


Claimed

by Quibilah



Series: Claimed Universe [1]
Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a happy-ish ending, Child Death, Claimed Universe, Demons, F/M, German Chapter, German Mythos, Past Rape/Non-con, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 126
Words: 278,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quibilah/pseuds/Quibilah
Summary: To prevent a war and the death of her disciple, Vera allowed others to gain access to every moment of pain in her life, pain she'd been keeping to herself behind solid re-enforced walls for the past 19 years. Walls she thought impregnable until she met a cunning wolf that seemed determined to break her along with her walls.Alternatively, Hamish trying to break through Vera's defenses and show her she's worth caring about...with a little help from Tundra and a few others along the way as they battle yet another threat to civilization.Part 1: Claimed, covers the time frame of season 2 episode 6 - season 2 episode 10.Part 2: Bonded, picks up right where Claimed and s2e10 leaves off. Will follow shortly after Claimed
Relationships: Hamish Duke/Vera Stone
Series: Claimed Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166036
Comments: 1765
Kudos: 352





	1. Pain of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> So I want to start off saying this is my first fic I’ve written in about six or seven years and my first for The Order and it got a lot darker than I expected when I woke up from the dream that inspired this story…apparently even though I love Vera and Hamish and their relationship, I just have to hurt them, her especially. I do plan for this to be a happy ending with lots of Vermish, but I am going to crush them a quite a bit throughout. 
> 
> There are hints of past rape, parental abuse and death of a baby in this chapter and will likely be referenced in future chapters, I will be sure to post trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters. 
> 
> I will try to update as quickly as possible. Fingers crossed my muse doesn't run away  
> And now, off to the story!

Chapter One

As Vera finished the last of the Egregore she took a second to calm and focus herself before activating the emotional amplifier she’d taken. As she did so, she tried to block all thoughts of the wolves from her mind, but she is sure Mr. Morton was able to gleam at least some level of her emotions the minute his face crosses her mind.

She feels the fresh wave of betrayal all over again and has to take a stuttering breath as she’s bombarded with the strength of emotions flooding through her. She attempts to clamp down on those memories before revealing too much to the others and is almost thankful her mind switches its focus to the last time she’d been emotionally manipulated for another’s gain. However, with the anger and pain that memory with Coventry brings, she feels embarrassment rush through her.

She still couldn’t believe she’d admitted to wanting to fuck that man! Especially since she believed he was pure fucking evil at the time, which she’d like to add he was. What kind of twisted person wants to fuck someone they thought was evil, and she almost did!

A fresh wave of humiliation swept through her when she remembered where she was and that two of her disciples, one of which was the son of that asshole, were privy to these thoughts.

She needn’t have worried about her embarrassment too much however, because that memory brought with it the all-encompassing pain of her daughter’s death crashing into her and all other thoughts became background noise for the voyeurs to consume.

The pain and mortification that filled her when she’d confessed to her parent’s that she was pregnant. Her father demanding to know who the father was as he threw a vase across the room shattering it. Her tearful attempts to try to unravel what exactly had happened that night at the party her parent’s had forced her attend to parade her off to all their ‘friends’ while trying to force her to act more like a 'normal' teenager.

She almost shattered like her favorite blue vase strewn across the floor when she tried for what felt like the millionth time to make sense of that night. No matter how hard she focused there was no clearing that night up. Nothing past the flashes that had her waking in a cold sweat and gasping for breath ever sense.

A faceless blur above her grunting as pain lanced through her body. Vice grips on her wrists and ankles holding her down that caused the bruises she’d try to hide the following weeks as the blue faded from purple to green to yellow until nothing remained to remind her of that night besides flashes of terror and pleading for it to stop that had her retching most of her meals.

The look on her parents faces while her father literally shoved her out of the house as she broke down in a sobbing mess. His screaming at her for embarrassing them and allowing this to happen, which still echoed in her mind every now and then when she’d fail at something.

They’d told her not to leave her drink unattended! If she chose not to listen to them, it was just another thing she’d failed to do, only this time she was embarrassing _them._ Besides, none of their friend’s children would ever think of forcing themselves on someone. Now she was trying to ruin some innocent boy’s future as well as her own.

The last time she’d seen her parents had been when her father chucked a few hundreds at her as she sat where’d she’d fallen from his earlier shoving over the threshold, clutching fistfuls of her hair, trying to fight herself to keep from completely shattering. The last thing her father had spat at her was that her and her bastard were not welcome in their home and to find someplace else to live. Somewhere accepting of the conniving whore she’d proved herself to be before he’d slammed the door on her. Ignoring her as she reached out with a shaking hand trying to apologize to them.

She’d taken the money and fled, never looking back. She didn’t want to rely on someone like that again, for someone she trusted to be able to crush her like that again.

She’d created a wall around herself in her new life. She would never need to rely on anyone else, never be weak enough and allow someone to have that much power over her again.

That lonely protective wall shattered the moment her daughter was born.

Despite the circumstances and pain of her conception and her parent’s fury and having to scrape by, her daughter was perfection. Vera had known the second she was placed in her arms that this little girl was everything to her, nothing else mattered but this precious infant sleeping peacefully in her arms.

Every bad thing she had endured in her life; every blurry pain filled memory of that unfortunate night that haunted her sleep still, every sleep deprived night, every extra shift worked when she wasn’t focusing on her studies to the point of exhaustion.

Little Alexandra made her pain disappear and her life worth living. For those seven months, Vera had known true happiness and love. She carried the world in her arms and loved so deeply there were times she thought she might burst from sheer joy.

She started to allow her co-workers in, started beginning even better friends with her neighbors who were more than happy to watch little Ally when she worked. She was always smiling and laughing now because just the thought of her baby girl’s perfect face chased away the darkness of her past.

All it took was one kiss. One simple happy little kiss planted on her giggling babies’ nose for her world to crash around her. She’d forgotten lunch that day and started to feel dizzy in the last hour of her shift. Her co-worker noticed and offered half of her peanut butter sandwich just to get her through the shift without passing out.

She doesn’t blame her co-worker of course, she blames herself. She knew better then to rely on others. She should not have forgotten her lunch at home that day. If she hadn’t, Ally’s bubbly laughter would have continued to fill her small apartment. If she hadn’t made another stupid mistake, she wouldn’t have had to listen as high-pitched giggles turned to anguished cries as her daughter tried to draw breath.

Vera checked her airway and when she saw nothing blocking it, she tried to push air into her tiny lungs. As the wailing began to soften Vera signed in relief as she pulled back smiling. The relief was snuffed out by panic as she watched Ally’s face turning purple from lack of oxygen.

She had screamed for help as she clutched her baby girl, begging for anyone to hear her as she continued to try to push air into her lungs, tears streaming down her face and into Ally’s short raven locks.

The neighbors had heard her screaming and called the ambulance the second they burst through the door. It had arrived much too late to do anything. Vera had failed again, only this time, the cost was way too high.

Her walls erupted again, stronger than ever, and she grew numb to the world around her. She stopped smiling, stopped talking unless it was necessary, stopped answering the door, knowing it was either her neighbors or co-workers trying to check in on her. She didn’t deserve nor want their sympathy, not after what she’d done.

She was lost and broken and threw herself into her schoolwork. Taking any extra shift offered at work just to avoid the now silent house where she’d failed her daughter.


	2. What's His Game?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to tide you over since we barely got any Hamish in the last one. I'm not thrilled with this one, but I've rewritten it three times already and just need to move forward.

When she received a text from Hamish alerting her to Foley’s capture, she’s beyond thankful she’d already severed the emotional amplifier and mostly safeguarded her thoughts from the others again. 

The previous anger and hurt towards him that she’d let slip was nothing compared to what the simple text inflicted upon her. 

She still felt pain throughout the years despite what others believed. Every time one of her disciples died, she felt the sting of failure for not being able to save them, but she never showed it. The wall she’d erected nineteen years ago that allowed her to survive was immovable and impenetrable, or so she believed.

She doesn’t fully understand how he’d begun to erode her subconscious defenses without her realizing it, though she suspects his wolf played a part. Oh yes, she’s read about all of the wolves and she knows from fighting side by side with him that he was Tundra, the Cunning one.

The first person to make a dent in her defenses felt nothing but contempt for her. Wanted nothing more than to distract her and what, humiliate her? And she’d unwittingly allowed him to do so.

Rage that she’d been weak and allowed him to use her like that had her hand clenching around her phone. She closed her eyes in an attempt to calm her mind somewhat before turning to Xavier to ask for an address.

He’d tried to reach out a few times since they’d fucked but she’s had years of practice pushing others away with her cold facade. She wouldn’t let him see her vulnerable again, she wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.

Fucking was one thing, if it had just been fucking she wouldn’t have been hurt, she still would’ve been pissed, but she wouldn’t have been hurt. The problem was it didn’t feel like fucking. In her experience you didn’t caress and leave trails of open-mouthed kisses while cuddling after you fucked. That was the dangerous part.

She’d let her mask slip during their time together, showing her vulnerable side and once for that brief moment after regaining consciousness after Rogwan. She’d felt the cool cloth on her forehead and looked up confused that someone was actually taking care of her. She didn’t allow people to care for her anymore and no one bothered to fight her to allow them to look after her. 

It’d been so long since that last time someone had cared for her like this. Back when she believed her morning sickness was just from the trauma she’d experienced and allowed her mother to believe it was a bug. She remembers clear as day as her mother had held her hair back with a cold compress on her forehead as she attempted to empty her stomach rubbing her back in an attempt to sooth the tears and choked sobs. Her mother had always cared for her until her father had kicked her out, that was the first time she’d seen disappointment directed towards her on her mother’s face. 

When their eyes met and she saw his concerned gaze she’d allowed herself a second to believe he actually cared for her, that he actually wanted to sleep with her, wanted to care for her. That he felt something for her other than hatred.

Then everything from the past few days came back and she’d shoved his hands off of her forcefully, coughing with the force of the movement as her mask settled back in place to deal with the matter at hand. 

She was frustrated he kept trying to keep the charade up, what was he trying to get from her now? He’d taken almost everything already, was he trying to claim her life now too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Hamish certainly has his work cut out for him.


	3. Leave, Acolyte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer. I felt bad leaving it without having any real Vera/Hamish interactions. Hopefully I can keep this pace up!

CHAPTER 3

After Foley’s massacre the four of them made their exit, promising to let the remaining Promethean's know as soon as they found anything.

She allowed Hamish to drive them all back without resistance, mostly seeing as she’d ridden over with Xavier and had no other transportation. She didn’t want to be in an enclosed space with any of them, but she couldn’t stay where she was. She needed to get someplace safe where she could recoup and build her defenses back up.

Without talking Jack ushered Alyssa into the back of the car with him, leaving the front seat to her. She stared out the window the entire drive, trying to regain control of her emotions and block the other two from her thoughts.

Throughout the drive she continued to feel Jack’s pitying and Hamish’s ‘ _concerned_ ’ gazes on her, just infuriating her further. He needed to stop acting like he cared about her. She knew what he was doing now, did he really think she was stupid enough to continue to fall for his games?!

Just as she was about to snap at him to keep his eyes on the road, Jack started talking to him asking him to relay what happened while they were away. Vera was thankful for the attention being pulled from her, but she also knew it meant he’d heard part of thoughts which caused her jaw and fists to clench once again. She should be stronger than this by now!

She violently flinched as she felt his hand cover her closed fist. Vera jerked her fist away as her head snapped towards him with cold unfocused eyes that hardened further as he imitated worry. He pulled his hand back in a motion showing he didn’t want to hurt her and pointed towards her hand.

“Your hand’s bleeding.”

She looked down and unclenched both fists showing four slashes in each palm from her nails piercing her skin. She watched the blood slowly flow from each puncture showing she was still alive before passing each hand over the other palm erasing the evidence of her lack of control. She saw the handkerchief he was holding out for her to clean her hands and almost didn’t take it out of spite, but she really didn’t want to get blood on her clothes if she could avoid it.

“Don’t worry Mr. Duke, your precious seats are safe.” Didn’t mean she wasn’t happy about accepting anything from him. She did enjoy the frown replacing his smile when she accepted the handkerchief. _I’m on to you, it’s not going to work this time._

He parked as close to the temple as he could, but they were still a ways away. Vera had immediately gotten out of the car, still clutching the handkerchief and briskly started towards the entrance, the other three trailing behind her. Hamish attempted to follow Vera into her office, thinking they needed to discuss Foley and Midnight sooner rather than later, but she’d turned and blocked the doorway before he could enter.

“Something I can help you with Acolyte?” Vera didn’t want to deal with him right now, she was still too raw from the potion she’d drank, too close to letting all her rage out or worse, her pain. She just needed a few hours. Just an hour or two alone to compose herself, then she’d be able to tackle the new issue.

She felt a small thrill when she saw the frown cross his face again at her use of his title.

Hamish looked back towards Jack and Alyssa at the Temple entrance, they seemed to be preoccupied with their own conversation to notice them. No one else was present in the temple as far as he could see so he lent forward slightly.

“I thought we could talk ab…”

“I have pressing matters to attend to. I don’t have time to entertain you acolyte. In case you forgot, our current situation is because _you_ idiots wanted revenge. Now once again, I need to clean up the mess you’ve left.” Vera met his eyes hoping her fractured mask would be enough. Hamish saw the moisture in her eyes, her clenched jaw, fists clutching each arm as if she was holding herself from falling to pieces.

“Vera, what happened? What’s wrong…” His hand unconsciously lifted towards her face as worry blossomed across his own, his voice dropping slightly.

“That’s _Grand Magus_ disciple.” She batted his hand roughly away before it could connect with her cheek. “Remember your place acolyte!” She turned on her heel and clenched her jaw. “See yourselves out.”

And with that she lifted her hand and slammed the door shut before sealing it from the inside. Now that she was safely in her office, locked away from prying eyes she allowed the days anguish to wash over her and slid down the door slowly as the ghostly sounds of her daughter’s screams echoed in her mind again. She didn’t even really care at that moment if Alyssa and Jack were able to feel it, but a small part of her hoped they would be too distracted with Alyssa’s pain to notice her own.

She faintly heard Hamish try to unlock the door and call her name softly, but she wasn’t going to fall for it again. He had no idea what she’d gone through today, and if she were lucky, he never would.

She knew better though and released a strangled laugh. Mr. Morton may have said he was sorry about her daughter to her face, but she knew they still considered The Order, and therefore her, their enemy. The pain of her past was ammunition the wolves could use against her and there was no doubt in her mind that they would if the time came.

She allowed herself a few moments of weakness and dropped her head to her drawn knees and released an almost silent sob as tears flowed down from clenched eyes. She deserved to experience her pain again, she deserved what Hamish had done to her. She was a monster.

She couldn’t save herself at that party so long ago, couldn’t live up to her parents expectations, couldn’t save daughter, so many of her disciples the past few years had been killed, she almost willingly fucked a madman, who then turned around and ordered her death, _and_ she’d erased the Knight’s memories, _his_ memories, after they’d saved them, after he had saved her.

She’d done it to save their lives, but they didn’t understand, they refused to believe that it was either their memories or their deaths. Even still, she let them down in her attempt to rescue them. They were just more names to add to the long list of people she failed in her life.

Clutching the handkerchief she didn’t realize she was still holding she allowed her failures to consume her for the moment so she could start to rebuild her mental barricades.

Hamish knew Vera was upset; how could she not be? They had stolen from her and almost brought upon the fear apocalypse. All because they wanted revenge for their memories being taken away.

He understood why she had done it, not at the time no, but now? Being in the order, meeting Kepler and other members and seeing their hatred for the Knights, he understood that she did the only thing she could think of to keep them alive.

If it weren’t for Tundra, he knew he wouldn’t have heard the quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door. He knocked gently, hoping she would allow him in.

“Vera, please, open the door, talk to me.” His quiet pleading was met with silence and he rest his forehead against the door and released a sign filled with regret and pain. He didn’t know why she was crying; something must’ve happened at The Commons. That much was clear from the car ride home.

When he had smelled her blood fill the car his growing worry for her skyrocketed, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching over to try to sooth her and stop her from injuring herself further. He hadn’t expected the fury on her face, but he really should have. But for her to show weakness in public? Even if she was alone in her office at the Temple, it had to be something really bad.

All he knew for sure was that it physically hurt to hear the barely audible shuttering breaths and quiet sniffles. He tried again to get her attention by knocking and calling her name once more. “Let me help Vera, please.”

“I _said_ to see yourselves out, don’t you think you’ve done enough already?! Now Acolyte.” The bite to the words was lessened by the cracked _now_ , but it was clear there was no way she would be opening the door for him.

 _Why would she? Because you slept together?! That doesn’t mean she wants anything else from you._ The thought stung more then he thought it would. Standing he turned and saw Jack a few steps away watching him with his head tilted slightly as if trying to get a read him.

“Let’s go.” Hamish said walking out of the temple and away from Vera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I hate me too...I promise, next chapter is going to be much nicer (I hope!), lots of happy Vermish in it so far.


	4. Tall Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write! And very little angst!

They were silent for the first few minutes when finally, Jack couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dude, seriously. I have to know, what is going on with you and her?”

Hamish looked up and opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and looked back towards his feet clenching his fists again.

“Does this have anything to do with you sleeping with Vera the other day?” Immediately Hamish’s steps faltered, and his head snapped towards the younger man.

“We didn’t…it’s not…how do you…?” If Hamish didn’t look so distraught Jack would’ve laughed at the flustered look on the usually unflappable face.

“No point in trying to deny it, the Egregore mind juice was strong on its own, but that emotional amplifier thing she did was something else entirely. I don’t know the whole story, thank god, she buried the thought fast, probably to avoid the Prometheans finding out you’re a wolf and everything that went down, but I definitely know it happened. And boy is she is _pissed._ ” He chuckled slightly, not finding it amusing so much as being slightly uncomfortable, the laugh just came out in an attempt to relieve the tension.

He’s not sure why he is so irritated all of a sudden. The fact that Jack knows he slept with Vera, that Vera is pissed with him, or that Jack is acting like this whole thing is one big joke.

“Fine. Yes, that’s part of it. I get that she’s upset with us, we messed up, but we’re trying to fix it…”

“Hamish, let me stop you right there. Yes, she’s upset with all of us, but she’s pissed at you. Probably because you slept with her and immediately took her stuff…I mean, don’t get me wrong I wanted them all to pay, but I think even by Lilith’s standards it was a little cold to sleep with her first…”

“No, it wasn’t…I wouldn’t….I didn’t plan for it to happen. I wouldn’t do that to her.” At Jack’s raised eyebrow Hamish quickly amended his statement. “I wouldn’t do that to anyone. She was complimenting the drink I brought her and I asked if she’d like another. She made a comment about bringing her something in a Tall glass and before I knew it, we were…”

“Woah, no, uh huh, nope. Again, gonna have to stop you right there. I don’t need the details. I don’t _want_ the details. All I know is she believes you slept with her to distract her so we could get the _ya know_.” Even he wasn’t stupid enough to admit to stealing from the order where anyone could hear.

A new level of guilt fell on Hamish’s shoulders. He didn’t even think of what they were planning to do to The Order when he’d slept with her. He was too caught up in the waves of need her request incited.

Sleeping with her wasn’t at all what’d he’d expected it’d be like. As soon as their lips touched it was as if a wildfire was released. They both roughly fought for control, pushing and pulling at each other almost furiously as they knocked things out of their way, exactly what he and probably most others thought it’d be like with her. But then it changed, without him even realizing it was happening.

Their kisses became gentle, both giving control to the other instead of taking it. His bites along her neck became nips and open-mouthed kisses as she tunneled her hand through his hair holding him to her as she tilted her head to give more access. Her clawing turning to barely there caresses. Demands and shoves became quiet gasps and moans of pleasure.

Rather than continuing roughly against the wall, she allowed him to gently lay her down on the cold floor, eliciting a quiet hum from her throat as it cooled her fevered skin.

She’d allowed him to thoroughly explore her, the tension in her body abating as he took his time mapping her body and taking note of all the places that caused her to squirm. He smirked as he returned to the spot just above her collar bone where her shoulder met her neck and she let out a peal of laughter and attempted to push him away, only encouraging him to trap her body further with his as he continued sucking deeply between gentle scrapes with his teeth, despite her increasing squirming and laughter.

He would’ve left what would certainly be a spectacularly _massive_ hicky if she hadn’t breathlessly begged him to stop between her laughing gasps for air and tugs of his hair. He pulled back with a huge grin and stared at her flushed smiling face. He was entranced at her beauty and all thoughts of continuing his torture on her neck faded.

He held her gaze as he slowly entered her again drawing out a throaty gasp from both of their throats. He reached out grasping each of her hands above her head and lacing their fingers together savoring her hands clutching back just as tightly. Both refused to break eye contact as if doing so would shatter everything and reveal none of this was actually happening.

As her eyes shut tightly, he released one of her hands to brush hair from her face gently. “Vera, Vera look at me.” He pleaded with her as he gently tugged on her hair to break through her haze. He smiled at her adoringly when her eyelids fluttered open meeting his eyes, his name escaping almost silently from her lips as she came. It was enough to pull him over with her, a breathy, _‘gods, Vera’_ the only sound accompanying their heavy breathing.

He rolled slightly and pulled her head onto his shoulder and leg over his own and held her tightly to him as they came down from their high, trailing his fingers along her spine and arm that she had draped across his chest as he gently kissed the top of her head. All that existed was her and him and this moment.

She had drifted off to sleep almost an hour ago, but it was fine with him. She was so unguarded and peaceful in her sleep he couldn’t take his eyes off her as he continued to gently trail his fingers over her back and side. He never wanted to move, never wanted to let her go; he was thoroughly addicted to the woman in his arms.

It obviously didn’t last; good things rarely do in his experience. A text came through on her phone breaking the peaceful atmosphere as she awoke and threw her arm to the side, Hamish refusing to loosen his hold on her and attempted to rummage in her clothes for the pesky thing. Hamish took full advantage of her exposed throat and chest to lavish kisses and caresses.

He’d trailed the fingers on his free hand down the length of her outstretched arm starting at her wrist and continuing up and over her shoulder, down her side, over her hip and towards her inner thigh. Her searching had paused as she breathed deeply trying to fight the arousal and her hips from rolling forward in an attempt to satisfy the hunger he was building in her again.

He trailed his mouth towards her chest, her hand moving into his hair as he smiled before she forced him the rest of the way to her chest where she desperately wanted him. His slow torturous pace had led to his head nestled between her thighs, tongue hungrily drawing out continuous gasps from the woman he was so focused on. Both hands held fistfuls of his hair when her phone pinged again and he only just grabbed her hand in time to keep her from answering it, speeding up and applying more pressure with his tongue.

“Wait, it..It could be…important… _yes Hamish, god yes_!” His name being ripped from her lips as she tried to focus caused him to groan, electing a throaty whimper from her as she rode out the rest of her orgasm. Vera pulled him up by his hair relishing the taste of herself on his lips. She’d never been able to let someone go down on her and enjoy it, nor top her before always feeling too restrained and vulnerable flipping them over so she could remain in control and able to flee if needed, but _god_ there was something about this man!

He brushed a wisp of hair from her face behind her ear and cradled her jaw with one hand, the other on her hip as he gently entered her again, kissing her slowly to match his pace. Just as he had the first time, he grasped her hand, threading their fingers together as he felt his release approaching, moving his other hand into her hair and pulling back to watch in awe as she fell apart beneath him before following her over the precipice.

He collapsed mostly on top of her as they both tried to get their breathing under control. In between gulps he found himself planting gentle kisses along her neck again. Through the fog, he tried to remember if he’d ever been so fascinated with necks before, he couldn’t be sure because nothing but _Vera_ was filling his thoughts, but he didn’t think so. He’s pretty sure it’s her neck specifically that has him so utterly captivated.

A ringing broke through their panting and she tried to free herself from under him to reach it. His annoyed growl-like grumble and tightening arms caused her to pause as she laughed, planting a quick kiss on his lips before continuing to search for the obnoxious device. She let out ‘ah ha’ as her fingers finally closed on it and brought it to her face.

The name ‘Kepler’ was flashing above a cropped picture of Kepler’s face showing just the eyepatch. It usually made her smirk, but this time her ridiculous eyepatch just caused Vera to pale slightly.

“Shit, get off, now!” She shoved him completely off of her as she opened the device. “What do you want now Bitsy?” Vera watched as Hamish went to laugh at her irritation and immediately threw herself at him so she could cover his mouth with her free hand. She glared down at him with a clear warning to be quiet. She watched his gaze darken and felt his hands grab onto her hips dragging her fully on top of him until she was straddling him and rolled his hips up towards hers.

Watching her shiver, eyes squeezing shut as she bit down hard on her lip to keep herself quiet was all he needed to go again. Standing fully erect he lifted her slightly so he could line himself up and gently pulled her down on top of him again. Her hand clenched down over his mouth as her own dropped open to release a silent gasp in response, head dropping backwards in pleasure before she righted it and shook her head to grunt a response to Kepler. “ _Now?_ I’m a little busy at the moment.”

He smirked, wanting to break her focus completed. He lifted her almost fully off of him before guiding her down again, her chin dropping towards her chest, blood slowly dripped from her lip with the force of her bite to keep the moan contained. It was taking everything she had to be quiet but still a strangled _oh_ escaped as her lips. He was so close to breaking her composure, he lifted her up again and pulled her down roughly thrusting up to meet her this time.

“ _God yes!_ I mean, yes fine, see you then.” She hung up without waiting for a response and slid her phone back towards her clothes. She removed her hand to see his wicked smirk and was just about to lecture him when he abruptly yanked her down again just as her mouth opened, a loud broken moan echoing throughout the vault replacing whatever she was going to say.

“You were sayi…. _Vera!_ ” It was her turn to smirk as she’d suddenly cut him off with a roll of her own hips supporting herself with her hands on his chest. “Kepler’s on her way here, which means we only have a few minutes to finish what you started. Better get to wor… _mmmmm”_ Hamish had pulled her down into a passionate kiss and planted his feet to give him better leverage as he held her to him. Each thrust into her was met with her own, falling into a perfect rhythm. Vera sank her teeth into his shoulder to stifle her cry as he hit just the right spot.

He fisted his hand in her hair and pulled her head away from his shoulder when he felt her biting him and her walls fluttering around him.

“Look at me Vera, let go, I’ve got you, just let go for me. God you’re _beautiful._ ” He whispered as he watched her shatter around him again. He kissed her deeply as he came, hugging her tightly to him until he was spent and left gasping for breath under her. Vera almost allowed herself to drift off again until she saw her phone out of the corner of her eye.

Kepler was on her way to her office; she would be there in less than ten minutes, probably closer to five by this point. Vera shot up frantically searching for her clothes as she hurried to dress, ordering him to do the same.

“This needs to stay between us, if Kepler or anyone else finds out…just trust me, we don’t want anyone to find out, it wouldn’t be good for either of us.” She’d said as her hand was poised in the air to unlock the doors.

“Understood, know anything to help with this?” He gestured to his face knowing from the lipstick smeared on her face it was probably on his as well. The blush that spread across her cheeks sent a stab of arousal through him that had him yanking her towards him to plant a deep kiss on her lips that she sank into until she remembered Kepler and shoved him away, blush deepening. She was way too adorable when she was flustered.

He’d been too caught up thinking about how adorable she was that he’d completely missed the incantation, but a second later all traces of sex were gone, including the marks he’d littered her neck with he noticed with surprised disappointment. He had never cared to leave marks before, why did he care that the ones he’d made were gone?

“After you Grand Magus” he’d bowed slightly with his hand out gesturing for her to go first. The half grin on his face made it clear, there was no doubt in either of their minds why he wanted her to go first. And if she added a little extra sway to her hips, well, who could really blame her.

It wasn’t until she’d quite literally shoved him out of her office that the Knight’s plan came crashing down. All he could think about was getting the chance to be alone with her again, but this plan would make that impossible. They were supposed to take the day to basically say goodbye to anything Order related, instead he found himself craving the woman he was about to rob, the woman in charge of The Order.

If they didn’t already have the plan finalized, if they hadn’t already summoned Zecchia, if their hide lockers weren’t being held in the Vault, if it weren’t for the promise he’d made to the other Knight’s, he believed he wouldn’t have followed through with the theft.

Now even more then the instant regret when they learned about Rogwan and the sickles he wishes he had turned around and come clean to Vera.

“I uh, I forgot something, I’ll catch up with you back at the Den?” Jack rolled his eyes at the obviousness of what Hamish had forgotten, but before he could stop him to explain Vera needed time, Hamish was already running back towards the Temple.

He considered going after Hamish, but instead headed for the Den to wait. After what he witnessed of Vera’s past, he doubted Hamish would be able to get through to her and knew he would want answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this will help over the next chapter...which will unfortunately not be so happy. I do have a question for you guys, do you think Vera would use a truth potion on Hamish if he willing offered? If so, what are some of the questions you'd think she'd ask/would want to see?


	5. He’s lying Vera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you those that review. My muse was so happy she basically poured this chapter out...and chapter 11 and half of 12 which was a surprise since usually I write bulleted notes as a guideline and don't actually write chapters without having the SIX chapters before it written....Keep in mind that though the next few chapters are pretty angsty, the story is starting to actually develop now...and at the very least chapter 11 and 12 will be nice...well...mostly ;)

Vera heard the retreating footsteps telling her she was finally alone and allowed herself to turn in on herself a little further. She was upset with herself for the disappoint she felt when she realized that he hadn’t stayed. She didn’t want him to stay! She didn’t need him there and she didn’t care that he left. She didn’t need anyone.

Years of living with the pain allowed her to calm the sobs faster than one would expect. Her vacant staring however was another thing. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there staring at the blood-soaked cloth in her hands when the pounding on the door finally got through to her. She hastily stood wiping her eyes with the handkerchief and made her way to sit behind her desk.

She took a deep breath and pulled her mask back as she grabbed the closest book towards her, opening to a random page to appear busy. One last deep breath and she unlocked the door and uttered for them to enter, keeping her eyes downcast.

“Thank god you’re okay!” Hamish exclaimed causing her head to snap up and meet his face which was imitating concern. “I’ve been knocking and trying to get your attention for the past fifteen minutes Vera! I couldn’t hear anything, and you weren’t responding. I thought…but you’re fine, you’re okay.”

When Hamish didn’t hear her even breathing on the other side of the door he had panicked slightly. He had seen the anguish on her face before she’d shut him out, heard it in her voice and he was petrified she had done something. Why did he care so much about her?! He barely knew her! She shouldn’t be able to do this to him.

She just watched him silently with her mouth open slightly in shock as he dropped into the chair in front of her desk as if he’d just been told the world wasn’t ending. As he brought his hands to scrub over his face, she found her voice again.

“ _What_ are you doing here acolyte, I told you to leave.” Hamish looked at her for a second before shutting the door with a flick of his hand.

“We need to talk about the other day Vera. I need to explain…”

 _No no no!_ _I can’t do this now! Not now, I need time!_

“Not only is now _not_ an appropriate time, but there’s nothing to discuss…”

“We both know that isn’t true Vera…”

“Grand Magus, Mr. Duke.” She snapped picking up the book and leaning back in her chair to act unbothered. Neither believed the act.

“Enough already, just stop and let me explain.” Why was this woman so goddamn stubborn! She had to know he wasn’t buying into her indifferent attitude.

“As long as you are a part of this Order, I expect you to show me the respect I am due and to listen when I give you an order.” _Please, just leave!_

He huffed lowly gritting his teeth to keep from snapping at her knowing it would only make things worse.

“It wasn’t what you’re thinking it was…”

“And what is it I’m supposed to be thinking?” She finally snapped slamming the book on the table and tossing her hands in the air in exasperation. “Hmm? Since it’s clear you have all the answers here, please enlighten me.” _Calm down Vera! You need to stay calm! Don’t do this! Breathe!_

“I didn’t plan it this way, it wasn’t…I didn’t want to sleep with you…” His eyes widened as soon as the words came out of his mouth and he looked to her face seeing the quick flash of hurt before her expression cooled to arctic temperatures.

“That didn’t come out the way I planned.” He rushed before she could say anything. “I didn’t not want to sleep with you, I did, I do! It was just a mistake to sleep with you when we did…” Why were his words failing him so badly right now, he just kept digging himself deeper.

“Let me start over, forget what I said, this is all coming out wro...”

“That’s _enough._ ” Cold fury was lacing her quiet words and he froze at the tone. “We will forget this whole thing…”

“No! Vera, that’s not what I meant…”

“I _said_ that’s enough!” Her hand slammed the top of the desk as her voice rose. He actually flinched at the sudden change in volume and she enjoyed the thrill it sent through her. They sat in silence for a minute as they both took deep breaths staring the other down. Finally, Hamish broke the stalemate.

“I’m sorry Vera, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He kept his eyes on his lap throughout his quiet admission until her hallow vicious laughter broke the silence.

“Hurt me? Hurt _me_?!” _Vera, no! Stop, you’ll regret this, just breathe!_ “Do you honestly think you could hurt me over a quick simple fuck!” _VERA! ENOUGH!_

“It wasn’t a simple fuck and you know it!”

“Ha! Is that what you truly believe?! You naïve _boy_!”

“You know it wasn’t Vera! You know it! There was more to it…”

She stood up and braced her arms on her desk sneering down at him. _Please don’t do this, get ahold of yourself._

“You want to know what it meant?” he was sure by her tone and facial expression that he most definitely did not, but she carried on anyways. _You’re only making it worse Vera, please just walk away, please!_

“It meant that you were there, and I was bored with a few hours to kill. At least I learned for the future not to let a mangy pup near me…”

“It may have started out that way, but it didn’t stay that way. I know it meant more to you, even if you’re too damn stubborn to admit it. I was there, I saw it on your face Vera, and you have to know it meant something to me too.”

“Will you stop it already?!” She tried to deflect and squash the bubble of hope rising in her. _You know he’s lying; he doesn’t care about you, no one cares about you. He’s just using you so stop being so fucking pathetic!_

“I’m not falling for any more of your games Mr. Duke. I should congratulate you on your attempts though, really, well done. But just stop it already, this isn’t an audition. I won’t be calling on you to assist in the future, I’ll just wait for one of the others to come, they’ve always left me satisfied and never robbed me afterwards.”

“It wasn’t a game Vera! This thing between us isn’t some kind of act! I wouldn’t do tha…what do you meant others?” His desperation to make her understand just got derailed by a few words.

A cruel smile curled on her face as her brow rose. She’d thrown that in to deflect, but she liked seeing its effect on the man before her.

He shook his head clearing the sudden jealously and focused on her eyes that reflected only pain. “There is no sinister plan here Vera. No plot to manipulate you or use you. I don’t regret sleeping with you, I will _never_ regret being with you. The only thing I regret is the way it happened and what I did afterwards because it made you doubt whatever happened between us that day. I can see the hurt in your eyes and I’m sorry for causing it. Please, believe me when I say, to me, what we shared the other day meant a lot more than a quick fuck to pass the time and I hope I can fix the mess I made and show you what you mean to me.”

“Don’t bother. There will _never_ be anything between us. I have plenty of _men_ to entertain me in the future. See yourself out and don’t return unless you’re summoned.” She swung the door open and picked up the book as she sat down facing the fire blinking rapidly to try to stem the tears that started falling.

“I’ll prove I meant it Vera, every word. I’m not giving up on whatever this is. I’ll be here if you ever need to talk about what’s actually bothering you.” He whispered setting his pocket square on her desk before walking away, only just catching her quiet sob.

_He’s lying Vera, he wants something from you. No one actually wants to help you. No one could actually care about you and no one should. You deserve all of this. Just pull yourself together. You don’t need anyone!_

It took everything in him to continue walking, determined to show her he cared and that he wasn’t playing games with her.

Even after the short time he had known Vera, he knew there had to be something else going on to be causing this pain. He may have played a part, but he wasn’t naïve enough to believe he was the reason she was so upset. He knew there had to be something else causing the anguish in her eyes.

He needed to know so he could help her, whatever happened today seemed to almost break her and he couldn’t have that. He needed to speak with Jack.

He sent a quick text to Jack to confirm he was at the Den and headed there with determined steps. He would fix this and he would find a way to make her believe him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really think Vera in the show puts up this blockade to push others away and because of it she always thinks there's something else going on. I also feel like she blames herself for a lot of stuff that happens...why the self hatred and refusal to listen to Hamish in this chapter...but he's going to help her through it. Please leave a review.


	6. She's Ours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another sad one, but so important for story development.

Jack had heard hints of Vera’s thoughts, but he was more than a little confused only catching snippets of her trying to either calm herself or berate herself. He didn’t understand why she seemed to be able to block everything else, except those thoughts directed towards herself.

He didn’t think he could feel more sympathy for her after witnessing the pain she’d experienced, but the thoughts he was catching showed the pain and self-loathing behind her cold façade she kept in front of others. If he wasn’t still slightly irritated with the woman, he would be concerned enough to check in on her.

Although, based on the snippets of thoughts he was getting he doubted he’d be welcome. She seemed determined to be alone and he felt a moment of pity for her as well as his friend for choosing to sleep with someone so detached.

At that moment his phone chimed with the expected message from said friend. He was thankful Randall was out because he couldn’t handle the snide remarks the other wolf continuously made towards Vera, not after seeing the pain of her life.

He heard the door open and held up the glass of bourbon for Hamish, who greedily drank the whole thing.

“I take it from your reaction that it didn’t go well?” He held his hands up in surrender at the withering glare Hamish sent his way.

“She wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Can you blame her? She just experienced every minute of pain in her life again as if it was the first time less than three hours ago!”

“What are you talking about?”

“I told you she took an emotional amplifier potion thing, she said some spell, I’m guessing to focus on pain, and bam. Everything from when she was a kid to now.”

“I didn’t…I thought it was just her current emotions!”

“No, although thinking about it, maybe it only amplified recent emotions and past pain? I don’t really know to be honest. I do know however that she’s currently in no state to listen to anyone. Even the thoughts she was sending out when you two were talking made it clear…”

“What thoughts? You guys are still connected?” Now he felt even worse for trying to push her, he’d thought they were alone, and here he was basically advertising her weak side to anyone who had taken that damn juice.

“She severed the emotional attack back at the compound thankfully, but yeah, we’re still connected. Although, she’s extremely skilled at bottling her thoughts, mostly Alyssa’s are all I’m hearing…”

“What did you hear from her?”

“It’s a bit confusing only getting snippets but it seemed like she was trying to calm herself down and stop herself from saying things maybe? She was angry with herself that’s for sure so don’t take too much of what she said to heart.”

“So, she may believe me, just can’t listen right now?” At Jack’s refusal to meet his eyes, he knew there was more to it. “What did you hear Jack?”

“Isn’t this cheating? And why do you care so much anyways, I mean, it’s _Vera!_ ” Jack felt like he was betraying Vera by saying anymore, but he also couldn’t understand that Hamish actually cared about her so much.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Hamish was a bit surprised at the slight growl that accompanied his question.

“It’s just…oh shit…you really have a crush on her.”

“What are we, in middle school?”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you have…”

“Enough! What did you hear so I can try to fix this?”

“She’s not going to listen to you. She’s convinced you’re playing some game with her and everything you say is a lie. She’s going to keep pushing back no matter what or when you try because she won’t let anyone get close to her. Not only does she believe no one could care about her, but she’s built a wall around herself and she won’t _let_ anyone in to care about her.”

“There has to be something I can do to prove it to her.” He watched as Jack’s eyes widened a bit and waited.

“There actually might be something…but we need to get it back from Praxis first.”

“Details are kind of important here Jack.”

“In one of the memories she shared I saw her and Coventry with this glowing truth statue thing. It forced the truth from you, even when a question wasn’t asked.”

“Wait, how do you know it worked? I thought you only saw pain from her past?”

Jack hesitated trying to determine if he should tell him or not.

“I think we only saw it because the memory was linked to a painful part of her past…” Jack signed before continuing, sending out an ‘ _I’m sorry_ _Vera_.’

_‘Like I said earlier Mr. Morton, I don’t need nor want your pity.’_

“Coventry manipulated her into telling him about her daughter…”

“She has a daughter?” He knew the answer before Jack responded.

“She _had_ a daughter, when she was sixteen, her name was Alexandra and she died from anaphylactic shock when she was seven months’ old. Vera still blames herself for it and my _father_ used it to manipulate her into giving up the parts of Vade Maecum she had.” He didn’t think he could hate his father more then he already did, but he was wrong.

Hamish’s vision blurred with unexpected tears. She was reliving the death of her daughter and he was just making it worse by pushing her.

They were silent for several minutes as Jack allowed Hamish to absorb the news.

“That still doesn’t mean it works though. He was a master at manipulating people, how do you know he didn’t say just the right thing to get her to reveal that? I mean just because she told him about her daughter doesn't mean...” Hamish cut himself off seeing Jack shrink in on himself uncomfortably.

“What?”

“What?”

“Don’t what me, what else is there.”

“You know how I said she amplified her emotions, but seemed to mostly focus on her painful memories…well, this one didn’t _just_ have pain in it…based on what I felt, she was incredibly embarrassed…”

“Over what? Sharing about her daughter? I don't see why she would be embarrassed about that... She wasn’t embarrassed about that, Jack, enough with the withholding already. Details are kind of important to me.”

“She admitted to thinking about fucking him okay?! Full on embarrassment mixed with lust, over my dad, Ugh, can you imagine... Hamish, woah, dude, _heel_.” Hamish closed his eyes for a second and when they opened Jack was relieved to see they were back to the vibrant blue instead of the silver that had appeared showing he was in control again.

“Did they?”

“Did they what?”

“Did he fuck her?!” Hamish was surprised with the strength of jealousy that flared through him, more so when Tundra growled in his mind and started pushing to be released. He's never been the jealous type, especially over someone that he wasn't even dating, but the thought of _anyone_ touching her, especially Edward Coventry, infuriated him.

“Look Hamish, I don't know what happened, most of what came through was the pain of her daughter from that conversation, but think, if she admitted she wanted to fuck him and was embarrassed enough that it passed through the link then it has to work. If we can find it and use it on you it has to be able to convince her right?!”

Hamish tried to calm himself, she was free to fuck whoever she wanted, she wasn’t his. She'd made that abundantly clear, apparently, she had regulars. Again, Tundra growled in his head and pressed against him.

Hamish closed his eyes to focus on soothing his wolf.

_‘What is going on Tundra?’_

_‘She is ours_.’ Came a clear growl.

Hamish's eyes flew open and met Jack's wary gaze.

“Has Silverback ever spoken to you?”

“I get feelings from him every once in a while, but actual words? No. Why?”

“I’m pretty sure Tundra just spoke to me?”

“What’d he say?”

“ _She’s ours?_ Did any of the journals you read mention a hide claiming anyone other than a champion?” Jack's eyes went wide in surprise.

“Tundra is claiming Vera?!”

“I'm not... Maybe... I think so?”

“Dude, you so have more than a crush on her!” Jack exclaimed jumping up and rushing to the room he occasionally used.

Hamish recoiled slightly trying to mask the blush he could feel creeping up his neck.

“Why would you say that?!” He shouted after Jack but stayed where he was.

“One sec, I’m trying to find. Here it is!” He shouted from the room before running back with an old ratty book. “I had been reading this before your precious Magus powdered us…”

“You know you weren’t supposed to remove them from the basement!” Hamish admonished before realizing they still had one of the journals.

“Yeah, well be happy you scared me enough to hide it otherwise we wouldn’t even be having this discussion now would we!” He snapped back as he located the right passage.

“Okay, so usually the wolves don't care about who their champion is with, they lay dormant in relation to them unless called out by their champion for something. Like tracking a scent or the Champion’s desire to protect them. However, according to Anise’s, one of Timber's previous champions, journal” He indicated the book he was holding. “Midnight claimed someone.”

“Midnight? Really? That's surprising.”

“Not really if you think about it. Anise believed it's what made Midnight start sacrificing himself more for the others, becoming Cannon Fodder, and what I felt while wearing Midnight confirmed it to a point.”

“So, Midnight claimed a mate and what? The champion became it's vessel for emotions or something?” Hamish didn’t like that idea. Was it Tundra’s emotions he was feeling for Vera?

“Ha, good try, but no. It's not Tundra's emotions you're feeling for her man. It’s all in here.” He said handing over the journal indicating where Hamish should start following along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm taking it that the Hides just give off feelings to the Champions usually. So that's why Hamish is so floored when after 8 years (9 by this point?) Tundra clearly speaks to him. Next chapter will be focused on Midnight from Timber's perspective. Let me know what you think so far!


	7. Midnight's Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is one of my favorites because it's all about Midnight's backstory. It was actually a super vivid dream that inspired this story so I hope you all enjoy it! This is narrated by Jack basically giving the summary of Anise's journal. 
> 
> Also, if Anyone recognizes the names Marsh (Mistborn), Azure (Stormlight Archive) and Sarene (Elantris). They don't represent the characters from the books (all written by Brandon Sanderson), I just really like the names.

Chapter Seven

“According to the journal, Midnight's previous champion, Marsh, fell in love with Anise’s sister Azure. At first Anise forbid Marsh from courting her sister, the knights were always in constant danger and she wanted her sister safe. Not much has changed there, huh?

“Anyways, Marsh tried to distance himself from Azure. He knew Anise was right and he didn’t want to put Azure in the line of fire. He remained civil towards her whenever they were together, but he didn’t allow anything to move further.

“That is, until Anise and Azure were captured by some rogue practitioners that they had stopped a few weeks prior. They somehow knew Anise was part of the group that killed several of their members before they could enact mass murder on a neighboring land.

“Wanting to make Anise pay, they knocked her out and took the other person she lived with, Azure as a prisoner. They knew chaining Anise would prevent her from transforming so they chained her in one corner where she was forced to watch as they stripped and beat Azure in front of her.

“Anise isn't sure on how Marsh or Midnight knew; she suspects the Knight’s tracked her own scent when she didn't show for the scheduled patrol. But the next thing she knew Midnight had broken through the stronghold with the others and together they massacred every single person in the garrison.

“They saved them both, but Azure was beaten so horribly they didn’t know whether or not she’d survive. Azure had never seen them as wolves, had never even heard of them being wolves before today, but she threw herself at Midnight when he dropped down beside her, even after seeing him brutally slaughter her abusers she wasn’t afraid of him, and sobbed into his shoulder.

“She didn't flinch or release him when Marsh took control again, just kept saying how she knew he'd save her and how much she loved him before passing out from her many injuries.

“Marsh carried Azure the entire way back to her home and refused to leave her throughout her entire recovery.

“It was after Azure had fully recovered that Anise and Midnight spoke. Midnight made his claim known to her sister. She would either not stand in the way of Marsh and Azure, or she would have to fight him now.

“Thankfully by that point Anise already believed Azure would be safer with Marsh, but to see Midnight make a claim on her sister allowed her even more security because she knew her sister would be protected.

“They married a few months later to the joy of the rest of the Knights. Timber had never seen Midnight, the no nonsense, no mercy general so happy to not need to go into battle.

“He still fought anyone who threatened them or innocents, but he had a purpose besides just brutally killing. He had to protect his champion’s mate no matter the cost.

“They had eight years together and actually had a daughter but…”

Jack took a deep breath remembering Midnight’s rage when they’d been betrayed and knowing it was only a fraction of what he must’ve felt at the time.

“You see, the Knights had been called to a neighboring village on the outskirts of their woods. Apparently, a group of necromancers they’d been hunting were spotted there.

“Once the Knight’s had been gone for close to an hour, a militia that bore the mark of the necromancer group came to collect the children to use as sacrifices.

“Azure hid their three-year-old daughter, Sarene, under her skirts when no one was looking and slowly started walking towards a spot to hide her little girl. She was so close; they would make it and Sarene would be safe.

“It wasn’t until Azure saw that the youngest mother in their village was refusing to give up her newborn child that she started to doubt if she would make it. She couldn’t stand by and watch as they murdered the girl and her baby in front of her, she was still basically a child herself.

“When she saw the dagger raise almost as if in slow motion, she shoved little Sarene hoping she’d roll into the ditch and be safe under the foliage while she lunged forward, pulling her own dagger that Marsh had forced her to wear and slit the man’s throat.

“The girl dropped to her knees clutching her baby as she sobbed thanking Azure but stopped with a look of horror on her face. She pointed towards the large crimson stain rapidly spreading on Azure’s torso.

“Azure dropped to a knee as she realized that although she had killed the guard and saved the woman, she herself had been impaled by the attackers dagger. She should’ve realized he’d have two.

“She attempted to stumble back towards Sarene so she could say goodbye, possibly hide her from any guards with her own body, but as she stumbled and caught herself with her arm she heard her babies screams and looked up to see another man had picked the little girl up by her throat. He waited until he was sure Azure was watching and grinned as he slowly forced his sword through the tiny chest immediately stopping the Sarene’s struggles.

“He tossed her lifeless body towards Azure and spat at her before turning around.

“Midnight tore his head from his body before collapsing beside his Champion’s wife and daughter allowing Marsh to have control. Marsh cradled his wife as she struggled to breath and maintain her weak hold on Sarene’s limp form.

“Anise said they had returned as soon as they came upon the razed village having realized it was all a set up. But it was too late.

“They had already separated from The Order by that time, they didn’t know any magic that could heal Azure, and Sarene had died immediately. She was thankful that Marsh and Midnight got to say goodbye to her sister, but losing his family broke him.

“Marsh couldn't handle the loss and gave himself to Midnight who carried his Champion’s anguish and took to patrolling the forests more, knowing the necromancers were still out there.

“He would scout with the others, but he would only tolerate Anise’s presence outside of patrols.

“Almost two months passed, and Anise met with her brother-in-law on the outskirts of the village and told him of this wonderful man she'd started seeing, the same man he remembered Azure had been trying to set her up with.

“Just a week later during a normal patrol they ran across the group of necromancers when it was just him and Timber. Both howled to alert the other Knight’s and began fighting the powerful witches hoping the others would arrive soon.

“Midnight decapitated one witch and watched as the leader charged at Timber who was preoccupied fighting two other practitioners and threw himself between Timber and the leader just as her hand would’ve connected with Timber’s back.

“He ripped her heart out, but he wasn’t fast enough. He was just a few seconds too late to stop the blast that was meant for Timber from connecting with his chest. He stumbled backwards into Timber as the others broke through and finished the last two practitioners as he started dropping backwards into Anise’s arms.

“For the first time since his wife’s death Marsh appeared in his human form wearing a smile.

“With his last breaths he said Azure was still looking out for her big sister and how he wished Anise and Timber or the other Knights would be able to feel a claiming one day, perhaps with this new gentleman of hers Azure was always pushing towards her.

“Anise did get married, but Timber never showed an interest in her husband, she never felt that connection Marsh had with Midnight when they claimed Azure. She couldn’t experience the level of devotion Midnight had towards Azure. 

“It wasn't until the Knights were saluting their fallen friends on the anniversary of Azure’s death and swapping stories that she made the connection. It wasn't just the Champion feeling love towards their partner, otherwise Timber would’ve claimed her husband, or the other wolves with their Champion’s partners.

“The Champion’s love for their partner was crucial and just as important as the partner themselves. They had qualities that interested the hides, qualities that would’ve made them Champions themselves.

“See, Midnight could never stand to let an innocent or fellow Knight get hurt, even if it means sacrificing himself. Azure was much the same and she proved it when she sacrificed herself to save that woman.

“It's only when the Champion’s emotions for another are strong enough that the wolves care to pay any attention, but even then, just being in love isn't enough. It's only when the Champion themselves choose and devote themselves to a mate that the hide would choose as a champion that a claiming could potentially happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad for Midnight, arriving just a few second too late to save his family. But he saved his wife's sister, so that's something right... :'(
> 
> Next chapter is back to Hamish and his take on all this. 
> 
> I also want to give a huge thanks to Chinadoll00 and Kuningatarmirka for reviewing last chapter. You guys are fueling my muse and she just keeps cranking full chapters out instead of just bulleted drafts. 3.5 more chapters were typed today (12-15), I had to force myself to stop and come back and actually write the in-between chapters. But oh my goodness there are so many happy (with tiny hints of angst) coming.


	8. A Claim is Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, emergency projects came in for work. Next chapter may be a few days as I try to get back into things.

Hamish quietly absorbed the story. Suddenly things made a little more sense with Midnight. And it explained the changes in Lilith's behavior towards Vera. It had gone from loathing her to teasing him.

Timber was Lilith’s wolf, Timber whose previous champion’s sister was claimed by Midnight. The only other knight who truly understood the depth of what happened between Midnight and Azure. Timber who probably was still trying to honor her companion and previous Champion’s wishes that one of the Knight’s would get to experience what her Champion’s brother-in-law and her brother Knight, had.

Hamish had to admit his interest in Vera had started the second he had seen her in their basement. Back facing the door, bent over the desk, sleeves rolled up and fully engrossed in reading one of their grimoires she hadn’t even noticed that he’d entered. At least, he didn’t think she’d noticed until he saw her hand slowly moving towards the knife laid out on the desk beside her.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” He’d threatened making it clear he knew exactly what she was trying to do.

“Funny, I was going to say the same to you.” It took everything in him not to show the effect her beauty had on him when she turned around. His eyes slowly traveled from her heeled feet up her long legs, slender torso, lingering slightly on her chest before tracking her neck, which was longer on one side? Ah, she had caught him staring and had tilted her head with a raised brow waiting for him to meet her eyes. Eyes that told him she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

“Hamish Duke, leader of the Knights. I take it you must be the Temple Magus? I never would’ve guessed the Chancellor was the head of The Order here.”

“Yes well, appearances can be deceiving.” It was only then that she moved her hands together that he’d noticed she had purposely distracted him with her slow turn and posture so she could slice her hand open just in case he was a threat. _Clever girl._ She had tracked his eyes. “Can never be too careful Mr. Duke, but I assure you, I am just planning to heal it. I’m here to help remember.”

She smirked before turning back to her book and resuming the same position she’d been in before. Actually, was she bent forward a little further than before? He was positive she knew he was staring at her ass, but he didn’t care enough to stop himself and she didn't seem to care enough to change positions. He allowed himself several moments to fantasize about what he could do with her in that position against the desk before he approached her to watch her work. He looked down at her profile and saw the half smirk was even deeper than it had been before. Oh yes, she knew _exactly_ what she was doing to him, and he found he didn't really care as long as she kept doing it.

He hadn’t fully trusted her at the time but working and fighting alongside her at the Den fanned the normal hunger in him when he caught site of her around the campus. Her hair had been mused as if she had just been thoroughly fucked after their fight and he was surprised to find he had almost slammed her against the side of the house and ravaged her to see if her hair would still look like that afterwards.

At that memory he smiled to himself, yes, after their time in the vault he could now comment with absolute certainty that her hair that day did in fact look just like it had after she’d been thoroughly ravaged.

He’d been entranced with the glow on her face as the Vade Maecum Infernal burned. He had almost reached for her at that moment again to see if he could muse her hair like it was earlier that day before he shook himself out of it, but he knew there was an intense attraction there and he suspected it might be reciprocated.

Timber must have been paying attention to everything, especially with Lilith’s returned memories to show what kind of woman Vera was. Both Hamish and Vera were strong leaders, both cunning, both willing to make the tough calls, both ready to do anything to protect their subordinates.

Timber must've seen the possibility of another claiming and told Lilith somehow of Midnight and Azure in the hope that Tundra may experience the connection Midnight had. There’s no other reason Lilith would’ve changed her behavior towards someone she loathed so quickly.

And because of them, mostly him for agreeing to Jack’s shortsighted plan, not only had they lost Lilith and Timber, but he'd also wrecked his chances with Vera. At this thought he felt Tundra's irritation with them.

 _‘Fix this_.’ Was the grumbled command Tundra gave before falling back to just the usual presence he felt in the back of his mind.

“So?” Jack asked snapping Hamish out of his thoughts.

“So what? She's still furious with us, more so me. Even if Tundra did decided to claim her at some point, it doesn't mean she would believe it, let alone accept it. She won’t even listen to me as it is, you expect her to believe my Wolf is trying to Claim her? This is _Vera Stone_ we're talking about! Cold, distant and infuriatingly stubborn.”

Even as he said that he winced, both at his words and the irritation Tundra has sent through him. Learning about her daughter and hearing the anguish Jack said he'd felt from Vera he knew why she was distant and cold to others, hiding her pain away from everyone. Hell, even just from their short time together he knew she had a softer side.

He’d seen it when they slept together and again when she’d regained consciousness after Rogwan and met his eyes. He saw her soft smile before she remembered what he'd done and what was going on. She’d pushed him away, but he’d still seen the emotions on her face.

“Can we pretend I didn't say that.”

“Already forgotten. So, is Tundra thinking about claiming Vera Stone?” Hamish paused to really consider.

According to the journal, Tundra wouldn’t care unless he cared deeply for her, chose her as his own mate. Loved her? Did he? At the questions he flashed back through some of their recent encounters.

His lust at their first actual meeting alone after seeing her around campus the last decade and staff meetings, the staff meeting right before term, craving her nearness at their initiation. His awe anytime he saw her performing magic. Barely being able to tear his eyes away from hers to look at the amulet long enough to be able to form a replica, not wanting to leave the room, despite Kepler standing by, oblivious to what was going on between the two of them.

His desire to continue talking to her after she’d complimented his drink, forcing him to blurt the offer to make another one. Those few blissful hours they’d spent together in the vault. The tender coupling they had fallen into without thought, needing to feel her hand in his and see her eyes as she fell apart. The desire to hear his name from her lips and need to please her. How even after multiple times, he wasn’t even close to being satisfied and still needed her like the oxygen he breathed. How everything else faded away when they were together.

The feeling of her resting on his chest and the smooth skin of her back and silken strands of hair his fingers played with as she slept, unable to take his eyes away from her. How right her name falling from his lips felt. The laughter she couldn’t hold in when he'd found _another_ ticklish spot. His almost primal need to mark her and his disappointment when his hard work faded before even leaving the room. The way her face flushed when she was embarrassed and his complete inability to refrain from pulling her into his arms and kissing her deeply.

The desire to abandon the promise he’d made to his fellow Knights and rush back to her and apologize for even thinking about robbing her. His utter fascination as she tried to remain calm and fix _their_ mistakes with Rogwan by trapping herself with him and her willingness to sacrifice herself if it meant defeating him and saving the world. His utter terror when she’d dropped, and he thought she’d been killed.

The relief when he felt her pulse was strong enough to overshadow the fear the demon had brought for just a few seconds. His concern that refused to fade until she’d opened her eyes and met his gaze, confirming she was okay. The thrill when she’d relaxed and smiled when she saw it was him and the hurt when she’d violently shoved him away. The pain and shame when she’d said he’d let her down. Not feeling the slightest need to deny Randall’s teasing comments.

And everything he’d experienced today. The fear when her blood overwhelmed his senses in the car and his pain seeing she was unconsciously hurting herself. The ache when he’d heard her crying on the other side of the door. The remorse when Jack told him what Vera thought he had done.

The complete panic when she didn’t respond to his knocking, and he’d heard nothing and thought something had happened to her. Pain at upsetting her further. The frustration when she refused to listen to him. Anger at himself for not being able to explain himself like he was used to. Pure jealously when she’d mentioned sleeping with others and when Coventry came up.

The absolute desolation when he learned of her daughter's fate and the overwhelming desire to hold Vera and tell her everything would be okay, and she never had to be alone again.

There was no real question other than _how._ How had he fallen for her so fast and not even realized it until this moment.

_‘I’m going to need help here Tundra. You know her, you know how difficult this will be. She’s going to fight us every step of the way so we can’t push too hard. I’m going to need your help there, but I’m going to fix this.’_

_‘Of course you will. You’re_ my _Champion. Don’t mess up again.’_

“Hello…you still with me?” Jack said as he watched the smallest hint of a smile cross Hamish’s face. He looked up and let out a deep sigh as he sat back holding the journal in both hands.

“No, he isn’t thinking about it.” He watched some of the excitement drop from Jack’s eyes before letting the smile break fully across his face. “We’ve already claimed her.” He felt the almost gleeful purr from Tundra as he confirmed the claim out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? A bit of happy Vermish fluff in here, hopefully it was worth the wait?
> 
> And question for you guys, is there anything you would've liked to have seen on the show during that 3 month gap between Alyssa going rogue and the eruptions starting? Other than Vermish bits obviously. Any story lines you wanted to have explored further/or introduction of something else, like other chapters/other mythical creatures of something? I am at the point where I'm starting to draft that time period so I figured I'd ask and see if I can't try to include it. Current thoughts are something happening in/near the German chapter that causes Vera (and Hamish) to investigate, but it's mostly a grey area at the moment.


	9. Veritas is Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally thrilled with this chapter, but hopefully you guys like it.

CHAPTER 9

“Oh shit!” Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Tundra, most Cunning of the wolves and leader of the Knights had actually claimed Vera Stone. After a second Hamish’s words cleared in his mind.

“Wait, ‘we’ as in…” He trailed off as they heard the door start to open, but made it clear he still expected a response.

“Yes ‘we’, as in you were right.” He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face at this realization. Sure it was going to be one of the most difficult things he’d ever done, Vera wasn’t an easy person to get close to, but knowing Tundra was equally invested made him just that little bit more optimistic.

“Did I hear you right just now? Did you just say Jack was right about something… _Jack_?! This I have to hear.” Randall mocked rounding the corner balancing four to-go containers. “Also, burgers anyone? Figured the whole Foley mess and held as a hostage would really work up an appetite.”

As they heard the door close, they realized why Randall had four containers, Gabrielle Dupres was still around.

“It’s nothing. I’ll take one of those.” Hamish stood to assist Randall with his load hoping to keep the new discovery a secret from the cynical wolf.

“Not completely nothing! We just found one of Timber’s old journals, talks a lot about Midnight being a big sap.” Hamish’s glare morphed to gratitude as he realized Jack was saving him from Randall and Gabrielle’s expected badgering.

“Hah, yeah, okay! Blood thirsty, _gut them like pigs and leave their corpses to rot_ Midnight? Yeah, definitely what I’d call a sap.” He rolled his eyes while walking off towards the kitchen for a beer, Gabrielle thankfully following after him.

“Thank you.” Hamish said seriously looking back towards the journal in his hands.

“I’m not going to let him fuck this up for you, you’re doing a good enough job of it on your own.” He laughed as Hamish glared at him again clutching the journal tighter. “So…find the truth statue thing and hopefully fix this mess?”

Hamish nodded resolutely. “And in the meantime, I need to work on showing her I meant what I said.”

“Yeah…good luck with that one.” Jack knew more than anyone what kind of fortress Vera was likely building around herself at this exact moment. He doubted Hamish would be able to weaken it again without some serious work.

“What are you two whispering about?” Gabrielle’s voice right behind them caused both of them to jump. How was she so quiet?!

“Nothing!” She continued staring at them willing them to break until Randall walked back in.

“So, tell me. What made Midnight such a sap?” He tried to reach for the journal while taking a large bite out of his dripping burger.

“You’re not ruining the last journal we have from out predecessors. No, your hands are filthy, you’re not touching it.” Hamish snatched it away twice as Randall attempted to grab it again after the first time.

“Let me see it then.” Randall grinned smugly and nodded his head in agreement as Gabby held out her hand expecting Hamish to hand over the book. “I think I’ve earned it after today, saving you amateurs from Foley _and_ Vera Stone’s bad side.”

“She’s got a point. You said it yourself, she did kinda saved the day.” Jack wouldn’t spill about Tundra and Hamish’s recent claim, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to enjoy watching him squirm.

“Be careful with it.” Gabby rolled her eyes at his command before taking it and starting to read.

“Oh, come on, out loud!” Randall complained with his mouth full to Gabrielle’s disgust. She glared at him and he held up his free hand in surrender before she began reading out loud.

“Wow, that’s really sad. Now we definitely have to rescue Midnight from Foley!” Randall always had a soft spot for the other hide and now knowing of Midnight’s past, he was even more invested in getting his comrade back where he belongs.

“All we need is to find one of Praxis’ members and we can force them to tell us where to find the rug. And all the other stuff from the vault for that matter.” Gabrielle wouldn’t admit that the tragic story got to her. It was just a mangy rug dammit!

“I doubt they’ll spill all their secrets just because we capture them. The one’s we’ve met have been a little on the crazy side.” Jack was remembering the first member they’d gone against, that kind of insane couldn’t be reasoned with and they didn’t usually care when they were captured.

“And that’s why we’re going to force the secrets out of them.” She said as she dug around in her bag.

“The glove you’re so fond of was stolen so...” Jack still took issue with the whole truth torture thing.

“What? No, we don’t need that. After you left and this idiot moved me, almost paralyzing me by the way, I noticed how uncomfortable the couch was. I mean, even with his poor choices you would think he would have at least somewhat comfortable furniture, right? Turns out he’s even stupider than we thought. He stuffed this under the cushions to hide it as if it would go unnoticed by anyone that sat down.”

Jack’s eyes widened as Gabrielle produced Veritas and held it up like a prize. Hamish looked over as Jack leaned forward as if to grab it and realized what it was.

“Excuse _you_! Hands off! I found it and I’ll take it to Vera.” She had snatched it back towards her chest glaring at Jack’s outstretched hand.

“Why haven’t you taken it to her already?”

“We tried, but apparently she’s not seeing anyone. Something about some important treaty or something, no one’s even allowed in the temple until tomorrow.” Hamish and Jack looked towards each other knowing the real reason she’d locked the temple early.

“I have a meeting with her in the morning already, I can take it back for you and make sure you get all the credit.”

“You do…?” Hamish quickly shut Jack’s hesitant question up with a sharp look before turning back to Gabrielle who still needed convincing. “He did make sure we both knew it was you who saved the day today, he’s not going to take credit for finding it.”

“Only because I’m not up early like you because I actually have a life and know the Grand Magus will be happier with it returned as soon as possible. Just know, I already killed one wolf Hamish Duke.” She threatened as she handed the statue over.

“Noted.” He set the statue down beside him making sure it was safe as he started eating his burger. He nodded along as Jack filled Randall and Gabrielle in on what happened at The Commons, thankfully leaving out Vera’s memories. Hamish remained silent focusing as he thought about what he was going to do tomorrow.

Only Jack noticed his hand continually returning to the statue as he was lost in thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	10. Damn Cunning Wolf!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fun one, even if it is a wee bit angsty. 
> 
> Anyone that's still reading should thank Chinadoll00 for her continued support and reviews each chapter. I've been doing a TON of research (seriously, I've learned so much) into German/Norse mythos/history to bring in later, so it's nice to know there's at least one person invested in the story continuing :)

CHAPTER 10

Hamish found himself waiting outside the locked Temple entrance before dawn the next day. He had planned on sleeping a few more hours, but he was unable. Too many haunting images of an anguished Vera alone reliving her daughter’s death over and over again and knowing she was also dealing with the Egregore connection painfully severing like Jack almost had him calling her multiple times just to make sure she was okay.

He gave up on rest an hour ago as he stared at his phone and the fifth aborted dialing attempt. Showered and dressed he grabbed the bag with the statue and started walking towards the temple hoping to catch Vera before the other disciples started streaming in.

Either she would be coming from home, which Jack believed would be the case, or she would unlock the door from inside. Either way he would be the first one to see her. He just hoped she had actually gone home and been able to rest instead of staying in the cold temple alone all night.

Just as the first rays of sunlight started peeking through, he smelled her perfume waft through the air. Turning his head towards the smell he watched as she approached the temple focused on papers she was flipping through. He waited for her to look up, not wanting to startle her.

He watched as the rays danced across her face and was once again entranced by her beauty, so much so he didn’t notice she had gotten so close. Now he regretted not making his presence known early. He pushed himself up from where he was seated and watched as her head jerked away from the papers towards the sound.

Her steps faltered ever so slightly when her gaze fell on him but breathing deeply through her nose, she continued the last few steps, rotating and flicking her wrist to unseal and open the door walking straight through it knowing he was right behind her.

“You’re here early Acolyte.” She had refused to drink last night despite how much she wanted to. She knew it would only put off rebuilding her defenses if she numbed the pain. Now however, defenses rebuilt and patched she made her way towards the bar intent on making herself something to get through the following conversation.

“Allow me.” Hamish’s longer legs allowed him to reach the bar first and started pulling out the ingredients for a _Grand Magus_.

“I’m perfectly capable of making my own drinks.” Despite her protest, she still waited for him to finish.

“Of course you can, but why should you have to?” He smiled as he began peeling the orange. “Grand Magus.” He gave a slight head nod offering the drink and smiling again when she accepted it and immediately took a sip. She watched him over the rim of the glass waiting.

“This is the part where you explain why you’re here Acolyte.” Vera shifted her attention to the bag he had placed on the counter and watched as he pulled out a very familiar statue. Her mouth dropped slightly in shock and looked back towards him for an explanation.

“Gabrielle found it at Foley’s after I left. They went through everything again, but this was the only other thing there.” Vera set her glass down and reached out to pick up Veritas looking it over and remembering just how strong it was.

“Use it on me.” Her head snapped up confused.

“Excuse me?”

“Use it on me. You think I’m lying to you, so use it on me. Jack told me that this forces a person to tell the truth. So, use it on me and you’ll know I’m being truthful.” If she weren’t running on no sleep and weren’t so thrown off balance, she would’ve known the reason and avoided asking her next question.

“And how exactly dose Mr. Morton know this?” The look on Hamish’s face gave her her answer and she kicked herself mentally. He obviously would’ve told him what happened, know your enemy’s weaknesses.

“Right.” Not wanting to show any signs of vulnerability she turned away and started towards her office, statue in hand. She could hear him following behind as she walked towards one of her shelfs to set the statue down. “And did he share anything else with you that wasn’t his business.” She remained facing the bookshelf, pretending to straighten some things when she heard the door shut. Closing her eyes, she took a deep calming breath in an attempt to center herself.

“I see.” She turned to face Hamish, her face giving nothing away but annoyance. “I should’ve known he’d tell all of you.” Walking forward she grabbed her drink back from Hamish, too frustrated to thank him for bringing it in for her. “As I told Mr. Morton, I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m the only one he said anything to, and I don’t think he wanted to reveal anything other than a way that would be able to prove my sincerity. I asked how he was sure it worked and that’s when he told me of its effect on you and what it made you disclose during your meeting with _Coventry_ ” He spat the name out as if it were as rotten as the man.

Vera’s brow raised as she heard the jealous undertones. She was relieved he didn’t seem to know anything other than the bare minimum of her past, but the jealousy meant she could focus on something other than her daughter.

“Is that jealousy I’m detecting from you acolyte?” Brow still raised she kept eye contact as she sat back in her chair with a subtle smirk.

“Of course not Grand Magus, who you wanted to sleep with is none of my business.” Her smirk grew slightly with the slight bite of his words and the way his hands fisted by his sides. Perhaps she could anger him enough that he would stop trying.

“That’s right, it isn’t. Though it is a pity, if he were still around, perhaps everything would still be in the vault. I can’t deny he was completely insane, but Edward _certainly_ knew how to take care of me.” All true statements, even though the meaning was different than what she was implying. If Edward were still around, the wolves most likely would’ve been killed meaning the vault would never have been robbed and in order to prevent Vera from getting in his way, he would’ve had to have someone _take care of_ her. Of course, she wasn’t going to explain that to Hamish.

Hamish was silent in front of her, his eyes were closed, and his fists were almost white. She felt a moment of guilt start to creep up, but she stamped it out before she could tell him the truth. When he finally opened his eyes, she was shocked, and a little frightened if she were being honest, to see his eyes flickering between blue and silver.

“Did you honestly fuck _Coventry_?” His voice was low and hard and if she was hearing correctly accompanied by a slight growl. Not wanting to back down or actually lie, she just glared right back at him with her brow raised in challenge taking a sip of her drink. Hamish searched her gaze hoping to detect some lie, but she was giving nothing away.

Growling deeply, he turned on his heel and stormed towards her office door. Just as he was about to flick it open however Tundra growled at him.

 _‘She didn’t admit to anything. Turn around and fix this now!’_ He froze breathing heavily before replaying the conversation. Tundra was right, clever _clever_ girl. Grinning widely, he turned around and stalked back towards her desk.

Vera looked startled for a second before covering it up with her cold glare. Watching as he placed both palms against her desk and leaned forwards.

“The fact that you didn’t confirm it tells me that you _didn’t_ sleep with him. But what I don’t understand is why you are trying to make me believe you had. Is it because you _wanted_ me to be jealous Vera?”

_Damn cunning wolf!_

“I have no idea what you’re talking about disciple.” _Really Vera? That’s all you’ve got? Pathetic!_ She scolded herself trying to find some defense.

Hamish pushed himself up from her desk, almost prowling along the side and behind it. Not wanting to turn her back on the wolf, she rotated her chair as he closed in on her, only realizing a second too late that she was now trapped between him and her desk.

His hand rose towards the door and twisted, telling her he had sealed it before attempting to remove the glass from her hand. At his amused expression she looked down and realized the glass was empty and there was no reason to fight handing it over. Once the glass was placed on her desk both of his hands dropped to the armrests pulling her chair, and therefore her, closer to him.

She wanted to stand up but doing so would admit defeat in her mind and she couldn’t have that. Instead she crossed both arms tightly and continued glaring up at him.

“Now tell me Grand Magus, what reason would there be to say you slept with someone when you didn’t if not to make someone jealous? And why would you want to make someone jealous if you didn’t want a reaction out of them? What is it you want Vera?”

Hamish hadn’t planned this, again! But seeing her clever twisting phrases did things to him. She almost had him convinced, thank god Tundra had caught that. He felt the slight hum from the wolf at the praise. He found himself being drawn to her neck again and had just started kissing it when he felt her shove him backwards roughly.

“Shit, I’m sorry Vera, I thou…” He was pleasantly surprised when she cut him off abruptly with her mouth on his. He kissed her back just as hard and guided her back towards her desk. He tried to unzip her dress, but she batted his hands away lifting herself until she was sitting on the edge and pulled him towards her by his belt that she was quickly undoing.

“Wait, Vera, we should really tal…”

“Pants off, now.” She ordered between bruising kisses, her hands in his hair pulling almost to the point of pain. He stepped back to undo them watching as she stood and hiked her dress up and removed her panties before sitting back on the desk.

He faltered at the site of her hand moving over herself. God she was gorgeous, even still mostly dressed she took his breath away. Pants and boxers removed he stepped back towards her replacing her hand with his own and watched as her head tilted back in pleasure. He dropped to his knees and started kissing his way up from her knee, but as he got close to her center, she roughly pulled him up.

“No.” escaped her lips before she pressed them to his own to stem any comments he may have. He thought it odd but brushed it off thinking she was perhaps just too wound up. Grabbing her hips, he dragged her closer to the end of the desk and tried to lay her backwards.

“No.” She pushed him back with her hand on his chest with a stern look. He tried to pull back from her, trying to make sure she actually wanted to do this.

“Vera, wait, hold on, what’s going on?” Her finger covered his lips while her legs wrapped around his hips to pull him closer.

“Enough talking.” Before he could respond she pulled his head forward crashing their lips together again. Hamish grabbed her knee lifting her bent leg up to his hip and slowly entered her. When her head dropped back with a muted gasp he reached up and tunneled his free hand through her hair clenching around a fistful.

He lowered his mouth to the sweet spot on her neck, just below her jaw and dragged his teeth across the taunt flesh before sucking deeply. He was disappointed when the only response he got was a cut off gasp instead of the deep throaty moan it usually elicited.

Pulling back, he looked down to see she her eyes shut, and teeth buried deep in her bottom lip. Thinking she was holding back because anyone could be walking by, he brought his mouth back to her neck giving a gentle nip along the corded muscles.

Kissing down her throat towards her chest he tried to guide her onto her back again to have a better angle. Just before her back connected with the desk he felt her hand pushing on his chest again.

 _“No”_ She growled shoving harder until she was upright again.

“Do you not want to do this Vera? We don’t have to if you don’t.” Last thing he wanted was to force himself on her, he didn’t understand what was happening here. She growled again in frustration and shoved him backwards into the chair before climbing on top of him.

If he weren’t so turned on by her taking charge, he may have noticed something wasn’t right, would’ve noticed how she refused to meet his eyes or give in to the sounds he knew she was suppressing.` But when she slid down on top of him and rolled her hips forward while sinking her teeth into his neck all cognitive thought left him. “ _Fuck_ Vera.” His fingers dug into her hips speeding up her already frantic pace.

He heard the choked whimpers coming from Vera as she bit into his shoulder trying to dampen her moans. He brought his hand into her hair pulling back to watch her face. A strangled _no_ escaped as she fought the pull, trying to keep her head buried. This only encouraging him to pull harder so he could see her face to make sure she was okay.

Once her head was drawn backwards his eyes roved over her face seeing her clenched eyes and teeth digging into her bottom lip drawing blood with the force of it. “Open your eyes Vera, let go. I’ve got you. Open your eyes.” Her brow furrowed as she shook her head _no_ slightly keeping her eyes shut tight.

With a quick firm tug she forced her face back to his shoulder and allowed herself to fall into the abyss releasing a choked moan pulling Hamish over the edge with her. She kept her face buried on his shoulder as she caught her breath.

Hamish brought his arms up around her back and hugged her to his chest, felling her shiver slightly he tightened his grip and dropped his head to place gentle kisses on her neck between heaving breaths. Holding her as she came down, he knew something was wrong.

“Talk to me Vera.” His pleading was met with silence as she attempted to push herself off of him. Fearing she was going to retreat he held her tighter, kissing her shoulder once more. “Vera, please. What’s going on?”

“Let. _Go_.” She demanded coolly. She almost gave in multiple times and although she held him back and didn’t completely give up control physically, he was still invading her defenses and finding the weak points. She couldn’t have that; she couldn’t let him in. She waited until he begrudgingly released his grip before standing up and adjusting her dress and hair.

“Get dressed, I have things to do.” Hamish quickly dressed but stayed where he was looking at her expectantly.

“This is the part where you leave.”

“Not until we discuss what just happened.”

“I don’t have time right now, I’m a little busy trying to finish drafting a treaty at the moment.” It was true, Xavier would be there in a few short hours to negotiate terms before signing, but it wasn’t the main reason. She just couldn’t handle him right now. The mental fortress wasn’t as prepared as she thought it was.

 _‘Not now, tonight, away from the temple.’_ Hamish agreed with Tundra. He knew if he pushed too hard, she would shut down completely and wall herself off from everything.

“Tonight then, away from the Temple so we aren’t interrupted and can talk freely without risk of others overhearing.”

“And if I have plans already?” _Don’t call my bluff._

“Do you? I can swing by after if so.” He knew she didn’t, he also knew she knew he knew.

“Very well, I’ll message you later with a time and place, now leave so I can get some work done.” She had half a mind to not reach out but knew he would just continue to pester her until she listened.

“I’ll bring dinner.”

“This _isn’t_ a date Mr. Duke.” She snapped rolling her eyes. But why did the idea send a pleasurable shiver through her?!

“Of _course_ not Grand Magus. Feel free to bring _that_ along if you’d like.” She fought the smile trying to break out at his mock offense and waved her hand unsealing and opening the door, signaling him to leave.

“Until tonight.” He gave the smallest bow before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

Yes, there was definitely something wrong, but today was still progress. And hopefully after tonight things would be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is their date, not date. Will Vera actually reach out? Where will they meet? And will she bring Veritas along?


	11. It's Not a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews last chapter! Made me work extra hard to get this one out to you. This is actually one of my favorite chapters so I hope you like it.

CHAPTER 11

Vera was pleased with the final draft of the treaty drawn up between The Order and The Prometheans. It had taken several hours of back and forth, but now they were in possession of the loom as well a few other rare texts and all she had to give up were a few books she'd already almost memorized. And as a plus, there would be no more attempting to turn her disciples into trees.

She had finished everything on her to-do list almost two hours ago, but not wanting to face Hamish just yet, she had decided to return home and take a long bath with a bottle of wine. It was Saturday after all, she deserved a few hours of peace.

Still, thoughts of their time together this morning crept through her mind as she finished her second glass of wine. She hadn’t intended to sleep with him again, it only made things more complicated. She hadn’t thought he’d be able to decipher her half-truths and call her on them.

And why did he have to go for _that_ spot on her neck? Allowing him to learn her weak points was dangerous. He was able to use them to his advantage, and he certainly had.

She brought her nails up to the spot he had tried to elicit a response from and lightly scratched, remembering him dragging his teeth over it. Alone in the safety of her house she let out the deep low moan she'd attempted to mute fully in her office.

She was trailing her hand down from her chest towards her center, remembering the path his mouth had taken in the vault when her phone pinged. Growling in frustration, she grabbed the device from the side table and brought it to eyelevel.

 _‘I have Italian, where am I going?’_ She bit her lip as she read the text again. She had been so focused on _not_ thinking about the meeting she never decided where they should actually meet and now she had very little time to decide or make up excuses as he already had dinner. Which she knew was the exact reason why he didn’t message her until after he had it.

Dare she invite him to her home? Her fingers traced over her neck again subconsciously and smiled. At the very least he could be useful this evening. She was playing with fire and expecting to get burned.

Address sent, she stood from the tub and stepped out, quickly drying off and throwing on her silk robe. She released the drain stop and made her way to her bedroom, relieved she had pulled her hair up before slipping into the bath. Both her hair and makeup still set from the day allowed her the short time she had to focus on picking an outfit.

She pulled out a deep crimson set of lingerie with black lace trim and straps before deciding on one of her favorite pajama sets to lounge in. A somewhat loose but fitted silk black and grey laced button up collared t-shirt with matching shorts that were mostly covered by the top.

Looking in the mirror, she unbuttoned the top few buttons until she was satisfied with the cleavage she was showing and pulled the tie from her hair, letting it fall around her face. Satisfied with her appearance, sexy but still casual enough to give off the appearance of nonchalance.

The knock sent an unwilling shiver of excitement through her as flashes of where she hoped this night would lead flittered through her mind. She took one last look around her room to make sure nothing was out of place and made her way towards the front door.

* * *

Hamish had started thinking Vera was going to cancel as it got later and later with still no word. When it hit seven thirty, he made his way to the restaurant to pick up his order, deciding to reach out after if he still hadn’t heard from her.

The smells coming from the bags were heavenly, he just hoped the food would be as good as he remembered from when his parents surprised him for an unwanted birthday celebration two years ago. It was really an excuse to lay into him about his failures and life choices, but they knew he wouldn’t allow himself to storm off in the middle of a high-end restaurant.

The food had been so good he almost didn’t care that they were going off on him again for dropping out of law school and how he needed to stop drifting through life and get his act together, find a woman and settle down. He hadn’t found a reason to go back since then though, burgers and bar food were good enough most days.

But when he thought of dinner with Vera, the image of them sitting together in the romantic atmosphere enjoying the wonderful food and wine wouldn’t leave. He only hoped one day, when he gained her trust, that she would allow him to take her there. In the meantime, take away would have to do.

As he pulled up to the address Vera had sent his heart started beating rapidly. He was not expecting she would invite him to her home. He admired the glass walls and large balcony, already deciding to try to convince her to have dinner outside, possibly curl up together in front of a fire.

He watched as a light on the second floor went out and shook the mental images from his mind. He was here to fix things, he highly doubted she would just fall into his arms and play the happy couple no matter how much he hoped she would.

He stepped out of the car, fixing his jacket and pants before he grabbed the bag of food and bottle of wine. He took a deep breath and knocked, keeping his eyes on the bottle of red in his hand to calm the sudden nerves.

The door opening surprised him since he hadn’t heard her approaching. He understood why when his eyes landed on her bare feet. Slowly his eyes traveled up her long, toned legs, eyes widening marginally when he finally saw the hemline of her short shorts. Tearing his gaze away from the alluring site of her in shorts he continued further seeing her matching shirt which showed off her full breasts exquisitely.

“Are you going to stand there starring all night?” her amused drawl snapped his eyes from her breasts to see her knowing smirk. He flushed slightly at getting caught before handing the bottle to her.

“Cabernet Sauvignon, 2009, highly recommended by the head chef at Bella Fiore.” He thought he saw a slight look of surprise cross her features, but she turned around too quickly to be sure. As he followed her to the kitchen he tried to take in the surroundings, but found his eyes continually swinging back to her ass. She needed to wear shorts more often.

“You’re stunning Vera.” It slipped out without his consent as he stepped up behind her and settled his hand over her hip. She was like a fallen goddess that should be worshipped. The clang of the bottle opener landing on the countertop stopped him before he could place a kiss on her neck.

“This _isn’t_ a date Hamish. You wanted to talk, so talk.” Her tone was firm, posture stiff, both hands planted on the counter and head bowed forward slightly. Why was he doing this to her? Why was he so intent on breaking her?

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.” He removed his hand from her hip and stepped away from her, giving her the space she needed. He knew he couldn’t push her.

He’d realized earlier that what had bothered him about this morning, was that she had refused to show any weakness or release any control. He knew it was a defense mechanism, had remembered how hesitant and tense she was at first when he’d crawled on top of her in the vault, only slowly relaxing after several minutes of gentle caresses.

He believed it was because the wall she’d built around herself. She had let him in and shown vulnerability and he turned around and betrayed her. He had to build trust again and he had to go slow.

He walked to stand on the other side of the island and slowly pulled out the dishes he’d gotten. “If you are hungry and would like to talk while we eat, I have Caprese Salad with Pesto Sauce, Chicken Marsala and Tiramisu. If you don’t want to have dinner together, these can go in your fridge and you can eat it later.”

He stepped back from the island and turned to wash his hands, allowing her to call the shots. He obviously would rather enjoy the meal together, but if she wasn’t ready for it, then he wouldn’t push her. Turning around he met her questioning gaze for several seconds before she responded.

“Plates are in the cabinet behind you.” He smiled and turned around grabbing two dinner plates, two salad plates and one dessert. At her raised brow seeing only one dessert plate he was quick to explain. “I’m not a fan of whipped cream, but again, Marco said it was a must. It’s all yours.” He definitely noted the flash happiness in her eyes at that before she covered it up.

“Tell me when.” Hamish instructed as he started dishing out the food, stopping when she held up her hand. “Where would you like to eat, inside or on the balcony?” Again, she hesitated for a brief moment before answering with the balcony, believing the fresh air would help.

After pouring her a glass of wine, he hesitated over his own. Looking up he met watchful gaze again. “Did you bring the statue and do you want to use it?”

“It’s at the temple, but I doubt it would actually have any real effect on you anyways.” She had starred at that damn statue for almost an hour today trying to determine if she should use it or not, but after it backfiring on her the last time, she decided against it.

“If it’s as powerful as Jack said, I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” He had both been wanting her to use it so she would know he was being truthful, but at the same time he worried about revealing how deep his feelings for her ran and Tundra’s claim on her. Both of which he was sure would have her bolting.

“Yes, well as I witnessed with Edward, other magical items can overrule it. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you being a werewolf would probably nullify the effects so I really didn’t see a point to it.” Even knowing they hadn’t slept together, he still felt jealousy bubble in him at the name. The fact that she wanted to sleep with him was driving him a bit insane.

“Would you have sl…” the question was out of his mouth before he realized he had started speaking. Thankfully the last of it didn’t make it out, but seeing the expectant look in her eyes, he knew she wasn’t going to let the question go.

“Would I have what?” She was pretty sure what the question was, but she wanted him to voice it.

“Nothing, it’s not important, shall we?” he grabbed both dinner plates and started towards the balcony. Setting both plates down on the table he leaned forward steading himself before making his way back to the kitchen to grab the other dishes. He hated acting like this, he’d never been jealous in the past, why was it so consuming with her?

Vera grabbed her wine glass resting her hip against the island counter and watched him. She didn’t remove her gaze from him as he walked back and grabbed the last three plates, balancing them on his way back outside. He sat down at the table waiting for her.

Pushing off from the counter, she grabbed his empty glass and bottle of wine in her free hand and followed him out, taking the seat opposite him. She remained silent as she poured him a glass and set it beside his plate waiting for him to speak.

After a few moments of silence, she picked up her fork and started on the Marsala. The second it touched her tongue, her mouth started watering. A small hum of approval in the back of her throat drawing his attention.

“Good?” Her nod of approval was all he needed to pick up his own fork and begin eating. Halfway through their dinner, still quietly enjoying the meal despite the uncomfortable atmosphere, she moved on to her dessert.

Slicing into the tiramisu with her spoon, Vera finally broke the uncomfortable tension. “Not that it’s any of your business, but the answer is no, not willingly.” Her attention was focused on the dessert sitting in her spoon, but she could still see his head raise suddenly to stare at her.

“I knew Edward for years, he always fascinated me, and he wasn’t unpleasant to look at, but still, no. I didn’t have any real desire to sleep with him. It came way too close because of that damn statue; it amplifies everything and even a fleeting thought becomes a big deal. As soon as the effects of Veritas ended, I put a stop to it and left. Good thing too, because just a couple days later he sent Alyssa to slit my throat.” She let out a hallow chuckle before putting the dessert in her mouth.

She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, possibly because it terrified her of just how close she’d come to sleeping with him and how disgusted she was with herself? Because of how relieved she was that the effects ended when they did because she really had no desire to sleep with him and would’ve hated herself afterwards. Or maybe she just needed someone to know she was actually human.

Hamish felt a heavy weight lift from his shoulders at her confession, but when she said Alyssa was sent to slit her throat flashes of Vera with her throat slashed, gasping for breath that couldn’t get through her severed airway plagued in his mind. It was how he’d found Cassie and it was too real, too easy see Vera in Cassie’s place. He couldn’t lose Vera, not like that, not ever.

His vision started to darken and all he heard was a loud whooshing in his ears, his hands and face started going numb as he was pulled into the vision of her bleeding out in his arms unable to do anything to save her, just pleading with her to stay with him. Why couldn’t he save her, why can’t he get any air?! He curled in on himself trying to breathe but oxygen wasn’t filling his lungs.

 _‘Breathe Hamish, this isn’t real. She’s safe. It will never be real; I won’t let it happen. You need to breathe!’_ Tundra’s voice was muffled as if Hamish were trapped deep underwater, but it allowed the panic attack to break up enough that he could hear _her_ voice calling out to him in the distance. He latched on to it, letting her pull him from his nightmare.

The darkness started clearing from his vision, only blurry spots still obscuring her stricken face right in front of him. He threw himself forward, dragging her into his lap fully and squeezing her tightly to his chest as tears leaked from his eyes with shuddering breaths. “You’re okay, you’re fine, you’re safe.” He was whispering on repeat not loosening his hold on her as he buried his face into her neck taking in her scent, calming his suffering mind.

Once he’d calmed and his muscles loosened again, he realized his shoulder was damp and she was hiccupping slightly as she gripped him back just as desperately. He hadn’t meant to upset her; he hadn’t had a panic attack since he'd had to attend Cassie’s funeral seven years earlier. It had come on so fast he didn’t see the signs, he couldn’t stop it.

“I’m sorry Vera, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He soothed rubbing his hand in circles over her back.

“I thought you were reacting to something in the food.” She admitted between hiccups, as if it explained her terror. And because they both knew about her daughter, it did. He tightened his hold on her as she broke down remembering her daughter.

“Oh Vera, I’m so sorry. Seven years ago, I lost someone I cared for, her throat was cut, and I couldn’t save her. She died in my arms and when you said that, I just…the thought of losing you that way or any way Vera…I couldn’t handle it and I panicked. I’m so sorry for worrying you. We’re both okay, we’re going to be okay.”

She allowed him to hold her, unable to remove herself even if she wanted to. Watching as his face paled and he tried to gasp for air was like ice through her veins. She sat frozen starring in horror until he folded in on himself trying to bring in oxygen but unable to do so. She had dropped her wine glass and stumbled over to him trying to force him upright with shaking hands and tears flowing from her eyes.

“Hamish? Hamish, breathe! Not again, please not again! Not you, not like this! _Hamish_! Come _on_ , breathe dammit!” She tried several healing spells, but nothing was working, and her panic was growing. She couldn’t lose him, not like this.

His head shook and he rapidly blinked, his eyes becoming more alert. “Oh thank god, Hamish, you need to breathe okay, please breathe!” Next thing she knew she was straddling his lap and being hugged so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe herself. It still wasn’t enough for her.

Her arms made their way around his neck and back, pulling him tighter to her and dropped her head onto his shoulder and allowed herself to break completely, hoping he would catch her. It was too real, too similar to that night. It was too much for her to handle right now. She just needed to feel him breathing and feel his pulse under her lips confirming he was still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? I hope you liked it!
> 
> I will be adding a few photo links to a couple chapters for anyone that likes to see what I'm imaging.


	12. Hamish Can Cook?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To say thanks for all the wonderful reviews last chapter, here's a nice fluffy Vermish chapter for you.

CHAPTER 12

She woke several hours later when a cool breeze caused her to shiver. In an effort to escape the cold, she attempted to burrow further into the warmth on her front. Breathing deeply through her nose she started drifting back into the darkness.

Another cool breeze skimmed across her bare legs and lower back causing another violent shiver to wrack her body. Huffing in displeasure she dug her face further into the heated blanket she was resting on. It was just as she heard a complaint beneath her that she realized a few things.

One, she didn’t own a heated blanket. Two, heating blankets aren’t this hard. Three, heating blankets certainly don’t grumble. Pulling back, she looked down to find an adorable Hamish looking up at her with heavy eyes, ruffled hair and a sleepy smile.

“It’s still dark, go back to sleep.” He pulled her back down to him and rolled them both, so she was mostly under him but still able to breathe. He nuzzled her neck, placing a quick kiss to it before falling back to sleep.

Vera debating pushing him off of her. She still didn’t trust him completely, but the terror he’d shown last night was real, she’d seen it on her own face too many times after her daughter passed. He cared about her to some degree and he didn't want to hurt her. He'd also held her as she broke down in his arms, finally allowing _someone_ to comfort her over the loss of her daughter. And instead of leaving her alone when she'd fallen asleep, he had moved them over to the couch outside and continued to hold her, even in his sleep.

He had just woken up without any defenses and hadn’t seemed disgusted to be holding his enemy in his arms. He had just smiled up at her and rolled her beneath him to protect her from the elements before passing out again.

She was also still hesitant to let him out of her sights after the scare a few hours ago. So, knowing it could come back and bite her in the ass later, she moved one hand up under his shirt and laid it flat on his back holding him to her. She smiled as he pulled her tighter to him and blew puffs of warm air across her neck as he slept.

“Thank you Hamish.” She whispered lowly, not wanting him to hear. She placed a gentle kiss to his shoulder and allowed his calming breaths to lull her back into oblivion.

* * *

Birdsong gently roused Vera from her dreamless slumber. Slowly attempting, and failing, to open her eyes against the bight rays of sunlight warming her face. A deep chuckle to her left drew her attention. Hamish was propped up on his elbow gazing down at her.

“It’s bright.” She muttered disgusted and rolled into him tucking her head into his chest to block out the sun. She hated mornings. The force of his laughter actually shook her, and she found herself smiling slightly into his chest.

“Half of your house is one giant window, how can you not like the sun?” She made another disgruntled sound trying to hide herself under him further and fall back to sleep. It was way to early to be awake on a Sunday when she didn’t have anything pressing to take care of.

He wound his hand up the back of her shirt to stroke his thumb over her lower back. “How about I make us both some coffee and breakfast while you hide from the sun a little longer?”

“Mmrrrkay.” At that adorable sleepy mumble he couldn’t resist brushing her hair out of her face, much to the protest of Vera, and placing a kiss on her temple. He draped his suit jacket over her back watching as she scooted over to where he’d just vacated, seeking out more warmth.

Not wanting to bother her further, he made his way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Thankfully she kept a bag by the pot, so he didn’t have to go rifling through her cupboards. Coffee started, he opened the fridge and was actually surprised with the variety of items within.

Seeing the eggs, peppers, spinach and cheese he decided you really can’t go wrong with a good omelet in the morning. Rummaging a little further back, he almost did a little happy dance when he found a half full pack of bacon. Just as he was finishing mixing the omelet the coffee finished.

Wanting her to be able to drink it without burning herself, he removed the pot and opened the cupboard next to the ones holding the plates and was pleased to see he had guessed right. Pulling two mugs down, he filled both cups, hers three quarters of the way, just incase she didn’t like it black.

Turning his attention back to the bacon, which needed to be flipped he heard the balcony door slide open and glanced over. Watching her sleep rumpled self, hair tussled, and racoon eyes from day old tear stained makeup walk across the room towards him he fell even harder for her.

“Back with the land of the living I see.” He cringed at the innocuous phrase, remembering last night they had both relieved nightmares of deceased loved ones. Thankfully before he could apologize and make things worse, she continued walking past him towards a room a few doors down, all the while grumbling to herself _’Damn werewolves and their damn morning peppiness.’_ And _‘It’s too fucking early for this much energy’_

“I’ll take that as a no then.” He chuckled to himself and continued making breakfast. He had just finished setting both plates down on the island next to the coffees when he heard the door open and close again.

“Aww, you were so cute with your little racoon eyes.” She had obviously gone to the bathroom and fixed her makeup and hair. Her death glare ended any further teasing on his part. “Actually, was that the bathroom?” At her nod, he quickly dashed off towards it, only just now realizing how badly he needed to relieve himself…and mostly to escape the glare she was still sending his way.

The bathroom was huge and screamed Vera. The ceiling was a deep burgundy, with black trim, the walls were a pale gold with black vines littered with small burgundy flowers. She had a massive clawfoot tub up against the far wall where the black trim came halfway up the wall, off to the right was a walk-in shower with a clear door.

Above the sink was a large oval mirror with lights wrapping around it and laid out on top of the sink was an unopened toothbrush and toothpaste. Looking to the side he saw what he assumed was her toothbrush sitting in the holder, so he rationalized she had pulled it out for him.

He finished quickly and only hesitated for a second when he went to put his toothbrush away. Not surprisingly he usually didn’t stay the night at women’s houses after sleeping together, he never felt the desire, neither did they. That’s what made one-night stands easy, everyone was on the same page.

With Cassie, they both stayed at the den so there was never a question of what to do with his brush. This was different, Vera was different. He would stay as long as she’d allow. He heard the stories about how the placement of a toothbrush can be a huge deal and he was embarrassed to admit he was actually a little freaked with what to do.

_‘Tundra…?’_

_‘Really?’_ Even through the mental connection he felt the wolf rolling his eyes and laughing. More flustered now that Tundra was mocking him, he just decided to place the toothbrush on top of the sink with the bristles over the basin. He dried his hands, took a deep breath and walked out.

He watched Vera pouring herself more coffee, taking note to see how she liked it and was pleased to see she also liked it black. Well that would make things easier. Getting closer he noticed she hadn’t touched her food yet. He wasn’t sure if she was being nice and waiting, or if she just wasn’t interested.

“Thanks for the toothbrush.” He was starting to get a little nervous that she still hadn’t said anything. “Would you like something else?” He indicated her untouched plate.

“Coffee first.” She muttered taking another deep gulp of the liquid before sitting down, pot beside her now.

“I take it you’re not a morning person?”

“Not usually, no.” She finished her glass and poured a third but didn’t pick it up to drink, instead taking a forkful of omelet. “Hmm, it’s good.”

“You seem surprised.”

“You just don’t meet too many students that go to Belgrave that know how to even boil water without the fire department being called.” Okay, that he could understand, it’s why Randall was always ordering out.

“One thing my parents did right. They forced me to attend cooking classes when I was still in high school. Although they don’t approve of me actually cooking, they just wanted to make sure I had the classes in my transcripts. But I enjoy cooking if the ingredients are there and the person eating it would actually enjoy it instead of swallowing everything in one bite or making snide remarks on the green bits.”

“Mr. Carpio?”

“Jack too. Thankfully neither of them knows that I can cook otherwise I’d never hear the end of Randall complaining about how hungry he is every minute of the day.” She felt a small burst of delight realizing he had chosen to cook for her when he hid it from others.

“Well, thank you for cooking.”

“Anytime.” Vera frowned, fork paused for just a second on its way to her mouth. This wouldn’t be a normal thing, he had to know that right?

“This isn’t…last night wasn’t…” She set her fork down and rested her head in her hands. “It wasn’t a date Hamish, we’re not dating.”

 _‘Don’t push.’_ Tundra spoke just before Hamish was about to argue that it had certainly felt like one. Breathing deeply, he set his fork down and turned towards her.

“Okay. Last night wasn’t a date; this isn’t a date. That’s fine Vera, honestly. If you want to go back to the temple tomorrow and pretend none of this happened, I’ll respect that, and I will try to act accordingly.” She still had her head in her hands so he carefully pulled them down so he could see her. Her eyes were guarded, showing hesitation.

“But if you want to see each other outside of the Temple, whether it’s to have a drink, talk or just to relieve stress all you need to do is send a message. You’re calling the shots here Vera, I’m not going to push you for something you’re not ready for.”

“Why are you doing this? The rest of the wolves despise me, why are you here?”

“I’m not the other wolves Vera, and I can say with certainty that Tundra, does _not_ despise you. Neither did Timber, she’s Lilith’s wolf.” Sorrow crossed his features remembering where she was right now. He felt her rest her hand on his knee and give a gentle squeeze before pulling it back to her lap.

Looking back up at her he smiled and continued. “Jack doesn’t hate you by the way. I know you have a soft spot for him. He’s just so focused on the Alyssa rollercoaster that he tramples everything and everyone in his way.”

“And Mr. Carpio? How would he take it if he found out you stayed here last night?”

“Honestly, probably not well. He’s a great Knight, but he doesn’t pause to consider things from other’s perspectives. Although, I noticed after Foley that he has taken a fancy to Gabrielle so maybe he’ll start singing a different tune.”

“Miss. Dupres? The same acolyte who killed one of you?” He winced at that, knowing in order to build trust he needed be honest with what happened.

“Kyle wasn’t really one of us.”

“She said he was a werewolf, are you telling me there’s another set running around?”

“No. He was host to Midnight, but he was never a real Knight.” He could see irritation building on her face and sighed before explaining.

“This was before everything. I was teaching and he came and interrupted the lecture. When I answered the door he stabbed me with some blade and almost killed me, would’ve killed me if Jack hadn’t started reading from the books we had. We knew we couldn’t just kill him; The Order wouldn’t stop hunting us and he knew who I was. To keep the Knight’s safe, Midnight bonded with Kyle to take the fall. We hoped that killing one wolf would halt the search.”

“I didn’t order that, so you know. I wasn’t even on campus. However, I did order the stint with Miss. Dupres after. We were enemies, I had to neutralize the threat.”

“Right, _were_ enemies. We aren’t anymore.”

“To most of The Order you still are, whatever this was or is needs to stay between us and out of The Temple for both our sakes. They want me write something up like I did with the Prometheans. I have to have the draft to the Counsel by Wednesday for any edits. It will need to be signed or they will come after you.”

“I’ll tell the others to expect a meeting to go over a treaty then. Now eat, the foods getting cold.” Hamish tried to keep the huge grin from blossoming on his face. She may not have agreed to future dinners, but she had admitted that there was _something_ between them and hinted that it would continue.

He would count it as a win for now.

* * *

Vera's bathroom; https://wallpapersafari.com/w/XTvFNt 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress is progress. Let me know what you thought. As a little update, I'm planning out up to Chapter 24 now and I'm so excited to get everything actually written out and continue planning.
> 
> Also, funny tidbits; personally I hate breakfast foods, especially omelets and bacon, but usually have all of the ingredients in my fridge to use in other things (why I put in that little bit of him second guessing the dish). I also could not force myself to drink a coffee black...but I couldn't imagine Vera drinking a weakened version.


	13. Praxis Strikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fluff from last chapter, the two of them needed a little break for a bit. I'm not overly thrilled with most of this chapter, it just feels choppy, but I've edited it so many times it was starting to drive me a little crazy and I just had to move on. 
> 
> Also, I apologize in advance for the ending...

CHAPTER 13

Hamish hasn’t heard from Vera since he’d left after breakfast Sunday. It was now Thursday morning and they had failed to bring Lilith home again. He couldn’t focus, believing that Vera was withdrawing again and any progress they had made last weekend would be erased. He’d find himself typing messages on his phone, only for Tundra to stop him from sending them at the last minute, saying he needed to give her time.

His fuse with Randall’s constant barbs at Vera was growing shorter with each passing day and he had finally snapped at him after yet another failed incantation and he'd sent another barb trying to lay the blame on vera. How could he not understand that they were the ones responsible for Lilith being trapped, not Vera? How could he not grasp the fact that they needed to work together with The Order if they had any hope of rescuing her?

They needed Vera to trust them so that she would help them bring Lilith back when the time came. Why did he need to continuously remind the others that she was in charge and not the bad guy here?

Tempers at the Den were running hot for everyone. Randall was irritated because they kept failing Lilith and was feeling the guilt for lying to Nicole in addition to not being allowed to go out and search for Praxis. Jack was pissy because Alyssa was shutting him out again, no surprise there. And then there was him. He was dealing with the two wolves, plus the guilt over Lilith, the threat of Praxis and worrying over Vera.

Which is why when the text came from her to meet at the Temple a surge of relief swept through him. It seemed like the treaty she had mentioned was moving forward at least. He just hoped Randall wouldn’t throw another fit like he had when Hamish informed them to be prepared.

He allowed the other two to read through the document, taking the time to look over Vera. Most of his attention was focused on her plunging neckline and the generous amount of cleavage on display.

“It’s not an amnesty, it’s terms of surrender. We can’t sign this.” Hamish’s attention was drawn away from Vera at Randall’s comment. He knew Randall would find something to be upset about.

“I think you’re overreacting.” Granted, he hadn’t actually read the document, or been listening, but knowing Randall he felt confident the other wolf was overreacting.

“And I think you’re protecting your girlfriend.” _Uh oh_. He thought, gazing jumping to Vera as he stumbled over himself to deny it. But god, did he want it to be true.

“How _dare_ you?” Vera was pissed. Did Hamish tell them they were together? No, she didn’t think so based on the flustered look on his face. It was just _another_ remark by Mr. Carpio meant to get under hers and Hamish’s skin. He doesn’t realize there’s actually something going on between them, he’s just trying to irritate them both.

Hamish wanted to thank Jack when he spoke up to defend Vera and change the topic. But even he had to take a second when Randall read that their hide lockers would be staying at the temple.

“Some of these items are a little extreme…Grand Magus.” She looked both irritated and amused at the same time. Not a good combination for them, but boy did he love it on her.

“The Sons of Prometheus are a separate organization. You are not. Never have been. Before facing Rogwan, you and Miss. Bathory said an oath that sounded familiar. Right there.” _What are you up to Vera?_

“Of defending the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose” Her brilliance never ceased to amaze him! This was their true oath and they had to honor it. The others would have to sign her amnesty to honor their history. She had them even if Randall still tried to argue against it.

Thankfully Jack could see the truth and form a strong enough argument to convince Randall to sign. They were officially on the same side now. They would both be safe from The Order now that she had gotten them to sign. And even Randall seemed mostly okay with their new position. At least he was certainly acting like his old self at the party.

All his worry of Vera pulling back faded when he got her text. She did still wanted to see him outside of the Temple. Not caring about the hairs raising on the back of his neck, he continued blissfully walking towards her house, eager to strip her of the tantalizing dress she'd been wearing.

 _‘Something’s wrong’_ Tundra’s concerned warning caused him to pause and look back after sending a reply only for him to be thrown several feet in the air.

* * *

Vera couldn’t believe Kepler’s new low. Invoking Invocare _just_ as she’s about to track down Foley and get their things back? Striping her of her title and for what? Because she saved two of her disciples?

Did Kepler really think her weak enough to allow the Prometheans access to their secrets? They signed the damn alliance that was heavily in The Order's favor. That alone should prove she was successful. She was furious and stressed and just needed _out_ of this damn Temple and away from Kepler and her fucking incompetence. 

She’d been avoiding Hamish since Sunday, feeling like she had allowed herself to be too weak in front of him and not wanting to appear vulnerable with him again or too needy by inviting him over so soon. But after seeing him today, Mr. Carpio’s comment and everything with Kepler, she could really use someone to go home to, at least for tonight to help her destress.

She heard the steps behind her as she bent to pick up her keys and slowly turned trying to locate the threat. A second later her whole body was in agony. The flames licking their way across her as pained screams were ripped from her.

She had been able to stop the rest of the attack before the pain consumed her completely, but her body and mind submitted to the darkness in an effort to escape from the torture. The sounds of students woke her hours later and the pain lancing throughout her body almost pulled her under again.

Gasping with shallow breaths, she focused on trying to heal herself, attempting to remain as still as possible. It felt excruciatingly slow, but before anyone could check on her, she was up and moving towards the Temple, thankful she kept a change of clothes there. She learned early on that even with the robes, blood sometimes had a way of leaking through.

Starring into the fire, book in hand but unable to remove her gaze from the blazing heat in front of her Vera startled at hearing the door open. Turning she was pleased to see Mr. Morton looking at her with apparent relief. Of course, it’d been for selfish reasons, despite Hamish’s words to her it was clear Mr. Morton only cared she was safe because it meant the wolves were safe.

“Magus? Have you seen or heard from Hamish this morning?” Dread filled her at the question. She had forgotten she’d asked him to come over with the attack and rush to get back to the Temple this morning. If the Knight’s didn’t know where he was, and he hadn’t come to the temple looking for her he was probably…

_No! Stop, don’t do this to yourself. He’s strong, he’ll be okay. Please be okay._

“I’m certain he’s fine.” It was more to convince herself then the other wolf. He would be fine; the others would find him and bring him back. They had to, he had to be okay.

* * *

Next thing Hamish knew, Jack was shaking him awake and giving him his clothes. Jack escorted Hamish out of the apartment, leaving Randall with Foley. Jack knew he had to fill Hamish in on what had happened, making sure to start by saying that although Vera was safe now, that she had also been attacked last night.

Stopping Hamish from charging back upstairs and ripping Foley’s heart out for attacking Vera, Jack explained that they needed to take Foley back to help Vera remain Grand Magus. He didn’t want Hamish or Tundra to be blindsided later with the news and risk a defensive werewolf coming out full force.

Hamish couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. He’d almost been killed already as a werewolf and _still_ he had ignored a threat until the very last moment. And because of that mistake, he hadn’t been able to protect Vera. She could’ve died when he’d been passed out on the couch upstairs.

 _‘Kill him!’_ Tundra snarled in his mind. At this current time, a title meant nothing to the wolf compared to what that man upstairs had done to Vera. He deserved to die.

 _‘After. She needs him returned alive. We need to do this for her. Help me do this for her.’_ Hamish needed Tundra to understand, he didn’t think he had the strength to restrain the wolf if he wanted out.

 _‘If he, or anyone else, does_ anything _to threaten her life again, I will tear their throat out.’_ It was a promise to his Champion to protect his mate and a threat to _anyone_ who dared do her harm.

“Is everyone okay?” Her eyes locked onto his own as they confirmed both were safe. To anyone paying close enough attention it was clear that nothing else mattered to them besides the person standing in front of them.

Thankfully most of the attention was on the man in chains, except for Jack’s, who was one of those people watching both leaders. He quickly broke their moment before anyone else would be able to catch on. They could speak later, when it was safe from prying eyes just looking for an excuse to execute them all.

Being sent away from the Temple before getting a chance to talk to Vera was more difficult than he would have expected. And knowing she was going into the same room as the leader of the organization that sent someone to kill her just hours earlier had Tundra pushing against him, trying to force him to stay by her side.

It was almost a relief when they were being ordered back to the Temple, even if it was because everything was falling apart. He’d at the very least be able to see her again and be there to protect her. Even if Tundra did cause the vote to swing against her, she was kept safe.

He couldn’t be upset with Tundra, there was a clear threat coming for Vera and Tundra was keeping his promise to him to ensure her safety. It’s just, Vera couldn’t, or didn't want to understand the difference between Hamish and Tundra at that moment, and she was back to pushing him away. She was losing something she’d worked so hard for all because of them and she didn’t want to hear anything from him.

It hurt when she’d told him to step back, but he did. He allowed her her space and focused on finding a way to save her from the virus and the council. It was just a wonderful twist of fate that the only other person possibly able to take her title away was killed by the virus because of their stubborn refusal to listen to Vera. It was unfortunate someone else had to die, but it gave Vera her throne back and to him, it was worth it.

Tundra was full on purring, or the wolf equivalent, when she handed the Vade Maecum to them to destroy. He was actually concerned he might be purring himself because of the force of Tundra’s pleasure to see his claimed prove herself to the other Knight’s.

When the book couldn’t be destroyed with the Nephilim tears, she had kept up the farce and hidden the books existence away from everyone. She refused to use it for her own gain and allowed everyone to believe it was gone forever to prevent them trying to locate it and use it. Only when its existence became known did she confirm it and hand it over to them to destroy and hide. The strength she had demonstrated to resist the pull for so long impressed both wolf and Champion.

It was of course short lived. Alyssa had given them a fake and was now their enemy, armed with the powerful grimoire. Hours later and still no trace of Alyssa or the praxis threat had the wolves returning to the Den to start fresh tomorrow.

Hamish sent a text to Vera informing them of their failure to locate Alyssa before attempting to talk with Jack again. He was taking Alyssa’s betrayal hard; he was adamant that they just needed to find her and talk to her. Explain everything and she would listen. Refusing again to talk to Hamish and Randall, Jack left saying he just had a few other places he wanted to check before calling it a night.

“I can’t believe Alyssa would do this. You don’t think she’ll use the book, do you?” Randall was starting to trust Alyssa; despite her many flaws and he just didn’t understand her reasoning.

“I don’t know. Jack says she won’t, but a part of me thinks that’s just wishful thinking.”

“Do you think Vera knew it was fake when she asked us to tear it apart?” Tundra growled in Hamish’s head at the insinuation.

“Why are you so against her? She kept its survival a secret, kept it hidden and didn’t perform anything from it. We would’ve known if she had, the hides would’ve felt it. She asked us to destroy it and _still_ you think she’s trying to use it? You trust Gabrielle and Alyssa, both of which have done more against us then she has and _still_ you can’t see past her ordering our memories wiped! When will you see she did that to protect us?!”

Hamish couldn’t take the double standards anymore. He knew Randall would just continue to argue with him and with Tundra so on edge and close to the surface after everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours, he knew it was for the best to leave before he did or said something he’d regret. Grabbing his suit jacket, phone and his bag he made for the door. Ignoring Randall calling after him.

He wandered deep into the woods for maybe an hour, ignoring the pings his phone was making. After Randall’s third message of asking him to come back for drinks, he muted the message alerts. He stopped and removed his clothing putting everything in his bag and tying it loosely to his calf before giving control to Tundra.

The wolf ran, bag anchored around its calf. Working out his frustration of the days events, throwing fallen logs to clear his way and tearing bark from large trees imaging they were the ones causing Vera to suffer. While chasing a deer, ringing broke through the fog and Tundra released control back to Hamish.

Pulling the phone from the bag he noted he had six missed texts, two of which from the same woman whose image was flashing on his phone now. Quickly answering the phone through his panting, he heard her shaky breathing on the other end of the line.

“Vera? What’s wrong?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I did say I should apologize in advance...Let me know what you thought!


	14. Alyssa's a Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, hit some serious writer's block in planning out the future chapters and wound up having to rework some of the planning for previous ones. 
> 
> Hopefully you like this one, because personally I have fallen in love with Tundra (he's also the one that was cause for the delay because where I'm drafting out he's playing a huge role)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“Are you okay? Vera?”

_“Nothing, I’m fine…I sent a message...can you come over for a second?”_

“On my way, stay where you are.”

He tossed his phone back in his bag and looked around trying to get his bearings.

 _‘I’ll get us there.’_ Nodding to himself, he gave control back to Tundra who took off running towards Vera’s house. He was further away than he wanted to be, but with Tundra, they would get there soon. He just hoped he wouldn’t be too late.

Tundra burst through the woods lining Vera’s backyard, but didn’t slow down. He had her scent now and was focused on getting to her. _There!_ She was standing beside her car, looking like she was going to bolt.

He charged towards her, not noting the look of fear that bloomed across her face as he ran straight for her. He didn’t slow until he had her backed against the car, and then he turned and stood, growling in all directions looking for the threat.

He smelled Alyssa, and Salvador, lingering in the air which caused him to snarl deeper and drop to all fours slowly stalking towards the scent. A twig snapped behind him off to his left and he turned releasing a deep growl, saliva dripping from his canines.

Both of Vera’s hands raised, eyes widening as the wolfs attention refocused on her. She knew this was Tundra, she’d fought alongside him and seen him earlier today in her office but being the focus of a giant snarling werewolf would frighten anyone. Tundra, seeing there wasn’t a threat, turned back towards the house and resumed his prowl.

“Tundra?” Tundra’s ears flattened, head turning towards Vera who was slowly approaching, reaching a shaking hand out. “No one’s here, she came earlier in the day, but she’s long gone.” Tundra grunted, huffing deeply to confirm the words. The scent was weak, hours old. 

Vera watched as the wolfed huffed, sniffing the air before the tension subsided from its body. Hand still outstretched she flinched slightly as the wolfs fur brushed her hand. Without thinking, she carted her hand through the fur at its neck, just behind his ear. It was silky but wiry on top with a soft undercoat, like the coat on a large winter breed dog.

She was so caught up in the feel of the fur, she hadn’t realized the wolf had gotten closer to her, rubbing himself against her side rumbling in pleasure, causing her to stumble back a step with the force. Chuckling slightly, she raised a brow.

“So, it’s a weak spot for both of you I take it.” She was still gently laughing when the fur melted away revealing a naked and blushing Hamish.

“Umm…sorry about him…he’s not used to people petting him.” His hand came to brush stray leaves out of his hair.

“He seemed to like it?” That was supposed to come out more confident than it had, but she wasn’t an expert on werewolf behavior. Maybe the wolf was warning her to stop and trying to push her hand off?

“Oh, believe me, he liked it.” It was out of his mouth before he could stop it and he felt Tundra laughing as he flushed deeper realizing his state of undress. He bent down to retrieve his clothes and was just about to pull his pants over his boxers when she stopped him.

“Would you like to clean up first?” He could tell she wasn’t judging him or disgusted with the dirt caked on him from Tundra’s time in the woods. She was just trying to make him comfortable.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” He tossed his pants back in the bag and picked it up.

“After you.” Vera waved, imitating him from that day in the vault and he couldn’t suppress the moan when she openly made a show of checking him out as he started towards the door. He froze when he saw it was blasted from its hinges, waiting for Vera to get closer to him.

“Miss. Drake I’m guessing.” She said stopping behind him, trying to gain strength. Her home was private, and it had been violated by one of her disciples.

“Salvador was also here, based on the lingering scent they were here together.” He didn’t want to worry her further, but the fact was Alyssa was probably working with Praxis now.

Great, she thought. Not only did someone she viewed as her protégé break into her home, apparently the people that had just tried to kill her had as well. And they were now in possession of one of the most dangerously powerful grimoires ever created.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to go in when she’d gotten here, but now was even more hesitant, some irrational fear that the second she stepped over the threshold they’d be back to finish the job.

Hamish picked up on her reluctance and stepped back, dropping a hand to rest on her lower back. “Would you be okay if I stayed tonight? They’re still out there and I’d rather you weren’t alone if they decide to come back.” She hadn’t wanted to ask, feeling weak but she was hoping he’d stay.

The fierce look on his face as he tried to convince her to allow him to stay soothed her fear and she unconsciously leaned forward and kissed him gently before pulling back and nodding. After fixing the door, she tried to pull him towards the bathroom, but he hesitated at the opening.

“Can we just do a quick check of things first.” Tundra was still unsettled and when Hamish saw the disarray of all of her things, he just needed to make sure everything was safe before he let his guard down. She gave a small smile, rolling her eyes for show, before walking him through the house.

Vera blushed slightly when they passed her newspaper clipping about winning a scholarship, but he just looked at it with awe before continuing on. She had expected at least some teasing about being dubbed Potato Queen, everyone always had something to say about it instead of focusing on the scholarship part.

When they came to her bedroom she hesitated slightly. Every other room was torn apart with her things strewn about all over the place, but she kept things in her room that only she would be able to see. Besides her personal items and lingerie, there were two boxes she kept under her bed.

One was filled with a items of Alexandra’s that she hadn’t been able to bring herself to part with such as the blanket she had knitted for her and taken all of her monthly growth pictures on. The outfit she had worn when they left the hospital. Ally’s favorite stuffed dog her godfather Thomas had gotten for her. And the most adorable little hand and footprint painting Ally’s godmother Maya had helped her make Vera for Mother’s Day.

The second was filled with pictures. Her and her parents before they abandoned her, of her when she was pregnant with Ally and after her birth, her old neighbor’s Maya and Thomas and their happy faces as they visited her in the hospital after the birth or when they Celebrated Vera’s birthday. The matching Thanksgiving hats, also in Ally’s box, that Maya had forced them all to wear because ‘ _Ally’s first Thanksgiving was a huge deal and they were just too adorable!’_

She didn’t want Hamish to see those items. She didn’t want to see pity in his eyes.

“What’s wrong Vera?” She looked back at him with slightly wide eyes and opened her mouth a few times before words formed.

“Wait here for a second.” He wanted to pull her back to him, not wanting her to enter the room before he knew it was safe, but he also knew she could handle it and whatever was behind the door she needed to handle on her own. Nodding his head, he turned around and waited while she rummaged around on the other side of the room until she told him it was okay.

She was right. The pictures and items were all over her bed, almost all facing upwards as if Alyssa had deliberately laid them out to cause Vera pain. As she carefully picked them up, placing them back in their boxes she fought the urge to look at them, knowing Hamish was waiting outside the door and would hear her if she started crying.

She walked over to her dresser and tucked everything back in it before letting him know he could enter. It was still a mess, but so was the rest of her house at the moment. She sat down on her bed and let out a frustrated sigh.

Satisfied that there weren’t any magical traps around the room Hamish walked over to Vera on the bed. “We’ll clean this all up tonight.”

“Just focus on yourself. I can handle it.” She snapped looking beyond exhausted and stressed. He didn’t want to leave her to handle this on her own.

“Or, what if I take a quick shower and tidy the living room and kitchen while you relax in that giant tub of yours with a glass of wine?” That did sound nice, especially after the day she’s had. And seeing as they already fixed the door and the mess wasn’t going to get any worse she figured she earned a night of relaxation.

Standing she walked over to her closet and pulled out a rich blue silk nightdress with black lace trim on the top and bottom with a matching silk robe. Items in hand she turned back towards Hamish to indicate they leave the bedroom, but his eyes were glued to the clothing in her hand.

Her eyes flicked down towards the front of his boxers and smiled at the reaction she was able to instill in him. Turning around without saying a word she started towards the bathroom adding extra sway to her hips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a lot of Tundra's animalistic actions I took inspiration from my dog (Great Pyrenees) so hopefully people are okay with how I wrote him.
> 
> I think technically they don't find out Alyssa is with Praxis until after the 3 month gap, but I thought it was unrealistic so I had Hamish find out now. Can you tell I'm not the biggest Alyssa fan? 
> 
> You guys should like the next few chapters, lots and lots of Vermish with some angst sprinkled throughout :)
> 
> Let me know what you thought?


	15. His First I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a thank you for the reviews, here's a chapter full of fluff, with only a little bit of angst. 
> 
> I was concerned I wouldn't be able to post till tomorrow (at least). We had a freak storm roll in around 2pm (the main cell tower and a bunch of powerlines were down, my sister had a tree fall on her garage and her porch which totally sucks, but thankfully everyone including the pets are safe!). But I've been without power for the past 8 hours and was just about to call it a night when it finally came back on.

She was bent over the tub testing the water temperature when the door shut, his heavy breathing the only sound accompanying the water.

She smiled to herself and leaned further over the tub to push the stopper down. His hands settled over both her hips and he pulled her back allowing her to feel the effect she was having on him.

“Do you have any idea of what you do to me every time I see you like this? How close I came to pushing you forward against the desk in our basement and every time since?” He ground into her again grazing a hand up her side to cup her breast through her shirt, disgruntled it was tucked in and he couldn’t make contact with her skin.

“And if I do?” She stood up, sliding against him as she allowed her head to drop backwards and to the side granting him full view of her long neck. She waited until she felt his breath graze over her skin before turning and pushing him back with a smirk on her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be taking a shower?” She stepped out of reach and walked towards the cabinet to pull out some bath supplies.

“Don’t you think you need one too?” She turned sharply to look at him incredulously only to fight herself from laughing out loud at his horrified face. “That didn’t come out right. I’m not saying you need to shower, you smell fantastic right now…not that you don’t always smell great…wait, I don’t make a habit of smelling you…it’s just, you have a very unique scent that I could…” Hamish huffed, blushing deeply watching the humor rising on her face and hearing Tundra’s rolling laughter as he continued digging himself deeper, offering his champion no support whatsoever.

“I only meant, it’s been a long day and showering before a bath is always preferred.” He defended his reasoning and she couldn’t hold the chuckle back anymore. Taking pity on him, Vera walked forward, kissing him firmly. She trailed her hand up from the hem of his boxers to rest her palm on his chest, pushing him back and towards the shower.

“You start, I’ll grab a bottle and join when the bath finishes filling.” She was still chuckling to herself as she walked out of the bathroom towards her kitchen. She was beyond irritated when she noticed they’d drank her favorite bottles of wine but thinking about what was waiting for her in the bathroom at this exact moment she brushed it off and opened a different bottle. Grabbing two glasses she made her way back towards the bathroom.

Vera poured them both a glass as she waited for the water to finish and took a generous swallow before undressing and placing her clothes in the hamper. She was just turning off the water for the bath when the shower door opened.

“Perfect timing, get over here.” She turned her head towards his, slowly standing in challenge at the demand.

“And if I don’t? The water for my bath has just fini _shed!_ ” Hamish had come out of the shower and grabbed her low around her waist before hoisting her up into his arms, forcing her to wrap her legs around him. “Hamish, put me down!” She didn’t actually want him to, his ability to lift her without any issue sent arousal running through her.

“Shower first.” He muttered between kisses against her throat as he stepped back into the shower, balancing her with one hand while he shut the door. Vera felt the cool tiles against her back as he pushed her against the wall so he could free up a hand to stroke over her breast, feeling the hard peaks beneath his palm.

Focusing on _that_ specific point on her neck he was rewarded this time with the deep graveled groan she had deprived them of in her office and it sent his hips rocking into her. Dropping his hand to graze over her center he moaned almost as loudly as she did when he felt how slick she was.

Positioning himself at her opening he pulled back to look into her eyes, pleased to see her starring back at him, her mouth parted in pleasure as he entered her in one long thrust. Her breathy moans growing louder with each thrust he delivered. Feeling his release closing in, he hiked one of her legs into the crook of his elbow to allow him to delve deeper, reaching that sweet spot the had her flying over the edge, releasing his name in a deep rasp.

“Perfection.” He mumbled in awe as she tightened around him. He held out for a few more thrusts, prolonging her high before dropping his face into her neck as ecstasy claimed him.

Vera was on cloud 9. She had never been with anyone that was strong enough or that she trusted enough to do this with. Being fucked against just a regular wall was something that usually required more trust than she would grant someone. But to allow Hamish to do this in the shower?

She must’ve been crazy. If she weren’t so turned on, she probably would’ve stopped it, but she is thrilled she hadn’t. He did not disappoint, and he most definitely didn’t drop her. Even now his arms weren’t shaking the slightest amount. She leaned back and stroked over both of his arms, biting her lip as they flexed. Yes, she could get used to doing this in the shower, at least with him.

He slowly set her down in front of him, kissing her deeply the entire time. “Turn around?” She was still in a state of bliss as she turned leaning back against his hard chest, eyes closed wanting to hold onto the ecstasy a bit longer.

Hamish squeezed out some of her shampoo and began lathering her hair, enjoying her hums of pleasure. He repeated the steps with her conditioner, breathing deeply when it was rinsed. He would never tire of this scent. Hamish took her loofa and loaded it with her shower gel before gently trailing it over her body.

He made sure to pay thorough attention to her sensitive breasts, twitching against her lower back as she gasped and leaned into his tough, dropping her head onto his shoulder. He took advantage of her tantalizing neck on display and drop his mouth to it, sucking deeply eliciting another pant from her as she brought her hand up to trail through his hair and hold him there.

He dropped the loofa and pinched her breast with one hand while his other dropped and moved over her center. Her grip on his hair tightened as her whimpers grew trying to apply more pressure. Hamish encouraged her to step forward, widen her stance and lean forward slightly, lifting her free hand and placed her palm flat on the wall of the shower.

Once he was satisfied, she wouldn’t slip, he bent his knees and entered her slowly. The new angle drawing gasps from them both. He wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her firmly back up against his chest, the other hand continuing its slow torture on her clit.

“Fuck!” He was thankful her arm was bracing herself at that moment because her curse sent off a primal response in him and his slow pace became frenzied and almost ruthless in an attempt to repeat the response. “God yes, right there Hamish, _fucckk”_ Her long low curse as she fell apart accompanied by her nails biting into the back of his neck had him biting into her shoulder as he came.

The taste of blood broke through the fog first and he looked down to see he’d broken the skin on her shoulder from his bite. “Shit, sorry, I got carried away.” He brought his hand up ready to heal the mark, but she stopped him.

“It’s fine, it’s not that bad.” She liked it, a lot more then she would ever admit. She was sure she would heal it before it left a scar, but at least for right now, she wanted it there. Some primitive desire to have him mark her with something lasting. She of course wasn’t going to tell him that, he already had a tendency to leave her neck covered with hickys. Thank god she had magic, she hated turtlenecks.

He turned her head towards him to look into her eyes, making sure the mark hadn’t upset her, nor the brutal pace he’d set. All he saw was satisfaction before she closed the distance and kissed.

“Bath.” Vera muttered as she stepped forward, faltering slightly as he slipped out of her, causing a shiver to travel her spine. Hamish would’ve teased her if that same tremor hadn’t gone through him as well.

He was about to leave her to relax when he noticed two glasses. Looking over at her as she grabbed her glass and stepped into the tub leaning back and closing her eyes. “This is the part where you get in.” It was more romantic than he expected she would’ve wanted, but he wouldn’t question it, not after the day they had. Not with how much he wanted it.

Careful not to step on her he got in and slowly relaxed against the opposite side. He’d actually never taken a bath before, well not since he was a kid that is. Sitting in hot water just seemed boring to him. This however was something else entirely.

Watching as Vera completely relaxed, eyes closed and sipping her wine, he found he couldn’t look away. He dropped his hand into the water locating her ankle and slowly pulling it into his lap as she watched him with half lidded eyes that closed delightfully as he pressed his thumb into the sole of her foot working the tight muscles.

Once he was satisfied both feet were sufficiently massaged, he started up her calves. It was just as his hand grazed over something rough along her shin that she flinched, eyes opening wide in pain. He pulled her leg out of the water to see a burn mark roughly an inch long. She quickly reached forward and healed the spot before focusing her attention on pouring herself another glass of wine.

Hamish brushed his thumb over the now healed section of skin before looking at her. “What happened?”

“Foley” She waved her hand trying to dismiss the subject.

“What did he do to you?” her eyes snapped to him. She could definitely make out the hint of a growl to his words this time.

“It was just a little fire…”

“He set you on fire?” She yanked her leg back towards her chest when she saw his eyes glaze silver.

“I’m _fine_! I don’t need _you_ looking after me. I can take care of myself! Besides, what about you?” She didn’t need someone worrying over her, she was perfectly capable of looking after herself. _He_ was the one that needed to be rescued

“What about me?” he snapped back at her, believing she was trying to change the subject to minimize the danger she was in.

“You were also attacked! No one knew where you were or if you were even still alive!” He could see the slightest hint of panic around the edges of her eyes as she shouted at him. Tundra backed down quickly, there was no threat to her here.

He held up both hands to placate her. “You’re right. I ignored the threat coming up on me because I thought no one could hurt me since I’m a werewolf. I was drunk and cocky. I won’t be making that mistake again. I actually decided earlier to stop drinking to ensure I won’t be caught unaware again. I will be fine.” He watched as she calmed, slowly stretching her leg out again and allowing him to continue the massage.

“Does it bother you that I’m drinking?” She wouldn’t stop, but she could at least respect his choice and limit herself around him if he needed.

“No, and I still plan to make you drinks anytime you’d like.” He said moving forward so he could reach her thighs.

“Mmmm, good, I’d hate to break in a new acolyte.” She teased before pressing her lips to his.

Hamish growled slightly as he pulled her into his lap fully, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. He fisted his hand in her hair and tugged her head backwards marking her neck deeply while his other hand found its way to her center and he slowly pushed two fingers into her.

“Yes” She panted as his hand pulled her head back further giving him free range of her neck, adding a third finger, his thumb rotating roughly over the bundle of nerves. Just as he felt her walls begin to flutter and a whimper break from her throat, he pulled his fingers out of her gaining a ferocious gasp from Vera at having been so close and being denied.

He forced her head level with his as he lifted her and guided her down his length roughly, watching as she shattered around him. He continued guiding her, intoxicated by the way their desperate moans bounced off the bathroom walls. He heard her whimper again and knew she was close to breaking.

He brought his thumb back to her clit desperately working it and trying to hold himself back. His name fell from her lips in a strangled sob and he couldn’t hold back anymore. With his sharp tug on her hair and her name a whisper on her lips she felt herself following him over the edge.

She collapsed against his chest. The day’s events finally taking their toll on her spent body and she was lulled into a wakeful slumber. She was vaguely aware of him lifting them from the tub and being dried off before being carried to her bed and laid under her covers.

She woke later to him crawling in beside her and she rolled towards him smiling sleepily as he pulled her closer before passing out again.

* * *

Hamish felt her go limp in his arms and knew she was basically dead to the world. Gently easing them out of the tub, which would’ve been impossible if he weren’t a werewolf, he wrapped her in a fluffy towel as she leaned heavily into him. He carefully dried her off completely before carrying her bridal style towards her room. One day perhaps.

He used his foot to push the covers out of the way before setting her carefully on the bed and covering her up, watching with a small smile as she snuggled into the blankets with a sleepy sigh. These moments gave him hope. She had to at least subconsciously trust him to show such a vulnerability like this. He knew if she wasn’t comfortable with him, there was no way she’d give in to her exhaustion.

He walked back to the bathroom to drain the tub and hang the towels. He was dumping his glass of wine down the bathroom sink when he noticed it. Her toothbrush holder now held two brushes, the one he clocked as hers last time and the one she’d given him.

He knew he shouldn’t let it go to his head too much, but he couldn't help it. He felt a swell of affection for the woman passed out upstairs. She deliberately placed it there instead of tossing it, meaning she expected he would need it again. That he would be staying over again.

He quickly brushed his teeth before he finished cleaning the bathroom. The glasses and empty bottle were brought to the kitchen sink, and he washed both glasses and the dirty dishes Alyssa and Salvador left before drying his hands.

He checked over all the doors before heading out for Tundra to do a quick patrol to make sure no one was lingering near her house. Catching no new scents, he returned through the front door and sealed all the entrances magically.

Hamish grabbed his bag of clothes and decided at the last second to check his messages. No longer worried about snapping at the other wolves.

The last message from Randall showed how worried he was, saying he was going to start looking for him soon if he didn’t answer his damn phone. He felt a little guilty, he _was_ just abducted last night, and it wasn’t like him to not answer his phone for hours.

Thankfully it had only come in a few minutes ago. He sent a quick message saying he was fine and that he’d be back sometime tomorrow. The ringing started immediately after he hit send, filling the silent house. He quickly answered it, hoping the shrill ringing didn’t wake Vera.

 _“HAMISH?! Is that really you?”_ Randall’s shout cut through the silence.

“Jesus, Randall, are you trying to blow my eardrums? Yes, it’s me, I’ll be back at some point tomorrow.”

_“Why are you whispering? Is someone after you? Are you hiding from them? Do you need backup?"_

“Everything is fine. Alyssa is working with Praxis, both her and Salvador broke into the Grand Magus’ house. I’m crashing on the couch to make sure they don’t come back and attack when Alyssa reports back that Foley _didn’t_ kill Vera when he blew up.” Mostly true…but he didn’t want to get into it right now with Randall.

 _“Right…on the couch. Well don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, that includes teacher.”_ And the line went silent. Hamish rolled his eyes, turning his phone on silent and made his way back towards her bedroom, bag of clothes in hand.

He set his phone on the side table and carefully crawled in beside her, unfortunately waking her as she was such a light sleeper. “Shh, go back to sleep.” He whispered and couldn’t help the content sign as she snuggled against him. He pulled her fully into him and planted a kiss to her forehead.

He laid awake for the next fifteen minutes, just watching her face as she dreamed and running his fingers gently over her spine. “I love you.” He whispered just before he let sleep claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it cool if I did a happy dance multiple times during this chapter, especially when Hamish uttered those words, because I definitely did! And I just totally see Vera being basically a cuddly puppy when she's in her sleep/post-sex trance.
> 
> And just to give you guys an idea of where I'm currently at with the story, I drafting out (bulleted notes) chapter 34 now and there will be several more after that...I'm hoping you like what I'm doing for the 3 month gap because I am SO excited to get there and actually write everything!!


	16. I Want to Forget, Just For Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews on last chapter, they made my day! The entire time I was at work today all I could think about was this chapter and started writing as soon as I got home. I hope you like it!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Hamish was woken well before dawn when he felt Vera jerking violently in his arms. He opened his eyes a few times and gently tried to shake her out of her obvious nightmare before a sudden force knocked into him and flung him from the bed onto the floor.

Worried something was wrong, he sat up quickly, looking over the edge of the bed to see Vera was awake. She was sitting with knees drawn up and both hands on either side of her head clutching her hair tightly. Her eyes were shut tight and her breathing erratic. He felt Tundra pressing against him at the possibility of a threat but quieted him as he recognized the signs of a vivid nightmare still gripping her.

“Vera?” Hamish called quietly while staying where he was, not wanting to frighten her further. He was pretty sure she didn’t realize he was there and hadn’t meant to throw him out of the bed. Based on the state he was observing he assumed she had somehow unconsciously released a wave of magic to repel whatever was haunting her in her dreams.

Vera’s eyes snapped open when Hamish spoke, but it took her several seconds to get her bearings and realize the nightmare she was having wasn’t real and to actually turn her head and look at him. Seeing his eyes watching her with deep concern had her releasing a shaky breath as she dropped her head onto her drawn up knees.

He was safe. Praxis hadn’t come back during the night. They hadn’t woken her in a paralyzed state, able to see and feel everything but unable to do anything. Hamish’s terror filled dead eyes staring back at her wasn’t real. No one had attempted to force themselves on her restrained body as she starred at his bloodied corpse knowing they would undoubtedly kill her once they’d had their fun.

He was alive. He was safe. She was safe. But she had lost control again and he had taken the brunt of her unconscious magic. What would’ve happened if she hadn’t focused on throwing the dream attacker back and instead had tried to hurt him? What if she had tried to kill him and killed Hamish instead? At that thought an anguished gasp broke from her throat as she hugged tighter to her legs.

She could’ve killed him. It wasn’t safe for him to be here, be near her when she wasn’t in control. She was haunted by too many things and her dreams were unpredictable. Ever since she’d cast the Fors Factorum in an effort to defeat Rogwan she would wake to her room in complete disarray whenever she’d had a particularly bad dream.

She felt the bed dip and flinched as his hand settled on her bare back. “Don’t.” Her voice rasped brokenly. She felt the weight start to lift and fought the desire to follow the warmth and just collapse in his embrace.

Hamish watched as Vera attempted to curl in on herself, she didn’t want comfort from him, not right now. Whatever she was dealing with at the moment she couldn’t handle his concern for her. Sighing deeply, he leant forward and gently cradled the back of her head and placed a kiss to the side before pulling back.

“I’m going to make us a cup of tea.” He didn’t wait for a response from her, slipping off the bed before heading towards the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth. He thankfully was able to quickly locate the chamomile tea he’d seen last weekend and quietly went to work on making two cups of the calming liquid.

When he heard her coming down the steps, he forced himself to not look up, knowing she would speak if and when she was ready. He braced himself on the counter when he heard her retreat back upstairs after she’d gone to the bathroom. Fighting his desire to just wrap her in his arms when she was like this was harder than he’d ever imagined.

He just wanted to assure her that everything would be okay and never let any more bad happen to her, but he knew she wouldn’t have it. The second he tried; she would revert to the cold façade everyone else saw.

Breathing deeply, he grabbed both mugs and made his way towards her room. His steps faltered and he almost spilled the hot liquid all over himself when he stepped over the threshold and looked up.

She was sitting sideways on her bed wearing the blue silk robe she’d pulled out before their shower last night. It was loosely tied, and the front was opened enough to tell him she still wore nothing underneath. One of her legs was drawn up so the heel was resting atop the bed as she focused on rubbing lotion onto it.

* * *

Vera stayed in the same position, having almost broken down when he’d kissed her. She was grateful he hadn’t pushed but at the same time after he’d left the image of his cold dead gaze and bloodied corpse wouldn’t leave her mind. The more clear his gaze became the more nauseated she’d become knowing she could’ve easily made that part of her nightmare a reality.

She quickly threw herself off the bed as she’d released the meager contents off her stomach. She felt the burning in her eyes with the dry heaves that followed afterwards. Vera snapped her fingers removing the mess before taking deep breaths through her nose to try to calm herself. She needed to get herself under control before he came back, she refused to let him see her like this.

Teeth clenched, she pushed herself onto slightly shaking legs and grabbed the robe by the side of her bed, smiling slightly at the thought that Hamish must’ve brought it up for her after the bath. Focusing on the image of him in front of her in the bath helped to remove the haunted image of her nightmare and she found herself able to breathe easier as she made her way to the bathroom.

Vera pulled her hair back into a low bun before turning the tap on cold and filling her hands. The icy water felt amazing on her face, almost as if it was chasing away the hellish dream by temperature alone. Hands no longer shaking she focused on removing the acrid taste in her mouth and took in her appearance.

Her face was paler and her eyes redder than they should be, but they didn’t hold the tormented look she was positive was there when she’d awoken. Her gaze flickered down to the bruises on her neck and the bruised edges of the bite mark on her shoulder. Tracing the outline of the bite with her finger she shuddered as the memory of last night flooded her mind.

No man had ever taken such an interest in her neck, or her really, before Hamish and only one had ever tried to mark her, it hadn’t ended well for him. And yet, she found herself putty under Hamish’s ministrations, craving another bruising mark to mar her skin. She had allowed him to leave a mark on her, had even stopped him from healing it last night and found herself finding an almost peace in it now. It anchored her to the present, made the nightmare fade because this mark was real and the man that made it could be heard down the hall.

Grabbing her lotion, she went back to her bedroom knowing he would follow. She didn’t want to face the rest of the house yet having just chased the last of the Praxis induced nightmare from her mind. She would wait until the sun was out at the very least.

Vera had just started on her second leg when she saw him enter her room and freeze. She smirked and lent forward more allowing the robe to slip lower off her shoulder where it pooled in her elbow. She finished with the lotion and was disappointed to see he was still standing in the doorway. She could tell he wanted her, but his face also looked pained.

“Are you just going to stand there?” She turned to face him, one shoulder, the one with the bite mark, still bare. She thought seeing his mark on her would be the spark he needed to move, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. His eyes zeroed in on the broken flesh and though she clearly saw deep arousal flash across his face it was overtaken by a dark look as he continued to stare at what he’d done.

As his stare became darker Vera found herself wanting to squirm. She didn’t of course, but she was no longer enjoying his watchful eyes on her. Reaching over with her other hand, she drew the robe up and over her shoulder and retied the knot, sealing her body from his gaze.

Unwilling to sit and wait for him to make some decision, she stood and grabbed one of the mugs, quickly smelling the liquid before taking a sip. It wasn’t exactly how she preferred her tea, but it wasn’t terrible. Still she found herself setting the mostly full glass down on her nightstand as she climbed back in bed and laid down.

“You can go now.” It was a clear dismissal; they both knew it even though neither wanted it. Hamish isn’t sure what he did that had her close off so fast, but he thinks it had something to do with his reaction to seeing the damage he’d inflicted on her.

He hated that he loved to see the purple marks on her neck, but the lust that shot through him when he saw the inflamed bite on her shoulder sent a wave of self-loathing through him. He had lost control and hurt her, actually marred her perfect skin and seeing his handiwork had almost made him loose control again.

The heat from the mugs in his hands reminded him of why they were both awake before dawn and he hated himself for thinking about fucking her when she was suffering. He knew she didn’t want to talk about whatever it was that had woken her, and possibly wanted a distraction, but he was angry with himself for allowing a mark that was only present because he’d lost control and hurt her turn him on so much.

Hamish quietly walked over to the side of the bed and sat, setting his glass beside hers. She didn’t turn towards him, but he hadn’t really expected she would. Gently gathering her hair, he swept it over her shoulder and tugged the robe down slightly to reveal the mark. His fingers traced it lightly and he watched as goosebumps followed his caress.

He brought his lips to the center of the bite and let them linger there for a second before he brought his thumb up his canine to pierce the skin. Laying his hand flat against the mark he just started the incantation to heal it when his hand was jerked off.

“What do you think you’re doing? Do you think I can’t take care of myself? If the mark was bothering me I am perfectly capable of removing it myself, I don’t need _you_ trying to fix me.” Her tone was harsh and her eyes cold. When she felt his caress and lips, she thought he was going to start a slow exploration of her body like he had in the vault, she certainly wasn’t expecting it was so he could heal her. She didn’t need him or anyone else trying to care for her like this.

Hamish sighed and let his hand drop to his lap. “I lost control and hurt you and it makes me sick that when I saw it just now, even though I knew you were dealing with something all I wanted to do was bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you till you begged me to stop. That’s not…I’m not proud of that Vera.”

She wanted to stay upset with him, maybe if she stayed upset, he’d leave and give up on her. If she did, then maybe she wouldn’t risk hurting him when another bad dream consumed her. Maybe if she distanced herself from him before he got too attached, he wouldn’t be targeted by Praxis again to get to her and her nightmare would never come true.

If he quit her now, he would never have to feel the pain of her untimely death when the cancer took her, she would just be a fling he’d had. He’d never need to know that the consequences of his choice to rob her hadn’t ended when Rogwan was defeated. He would never feel the need to find a nonexistent cure for her cancer only to realize that though _she_ didn’t blame him for her status, had they never stolen the sickles she never would’ve felt the need to perform the incantation that was killing her.

She should be kind and let him go. She shouldn’t continue this and risk him falling for her down the road when she was too broken to return it, even if she wasn’t dying. He’d already lost one person he cared about; she shouldn’t make him loose two. She opened her mouth to hurl a retort back at him when he looked up and met her gaze.

She couldn’t do it. It was selfish, she thought as she brought her hand up and all the marks on her neck disappeared. His face showed relief, but she knew better. Even if she weren’t living on borrowed time already, she would never be able to allow herself to be comfortable enough to give him even a fraction of what he’d grow to want. She would always keep him at arms distance, never letting him closer, but also unable to let him go.

She didn’t fight him as he brought her closer and kissed her deeply, thanking her for understanding. She felt as he started pulling back and chased his lips with hers, refusing to let him see her grief.

“Vera, wait…” Hamish almost lost himself in the kisses, but he felt the tightness in Vera, the same rigidity she’d had in her office. He could tell she was trying to distance herself emotionally. Her mouth pressed harder into his as she pushed him onto his back and straddled him.

She felt him push on her shoulders slightly, and knew he was trying to read her face. She couldn’t let him see it right now, she couldn’t face it. She feared she would spill everything if she saw his concerned gaze. It was bad enough she couldn’t let him go; she wouldn’t put him through further pain by making him aware of just how broken she was.

She reached down and dragged her nails over his covered length letting out a hum of approval when he thrust up into her. A second later though she felt him shake his head and clear his throat as he tried to push her up again.

“Vera, look at me.” It was only her refusal to meet his gaze that kept him grounded enough to remember she was hurting. He would not take advantage of her pain. “Something is bothering you; we don’t have to do this…” He started to sit up to get better leverage.

“I want to forget, just for tonight.” Her grip turned almost desperate. He understood her plea enough to know she needed comfort and that this was the only way she knew how to accept it. He would give her whatever she needed.

Reaching between them he undid the tie on her robe and slid it from her shoulders, his fingers following the silky material as it fell from her. Wrapping his arms around her he rolled so she was beneath him and pulled back slightly to confirm his suspicion, her eyes were closed to him.

He brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply as he caressed her breasts. He began a slow trail of kisses down her neck, chest, stomach, hips and skipped over her center to begin again from her ankle up. When her gasps became deeper and he felt the tension fade he looked up from where he was settled between her thighs. Her eyes weren’t wide, but he let out a pleased moan when he met the passion filled slits watching him.

He kept his gaze locked with hers as best as he could and slipped two fingers into her continuing his slow deliberate pace. Her mouth hung open just enough to let out the building moans. He continued to watch as her hand threaded through his hair and held him to her, when her head bent back, neck muscles taut. Just as the whimper that signaled her climax was approaching escaped her lips, he slipped a third finger into her and increased the intensity of his tongue’s motions.

He didn’t let up as she rode out her orgasm, bringing his other hand to still her rocking hips. His name tore from her in a throaty groan as her second climax hit. He slowed his pace and lessened the pressure with his tongue, letting her gently come down from her high.

Feeling the gentle tug on his hair he looked up to meet her half-closed eyes and gentle smile. He crawled up her body slowly, trailing that same line of kisses back towards her waiting lips. The kiss was lazy but no less meaningful then their passion filled ones.

He settled beside her and pulled her back towards him. Vera wanted to fight it, wanted to tell him to leave so she wouldn’t put him in danger, but couldn’t will her body to object. Her body was spent and his warm bare chest pressed firmly against her back with his arms tightly wrapped around her pulled her towards oblivion.

“You should leave, I’m not safe to be around, not worth it.” In her trance like state, she wouldn’t remember admitting the broken words as she surrendered to her exhaustion, but Hamish wouldn’t forget the pain in her voice as she whispered the admission. He hugged her tighter to him and kissed her head gently.

“Rest, I’ve got you, everything will be okay. I’m not going anywhere.” He vowed to fight whatever came for her, including herself if need be. She wouldn’t be fighting by herself any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so that got a little more angsty then I was expecting...but Vera is broken and raw right now. At least Hamish is aware of it and knows when to not push her.
> 
> I've seen several versions of when Vera cast the Fors Factorum, and based off of her saying it's usually just for the Grand Magus and Adepti I chose to have her cast it after she became Grand Magus, and only when she was desperate enough, hence after the sickles were stolen and before she became aware of the Excidium.


	17. Sharing His Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait till tomorrow to post this one, but Chinadoll00 and Helstu were able to excite my muse enough to force me to stay up and write this one out after an exhausting day of cutting up trees and moving them. Any mistakes...well I blame it on me starting the last edit read through at 1am...
> 
> Stuff is going to start picking up in the story here, I'm diverging a bit from the show, but still trying to keep it mostly linear.

CHAPTER 17

Hamish stayed awake for the next two hours watching Vera as she slept. He would pull her closer and whisper soothing nonsense into her ear when her she would tense, or she’d start to twitch. He was thankful that it seemed to work, and she was able to finally catch up on some of the sleep she so desperately needed.

He heard the ringing just before the pain started. It was so strong his eyes clenched shut as his grip on Vera tightened without his control. His head burrowed into her shoulder as he tried to breathe through the pain.

 _‘Something’s wrong!’_ Tundra’s pained voice filled his mind but did nothing to lessen the excruciating pain flooding his body.

“Vera!” His attempt to wake her was unnecessary as she had woken up the second his grip became vicelike and was trying to turn.

Vera’s eyes had opened wide as pain shot through her torso. She could feel Hamish shaking behind her and his labored breathing on her neck. She tried again to turn, but his grip tightened further, and her name ripped from his lips telling her he was awake, but something terrible was happening to him.

“Hamish? What’s wrong?” She could feel her ribs protesting, to the point of possibly breaking as his shaking arms closed in further. She panicked when she heard his quiet broken plea to help him and tried to focus her magic to push his grip from her to allow her to see what was going on.

It took more effort than she thought it would, and even then she was only able to lessen his hold enough to turn towards him before it snapped back around her. The movement was echoed by two loud snaps as she felt a rib give way on either side.

Gasping for shallow breaths through the pain she pushed herself up as far as she could to look at his face. She could see the black veins bulging in his neck and along the sides of his face. Pure agony was the only thing that would describe what she was seeing.

Not knowing what to do she brought both hands to the sides of his face. His skin was like a furnace and she almost pulled back from the intensity. Instead she chilled her hands and started running them through his hair and along his face and neck in an attempt to cool his fevered skin.

“Fight!” Her words were coming out in pants through her fear and not being able to draw breath from his hold. Wracking her brain for something, anything that could help him, she remembered a passage she’d read about lessening one’s burden by linking their pain to you. For once, she was thankful she’d cast the Fors Factorum, as she didn’t need to remember everything that went along with the incantation.

Steeling herself, she focused on what she wanted and opened her mind to receive whatever she could to lighten his burden. The connection was severed almost immediately as the intensity of the pain caused her to lose focus. She drew back and looked down on his pain-stricken face.

“Dammit Hamish, you need to fight this!” Gritting her teeth, she centered herself and opened her mind again, this time holding the connection as the pain flooded through her.

Hamish felt the pain weaken enough to hear Tundra’s agonized apologies and Vera’s pained gasps. Fighting himself he opened his eyes just long enough to see her hovering above him with tight eyes. He weakened his hold on her, realizing he was crushing her and brought a shaking hand up towards her head to guide it into his shoulder as they rode out the pain together.

It was almost twenty minutes later when Vera’s concentration started to waiver from pain and exhaustion. She clutched tighter to him trying to hold on and just as she was about to break there was nothing. She collapsed against him, both left gasping for air.

“Are you okay?” He asked several minutes later when his found his voice again. He wanted to push her off of him and check to make sure she was unharmed, but his strength was gone.

“I’m fine, what about you? What was that?” She wasn’t exactly fine. She was positive she had at least two broken ribs, probably more and would undoubtedly be sporting a massive bruise wrapping around her torso, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. She was more concerned with what had caused his reaction.

_‘They did something with the Vade Maecum. Something that dealt with me in some way, it’s the only explanation for the intensity and duration. You need to call the others!’_

“It’s related to the Vade Maecum in some way. I have to check with the others to see if they were also affected.” He could feel her terror as she gripped him tighter and soothingly rubbed his hand along her back while he reached for his phone with the other. Just as he was about to hit send Randall’s face popped up. He put him on speaker knowing Vera would want to hear.

“Randall, are you okay? Is Jack with you?”

 _“We’re both here. What the hell just happened?!”_ He was also out of breath telling Hamish and Tundra that it wasn’t just directed at him. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved by that or not.

“I don’t know exactly, something to do with the Vade Maecum and the hides.” Even though Hamish could still hear Tundra, it was more distant, and he was worried about the other Knights. “Can you guys still shift?” He felt Vera’s grip tighten again and pulled her tighter to him in an effort to comfort her. He heard the growls on the other end and sighed in relief.

_“Greybeard and Silverback are still with us, but we couldn’t hold them.”_

“I think they were the targets of whatever it was, and we only experienced the pain because we’re linked. They’re probably exhausted, we’ll try again in a few hours. Do either of you sense anything wrong with your hides?”

 _“Not that I can tell…what about Tundra?”_ Hamish knew Jack was asking him because he could actually talk with Tundra.

“He’s here, he’s just weak at the moment, but other than that everything seems fine. Take the next few hours and try to rest. Stay at the Den.”

 _“What about you? You really think Severa is going to care and let you stay?”_ At Randall’s question he felt Vera stiffen and attempt to pull back. His grip on her tightened desperately as he held her to his chest.

“Absolutely not Randall, we’re not having this discussion again. She’s the Grand Magus and deserves to be treated as such.” At his rebuke to the younger wolf, he felt Vera stop trying to pull away from him, but she stayed tense in his arms.

 _“Right, sorry.”_ He was happy to note he seemed at least somewhat apologetic. Even if Hamish knew it was only because of their argument last night and that Randall knew that he had upset him again and not because he was going after Vera.

 _“I’m sure Vera will be okay with you staying a few hours until Tundra is full strength again, but just in case she isn’t or needs to leave just let us know so we can be on guard okay? Take care.”_ The line went dead and Hamish found himself in Jack’s debt again. He really was playing a wonderful mediator with Randall and himself.

“Vera?” Hamish was worried she had yet to say anything or relax in his arms.

“Now I understand why Mr. Morton asked if I’d seen you after you’d been kidnapped. And now Mr. Carpio knows. That’s just great.” If she weren’t so exhausted, he was sure she would be out of his arms by now.

“All Randall knows is that I came over last night to make sure someone else was here in case Praxis decided to come back and attempt to attack again. He believes I spent the night on the couch. And the only reason he knows anything is because we argued last night, and I took off and wasn’t answering his messages. He thought I’d been kidnapped again. I told you I wouldn’t say anything Vera and I meant it.”

“Well they certainly seem to think something is going on.” She knew it wasn’t fair for her to be upset with him over the remarks his fellow Knight had made, but it had been a rough night and he was there.

“Jack knows, as I’m sure you’re aware. But Randall is just being Randall. He’s been poking fun since Rogwan, but he doesn’t know anything, and I’ve already spoken with him about the names. Yours isn’t the only one he goes after. He thinks he’s funny even though no one laughs.”

They stayed quiet for a few more minutes and though she’d relaxed slightly, she was still tense. “Do you want me to leave?”

She was frustrated with the automatic tightening of her grip on him, aware he’d felt it to. “No, It’s fine…” He waited for her to continue knowing there was something else on her mind. “You didn’t try…how can you be sure?” It took him a second to realize what she meant and he froze.

Hamish was aware she’d read some of their Journals, she may know that it wasn’t common for the Champions to be able to talk with their hides. It may even be mentioned in one of the ones they hadn’t read about the topic of Claiming.

 _‘I can last a short while. Ease her worry.’_ He nodded and gently rolled her off of him. His gazed focused on her when she let out a quick grunt of pain and he saw the deep bruising that was forming across her torso before she quickly pulled the blanket over herself.

“Vera…” He felt Tundra’s remorse alongside his own. He’d done that to her. Not on purpose and he couldn’t stop himself even if he knew what he was doing, but his pain didn’t lessen. He dropped back onto the bed and tugged the blanket down to see the full extent of the damage he’d caused.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve had worse.” It was sad, but it was true. As soon as she regained some of her strength, she’d begin healing herself. He looked broken as his fingers gently trailed over the deep marks. “Really Hamish, don’t worry about it okay. I felt what you were going through, you couldn’t help it, I know that.”

At that a whole new wave of guilt washed through him, she’d bore his pain for him while she was dealing with this as well. He didn’t know what she’d done, but it helped him immensely. Looking back to her eyes, he saw no trace of anger on her face. It was pure understanding and imploring him to listen and to not blame himself.

“You’re incredible Vera, you know that right?” He leaned forward, careful of her bruised torso and kissed her deeply. Pulling back he saw her eyes happily watching his with a tiny smile on her face. He could still make out the slightest hint of sorrow hidden in their depths, but the happiness she was displaying was genuine.

“Tundra?” She asked dropping her hand from his neck and pulling the blanket back over her again. He nodded and stepped into a space that was large enough to accommodate the wolf and shifted. Vera watched as the wolf staggered a bit before steadying itself. He walked towards her and dropped to all fours to meet her gaze.

Tundra sniffed and nudged gently at her bruised torso and whimpered slightly before meeting her gaze again. Vera was shocked, Hamish’s pain she could understand, he had beaten himself up over a small bite mark. The damage to her torso was much worse and would take longer to heal, of course he was bothered that he had caused it. But Tundra too?

She met the wolf’s stare resolutely and brought her hand up to the side of his face. “It’s not your fault either Tundra so don’t you start sulking on me. I’ll be fine again in a few hours.” She smiled as Tundra tilted his head as if he understood and couldn’t stop herself from giving him a scratch behind his ear.

She saw the eyes start to flicker and a second later Hamish collapsed against the bed beside her. “Absolutely incredible.” She smiled to herself as he fell asleep almost immediately with legs hanging off the side of the bed.

She checked her phone and saw it was half past five. Removing her usual alarm to let them sleep and making sure the ringer was on just incase anyone from the Temple needed her she set it back on the table.

She grit her teeth through the pain as she stood, clutching her ribs and started to walk around the bed to lift Hamish’s legs fully onto it before pulling the blankets over him. She adjusted the pillow under his head and walked back to her side, crawling in beside him.

She hesitated slightly before moving over and resting her head on his shoulder and placing her hand over his heart. The arm she was laying on tightened around her as she settled and the ache it sent through her damaged midsection was worth the feeling of security that swept through her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what they did to effect the wolves so viscously? And how adorable was that Tundra/Vera moment?!
> 
> I'll try to find time over the next few days to write, but with everything going on with my sister's house I can't promise to get anything out for a few days. Though, I wasn't expecting to get this one out so soon either, so who knows?


	18. Praxis Goes to Germany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update to get something out and start things rolling.
> 
> Just a note, Holger Schroeter is the actual Chancellor of Heidelberg University, but I know nothing about him so if anyone knows him/knows of him and he's totally different then how he appears here...well I just wanted to use the university because of its history and he is the one in charge.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Hamish woke first thanks to Tundra’s prodding. He was about to ask the wolf what was wrong when he heard Vera let out a small whimper of pain. He thanked Tundra and carefully adjusted so he could better see the woman in his arms. Her face was pinched in pain, but he was happy to note she was still asleep.

Carefully pulling the blanket down to inspect the damage he had to bite his tongue to hold his pained gasp in when he saw the dark purple spread across her lower ribs. Knowing she had been too exhausted to heal herself earlier and feeling mostly refreshed he sliced his palm and carefully laid it over the darkest patch of skin and spoke the incantation to heal it.

It was slower than anything he’d healed in the past and took more concentration, which led him to believe Vera had significantly minimized the extent of the damage to lessen his guilt. Her breathing eased noticeably when he’d finished with her front side and he slowly trailed his hand to her back mirroring the same placement he’d just healed.

Just as he was about to roll her so he could access her other side her phone began ringing jolting her awake and pulling a pained gasp from her at the movement. Hamish reached over her and brought the phone towards her, so she didn’t have to reach and refocused on healing her broken side.

“Thank you.” She shouldn’t have been surprised to find him healing her, but she was. Someone caring for her was still so new to her. Especially when he looked up at her as if challenging her to try and stop him. With her thanks he relaxed and placed a gentle kiss to the large bruise that he was attempting to erase.

Vera looked at the phone and was shocked to see the name flashing on the screen.

“Dr. Schroeter, this is a surprise.” Why was the German chapter calling her? They weren’t due for their quarterly meeting for another month.

“Grand Magus, I hope you can excuse me for calling so early, I tried Elizabeth first. Two of our Medicums reported a large group of American practitioners just appeared in the Heidelberg Castle ruins, where the original Temple was before it’s destruction. I know we are in procession of the Cretian Loom now so their sudden appearance is possible but having not had word from you or the council first I thought it unlikely and should reach out right away.”

Vera sat up quickly, just barely holding in the groan of pain as her ribs jarred with the motion. Hamish huffed slightly and repositioned himself, so he was supporting her from behind as he continued to work, picking up the other side of the conversation easily thanks to Tundra.

“You were right to call; they aren’t our people. Did your Medicums gather any information about the group? How many there were? Any descriptions of the members?” There was a pit forming in Vera’s stomach as she heard the Magus consulting with his disciples.

“There were anywhere from forty to fifty people in the structure and one of the Medicums heard from a woman he believes to be leading the group shout ‘make Salvador proud.’” Vera met Hamish’s concerned gaze. It was too much of a coincidence that so soon after stealing the Vade Maecum and whatever happened with the knights. Salvador was planning something.

“Salvador is the suspected leader of Praxis, the same group that launched the attacks the other night on all of the US temples. We’re currently trying to hunt her and a top member down here. Its greatly concerning that so many are there, and at the old Temple no less. Tell all of your members to keep their guard up and to travel in pairs for the time being. No acolyte is to travel without at least a Medicum to accompany them. Same goes for everyone higher up, Praxis is filled with powerful practitioners and they won’t hesitate to go after you or the Adepti with you…”

“Surely they aren’t stupid enough to attack Magus level…”

“They went after me and knowingly targeted one of my strongest disciples. They turned another of our most powerful practitioners, who's now likely second in command. They sacrificed one of their own who killed himself, by changing the incantation's words mind you, and almost took out Kepler, myself, the Adepti and everyone in the Belgrave Temple. They are also the ones responsible for the theft. Don’t dismiss them as the typical bumbling tourist, Holger.”

Vera truly like Holger Schroeter. The German chapter had excelled under his time as Temple Magus. He was a strong practitioner, wise and fiercely protective of his students. She was thankful he had picked up on the oddity of the group and reached out. Perhaps together they could protect their students and find out what Praxis was planning in Germany.

“I understand Grand Magus, I’ll be sure to make everyone aware of the threat. I’ll also increase the wards on our Temple and have the Temple and the Vault guarded by at least two Magistratus each at all times.”

“Contact me the second you find something, day or night. They’re after something and they won’t stop until they find whatever it is.”

“Yes Magus. Shall I inform Council?”

“No need, I’ll be calling them once we’re done here.” Great, because all day with Bitsy yesterday wasn’t enough. Couldn’t she get a single day off?!

“Very well, I’ll update you as soon as we have something. Grand Magus.” He disconnected the call and Vera sank back against Hamish. She still had some light bruising along her torso, but he had fixed her ribs and the darkest bruises.

“Do you think this has something to do with whatever incantation they performed this morning?” Hamish dropped his lips to the top of her head as he gently kneaded her shoulders.

“I think it’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be related somehow. The Knights and the Vade Maecum are both linked to Germany, but it still doesn’t tell me what they’re after.”

“What do you mean?” At her incredulous look he found himself flushing slightly.

“Did you read _any_ of your journals? It was Tundra’s previous Champion that noted when they fled Germany in the 1700s during the creation of the Vade Maecum. There wasn’t much, but they disagreed with the creators and were being hunted down. Tundra’s champion got the other Knight's and made for the colonies.”

_“Tundra?”_

_“That was so long ago…I remember fleeing with the other four but so much has been lost over the centuries. I can’t remember most of our time in Germany or soon after landing in the colonies, but I do remember we did used to live there and the Vade Maecum was the reason we left. I wish I could be of more help, but the memories are lost to me.”_

Looking up he saw Vera was still watching him. “Honestly? Not enough. Cassie told me everything I needed to know was in the journals, but after she died I…I got distracted. It wasn’t until Jack started reading them and making remarks that I started to take an interest in them.”

“When we get them back, I expect you to read at least the journals from your wolf’s predecessors.” She looked down at her phone and breathed deeply. “More of Bitsy, just what I was hoping for on my day off.” Hamish chuckled slightly as he resumed kneading her shoulder with one hand and healing the remaining bruises with the other while she filled the council in on the new development with Praxis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Praxis in Germany? And so many?
> 
> Let me know what you thought, I'll try to get the next chapter our soon.


	19. Hamish Pulls Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Chinadoll00 and Kuningatarmirka for the reviews and inspiring my muse to get this one out when I actually found myself not wanting to actually write (I just kept planning out future chapters - onto 44 now), but you two pulled me back and I am soo excited to hear your thoughts on this one as the plot drops (at least starts to).

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Two weeks had passed since Schroeter had reached out. In that time the Knight’s had gone out daily in search for Alyssa and Salvador, but there was nothing. The wolves were back to full strength now and hadn’t experienced any events like the one that had plagued them two weeks ago. It seemed like whatever Salvador and Alyssa had done didn’t have any noticeable lasting effects, they hadn’t even heard a slight ringing since that night.

Praxis’ sudden silence worried Vera and Hamish. Hamish had started to do patrols near Vera’s house before she left the Temple and once before he went to bed, unknowingly to Vera of course. She hadn’t invited him over in that time and Hamish wasn’t sure if she was distancing herself from him again, which was possible, or she was just too exhausted with everything else going on, she was almost always at the temple now.

Vera had spent more hours than she cared for stuck at the Temple. It seemed she was always in meetings now. Faculty meetings, Council meetings, meetings with the German Chapter, and other Chapters to update them on the situation with Praxis so they could keep watch. And then, because the Council meetings alone weren’t enough, there were the most dreaded meetings with Kepler that always seemed to be the last meeting of the day.

Schroeter had checked in several times over the two weeks. The Praxis members definitely seemed to be looking for something. The wards were being chipped away at each day, but thankfully he was able to strengthen them each morning and they hadn’t been able to break through.

Two members had tried to break in a week ago, but the Magistrates on guard were able to dispatch with them and had even managed to captured one. Vera had been on the call each day while he had interrogated the member, but they said nothing except how Salvador would prevail and when she did magic wouldn’t be able to be hoarded by corrupt organizations like theirs any longer.

That in combination with the lack of progress on locating Salvador, Alyssa or their inventory, left Vera’s patience paper thin.

She was barely sleeping with the constant threat of Praxis and The Order under attack on two fronts. And with so much time taken up with Order duties, she had started drowning in work from her Chancellor position. Not that she’d ever admit it, despite Hamish’s concerned insistence earlier in the week.

After a full day of meetings, and the unsuccessful interrogation of the captured Praxis member, Hamish had found her near two in the morning passed out on her desk. He insisted on driving her home and she’d been too tired to fight him on it, which led to his innocent comment that she _could_ delegate some of the work to the Vice Chancellor to at least ease her work load on that front.

In her tired, no patience left state she immediately went on the defensive. It was _her_ job, not his and he’d do well to remember that. She could handle being the Chancellor, Temple Magus and Grand Magus dammit! She didn’t need anyone’s help, including his. She wasn’t weak and he needed to stop treating her like she was. If he really wanted to help, he would fix his own damn mistakes and find the inventory he’d stolen from her, but he couldn’t even do that it seemed. And before he’d even realized it, she’d slammed his car door and locked herself in her house, refusing to let him in.

As soon as she’d woken the next day, she’d felt bad for snapping at him when he was just trying to help. She _was_ tired and it was obvious, but she was too proud to bring herself to apologize for lashing out at him. She almost caved each night since then in the silence that engulfed her when she went to bed or when she’d wake from yet another nightmare, but she had stopped herself before sending the message each time.

Since their fight, or rather _her_ unfair verbal lashing and his silence, he had backed off significantly. He no longer updated her each evening in person on yet another unsuccessful hunt for the Praxis members but would rather send a text that would come later and later in the evening. He no longer stopped by on his way home trying to encourage her to call it a night and start fresh again in the morning.

She hadn’t seen him since the day after that argument and though a small part of her wanted to keep the distance, protect him from herself, a larger part wished to see him. The only thing that kept her from loosing it completely was coming back to her office after another unbearable meeting to see his signature cocktail sitting on her desk showing that he still cared and was thinking about her.

However, when she opened her office door expecting to see a _Grand Magus_ sitting on her desk, there was nothing. He had to know she was in a meeting, everyone in the Temple knew because the alter room was off limits during their meetings. It was how he’d known every day in the past two weeks that a meeting occurred.

Steps faltering, she stared at her desk for several seconds before squashing the ache that came with his complete disappearance and poured herself a glass of straight bourbon. Her headache was nearing migraine level when her phone started ringing, closing her eyes in annoyance she picked it up with an irritated ‘ _What?!’_ without looking at the caller.

_‘Magus, there’s something wrong with the wolves! They just started convulsing in pain and shifting back and forth. I can’t get close to them, what do I do?!’_

Vera barely heard Gabrielle’s concerned voice, nor the other wolves’ howls of pain. All she could focus on was Hamish’s pleas to _‘Please, stop!’_ Taking a second to try to quell the terror, she asked for their location and told the girl to keep her distance, immediately leaving for the address Gabrielle provided.

It was a beautiful apartment complex, but she didn’t really care at the moment. Not bothering to be buzzed up she quickly unlocked the door and made her way to the apartment number provided. As she neared it, she was surprised she couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the door and a small flicker of hope swelled up at the thought that whatever was happening was over. She attempted to unlock it, but nothing happened.

“Open the door Ms. Dupres.” Within seconds the young girl’s panicked face was visible, as were the anguished sounds coming from the three wolves, dousing all hope that had come seconds before. The thought to praise the acolyte for the silencing spell fled her mind as soon as her eyes connected with Hamish’s writhing body.

“Oh god.” It escaped on an almost silent breath, too quiet for Gabrielle to hear thankfully.

“I tried to put them to sleep, but it didn’t work. I tried getting close, but Randall almost took my head off when he wolfed out. I don’t know what to do Magus.”

“What happened before they started convulsing? Did they say they heard the ringing?” Her eyes never left Hamish, so she saw when his eyes snapped open to connect with hers, a silent ‘help’ on his lips before shifting silver and into Tundra again.

“Nothing! We just got back from looking for Alyssa. We were going to attempt to do some kind of tracking spell to see if we could follow the vault items, but we didn’t get a chance to start. They just dropped to the ground and started doing this, I called right away.”

“Okay…okay.” Vera was talking to herself as she removed her jacket and set her purse and keys down. She looked back at Hamish who was watching her through pinched eyes and hesitantly started making her way towards him, careful to avoid the other two.

“Magus, be careful!” Gabrielle shouted just as Hamish shifted back into Tundra. Vera paused briefly, but when the silver wolf’s eyes connected with her own, she continued. Remembering Tundra’s pained response at the damage he and his champion inflicted on her, she trusted the wolf to not harm her if he could help it.

“Tundra, I’m going to help but I need you to fight coming out long enough so I can connect with Hamish okay?” Gabrielle watched in amazement as Vera knelt over the massive wolf seemingly without fear. She saw the huge head and paw lift and almost screamed to the woman, expecting the wolf to attack but was silenced when it only moved jerkily to position itself so its enormous head rest on Vera’s lap.

With an anguished howl it brought one of its giant paws up and behind its head to clasp onto Vera’s hip. Gabrielle could see the claws dig into the woman's hip as it gripped her, but Vera didn’t even flinch. Instead she brought both hands to either side of the wolf’s head on her lap and bent to hover over it.

“I need you to fight this Tundra.” Her eyes remained focused on the silver eyes and the second they started to flicker back to blue she readied herself to catch him. “That’s it, I’ve got him.” She assured the wolf quietly and as soon as Hamish was back, she connected with him and gritted her teeth as the pain flooded through her body. This was way worse then last time and she couldn't stop the pained cry from breaking free.

With the pain lessened Hamish opened his eyes to meet Vera’s and thanked her silently. He was more cognizant of what was happening but as the pain reached its peak and all of them, including Vera let out one harmonious howl of pain an image flashed into his mind.

A nude woman sitting with crossed legs and arms bent and opened upwards on either side of her head. She seemed to be hovering almost on top of a river, unearthly green aura swirling from her as her long black hair billowed around her. There were matching blood red markings on her forearms, a dot with a half circle surrounding it. On her sternum was a large circle with rows of curved pointed lines, severed in the middle by an arrow marking trailing from collarbone to navel, all that same blood red color.

He looked to her face and saw two identical red crescent lines pulling down over each closed eye. Eyes that snapped open showing the flames beneath. He could see her twisted smirk as he was thrown from the image and full consciousness returned to him.

The pain was gone, but icy dread had consumed him and Tundra. He looked to Vera and saw her terror filled gaze holding his and he knew she’d seen and felt it too. They didn’t know who she was, but it was clear to them both. They’d seen those types of markings before. They were present on all demons, classifying their status.

And by the markings she bore and the dread she’d planted in them, there was no doubt in either of their minds. She was an Empress demon and she was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.O They're so fucked right now...but why is she effecting the wolves? Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Credit for the image goes to Manafold Art. Just take away the headdress, make the hair hip length and the markings red and that is exactly what they saw.


	20. Empress Ishtar Breaks Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the reviews last chapter, they seriously keep me motivated to sit down and actually write instead of just verbalize the whole story sparknote version to my friend. 
> 
> A bit of fluff and wolf teasing incoming...before things start going sideways.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Vera’s hands were still clasped on Hamish’s head, his own hand still on her hip as they tried to catch their breath and make sense of what they’d seen. Her eyes still wide, matching his own. Neither heard Gabrielle calling their names.

It wasn’t until Vera felt something land on her shoulder that she snapped out of her trance. Half expecting the demon to be standing beside her, Gabrielle almost took the full force of an attack spell from Vera. Hamish’s grip on her hip and sudden grasp on her wrist stopped the attack thankfully and her gaze cleared to reveal the frightened girl.

Sha snatched her hands away from Hamish quickly and looked towards the other wolves who were out cold. Their chests were still moving so she knew they were alive, but it terrified her that this demon was able to so easily knock out two wolves. Looking down at Hamish she realized had she not linked with him, he would’ve succumbed as well.

“Grab some blankets Ms. Dupres.” The young girl stayed where she was to her growing irritation. “Now acolyte.” She snapped.

“I don’t know where they are, I’ve never been here before Magus…” Vera had assumed this was her apartment because of the rich neighborhood, who’s apartment were they in?

“Down the hall, take a right. There’s a door to the left that’ll have spare blankets.” Her eyes shifted to the man still resting on her lap. At her raised brown he attempted a shrug that turned to a grimace when it sent stabs of pain through him.

Vera used her thumb nail to pierce her finger and performed a healing incantation hoping to sooth his pain.

“Thank you.” He whispered looking up at her focused face, her eyes flickered to his briefly before looking back towards her hand. “For coming to help.” He brought his hand from her hip and went to stroke the side her face when they both noticed the blood coating his hand.

Seeing the blood made her body aware of the wounds on her hip and she grit her teeth from the wave of pain the awareness brought. Refusing to meet Hamish’s eyes, unable to bear his guilt at the moment she brought her hand to her hip and tried to heal it.

When she continued to feel the pain long after the wounds should have been gone, she remembered Kepler’s comment about werewolf injuries taking longer to heal. Annoyance crossed her face as she tried to will the damage to heal faster.

Hamish watched as the emotions flickered across her face until frustration was all that was showing. “Magus?” Pain flashed across her face so fast he nearly missed it. He saw her jaw clench and her brow raise.

“It’s not healing like it should.” His use of her title hurt more than it should, reminding her of their rocky standing at the moment. She felt his hand come up to cover her own, but he said nothing. Exhaling lowly, she met his questioning gaze. “What?”

“Will you let me try?” He was trying to back off and give her space since her outburst. Last thing he wanted was to add to her problems and make her feel suffocated. It was why he’d stopped updating her in person or making sure she went home at a reasonable hour. She’d told him multiple times that they weren’t in a relationship. He had to stop acting like the concerned boyfriend. 

This was different though. This was a werewolf injury, caused by him and Tundra. It would take hours for Vera to heal it herself, but if he tried it might go faster. Maybe being a werewolf will counteract whatever it was that made their injuries take so long to restore.

Vera watched the blood continue to flow from the gashes and stain her skirt as if she’d done nothing and nodded her head. Without saying anything in acknowledgement, he shift his palm till it was against her hip and the wounds sealed like they should. When her jaw clenched harder and she glared at her now healed hip he couldn’t stop himself from whispering to her.

“I don’t think you’re weak Vera.” Her eyes widened and moved to his as he continued quietly, hearing Gabrielle shut the linen door. “You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. You take everything that comes at you and you get it done. I just wanted to help is all. You shouldn’t have to do everything yourself just because you can.” Her mouth opened a couple times and he could swear her eyes were watering slightly, but before she could say anything Gabrielle was back in the room and the _Grand Magus_ mask was back in place.

Sensing her desire to change the subject and posture now that they had company, he brought his unbloodied hand to stroke her own that was resting on his chest and sat up, taking the blanket Gabrielle offered in thanks.

“Ms. Durpres, you know the healing incantation, yes?” At the girl’s nod, she instructed her to perform it on Randall while she moved to Jack. A few minutes later Jack woke with a start and jumped up so fast he would’ve slammed his head against Vera’s had Hamish not seen it and pulled her back towards him at the last minute.

She glared up at him from where she’d fallen as she removed her head from his lap, but he could see the smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

“Sorry Magus. I thought you were someone else.” His eyes were frantically searching the room before focusing on Hamish. He looked like he wanted to ask something but was hesitating. His eyes flickered to Vera quickly before returning to Hamish. “Did you see a woman just now…in your head?”

Before Hamish or Vera could respond Randall shot up and looked around much like Jack had. “Who the fuck was that! When did you get here?!” He shouted, attempting to shield himself completely from Vera’s gaze.

“Relax Randall, it’s not like she cares that you’re naked under there.” Hamish scolded as his companion’s behavior became ridiculous. His eyes snapped to Vera when he saw Randall’s face take on a horrified expression. He felt a surge of jealously as he watched her look Randall up and down before he saw the amusement in her eyes and laughed at her obvious attempt to make his friend uncomfortable. Payback for all his comments.

“You want to look at someone, look at Ham- _bone_! He’s more age appropriate for you and already has the hots for teacher!” At that she could no longer contain her amused chuckle.

“You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Carpio. I’m _really_ not interested.” His look of annoyance before a smirk of his own made it's way onto his face. It was completely missed by her as she situated herself to lean against the couch beside Hamish.

“Sorry dude, I tried. She’s just not interested in what you have to offer, even when you’re naked she’d rather check me out. Can’t say I blame her though.”

If looks could kill, Randall would be dead thrice over.

“Seriously Randall, shut up!” Gabrielle was horrified for her mentor at the insinuation.

Hamish wanted to defend himself, telling him Vera absolutely seemed to enjoy what he had to offer, but he bit his tongue and refused to look at Vera.

“Believe me Mr. Carpio, if I did ‘want to check anyone out’ it most certainly would _not_ be you.” She could see Hamish’s rigid posture and was thankful he didn’t take the bait Randall had dangled. “And I think we have more important matters to discuss. I take it you also saw the Empress Demon?”

Three pairs of eyes went wide, two from shock and one from fear.

“Empress Demon?!” Gabrielle’s voice shook at the end hoping they were just pulling her leg.

“If Gabrielle didn’t see her, how did you?” Vera’s jaw clenched in her mistake, of course he would notice that discrepancy and latch on to it.

“I’d also like to know that actually.” Jack spoke up and earned himself a glare from both Hamish and Vera.

“Since I have interacted with Tundra a few times, I only felt comfortable approaching him. I attempted to link the effect that was happening to Mr. Duke to myself so I could figure out the best way to help…” A flurry of questions launched from that explanation.

“Is that why you seemed to be in pain too? And why Hamish didn’t pass out?”

“Like the Promethean mind juice stuff?”

“Woah woah woah, back it up. You _linked_ with him? And you’re telling me there’s _nothing_ going on between you two? Right, okay.”

“No Mr. Morton, not like the juice, it’s much stronger than that and isn’t used for communicating. And to answer your first question Ms. Dupres, yes. It evenly splits the burden between the two, so while I lessened Mr. Duke’s pain, I had to bear what was taken and focus on keeping the connection open. I would guess that because it was split between the two of us, the toll it did to his body was lessened to a point where he was able to maintain consciousness.”

Randall watched the two and saw the Hamish didn’t seem at all surprised by this. “Mmhmm, and just how many times have you two _linked_ before?” Vera and Hamish both rolled their eyes, but he noticed they wouldn’t meet the other’s gaze at all. “Deny it all you want, there is _definitely_ something going on between you two kids.”

“Grow up Randall.” Jack and Gabrielle both scolded. And Hamish wanted to hug them, he wasn’t sure how much more badgering he could take before snapping.

“Whatever, so Empress demon…any idea who it is?” Randall asked looking at Vera.

She opened her mouth to answer when the shrill ringing of her phone broke the quiet. Pulling it out she saw Schroeter’s name flashing. She held up one finger to the group in front of her as she answered.

“Mr. Schroeter, can I call you back in…”

“We need your help Vera; you need to come at once…”

“Holger, what’s going on?” Vera was alarmed at once. She had never heard this level of fear from the man before.

“One of our Medicums just returned from a battle with praxis at the old ruins. Praxis started casting incantations carelessly without sacrifices when they started to loose. It must have weakened the veil or something because she was able to break through…”

Her frightened gaze met Hamish’s as she asked the next question.

“Who was able to break through? Who is she?”

“She said her name was Empress Ishtar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It couldn't all be happy now could it? Next chapter things get a little tense between the group, understandably.
> 
> So if any of you have delved deeply into Ishtar myths you may have a slight idea where I'm going, if not, buckle up and enjoy the ride :)


	21. You’re Not Facing an Empress Demon and Praxis Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shout out to Chinadoll00 and Seidling for the motivation :)
> 
> And...brace yourselves for this chapter :/

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The next half hour was a flurry of activity. The wolves overheard the entire conversation and sprang into action when Vera stood to leave, insisting they go with her to the temple. She had argued until Hamish insisted she call the council now to have them meet her at the Temple while they dressed, that way no time would be wasted.

Hamish gave a robe to Jack and Randall as neither would fit in the few tailored suits he kept in his apartment before quickly changing himself. At the last second, he grabbed a few changes of clothing for himself and threw together a few other items. If she was going to Germany to take on an Empress demon, he would insist on going with her. Obviously this one was linked in some way to their hides, they didn’t have this reaction with Rogwan.

“Pull everything you can find on Ishtar and place it on my desk Ms. Birch, I’ll be there shortly.” Vera hung up the phone and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her headache had surpassed migraine level and she was at the nausea point.

"Magus? I saw Hamish and Randall when Rogwan was summoned, they didn’t react like they all did just now. If this is the same demon that you and the Knight’s saw, what’s going to happen them now that she’s loose?”

Vera’s whole body went ice cold at the question. She had been so focused on everything else she hadn’t thought too deeply about the reaction the Knight’s were having, but Gabrielle was right. There was some connection between the wolves and this demon.

It wasn’t just Praxis that she had to worry about now, it seemed an Empress Demon had their sites set on her wolves. One thing was decided, none of them, especially not Hamish, would be joining her in Germany.

“I’ve never heard of this demon Ms. Dupres so I can’t comment on what will happen. All I know is she’s clearly very powerful, is currently in Germany and has some link to the Knights.”

“Which is why I plan to join you if you go.” Hamish said as he walked out from what she assumed was his bedroom. Her eyes widened in fear at the thought of him so close to the demon she’d seen through their link.

“ _Absolutely_ not! None of you will be accompanying me. For one thing, only Medicums and above are allowed to visit other Chapters…”

“Then make us Medicums because I’m going with you.” At this point the other three were watching on the sidelines as the stubborn leaders stared each other down.

“No, you’re not.” Hamish felt Tundra’s weak pushing on him and knew he would’ve broken through if he had been at full strength. Hamish’s stare hardened and he stalked towards her, blocking her from view of the others.

“Yes. I am. Because even if we ignore the fact that I have an advantage of being able to sense bad magic as a Knight there’s a more important reason why I’m going. There is obviously some connection this demon has to the hides and as the leader of the Knight’s of Saint Christopher it is _my_ responsibility to protect my men.” His voice was hard as he stared her down.

She opened her mouth to object, but he spoke over her. “There’s also the matter that _you_ brought to our attention.” At her raised brow and crossed arms he smirked, knowing he had her. “As the leader of the Knights of the Blue Rose, by my oath, it is _my_ responsibility to defend the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose from threats both within and without, Grand Magus.” He purposefully ended it with her title to make it clear that _she_ was his main concern when it came to protecting The Order.

“And to fulfil your duty as a disciple, you will remain _here_ and protect The Order from Ms. Drake and…” She was grasping at straws to keep him safe, but Hamish was having none of it and interrupted her again.

“And to fulfil my duty _as leader_ I will be accompanying the Grand Magus, _the_ _leader_ of The Order, to protect her, The Order and my fellow Knight’s from the current threats.”

The other three were staring at the two heads in varying shades of shock. None of them could see either of their faces, but their tone was clear. Gabrielle’s respect for Hamish grew seeing him standing up against Vera Stone. Jack was shocked to hear the anger in his friend’s voice, especially being directed at Vera, but understood fear was driving it. Randall was pleased to see his leader wasn’t rolling over like a submissive dog.

“It’s up to the Council…” She tried again, the fear she was feeling was seeping through her mask. Hamish wanted to reach out and comfort her but knew it wouldn’t be received well, especially when he was the one causing it.

“You’re the Grand Magus, they have no say on who you bring. I laid out sound reasoning for you to present to The Council. If you choose not to convince them and choose to go on your own, fine.” He watched as the tension in her face eased and he hated himself for his next words.

“I see. Well then Chancellor, I must regretfully inform you that starting now, I will have to take a leave of absence for the foreseeable future and will be unavailable to lecture. I apologize for the short notice, but something important has come up.”

He could hear the others whispering behind him but couldn’t make out their words, his focus solely on Vera. He saw the pain on her face as she realized his ultimatum. Either they go together, or he follows her alone. He watched as her mouth opened to respond when her phone rang.

“Yes?” Vera had never been so thankful to have Kepler call her. “I’m on my way.” She hung up and turned her back on Hamish to grab her coat, keys and purse. “If you’re planning to ride with me, move it.” She ordered walking out of the apartment without looking back.

Hamish looked at the other three who were watching in stunned silence. “Move!” He ordered snapping them out of their trance.

“Dude, I didn’t know you had it in you, nicely done.” Randall slapped him on the back with pride, but Hamish just shook it off and stalked after Vera.

Hamish caught up to Vera just as she reached the back of her car and attempted to stop her from getting in, knowing she wouldn’t return to the conversation once they got to the Temple. The glare she sent at him as she yanked her arm free was murderous and he actually felt a hint of fear go through him. She was _furious_!

“Get. In.” The other three were quick to follow her order, almost fighting over each other to get in the back seat before they quickly shut the doors. All three kept their eyes on the two leaders.

“It’s both nice and terrifying watching Mom and Dad fight…”

“Seriously, shut _up_ Randall!” Gabrielle slapped his arm as his comment pulled Vera and Hamish’s withering gazes to them. They watched Hamish slice his palm and perform an intricate motion with his hands. They watched Vera's mouth move but could hear nothing, telling them he enacted a silence charm.

“There’s no point in casting a silencing incantation, we’re done talking about this Mr. Duke…”

“Don’t _do_ that god dammit!” Hamish snapped at her throwing his hand up in exasperation. Vera’s eyes widened in shock before her stare turned cold again.

“Get. In. The. Car. _Now!_ ” She growled out the last word attempting to step around him to get to the driver’s seat and huffed in irritation when he mirrored her steps.

“You’re not going to face an Empress demon _and_ Praxis alone Vera…”

“It’s _Grand Magus_! And I won’t be alone, the entirety of the German Chapt…”

“Vera, _please_!”

“She’s targeting _you_ Hamish!” She finally yelled shoving him backwards. “She’s after you.” She repeated in a defeated whisper.

“Maybe she is.” He said as he turned her away from the car to hide her face from the others. “Or maybe she’s after the entire Order _and_ the Knights. Either way we need to know before she gets here.” He saw her start to protest but continued.

“They’re my responsibility Vera, I can’t lose them.” He pointed towards Jack and Randall but neither set of eyes followed his motion.

“It’s not safe Hamish.”

“So only you’re allowed to risk your life?!” His face and voice grew hard again, causing the tension in both to return.

“It’s my _job_!”

“And mine!”

“But it’s my job as your Grand Magus to keep you, my disciple, safe!”

“And it’s my job as a Knight, to keep you _and_ my fellow Knights safe!” Vera’s hands were on her hips and both were breathing heavily. They heard the car door opened and both heated glares snapped to see Randall peaking his head out.

“WHAT?!” The both snapped at him.

“ _Fuck!_ Nicole just messaged saying the Council members are arriving, thought you’d like to know. But by all means, continuing arguing amongst yourselves.” They heard him mutter to the others that ‘it isn’t fun watching the parents arguing anymore’ before the door closed and Hamish winced for Vera but didn’t comment.

“I can’t leave this be Vera, so let me go _with_ you instead of following after you. We stand a better chance at defeating her if we go together. Use my strengths as a Knight and a scholar to help locate and neutralize the threat. You are the strongest woman and practitioner I know, but like I said upstairs, you shouldn’t have to do it all by yourself. The Order needs you Vera. Let me help increase the chases that you’ll succeed and return.”

She stared at him for several seconds, willing him to change his mind before she dropped her shoulders in defeat. “Fine, but I need you to promise me that If I tell you to leave at any point that you’ll listen.”

“I…Vera, I can’t make that promise…”

“I won’t ask unless there’s no hope left. If it comes to performing the _Excidium_ I need you to promise me that you’ll leave.” Hamish’s face showed sorrow that matched what Vera was feeling. “You said it yourself, those kids in there are your responsibility.” She waived her arm back towards the car and Hamish’s tortured gaze flicked to the three kids watching them.

“Vera…”

“Promise me that if it comes down to it, that you won’t abandon those kids and send their leader into the hands of the enemy to needlessly die by my side!” Her words were fierce and demanding despite the pain he could see dominating her gaze.

“I promise if it comes to a _truly_ needless sacrifice and you tell me to leave, I will. But only if it’s actually a pointless sacrifice.” He would not tell her that to him it wouldn’t be a meaningless death if his presence in her final moments gave her even the smallest bit of comfort.

She looked so pained it took everything in him not to step forward and engulf her in a tight embrace. He was sure his face reflected the same torment he saw in hers. He watched as her visage became closed off, hiding the anguish he knew she felt.

“Good. Now get in the car.” She ordered turning away from him and walking to the driver’s side door. He followed quickly, glaring at the three in the backseat, wordlessly demanding their silence.

Vera was surprised, but grateful for others quiet, especially Mr. Carpio’s who seemed to always have a negative opinion on her choices. With the silence she was able to compartmentalize and form her argument to the Council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hamish knows when to push back and when not to, but man did it hurt to write that. Next chapter is going to be more of the same, but with a bit of fluff sprinkled within.


	22. Acolytes to Medicums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for the reviews, I think this is the fastest I've finished a chapter, especially since it's a longer one.
> 
> I'd also like preface this chapter saying Randall is actually one of my favorite characters, but his treatment towards Vera also irritates me...he's also the most illusive to write so hopefully I don't butcher him throughout :/

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The meeting had gone over as well as Vera had expected it to. None of the Council members wanted to go with her to Germany, which didn’t surprise her. Kepler was the bravest of the Council members, and even she had run when Rogwan got loose. Why would any of them actively choose to go try to take on an Empress Demon?!

The University was being left to the care of the Vice Chancellor. He was a member of The Order, but had no desire to advance past the level of Magistratus. There was hesitation over who would maintain The Temple after Vera straight up refused to leave it in the hands of Kepler alone. Instead, they decided to bring in the Magus from the D.C. Temple, temporarily instilling Adeptus Ziering as acting Temple Magus for the DC Temple.

All agreed that Vera should travel through the loom as time was of the essence and with things seemingly settled they disconnected the conference line from the other Chapters and Kepler attempted to end the meeting.

“I have a few more things to discuss if you don’t mind Elizabeth.” When she received the nod of approval, she proceeded to explain the possible link the wolves seemed to have to this demon and that with their ability to sense Praxis as well as the demon she planned to bring the eldest wolf along with her. There was silence and shock on all of the faces present before the cacophony of protests came.

“Excuse me Grand Magus.” Kepler interrupted, silencing the others.

“Yes, Counselor Kepler.”

“Even if we agreed with your decision, which is a big if, the rules are clear. To visit another Temple, you have to at least hold the rank of Medicum.” Kepler watched as a smug smile flitted across Vera’s face.

“Which brings me to my next item. As of three hours ago, all three of the wolves have been promoted to the rank of Medicum. And because Mr. Duke is a Medicum and may be of a significant value to The Order in stopping both of these new threats in Germany, he will be accompanying me through the Loom. We will need to inform Professor Krowchuk that for the time being he will need to take over Mr. Duke’s lectures.”

“You can’t honestly think we’re going to let promote your pet wolves…”

“Let me? Need I remind you that _I_ am the Grand Magus _and_ Temple Magus for Belgrave’s chapter? Promotion of its disciples is under _my_ jurisdiction. Mr. Morton and Mr. Carpio will continue in their search here for Praxis and our stolen inventory. Mr. Duke and myself will be embarking for the German chapter first thing tomorrow morning, unless one of _you_ would like to take his place? Any volunteers?” At the silence around the room she nodded her head and continued.

“No? Alright then, it’s settled. If there’s nothing else?” She stood and met each of the Council’s gazes, challenging them to try to object. When none came, she thanked them for coming and strode out of the room towards her office where the Knights, Gabrielle and Nicole were looking through the reliquary for any books that mentioned Ishtar.

Swinging the doors open she was shocked when she saw Hamish and Randall arguing heatedly. They both stopped when she walked in and she was met with silence. Gritting her teeth in annoyance she moved towards her desk, pleased to see her drink waiting for her. She brought it up to her nose and inhaled quickly before taking a healthy gulp.

“Anyone care to tell me why two of you are at each other’s throats when all of you should have a book in your hands trying to find out who this demon is?” Nicole, Gabrielle and Jack immediately turned back to the shelves and started skimming through books, but the two involved in the argument stood seething, refusing to meet her gaze.

“Either be of use or get out so you’re not in the way.” Her tone was icy as she flung open her office door. When neither made a move to leave she cracked.

“You three, go through this reliquary from top to bottom. Find me everything you can on this Ishtar. Leave anything that references her on my desk. I expect this done before five tomorrow morning. Mr. Carpio, with the very limited time remaining, I’m sure the others would appreciate your help if you’d be so inclined….”

“And Hamish?” All eyes flickered to Randall at the question and Vera saw the scowled warning Hamish sent towards the younger man.

“Mr. Duke needs to go home and pack for a possible extended stay in Germany and meet back here by five tomorrow morning...”

“Great, I’ll meet you here at five…”

“Excuse me?” Vera was starting to understand what the two had been fighting about.

“You’re trying to separate the Knights and I’m not going to let you.”

 _“Randall!”_ Hamish growled stepping closer, pulling the other man’s glare away from Vera.

“What?! I know you’re hot for teacher and all, but this is ridiculous! She’s not one of us Hamish, she’s not a Knight and she’s not Cassie so stop acting like she is. She’s taking you, our leader, to another _continent_ for who knows how long, _alone_ and we’re supposed to just accept it? What if she decides to kill you and blame it on the demon? We all know she’s capable of it, look how fast she turned her back on Alyssa. You’re our leader Hamish, it’s time to start acting like it before she gets us all killed!”

Gabrielle and Jack watched as Vera’s face went from shock to hurt to disbelief before settling on anger. She met each of their eyes, nodded sharply and left without saying anything. She could hear a low angry growl in response as she walked away but couldn’t make out any words and at the moment, she didn’t care to try. She couldn’t handle this right now, not after everything that had happened today. There was only so much a person could take before they lost control.

When she started her car and looked up, she was annoyed to see her vision swimming and roughly wiped at her eyes before the traitorous tears could fall. She tried to tell herself that she didn’t care who this Cassie was or what Mr. Carpio thought of her, what any of them thought. It had been a long sleepless two weeks; she was just tired is all.

And yet she couldn’t stop replaying his words over and over again. If anything happened to Hamish in Germany, she would be the one to blame, proving Randall right.

She didn’t realize she’d been staring off into space lost in her thoughts, steering wheel held in a white knuckled grip until she heard the passenger door open. Jerking her head up she looked over to see Hamish climbing in the front seat.

She was about to order him out when she saw his eyes a steady silver and blood around partially displayed claws. His jaw was tense and his breathing erratic, he was at the end of his ropes just like her, and although she felt more comfortable around the silver wolf, she didn’t want to take the risk of an out of control Tundra, especially in public.

Putting the car into gear, she drove to her house in silence. She briefly contemplated bringing him back to his apartment but refused to play chauffeur. If he wanted to go to his apartment or the _Den,_ then he could find his own way there.

She listened as his breathing began to regulate as they got further from the temple and a quick glance over showed fully human fingers. She chanced a glance at his face hoping to see his blue eyes, and although they weren’t solid silver anymore, they were still flickering back and forth. Hamish was still fighting for control when they arrived and she turned the car off.

“Lock the doors when you’re done Mr. Duke.” she said after a few minutes passed and he hadn’t said anything. She wasn’t going to wait around for him to figure shit out, she had enough things on her plate to finish before tomorrow and it was already nearing midnight.

Vera had just put her open suitcase on the bed when she heard the front door shut. Taking another greedy swallow from her drink she started gathering her things. If he wanted to talk to her, he was going to have to start it this time.

She felt his gaze burning a hole into her back while gathering her undergarments. Wanting to appear as if what she’d witnessed in her office hadn’t bothered her, she pulled out multiple matching sets she knew he would thoroughly approve of, making sure he was able to see the items in her hand as she walked back to the half full suitcase.

“I apologize for Randall; he was way out of line…”

“I don’t care what Mr. Carpio thinks of me. Besides, he wasn’t wrong…”

“I don’t believe that, and neither should you. All you’ve done since you found out about us is try to keep us safe. And it’s the same reason you don’t want them to come tomorrow. I don’t understand why he refuses to see it… _”_ He said fiercely, needing her to understand.

“Yes, well. People see what they want to see. To Mr. Carpio I am the enemy and always will be and you trying to get close to your enemy will always be an issue to him. So, to assuage your fellow Knight, perhaps it would be best if you returned to them for the evening before I separate you three tomorrow.”

Throughout the entire conversation she hadn’t stopped packing. She refused to look up at him, knowing he’d be able to see through her mask with how frayed she felt at the moment.

“I don’t care what Randall thinks Vera, he’s wrong…”

“You should care. I’m not one of you Hamish. I’m not a Knight, I’m not Cassie, I did turn my back on Alyssa and I’m taking you, their leader, into a situation where your death is a very real possibility.” Clothes and shoes packed, she turned to head towards the bathroom still avoiding his gaze.

She was surprised he hadn’t followed her but made quick work of gathering the items she’d need. Forcing on an air of indifference, she pushed her way back into her room and towards her suitcase. Her jaw tightened slightly when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed beside the case looking defeated.

Hamish watched Vera as she finished filling her case and moved it off the bed. Reaching out he grabbed her wrist before she could leave again and tugged her to stand between his legs.

“I know you’re not Cassie Vera, I’m not trying to pretend like you are.” After Randall’s outburst in Vera’s office, Tundra had started to force his way out before Hamish had realized what happened and only Jack jumping in front of the other Knight stopped his attack. Randall’s eyes had turned to saucers and immediately started apologizing for throwing Cassie’s death at him.

Tundra refused to fully backdown however, his Champion’s pain and the hurt he was sure Randall had caused to his Claimed was unacceptable. He made it clear that he was _not_ to be questioned and only when Randall submitted, did he relinquish any control to Hamish.

It was when Hamish turned to apologize to Vera and saw she wasn’t there, that Tundra started pushing against him again sensing his panic. His rage and sorrow were too out of control for the wolf to settle down at the time, but now Tundra knew this was something his Champion had to handle by himself.

“I also don’t care that you’re not a Knight, in fact I may prefer it since it’s more likely you’ll live longer.” He watched as her wide eyes shot to his and explained. “Before you brought us in to The Order it wasn’t common for the Champions to survive more than a couple years. Being in The Order has certainly helped, but there’s still practitioners that want to see the Knights dead.”

Vera wanted to break down and tell him it wasn’t true, but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t crush him by telling him how unlikely it was that she would survive more than a year, eighteen months at most if she stopped using incantations without sacrifices. With them going to quite possibly face their deaths in the next few days, she wouldn’t lay that extra burden on him.

“I also don’t believe you turned your back on Alyssa. She’s still young yes, but she chose to follow Coventry despite everyone’s warnings, and she refused to listen to you or Jack and is following a mad woman who she _knows_ is okay with murdering people. You were trying to protect everyone from another Coventry by keeping the survival of Vade Maecum a secret. And even after she broke into your home and you knew she had the book you still just ordered her capture.”

“And do we really need to go over the last point again? If it were up to you, _none_ of us Knights would be going with you to Germany. I’m not giving you a choice there so please, don’t put that on yourself.” He moved his hands to her hips and pulled her in closer, resting his forehead against her torso, wanting to fully embrace her but not sure she’d let him.

Vera stood still for several seconds letting him take the comfort from her that he seemed to need. Sighing deeply, she brought both hands up and rested one on his shoulder, allowing the other to trail through his hair.

“You still should fix things with Mr. Carpio before we leave tomorrow. It may be the last chance you have. You don’t want to leave things like this.” She wanted nothing more than to sink down beside him into his embrace and let him give her one night of security. She knew though that he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened and this was the last memory Randall had with him.

“I know.” He whispered tilting his head so he could look up at her before standing, keeping his hold on her hips. “I’ll be at the Temple at five, if you need anything before that let me know okay.” She nodded and he leaned in a placed a gentle but intense kiss to her lips that she allowed herself to sink into before pulling back.

“Go.” It felt like a Herculean effort on both their parts to let the other go, but they knew it was the right thing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so I really expected there to be more fluff in this chapter...but it was still really sweet despite being so broken yeah?
> 
> Next chapter they should arrive in Germany!


	23. Vermish in Germany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you guys are awesome and are keeping me excited and motivated here's another chapter! And for the accidental absence of fluff in the last chapter after promising it would be there, I made sure to include some in this time as a thank you for sticking with me :)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

When Vera woke suddenly at quarter after three, she was beyond happy she’d sent Hamish home the night before. In her attempt to stop Ishtar from killing the wolves in her dream she had sent a bolt of lightning at her. Only seeing as it was a dream, the lightning had slammed into her desk in the corner of her room and caused a fire to start.

Acting quickly, she extinguished the flames and focused on fixing the damage done to her desk and papers through thick tears. She was exhausted but couldn’t sleep and she couldn’t get control of her magic while she dreamed. Every time she woke to more destruction, she could feel the energy sapping at her strength, slowly killing her little by little. And it was for nothing! Just destroying her own home.

Giving up on salvaging the items for the moment, she grabbed her phone and robe and headed for the shower. She felt the nausea building as she stripped and barely had time to drop to the toilet as she began retching.

Usually she was able to breathe through the nausea after performing a powerful incantation without sacrifice but coupled with the dream and lack of sleep she couldn’t stop the convulsions. When the heaving finally subsided, she cleaned her mouth before walking back towards the shower.

Stepping under the hot water immediately started to sooth her tired muscles and she tilted her head up with closed eyes to let the spray mingle with the tears that were still falling slowly. She just stayed there standing under the hot water, letting it calm her until her alarm went off and she started getting ready.

Coffee in hand she entered the Temple and was surprised to hear laughing instead of silence. Confused, she continued walking, suitcase trailing behind her. She smiled into her mug when she heard Hamish’s chuckle accompanied by Randall’s. She was glad they seemed to come to some sort of agreement, she didn’t want to be the reason they were at odds with each other.

As she came into view, she watched the carefree smiles wipe from the faces of the knight’s and Ms. Dupres. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit it hurt a bit to be the cause, but none of them needed to know that. Her gaze moved to the desk and saw one book that Hamish leaned over to collect before walking towards her.

“Magus.” He greeted before looking over at Randall in expectation. In fact, all of the occupants were looking at him as if waiting for something. Randall looked over at her but didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“About last night…Hamish explained things, I just…keep him safe, yeah?” Vera’s surprised silence was enough to make the boy uncomfortable. “Anyways, I’m going to get some sleep now, so...” And with that he left, giving a quick fist bump to Hamish’s shoulder as he passed.

“I second that, Magus.” Gabrielle nodded respectfully before following Randall, leaving her alone with Jack and Hamish. Jack let out a small laugh at Vera’s look of shock which seemed to snap her out of it.

“Mr. Morton, I trust you and Mr. Carpio to stay diligent in looking for Praxis and to keep me posted on any new discoveries. You are not to engage unless directed otherwise. All of the preparations have been made and the D.C Magus will be here in a few hours, he’s aware of the situation with Praxis and yourselves. He shares my view on you wolves, so do try not to ruin that before we’re back.”

“No promises Magus, but we’ll do our best to handle things here. Go and kick this demon’s ass and make it back in one piece. Both of you.” He met both pairs of eyes before he took left the room.

“Are we ready?” Hamish asked after Vera made no move to leave the room. Her head snapped to his and he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped seeing her so confused. “Drink your coffee and don't bother trying to make sense of them.” He walked over towards the loom and picked it up in his free hand.

“Did you stay here all night?”

“I stopped at the Den to talk with Randall and grabbed a few things that weren’t at my apartment. After that we both came back to finish going through the Reliquary. Nicole left maybe twenty minutes before you got here.”

“You were supposed to get some sleep…”

“I’m sure if I tried it would’ve turned out about as well as it had for you.” He looked at her, letting her see his concern at knowing she’d had another sleepless night. “No, this way I was able to spend a few hours with the Knights, and we were able to finish going through all the books. There’s not much, but this one does mention her in passing.”

“Holger will have his disciples going through their records, so hopefully they’ll have something. Do you have everything you need?” At his nod, they both made their way to the alter and set the loom down. “When the portal fully opens make sure you keep contact with me as we pass through it, otherwise it may close on you.”

Her instruction as she sliced her palm and focused on their destination brought a grin to his face. “Yes Magus, as you wish.” Thankful they were facing the entryway and their lower halves were blocked by the alter, he brought his arm up to wrap around her lower back, so his hand was resting on her hip.

“You’re lucky I already had the portal linked before you pulled that, loosing concentration while performing an incantation of any sort can have dire consequences. You’ll do well to remember that in the future.”

“Are you saying I’m distracting you Magus?” His smug grin completely undermined his mock innocence.

“Not in any of the ways you want to be Mr. Duke.” She teased as the portal strengthened and started to form.

“Must have been a draft then, these Temples can get chilly.” He imitated the shiver that had gone through her at this touch as she turned to glare at him just as the portal opened completely.

“Move it.” She ordered as she grabbed her suitcase handle and mug of coffee before walking through the blue doorway with him.

Hamish was expecting to walk out into a room much like the one they just left so when they appeared in what looked like a large living room, he was understandably a little thrown.

“I have to say Magus, I feel like our Temple back home is lacking a bit…what?” She was watching him with an amused expression that made him look around more thoroughly. He realized there was no way this was the Temple, which made sense when he thought about it.

Vera and the Council were expecting this to take at least a few days, of course she would have lodgings set up and would want to drop her stuff of first.

“I quite like my Temple thank you very much.” He could tell she was still amused as she turned away and started walking down the hallway before disappearing. He trailed after her while taking in the surroundings. Wherever they were it was a lovely place and Vera seemed to know her way around.

“Where are we exactly?” He asked when he saw her unpacking her things in what must be the master bedroom. He wasn’t crazy about the purple colored wallpaper, but the rest of the room was actually really nice.

“Boutique Suites Heidelberg, about a five-minute drive to the Temple. Each chapter has an Order run hotel near their Temple and in each there is always a two-bedroom accommodation available for the Grand Magus. Two bedrooms as it is common for the Grand Magus to bring someone from their home Temple to do the grunt work for them. This is where I stay when I visit the German Chapter.”

She looked up at him after hanging the silk lingerie sets and saw the reaction she had expected when she’d picked them the night before. “When are we meeting with the German Chapter?” He asked as he set the book and his pack down on the seat before stalking towards her. She had planned to take a short nap before heading over, but that thought was blown away the second she saw his hungry gaze on her.

“Holger is expecting me at noon, which leaves just enough time to finish unpacking and show you to your room.” She answered as she walked back to her suitcase to continue unpacking. She smirked when she felt both of his hands land firmly on her hips and pull her back into him.

“Later.” He mumbled before latching onto her neck and snaking his hand under her blouse up towards her chest. Vera arched into him before turning in his arms and pulling her shirt over her head so he could see the sapphire blue and black lace bra she was wearing, the exact shade as the nightdress he’d been so taken with.

His eyes darkened further; pupils blown wide before he hastily yanked her skirt off to see the matching set in all its glory. He guided her down to the bed before pulling back to take her in. “Perfection.” He muttered before quickly undressing and crawling over her.

He was setting too slow of a pace for her, she needed him inside of her, now. Using all of her strength, she rolled them until she was sitting above him and let herself rub over his hard length. Hamish sat up so he could remove her bra, replacing it with his mouth and biting down gently drawing out a _‘god yes!’_ from Vera who tunneled her hand through his hair and raked her nails down his back.

Vera forced his face up and claimed his mouth with her own, greedily devouring it. “Want you…inside of me…now” she gasped between bruising kisses. A rush or arousal shot through her when he growled deeply and rolled her over again, deftly removing her panties and lining himself up. Both moaned loudly as he slid into her.

He tried to set a slow pace, but Vera needed more. Clenching around him she heard his grunt as he fisted her hair and used his surprise to shove him over, wide smile on her face as she met his gaze and began moving faster. His hands fell to her hips in a bruising grasp as he watched her ride him.

He couldn’t decide if he wanted to continue watching the view of her breasts as they bounced from her motions, or if he wanted to sit up and take one into his mouth again. He brought a hand up and ran a thumb over the taut flesh causing her to let out a throaty groan as her head dropped back in pleasure. His other hand slid over to the bundle of nerves on her center and matched the motions of his other hand.

He heard the telling whimper and felt her tightening and pleaded for her to look at him. Her hand landed palm flat on the center of his chest as her head came forward and their eyes connected just as she let herself go. Hamish sat up, wrapping both hands around her back and carefully flipping them before he started moving again. His mouth came to her neck, sucking heavily on her weak point.

“Harder.” She choked out and Hamish almost came at the demand. Stilling for the briefest moment he brought a hand into her hair and fisted a large portion, pulling her head back revealing more of her neck to him as he picked up speed. His other hand came down to grip her shin, just below her knee and push her leg up towards her chest allowing him to go deeper.

The new angle caused Vera’s nails to dig into his flesh and let out a guttural moan. He set a brutal pace, spurred on by her gasps of _‘faster’_ and _‘harder’_. And as he felt his release nearing, he dragged his teeth over her corded neck muscles and bit down hard when she tightened around him, pulling her over the edge with him.

He rolled them again, so she was resting on him as they came down, continuing to place gentle kisses on her neck and shoulder.

“I would swear you were a vampire if I hadn’t watched you transform into a wolf on numerous occasions.” She chuckled through her panting. Feeling him tense, she tiredly pushed herself up enough to look at his face and saw his apologetic gaze. She brought her lips to his and kissed him deeply before pulling back to meet his eyes again.

“If you still can’t tell, it’s not as if I hate it. If I didn’t like something, you’d know.” She watched as the stirrings of lust started in his eyes again and she found a whole new reason to curse this demon.

“As much as I want to, we really need to get ready and head out.” The pout on Hamish’s face was too adorable to not have her leaning back in to kiss him. “Later.” She promised and forced herself to pull away and get ready.

Hamish stayed where he was for a second to just watch her before he felt himself stirring again and knew if he didn’t stop watching her, it would make for a very awkward first meeting with The German chapter.

He finished changing and walked over to Vera who was standing in front of the mirror. Unable to resist he stepped up behind her and dropped a kiss to the mark he’d left, knowing she needed to remove it, as well as the others, before they left the room.

When his head lifted to look at them in the mirror, he noticed she must have cast that same incantation as she had in the vault because there wasn’t a trace that anything had happened between walking through the portal to now.

“There’s some important things you need to know before we leave. Holger is a wonderful Magus and I actually enjoy working with him, but he is as sharp as they come and if there’s anyone who would be able to tell something is going on, it will be him, so we need to be careful.

“Things need to be completely professional in the Temple. When we’re there I am your Grand Magus and you are a Medicum I brought because you are my best scholar and a strong practitioner, no other reason. If you take issue with anything I, Holger or any Adepti present says I need you to play the part of a silent, subservient and observant disciple until we return here. This is the only place we can talk and act freely, understand?” She watched as his face showed slight irritation, but he nodded in agreement.

“Lastly, under no circumstances can the German Chapter know you’re a wolf.”

“Wouldn’t the Council have told them?”

“I didn’t inform the Council you were coming until after we hung up with Holger, and I doubt even Bitsy would call to discuss it. Germany and Werewolves have a very rocky past. If you thought the members you’ve met so far have a thing against werewolves, the ones from Germany are worse. Many choose to act as if werewolves don’t exist or more often if they do exist that they are vermin sent by demons. It helps them feel better and justify their slaughtering of innocents during the Werewolf trials during the sixteen-and seventeen hundreds easier to stomach.”

Any type of witch trial turned Vera’s stomach thinking about how many innocent people were killed because of fear or greed.

“I doubt Holger would do anything; he trusts my judgement, but I worry about some of the other members. Unless it becomes a necessity at some point, I think it’s for the best to keep it quiet.” She looked to him to make sure he understood before they walked out of the room and presented a flawless representation of a leader and her disciple.

* * *

The hotel suite they're staying at, just scroll down and flip through the images - https://www.boutiquesuitesheidelberg.com/heidelberg-suites-and-residences/superior-residences/ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're finally in Germany! And can I say when I was originally drafting these chapters out this was supposed to occur at the end of chapter 16...then future chapter planning had me adjusting things and I'm so happy for the unexpected chapters 17-22.
> 
> I'd also like to say, I have never been to Germany, nor am I good with history...like at all. Before planning this story out I didn't even know werewolf witch trials were a thing so that was something new I learned. Any discrepancies that come up that's all on me and google.


	24. He Can't Have A Baby, Not Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the reviews, here's another chapter. A bit shorter then the last few, but there's going to be a bunch of information being thrown at you guys in the coming chapters and I'm trying to keep each chapter focused on a specific thing. We've got some new faces being introduced (images at the bottom)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

The Temple was a little different than theirs back home, but the layout was much the same. Vera gave a small half smile when he made an almost inaudible disgruntled sound at seeing the bar. It was still a beautiful bar but compared to hers it was seriously lacking.

He stayed two steps behind her carrying the book and fought the urge to drop his gaze to her backside. As she opened the door to the alter room, they were met with a burst of noise that went quiet as about ten members looked towards Vera with varying shades of shock and awe.

A larger man with short white hair motioned for the others to continue working before making his way over to Vera and offered his hand in greeting. “It’s good to see you again Magus, I just wish it were under different circumstances.”

“Vera please, Holger.” It was clear to Hamish that Vera really did like this man, and he could see why. He wasn’t playing at respectful; he just was. “This is Hamish Duke, one of Belgrave’s brightest Medicums, and our best scholar.”

Hamish stepped forward and shook the proffered hand firmly giving a slight head bow. “Magus.” He stepped back behind Vera when his hand was released, waiting for her next move.

“He’ll be staying for the time being to assist. I’d like to speak with the Medicum that witnessed the Demon yesterday and then, with your prisoner.“

“Of course, right this way. Ms. Brandt has been a little out of it since the event, but she’s a bright student.” He led the way into his office, and they saw a blond girl shifting anxiously in a seat. She jumped up when they walked in and met Vera’s gaze in what could only be described as hero worship.

“Emile Brandt ma’am, it is such an honor to meet you Grand Magus.” Despite what Vera said, he did have a poker face and it was coming in especially handy at the moment as he fought the urge to laugh as he imagined the displeased look that had crossed Vera’s face at the ‘ma’am’ remark.

“Thank you, Ms. Brandt. Now could you tell me exactly what happened yesterday?” Hamish was surprised when Vera chose to sit in the free seat beside the girl instead of behind the desk. Looking to Holger he saw a gentle smile grace his face as he walked around his desk and took his seat. It was obvious Vera didn’t force the other Temple Magus’ to give up control as Coventry had and his respect for her grew even more.

Hamish walked to stand a respectful distance behind Vera and opened his journal to take notes to review later. He felt Holger’s gaze on him, but he studiously ignored it, instead focusing on the blonde's story.

“We were doing patrols just as the Magus instructed. There were four of us; me, two other Medicums and one Magistratus. Just as we were getting ready to leave the old ruins and head back to the Temple, I sensed something coming up on us and alerted Fynn, our Magistratus.

“He had just enough time to do a shield incantation on us before Praxis members started attacking. I think they were only expecting the normal two persons watch because they started panicking and their incantations got sloppy. We were holding them off really well, but then weird things started happening.

“It was almost like tiny explosions started going off around us, I thought at the time it was just some spell we’d never seen before, but they looked just as confused as we were. It felt like the ground was shaking and I must have lost consciousness because next thing I knew Fynn was on top of me covered in burns and shielding me from this woman standing over him.” She was tearing up and her hands were clenched tightly on her lap, but she continued on.

“I pretended to still be unconscious, unsure if Fynn was alive or not. I just stayed still hoping she’d leave. I heard one of the Praxis members send an attack spell at her, but she just deflected it and laughed saying;

_‘My child, do you know who you’re dealing with? I am Ishtar, an Empress demon. Do you honestly think a mere mortal could hurt me? You should bow before me and beg for me to spare your life before I lay siege to your world, beginning with those who thought to trap me for the past several centuries.”_

Her shaking was growing worse and her tears were falling freely now. Hamish was surprised when he saw Vera reach out and clasp the girl’s hands with one of her own, providing a grounding for the girl.

“She looked back at the two disciples that were still standing and grabbed each by their throats, burning them from the inside out before she just vanished. How can we fight something like that? It’s hopeless.”

Internally Vera was beyond concerned, but on the outside she presented a calm demeanor and leaned even closer to girl and offered a small smile squeezing her hands.

“Two things Ms. Brandt. One, just because something seems hopeless, doesn’t mean you stop trying.” Emilie looked up with watery eyes as she grabbed on to the woman’s hand in front of her.

“And the second thing?”

“She slipped up.” Hamish knew exactly what smile was on Vera’s face and he knew precisely what she had picked up on from the girl’s story.

“What…?”

“Her cocky attitude allowed her to reveal crucial information to aide us in stopping her.” Holger added, confirming Vera’s statement that he was sharp.

“She…she did?”

“Ms. Brandt, because of your actions to stay hidden, not only were you able to survive to warn us, but we now know that she has been imprisoned for the last few centuries and that it was members of The Order that imprisoned her. That gives us a time frame to start searching and it gives us hope because if it worked before, it can work again. We just have to figure out how they did it. Are you ready to help?”

Hamish watched as a wide smile broke out on the girls face and couldn’t stop the soft smile from spreading across his own as he watched Vera with the girl.

An image crossed his mind of Vera kneeling in front of a child, maybe two or three years old. Curly blond hair pinned to the side with a bow allowing the spitting image of Vera’s blue grey eyes to peer back at her. Vera leaned in closer, scooping the girl into her arms in a flourish before turning to face him with a bright smile completely free of pain.

“Yes, Grand Magus, I won’t let you down!” He was violently ripped from the image as the girl jumped up to aide her other members in searching for any reference of Ishtar’s banishment. He stared at the notes in front of him, seeing a large splotch of ink from where his pen had been resting during his daydream.

He could feel his heartbeat picking up as thoughts raced through his mind, spurred on from the vision. They hadn’t been careful, any of the times they’d been together. His heart ached for that vision to become a reality, surprising him as he hadn’t thought of having kids since he’d become a Knight.

Panic gripped him even harder however at the possibility of it coming true. No matter the fleeting desire, he couldn’t have a child, not now. Hamish could feel his face going numb and forced himself to breathe deeply through his nose to stem the panic attack before it became noticeable.

Tundra sensing his panic, tried to calm him, but was confused over his conflicting thoughts. He couldn’t understand how to help Hamish work through the main issue, but he still tried. His gentle presence allowed Hamish to calm enough to the point that he was able to meet Vera’s questioning gaze and offer assistance as any disciple would.

He needed to stay calm until he could talk to her tonight. Focus on the matter at hand, he could do this.

* * *

Image 1: Holger Schroeter (The actual chancellor of Heidelberg University - I know nothing about him, just using his name and image)

* * *

Image 2: Emilie Brandt (No idea who this is, but this is exactly how I imagine Emilie)

* * *

Images 3-5: The baby Hamish is picturing (If you've seen Battlestar Galactica the last two images you'll place as Kacey and that is exactly what she looks/acts like in Hamish's vision)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man Hamish, that is not the thought you want popping into your head right then...and they have to go interrogate the Praxis member still.


	25. Praxis's Motives Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one to keep things rolling. This one definitely has some important information though.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The three of them left the office and made their way towards the prisoner, Hamish subserviently following behind, still trying to get his thoughts under control.

“See to your disciples Holger, tell them to focus on any books from more than two centuries ago. Mr. Duke will accompany me and take notes for this interrogation. Your presence would be better spent trying to find out how we were able to beat her the last time.” He nodded and dismissed himself, leaving Vera and Hamish alone.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly not turning her head but watching him from the corner of her eyes. Witnessing his panic attack before she had been able to pick out subtle hints of another one beginning. She had hoped Holger had either missed them or disregarded it completely. But the fact that he was displaying it in public concerned her. “Did you sense anything?”

He looked up towards her and the little blond face with identical eyes flashed through his mind again. He cleared his throat and shook the image from his mind as he responded.

“I’m fine, it was nothing.” At her raised brown he exhaled slightly. “Later.” She nodded allowing the subject to drop for now. If he thought he couldn’t talk freely, she would let it be until they returned to the hotel. Taking a deep breath and standing taller she opened the doors and walked in to confront the prisoner.

His mouth was covered and hands bound, but his glare was filled with hatred. Vera shut the doors with a wave of her hand and the two of them approached the seething man. “If you sense anything, don’t hesitate to kill him. We can’t risk another Foley incident.” Hamish nodded and came to stand beside the man, arm poised and ready to let Tundra loose if need be.

“Have you been informed yet that several of your members were attacked last night?” Vera asked as she removed the gag, narrowly avoiding the wad of spit he shot at her. Hamish shoved him back against the chair roughly with a vicious growl.

“Traitor. Following the likes of this Order bitch! Just rolling over on command. Your predecessors would be ashamed of your choices. You don’t even know your own history Tundra.” he hissed at Hamish. Vera’s attention swept between the two, one thing was certain. After this interrogation, she would see to it that he wouldn’t be able to speak afterwards.

“Why are you here? What is Salvador after?” She questioned ignoring the fact that Hamish’s eyes were fully silver. It was good that she’d sent Holger away. The man turned his attention back to Vera with a sneer.

“Do you think you’re the only one with wolves? Aren’t you a few short, even for your pack?” Hamish looked up at her at that remark before getting eye level with the man.

“What do you mean a _few_ short?” They were only missing Midnight, had something happened to Jack or Randall in the short time they’d been gone?

“It’s amazing what magic can do. Tell me, _Grand Magus_ , when you were in procession of the Vade Maecum, did you think about performing any of the spells? There’s powerful magic there. Some can even force the memories out of someone that’s centuries old. Let’s you learn _all_ their juicy secrets.”

“What did you do to Midnight?” Vera stepped back and let Hamish interrogate the prisoner while she watched. It seemed the man was more willing to taunt both of them when Hamish asked the questions.

“Learned your history and your creation, tell me. Does the name Empress Wilhelmine Amalie mean anything to you?”

Vera looked startled at the name and Hamish felt a hint of recognition from Tundra but couldn’t place the name.

“I see you know it dear _Magus_.” He spat the title out in disgust.

“She was the wife of Joseph I, Holy Roman Emperor and previous Grand Magus. She betrayed The Order and was killed…”

“Well, mostly true, but not everything. You see, she wasn’t _just_ the Holy Roman Empress and wife to the Grand Magus, she was a wolf. The leader of them all in fact. And once we find her, we will use her to finish what she started and burn your corrupt organization to ground.” Hamish felt the ringing and Vera noticed the flicker of pain in Hamish as the prisoner opened his mouth to speak.

She made a swift motion with her hand and aimed it at the prisoner. There was a quick snap and the ringing stopped abruptly. Looking down Hamish saw the man’s head laying at an odd angle and knew that Vera had snapped it before he could enact a spell that could endanger the Chapter like Foley had.

“Once we deal with Ishtar, we need to find out if there’s any truth in this.” Vera said breathing deeply through her nose to stem the nausea.

_‘I think…I think I remember her? She was the strongest of us, including Silverback. My memory is mostly missing from that far back, it’s been corrupted somehow. I have this feeling though, like a glimpse of a memory. I believe she played a large part in the creation of the Vade Maecum. I don’t know if she’s still around, we weren’t always immortal. I don’t remember how or when we became this way, but if she is still around, we cannot let Praxis get their hands on her.’_

Tundra was trapped in hundreds of years of stripped and twisted memories, it was like flashes of a person you were sure you knew, but without any discernable markings to help you place them. Like trying to catch smoke with bare hands. The harder he tried to focus, the murkier the memories became and the further he was pulled in. Hamish stumbled slightly as Tundra's focus pulled him deeper, the strain becoming too great.

Vera grabbed him just before he dropped to his knee and forced his face towards her. “What’s wrong? Hamish?” She shook him slightly bringing a hand up to the side of his face trying to break the trance and his eyes shot open, quickly fading back to blue.

“It’s real, what he said is true. If she’s still around, we can’t let Praxis get their hands on her. She was the strongest wolf out of all of us and her skill as a practitioner was matched only by that of her husband. Tundra believes she was instrumental in the creation of the Vade Maecum. The hides weren’t always immortal and he’s not sure when they became that way, so it’s possible she may not be alive, but everything’s been distorted from that time. I can’t make out anything further than that.”

They looked at each other with matching wide eyes before Hamish’s legs threatened to give out again and Vera shook herself out of it. “Okay, one thing at a time. First, we need to deal with Ishtar. Then, we move on to the next threat, okay? We’ll stop by and check in with Holger, get a few books and head back to our rooms. You need to rest, and he’s used to me working from my room normally, he’s probably already set aside some of the books more likely to contain what we’re looking for.”

Hamish gave her a nod and pushed himself upright willing his legs to keep him standing until they got to the car at the very least. Vera watched him for a second before making a decision.

“Go wait for me at the car, I’ll be there shortly.” He would’ve argued, but she was already headed out of the room and he really didn’t trust his legs to hold him much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super curious about the wolves backstories and wanted to know more, so this is my take. And since there were werewolf trials in Germany I liked the idea that there at one point were more.


	26. There Will Never Be Any Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews everyone. Another new face is introduced in this one so that's fun. And some big news...

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Vera made her way towards the alter room where the disciples were going through their records and saw that Holger had indeed been separating the books for her. He looked up as she entered and saw the concern on her face.

“What is it, what did he tell you? Is your Medicum alright?” His concern over one of _her_ disciples is just one of the reasons she liked him. Unlike many of the members only out for power, he wanted to teach and protect those he was responsible for.

“They’re after some centuries old power related to the Vade Maecum and they think they’ve found something. They’re trying to track it down, but don’t have the specific location of it yet. That was all I was able to get out of him before he tried to attack us. After Foley, I wasn’t taking any chances. He should be safe to clean up. Mr. Duke is fetching the car for me so we can begin researching immediately. We’ll deal with Praxis after, or if it comes up, but our main focus needs to be on stopping this demon.”

Vera could see Holger suspected there was something more, but he didn’t question her. He knew that if she was keeping it from him that she had her reasons. Instead he moved over to a stack of four very old looking messily bound collections of papers and placed them in a bag for her.

“These have only been seen by previous Temple Magus here. Each of these focus on big Order events that occurred in each century. From top to bottom they each focus on one century starting from the nineteenth back till the sixteenth. Ms. Brandt and her brother are leading the others to search for any mentions of Ishtar. I thought this would be a good starting point however, our predecessors should have documented it in here if they had banished her.”

“Good work.” She said as they both began walking towards the doorway so the students couldn’t overhear them. “We’ll go through these this evening and touch base tomorrow. If Ms. Brandt or her brother…?” She paused looking over at the girl across the room standing close to another student, waiting for the other Magus to provide the name.

“Fynn, he was the Magistratus that protected her. She was able to heal him, and together they made it back to the Temple. I was considering promoting her to Magistratus next quarter…”

Sensing the eyes on her, Emile looked up and seeing the Grand Magus watching her gave a bright smile before nudging her brother and trying to point without being obvious. Vera met the younger man’s eyes and saw guarded curiosity and hope as he stepped closer to his sister, both turning back to the books in front of them.

“See that you do, she’s the kind of member we’re looking for. I’ll have my phone on if they find anything. If there’s nothing else, I will see you tomorrow around noon.”

Vera took the bag from him and walked towards the car. She frowned slightly as she saw Hamish in the passenger seat leaning forward as if he was trying to catch his breath. As she got closer however, he lifted his head and sent her a small smile that eased her worry.

When Hamish had gotten to the car, the images of the small child started again. Vera laughing as she held the girl above her head and brought the giggling face to her own. The two of them curled up in bed with the little girl sleeping between them. Sitting together on a checkered blanket in the park, mother and daughter wearing matching floppy sun hats. He curled in on himself as he attempted to snuff out the visions.

He didn’t want kids so why couldn’t he stop thinking about Vera holding their baby girl? Why did the visions leave an ache in his chest that made it difficult to breathe? He hadn’t thought about kids since Cassie made him a Knight. It was an easy dream to give up, he had never felt comfortable around the things.

The possibility of children hadn’t even crossed his mind when they’d slept together, he didn’t even think of asking if she was taking anything. He was praying she was as he tried to count the days between and if he’d ever smelled blood from her. He’d been around her almost every day in some capacity since they had first slept together and he was positive the only time he’d ever caught a scent of blood was when she was injured. It was true, he hadn’t seen her for a week before yesterday, so it was possible she’d bled then.

 _‘I wouldn’t let anything happen to them.’_ Tundra whispered to him and Hamish felt a hint of sadness coming from the wolf. He wasn’t sure if it was because of Hamish’s insistence on not having kids or that Tundra thought Hamish believed he wouldn’t be able to protect them if he did. 

_‘I know._ ’ He responded just as he heard Vera’s steps and pulled himself upright to look at her. She was worried and exhausted, but even still she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

He carried the bag of bound journals back to their suite after they arrived and set them down on the living room table before going over to make her a drink.

“It’s later.” She had allowed him to be silent for the entire, albeit short car ride, but her concern over his almost panic attack had been steadily climbing. She watched as Hamish froze, and the drink he was preparing for her overflowed. He cursed under his breath and moved to grab a towel to clean the mess.

“You almost lost control in his office; I need to know what happened so we can avoid it happening again.” The soft tone lessened the harshness of her words, but he still kept his back to her.

“Nothing happened, I just got sidetracked for a minute watching you with her. Seeing you comfort her was…I wasn’t expecting…” He sighed and his hands clenched as the little girls face flashed behind his eyes again.

“I don’t understand why that would cause you to panic. The girl was obviously terrified and in pain so I did what I could to help her. I’m not a robot Hamish. I know everyone else thinks I am, but I thought you knew better.” She snapped at him before grabbing the bag of books and heading towards her room, shutting the door behind her. Why did everyone act like she was an emotionless drone incapable of feeling others pain just because she didn’t let them crush her.

Hamish sighed deeply and grabbed her drink, knocking gently on her door before entering. Her back was to him as she changed into more comfortable clothing and he set the glass down on the side table.

“It wasn’t you comforting her Vera. For some reason it made me think about you with a child and that made me realize that we haven’t used protection any of the times we’ve been together. I panicked for a minute there thinking about it and the possibility that you could be pregnant.” He watched as her entire body grew rigid before her shoulders dropped as if a huge weight had been placed on them and all the fight left her body. He couldn’t stop himself from moving towards her and placing his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently.

“You’re not pregnant are you…?” He should’ve planned out what he’d said better. Even he was thinking it was a possibility and he just told her he’d almost had a panic attack _thinking_ she was pregnant. If she was, she would definitely be even more concerned about telling him now.

“You don’t need to worry about that, there’s no way I could be pregnant. I made sure of that years ago when I first learned the incantation. There’s no way of undoing it, so no need to concern yourself, there will never be any surprises.” She hadn’t thought about the incantation she’d cast on herself in years. It made her entire reproductive system completely and irreversibly frozen.

It was only a few years after Alexandra’s death, her second year with The Order when she'd stumbled across the incantation and in her grief she’d enacted it before thinking she may change her mind one day about having another child.

She hadn’t in the past sixteen years, and even less now that she was dying. But having to tell someone else, who had apparently pictured it, was harder than she thought it’d be, even though he’d panicked at the thought. Especially when she lifted her head and met his pained expression.

“I didn’t want to go through that again.” She shrugged as if it didn’t bother her even though she was sure he saw her anguish before she stepped out of his grip, unwilling to let him pity her, and crawled into bed with one of the books.

The pain Hamish, and Tundra, felt at Vera’s confession kept him frozen for several minutes. Even though he’d convinced himself he didn’t want to have kids, he was still seeing flashes of a future with Vera and that little girl and it hurt more than he thought possible to have it snatched away so completely. He could feel his vision swimming slightly and blinked rapidly to clear it. He didn’t want to add to Vera’s pain with his own.

Turning towards the bed he caught her watching him out of the corner of her eye before she quickly looked back towards the book. “What century would you like me to start with?” She handed him the one covering the seventeenth century and he started walking out of the room to give her space.

“You can stay…if you want.” It was an almost silent plea by her standards and Hamish turned back around and removed his shoes before climbing in beside her to start reading.

It wasn’t long after they started reading that they both started to drift off. Their books laid open as they unconsciously gravitated towards the other, seeking comfort and warmth.

Neither one noticed the other presence in the room, nor it’s unwavering gaze that had been focused on them since their arrival at the Temple earlier that day.

* * *

Fynn Brandt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I hated writing it and felt so bad for both of them, but I could absolutely see a young Vera just a few years after losing Ally, completely alone and in her grief enacting an incantation to ensure she never experiences that pain again. 
> 
> And there's a LOT left to the story, anything can still happen...well, maybe (I'm currently planning out Ch. 52).
> 
> Who is in the room with them? The next few chapters are going to be emotional and FILLED with information so we can officially get everything kicked off for the arch.


	27. Journals Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are incredible! And I'd like to apologize again for that crushing bit of news last chapter...It's going to be a little rough for the two of them for the next few chapters...bear with me.
> 
> A bunch of information is going to be coming your way with the next three chapters, I'm trying to space them it out a bit so it's not information overload.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Vera was dreaming again, there was something or someone after her. She looked around frantically, feeling the hairs on her neck raise as she felt the eyes on her. The air was growing thicker, her breaths becoming erratic. She whipped her head around at the sound of a twig snapping and was met with illuminated golden eyes staring back at her less than a foot from her face.

Gasping for breath, she shot awake. She felt Hamish sit up beside her and look around for the threat. Seeing none, he turned back to her and brought a hand up to rub her back in soothing motions.

“Are you alright?” Hamish looked over at the clock and was surprised to see it was already four in the morning. He watched as Vera got her breathing under control and ran her hand through her hair to pull back the damp strands that were stuck to her forehead and neck.

“Fine.” She snapped shrugging his hand off of her. Immediately regretting taking her frustration out on him, she let out a heavy sign and softened her tone. “I’m fine, go back to sleep. I’m going to take a shower.” He watched as she got up without looking at him, clearly shaken by whatever she’d seen. He thought to accompany her, but as she gathered her items, he realized she needed time to make sense of whatever was bothering her.

Any offer of comfort would surely be rejected. Instead, he picked up the journal and started reading.

* * *

_**1608** – The Elector has confirmed Frederick IV for Grand Magus, a military alliance under Order rule has been established._

_**1613** – Grand Magus James I’s daughter, Elizabeth Stuart, has married one of the Electors, cementing the Council’s unwavering support. _

_Note: The result of unchecked power has led to a long and bloody war._

_**1619** – Elector has instilled Ferdinand II as Grand Magus after James I continued causing tensions to mount, encouraging the war. _

_Elector has chosen to instill Ferdinand II as Holy Roman Emperor in an attempt to end the war._

* * *

_**1631** \- Imperium granted in an effort to end the growing magical war initiated by previous Magus James I._

_Ferdinand II performed the Obcidione Caedo in Magdeburg, killing twenty thousand of the thirty thousand opposing forces._

_Despite the slaughter, we continue to suffer. We fear the extinction of our Order._

_**1646** – Peace treaty negotiations to end the war have begun under Grand Magus and Holy Roman Emperor Ferdinand III._

* * *

_**1648** \- Official peace treaty signed; the war has finally ended. The Council is meeting to discuss new rules._

_Note: With nearly a quarter of the population destroyed from the war enacted by Grand Magus James I, it has been decreed that no familial relations be made between Council and Grand Magus. These organizations must stay separate to ensure power is not left unchecked._

* * *

_**1687** – The Council suspects Grand Magus Leopold I is teaching his young son, Joseph I, the ways of The Order. It is unclear if action needs to be taken as the nine-year old takes the Throne of Hungry._

_**1689** – We have confronted the Magus about grooming his son and risking the secrecy of The Order as well as creating too fanatical of a member as the young King takes the throne of Germany at eleven._

_We have attempted to erase the memories from the boy, but it seems to not have an effect._

_Note: More research needs to be done on memory modification before we can rely on it. Further action with the boy is to be taken._

_In an effort to save her son, Empress Eleonore, wife of the Grand Magus has offered a solution to temper her son's lust for power. The offer of a union between her son and Duchess Amalie has put the Council on opposing sides._

_Some of us feel that having a wolf in such a position will leave us wide open for a new, more dangerous magical war._

_Note: Much is still unknown about their existence and their true power._

_Empress Eleonore argued long that the young Duchess was one of their brightest and most loyal members they had. She argued that Amalie’s devotion to The Order above all else will ensure her son’s loyalty to it as well._

_With the Council convinced and ensuring all parties were in agreement, the union between Archduke Joseph I and Duchess Wilhelmine Amalie has been signed._

* * *

_**Twenty-fourth day of February 1699** – Joseph I and Wilhelmine Amalie wed. Joseph I elected Grand Magus due to his father stepping down. _

_Note: Leopold will retain the rank of Holy Roman Empire until Elector is sure Joseph I can be trusted with the posting._

_The Council continues to watch the couple closely, their magical power is unlike anything we’ve seen before, and it worries us all. They have been loyal so far, but the news of the coming birth of their child concerns us._

_Knowing the power of the two leaders, and Amalie’s lineage, it has brought the question of whether we can allow the wolf child to be born or is its existence is too much of a threat._

_The child is not expected to arrive until the twelfth month, leaving the Council four to make a determination on its fate._

_I fear if we decide to terminate, Amalie and her husband will turn from us and declare war on The Order. The others do not share my worry. They are too concerned with what this child could mean for us all._

_**Tenth day of November 1699** \- The Council has determined the child must be killed to protect us all, we are to confront the Grand Magus and Empress this night._

_Empress Amalie stopped the Grand Magus from killing us. She has bargained for her child and any child in the future._

_Note: She has informed us that the wolf will not be present until the child reaches their tenth year when the curse becomes active._

_In addition to knowledge about the werewolves, she has formulated a plan to solidify Order reign by creating a powerful Grimoire with the Grand Magus. The Council will be present for every meeting over the coming years to ensure satisfaction._

_The Council’s lust for new power that will end any future magical wars has overwhelmed their fear of the child. They have agreed to not harm the child._

_**Eight day of December 1699** – Maria Josepha has been born and the Council has met in secret. The child will be watched over the next few years._

_If she begins to display power at a young age like her father had or shows signs of the wolf before her tenth year they plan to kill her._

_There is also talk among many that once the grimoire is completed, Amalie and any child born to her will be killed._

_Note: We cannot allow the wolves to remain in power, their strength is too great. Our plan is to neutralize any threat before the children come of age. The wolf hybrids cannot be allowed to exist after we have the grimoire, they could destroy The Order._

* * *

Hamish slammed the journal down glaring at the page with fury, trying to calm himself as well as Tundra. At first, he’d been skimming the entries hoping to find mention of Ishtar, demons or rituals performed, but when he saw the name of Amalie’s husband, he focused on the entries.

She was loyal to The Order, had created the Vade Maecum for them and saved their lives from The Grand Magus at the time, her own husband. And _still_ they sought to kill her child! All because it was the offspring of a wolf and practitioner. Tundra was raging within him at the notion of a pup being killed over fear of what it could become.

Tundra became even more agitated as Hamish involuntarily imagined the reaction the Council today would take if Vera and him were to inform them they were going to have a child.

She was the strongest practitioner The Order had by far, and with the strength of being a werewolf he was right up there with power that was just waiting to be refined. Their child would likely be stronger than both of them combined. The thought of anyone coming for his and Vera’s child sent him into a blinding rage.

In his fury over someone ripping the little blonde baby from Vera’s arms and killing her in front of them erased the rational part of his mind that told him there would _never_ be a child for them to harm. The fact that it was impossible for Vera to carry his child could not compete with the images of their baby girl being taken from Vera as she screamed in his arms for them not to hurt their baby.

 _I will kill anyone that dare even_ think _of touching our child! Any of our children!_ He was seething, fists clenching and unclenching as he imagined the other wolves and any of their possible children, his nieces and nephews being slaughtered.

His wrath so focused internally, he didn’t sense Vera approaching. When he saw a figure pass in the corner of his eye he saw red. Snarling at the threat to Vera and their child he lunged off of the bed and had her pinned against the wall before she’d even finished looking up.

“Touch them and you die!” He squeezed the throat of the attacker as his canines elongated, saliva beginning to drip from one as he raised the murder further up the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!! Next chapter is going to focus on Hamish and Vera so I wanted all of that to be in one place. 
> 
> For anyone still reading...I swear, it will get better...


	28. Empress Amalie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, so sorry for that cliff hanger but thank you sooo much for the reviews.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Vera’s eyes were wide with fear as she tried to breathe through the grip he had on her throat. Her fingers were clawing at the hand locked around her as her feet left the ground. She barely managed to get his name out in a panicked whisper, but it was enough.

His eyes cleared and his hand released its hold on her throat as if he’d been burned allowing her to drop heavily to the ground. Horror at what he’d just done covered his face as he stumbled back from her. Coughing, Vera took in deep puffs of air as she rubbed her sore neck. She looked up at Hamish to see him whispering to himself as his head shook back and forth.

She watched his head snap towards her again in shock and made to run from the room. “Wait!” She attempted to shout through her wheezing, holding her hand out in front of her trying to block his path from her position on the ground. “Wait.” She said quieter as she pushed herself up off the ground when he hesitated at her command.

“Sit. Explain to me what just happened.”

Hamish couldn’t believe what he’d just done to her. How close he’d come to actually hurting her, _killing_ her just now in his fury. Fury over something that wasn’t even a possibility. He sank into the chair in the corner of the room and dropped his head into his hands.

 _‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’_ Tundra apologized as he unwillingly flooded Hamish with confusing snippets of a past centuries before his time. Two children screaming in terror as they ran from the men hunting them through the woods.

Tundra knew them, they weren’t his, but they _were_ pups and they were run down like mongrels and butchered without remorse. Tundra couldn’t remember whose kids they were or how he knew them, but he remembered the fury and anguish when he’d found them slaughtered and left to rot in the woods.

“Hamish…?” Vera was hesitant to approach him in this state. Something had set him off to the point he hadn’t recognized her. When she’d been pinned against the wall, she had been positive that in his trance he was going to kill her. When he didn’t respond and just clasped his hair tighter, she looked over the room attempting to find out what it was that had him reacting like this.

Seeing the open journal, she slowly approached it and read over the pages. She understood his anger, she felt it herself at the thought of The Order she was a part of murdering a baby over fear. But he was the leader of the wolves. If any of them had children, the possibility of The Order attempting to hunt them down and kill them because of apprehension was real. Leaving the book open, she turned and walked to stand in front of him.

“You don’t need to worry about your children Hamish, at least not while I’m around. I won’t let anyone harm them.” Vera felt pain lance through her unexpectedly and had to take a breath to steady herself. Why was the idea of him having kids in the future so painful to her? Deep down she knew why and was trying to ignore it.

She couldn’t have kids so if he was thinking about them, which obviously he was, he was imagining them with someone else because he _knew_ she couldn’t have any.

He reached out and pulled her in with his hands on her hips, resting his head against her stomach as he took shaking breaths, trying to ground himself to the present. She allowed herself to run her fingers through his hair in an attempt to give him some comfort. They stayed that way for several minutes before she felt the tension slowly start to lift from him.

Her gentle caress of his hair faltered when she felt him shift slightly so he could place a lingering kiss to her abdomen. “It’s not my children I’m worried about Vera, I won’t be having any.” He whispered and Vera tensed under his palms.

He couldn’t be implying what she thought he was. He couldn’t be suggesting that he was giving up on having kids because of _her_ inability to have them. His broken tone and actions seemed to suggest exactly that, however. Fear and hurt raced through her at the implication.

He felt her grow stiff beneath his hold and he cursed himself silently for allowing the slip up. His fingers subconsciously dug into her hips further as she went to step back. She broke the hold and turned her back on him. The idea that he was trying to picture a future with her that was impossible in more than one way terrified her.

“Tundra’s memories…they’re warped, but The Council threatening to hunt down Amalie’s child just because they were scared of it brought flashes back. Two little boys, maybe six or seven years old were hunted down, slaughtered and left to rot in the woods like trash. Just because they were wolf pups. They weren’t his, but he knew them, was close to them and he was the one that found them.

“I worry about the Knight’s I’m supposed to protect. Of them having kids that are chased down the same way. Of failing them like Tundra had in the past. I trust you Vera, but we both know most in The Order still want us dead. Do you honestly believe that if Jack or Randall were to have a child that The Council wouldn’t order the death of it?”

Vera felt another stab of pain accompanied with fear when he left himself out of having kids. She was being selfish for continuing whatever was between them. She should let him go now, make it clear there was no future for them so he could move on and find someone else. Someone that wasn’t broken and would be worthy of his affection. Someone that wasn’t living on borrowed time and actually able to give him children. Someone that could give him a future he deserved.

She turned to confront him, but the words died in her throat at the look he was giving her. He looked devastated and lost. She couldn’t bring herself to break him further. Releasing a shuddering breath, she shoved her guilt down and did what she could to ease his pain for the time being. There would be time later for her to make him see she wasn’t worth it.

“Do you doubt that I’ll be able to keep them safe? Not everyone in The Order is against the wolves and I’m working to increase that number every day. I know several of the strongest members would fight if it came down to it. They would not support the murder of an innocent child just because their parent is a werewolf. If it ever comes down to it, you knights wouldn’t be fighting alone.” It was difficult, but she was able to hide her worry from him at the knowledge that _she_ likely wouldn’t be alive by the time any of them had any children. Still she believed if she laid enough groundwork before she succumbed to the cancer, they would be protected.

Hamish met her steady gaze and felt himself being comforted by her conviction. He didn’t doubt that as long as she was leading The Order, she would do everything in her power to make sure the wolves and any children would be protected. He was just about to respond when he noticed movement on the bed. It looked as if a strong breeze was sweeping over one of the journals, its pages moving slightly, but the windows were shut.

“Are you doing that?” He asked standing and moving between her and the book. He felt her step around slightly so she could see what was happening before pulling him back a step.

“Stay back.” She instructed stepping in front of him. Unable to locate a knife, she braced herself for the coming nausea and brought both hands up in front of her.

 _“Potegatur locus hic. Resonare minas invisibilia.”_ Protection and echo incantation set she changed her stance and held out one hand palm facing the bed. _“Se revelare verum tuae”_

Suddenly there was a woman draped in red garments that was bent over the journal, long curly black hair falling around her. The speed at which she stood and looked towards them surprised them both. Startled vibrant green eyes roved over both of them before shifting to a bright gold. A second later and she was gone.

Vera let out a breath as she stumbled backwards and collided with Hamish’s chest. She registered his hands grabbing her arms, but she was lost in her thoughts. She knew those eyes; they were the same haunting eyes from her nightmare. Whoever that woman was, she had been trying to penetrate her mind while she slept.

Looking towards Hamish to ensure he was alright, she saw his astonished expression, his hands digging into her arms gently.

 _“That’s not possible.”_ Tundra knew the face as soon as he’d seen it. Memories still vague, but he _knew_ who the woman was beyond a shadow of a doubt. It had been centuries, how was she still alive?

“Hamish!” Vera’s raised voice finally broke through and he moved his focus to her concerned gaze. “What is it, what’s wrong?” Vera let out a relieved breath when he finally broke from the trance.

“Tundra recognized her…that was Empress Amalie. How can she be alive after centuries have passed?”

Vera shook her head in disbelief. “No, she can’t be. I’ve seen pictures of her, and that woman was not the same one that is in all the pictures…unless she used a glamor on herself? But even then, there’s no spell I know that can extend one’s life like that. It can’t be her…”

“We’re talking about someone that helped create the Vade Maecum, the most powerful grimoire in existence. Are we really going to put limits on things she may be able to do? I don’t know how or why, but I promise you, that woman we just saw is Empress Amalie, Tundra recognized her the second he saw her face.”

“Why is she here?”

“I don’t know, but she seemed to be interested in the journal.” Hamish answered as he walked over to the book Amalie had been hovering over. After inspecting it and not sensing any threats, he picked it up and brought it to the end of the bed before sitting down.

Vera still wary over the idea that someone who had betrayed The Order centuries ago was still around and trying to enter her mind walked over and sat beside him to read over the journal she seemed so interested in.

Hamish shifted slightly so his body was angled towards her as he brought the book between them to begin reading.

* * *

* _Potegatur locus hic –_ This place will be protected

 _* Resonare minas invisibilia –_ Echo threats unseen

 _* Se revelare verum tuae –_ Reveal your true self

* * *

Empress Amalie - Yes I know she looks different in history, but hey, anything is possible with magic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be a big information unload again, setting the groundwork for the plot :)


	29. Journals Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is all information from the journal. Each break is supposed to be read as a different person recording it. I went through and picked out all different fonts in the word document...only to realize it was a waste as they're not recognized here :/

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

 **_January 8, 1700_ ** _, Amalie and Joseph have met with the Council. Work on the Grimoire is to begin within the week._

_They have said it will be known as The Vade Maecum Infernal._

_Their daughter is rarely from their site but appears to act like any normal child._

_We are still wary of its existence and will continue to monitor closely._

_**April 29, 1700** , The Council is growing wary as the Grand Magus proudly informs us of the expectation of another child in the tenth month. _

_Maria Josepha continues to act like any other infant._

_Amalie senses our concern and has offered to work on an incantation that can neutralize the power of a wolf to appear as less of a threat._

_Appeased, The Council agrees to not harm her children._

_**August 6, 1700** , as the birth of our Grand Magus’ second child comes closer, a new threat has arisen. _

_There have been several attacks throughout the castle and surrounding homes._

_People being attacked and having their hearts ripped out._

_We have confronted Amalie and Joseph and they agreed to deal with the threat._

_**October 22, 1700** , Amalie welcomed a son, Leopold Joseph, while the Grand Magus has found the threat. _

_He has captured a wolf in the act and brought it back for interrogation._

_Leopold and Maria have been taken from Amalie until we can determine whether or not she is responsible for the wolf's actions._

_**November 3, 1700** , The wolf is set to be executed publicly tomorrow. _

_After using an incantation Amalie created from the Grimoire, we have been able to determine Amalie’s innocence as well as the information that there are five other wolves._

_They have sensed the magic of the Grimoire and joined together to try to stop its creation._

_We cannot let this happen; its power is too great to lose._

_This wolf calls himself Nightwing rather than his given name of Leon._

_We were able to get five names from the wolf: Tundra, Midnight, Silverback, Timber and Greybeard._

_We know Tundra to be their leader and the reason none of the wolves knew each other’s true names, to prevent exactly this._

_Still, we know where they are hiding._

_We plan to execute the prisoner and hunt them down._

_**November 10, 1700** , we have discovered that one of the Council members, Emerson, present during the interrogation was one of the wolves. _

_Due to the curse being passed down by lineage and that his sister and two boys have also gone missing, we know them to be wolves as well._

_We believe him to be Tundra and have sent a hunting party after them._

_We suspect they may attempt to head east towards the colonies with the other four after the public execution of their comrade._

_**January 4, 1701,** We have neutralized Emerson’s sister and her boys. _

_We left the boys for Emerson to find in an effort to stop the continued attacks from the wolves._

_I must admit I feel as if I lost part of my soul seeing the lifeless eyes of the two boys, no more than six and seven._

_I didn’t agree with leaving their corpses to rot in the woods, but the Magus said we must show we will not submit._

_**April 7, 1701** , There is to be another wolf sired by Amalie and Joseph, its birth is expected around Leopold’s first year. T_

_he Council is less fearful over the three hybrids, it seems that The Grand Magus’ hatred of the other wolves is growing as the Vade Maecum’s creation continues._

_Their attacks have become less frequent since the slaughter of the two young pups._

_Still he is not satisfied they have continued to exist._

_**August 4, 1701,** The Vade Maecum Infernal has been completed and the Grand Magus has gained Council’s full support and Imperium has been given. _

_He has bound himself to the book with the sacrifice of his own son, ensuring the Wolves will never gain power over it._

_With the memory enchantment perfected, Amalie’s memories have been altered to believe her son was killed in an attack from the Wolves in retribution over the death of their own pups._

_In her anger and grief, her loyalty to The Order and against the wolves have been solidified._

_She has sent out an extermination order for Emerson as well as given us names of known wolves._

_Note: The Magus has promised death to any that inform Amalie of the truth of her son's death or attempts to harm his remaining children._

_**October 22, 1701,** Amalie and the Magus welcome their second daughter, Maria Amalia. _

_Neither daughter has left Amalie since the death of her son._

_Her rage grows by the day._

_I fear her memory returning one day and her wrath being unleashed on us all._

_**May 5, 1705** , The Magus has taken the title of Holy Roman Emperor, no longer content to be ruled by another in any sense of the word. _

_The rest of the Council support his claim as they have benefited greatly and rule all of Germany._

_Amalie and her daughters have been mostly abandoned by Joseph in his thirst for power._

_She continues to stay close to her daughters and has started teaching her eldest of the Wolf that will come out on the anniversary of her tenth year._

**_November 17, 1709_ ** _. I am haunted by what I have witnessed and taken part in over the past decade._

_I feel The Order has become corrupted under the inhuman ruling of the Magus and I feared recording the atrocities over the years._

_I am constantly woken by the dead eyes of the two wolf pups, the babes we slaughtered._

_When I look at Amalie all I can see is her ten-month-old son bleeding out on the altar beside the accursed grimoire._

_As Maria Josepha’s wolf is coming closer to becoming active, I feel I cannot hide what I’ve done from Amalie much longer._

_I worry for the loss of another innocent child and must come clean to save my immortal soul._

_After the years I will gladly welcome death._

* * *

**_February 12 th, 1710_ ** _. Empress Amalie has been taken prisoner._

 _S_ _he has murdered Councilor Grayson and attempted to kill The Magus._

_We discovered Grayson informed her of the true cause of her son’s death, and she has sought revenge._

_The Magus has attempted to modify her memory again, but it no longer has any effect._

_We believe she has created an enchantment on herself to make the modification null._

_The Emperor enchanted her cell with her own spells that she provided The Order with to hold the wolves._

_Her daughters have been separated from her and sent east, from the Castle._

_She has promised to kill us all, but The Magus has shown how empty her threats are now that she is powerless within her cell._

_The Magus has said he plans to experiment on her to find out how the curse works to ensure the wolves will never be a threat again._

* * *

**_February 26, 1710_ ** _. So many have died._

_Amalie followed through with her threat._

_She was able to turn her magic in on herself and stop the flow._

_Over the fortnight she was kept prisoner, she was able to modify The Excidium, using her own body._

_The shockwave she released destroyed the castle and much of the area surrounding it, but she remained unharmed with the modifications._

_The Magus was far enough from the epicenter of the explosion that he survived thankfully, but while he was unconscious, she stole The Vade Maecum and fled._

_The Emperor was able to create enchanted chains that prevent the wolf from coming out has ordered the extermination of all wolves._

_Werewolf Witch Trials have finally been enacted much to the joy of The Order._

_The magic of the wolves was right to be feared._

_Note: We have sent members to collect his daughters in an effort to flush Amalie out of hiding._

_**March 1, 1710**. Word of a Demon has reached us. We are sending scouts to investigate._

**_March 10, 1710_ ** _Our members have informed us that Amalie got to her daughters first, the eldest was found dead._

_We believe she had been dead for at least a week before they found her._

_Note: We continue to search mother and daughter._

**_March 19, 1710_ ** _. Our scouts have been found deceased._

_The Magus viewed their last visions and has determined the demon to be one of the nine Emperor class demons._

_She calls herself Ishtar and is more powerful than any demon we’ve encountered._

_The Magus has begun searching for information on who she is and how we can defeat her._

**_April 13, 1710_ ** _. Records have been discovered in Amalie’s familial tomb._

_Ishtar cursed one of Amalie’s ancestors, a previous Grand Magus centuries back._

_He summoned her for power, and she became infatuated with him._

_He rejected her and demanded she grant him unlimited power._

_In granting his demand, Gilgamesh became the first werewolf._

_He would forever bear a blood curse that would pass to any born unto him._

_We believe Amalie summoned her in an attempt to defeat The Order._

_The Magus has demanded more Werewolf Trials take place._

_He wants all of the wolves slaughtered._

**_April 29, 1710_ ** _. Maria Amalia has been found in Morbach._

_She was attempting to flee; we believe she meant to travel to the Colonies where the other Wolves have been spotted._

_With the child captured, it has been announced throughout the country that she is to be executed at weeks end._

_The Magus believes Amalie will show to try to save her last remaining child._

_Note: Most of the Council feels she is the one responsible for her other daughter’s death and will do nothing now that she has the Vade Maecum._

**_May 5, 1710_ ** _. Maria Amalia was put to death this morning._

_A violent earthquake accompanied by wind currents so strong we were forced to take shelter followed the burning of her body._

_Now that things have calmed, we have received reports of a white wolf being seen cradling the burnt body beside the destroyed pyre._

_Amalie did come, but she was too late._

_The destruction and strength she displayed through the force of the winds confirms to many on The Council that she is working with Ishtar._

_A candle has been placed beside the demolished pyre, no one has been able to remove it or extinguish the fire._

_Note: Renewed efforts have been put in place for Amalie’s capture and Ishtar’s banishment._

* * *

**_August 3, 1710_ ** _. Ishtar has begun to grow in power, converting our enemies to her disciples._

_She has begun to call herself a goddess and many are falling at her feet for fear for being another victim of her wrath._

_We have sent trackers south, towards the Black Forest._

_It is said to hold unlimited power within and although entry has been forbidden to enter by decree of the second Grand Magus after the demon wars, we have become desperate._

_Ishtar continues to decimate our population while seeding our enemies with offspring to dominate us in the growing years._

**_September 29, 1710_ ** _. No solution has been found for Ishtar yet, none of our trackers have returned._

_We have sent more accompanied by scholars and only two from militia. We cannot spare more._

_Note: The Order has been successful in locating Amalie’s sister Charlotte._

_She had been hiding with a glamor spell, but a townsman saw when it failed and reported it to the militia._

_She was executed at midday._

_The wolf population is dwindling, despite Ishtar’s attempt to populate them._

* * *

**_May 23, 1712_ ** _. Much has happened in the last eighteen months. The Order has finally begun to rebuild._

_Most of The Order were killed in Ishtar’s slaughter of April 1711 that claimed the life of Grand Magus Holy Roman Emperor Joseph 1._

_She had taken full control of the Palace and instilled herself as a goddess._

_My fellow members had been saved from the annihilation due to our travels in the Black Forest._

_Nothing could permeate the Magical barrier on the woods, even we felt the magic breaking our bones._

_In a complete twist of fate, we stumbled across a young girl who was residing within the Forest._

_When we explained our task to find a solution to stopping Ishtar, the girl managed to allow us entry._

_We still don’t understand how, but I suspect she may be one of the wolves in hiding._

_Our bones no longer quaked when we pushed against the barrier._

_We lost three to withdrawal._

_We searched for near a month, before an altar revealed itself._

_On top of the altar were eight identical golden rings encircling one wreathed in flames._

_The inscription spoke of The Draupnir._

_A power to be wielded by nine, over nine days, connected to nine realms._

_Eight of equal power, granting magic threefold as long as one remained bound._

_The middle was set aflame._

_Only able to be claimed by one both strong enough to harness the power of all nine realms and risk their life to wield it continuously for the full nine days, but never be able to claim the power for themselves._

_Three of our group, both of the militia as well as the eldest, died trying to obtain the flaming ring._

_Flames burning their way over their bodies that could not be stopped._

_Leanna, the youngest and most selfless of us reached out while we panicked and was able to claim it, immediately putting out the flames._

_The other rings were taken by the surviving members and we began the long trek out of the magical Forest._

_Even through we’d already been through it, the woods play tricks on you and change constantly._

_Even when us lesser ringbearers attempted to find our way using our magic, it took us over a month to escape._

_The ritual was performed over nine days and required an unwilling human sacrifice each night to banish her from each realm._

_Each realm’s banishment took three hours of ritual casting of the banishment binding spell._

_As the nights grew on, we could see the effect of the power on us all._

_We craved everything._

_Sleep, food, wine, sex._

_Nothing could be satiated while we wore the rings and with the power coursing through us while wearing the rings, we could’ve have whatever we wanted._

_The eight of us were able to remove the rings between rituals to give rest to our bodies, although temptation grew each day to continue to wear them._

_Leanna wasn’t so lucky._

_She wanted everything just like us, but the ring had to remain as the connection between nights to keep her bound within each realm._

_The only time she was given reprieve was when she passed out from exhaustion._

_She was powerful, but not as disciplined in regulating control._

_S_ _he couldn’t focus the power to pull from it at the right time and ease it back when it wasn’t needed._

_As we finished the banishment of the sixth realm, she collapsed in convulsions._

_The constant level of magic was killing her like the inscription warned._

_Blood began to flow from her nose accompanying the convulsions the seventh night._

_From her ears the eighth night._

_She held on as long as she could, but the convulsions turned to vomiting blood the ninth night._

_We removed the ring and it immediately disappeared, but the damage was too great._

_Ishtar was banished, but my wife was lost._

_I immediately removed my ring in disgust, expecting it to disappear like Leanna’s had, but it remained heavy in my hand._

_Turning to the others, we came to an agreement that the rings must be kept hidden, but together if ever we should need them again._

_It was then we noticed Konrad had fled with his ring._

_We should’ve seen it coming, Dipple never wanted to remove his ring after the ceremonies._

_He has taken up residence in his ancestor’s castle with enchantments to powerful for us to break._

_The remaining seven rings have been locked away in the vault with a powerful enchantment only able to be broken by five true of strength and spirit_.

* * *

_**January 3, 1739** – A box has been found in the vault that we believe to be the rings earlier texts have spoken about, but none can open it. _

_We have tried every incantation one can think of and nothing works._

_Council will continue to try to open it, fearing the wolves still in possession of the Vade Maecum infernal._

_**April 24, 1742** – Rumors from the West have reached The Council telling of former Empress Amalie’s death. _

_We are unsure if the traitor has been neutralized as there is no body to confirm it._

_Due to this uncertainty, we will continue with the Werewolf trials, ensuring no threats come against us again._

_**March 12, 1752** – There have been no wolf sightings in the last decade…_

* * *

The journal continued on after that, but neither Hamish nor Vera continued reading. They sat there absorbing what they’d learned from the collection of pages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Next chapter is their reactions...Hamish/Tundra aren't going to do so well.
> 
> Most of the dates of births/deaths are actually true (except Amalie's daughters who I killed off earlier to suit the story.) All of Amalie's family mentioned as well as her husband are all real people in history.
> 
> Anyone know who Konrad Dipple is and the myths surrounding him? If so you can make a guess where I'll be taking you with that one, if not you'll find out in I think 2 chapters :P


	30. Tundra's Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one wrote itself a bit differently than I planned, but I think you'll all like where it went anyways...I hope.

CHAPTER THIRTY

They found a huge part of the solution to Ishtar, but in those few decades so much had happened. Vera was startled out of her thoughts when Hamish violently slammed the journal shut. She looked up to see a flurry of emotions playing on his face, but the constants were sorrow and anger. She lifted a hand and attempted to place it on his upper arm in silent support, but he immediately shook it off and stood abruptly.

She watched her hand fall to the bed beside her as he left the room without a second glance. She wanted to try to help him process what they’d learned, but she didn’t know how. Not only was showing comfort a newer concept for her, but she was having trouble wrapping her own mind around the new information. How could she possibly help someone who’d lived through it but had their memory corrupted?

In an effort to not shut down with the feeling of helplessness, she focused on making a list of what needed to be done to stop the threats coming at them from every angle, focusing on the most concerning threat first, Ishtar.

They needed to find the box with the seven rings and attempt to open it, hopefully it was in the vault. They needed to find out who Konrad Dipple was and where his family castle was and try to locate the ring he’d taken. They needed to locate the master ring, which she was hoping wasn’t back in the Black Forest like she suspected. She needed to select eight other practitioners to risk the lesser rings effects and rituals. And they needed to locate nine sacrifices, she hoped to hit Praxis with this one.

Simplified list completed; her mind kept going back to the passage about the effects the rings had. Knowing she was the only one able to wield the master ring she dreaded what it would do to her. Not only would she likely lose her inhibitions, but it would at the bare minimum speed up the cancer killing her.

If the ring didn’t kill her outright like it had Leanna, that much magic coursing through her would surely kill her within a month, two tops. She knew Hamish would fight her on it, fearing for her safety but as she was already dying. There was no way she would risk someone else, especially him. She was the _only_ choice.

A brief hope that it killed her outright so she wouldn’t have to suffer a painful death crossed her mind before she banished it. There was still too much to do, she had to fight for as long as she could.

Her most concerning thought was that she was almost positive the master ring returned to the altar in the Black Forest. She hoped the author was right and a werewolf was all that was needed to breach its protective barrier. It wasn’t the thought of trekking through and camping in the woods that worried her. They just didn’t have months to search for it like the journal suggested.

Taking a deep breath, she looked to her alarm clock and saw it was nearing eight. Knowing Holger would already be at The Temple, she grabbed her phone to tell him of what they’d found.

 _“Grand Magus.”_ He greeted and Vera found herself rolling her eyes and smiling lightly at his insistence on showing respect by using her title. Hearing the clattering in the other room reminded her of the reason for the call and her smile fell from her face.

“Holger, we were able to find a few things while looking over the journal from the eighteenth century. You were right and they did record the banishment. I’ll go over everything when I arrive later, but in the meantime I need you to have your disciples start searching for a box that’s large enough to hold seven rings, they won’t be able to open it so it should be obvious.”

_“Of course, I’ll have the disciples start searching immediately.”_

“I will also need any reference you can find on Konrad Dipple, his familial home and texts that reference the Black Forest and the Draupnir.”

 _“Very well, is there anything else?”_ She could hear the disciples on the other end of the line and knew he had signaled them over so as not to waste any time.

“Not at the moment, I’ll be in in a couple hours.” They said goodbye and a hint of a smile grew as she heard him already giving direction before the line went dead. She’s not sure how long she sat there stuck in her mind, but the sound of dishes shattering brought her back to the present.

Standing, she cast a quick healing incantation on her throat to cover any possible bruises Hamish may have left from choking her and warily made her way to the kitchen unsure of what she’d find. 

* * *

Hamish couldn’t process the information he’d just learned, especially with Tundra spiraling within him. He felt Vera’s hand land on his arm, but it did nothing to soothe the chaos, only adding another sensory effect his brain couldn’t handle. He saw the hurt cross her face as he brushed her off but couldn’t bring himself to stay in the room.

He was too concerned he might hurt her with Tundra out of control inside him and so soon after almost attacking her he couldn’t risk it. He needed to calm the wolf down before he put her in more danger.

 _“They were my nephews! My sister! They butchered them because of me, and I can’t even remember their names!”_ Tundra’s howls of pain were enough that Hamish dropped to his knees in the living room.

_“You were trying to save everyone Tundra, you tried to get them out…”_

_“Then why were they still there?! Why did they stay there with me? Why can’t I remember?”_

Hamish felt broken with the wolf’s anguish. He didn’t know how to help him grieve for something he didn’t remember.

_“Am I the reason we’re like this? If they all died, why are we still here?”_

_“We’ll find answers Tundra, I promise. Once Ishtar and Amalie…”_

_“She hunted us down! She demanded the slaughter of hundreds of her own kind!”_ Rage was now the full force and Hamish felt his teeth and claws breaking through.

 _“Tundra, stop! Vera’s in the other room, please don’t let me hurt her again. Tundra, please!”_ Hamish was pleading with the wolf as he felt the bones in his back popping and the wolf begin prowling towards the woman.

 _“She leads The Order, the same one that would kill us all. She deserves…no!”_ Tundra froze just before he went to turn the corner to attack Vera in his blinded fury of The Order and relinquished control back to Hamish. _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_ Hamish wasn’t sure who Tundra was apologizing to, him or to Vera for lumping her in with those that slaughtered the wolf population. _“What happened to me?”_

 _“I don’t know, but I know Vera will help us find the answers. Trust that when we stop Ishtar and Amalie that we won’t stop until we find out what happened. But first we_ need _to stop Ishtar. We need to save Vera and the other Knight’s and I_ need _your help to do that.”_

 _“You’re right. Ishtar first, she’s the reason for our existence in the first place, perhaps she has the answers.”_ Hamish gave a relieved breath as he felt the wolf calm in his attempt to analyze everything relating to Ishtar that they’d learned. Vera was safe from him for now. _“I’m aware of my past now, I won’t get confused and hurt her again. Never again. She’s ours and I won’t fail you or her.”_

 _“I know.”_ And he did know, he felt the conviction coursing through him. Tundra wouldn’t be caught unaware again. Vera would be protected from everyone, including him. He stood and walked to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, still going over everything with Tundra.

It was just as he picked up both full mugs that the thought crossed both their minds. She was going to insist on wearing the master ring.

There’s no way she would let anyone else risk their lives and there wasn’t a single thing he would be able argue. He may have the same level of untapped power as she did, but just like Leanna he didn’t have the control yet and Vera knew it. She would not allow him to risk his life to save hers, especially when the rest of the world was depending on them making it through the entire nine days.

He could see her passing out like she had with Rogwan but with blood pouring out of her nose and ears as she shook in his arms. He heard the whooshing start in his ears as the mugs slipped from his numb fingers. He was able to brace himself before he fell and get his breathing under control enough to not succumb to the attack.

“Are you alright?” His face dropped and his hands tightened on the counter. Of course she would hear the cups and come check on him. She knew he left to get control of himself, and yet still she is risking him hurting her again just to make sure he’s okay. Just more evidence she wouldn’t let him bear the ring's burden.

“Fine, it just slipped.” He bent to begin picking up the large pieces, trying to avoid her gaze. He sighed as he heard her coming closer and her bare feet come into view. He tried to take his time cleaning the shards, but a quick incantation from her and the mugs were reformed.

Inhaling deeply, he grabbed each mug and stood, setting both down before turning to look at her. She was looking at him with barely veiled concern as she held a robe out for him. He looked at it for a minute without moving before meeting her concerned eyes.

Driven by the possibility that he may lose her, he was unable to stop himself from moving forward quickly. He brought both hands up to cradle her head as he kissed her desperately. It took Vera a second to catch up, but she responded to his kisses with equal intensity. Dropping the robe, she brought her hands up behind his neck and pulled him closer to her.

His hands fell from her head to her lower back, pulling her closer as he backed her against the wall. Lips never leaving hers, he quickly undid the tie to her rob and skimmed his hands down her sides. He broke the kiss just long enough to lift her legs off the ground and encourage her to wrap them around his waist.

She couldn’t hold in the contented sigh as his lips returned to hers and his hand dropped to her center gently. She pulled his head in tighter to her as she felt him testing her and couldn’t stop her nails digging into his back in pleasure as he pushed into her.

Supporting her with one hand on her ass he brought his other hand up to cradle the side of her face. He pulled away from her lips just far enough so he could meet her eyes, panted breaths mingling between them as he continued his steady pace.

He could see it in her eyes no matter how hard she was trying to hide it, she cared for him. A hell of a lot more then she could admit to herself right now. He could also see the fear in her eyes over it as she kept her gaze on him, unable to break away. Knowing she would run if he told her he loved her, he held the words back and hoped she would read it in his own eyes.

He watched as her face took on a broken image for a second before she furiously claimed his lips again. He poured every ounce of love he had into the kiss, breaking it only when she gave a soft whimper. Her eyes were conflicted, he could see fear, anguish and love in them. He was sure his matched.

Not breaking eye contact he leaned his forehead against hers. “Let go Vera, I’ll catch you. Every time.” His eyes closed tightly as she came, his name a whisper on her tongue. He knew it was as close to a love confession as she would allow for now. Promising to himself he would find some way to protect her from the coming danger he allowed himself to follow her, whispering her name between their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit sad, but also sweet. I was planning to go further into their reactions, but I felt like I was losing the characters so instead this focused on the biggest issues to them and reactions will flow within the resulting chapters.


	31. Konrad Dippel & Frankenstein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Vermish filled chapter and a bit more on where they will be going next :)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Vera held him as her tears threatened to fall. He cared for her too much, it wouldn’t be fair to let him fall anymore. She needed to let him go. And yet, she still couldn’t make herself do it. Instead she brought her lips to his again in a gentle lingering kiss. He needed comfort and she would give him what she could.

Hamish brought both hands to support her as he stepped away from the wall. She expected him to let her down, but he didn’t. Instead he slowly started back towards her bedroom meeting every gentle kiss with his own. He sat down on the side of the bed, keeping her balanced.

Pulling her in tighter against him they both moaned at the friction, but neither had any desire to speed things up. Both content to take their time to memorize the other. His mouth slowly kissing along her jaw, avoiding her ticklish spot and took her ear lobe between his teeth gently. He panted as loudly as she did at the tremble that coursed through her.

Her nails raked through his hair before trailing lower over his front, earning a low rumble of approval as he buried his face further into her neck, keeping his kisses gentle for once. She lifted just enough to guide him back into her, both releasing a hum of pleasure as he filled her. Her mouth dropping to his neck to litter open mouthed kisses as she slowly started to move.

Hamish brought both arms around her, holding her tightly to him as she moved. One hand trailed a barely there touch along her spine up into her hair to frame her head. She pulled away from his neck and kissed him again, her own hand mimicking his hold.

He felt her steady pace falter and knew she was close but was surprised when she pulled back on her own to gaze into his eyes. That same haunted look was there, but the love within was clear as day to him. He just wished he knew why she was so haunted by the idea. Something told him it was more than her past or the fact that they were facing down a demon.

Wanting to wipe the pain from her he leaned in and captured her lips again until they both were left spent and panting in each other’s arms. Hamish shifted further onto the bed so he could pull her back against him and hold her for the short time they were allowed before reality crashed in around them.

His grip tightened marginally as her phone rang, knowing reality wouldn’t wait any longer. He placed chaste kisses to her shoulder as Holger gave her an update on what they found so far.

_“We haven’t located the box yet and we’re still pulling texts, but one of our Acolytes found something online about Dipple that may be worth looking into while we go through the archives.”_

“It wouldn’t be the first time something made it online, what’d they find?” Vera knew she should sit up and put distance between her and Hamish while she took the call, but she just wanted a few more minutes of calm.

_“There was a Konrad Dippel born in Frankenstein Castle in 1673 and would return anytime he was in trouble. Rumored to be the inspiration for the novel. He was a known alchemist, but many in history believed him to be a sorcerer who made a pact with the devil. There’s reports that he still haunts the place, trying to locate the buried entrance to his laboratory where he is said to have performed horrendous experiments with corpses and virgins.”_

“That certainly sounds like necromancy.” She let out a frustrated sigh, she hated necromancers. “That does seem like it could be the same Dipple that’s mentioned in the texts. Does it happen to mention where the castle is?”

_“It’s actually a tourist attraction in Odenwald, just under an hour north of the University. The castle and grounds are open today noon to ten. I was thinking it would be best to book a private tour for two of our Magistrates so they can learn more about the tales as well as the grounds. After the tour, they should become familiar with the hiking trails, see if they can’t find a sign of the entryway to the lab._

_“We would also make reservations for them at the balcony restaurant overlooking the castle. If we book it late and under the pretense of an anniversary or celebration it wouldn’t seem out of place if they were there for a couple hours. That way they can watch for any sign that Dipple is still around influencing things. Then they could search the grounds after the Castle and restaurant are closed so no one would spot them and interfere_?” It was a good plan; you could never be too careful with necromancers or public locations.

“Good work Holger, my only changes are to make the reservations under my name, Mr. Duke will be accompanying me.” She didn’t fight Hamish when he pulled her more firmly against her.

 _“Vera?”_ She tensed slightly at the questioning tone and Hamish’s kiss to her shoulder did nothing to alleviate it. The Order _can’t_ know about them.

“I’ll bring in the journal before we leave, but I can’t trust a Magistratus to do this job Holger. The ritual the journal speaks about is said to contain eight rings of power that increase your magical ability threefold and one master ring.

“Dipple was one of the nine that banished Ishtar, but the ring’s power corrupted him. Until we can find eight members we can trust that are powerful enough and willing to risk the effects but not be corrupted, no one can know. We can’t risk someone finding one of these rings and taking it. We need all nine for the banishment.”

She felt Hamish’s grip tighten. She knew he connected the dots at why she only said eight members, he knew she would be wearing the ninth.

 _“I understand. But are you sure you want Mr. Duke to accompany you? We could change the plan a bit so you won’t have to risk a student getting the wrong impression of you. Or I could accompany you and Mr. Duke can assist in the Temple?”_ He was just trying to look out for her, but Vera wished he hadn’t said anything.

She cursed werewolf hearing the second the suggestions were out of his mouth and she felt Hamish drag her more forcefully into him and bite down roughly on her shoulder. She turned her head to send a glare at him and was surprised to see irritation instead of jealously be the leading emotion on his face. He thought Holger was threatening her reputation. She brought the phone away from her ear quickly to press a gentle kiss to his lips before responding to Holger.

“That won’t be necessary, it’s a good plan Holger. I need you at The Temple with your disciples. Both to keep them safe from Praxis and Ishtar and trying to find the other rings and texts about the Black Forest. As far as Mr. Duke getting the wrong idea, you don’t need to worry about that. I chose him to accompany me because he knows how serious this is. He’s also of one of our Teaching Assistants at Belgrave, so he’s very familiar with how rumors can ruin one’s career. I trust him not to do anything that could jeopardize either of our standings.”

She felt him nuzzling into the back of her neck and smiled as he placed a kiss to it before breathing deeply. _Yeah right, sure you don’t smell me Hamish Duke._

_“Good. When should I make the reservations for?”_

“Give me an hour and I’ll drop the books off to you before we head up.”

 _“I’ll set the tour for 1:00 then, just incase traffic is backed up. Will you be needing hotel rooms as well?”_ Vera hesitated before answering. The castle didn’t close until ten, to be safe they shouldn’t start searching until eleven and they had an hour drive back. She felt Hamish shake his head against her back and remembered he didn’t need as much sleep.

“We’ll be fine, we’re all on the professor’s schedule.” She chuckled slightly along with Holger but knew by Hamish twitching against her backside that he understood why she said it like that. She was subtly elevating him to their standing professionally, making it clear to all three of them that she didn’t see him as a student.

They said their goodbyes and as soon as Hamish heard the line go dead, he had her beneath him. She looked up at him with lust filled amused eyes and gave a throaty chuckle.

“Was it something I sai…” Was all she was able to get out before his mouth was plundering hers. She quickly fell into the kiss before remembering they were on a deadline. She pushed him off of her and he immediately lifted with a confused look on his face.

“We need to be at The Temple in an hour. We still have to eat and apparently my shower this morning was for nothing as I have to take another one.” She trailed her nails south before grasping his length, making it clear she didn’t intend to shower alone.

“Yes ma’am” He cringed the second it came out of his mouth and saw the exact look he imagined was there yesterday, completely appalled.

 _“Ma’am?!”_ She shoved him even further off of her and made to get up. She already had people commenting on the age gap between them and that was just when they were teasing about them being hot for each other. She really didn’t need _him_ calling her ma’am.

“Yes Miss? Oh god, that’s even worse. How about we just forge…Vera, wait!” He slapped a hand over his mouth in horror as a bubble of laughter broke out at her huffily pulling out an outfit. Her unamused eyes snapped to him at the sound but seeing his horror she couldn’t hold back her own deep laughter.

“God, you’re beautiful when you laugh.” She heard him mutter before she felt him wrap his arms around her and pull her into him. “The green will bring out your eyes.” He whispered placing kisses to her shoulder, and it took her a second to realize she was holding two shirts.

She contemplated picking the white one just to spite him for calling her ma’am, but as he continued his ministrations, she found herself keeping the emerald option. Turning in his arms she kissed him quickly before pushing him away.

“We need to shower, get your things.” He watched as she strode from the room, the only articles of clothing touching her in her hand.

“Yes Vera.” He heard her chuckle and quickly grabbed a suit for himself before following after her to enjoy the small amount of time they had together before they needed to leave.

He was looking forward to today, not for the potential danger obviously. But he was going to get to show affection for Vera in public, maybe even get a photo or two, to keep their cover of course. And most excitedly, he was getting to have dinner with her in an actual restaurant.

He caught up to her just as she was stepping under the spray and watched as the water traveled down her body. Unable to stand by and watch any longer, he climbed in behind her and turned her around kissing her firmly as he backed her against the shower wall.

Distracted as they were with each other, they didn’t notice the journal pages flipping on their own in the now empty room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fluffier than I was expecting, but they needed a little break. 
> 
> Everything mentioned about Konrad Dipple/Frankenstein (besides the rings) is actually true which I thought was so perfect!


	32. History of The German Vault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I must've been tired when I posted last chapter and titled it Thirty Three...it was chapter Thirty One (I fixed it), here's Thirty Two...Big things will be happening soon. Hope you enjoy :)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Vera was beyond irritated as she drove the short distance The Temple. Breakfast, and more importantly coffee, had to wait until after they left the Temple because _someone_ got distracted after their shower and put off dressing to go another round.

Even though she was technically equally responsible and had thoroughly enjoyed it, she was blaming Hamish for the lack of caffeine in her system. He knew she couldn’t resist him when he attacked her neck like that so really it _was_ all his fault.

Hamish on the other hand was openly amused with her reaction. He knew she needed caffeine in the morning and had promised to buy her one as they hurriedly tried to finish getting ready. Her irritation was adorable to him and he was sure once she had a cup of coffee and some food in her, she’d be fine.

Just before they got out of the car her stomach growled and he couldn’t contain the laughter. She turned her unamused gaze to him raising her brow.

“Not a word Mr. Duke. Grab the books before I change my mind and accept Holger’s offer to accompany me today.” She threatened exiting the car and starting towards the Temple entrance. That shut him up immediately and he sent a bitter look towards her back as he followed her. _Note to self, do not let Vera go hungry._

To be fair, they hadn’t eaten last night either and she had clearly said she wanted breakfast before they left. Perhaps he shouldn’t tease her, even though she didn’t object to missing breakfast when he’d had her pinned to the bathroom counter.

Shaking his head to remove the image of her before him, he jogged after her and had just enough time to utter a quiet apology before they both entered the Temple that was surprisingly empty. Vera’s steps faltered slightly until she saw Holger making his way out of the reliquary.

He seemed to catch her confusion as he made his way over. “I have them set up in groups going through the Vault at the moment. As you know, there's so much to go through and the wards on the vault are stronger than the alter room. With the recent theft attempts I thought it unwise to risk bringing anything out.”

Vera nodded in agreement and followed him back towards the vault. “That’s good thinking, both of these should be returned to the Vault and kept hidden for the time being. We don’t want to risk the information getting out before we can complete the banishment.”

Holger revealed the Vault entrance and the three of them stepped up to the archway, just as Vera’s stomach rumbled loudly again, to her mortification. It took everything in her to keep a neutral face as Holger looked towards her.

“I planned to stop at that wonderful bakery you showed me on my way over, but one of my disciples desperately needed me for something, so after it is.” Hamish was grateful he was preoccupied grabbing Vera’s amulet for her so he could hide his face long enough to hide the blush and pull off indifference.

He passed the chain to Vera and took her raised hand when she signaled him to before the three of them stepped over the threshold. Both acted as if they didn’t sense the other man’s gaze on them, displaying perfect leader and disciple behavior as they walked into the Vault.

There were fifteen people separated into five groups around the large room. It was easily three or four times the size of Belgrave’s vault and was absolutely _packed_ with relics and ancient tombs. Vera saw Emile look towards them the second they entered and smiled wide giving a half wave before turning back to the pile of items she was going through.

Her brother’s gaze remained on the two for a second longer before taking the item Emile was holding up as she dug further into the large pile. Vera half turned towards Hamish to see his wide eyes.

“The Order began in Germany so it makes sense that their collection would far surpass the other Temples. Belgrave’s chapter may be the oldest in the states, but it’s centuries behind the ones in Europe. We’ve had to expand the vault four times since its creation to make room for everything collected. You can actually see the expansion points if you look closely.” Vera was in full excited teaching mode as she walked around the vault pointing things out, drawing the attention of a few students. Hamish just stood back and took it all in.

“The protection wards are also stronger here in than any other Temple, and you can actually feel the enchantments press on you as you move into the original section.” She looked up at him for a second before thinking it wouldn’t be a good idea to risk Tundra coming out from the force of the magic in the last section and instead turned to show him a faintly glowing script at the barrier of the first expansion point.

“We don’t know who enchanted this, but it’s a constant ward against demons. We’ve tried to replicate it in the other temples, but every attempt has been unsuccessful. Unless this is destroyed no demon or unmarked member would be able to pass into the original Vault.” Her fingers trailed over the script and Hamish watched it glow a little brighter before returning to the pale green.

“Could this have been a biproduct of the banishment?” He questioned bringing his own fingers to the mark. He quickly drew back as he felt Tundra squirming at the force of the magic and turned back to Vera who was looking at him with wide eyes.

“It would fit the timeframe and explain why it can’t be replicated. Perhaps we can see if we can expand the protection to another section of the vault.” She looked up excitedly to Holger at the thought and saw he was watching her with a small fond smile before his eyes flicked behind her.

She followed his gaze and turned around to notice Emile behind her with excited eyes. Looking further, she saw there were a few other students that had paused in their work to listen to her. She fought the flush wanting to rise up in her. She brushed off the nonexistent dust on her skirt before looking at the girl in front of her and her brother standing protectively behind her.

“Mr. Duke, the journals please?” Hamish handed her both journals and stepped back. Vera looked over to Holger and at his agreeing nod she continued.

“Mr. Brandt?” Fynn looked up sharply and strode up beside his sister. “If you and your sister could take these to the Original Vault and watch them until Mr. Schroeter returns. I would like both of you to begin searching the Original sections for the box and any texts. Under no circumstances are you to attempt to open the box if you find it. Can I count on you?” It was a gamble, but Vera knew both of them had been there with Ishtar and they had risked their lives to get the information back to The Order.

Both siblings’ eyes grew wide at the request and nodded with conviction.

“Yes Ma’am!” Emile promised and she cringed at the term, Hamish’s hand clenching in the corner of her eye told her he was attempting not to laugh. Fighting the grimace, she gave a tight smile before she nodded again.

“Good, Mr. Brandt, your hand please.” He held his right hand out and watched the mark burn into his skin before disappearing. She asked for Emile to do the same and looked up when she didn’t present her hand. She was surprised to see the girl’s eyes pinched tight as if she was in pain.

Fynn nudged her and the girl’s eyes snapped open quickly looking sheepish before holding her hand out. Vera watched as the girl’s jaw clenched tightly as the mark burned into her skin before shaking her head and smiling widely again as Vera passed both books into her waiting hands.

“Grand Magus?” Emile asked before she could turn away and Vera signaled for her to continue. “I was wondering, if maybe after everything you might be interested in telling us a little bit more about the other Chapters? If you’re not busy of course.” A soft smile crossed her face before she could suppress it and she gave a small tilt of her head.

“We’ll see what we can do Ms. Brandt. One thing at a time though.” She was happy the girl was looking to the future now instead of drowning in hopelessness. The girl flushed and turned, pulling her brother towards The Old Vault.

Vera watched the siblings as they approached the barrier and noted how Emile paused as she passed over the barrier before Fynn gave her a subtle push. It could be she wasn’t expecting the level of magic, but Fynn’s actions seemed to suggest he was almost anticipating her reaction to the magic.

Turning her head slightly she saw Hamish’s eyes zeroed in on the siblings. He had sensed something as well. He met her gaze and knew he wanted to discuss it with her in private. She gestured for Holger to follow her and they began making their way out of the Temple.

“Read through both journals and try to come up with a list of members you trust that meet the criteria for the rings so we can go over it when I return. If you find the box before I get back, place it in the back section with the journals and we’ll see what we can do tomorrow.”

“Anything we come across that may be involved will be moved into the back.” He reached into his right pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Here’s directions to the castle.” She watched as discomfort crossed his face before hesitantly reaching into his other pocket. “A word Magus?”

Vera turned to Hamish and directed him to pull the car around and enter the directions. When he left, she turned her attention back to the man in front of her and saw the uneasiness had increased. She looked down to his outstretched hand and saw a gold ring resting in his palm.

Her wide eyes snapped back to his and waited for him to explain why exactly he was holding an engagement ring out to her. He looked both uncomfortable and upset as he set the ring on the desk before turning back towards her to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O_O I don't even know what to say as an ending note other than I hope you liked it.


	33. An Engagement?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being stuck in meetings at work is really a great place to plan, just saying. I just finished planning out Ch. 65 (still have to get the notes on paper, but I'm excited!)

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

“I know, believe me I understand. I tried to book a private tour and was informed they were completely booked for the next three weeks, there weren’t even tickets available to tour the grounds yourself. They made a joke saying the only way I could get in was if I was planning a wedding and looking to book a venue tour as the couple coming at two had to cancel last minute. I said that was exactly what I was looking for before someone else booked it.”

Vera was frozen staring at the diamond ring on the desk. She understood why he booked it. They needed to tour the grounds and learn its history and sense for any enchantments as soon as possible. They could attempt to use magic, but not knowing if Dipple was still around or had put up wards could be disastrous if a spell interacted. It wasn’t safe to charge into a necromancer’s den on a good day, let alone one that you knew nothing about other than the fact that he had been in possession of a powerful item.

But she couldn’t pretend to be engaged to Hamish. She’d already slipped this morning by allowing herself to show she cared deeply for him, and she’d seen it reflected in his eyes. She was already concerned he might be trying to imagine some type of future with her; she couldn’t add to that by pretending to be his fiancé. It could make it too real for him, hurt too much when she died.

She was broken from her spiraling thoughts as Holger gently touched her elbow. “I know you said you trust him to not risk your standing and that you need me here, but I can still accompany you if it’d make you more comfortable?” She almost recoiled as the image of Hamish’s betrayed face creased with hurt crossed her mind at the thought of her playing fiancé with someone else, especially after the morning they’d shared.

It shouldn’t bother her so much. They _weren’t_ together, they never could be. It might even be best for her to hurt him now to save him even greater pain in the future. She had opened her mouth to accept when her she remembered the pain he was already in from the information from the journals. They hadn’t really had time to go through anything and she knew he was still troubled by what he’d learned.

She couldn’t add to his pain today. What if he lost control again and she wasn’t there to help talk him down? What if Ishtar came for him when she was out? She shuddered at the thought and looked up to Holger, planting a smile on her face.

“I’ll be fine. I need you here so we can move on to the next stage when I get back.” Forcing her hand to not tremble she reached out and clasped the ring.

“Vera…” She could hear the concern in his voice, and it unnerved her. They’d known each other for close to a decade now, ever since the party that was thrown when she’d been promoted to Temple Magus. He was one of the few people that actually tried to talk with her and form any real connection. He was one of the very few members within The Order she knew she could count on.

Despite keeping him at arms distance over the years, they were still mostly friends and he had been able to learn some of her subtle cues and could pick up on when she was troubled. Instead of responding to his concern, she just turned away from him and started towards the exit.

“Thank you for making the arrangements Holger. We’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully with one of the nine rings.”

Years of practice at distancing herself both physically and emotionally is the only thing that kept her from shaking as she slipped the ring onto her finger and stared down at it. She took several calming breaths before walking out to meet Hamish in the car. In her effort to separate herself from her warring thoughts, she didn’t sense Holger watching her from the window with concern.

She forced a smirk on her face as she climbed in the passenger’s side and buckled herself. “Ready to tour our possible wedding venue Mr. Duke?” Hamish immediately started choking on the water he’d just inhaled as he looked to her with wide eyes.

“But first, I believe you owe me breakfast and a coffee. Once you pull out of the parking lot, you’re going to want to turn left. The bakery will be a mile down on the right.” She gestured and his hand quickly grabbed her own and flipped it so he could see the ring on her finger. He traced it gently before looking back up to her to explain.

She took her hand back and started playing with her fingers as she sighed deeply. She relayed the information she’d received from Holder without meeting his eyes. He nodded along but she could see the tension in his body. Perhaps this was too far for him? Maybe the idea of playing her fiancé was something he just wasn’t comfortable with.

Hamish looked at her hand as she went over the plan and felt himself nodding. It wasn’t the ring he’d have gotten for her, but it still caused a fleeting image of her in a white dress smiling at him as she walked down a grass isle.

He could tell from her stiff posture and the tone of her voice that she wasn’t happy with the cover they were playing, however. He felt a surge of disappointment rush through him before shaking his head. Even if he had admitted he was in love with her, it was way too soon to be thinking about marriage. This whole façade could blow up in his face and have her retreating in on herself again.

“Are you okay with this?” Hamish was snapped out of his musings and met her questioning gaze. She looked uncomfortable, as if she was expecting him to reject the idea completely. Wanting to put her at ease, he grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips. He pressed a light kiss below the ring before sending her an exaggeratedly wide smile.

“It’ll be much easier then pretending to be into Randall that’s for sure.” He shuddered in mock disgust and smiled to himself when he was successful in pulling a quick laugh from her.

“Ah yes, I did hear about that. Ms. Durov seemed quite put out after your little display.” In the time that she’d been checking in on the wolves she had noticed the Magistrate beginning to get very touchy with Hamish.

She had heard about the kiss just before she reached the point of reassigning Selena, to keep her from becoming compromised of course. Not because she felt her skin start crawling whenever she watched the two touch or share a drink.

“Good, it worked on two fronts then. She’d begun to get rather familiar and with the memories returned it was hard to keep up the act of being into her.” He watched her smile falter slightly at the mention of their memory and he kicked himself. “I’m not upset about it, Vera. You saved all of us by wiping our memories, so stop beating yourself up over it.”

He saw the weak fake smile and grit his teeth at her insistence on punishing herself. Knowing better then to push, he turned the ignition over and looked to her with a wide smile. “Ready for breakfast future Mrs. Duke.” He regretted the words as soon as they’d come out of his mouth even as he craved for it to become a reality.

He’d said it in an attempt to lighten the mood, but the tension in the car was now suffocating. Vera was staring out the window with her jaw and hands clenched, shoulders tight. He gripped the steering wheel tighter trying to wrack his brain for something that would lesson the tension before Tundra reminded him of Emile.

Putting the car in reverse he started towards the bakery. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to start talking.

“That mark that you gave Fynn and Emile, does it hurt the person receiving it?” Vera was beyond thankful he’d moved past the comment. She was happy they’d got their reaction to the name out of the way before someone at the tour said it and caught them in the obvious lie, but god did it hurt when he said that.

She had given up the idea of marriage as a result of that party so many years ago and then after Ally died, she never wanted to get close to anyone. But when he said that, she found that she wanted it. Not right this second, but she wanted that future with him, and it hurt to know they could never have it because of the choices she’d made.

Forcing the image out of her mind and shoving the emotions down she focused on the conversation. “No, it may look like it but it’s the same incantation that gives the Magistrates access to the reliquary. The only difference is the marking they’re receiving as it’s specific to getting into the original vault. When I got mine I didn’t feel a thing.”

“I felt it.” He saw her eyes snap towards him at the knowledge. Ever since they’d joined The Order the only times they’d heard the ringing or felt the pain was when bad magic was performed. “I didn’t hear the ringing, but it was the same uneasy feeling when I touched the inscription. Tundra felt it and based on Emile’s reaction; I think she did as well.”

“You don’t think…?” Vera trailed off; she’d already suspected on some level.

“That she’s a wolf? I do and I think she’s new to it otherwise she’d have been able to mask her reaction better.”

“Do you think she’s Alpha? I know he’s been missing since Grafton left the Knights and all the other hides are spoken for. Maybe he came to Germany and she stumbled upon his locker?”

“She has to be. The other wolves died off. Somehow the Knight’s had hides created so they could stay eternal. I just don’t know why he wasn’t mentioned in the journal with the other Knights.” They both remained quiet as they took in the new information.

“One thing’s for sure, her brother knows. It’s probably why he’s been so protective over her since we arrived. He’s most likely expecting us to find out and kill her.”

“Does the German chapter know you've inducted wolves?”

“They’ve been told, but they refuse to acknowledge them. Like I said, they believe wolves to be demon spawn. Which I guess after reading the journal they’re at least partly right in a sense, even if you all have nothing to do with them. I think Holger may believe me though and possibly feel as I do, but he’s in a tricky position.”

“It may be why she looks up to you so much. With the Order’s history of tracking and killing anyone known to be wolves, they both had to have been terrified for her when she became one. But knowing the leader of the organization may feel differently and actually inducted them and protected them gives her hope.”

Vera looked over to him and saw a genuine smile on his face that she found herself mirroring. Change was happening, even if it was going slower then she wanted.

“I’d like to try to train her a bit if we have time. Help teach her how to be a Knight of the Blue Rose as well as get a better handle on Alpha to keep herself safe as well as others. Maybe even bring Alpha back home to the pack if she wants.” He kept his gaze on the road as he pulled into the bakery.

“I think that’s a good idea. We’re trying to change the mindset of The Order, last thing we need is a new werewolf causing fear to crop up again. If we find time while we’re here we’ll try. If not I’ll see if I can’t convince Ms. Brandt to transfer, at least for a short time to learn. Just wait to inform the other wolves, we can’t risk the news getting out till we know she’s safe.”

“Thank you, Vera.” He looked at her with a relieved smile and she was surprised when she struggled to match it. There was a new wolf, and it seemed to have chosen a good champion. So why did the thought of Hamish spending his free time training and getting to know the Medicum fill her with a sense of dread?

Before she could linger on the feeling too much, she opened the door and walked into the bakery with him. She took a deep breath as the smells of fresh bread and pastries filled her nose. Vera told herself the delightful smells and not Hamish’s hand resting on her lower back were the cause for the happy smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There see, Vera wouldn't hurt Hamish like that. But man oh man is this a minefield for them. But date day/night has officially started!
> 
> Also, there's some speculations about Emilie, it'll be a few chapters yet till anything is confirmed.


	34. The Knights Get Their Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this story so far. You are seriously keeping me soo motivated to keep writing/planning and I'm just getting more excited as I plan future chapters.
> 
> We've got some adorable Vermish with some new theories in this one.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Hamish watched as Vera greeted the man behind the counter with a small happy smile as she started looking through the selection of delicious pastries. Hamish noticed the man’s eyes tracking Vera hungrily as she moved away from him and down the display case.

Not liking the way the man was eyeing her like piece of meat, or at all really, he found himself walking up behind her and placing his hand back on her lower back. The man eyed him with irritation that was quickly covered by a charming smile when Vera looked up.

“It isn’t often a woman as beautiful as yourself graces my small bakery. If you’re looking for something sweet to sink your teeth in, you’ve come to the right guy.” He propositioned as he leaned forward on the counter towards Vera and dropped his voice to a sultry tone as he openly eyed her up and down.

Hamish felt his hand twitch on Vera’s back as Tundra squirmed in fury within him at the man's audacity. It was obvious they were here together and still the man was blatantly hitting on her. He looked down towards Vera as she stepped further into his touch and saw the smile was gone from her face. In its place was one of open disgust.

“No thank you, I seem to have lost my appetite.” She shuddered violently and started towards the exit. “Hamish, let’s go.” She snapped without turning when he stayed where he was glaring at the man.

“You’re loss bitch, as if this _boy_ could give you what you clearly desperately need.” He slung at her and her steps faltered slightly as she passed over the threshold. Ignoring the sickening feeling building in her stomach she turned on her heel and glared at the man. Hamish watched as her hand lifted with fury on her face and knew she was about to attack the man. He quickly stepped in front of her and brought her hand down to her side bring her furious gaze to him.

"He's not worth it." She breathed heavily through her nose before abruptly turning and storming out of the bakery. she climbed back in the passenger seat and began looking up other bakeries close by. Hamish wanted to give in to Tundra's desire to rip the man apart, but Vera's desire to leave overruled it and he followed her sending a deadly glare at the man that was laughing behind the counter.

She felt Hamish watching her but refused to look up. She hated the way men like that made her feel. Like they were entitled to her body just because they thought themselves attractive and she was a woman. She’d gotten better over the years at ignoring them, but occasionally their attention still made her skin crawl.

“How about we start driving and the second we see a place we pull over?” He offered and watched her nod before she performed a silencing incantation around the car. He was about to ask why when he saw her bringing her phone to her ear.

Hamish stayed quiet as Vera updated Kepler on what they’d found, keeping the rings, their suspicions about Emile and them pretending to be engaged a secret for obvious reasons. As she started growing tense with the stupid questions Hamish pulled off into a small driveway.

She looked up and noticed a tiny bakery with a little old lady fixing things in the window display. Her stomach rumbled again at the site of the cinnamon buns in the window and she heard Hamish’s soft chuckle as he walked out of the car and came around to her side to open the door for her.

Abruptly ending the call with Kepler she eagerly climbed out of the car and made her way into the little shop. Hamish came up behind her just as the old lady turned to them smiling.

“Hello dears, what can I get you?” Hamish immediately fell in love with her sweet disposition and saw Vera felt the same way as she made her way to the small display. He decided then that they’d have to stop here again before returning home.

He heard her order a few small pastries and a coffee before turning to look at him waiting for him to add to the order. He smiled and added a coffee and two cinnamon buns with a knowing look in her direction as he rested his hand on her lower back again.

The lady gave a kind smile before shooing them over to sit at the small table while she gathered their order. Hamish couldn’t stop the laugh when their coffees were dropped off and Vera’s barely managed to touch the table before she had taken her first swallow.

She sent a glare his way, but the humor she was poorly hiding just made him laugh harder. She joined in quietly with an eyeroll and thanked the woman when the pastries were placed in front of her. Hamish bit into one of the cinnamon buns and barely held back his humor as her eyes hungrily tracked the dessert the entire way.

He pushed the small plate towards her and almost melted at the happy look on her face as she picked off a small piece and popped it in her mouth, eyes closing briefly at the taste. Yes, they would _definitely_ need to come back here.

When they finished, Vera walked up and ordered one more coffee to go and was surprised when the lady came back with a small container. She looked up at the woman and saw a soft happy smile on her face.

“Congratulations on your engagement dear, he seems to make you very happy.” Hamish watched from the other side of the small room as the woman spoke quietly to Vera, unaware Hamish could still hear. He felt a bubble of happiness rise in him before it popped as Vera’s smile dropped for a second before a fake one took it’s place and she thanked the older woman.

“Ready?” She wasn’t meeting his eyes as she waited for him to stand and walk out with her. She had forgotten the weight on her finger and allowed herself to just enjoy the meal. The woman was right though, he did make her happy, and that’s why it hurt so much.

She had to be careful, she couldn’t allow herself to be sucked in and make it seem real to him. Not when caring about her was pointless and would only lead to pain. Opening the container once she got in the car a small smile twitched at her lips seeing the cinnamon bun cut in half to share.

“If you’re still hungry, there’s an extra here.” She wasn’t sure if he heard the woman or not, but she guessed he had and just wasn’t going to comment on it. She was grateful he wasn’t pushing her on it.

“Maybe when we get closer.” He debated for a second on whether or not he should bring up the other issue that was bothering him before deciding a distraction might be exactly what she needed.

“You mentioned you read at least some of our journals, right?” He watched her tense at the question but nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“Did any of them mention how the hides were created? Or if there was an event that caused the memories to become corrupted?” He paused before asking quieter, “Or the names of Tundra’s sister or nephews?”

Despite the internal struggle Vera was going through doing this whole thing with Hamish, she was glad she hadn’t taken Holger up on his offer as she heard the pain in his voice. She wished she had all the answers for him, but from the few journal’s she’d been able to read she could only make guesses.

“There really wasn’t much, but I think we can make a few assumptions after what we learned today. The first journal was started in late April of 1710 by a guy name Charles. He talks about being taken over by something in a box and how he’d hear ringing and would wake up covered in blood with four other people. After the fourth time they moved in together to try to figure out what was going on. They started referring to each other by names that felt right but they couldn’t explain; Tundra, Midnight, Timber, Silverback and Greybeard.

“In October of 1710 Charles spoke of a young man showing up one day asking around about wolves. The wolves followed him and when he saw Charles shift back to his human form, he revealed that he’d been searching for them for five months. He told them they were supposed to be the group that stood against the Vade Maecum Infernal’s creation, had fought the corrupted Order and attempted to destroy it.

“He promised his young duchess that he would ensure the books delivery, making sure she was able to keep her promise to her mother to get it to them no matter the cost. She then shifted into a wolf and allowed him time to escape with it, but when he was leaving the port, he heard she’d been captured and was set to be executed by weeks end.

“The wolves didn’t remember any of it but could sense the truth behind the man’s words and followed him to see the chest. When he removed the chains, the box began to move and a hide wrapped around the man. They took him and the chest containing the book back to the house until he regained consciousness.

“He woke up in a fit demanding they keep the Vade Maecum Infernal safe above all else and to not trust The Order as it was. They needed to watch those in power and protect them from themselves as well as the people from them before he passed out again.

“He woke up with no memory of the fit or who his master was when the others asked. All he knew was that his name was Christopher, and he felt the overwhelming desire to protect something.

“The other members guessed something with the hides bonding to people blurred memories but could never find out the cause. But with a new purpose given to them they named themselves the Knights of Saint Christopher and started referring to Christopher as the Alpha of the pack.”

She had that same fascinated look in her eyes as when she was going over the history of the Temple. Hamish and Tundra were both listening closely, absorbing everything.

“Do you think Alpha might have been Maria Amalia? She would’ve been a duchess and was killed around the time Christopher said he started looking for them.” Vera nodded along with him but frowned when a thought struck her.

“It would also explain how he got the book. He said his master promised her mother to get it to the wolves in the colonies. According to the journal Amalie stole the book not long before Amalia was captured and had run off with it. And the Order believed she’d been running with her younger daughter…but then why is Amalie still around? Why didn’t she go with her daughter? And why would they summon Ishtar?”

“Revenge for killing her son. She couldn't fight The Order on her own.” Hamish said it like it was the obvious choice of action and Vera unfortunately understood it. If things had been different and she didn’t have Alexandra until after she’d joined the Order and they took her away and sacrificed her for power she wouldn’t stop until they were all dead either. But still, Amalia was so young.

“So if we are to assume Alpha was originally Maria Amalia, then something created the hides between her birth and execution, and whatever it was I think it’s safe to say Amalie wasn’t aware of it otherwise she would’ve searched for her.”

“That means it probably wasn’t Tundra’s fault.” Hamish muttered and he felt a weight lift from the wolf at the thought. It was still possible, but if the journals were to be believed the hide creation happened to all six wolves, despite being on different continents.

Vera looked up at him and saw the emotions flickering on his face before bringing her hand over to squeeze his knee briefly.

“I don’t think so. I think more than likely it has something to do with Amalie or Ishtar. Maybe Emile knows something since she’d wearing Alpha’s hide. We’ll get answers before we leave.” She promised before looking out the window at the scenery.

The last fifteen minutes of the drive were spent in a comfortable silence. Hamish taking glances every now and then at Vera, and the ring on her finger she kept spinning with her thumb. The tension from earlier was gone.

The passenger seething in the back went completely unnoticed by the two in front. She’d listened to every word since they’d left the Temple. She left the car as soon as they finished talking, she had a name now, Emile Brandt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit worried for Emilie at the moment...but how adorable was that Vermish moment?!


	35. Vermish Tours Their 'Wedding Venue'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just going to say it now, I love Lisa!
> 
> Also, totally not related to this story in any way, but I was re-watching episode 9 and got a little confused. Vera activates a Tartarus eruption right? But how? If she cast Fors Factorum, nothing she did should've allowed for an eruption right? Isn't that the whole purpose of Praxis trying to get the incantation, so they don't need to do sacrifices or practice to make sure they're not fumbling the incantation?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Now that they had arrived Vera found herself wanting to remain in the car. Looking up at the ruined castle from their parking spot caused her insides to twist, and it wasn’t for any magical enchantments. She felt herself twist the ring again on her finger at the thought of getting married here.

Calling up all of her acting abilities she plastered a smile on her face and turned towards Hamish who was watching her with wary eyes. “Let me know if you feel anything at any time that could be a protected area.” He nodded and watched as she took a deep breath and opened the car door.

As they walked up the steep hill towards the castle entrance, he watched as Vera turned into a different person. If this was the first time he’d met her there would be no way someone could convince him that she led the magical society he’d been at war with. He’d seen the improve troupe photo of course, but seeing her get into character was something else.

When they got to the booth to check in the guy held his hand out for their tickets. Vera cleared her throat to get his attention and when he looked up at her she told him they had an appointment for two to tour the venue. The mans bored face brightened a little and picked up his phone.

“Hey Lisa, your two o’clock is here. Alright, I’ll send them in.” He hung up and gave them both a small sticker. “Just place this on your person so our team knows your touring the venue and won’t try to usher you out. If you’ll just walk through the gates here, Lisa will be with you shortly. Congratulations.”

They both smiled in thanks and Hamish placed his hand on her lower back as they walked through the castle gate. Hamish felt a small pressure on him as he crossed, but it seemed diluted. He turned towards her and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“There’s definitely magic here, I felt it as soon as we walked through, It’s weak though and stopped as soon as we were all the way in.” She gave a subtle nod and he placed a kiss on her cheek before pulling back to look around.

A dark blond woman around Vera's age carrying a large folder and camera approached them wearing a big smile. She held out her free hand to Vera to shake.

“You must be Ms. Stone? It’s so wonderful to meet you, I’m so glad we had a spot open up for you.”

“Please, call me Vera, and this is my fiancé Hamish.” There should be an award for getting through that without stuttering or dropping her false smile. Hamish’s smile on the other hand was genuine as he held out his hand before returning it to Vera’s back.

“Pleasure. Tell me, have you been here before? Well then, we’ll start with the public tour first and then do the _behind the scenes_ as we like to call it.” This was someone who clearly loved her job was the only thought going through their minds as the followed her.

“Do you know how many people you plan to have at your ceremony?” She asked as they stepped into the courtyard. Hamish looked towards Vera quickly to see if she wanted to answer and was actually relieved when he saw her perfect mask still in place.

“We’re planning to keep it small, maybe twenty people.” He wondered if she was the type of person who would want a small intimate wedding or not, he certainly was.

“So you have a couple options for location then. With the smaller size we could set up the ceremony right here in the courtyard or in the castle’s chapel if you want to marry in a church? We also have a few rooms in the restaurant I’ll show later.”

“We’re leaning towards outside, but would like to see the chapel just to be sure.” Okay, this was definitely getting harder for him. His fleeting imagine of their wedding was become more and more clear as they continued to tour.

“Absolutely, right this way! Just so you know though, we don’t close the grounds to a private event unless there’s more than 200 guests expected.”

“Is there a way to reserve the grounds? I don’t mind paying for the day's ticket sales if it means we can have it to ourselves.” Vera looked up at him in shock at his question. He didn’t mean to ask the question; he was just too caught up in his fantasy and didn’t like the idea of random people at their wedding.

He forced a smile as he looked down at her. “It’s our special day, I only want to share it with the people that matter to us.” He saw the flash of anguish he’d seen earlier flash across her face before she covered it with another false smile.

“Thank you.” And because it would be almost expected she leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“Anything for you dear.” He felt the muscles in her lower back tense beneath his hand but her mask didn’t slip.

“You too are just adorable.” Hamish quickly looked back to the woman he’d forgotten was there to see the camera was swinging slightly on her arm. “And if you choose to have your wedding here, I’ll be sure we can to find some way that you can have the place to yourselves.”

Vera felt Hamish’s hand slip further around her back until his fingers were able to dig into her hip slightly as they walked into the chapel and looked up quickly to see his tight face. He signaled with his eyes to leave the building and she picked up his meaning.

“Hmm, definitely outside. Where would the photos be taken?”

Lisa paused in her explanation of the typical chapel ceremony when it became clear they weren’t interested. She preferred outdoor weddings as well. Not only were they always prettier but the small church gave her the creeps. Not that she would say that to any of the couples.

Hamish’s grip on Vera’s hip lessened the second they were outside again and the magic pressing in on him ceased. He took a quick breath to calm Tundra and stroked his thumb over her hip to tell her it’d passed.

He kept his hand on her hip as they followed Lisa to one of the two popular photo locations. When they were a few feet away from a ruined stairway he almost jumped when he felt Vera’s arm wrap around his own waste. He looked down at her to see her studiously looking anywhere but at him with the slightest blush tinting her cheeks. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Lisa was the best at her job, really she was. She was always ready to get the perfect photos to show the couples after their tour to help them better imagine their wedding taking place at the castle. And today was no different as she captured yet another perfect shot of the couple as she turned to face them.

She waited until he pulled away and Vera opened her eyes again before explaining where they would stand and asked if they’d like to see what a shot would look like. She was surprised when the woman shook her head, most people wanted to see how the backdrops would look. Thankfully Hamish smiled and grabbed her hand to pull her up.

Her heart fluttered at the site of the couple before her and was pleased she got the sequence of shots that occurred. She was able to get one as he positioned himself behind her laughing loudly as she glared at him and the moment she broke and started laughing along with him while looking up at him. The final picture was the least candid, but probably the one that was most expected to take place at their wedding. Still, she was excited to see the look on their faces as she showed them the shots she’d gotten.

When Lisa signaled they continue to the next location Hamish clasped Vera’s hand in his own and started walking without looking at her. He was hoping that if he didn’t push that she wouldn’t take her hand away. She didn’t pull away, but she also didn’t tighten her hold at all.

“Now this is definitely the more preferred location of the two and there’s a few different spots the photographer would stand to capture the different backdrops.” She pointed to the center of the small bridge above a deep crevasse.

Vera went to step onto it before Hamish had a chance to drag her to it but felt him tighten his hold on her hand. She looked back at him and saw the clenched jaw behind his fake smile. He attempted to take a step closer and she felt his grip tighten further as his eyes pinched shut.

“What do you think Hamish, the other location is more us right?” She said stepping away from the bridge and feeling his grip loosen immediately. There was definitely a strong enchantment on or under the bridge. He wasn’t sure he’d have been able to hold Tundra back if he walked onto it.

“Definitely. I’m not the biggest fan of bridges to be honest.” He imitated an embarrassed look towards Lisa who made a note in her notebook and apologized. He waved her off with a smile as Vera stepped closer to him and he took a deep whiff of her perfume to fully put Tundra at ease.

He noticed her amused raised brow as she looked up at him and flushed slightly at being caught smelling her. In an attempt to distract her and stop the teasing he knew would come later he leant down and captured her lips in a quick kiss.

Her amused look was even stronger when he pulled back, telling him she knew exactly what he was trying to do and that it wasn't going to work. He flushed again as she turned back to Lisa and asked her to proceed. Lisa looked down at her notes before looking back up.

“I see you might be interested in the tales of Konrad Dipple and his link to the Frankenstein myth be told at reception if you choose to have your wedding here. Would you like to hear our version? I must warn you though I am no storyteller. If you want the tales told at your wedding we would arrange for our actors to do it.” Vera felt Hamish’s grip tighten slightly and looked up to see he was tense. She squeezed his hand in question and his gaze met hers before nodding to Lisa.

As she started her story Hamish released Vera’s hand and encircled her waste again, angling his body towards her. The second she’d mentioned Dipple he felt Tundra squirm slightly as if he sensed magic. Hamish didn’t hear or feel anything himself, but he’d learned to trust the wolf’s senses.

“Dipple was born here and often returned for bouts at a time, usually when he as in trouble, but he never stayed long. That is until the beginning of 1711. He had always been a weird man, but he was different when he returned. One of the chapel’s priests began to suspect him of practicing dark magic and actually attempted to banish him from the grounds.

“He was so outspoken against his banishment that when that same priest started advocating for Dipple’s continued stay and fought to have the church to return to blood sacrifices it actually turned the rest of the church and village against Dipple, believing he had put some spell on the priest. Many suspect the chapel to be the location where his dark rituals took place, claiming Dipple actually started sacrificing the women that remained within the castle.

“Villagers started working night and day without food or rest to create the stone bridge and cultivate the woods. If we are to believe the church records, their blood is what sealed the mortar of the bridge after its completion. Some believe it’s a marker for Dipple’s secret lab where he would animate the dead.

“It’s said the lab was where Dipple performed a dark ritual that cursed himself to eternally haunt the grounds. If you ever find yourself on the grounds late at night you may just catch a glimpse of him frantically searching for the entrance.

“Of course, no one has actually seen the lab the church speaks of or found any hints of any secret entrances anywhere on the grounds. Some suspect it’s beneath the chapel, others beneath the bridge and some even suspect there’s a hidden entrance in the three miles of forest surrounding the castle. Once _Frankenstein_ came out the myth of a hidden entrance started bringing tourists in and the searching mostly stopped. They wanted to keep an air of mystery about the castle.”

Lisa stopped walking as she finished the cliff note version of the Dipple tale she knew. She quickly snapped another photo of the couple lost in their own world staring at each other before clearing her throat. When she had their attention again, she raised her hand and indicated the wood trail.

“Is there anything else you’d like to look at or discuss before your dinner reservation this evening?” When they both shook their heads, she smiled and tucked her notebook back in the folder.

“Well then, your reservation is set for seven thirty, so you have a few hours to yourselves. Your father mentioned you were considering the possibility of doing the ceremony in the woods. Feel free to look around and if any place stands out be sure to let me know.” She smiled widely and left them to their own devices, completely missing Vera recoiling violently at the idea of her father being present or involved in her wedding in any way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not as much fluff as I was anticipating, but still lots of happy moments. Lisa totally ships Vermish and she got some great shots of them, that will absolutely be coming back.
> 
> Any speculation on where the ring is so far? If it's even still here?


	36. Complicated Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank my dog Kingsley (he literally runs my life, it's a little ridiculous) for wanting to play in the snow this morning (first snow fall) and me falling for his puppy eyes because it had me request to leave work after two hours so he can enjoy it before it melts. And while he's outside I got to sit in my warm bed and write this one out for you all.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

“Vera?” He trailed behind her as she stiffly walked away from him and into the woods. He’d felt and seen her reaction to Lisa’s words and wanted to help her. He reached out his hand to offer silent support, but she shook it off the second he touched her. “Vera, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She closed her eyes in frustration at how harsh it sounded and continued walking further into the woods. She was thankful when he remained quiet while the few people exited the woods. It allowed her the time to pull herself together and detach from the emotions.

She tried hard not to think about her parents, her father specifically. There was too much pain with the memories of them and she often found herself suffocating when they came up. She wished they hadn’t been such a happy family when she was a young child. It would’ve been so much easier when they turned their backs on her.

Instead she remembered the times her parents had taken her camping, or the zoo for her birthday. When her mother would put on the biggest birthday parties where everyone came and the special cakes her mother always made for her. When she grew up she was able to realize most of their parties were designed so her father could put her on a pedestal and further his standing in town, but she was still happy.

She remembered planning her wedding with her mother and laughing at the ridiculous wedding dresses and hats in the magazines as they made pretend wedding plans. Her mother abandoning her was hardest, she was her best friend. She was always there for her as long as it wasn’t against her father. She never doubted how much her mother loved her.

That is until her perfect innocent daughter got pregnant at fifteen. Watching her mother stand back without saying anything as her father screamed at her and kicked her out of their lives was one of the hardest things she’d been through.

Even if the whole engagement and planning a wedding was fake, the mention of her father brought those memories back up. If she were actually getting married her parents wouldn’t be present, they’d made that perfectly clear. She was a broken girl to them, no better than the trash they disposed of. Her childhood dreams of dancing with her mother in ridiculous hats at her wedding would never happen. She'd never design one of her stunning cakes the outshone any they'd seen in their magazines.

Hamish stayed quiet, allowing her to work through whatever was bothering her. It wasn’t until maybe an hour and a half into the hike, easily an hour since they’d last seen or heard anyone that he felt Tundra start squirming.

He stepped up closer to Vera but stayed just far enough back so as to smother her, but as Tundra’s unease grew, he stepped even closer. He felt an overwhelming searing pain start in the back of his head and was reaching forward to pull Vera back into him when Tundra forced his way out and grabbed her growling lowly.

Vera jumped when she felt the heavy paws land on her waist just before she was pulled roughly back into a fur covered chest. She looked up and saw Tundra snarling towards where she had just been about to step. She didn’t fight the wolf, not like she really could, when he picked her up and placed her behind him.

She readied an attack and shielding incantation as she watched Tundra drop to all fours and approach the spot. He huffed loudly as he shoved his nose into the ground. Pulling back abruptly and snapping his head to a spot behind Vera with hackles raised he released a deep snarl and stalked around her before standing.

He brought a paw behind him and forced Vera into his side, wrapping the limb around her fully as he started to stalk away from the spot, back the way they’d come. He snarled at Vera when she bent to gather Hamish’s clothes and she found herself sending a glare towards the wolf.

“He needs his clothes Tundra. We can’t let people see you walking around or have Hamish walking around naked.” He growled again and bent over her as she mended the clothes, eyes constantly moving around the woods. He huffed and pushed her forward after a minute of mending. Rolling her eyes she started walking again as she fixed the torn clothes.

After maybe ten minutes of Tundra herding her away from the spot that had sent him off she watched as the fur on the arm draped over her shoulders and across her front started melting away. Stopping she turned her head and watched as Hamish got control again. He stumbled and would’ve fallen if Vera hadn’t caught him.

“Sorry.” He slurred as he supported himself on her with closed eyes. Vera brought one arm up behind his back and rested her other palm over his heart as he sagged more heavily against her.

“What’s going on?” Vera was concerned and pulled another protection spell to cast if needed. She felt her knees buckle as he became dead weight in her arms. “Hamish? Hamish?!” A relieved sigh forced itself from her as she felt the steady rhythm of his pulse. She adjusted him so his head was resting on her thighs before she cast a protection incantation around them.

She stayed alert as he remained passed out and found her fingers steadily threading through his hair. Whether in an effort to calm herself or soothe him she wasn’t sure. Twenty minutes later, legs numb but unwilling to move him she felt him start to stir.

“There you are.” She whispered as his eyes opened and met hers before bending down to gently kiss him. He smiled up at her softly before concern crossed his face and he went to sit up abruptly only to fall back to her lap as the energy was sapped from him. “Are you okay?” She asked crouching further over him as if to shield him from a threat.

“I just need a minute. We need to stay away from whatever that was. If Tundra hadn’t broken free and stopped you from walking into it I don’t know what would’ve happened. It seemed to sense magic and started siphoning it as soon as he crossed the barrier.” He brought his hand up to hers when he felt her hand tightened over his chest.

“I’ll be fine, he got us away from it before it could do lasting damage. And now that I know what to pay attention to I’ll be able to keep us away from any other traps like that he's set.” Vera nodded and began to tunnel her fingers through his hair again as she brought her gaze back on their surroundings watching for a threat.

After a few minutes of relaxing silence passed with his eyes closed he felt her caress falter slightly as she took a deep breath. He kept his eyes closed, thinking she was preparing for something and that it would make it easier for her if he wasn't watching.

“You’re not the only one who has a complicated relationship with their parents. I haven’t heard from mine since they threw me out after I told them I was pregnant.” Vera kept her eyes on the trees in front of them as she felt him lift himself off of her lap.

“Were you close with them?” A piece of the puzzle clicked into place at the news. No wonder she didn’t allow people close to her. Her own parents disowned her when she needed them. His heart broke at the thought of her going through pregnancy, birth and the death of her baby by herself. He wanted to reach out and bring her into his embrace and apologize for all the hurt she experienced, but knew she’d close up if he did.

She tilted her head as her eyes remained fixed beside his head. “For a time yes. My father was more concerned with his standing as I got older, but my mother and I were close. They couldn’t look past me disappointing them though, so we all moved on with our lives.” Why was she telling him this? She was supposed to be distancing herself from him, not opening up to him.

“It’s their loss then. If their heads were too far up their asses to stand by you and want to meet their granddaughter then good riddance. I’m glad you got away from them, they didn’t deserve to meet your daughter and they don’t deserve you in their lives.” If he ever met her parents, there would be hell to pay for making this amazing woman doubt herself.

“Yes well, it doesn’t matter now. It was a long time ago and we have a reservation to get to so hurry up and get dressed before we’re late.” She closed herself off from his gaze as she handed him his clothes. Hamish wanted to push and convince her she didn’t deserve the treatment she’d gotten from her parents, but he’d already pushed her too far.

They thankfully made it just in time for their reservation and saw Lisa waving at them happily as she made her way over and began showing them the other rooms available. Asking if they’d found a place they liked in the woods or not.

The rooms offered were nice, but both preferred the option of a ceremony in the courtyard of the castle. Not that either would admit that, even to themselves. When Lisa brought them into the terrace dining section she showed them to a table with romantic candles and two bottles of red wine chilling in an ice bucket.

“We took the liberty of chilling two of our most popular selections to go with your meal. We also have prepared samples of dishes offered by our culinary team so you can help decide if you’d like to choose the all-inclusive package. If so, it would include both of the wine selections as well as anything on the menu here as well as my assistance coordinating anything you’d need.”

She smiled as she watched Hamish pull the chair out for Vera before taking his own seat. She was so hoping they would choose this venue for their wedding; it was rare to find such a lovely couple.

“Do you have any questions before I leave for the evening? Alright then, I’ll leave this here for you to go over later. It has all the information we went over today and my card if you choose to go with us for your wedding. Enjoy your meal and congratulations on your engagement.” She smiled and walked back into the restaurant, lingering just inside the doorway.

She smiled widely to herself as they opened the folder and saw the pictures she’d taken of them. The man’s face showed pure joy as he flipped through them and she knew when he got to her favorite, the one of them laughing at each other. She frowned slightly when she looked to Vera hoping to see the same joy.

Instead the woman was looking at her fiancé staring at the image and the only thing on her face was complete despair. She watched as the woman pulled herself together as Hamish lifted his head to look at her and she sent a small smile his way before he kissed her.

She didn’t understand the anguish on the woman’s face, especially as she watched her sink into the kiss as if it was the oxygen she needed to breathe. She could clearly see they were in love, but for some reason the woman seemed to insist on trying to hide it, like she was afraid he’d realize something and leave. She felt the desire build up to show her that the man sitting beside her was head over heels in love with her and turned to her partner.

“Hey Larry, keep an eye on those two yeah? I want them to pick us to host their wedding. There’s something special about them.” She looked over once more and was happy to see the smile on the woman’s face as she laughed was genuine. Yes, they were perfect for each other and she hoped they let her make their wedding everything they dreamed for it to be.

Larry was used to Lisa taking an interest in her clients every now and then and smiled to himself as another poor couple made their way into the “Lisa trap”. She would make sure they had the best wedding possible if they picked their venue and he knew she would be calling them in a couple weeks if they didn’t reach out to her.

“Anything for you Lisa, now get out of here and leave them in peace!” She shot him a mock glare before leaving the couple in his capable hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love protective Tundra/Vera and Lisa is perfect, those pictures obviously elicited a reaction from both of them and will continue to pop up throughout the story. 
> 
> We have just a little bit left of their 'date' night left to cover in the beginning of the next chapter before the search will start.
> 
> I'm hoping to start the next chapter shortly :)


	37. Vera vs Tundra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of stuff happens in this chapter, so enjoy!

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Vera forced herself to continue smiling throughout the meal. To not flinch every time Hamish’s hand came to rest on her leg or behind her chair. She knew he picked up on her mood when his touches and glances became less frequent. The genuine smile on his face become more strained as the meal went on and she hated herself for putting it there.

She forced down another bite of the delicious meal through her growing nausea and looked out over the castle grounds. His hand came up behind her back to rest his hand on her shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. Tearing her eyes from the lit-up castle view to meet his gaze she listened as he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Once he was out of site, she reached a shaky hand out and opened the thin folder and looked down at the photo on top. A genuine smile crossed her face as she trailed her fingers over the image of his smiling face before anguish filled her again.

He didn’t just care for her; he was already in love with her. And she was going to crush him when she died. She had to start distancing herself no matter how much pain it caused her.

Drawing a quivering breath, she closed the folder and took a deep pull from her glass of wine. She would have to grab a few bottles before the restaurant closed for the evening to bring back with her. Standing she walked to the balcony edge with her glass and closed her eyes as the crisp air washed over her face.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” He asked as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She allowed herself to lean back against him, thinking she would take one last evening to soak in his attention before she broke them. Her hum of agreement was the only sound she could get out, but he didn’t seem to mind as he dropped a kiss to her shoulder.

“I already paid and ordered a couple bottles of wine to take back to the hotel. I figured since we were already going to head to the car, we could drop them off there before heading back in.” She melted against him further as she gave another hum of approval. “Have you noticed any signs that he’s out there?” he whispered in case anyone was trying to eavesdrop.

“No, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t. If he saw us in the woods earlier, he may already be preparing.” He nodded once and gave her shoulder one last kiss before pulling away.

“We should go, find a place to pull over and rest for a bit before coming back.” She took one last glimpse of the beautiful site before her and finished her wine as she followed him. He made a quick detour to grab the box of wine from a large grinning man at the counter and they walked down towards their car in silence.

Once they had pulled over on a side street and he turned the car off, she set up a silence incantation and angled her body towards him.

“Based off of where you felt the magic and the myths it seems like the areas to focus on are the Chapel and the bridge. If nothing turns out from either of those locations, then we’ll investigate the place in the woods. I think we should put a few different protective enchantments on ourselves before we enter the grounds, just to be safe.”

“I agree, either he’s still there or his enchantments are still extremely powerful. I don’t want us walking into another draining trap or something similar unprepared. We’ve got just over an hour before it should be safe to start searching. We should try to get some sleep if we can, we don’t know how long this is going to take.”.

Vera nodded and reclined the seat to get more comfortable. She doubted she’d actually fall asleep, but it was worth a try. She felt a slight weight cover her at some point, but found her eyes unable to open as his scent lulled her under.

Hamish watched as Vera drifted off to sleep under his jacket. He cast a quiet protection enchantment over the car before allowing himself to just watch the woman next to him. He had felt her withdrawing throughout their meal and it hurt. He understand she was fighting getting close to him, most likely because of the pain inflicted by her parents, but he also knew she loved him. It was clear in the photo Lisa had captured.

Watching as her brows furrowed slightly as she dreamt, he vowed to show her that _he_ wouldn’t abandon her like her parents had. He just had to tread lightly showing his support and love. He was sure that when she saw the picture, she realized how much he cared about her and it was right after that, that she had begun to pull away and reject any type of connection. He would wait until she was ready.

It was maybe forty minutes after Vera had fallen asleep that the frown on her face became more noticeable and her brows furrowed further as she grew tense. Hamish had just started reaching out in an effort to soothe her when her eyes sprang open.

“Are you okay?” He asked when she sat up and put her back against the glove box facing the back of the car. He followed her gaze but saw nothing until he smelled her blood and heard her cast the same revealing incantation she had in her room this morning.

“What do you want?!” Vera barked at the woman that appeared before them. Green eyes furiously glared back at Vera before shifting gold with a silent snarl as the woman disappeared again. Vera turned towards Hamish when she heard the growling and saw silver eyes and elongated canines.

“She’s already gone!” She snapped in frustration. Once again she had felt Amalie pushing in on her as she slept. She had almost breeched her mental barriers this time. Going forward she was going to have to add protective wards specifically to keep her out of her mind.

She felt Hamish watching her and turned to send a glare his way. “What?!” It wasn’t his fault he was concerned for her, but she didn’t want to deal with it. She was already shaken that this ancient wolf was so intent on entering her mind.

“How did you know she was here? Neither Tundra or I felt her, and we were awake. You also seemed to know _who_ it was before she became visible.” He watched as Vera paused, debating with herself before sighing.

“This is the second time she’s tried to get into my mind as I slept. She tried this morning, same gold eyes woke me this time.”

“Vera! That’s not good…”

“Gee, you think?! She hasn’t gotten through and I’ll take precautions going forward to hinder any future attempts.” He continued watching her as she glared out the front window before she snapped. “It’s been long enough, let’s get this over with.”

Hamish growled lowly, sure Vera heard it but she just rolled her eyes and buckled. Knowing it was pointless to argue with her now, he let it drop as he drove the short distance back to the castle. He’d confront her before they went to bed.

They parked just down the road from the Castle parking lot, not wanting to signal anyone that there were people on the grounds when there shouldn’t be. He watched Vera as she cast two protective enchantments on them before he mirrored the same incantations for double protection.

With the layers in place he didn’t even feel the weak magic when they walked in the gates. Tundra was on full alert listening for any sounds signaling other people or Dipple as they made their way over to the bridge. When they approached the bridge Vera went to step on to it only to be pulled back again by Tundra.

Growling herself she glared up at the wolf. “How are we supposed to find anything if you keep stopping me!” She tried to walk forward again but Tundra’s grip tightened and he viciously snarled down at her, commanding her to stay put.

When she just crossed her arms in irritation, he slowly released his hold and huffed lowly before sniffing the bridge and walking onto it cautiously. The snarling got worse as he neared the center of the bridge and Vera watched as he stalked towards the edge. He looked back at her and huffed again with a slight nod.

“Oh, I’m allowed to walk now?” She shot out and ignored the irritated growl from the wolf as she walked over to him and looked at the place that had drawn the wolf’s attention. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary but when Tundra rumbled again and nudged her she sliced four crossing lines into her palm to form a star before holding her hand out flat towards the direction Tundra indicated.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward a bit more before adjusting her hand's position just so and grunted. _“Ostium revelare.”_ Nothing happened for a second and she looked up to the wolf just before she felt the magic wash over her and was thrown backwards off the bridge.

 _“Descensus tardi”_ Vera was just able to get out, saving her from slamming into the ground any harder. Her head still connected with the stone roughly enough to add to the growing nausea. She heard Tundra growling as he charged towards her. She tried to breathe deeply through her nose to stem the nausea when Tundra started to nudge her still form.

She batted him away and quickly sat up before she heaved several times, thankfully able to keep her dinner down. She looked down to her hand when she felt the burning and saw the cuts she’d made were turning necrotic. Bringing her hand to her palm she quickly cast a healing incantation and released a gasp as the pain shot through her hand.

Tundra further crouched over her, snarling deeply and clasped her injured hand. He huffed at the acrid smell but didn’t let it go until it was fully healed and no longer smelled of death. Once her hand was healed, she noticed her vision was swimming slightly and found herself leaning into Tundra’s chest.

Vera felt the wolf nuzzling the back of her head and whimpering. She’d hit it harder then she thought. Raising her hand she felt the wetness confirming she was bleeding and cast another healing incantation. Waiting for her vision to sharpen again, she allowed Tundra to stand guard.

“It’s a good thing we put enchantments around us.” She muttered quietly and felt Tundra nudge her head slightly as if in agreement. If she had gone in without any protection, she knew she’d have probably been killed. “There’s definitely something there though, we need to try again.” She rolled her eyes as the wolf crouched further over her and growled deeply.

“I _said_ we! As in both Hamish and me need to cast the incantation to reveal the door together and hopefully break the enchantment with our combined magic.” His growling just grew deeper to Vera’s annoyance.

“It’s why we’re here Tundra! We need that ring so either let Hamish out to help me or I’m trying again myself. Watch your tone!” She glared into his eyes as his snarling face challenged her. When he didn’t back down she huffed and went to try to stand up only for him to growl and push her back down.

“Get. Off. _Now!_ ” She ordered sending him a steely gaze and watched as clarity came back to the wolf. He shook his head and sat back as his fur melted and Hamish took control. He looked both irritated and sheepish as he met her gaze.

“Sorry, he’s a bit protective…and stubborn. Are you okay?” Hamish was a bit shaken that Tundra hadn’t let control go when he’d pushed for it. He knew Tundra wasn’t trying to hurt Vera, he was just trying to protect her, but Hamish had watched as Vera became more and more irritated.

 _“It’s not safe!”_ Tundra tried to defend himself but was properly chastised by the level of his champion’s irritation.

“I’m fine. Shall we?” She was irritated over the entire situation but tried to brush it off as she stood. The wolf was just trying to keep her safe, she knew that, but she didn’t like it. She was capable of protecting herself. Before she got to the bridge, she recast the protective barriers that had been broken and indicated Hamish redo his as well.

“For this incantation to work you need to make four lines that intersect in the middle, aim it where you believe a doorway is and flex your fingers outward to widen the cuts as you say the incantation. Let me hear your enunciation.”

When she was satisfied he had it right she continued. “As we’re both going to attempt it at the same time, we need to link our magic energy. The quickest way would usually be to make a cut in our palms and make sure the blood remains in contact throughout the incantations, but with your werewolf healing I don’t know if that will work.”

_“I will delay the healing as long as possible, wait till you’re in position.”_

“Once we’re in place and everything is set, it will be the last thing we do before enacting the spell. If I cut deep enough it should give us enough time.” All three of them were concerned, if it didn’t hold on long enough they would likely both be blasted back.

Nodding they both walked back to where Vera had been before she was thrown. Hamish felt the magic and Tundra’s unease, but the wolf held back not wanting to risk Vera performing the incantation alone.

He watched her cutting the mark into her hand and brought a claw out to do his own and waited. She finished cutting her left palm and dropped the knife. The smell of her blood as it flowed from her hands set him on edge, but he waited until she raised her right hand towards the same patch of soil and held her left out to him.

Quickly slicing the star pattern deeply into his left hand before making two deep gashes in his right he grasped her slick hand in his own and felt the force of her magic rock through him. He could tell she felt the same as her outstretched hand twitched and she tightened her hold on his.

He brought his other hand next to hers and met her gaze as they both cast the incantation. Her grip on his became vicelike as the pain surged through his body and Tundra started pushing through. He forced the wolf back and focused even harder to break the enchantment.

“Again!” Vera ground out as she felt the burning begin in her hand and she felt Hamish squeeze her hand before shouting the incantation with her. He started to feel the same effect of the power drain from the woods and pulled Vera closer to him meeting her eyes and signaling to try it again and fast.

Nodding they demanded the door reveal itself once more and both felt themselves being pushed backwards. Hamish called for Tundra’s legs to keep them in place and pulled Vera all the way against him, her hand in a steel grip.

Just as he felt her start to slump against him from the drain the magic pushing against them ceased and they fell forward from the unexpected lack of resistance. Vera was panting heavily but pulled herself up, still not releasing his hand and together they looked over the edge to see a deep crater with a small box within.

Tundra took over and carried Vera off the bridge to where he no longer felt the magic before quickly running towards the crater. He felt the same draining barrier as in the woods and dropped to all fours getting ready to charge through and grab the box on his way out of it.

The pull was so much stronger, and he found himself staggering as passed out of the barrier, but he had the box. He slowly limped his way back to Vera who was trying to focus on healing the necrotic tissue that had started up her arm and dropped down next to her. He curled around her back to give her support and nudged her injured hand lightly in concern before presenting the box.

He didn’t sense any dangerous magic coming from the box, but he did sense strength. He was sure the ring was inside. Vera allowed herself to lean slightly against Tundra as her hand continued to heal, much to the wolf’s satisfaction.

She cast one more set of protection incantations on the both of them before opening the box and seeing the gold ring within. Her sigh of relief as she sagged fully against the wolf was met with a wet lick across her face. She quickly sat up and stared at where Hamish was now laying looking mortified.

“That wasn’t me, I swear!” He held both of his hands up and the whole scene and exhaustion was too much for Vera. She started laughing deeply and collapsed back against his chest trying to catch her breath. Her laughter slowed as she stared up at the stars, his fingers gently trailing through her hair.

“Despite the dark magic here, it really is a beautiful place.” She hummed in agreement and just allowed herself to enjoy the moment as they regained their strength. She found herself being lulled into a wakeful slumber as his fingers continued their soothing motion in her hair.

Her phone’s shrill ringing jolted her back to full consciousness, and she reached into her pocket to pull out the offending device _._ She didn’t look at the name, too tired to care at the moment and brought it to her ear.

“Yes?” Even she could hear the tiredness in her voice, but she didn’t care. If it was someone from Belgrave they would assume she had been asleep based on the hour and if it was Holger he knew where she was.

* * *

_Ostium revelare – Door to reveal_

_Descensus tardi – Slow my descent_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One down, eight more to go! Vera realized Hamish is in love with her, Hamish knows she loves him. Thank you Lisa for being amazing at your job! But Vera isn't exactly happy with the news AND Amalie is still trying to get in her mind for some reason :(


	38. Pausing To Stargaze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Chinadoll00 and Seildling for the reviews, you guys area awesome! Plans for this evening fell through so I had enough time to finish this one for you guys. And there's a super adorable moment in it.
> 
> I also have to send a HUGE thanks to Chinadoll00 for catching the mistype on my ending note last chapter. For anyone that read it, it was supposed to say Amalie, not Ishtar like I had originally written. It is Amalie that is following them, not Ishtar. There will be a lot of twists in this story, but trust me, that is not one of them. That's the problem when you plan too far ahead, you get your bad guys of the moment mixed up.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

 _“Are you okay?”_ She smiled slightly as she heard Holger’s concerned voice filter through. Hamish’s motions faltered briefly before resuming the gentle motion.

“I’ll be fine, we were able to find the ring and break through the enchantments after a few draining attempts. Just trying to get our energy back at the moment before we start heading back.” She probably wouldn’t have revealed that much if she was more awake or if it had been someone other than Holger, but she knew he wouldn’t hold it against her.

 _“That’s wonderful! I have good news and bad, which would you prefer first?”_ She felt Hamish’s arm come up and wrap around her chest tightly as his hand continued through her hair.

“Bad news first.” That way, she knew at least something positive would follow. She heard Hamish’s phone ping from where his clothes were and regretfully started to lift her head off his chest so he could retrieve it. She smiled softly when he pulled her back into his chest and continued playing with her hair.

_“We found a couple texts that mention the Black Forrest in passing, but nothing definitive on how to get in nor any maps. It’s almost as if each person that was able to get in experienced something different and all noted shifting paths. Which would match the journal entry. We were able to confirm that it is protected by enchantments and most were unable to breach it. The ones that got through didn’t say how they did it unfortunately._

_“I also suspect it may be where the Master ring is. The text speaks of Odin placing a golden ring forged by dwarven brothers on Baldr’s funeral pyre. Every ninth night the ring in the flames dripped to create a new identical ring until eight surrounded it. Odin’s son Hermod, would retrieve the ring when it was misplaced, always returning it to his brother’s resting place for him to protect it.”_

“I had suspected that may be the case from the journal, but that just confirms it. What’s the good news?” Just fucking perfect. She felt Hamish tighten his hold on her again and stroke his thumb gently over her ribs in an effort to soothe her irritation. She allowed her eyes to close and matched her breathing to his to calm herself.

 _“I believe Ms. Brandt has located the other rings. We found a small box and the name ‘_ Leanna’ _was inscribed on the bottom. It didn’t open when she attempted to lift the lid and she immediately brought it to my attention. I’m going to rotate constant guard of the box in the original vault between myself, Ms. Brandt and Mr. Brandt to ensure no one attempts to remove it.”_

Hamish felt the relieved sigh go through her at the news. They were that much closer to stopping Ishtar, but they both knew the master ring was likely going to be the most challenging and time consuming to obtain.

“We should be ready to leave in…” She turned her head to meet his eyes and he mouthed _twenty_ to her. “maybe twenty to thirty minutes. We’re going to stop at The Temple first to drop the ring off. Please ensure Ms. Brandt is present. Mr. Brandt as well for that matter. I have a few things I’d like to go over before they leave with the knowledge of the rings locations.”

Vera wanted to trust the disciples, but she also knew how easily that could bite her in the ass. Just look at Alyssa. She needed to make sure they understood the need to keep the information secret until Ishtar has been dealt with. She also wanted to subtly test their theory on Emile before leaving her in possession of the rings.

 _“I’m sure she’ll be more then happy to hear that, she hasn’t stopped talking to her brother about you since she met you."_ If Hamish hadn’t started silently chuckling, she would’ve tensed at the words. Instead she just found herself accepting the compliment.

“Good, we should be back within an hour and a half. I’ll keep the meeting brief.” She allowed the audible sigh to escape her once the call ended. All she wanted to do was pass out and sleep for the next several days.

“This is good news, now we only have to find a way to open the box and locate the final ring.” She let out a humorless laugh at his words before turning her head back towards him.

“Yes, possible months of being trapped in a constantly shifting maze of magical woods. It’ll be easy.” She couldn’t stop the bitter tone from seeping into her words, but she was thankful he didn’t take offense to them.

“I didn’t say it would be easy, but we’ll find it together. Just like we did this one.” She didn’t bother responding, too tired to argue with him when he was just trying to look on the positive side. Instead she allowed his strokes to calm her troubled mind as she gazed back up at the stars.

“Do you see that bright star up there.” She asked raising her hand and pointing at the brightest spec visible after several minutes of quiet. He hummed and allowed her to continue as she dropped her hand back to her stomach. “That’s actually Venus, she’s always been my favorite of the planets.”

Hamish tried to keep his tone gentle in an effort to not have her retreat. “What makes it your favorite.” She turned her head towards his and saw he was looking up at the planet.

“I think it’s just how unique and mysterious it is. She’s often referred to as Earth’s sister because of her size. Astronomers originally thought that because of the size and milky appearance it was actually paradise and could be a second home. They also used to believe it was actually two different bodies and referred to her as the Morning Star and Evening Star. It would actually change when it became visible based on where it was in its orbit around the sun.

“Unlike most planets, Venus rotates in the opposite direction of the sun, but so slowly that it actually takes longer for a day to pass on Venus then a year. The most accepted reason is that something gargantuan hit it at just the right angle during the bombardment period to cause it to change direction. That would also explain why all the samples taken show the surface to be the same age. That much energy from the impact turned to heat and melted the surface of the planet.”

Vera didn’t notice that in her excitement over talking about the planet that she had started trailing her fingers gently over his arm draped across her. Occasionally her fingers would twine with his before stroking back up. Hamish fought grabbing hold of them, knowing it would knock her back to reality and he wanted to bask in her excitement.

“It wasn’t until we actually attempted to start landing drones that we discovered how hostile it was. See Venus’ atmosphere is made up of dense sulfuric acid clouds that allow the sun’s rays to come through, but not escape so it’s constantly heating up. It’s the definition of a runaway greenhouse effect.

“She’s the hottest planet in our solar system, reaching temperatures of 870 degrees Fahrenheit (465 C) despite being second from the sun. Because Venus doesn’t rotate on an axis, there aren’t actually any seasons.

“The pressure exerted is ninety-two times greater than earth and several probes sent were crushed before reaching the surface. The few that did land, quickly deteriorated from the heat and sulfuric acid. The longest a probe was able to last on the surface was just over two hours.”

Vera let out a quick laugh as her fingers suddenly threaded through his and tightened in her laughter. He found himself chuckling slightly despite not knowing the reason. Her laughter was contagious.

“You know Murphy’s Law? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong? Well, it doesn’t just apply to Earth.”

“No?” He tightened his hold just enough that he was holding her hand in his as she chuckled again.

“The second probe that successfully landed, Venera 14, was one of the few successful probes to eject the camera lens. Well guess where the lens landed.” She turned her amused eyes to him and he melted at the look on her face before asking where.

“Right beneath the drilling arm, so when the results were sent back to earth and we were analyzing what the surface was made up of all we got was information on the camera lens’ chemical make up. But at least we were able to get pictures from that one, right?”

He was laughing with her now at how devastated the project heads must’ve been when they got the results. “How do you know all of this?” His thumb stroked over her own and he watched as the humor started to fall from her face and felt her hand leaving his. She turned and looked back up towards the stars with a frown on her face as her hands laced together above her waste.

“I had a telescope as a kid.” He should be happy she didn’t pull away completely, but it still stung. He read the meaning underneath. Astronomy was something she must’ve shared with one or both of her parents. Though she still clearly loved it, her love of it was sullied by her past.

The silence that followed wasn’t unbearable, but it was definitely uncomfortable as he tried to think of something to take her mind off of her past.

“I was thinking, maybe Emile should join us in the forest. It may be the perfect opportunity to train her if she is Alpha. We could make up some reason for her to accompany us and I can spend some time each night showing her how to control and coexist with her hide.” He was surprised when she tensed and started to pull away.

“You’re right, I’ll think of something to tell Holger. Until we’re sure she can be trusted, I don’t want her knowing about you or the others.” She shouldn’t feel this way. Shouldn’t let the idea of Hamish spending his nights with the young blonde affect her so much. Especially when she knew she needed to distance herself. Her little story telling just now had caused her to slip again. It might be good to have someone around that forced her to keep him at arms distance.

She found herself shrugging off his arm when he attempted to pull her back down and moved towards his ripped clothing.

“I’ll mend these, you finish regaining your strength.” She at least came back and sat near him, but she was fully closed off to him again. Biting back the frustrated sigh he took his phone when she held it out and checked the message from Randall.

_‘Sick of teach yet? Also, we found some Prax-holes, but apparently mother Vera gave orders to this new Magus that we’re not allowed to interfere without getting permission? What’s up with that? When will you be back?’ - RC_

_‘Stop calling her mom and listen to the Magus like we agreed. We’ve had a few breakthroughs, but it looks like we may be here for a bit longer.’_ The pings came in swift succession, much faster than he expected and he noticed how Vera flinched slightly at the rapid pings.

_‘It’s so boring, and we’re Knights, we should be stopping the bad magic!’ - RC_

_‘I mean she is basically the mom in the Order.’ – RC_

_‘Oh god, could you imagine if she were a mom?! I’d feel so bad for that poor child. She’d be so strict that they would never get to have any fun. And god help them if they were sad or something, I mean she's not exactly warm and nurturing.’ - RC_

_‘Wait a second, how much longer? Is she keeping you prisoner?’ - RC_

Vera looked over at Hamish as she heard the growl and saw fury on his face as he stared at the phone. With the force he was gripping it she was surprised it didn’t crack under the pressure.

_‘Seriously Randall, enough with the mom comments. I don’t want to hear them again and you definitely don’t want Vera to hear them.’ - HD_

_‘I don’t know how long, we’ll find out more tomorrow. It could be a few months if the texts we found are to be believed. We’re hunting down something that’s needed for the ritual.’ - HD_

_‘It’s been a long day and it’s late, phone is going off. I’ll talk to you both tomorrow.’ - HD_

Without waiting for a response, he turned the phone off and just barely refrained himself from throwing it. He looked up to Vera’s profile, noting the slight frown and raised brow as she worked to restore his clothing and found his anger surge at the other wolf.

“Randall being Randall again.” He watched her give a silent ‘ah’ in understanding before switching to his pants.

“Do you think you’ll be able to hide Tundra’s reaction to the marking and entering the old vault?” She was pretty sure she that the messages were about her.

“It won’t be an issue; he knows to stay hidden.” She nodded and handed the mended clothes to him.

“Good, if you’re ready we should really be heading back soon.” Hamish nodded and dressed quickly before walking out of the castle grounds and back towards the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a huge astronomy nerd and studied it in college and basically Vera nerding out over Venus is almost word for word how I nerd out whenever anyone asks me about planets. Venus is my favorite for all the reasons mentioned. Next chapter should have a lot more plot.


	39. Amalia's Death and Emilie's Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, a lot happens in this chapter!

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Once they’d made it back to the car, Vera opened her phone and started making a list of items needed for an extended stay in foreign woods. It was as much to prepare as it was to give her something to focus on. Her typing paused for a second when Hamish turned the radio on to a quiet classical station.

Maybe fifteen minutes into the drive Hamish saw Vera’s head lull to the side facing him. He looked over and smiled at the site of her peaceful face as she slept. At a particularly long red light he just absorbed the image of the woman before him. Her left hand resting on her lap, diamond ring still on her ring finger.

The site kept pulling his attention as he drove and every time the small smile would cross his face he’d feel the stab of pain in knowing it wasn’t real. They weren’t engaged, they weren’t planning their wedding, they _weren’t_ dating.

 _‘Just give her time. Show her we’re not going to abandon her.’_ Tundra was speaking to himself as much as to Hamish. He knew Tundra was right, he’d already realized it earlier but it was hard to be patient when all he wanted to do was envelope her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her.

He heard her mumbling quietly in her sleep as they neared the temple and turned to see her brows had furrowed. He reached over slowly and gently brought his hand to her thigh and stroked it softly.

“You’re okay Vera.” He whispered hoping she’d be able to sleep the remaining few minutes. It seemed to work for the most part, but just as he pulled into the lot her muttering increased.

Looking over he saw her pained face as her breathing became erratic. He quickly threw the car in park where it was and took both her hands in his, squeezing each as he called her name and broke her out of her nightmare. Her eyes snapped to his and Hamish’s grip on her hands became vicelike.

It may have only been a second, but when Vera’s eyes met his they were pure gold.

She clutched his hands tightly as she bent forward and took ragged breaths. She was trying to force the images out of her mind like she had Amalie’s presence, but they were memories now.

“Oh god.” It was the anguished sob that had Hamish breaking his grip with her hands and running around the car to kneel in front of her.

“Vera talk to me, what’s going on.” He undid her buckle and twisted her, but it was as if she was staring at something unseen in her arms. Tears began forming in her eyes and her hands started shaking. He picked her up and moved them both to the back seat, positioning her in his lap so he could hold her.

“You’re safe Vera, whatever it was you saw, it’s not real okay? I need you to come back to me, come on.” His hand was rubbing rhythmic circles across her back as she fought to regulate her breathing and keep the tears at bay.

He was scared, when her gold eyes met his, Tundra immediately had both the desire to bow by the force of power and attack it. When they returned to their grey blue, Tundra had almost broken through with his concern over what was happening to her.

“Whatever you’re doing to her Amalie, you need to stop! You can’t have her!” Hamish raised his silver eyes as he snarled to the invisible threat. He felt Vera shaking her head as she gripped his jacket and focused back on her.

“I’m okay.” Her shaking had stopped, and her breathing had slowed but he could still hear the pain in her voice. Pushing her back slightly, he bent his head to meet her eyes and saw the same level of pain from when she’d been reliving her daughter’s death.

“What’d she do to you?” His free hand was cradling the side of her face as she focused on calming her mind.

“She knew about my daughter. I don’t know how I know that she knew, but I do. She forced me to witness Amalia’s death from her perspective. I felt her pain when she held her burnt body in her arms and tried to save her. She loved her Hamish, with everything she had, and her death broke her. She didn’t abandon her; she was trying to save her by drawing The Order away from her.”

“Do you think she’s going to hurt you or Emile?”

“I don’t know, she seemed confused about the hides. I don’t know if she still blames the Order, but I know she hated them. They killed two of her children and she just found out Amalia was killed to lure her out. She knows I’m in charge of The Order.”

“But you’re not her husband! _You_ didn’t kill her children. She would _never_ do that, Amalie.” He tightened his hold as he lifted his head expecting to see the golden eyes staring back at him, but there was nothing.

“I think…I think she knows that on some level but she’s just so angry right now.”

“The original vault, you said nothing unmarked should be able to penetrate it. Including her correct? She had already left the Order before the banishment. You should be safe from her until she calms down.” Hamish was already moving them out of the car in his attempt to keep her safe, but she put a hand on his chest.

“Just wait a second.” She took a deep breath, and her mask came back into place. “If you’re still here Amalie, know that I would _never_ allow a child to be killed because of who it’s parents are or what it is. I would fight till my dying breath to protect them. I know you heard me promise the same to Hamish earlier today and I _know_ you know it’s true. I felt it.

“I believe your daughter’s wolf survived and made it to Tundra’s group like you wanted. If I’m right, her name is Alpha and her wolf lived on as a hide that can chose a Champion to bond with. I will help you find her, but I need you to promise that you won’t hurt whoever she chose to bond with.”

Neither of them felt anything, but Vera suspected the woman was still around and listening. When nothing happened for the next few minutes, Vera nodded and climbed off of Hamish and out of the car, adjusting her clothes.

“Grab the box.” Hamish was in awe of this woman. Not fifteen minutes ago she was falling apart in his arms and now here she was as if nothing phased her. He knew she was still in turmoil within. Experiencing the brutal death of a young child and feeling the mother’s agony of witnessing it and realizing she was the reason her daughter was murdered.

Gritting his teeth, he reached in and grabbed the box with the ring, looking over his shoulder to ensure Vera was out of ear shot before he turned back to the empty car.

“If you hurt her in any way, I swear I will not stop until I find a way to kill you.” His eyes were silver as he ground out the threat before shutting the door and jogging to catch up to Vera.

The Temple was empty, but that wasn’t a surprise with how late it was. Holger was just walking out of the vault entrance when they arrived and gave them a relieved smile before signaling them to follow after him.

“We were able to find a bit more information on the Black Forest. It seems to impact your magical ability while you’re in it. It doesn’t hurt you I don't think, just seems to weaken your access to your magic to a negligible level to the point it’s unusable. The rings should be able to increase it to a point where you can use a weakened version of it if there’s a threat so I think whoever attempts to retrieve the Master ring should bring someone with one of the lesser rings with them just to be safe.”

Vera actually found a sense of relief wash through her at that. Hamish was aware of her nightmares and had at least witnessed her lose control once, but he didn’t understand the full effect. And if Ms. Brandt did accompany them, she wouldn’t need to know at all.

If she couldn’t pull on the magic without wearing a ring, it was less likely she’d find herself using unconscious magic and that would help to not speed up the cancer. And if the rings were more subtle than their normal power in the woods, then they likely wouldn’t have any of the side effects the journal talked about. They only had one accessible so far, but hopefully they’d have access to the other seven before they left.

“I’ll be retrieving the master ring. I may request one of two of your disciples to accompany myself and Mr. Duke when the time comes.” She watched Holger nod, but could see the sadness. He didn’t want her risking her life any more than Hamish did, but he also knew she wouldn’t let anyone else do it.

“Whatever you need Grand Magus.” He paused just outside of the original vault and Vera turned towards Hamish and cast the incantation to give him access. She had been hoping to do this in front of Ms. Brandt in an effort to gage her reaction, but the siblings must be in the back guarding the rings.

“You’ll feel a pressure just as you walk in that’ll remain constant, you’ll get used to it quickly.” Vera warned just before they all stepped over. She watched from the corner of her eye as Hamish clenched his hands, but his steps didn’t falter.

They rounded a corner and saw Fynn sitting on the floor leaning against the desk narrowly avoiding Emile’s legs swinging back and forth gently from where she sat atop the desk. The second she saw the three of them she jumped up and put both hands behind her back.

“Grand Magus.” She greeted happily before her eyes went as wide as saucers. “You’re _married_?!” Vera froze at the girls excited question and followed her gaze down to her left hand where the ring still sat. Her arms felt leaden as she brought both hands together and pulled the ring off her finger with a forced smile to cover the grimace.

She dared not look to Hamish who had stopped abruptly behind her at the question. She just hoped he was holding his own mask in check. She handed the ring back to Holger with a _thank you_ , not meeting his eyes knowing she would find a mix of an apology and pity, maybe a tiny bit of humor at her situation.

She turned back to find Emile’s face beat red and little bit confused. “I’m so sorry, it’s not my business.” Attempting to keep a neutral smile on her face Vera offered an explanation.

“It was a cover your Magus came up with so Mr. Duke and I could get in and tour the Castle grounds today to recover one of the eight rings. I forgot I was still wearing it. From what I hear it seems like while we were getting this one, you may have found the others?”

The girl’s eyes darted back and forth a few times between the three before she realized they were waiting for her and she flushed again. “Oh, um, yes. Right here.” She grabbed the box from the Table and held it out.

As soon as the other three stepped within an arm’s length of the siblings, the box started to shake slightly. Vera quickly steadied the box before it could fall from the startled girl’s hands and the etched pattern around the edges started to glow faintly in both of their grips.

She was just about to look over to Hamish when she saw him step up beside her and touched the box, the light increasing. Holger was next, catching on quickly. Vera noticed that as the light grew blinding and a painful buzzing filled the air that both Hamish’s and Emile’s hands tightened around the box.

She looked towards Hamish and saw him watching Emile in concern. Vera looked towards the girl and saw the subtle protrusions under her lips signaling the wolf’s canines trying to come out. She looked towards Fynn who was staring at his sister in concern before he stepped up quickly beside her.

He placed a hand on her back before slapping his other one on the box. The second his hand made contact a concussive force slammed into them and sent them all flying away from the box. Holger was the least fortunate as his head connected roughly with the shelf behind him and knocked him unconscious.

Hamish had managed to grab Vera and pull her into him midflight. He angled his body and wrapped an arm around her head and waist to shield her as they slammed into the ground and slid several feet. He looked down at her on his chest to make sure she was okay and despite her coughing, she was unharmed.

They both stood up and turned towards where the others would be when they heard the snarling. Vera’s head snapped towards the sound and saw a large tan wolf charging straight at her before Tundra pushed her behind him and slammed into the other wolf before towering over it.

She could hear the wolves snapping and snarling viciously as they fought with each other. The tan one attempted to get around Tundra’s large body again and Vera quickly stepped back as a massive paw swiped around Tundra’s side in an attempted to hit her. When it missed her, the wolf dragged its claws deeply against Tundra’s side eliciting a pained howl.

In Tundra’s moment of pain, the tan wolf found the opening to leap around Tundra and raised its massive paw to swing at Vera only to fall short as Tundra rammed into the other wolf pinning the tan shoulders to the ground.

Tundra’s ferocious enraged snarls drowned out the other wolf’s howls as it struggled to free itself. The tan wolf attempted to buck Tundra off and tried to swipe at Vera again from its place beneath him. Tundra growled furiously and forcefully slammed the tan wolf into the floor again, bringing his teeth to clamp around the back of the wolfs neck.

He applied just enough pressure to puncture the wolf’s skin making the threat clear. He held his hold snarling angrily until the other wolf’s bucking began to weaken and eventually calmed. The tan fur melted away into the shaking form of Emile.

Giant terrified broken sobs were wracking her body as she looked at Vera and apologized over and over again under Tundra’s grip. Vera stepped forward towards the girl and Tundra lifted his muzzle from Emile’s neck sending a warning growl towards Vera.

“Tundra, let her up.” The wolf huffed but did so. He paced around Vera however and snarled jumping in front of her and towards Fynn as he ran to his sister with tears in his eyes. “Let him get to her.” She soothed rubbing her hand through the wolf’s fur.

“Please, please don’t hurt her! She’s trying to learn to control it, she doesn’t want to hurt anyone! Please don’t kill her!” He was begging Vera as he tried to cover his sister and shield her from the other two. Vera walked over to the girl’s clothes, Tundra shielding her the entire way and as she mended the dress.

Walking back to the crying girl, only having to order Tundra _down_ once, she dropped into a crouch and held out the dress. Emilie attempted to grab it with shaking hands but Tundra’s warning growl from his place above Vera’s head had her yanking her hand back.

“Tundra, please. It’s alright.” Vera didn’t remove her eyes from the girl’s and encouraged her to take the dress again. “I won’t hurt you Emile, I promise. Get dressed.” Turning away from the girl to look at Tundra she could see the wolf was still unsettled.

She signaled for Tundra to follow her and mended Hamish’s clothes for the _third_ time that night. Once she was done, she turned back towards Tundra and held the clothes out for him.

“Thank you, Tundra.” He huffed again and ushered her a few steps further away from the other wolf before looking her over once again to ensure she wasn’t injured. “I’m fine. She’s got control now, it’s safe.” He looked towards the girl crying in her brother’s arms and tilted his head before nuzzling Vera gently and giving control back to Hamish.

“She’s not Alpha, the color is wrong. Tundra doesn’t recognize her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Amalie possession going on, but you learned a bit about her. And Hamish/Tundra have clearly threatened her...hopefully that doesn't come back to bite him in the ass...
> 
> Emilie IS a wolf, but which one?! She couldn't have been Alpha since we know Salvador is, and we know she's not Amalie either because the color is wrong...Any guesses on who she could be?


	40. Reassuring The Brandt's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews. There will be two types of jealous Vera that will show throughout this story...the one I think you all are waiting for however will be a ways away yet.
> 
> I do want to apologize in advance if there's any grammatical errors in this one. Today was a super busy, frustratingly long day at work.

CHAPTER FORTY

Both Vera and Hamish looked at Emile in shock at the news before Vera remembered Holger could wake up any minute. “Quick, get dressed. I need to talk with her.” She could see the hesitation on his face, but he nodded and let her approach the girl.

Vera watched Fynn tighten his hold on his sister as she approached and eyed her with a mixture of fear and desperation. “Does your Magus know you’re a werewolf?” She sighed as they both shook their heads and contemplated what to do.

“Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. No one but us four need to know what happened tonight, including the fact that Mr. Duke is a werewolf. Can you agree to that?” They both nodded their head and looked towards Hamish as he stepped up beside Vera.

“Ms. Brandt, do you think you have enough control for me to wake your Magus?” She watched the girl sniffling before taking a deep breath and gritting her teeth and nodding. Fynn watched her before turning back towards Vera.

“Something on your mind Mr. Brandt?”

“I just…The Order hates wolves. And she just attacked you…how do we know…you’re not going to hurt her right?” She was just about to respond when Hamish put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently before he crouched down.

“Trust me. She won’t hurt you.” Emile and Fynn met each other’s gaze before Emilie turned back to him.

“She called you Tundra? Are you Emerson’s Tundra? The leader of Silverback, Timber, Midnight and Greybeard?”

“That’s right, and because of Vera Stone those of us that are bonded with a hide are safe. The previous Grand Magus wanted us dead in his pursuit to bond with the Vade Maecum, but Vera walked into a wolf den, knowing we were enemies and helped us stop him.

“You may have lost control just now, but it's nothing compared to what we've done. Before she brought us into The Order, we actively killed disciples in our misguided attempt to stop bad magic. We were at war. It was before we learned our history you see, we're supposed to be allies. And even knowing about our wolves history, instead of killing us afterwards like the council wanted for our past crimes, she inducted us and continues to protect us despite the trouble we cause her.”

The siblings looked up wide-eyed at Vera who was trying not to stare openly at Hamish. “It’s true then?” Emile whispered to herself as a hint of a smile crossed her face before she frowned again. “But I almost killed you just now. It _hates_ you and I can’t control her. It’s not safe.”

“How long have you been bonded?” Vera cast a weak sleep spell on Holger to ensure he didn’t wake up before she sat in front of the girl.

“Just under two weeks now. Fynn and I were doing a patrol at the old castle and came across a group of praxis members carrying a clothing chest up from a tunnel they’d dug. We were able to run them off and they left the chest. When we opened it, I was attacked and the next thing I knew Fynn was waking me up and I was covered in blood. I killed one of the praxis members that was trying to flee.”

Her eyes were watering again and Fynn brought his hand up to rub her back. “You didn’t mean it Em, it wasn’t you. This was only your second time losing control and you didn’t hurt anyone, okay? Magic seems to set it off inside of her and she can barely hold the wolf back. How do you do it?” They both looked to Hamish who had joined Vera in sitting across from them.

“That’s really good Emilie, you should be proud to have kept it under control so well. Tundra and I have been bonded for nine years now, so I’ve had a lot of practice. In the beginning though I had another wolf there to help me. I’d like to help you try to get control and truly bond with your wolf if you’d let me?”

“I don’t want to risk hurting anyone when it comes out.” She looked terrified at the idea and glanced to Vera expecting to see resentment, but only understanding was present.

“We already came up with a possible solution after we both suspected you may be a wolf, we just thought you were a different one. Do you know your wolf’s name by chance?” She watched the girl make a confused face as she tried to focus. She met Vera’s eyes and shook her head before looking down as if she’d disappointed her.

“That’s okay, we only just learned Tundra’s name from the journals. Something corrupted the hide's memories; it seems like your wolf may have been affected to. Or maybe its because she doesn’t have a symbiotic relationship yet?” She looked to Hamish in question and he tilted his head and nodded at the possibility.

“You said you had a possible solution to help her get control without risking her hurting anyone?” Fynn was starting to think his sister might be safe. He found himself trusting the two people in front of him. It was either because of his desperation to save his sister or the way the two interacted. It was clear they respected each other.

“We’re going to attempt to find the master ring in the Black Forest. It seems like we may be there for a while and if you’re comfortable joining us, it would allow Mr. Duke to train you.” She felt the jolt of pain go through her as the two wolves smiled at each other, but she bit back the grimace.

“But…what if I can’t stop her? What if I hurt you?” She was looking at Vera with terrified eyes.

“You don’t have to worry about that, Tundra won’t let you.” Hamish just barely stopped the happy purr from escaping his lips at Vera’s assurance. Tundra was vibrating under his skin in pleasure at the trust she had in him. He saw the blond look at him with questioning eyes and he nodded.

“You already witnessed it. He won’t let you hurt her. It’s important for you, your wolf and everyone else that you learn to control and coexist with your wolf.” She looked at them both once more to be sure they would make sure she didn’t hurt anyone before agreeing to join them.

“Could I come? I know she won’t hurt me; her wolf knows I’m her brother.” Vera was met with both of the siblings pleading faces and though she didn’t want to endanger the Magistratus, it would be good for the girl to have someone she trusts with her.

She felt Hamish nudge her and looked towards him. He met her gaze with a small smile before pointing off to the right of the siblings. She saw the box with the rings was sitting on the floor, lid flipped open. She gave a half smile knowing the boy must be strong enough to wield and control one of the lesser rings otherwise the box wouldn’t have opened.

The siblings looked in the direction the others were and saw the open box, making the same connection. They still looked back to their Grand Magus, waiting for her decision. At her nod the two gave a relieved sigh and thanked her.

“I’m going to wake your Magus now. Remember, not a word about wolves alright?” All three nodded and Vera quickly roused Holger, checking the back of his head.

“What happened? Are the disciples alright?” He batted Vera’s hands away to see the other three occupants. When they all sent a smile towards him, he let out a deep relieved sigh and looked back at Vera.

“It seems we only need to find four more members.” She smiled slightly as she helped him up and walked towards the box. All seven golden rings sat in a circle. Their golden chains encircling each one. Hamish brought the box they recovered over to her and she removed the gold ring from within it and placed it in the vacant spot.

“Just one left.” Vera sounded confident to everyone except Hamish. He heard the frightened tone in her voice at the idea of the master ring and felt his hand twitching as he fought reaching out to grab hers. “I’d like for both Brandt’s to accompany Mr. Duke and myself to the Black Forrest. Would that be acceptable?” She looked to Holger first to see him looking at the siblings who both nodded.

“Of course, I’ll make arrangements for their classes. When would you like to head out?”

“Take today to rest and prepare for an extended stay in the woods, we’ll meet here at eight tomorrow morning to grab the rings before heading out. That’s all.” She dismissed the two siblings who nodded and quickly made their way out. “I’d like the three of us to set up some enchantments on the rings before we leave.”

The two men nodded and together they layered multiple barriers over the rings that should only be able to be broken by the three of them. When they finished, Vera stumbled slightly and just barely caught herself on the desk.

“We’ll rest now and meet back here this evening to go over the list for the final four ring bearers.” Holger nodded and said good night before he started the process to lock up. Hamish was thankful the man was further behind and not able to see them when Vera slumped against his side.

“Vera?” His arm wrapped around her lower back and pulled her into him to keep her upright. Her steps started to slow as they walked out of the building and he noticed her breathing was deep.

“Just tired.” Hamish picked her up bridal style as she tripped over her foot and smiled as she snuggled into his chest with a sleepy hum. He should’ve known she was running on fumes.

She hadn’t really taken time to rest. After the first attack sent her flying, then going right back in for the second, the drain when they successfully broken the enchantment. She had mended his clothes, then had been fighting off Amalie when he _thought_ she was sleeping only to live through the other woman’s trauma. She took another blast when the ring enchantment broke and still continued using magic after.

He carefully placed her in the car, smiling at her sleepy protest of leaving his warmth. He placed his jacket over her and buckled her in before driving the short distance to their hotel. She barely stirred when he lifted her out of the car and brought her upstairs to her bed, trying to ignore the knowing smile on the receptionist’s face.

Once she was tucked in, he placed a soft kiss to her forehead and turned around. “If you’re here Amalie, leave her alone. She can’t help you if she can’t rest.” Leaving the room, he grabbed a small handful of powder before making his way back to the front desk. The receptionist gave him a happy smile right before the dust covered her and he removed the memory of him carrying Vera up to the room to prevent rumors spreading throughout The Order.

He cast a quick enchantment to corrupt the video file and made his way out to the car to grab the case of wine and folder from the tour. When he walked back in with it, he gave a quick nod to the receptionist and continued back towards the room.

He hesitated only briefly when he started passing her room on the way to his. With the knowledge of Amalie trying to get into Vera’s head and knowing Vera was too tired to perform her mind protection enchantment, he quietly opened her door and climbed in beside her.

Vera turned in her sleep state and snuggled into him with an arm across his chest. He placed another kiss to her forehead as he traced the now bare finger resting on him. “We’ll get through this together Vera. I love you.” He tightened his grip around her back before allowing her gentle breathing to lull him under with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love sleepy Vera...which is why she will continue to show throughout the entire thing :)


	41. Josepha’s Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...I don't know about anyone else living in the states, but I certainly haven't been able to relax/focus on work at all today so...instead I wrote to try to distract myself...it's not as happy as the last one unfortunately...

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Hamish woke hours later when he felt Vera climbing back in the bed. He watched as she fell back against her pillow and snuggled into the blankets with a soft sigh. One eye popped open when she felt him watching before she groaned and turned her head further into the pillow.

“We have a few hours yet before we need to be up, don’t worry.” He placed a gentle kiss to her temple before climbing out of bed himself. She tracked his movements with one eye as much as she could without moving her head. He laughed as he looked back at her to see her sleepy confused gaze following him gathering cloths.

“I’m going to grab some stuff for breakfast. There isn’t anything here and I've learned my lesson to not let you go hungry.” Her one-eyed glare was still more intimidating then most, but he just found it adorable. He walked back over and gave her a quick deep kiss.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll be back shortly.” He promised after pulling back and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Be careful.” She whispered under her breath as she heard the door close. She shifted slightly until she was on his pillow and breathed deeply before drifting back to sleep.

Hamish made a quick stop at the little market he’d seen yesterday to grab a few items for dinner and breakfast tomorrow. He decided on chicken parmesan with broccoli and penne. It was a quick and easy dish, but one of his favorites to make.

Once he checked out, he made the short trip to the little bakery they stopped at yesterday and was happy to see the little woman in the window. He walked in and greeted the woman with a large smile. She looked behind him and frowned slightly when she didn’t see Vera.

“We got in late last night, she’s still sleeping. I thought I’d surprise her with some of your wonderful cinnamon buns.” She smiled sweetly at him and readied a to-go container, raising her brow to ask how many. “Four, and two large coffees please.”

“Here you go dear. You take care of that fiancé of yours.” He couldn’t stop the happy smile from spreading across his face. The lady smile knowingly at him and he felt the small blush bloom across his cheeks.

“That’s the plan. Thank you again.”

“Stop back anytime.” She sent a small wave as he backed out of the shop, hands occupied balancing the coffees and pastries.

He’d only been gone for maybe an hour, but when he walked in their hotel room, he knew something was wrong. He could smell the smoke coming from the bedroom. Quickly dropping the groceries on the counter, he rushed towards Vera’s room to see her gagging as she tried to douse the fire.

“Vera? What happened?” Her eyes snapped to his and he saw the tears she was just barely holding back. He sent a quick incantation to put out the last few flames and restore the chair before dropping down to his knees in front of her.

“She lost everything.” Vera whispered brokenly and sank into his arms when he pulled her against him. She allowed the tears to fall as the images played in her mind. The nausea from the images and free magic grew and she pushed off of him and ran towards the bathroom, just making it to the toilet in time as she emptied the meager contents of her stomach.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered between heaving. She knew the woman was probably still present to hear her apologies, even though Vera had nothing to apologize for. She flinched when she felt Hamish pulling her hair out of her face before rubbing her back gently.

“What’s going on Vera? Talk to me.” She rest her forehead on her crossed arms as she attempted to soothe the roiling in her stomach. She focused on the calming motion of his hand on her back until the heaving stopped and she could sit back.

He grabbed some mouth wash and handed the small cup to her. Once the acidic taste was out of her mouth and Hamish had flushed the toilet, she took several deep breaths through her nose before looking over to him.

His face was concerned, and he looked like he didn’t know what to do. She smiled weakly and signaled him to sit beside her. He sat just close enough that his knee was touching hers, but not too close for her to feel overwhelmed.

“She didn’t kill her daughter like the journal said, though she blames herself for her death. She was just trying to get her daughters out of Germany and away from her husband and The Order. She _did_ summon Ishtar, but not to fight The Order. There was no alliance there, she hates her as much as The Order, if not more.

“She only summoned her to try to make a deal to keep her daughter’s safe. She offered her magic to her, but Ishtar wanted a life in exchange. She thought she meant her life, she didn’t know.” Vera looked at Hamish with watery eyes and didn’t pull away when he pulled her into him and wrapped her tightly in his arms.

“Ishtar was furious over being summoned by a mortal, but even more so when she realized it was a descendent of Gilgamesh. She still hated him for refusing her and anyone related to him was just as bad to her. She tricked Amalie into agreeing to the trade, but she killed her daughter instead and laughed.”

A broken sob swept through Vera as the image of the little girl writhing in pain flashed in her mind. She knew _she_ didn’t live it, but she felt everything Amalie felt as if she were there. She could hear the screams of agony as her daughter convulsed in her arms. Could feel the deep gashes digging into her arms as her daughter’s wolf tried to fight the pain. Could hear her other daughter’s panicked screaming as she watched her older sister.

She felt the pain rip through her as her daughter took her last anguished breaths. Could see her younger daughter collapse on the ground beside her as she started convulsing. Could feel her own body shaking through the pain as she tried to reach out for her baby as her wolf forced its way out of her a year early.

Watched as the auburn wolf, _so_ much like Josepha’s wolf broke through and tried to attack Ishtar who just laughed lyrically at them. Felt her daughters blood coat her claws and teeth as she desperately dug into the wolf’s flesh in an attempt to keep her from attacking Ishtar, to try to keep her safe. Felt the agonizing tear in her heart as she had to abandon her daughter on the side of the road to save her last child from the same fate.

“Her daughter suffered so much Hamish, and she couldn’t do anything to stop her torment. She watched her baby die a terrible death and couldn’t even mourn her. Whatever Ishtar did forced the wolf out of her younger daughter and she had to leave one daughter’s body on the side of the road to save her other.”

She could hear her baby’s desperate howls as she tried to get back to save her sister, but was unable to break her mother’s grip on her neck as she dragged her away from the demon. Could feel the anguish as her daughter returned to her human self and broke in her arms. The pain when she had to tell her nine year old daughter that she needed to run, make for the colonies and find the other wolves.

Her baby screaming that she couldn’t leave her and trying to make the young girl understand that this was more important. The book needed to be hidden. She _needed_ her daughter to survive.

“All she wanted was to save her children, and she couldn’t. They all died.” She broke in his arms at the helplessness. She’d felt it before when she was unable to save her own daughter. This poor woman had lost all of her children, and it was all because of the order. She understood the hatred she held but didn’t understand why she was making her live these memories. Why was she torturing her?

“Shh, I’m here. We’ll get through this.” Why couldn’t he see what a monster she was? She’d failed her babies, all of them. She shook her head violently. No, that _wasn’t_ her, that was Amalie. And she wasn’t a monster, it wasn’t her fault.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She whispered through her slowing tears. “Ishtar tricked you, _she’s_ the one to blame. Help us take her down.” Her voice was strong, and Hamish was relieved to see her conviction. He had no idea if the woman was still in the room with them, or even how she was still alive, but Vera could handle her.

They sat on the bathroom floor for several minutes as Vera’s breathing slowly normalized. “I’m going to take a quick shower.” It was clear she didn’t want company. She may appear mostly back to her normal self, but he knew she needed some time alone to deal with the images.

He gave a quick kiss to her temple and helped her up before starting out of the bathroom. “I have breakfast and coffee for you when you’re done.” She sent a distracted nod towards him as she turned on the hot water and started to strip.

He put the few groceries away and preheated the oven to warm the cinnamon buns and walked into her room to tidy the mess from her use of magic. He was concerned over her unplanned usage of it. This is the second time she unconsciously performed magic that he’d been aware of. He knew she was always in control while conscious, and the fact that she was sending such powerful magic out when she woke from nightmares worried him.

If she hurt anyone during one of these episodes, he knew she would never forgive herself. He just didn’t know how to ease her suffering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad for Amalie :'( And poor Vera being subjected to it.


	42. It Was Just An Act, Hamish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every day should be voting day (just kidding, I wouldn't be able to survive that...please end the anxiety already!!)
> 
> But here's another chapter tonight (thanks Seidling and Chinadoll00 for last chapters comments!) I think a bit of voting anxiety may have seeped in a bit...sorry...

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Hamish had just finished warming the cinnamon buns and coffee for the second time when Vera walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Her face showed she was still deep in thought and didn’t seem to notice he was in the kitchen as she walked into her room. He put two pastries on each plate beside the coffees and waited.

She came back in with her robe and hair combed. Sitting in the empty seat and taking a swallow of the coffee before she turned to Hamish.

“I think Ishtar created the hides when she killed Amalie’s daughter.” He almost choked on his coffee as Tundra sprang up at the news. Not enough to break through, but clearly paying attention.

“It just fits. The wolf wasn’t supposed to surface until Amalia turned ten, and yet it appeared early, for the first time ever in history? And it looked just like her older sister’s wolf, I mean identical. A juvenile auburn colored wolf. She even had the exact same white markings around the eyes and ears…”

 _‘That’s Alpha!’_ Tundra put the image in Hamish’s mind, and he found himself nodding along with Vera.

“That sounds like Alpha.” Vera looked at him before taking another sip.

“It was a loophole. Ishtar wanted to hurt Amalie for summoning her but had to honor the contract to keep her daughter’s safe. This way the spirit and memories, although corrupted, of her daughters would always be safe inside the hide even if their bodies weren’t. And it would explain how Alpha was able to survive when Amalia was killed a few months later.”

“But Tundra and the others weren’t there. They weren’t part of Amalie’s bargain, why would they be effected?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was some new way for Ishtar to curse descendants of Gilgamesh without having more future wolves to deal with? What I witnessed Amalia going through and what I felt through Amalie looked and felt like what you and the others experienced when Ishtar broke through. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.”

She broke off a small piece of the cinnamon bun and popped it into her mouth almost on autopilot before she registered what it was. The sweet taste filled her mouth and had her looking down at the dessert with a soft smile.

“Thank you.” She said before popping another piece into her mouth. Hamish grinned at her despite the news. She was coming back fully to the present and that was good.

“You’re welcome. Though I have to admit, she was disappointed to see you weren’t there with me. She seems quite taken with you, not that I can blame her.” His flirtatious smile dropped slightly as a grimace crossed her face. “What?”

“Just imaging what her reaction would’ve been if I had walked in and she realized yesterday was all just one big act.” It felt like she was being stabbed by a hot poker as the hurt crossed his face and he turned towards his plate.

“I don’t think she would’ve believed it was _just_ an act.” She heard the tone and her movement faltered slightly as she was lifting her coffee. She sighed deeply before setting the cup down.

“But it _was_ an act. We aren’t engaged Hamish; we never will be. We’re not even dating. We’re _just_ sleeping together, that’s all.” God it hurt to say, but it was true. No matter how much she wished it weren’t the case, they could _never_ be anything more. She wouldn’t do that to him.

“Right. I promised to call Jack and Randall and give them an update…”

“It’s barely eight there, at least finish your breakfast.” Her heart plummeted as he pushed the chair in and walked off towards the bedroom, his own this time. It was for the best, she thought to herself before pushing her half-eaten breakfast away. He _needed_ to get over her.

She made her way back to her room and began getting dressed. She might as well meet Holger early to go over their list. She hesitated on her way to his room to let him know she was headed out. Instead she pulled her phone out and sent a quick message, hearing the small ping telling her he wasn’t on the phone.

She waited a few minutes to see if he would insist on joining her, but his door remained shut and no reply came. _It’s for the best._ She repeated breathing through the pain as she left the building.

Throughout the entire meeting with Holger she felt the ache in her chest. She wanted to burst into his room and take all the words back. Tell him she didn’t mean it and tell him how much she cared for him. But she couldn’t do any of that. If his pain hurt her now, when he finds out she's dying it may kill her faster than the cancer.

She couldn’t help the twitch of a smile when she got his message. She looked back up at Holger before responding and it was by sheer willpower alone that she hid the blush at his inquisitive look. He definitely suspected something.

She was able to move the subject off of her before he asked any questions, and after the first forty minutes they had been able to come up with a solid list of four other candidates. They spent the next half hour on the phone informing council of their plan to pull in the four members from the other temples, keeping the reasoning and rings a secret for obvious reasons.

It was actually somewhat entertaining listening to council go on and on when Holger was present. He seemed to share her distaste for them and would often meet her eyes before rolling his dramatically at one of the obscenely idiotic remarks made. She had to hold her humored laughs in more than once, but found herself joining in on his expressions. Especially whenever Bennett would speak.

Once they’d gotten council on board, calling and notifying the other members had been relatively easy. All agreed to make arrangements and travel out within the week. If it took her longer to get the ring, they promised to help protect the chapter and disciples from Ishtar until Vera returned.

It was almost four fifteen when they finally finished. Holger assured her he’d have all the gear packed and ready to go for tomorrow before walking her out of his office. He caught her elbow just before she left the room and hesitated.

“Yes?” She watched as he looked around the room and followed his gaze not seeing anyone.

“You and Mr. Duke…is there something there?” He watched her eyes widen slightly and had his answer. He wanted her to be happy, for a decade now he had watched as she pushed everyone away and given everything she had to The Order.

He was happy she finally found someone she trusted to let past her walls. He saw the briefest flash of pain before her mask was back in place and he didn’t fight her as she jerked her arm away from him.

“There is _nothing_ going on between me and my disciple Schroeter and I would thank you to not bring it up again.” He saw the pain in her eyes and realized the man may have gotten past her walls, but she wasn’t allowing herself to be happy. He sighed deeply before nodding.

“My apologies Grand Magus. Please let me know if you need anything else before tomorrow.” He watched her leave and saw the way her shoulders shook slightly as she tried to breathe. “Just be selfish for once in your life Vera. Do what makes you happy.” He knew she couldn’t hear him and wouldn’t listen even if she had, he just wished she would.

She stopped off quickly at the shop around the corner to grab a few hiking clothes for herself. At the last minute she grabbed a pair of hiking boots and clothes that should fit Hamish if he needed them. She set both bags on the passenger seat before checking to see it was just after five and sent a quick message to Hamish.

* * *

Hamish knew he needed to back off and not argue with her. His innocent comment was enough to send her retreating in on herself. She was dealing with Amalie’s emotional torture right now and whatever else it was that was causing her to barricade herself off from him.

He knew if he stayed in the same room with her, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from trying to convince her to let herself be cared for. He also knew that if that happened, she would retreat completely and there would be no way to salvage anything. A few steps back was something they could come back from. If she shut him out completely because he pushed too hard for more when she wasn’t ready, there would be no hope for them.

He heard the door shut and let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he stood up. He walked into the kitchen where he’d placed the folder the other night and sat down heavily on the couch before pulling out the images Lisa had taken of them.

It was so clear in this image how much they cared about each other. Lisa picked up on it and so did the lady in the bakery. He traced over her happy smiling face as her earlier words washed over him. It hurt to hear her say it, but he hurt for her more. He held clear evidence of her love for him, but she wouldn’t allow herself to be happy. She seemed determined to stop him from caring for her.

Why was she so insistent on denying herself happiness? And why was she trying so hard to push him away? He heard the words again and felt the pull from the box of wine in front of him. He opened it numbly and started to reach for one of the bottles. He pulled the bottle and walked over to the counter where the bottle opener was. It was just as he was about to pull the cork out that he stopped short at the last second. He forced his hands off the opener and gripped the counter tightly with clenched eyes.

“No!” He ground out pushing himself away from the counter and quickly walking back to the small table and picked up the image and focused on the image in front of him. Her smiling face eased the pain enough that he was able to resist the pull of the alcohol. He knew she loved him, that would be enough for now. It had to be. In the meantime, he would give her what she needed.

Taking a deep breath, he put the pictures back in the folder and brought it to his room, grabbing his bags from Vera’s room on the way. He quickly started sorting through the few belongings deciding what he should bring with them. There were a few changes of clothes that weren’t suits that _could_ work for backpacking through the woods, they weren’t ideal though. He also didn’t have any camping gear.

Taking out his phone he sent a quick text to Vera. _‘Running to the store, no hiking/camping gear with me.’_

Her response was faster than he expected. _‘No need, we have gear already. All you need is a few changes of clothes.’_ That should be easy enough. He was a little embarrassed to admit he’d never _actually_ gone camping in the woods before so he wasn’t sure what gear was even needed besides a tent and sleeping bag.

Taking out the suits and hanging them as well as any other items he wouldn’t be taking he was left with four sets of clothes which should be plenty with the cleansing incantation. He hoped at least. He debated for a second before he slipped the photo of them between two shirts.

He decided to read through the journal they brought from their temple to pass the time, but it only mentioned Ishtar in passing. The majority of it dealt with Rogwan, most of which he’d already learned. Once he was finished, he decided to actually call and update the others. Calling Jack this time, still irritated with the other wolf.

_“Hamish, Randall said you’d made some progress?”_

“Is Randall there with you?” He didn’t want to deal with his snarky comments.

 _“Nah, he’s out with Gabrielle.”_ Hamish bite back the _fucking hypocrite_ he wanted to sling and shook his head.

“I can’t say too much over the phone, but we did find a way to banish her. We’re still missing a key component though. That’s the part that may take longer. It’s apparently hidden away in magical shifting woods. It could take a month or two before we can find what we need and actually find our way out if the records are true. I also don’t know if we’ll be able to get calls during that time, it has some magical barrier around it.”

They would have to test it tomorrow, see if they couldn’t call each other once they crossed the barrier. If they couldn’t, they’d have to make a few arrangements before they entered.

_‘Damn. Is there any other way to get rid of her?’_

“It doesn’t look like it. I also can’t say much, but there’s some really bad history with the German chapter, wolves and Ishtar. If we’re successful I plan to ask Vera to let me stay a bit longer to research more of our history.”

 _“How’s that all going for you by the way?”_ He could hear the concern in Jack’s voice and found himself smiling slightly.

“Sometimes it’s great, but she seems dead set on pushing me away. I know she cares, but she won’t let herself be happy.”

_“Her past did a number on her; it’s not going to be easy.”_

“I know, she told me a little bit about it. It's just...I have a feeling it’s something else though, I don’t know why. I really shouldn’t be talking about her though. I just wanted to give you a heads up that it may be awhile before we’re back.”

_“I’ll tell Randall. Call if you need anything.”_

“Hey, can you try to discourage Randall from the mom comments towards Vera? Don’t tell him why, just if you hear him making any, just…”

_“I got it.”_

“Thanks Jack. We’re planning to arrive at the woods tomorrow a bit before midday, so I’ll send a text if we’ll be reachable, if not I'll call. Please keep Randall in line, don’t let him go after Praxis without getting the Magus’ permission. Vera is busy enough trying to deal with the banishment, she doesn’t need to worry about Randall too.” Jack promised to try before they both ended the call.

Hamish checked the time on his phone and saw it was nearing four. Deciding it was still a bit early to start cooking he grabbed a pair of lounge pants and t-shirt and headed for the shower. Maybe the heat would help put him back in the mindset to be around Vera without blurting out how much he loved her.

_‘In time Hamish. We know she cares, don’t give up on her.’_

“Never.” He promised to all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...Vera's being Vera again...but also being super cute and buying clothes and shoes for him...and adorably obvious enough for Holger to pick up on it.
> 
> Plus a theory on the hide creation!


	43. She Never Wanted To Fall In Love, But She Wanted To Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While we still anxiously wait for Nevada to get on with it, enjoy a mostly nice chapter all about Vermish.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Hamish was in the process of slicing the chicken breasts in half when his phone pinged. Seeing it was Vera, he quickly washed and dried his hands before opening the message.

 _‘Leaving, should I get food?’_ – Vera

 _‘Already taken care of.’ –_ Hamish

He poured her a glass of wine and set it on the counter before washing his hands again. He added a thin layer of sour cream to the top and sides of each piece before mixing the panko, paprika, cheese and olive oil in a small bowl. Pinching the mixture out and evenly covering the sour cream before popping the tray in the oven.

Just as he was washing his hands, he heard the door opening. He quickly set the timer for twenty minutes before moving on to chopping the broccoli. He heard her set a few bags down before grabbing the glass of wine and walking over to him.

“What are you making?” He could hear the hesitancy in her tone and fought the urge to turn towards her. Instead he started on the last head of broccoli as he ran down the menu. “With sour cream?” He couldn’t stop the chuckle at her disgusted tone.

“I know how it sounds, but I promise you will love it. I learned it in one of my classes and it’s so much better than regular chicken parmesan.” He saw her unconvinced look before tracking her hand attempting to stealthily steal a piece of broccoli. “If you don’t like it, we can order something. But I know you’re going to.” 

Seeing him cooking, for her no less, did things to her. She wanted to press him against the counter and have her way with him. But she knew it would only make things worse. They were both hurting, and she knew if they slept together again, especially so soon after playing a happily engaged couple, it would just blur the line even further. Instead she reached for another piece of broccoli to stop herself from acting on her desires.

He pretended he didn’t see her swipe another floret as he loaded them into the pot to start steaming. “Were you guys able to come up with a list of people?” He still didn’t look at her as he filled another pot with water for the pasta and Vera felt the stab in her chest.

“We did, they should be here within the week.” He gave a quick nod before he started washing the prep dishes, still not meeting her gaze. Setting her glass down on the counter she grabbed the bags and walked towards her bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes.

The second her door was shut she let out the shuddering breath she was holding in and lent back against the door closing her eyes. When she opened them and saw his stuff gone, she found herself sliding down the door. It hurt to breathe, but she refused to let herself cry over this, not when she was the one who was causing it.

Gritting her teeth, she pushed herself up and pulled out her favorite pair of yoga pants, an off the shoulder sweater and quickly dressed. She checked her face in the mirror quickly and nodded to herself before grabbing her favorite book and walked back out. She grabbed her glass of wine on the way to the couch and positioned herself in the corner of it, feet pulled up under her.

She tried to focus on the words on the page but couldn’t. Holger’s words, Lisa’s words, the old lady’s and even Hamish’s words kept flowing through her mind. How did she let this happen? She never wanted to hurt him. She never wanted to fall in love.

She missed the oven timer going off and Hamish calling her name. It wasn’t until he stood in front of her and called her name again that she snapped out of her trance.

“What?” And then the smells hit her. God it smelled wonderful. She saw the plates on the counter and looked back at him confused. “It’s done already?” How long had she been lost in her own thoughts? His look changed from amused to concerned.

“Are you okay? You’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes.” Her eyes widened momentarily before she put her book down and walked towards the counter.

“Good book.” He nodded at her but she could see he didn’t believe her. He poured her another glass of wine as she sat and she had to admit, the chicken did look mouthwatering. She cut into it and brought a small piece to her mouth; aware of him watching her.

“I told you you would love it.” And she did. It was moist and whatever he put in the topping was delicious. How did it stay so crispy?

“You get to cook while we’re camping.” She said right before she put another piece in her mouth. She watched as he froze and blushed a bit. “What?”

“I’ve never cooked over a fire; I’ve never actually been camping before. My parents didn’t believe in ‘roughing’ it and wouldn’t have me participate in anything they deemed ‘unbecoming’. I just never got the chance to go.” He added at her baffled expression.

“Your deprived childhood.” She uttered in disbelief. Camping was one of the best childhood memories she had. If it weren’t for the threat hanging over their heads and the idea of being _trapped_ inside the magical forest, she’d be a lot more excited to be going.

She saw him start to shift under her stare and she broke it, looking back to her plate. “It’s not too hard, I’ll teach you and _then_ you can cook the rest of the meals.” She sent a teasing smirk his way to lessen his discomfort and was pleased to see his easy smile back in place.

“I take it this isn’t your first time camping then?”

“I used to go at least once a year. I haven’t had the opportunity to go in the last few years though. I can honestly say didn’t think the next time I’d go it would be because under these circumstances.” His mind pictured Vera in skin tight hiking clothes and boots, hair in a side braid without a hint of makeup on. The image was sexy and just so not the Vera he had come to know. He needed to distract himself, now.

“I was talking with Jack earlier and a thought crossed my mind. If the barrier stops magic from getting though, do you think our phones will still work?” She tilted her head as she chewed another piece before washing it down with a sip of wine.

“Definitely something to test. Though if we’re there more than a few days it won’t really matter anyways as the phones will be dead. If they don’t get service, we could at least remove the portable chargers to make the packs lighter.”

“I promised to let Jack and Randall know before we go in, so they know what’s happening.” She nodded in understanding before steeling herself.

“Holger should be packing three tents for us.” She speared another piece of chicken as she waited for him to make the connection.

“Understandable. One for Emile and Fynn, one for you and one for myself.” He stated it like it were obvious, but she could hear something she couldn’t quite place underneath.

“Since we’ll be staying so close to them, you realize nothing can happen while we are there right?” She glared at her plate and her fingers tightened on her fork.

“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Hamish understood that it was necessary to do it like this, but he also knew she would use it as an excuse to pull back. Either way he would respect her decision. He wouldn’t do anything unless she made it clear she wanted him to. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to show her he still cared, however.

They finished their dinner with minimal conversation. Vera filled him in on the members they chose, two from the Brazilian chapter, one from the French and the previous German Temple Magus. He took both their plates when they finished and set to work on cleaning the kitchen.

Vera watched him for a second with sad eyes, before offering to help. “We’ll be traveling in the woods for who knows how long, why don't you draw yourself a bath while you still can?” Her frown deepened, how can a suggestion sound so much like a dismissal?

He must have heard it too because he let out a sigh and dropped his head. “I only meant you’ve had a long couple of days and deserve to relax before we start backpacking through the woods for the foreseeable future.”

“So do you.” She wanted to kick herself, she was trying to make this easier for him. It didn’t matter that she wanted to relax _with_ him. She watched as his hands tightened on the sink for a second before picking up a plate.

“Don’t worry about me. I was planning to cast a movie after I finish.” Now that _was_ a dismissal and she understood it. She hadn’t asked him to join and he made the connection. She was sure if she had asked that he would happily join her. He was letting her call the shots.

“What movie were you thinking about?” Vera knew it would be better if she went and took a bath while he watched his movie, but this was their last night where they could be together. They didn’t have to sleep together, just watching a movie should be innocent enough. She knew she was lying to herself but couldn’t bring herself to see through the feeble lie.

Hamish turned his head to look at her and saw the war going on behind her eyes as she played with the stem of her glass. She wanted to stay. Wanted to spend the evening with him. He gave a small smile as he turned back to finish the last dish before drying his hands.

“Have you seen _The Martian_?” She shook her head and he smiled. “You’ll love it! Here, take this and go settle in.” He handed her the open bottle of wine and left the room in a whirlwind. He came back just as she sat down and unfurled his comforter over her legs before climbing under the other side.

Vera barely hid the pout when he sat down on the other side of the small couch but knew he did it so she didn’t feel suffocated. She watched as he typed into his phone before looking at her in curiosity.

“What?”

“Do you have a tendency to fall asleep during movies?”

“I don’t watch many movies…”

“Then you should do your protection enchantment now just in case you do fall asleep.” He watched the soft smile spread on her face before she closed her eyes. She twirled two fingers on each hand in a complicated motion as she muttered several words he could catch before touching each temple.

He saw the subtle glow leave her fingers and travel into her skin. She opened her eyes, and he could swear he saw a faint glow in their depths before they returned to the grey blue he was so captivated by. He gave a happy nod before starting the movie.

He felt her watching him as he laughed at one of the parts and flicked his eyes towards her. “You’re missing it.” He smiled as she turned back to the movie with the faintest flush on her cheeks. As the movie progressed her laughter grew, and he found himself watching her more than the movie.

Maybe an hour into the movie she stood suddenly, and he immediately paused it. “I’m just running to the bathroom Hamish; you can keep watching.”

“Then you might miss something, _I’ve_ seen this before.” She rolled her eyes but didn’t bother arguing with him. When she returned neither one commented on the fact that she’d sat much closer, to the point where if Hamish shifted his arm off the back of the couch his hand would easily fall on her opposite shoulder.

He noticed when her laughter started to die down into small chuckles and looked over at her out of the corner of his eyes just in time to see her yawning with tired eyes. “Do you want me to pause it?” He whispered as he dropped his arm around her and stroked her shoulder with his thumb.

She shook her head and allowed herself to shift further into him. Giving a contented sigh when he pulled her fully against him. It was maybe ten more minutes until he felt her head drop heavily to his shoulder and her breathing even out.

He turned the volume down so the loud noises wouldn’t wake her and set an alarm for six before continuing with the movie. He only lasted maybe another thirty minutes before her gentle breathing pulled him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's trying so hard to distance herself and failing.
> 
> Little notes;  
> If you haven't tried chicken parm like that, I HIGHLY recommend it. My reaction was like Vera's but it's what the recipe called for and I will literally never go back.  
> The whole person getting up during a movie they haven't seen and not wanting me to pause it...actually a weird pet peeve of mine.


	44. Are You Sure You Want To Do This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just sitting over here typing away while my sister crafts...on our weekly sister's night...we've turned into old ladies...really it's to distract us...and to help everyone else with their anxiety, here's a lovely update...especially since I don't think I'll have time to write tomorrow :(

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Hamish woke a few hours later to Vera shaking against him. Blinking tired eyes, he looked down at her still resting against him. Seeing no trace of a nightmare on her face he took in more of his surroundings and realized the blanket had fallen from her shoulders and she was shivering from the cold.

Deciding both their necks would be more grateful if they were in bed, he tried to very carefully shift her off of him so he could stand and pick her up. He heard her grumble in her sleep as he stood and froze for a minute before her deep steady breathing resumed. He got that same disgruntled noise when he picked her up before she gave a happy sigh as she snuggled back into his warmth.

When he tried to set her onto the bed and pull back, he heard the different tone in her protest and knew she was waking up. He stayed as still as he could hoping she’d stay asleep, but without his warmth to lull her back to full unconsciousness her tired eyes blinked up at him slowly in confusion.

“We fell asleep watching the movie. We have a few hours left though, go back to sleep.” God she was adorable when she was too tired to make sense of things. She didn’t release her grip on his shirt as she continued to look up with that sleepy confused face.

“I moved you from the couch, your neck would have hated you in the morning if you stayed in that position all night.” She either understood or didn’t care anymore as she let her eyes drift shut again. He went to gently pry her hand off his shirt so he could go to his room, but her eyes blinked opened again. They were still tired, but now they were laden with mild irritation as well.

“Vera, I need you to let go of my shirt.” He gave a soft chuckle as the confusion came back. And then he felt the gentle tug on his shirt. “Do you want me to stay?” Her grip remained, but her eyes closed, and she shifted backwards on the bed slightly. With no clear response, he waited for a few seconds and felt her grip weaken as her breathing deepened and attempted once more to step back.

Her grip tightened yet again and though her eyes remained closed her brow furrowed slightly in irritation and released a drowsy huff. He smiled at how different awake Vera and tired Vera were as he crawled in beside her. She quickly snuggled into him and pressed her nose into his chest breathing deeply before sighing happily. In less than thirty seconds she was out again, his shirt still loosely held in her grip between them.

She was so distant during the day to everyone, so standoffish that no one would suspect that she was a clinger when she was tired. He loved her even more for feeling safe enough to show _him._ Pulling her further into his chest he dropped a kiss to the top of her head and allowed her to guide him back to his dreams.

Vera jolted awake as she heard the foreign alarm going off. She quickly realized she was in her bed but didn’t understand how she got there. Last she remembered she was on the couch watching a movie. She felt the hand skimming through her hair and tilted her head up from where it was tucked into his chest and saw Hamish barely half-awake smiling down at her.

“Good morning.” He greeted softly as he continued playing with her hair and god, did she want this every day.

“What time is it?” She didn’t want to move. All she wanted was to pull herself closer to him and go back to sleep. This was the first night in weeks she’d been able to sleep so soundly but it still wasn’t enough.

“Just after six. I wasn’t sure when you wanted to get up but figured two hours should be enough time to pack, shower and eat. I picked up some eggs and cheese yesterday. I’ll start cooking whenever you’re ready. There’s no rush.” She knew that statement applied to more than just breakfast and couldn’t stop the small grateful smile as she tucked her head back into his chest.

She justified staying in his comforting embrace for a few more minutes with the knowledge that she wouldn’t be able to do this for the foreseeable future. Ideally, this would be the last time she allowed herself to be weak and risk hurting him more, but that thought put a pained frown on her face.

She couldn’t think about never getting to do this again. It was too painful, better to just focus on the immediate future. She could let him hold her again when they finished in the Black Forest. She would allow her future self to deal with the pain of knowing she couldn’t allow this to continue.

He felt her give a heavy sigh against him maybe ten minutes later but didn’t cease his movements as she looked back at him. “We should probably get up. When I was out yesterday, I grabbed a few hiking things for you. Just a pair of boots and some clothes.” She added when he looked at her with a huge smile.

He brought his hand from her hair and cupped the back of her head, carefully forcing her up so he could meet her lips in a sweet kiss. She couldn’t stop the quiet hum that went through her as she returned the brief kiss.

“Thank you Vera.” She felt her face heat up slightly under his intense gaze and just nodded. “What do you think, breakfast first?” He asked as he felt her stomach rumble almost inaudibly and she shot him a glare over his teasing. Pushing herself up she started out of the room, him trailing behind her.

He stopped when they hit the kitchen and watched her walk the rest of the way to the bathroom, clearly still exhausted. He put on the coffee first so it would hopefully be finished by the time she was done before he set to work on pulling out the eggs, cheese, butter and bread. The bathroom door opening as he was getting ready to crack the first egg surprised him.

Looking up at her he saw her makeup free face and realized why she had been so quick. No point in dealing with makeup when you’ll be hiking through the woods all day. She walked over to the coffee pot, paused it and poured herself a glass before restarting it.

He excused himself quickly to use the restroom as nothing was cooking yet. Once his teeth were brushed, he headed back for the kitchen where he stopped short at the image of Vera in a baggy sweater cooking in front of the stove.

It made since that she cooked, he’d seen her fridge that first night, but there was something about actually seeing Vera doing something so domestic. He found himself wrapping both arms around her from behind before he’d noticed he’d even taken a step. She tensed briefly before a hum of approval vibrated through her.

She felt his arms pull her in tighter as he began kissing the skin of her exposed shoulder. As the pleasure coursed through her she tried to concentrate on the eggs but found herself dropping her head back and to the side, giving him more access. Through mostly closed eyes she watched as his hand reached out and turned off the stovetop before pulling the spatula from her loose hold.

She should put a stop to this. Not just because they had somewhere to be, but because she knew this shouldn’t happen. She opened her mouth to form an argument just as he brought his hand under her shirt to cup her bare breast and focused on _that_ spot on her neck. The deep moan escaped her parted lips along with all thoughts of stopping.

One of her hands came up to rest on top of the counter beside the stove while the other threaded through his hair. She arched into his hand as he applied more pressure and felt his other hand drift lower into the front of her pants.

Her eyes snapped open when all action on his end stopped and a disgruntled moan escaped her mouth. Her mewl of disappointment came out choked when she tried to stifle it as she felt his mouth leave her neck despite her attempt to try to keep him there.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” She almost laughed at the ridiculous question but when she felt his hand slowly retracting from her pants, she realized he was being serious. The hand on the counter quickly left it to stop his hand from retreating further and she tried to force herself to answer him.

She growled in frustration when no words came. Instead she nodded her head and guided his hand back to her center and just held it as he started to move slowly. When his mouth fell back to her neck and his teeth dragged over her corded muscles before biting just hard enough to bruise but not break skin a shiver swept through her body and pulled a graveled _fuck_ from her.

He spun her around at the curse and claimed her mouth in a frenzied kiss as he turned and pressed her into the counter. His hands quickly lifted her up onto the counter and stepped between her thighs, pulling her tight against him, eliciting pleasured gasps from them both at the friction.

She dropped her hands to his lower back and trailed her nails up the sculpted muscles as she pulled his shirt off. Hamish not wanting to be parted from her lips any longer than he had to, yanked her shirt off at the same time. Both sighed in pleasure as their naked torsos met before lips connected again.

Hamish brought his hand up to her hair and pulled gently to guide her backwards. She fought him at first, not wanting to leave his lips but as he began trailing kisses across her jaw she sank back against the counter.

Vera’s legs came up behind him and pulled him further into her as she arched her chest into his mouth. His hardness pressing into her and the vibration that traveled through her breast at his pleasured moan had Vera reaching towards him to try and rid him of his pants. Her irritation over not being able to reach was evident as she started to squirm beneath his ministrations.

“Need you.” She panted as she dug her nails into his side. Her head arched back, and another _fuck_ broke from her when he’d unconsciously slammed into her at her plea. Hamish tore his mouth from her chest with immense difficulty and slowly trailed further down her torso.

He hooked his fingers into her pants and panties and brought his kisses towards her right hip, before leaving a bruising bite mark in the hallow of it. Her reaction was instantaneous. Both hands reached above her head to clutch onto the edge of the counter as her hips jerked violently. Hamish took that opportunity to remove both articles of clothing before looking at her laid out before him.

“You’re gorgeous Vera. Absolute stunning perfection.” Her pleasured face lifted, and half lidded eyes met his with a small smile that turned to a throaty gasp as he dropped to lavish at her center. He hooked both of her legs over his shoulder for support and brought one hand to steady her hips while he pushed two fingers into her.

It didn’t take long for her to fall apart under him and he felt himself twitch as his name passed her lips in ecstasy. Not stopping until she had come down, he brought one hand to remove his pants and boxers before making a torturously slow ascent back up her body.

He paused at her other hip and left a matching mark in the hallow, drawing out that same throaty moan the spot on her neck drew. He left little nips that he soothed with his tongue across her stomach, biting softly at the underside of her right breast before her legs tightened behind him.

 _‘Fuck Vera!’_ Her response was almost as primal as his to the curse. She yanked his head up by his hair and forced him to meet her gaze. Her pupils were blown wide as she stared up at him.

“Now.” She demanded and reached between them to guide him towards her center. Her eyes closed as he sank into her matching his gasp with her own. She guided his head towards her as he started moving and kissed him deeply.

Hamish adjusted one of her legs to pull it higher up his hip as he picked up speed. Their foreheads remained pressed together, gazes locked as he rocked into her, drawing their pleasured sounds to fill the room. He felt her tightening around him and heard her muffled whimper. He dropped his lips heavily to hers to stop the words on the tip of his tongue as he followed her over.

He continued to kiss her thoroughly until his control was back and didn’t fear the _‘I love you_ ’ escaping in a blissful confession. Instead as he pulled back to looked down at her satiated face he smiled softly and told her she was beautiful before kissing her again.

She returned the kiss and allowed her love to slip into it, saying everything she couldn’t. As he pulled away and slowly slipped out of her she felt the loss in her heart. Unwilling to let him see, she slid off the counter with his help and gave him a soft kiss.

She pulled back and looked at the clock on the stove only for her eyes to widen in alarm. It was much later than she thought. He followed her look of shock and cringed slightly.

“I’ll finish cooking breakfast while you shower.” He chuckled slightly as a barely there pout skittered across her face. “We both know that if I join you in there, we’ll get distracted. We need to eat and finish packing. Go.”

“Fine.” It was that annoyed, ' _yes, I know you’re right even if I’m not happy about it'_ , tone. He watched as she walked towards the bathroom not bothering to cover up. She turned with a smirk and raised brow as she walked over the bathroom threshold, making it clear she knew he was watching. Even still he couldn’t stop his hungry gaze from roving over her with a smirk of his own.

He watched as she flushed before closing the door to break them both of their trance before they showed up late. Hamish took a couple deep breaths to temper his growing arousal before pulling his boxers on and finishing their breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...not much plot advancement on this one...but I don't think anyone will mind too much.


	45. Vera Receives A Gentle Shove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I had SIX hours of meetings today (and kept 30 minutes after my shift) and almost lost my shit (my supervisor is the absolute worst and I cannot wait until she retires in July and my coworker becomes my supervisor!). But mostly, to keep my cool during my weekly game night (which started an hour ago lol), I had to write...and now I'm feeling much better...and surprisingly, this didn't turn angsty.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Breakfast was eaten quickly once Vera finished her shower and Hamish, having already mostly packed, jumped in himself to quickly shower. He grabbed his toiletries on his way out and found Vera in the living room putting a few items in her bag.

She looked up and smirked at the image he presented with the towel hung low on his hips. Her tongue unconsciously coming out to wet her lips when a stray water droplet traveled down below the towel line.

He wasn’t doing much better though. She had her hair pulled up in a ponytail and was in skintight hiking clothes. The boots tied on her feet completed the look and he found himself stiffening at the site. She seemed to have recovered first as he watched her shake her head and hold out a bag for him.

“We don’t have time, get dressed.” Once he’d taken the bag from her, she walked towards the bathroom to grab her own toiletries and he made his way to his bedroom. The clothes she had gotten him were tighter than he was used to, but the compression on his arms and the soft canvass feel of the pants were remarkably comfortable.

He was pleasantly surprised when the hiking boots she’d bought fit perfectly. He really didn’t want to hike for possibly months in his dress shoes. Tossing the other changes of clothes in his bag with his toiletries he did one last look around the room to ensure he hadn’t missed anything before meeting back up with her in the living room.

She looked him up and down once and he knew she liked what she saw. It really was probably a good thing Emile and Fynn were coming to keep them focused on the task at hand. He was pretty sure if they weren’t joining them, they wouldn’t leave their room for at _least_ another few hours.

She tore her gaze from him and hoisted her bag up to complete the hiking image. “Stop looking at me like that!” He startled at her command and realized he’d taken several steps closer to her. Her breath was coming quickly, and he could see the aroused flush spreading across her neck and face as her eyes traveled hungrily down his frame again.

“I’ll stop when you stop.” His tone was seductive as he stepped up and captured her lips in a heated kiss that she returned. She growled into his lips as she pushed back and held him away from her trying to catch her breath.

“We need to leave.” She’s not sure if sleeping together this morning was a good thing or not. On the one hand they didn’t have _that_ arousal built onto the one right now. But on the other hand, the thought of what they had been doing so recently sent a flush through her.

He mostly managed to bite back his groan as he stepped back and watched her eyes shut and her teeth drag over her lip. “After you.” It took every ounce of self-control on both their parts to walk out of the room and to the car.

Both packs were tossed in the trunk and she drove the short distance to the Temple. Hamish made to grab the bags knowing there was other stuff to bring but Vera waved him off explaining they would organize it out here.

They walked in and passed a few disciples who did a double take at Vera and Hamish just barely bit back the growl as some of the guys hungrily looked her up and down. He could see her tense just briefly but continued walking as if their gazes didn’t faze her. She probably hadn’t expected students to be here when she’d dressed.

Holger met them in his office and the three of them made their way back towards the old vault. Emily was talking excitedly to Fynn who looked much like Vera did when she hadn’t gotten her morning coffee. She briefly wondered if it was a werewolf thing to be so awake in the morning or if it was just a coincidence.

Fynn saw them first and Hamish had to clench his fists to keep the neutral look on his face as his eyes widened and took Vera in. He almost immediately flushed and looked to his sister pointing behind her. She turned and her eyes grew wide as well.

“Wow! You look amazing!” Hamish watched as Vera shifted subtly under the compliment, but he really had to agree with Emile. Despite the two wearing similar outfits, Vera just presented that goddess visage that demanded people’s attention.

“Thank you, shall we.” She was definitely uncomfortable with the attention given towards her, she even flushed when he gave her a compliment outside of sex. Though he felt a swell of affection at the thought that when he did compliment her while they were sleeping together, she seemed to accept it, even enjoy it.

Emile seemed unworried by her outburst and turned to stand next to her brother at the table. The other three walked up and Vera stood across from Emile before explaining they were going to break their enchantments placed the other night. Everyone but Holger understood why she’d said it, Emile had time to brace herself and keep control over the wolf inside.

They still saw her smiling face become forced as they slowly unlayered their magic, but Vera and Hamish were happy to see she’d kept control throughout the entire process. Vera indicated they each grab a ring, but Holger stopped her before she reached in causing her to look up at him in questions.

“I did some more reading and I think that if you use one of these you may not be able to bond with the master ring. I’m not positive, but it seems to hint that the master ring will reject a person that tries. I still think you should take one with you, but only put it on if you find yourself in a life or death situation.” Vera tensed slightly at the news.

She would be completely without magic until they found the master ring and escaped the forest. She nodded in understanding before grabbing one of the remaining five rings and slipped the chain around her head like the others had done.

“Unless absolutely necessary.” Hamish was both concerned and hopeful. He briefly hoped they were put in a position where she had to use the ring so she wouldn’t try to claim the master ring. But he also knew that if she did have to use it, she would still try to get the master ring, risking her life first before anyone else’s.

“We’ll protect our Grand Magus.” Vera was slightly surprised to hear those words come from Emile instead of Hamish. She could see his hand twitching near hers where it was hidden from the desk and knew he was holding back his verbal agreement, instead offering a determined nod to Holger.

Vera and Holger both offered small smiles to the three before Vera instructed Holger and Hamish to reenact the enchantments again. As long as Holger was present, he would be able to break the enchantments when the others arrived.

“Here’s the gear, I know you know how to hunt so I kept the food to non-perishables that can be duplicated to save weight and space.” Vera saw Hamish look up abruptly at that bit of information and had to fight the grimace threatening to escape. She didn’t actually enjoy hunting; it was just a skill her father forced her to learn when she was younger.

She also didn’t think it was going to be a skill she needed to use on the trip thankfully as two wolves would be able to do the hunting. She wasn’t going to tell Holger that, however. When her eyes took in just the two tents on two of the four bags she looked up with a raised brow.

“I can pull out another, but all we have are four person tents and with the cooking dishes and sleeping gear I was trying to limit what you had to carry. You can have your own tent or possibly share with Ms. Brandt?” Vera could see the humor in the back of his eyes telling her that if she chose to share with any of them, he didn’t think it’d be Ms. Brandt.

She refused to acknowledge Hamish’s presence or give a verbal response to Holger. She just raised her brow and glared at him before nodding so he knew she was aware of what he was trying to do. The two bags without the tents contained the cooking dishes and two small camp stoves just incase the rings didn't give them access to magic like they were hoping. Each bag had its own sleeping bad, small inflatable sleeping mat and pillow.

All of them had food items and some other necessities within but left enough room in each for their personal items. Vera nodded before indicating the three to take a bag and turned to Holger.

“This looks good, thank you Holger. If we don’t hit traffic, we should be there by eleven. Mr. Duke brought up a good point that our phones may not work once we enter. We’ll test it once we arrive, I’ll update you either way. And as time is of the essence, I’ll leave you in charge of updating the Council of the news and fielding their calls if they don’t work.”

He gave a slight glare at her humor for that remark and she let out a small laugh with him. She was actually hoping their phones wouldn’t work just so she could have some much needed relief from Kepler! She turned to see Hamish holding out the fourth pack in his hand as they waited for her and offered a nod in thanks.

“I’ll deal with Council and hold things down here. Hopefully we can find nine sacrifices and Ishtar continues to stay quiet until you all return. Just, please be safe.” Vera forced the smile on her face as she turned and led the three out of the vault. The whispers as they walked through the Temple were almost deafening, but she kept the fake confident smile on her face.

She was grateful when Holger pulled the other disciple’s attention as they left the room. He would be able to reassure his students and ease their fears. The four of them had greater things to concern themselves with at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not much happened...but Holger gave Vera a gentle shove...now to see if Vera accepts it or not...


	46. Possessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting yesterday/earlier today...Lord of the Rings marathon sucked me in completely. Also, apologizing in advance for this chapter...

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Emily could barely contain her excitement as she followed the woman to her car. Fynn noticed and nudged her with his elbow. “Calm down Em, jeeze!”

“We’re getting to travel with the Grand Magus! You’ve heard about her; how can you tell me to calm down?! We’re going to learn so much!” She actually did a little spin in her excitement while Fynn rolled his eyes. From the second Emilie learned about Vera, she had become her hero, and now that she knew about her view on wolves, her respect only grew.

Hamish saw Vera’s movements become a bit jerkier at the girl’s enthusiasm. He knew she didn’t like being placed on a pedestal despite what others seemed to believe. Trying to ease her discomfort he looked over his shoulder at the siblings.

“Have either or you been camping before?” Vera didn’t turn towards him, but he saw the relieved smile she sent his way.

“Mmhmm, our parents used to take us every year before…” She cut off abruptly and he watched the excited smile melt to a deep frown. Fynn reached out and rubbed her back with a small frown.

“They were in a car accident a couple years ago. Em and I haven’t found the time to go since.” Hamish felt terrible erasing the excitement from Emilie’s face and tried desperately to bring the smile back.

“It seems I’m the only virgin then… _camping_ virgin I mean!” His face flushed scarlet as both siblings looked at him wide eyed and Vera started coughing harshly in an attempt to catch her breath. He sent a glare in her direction once she was able to breathe again and tried to muffle her laughter.

Her humor alone would’ve been enough to make his embarrassment bearable, but as the siblings started laughing, he found himself joining in. He even felt Tundra’s rolling laughter at his fumble.

“Do you want me to drive?” He asked and was thankful that the siblings were behind him and couldn’t see the flush spread across both their faces at the innuendo. She swallowed her amused arousal first and shook her head. She preferred the excuse of having to focus on the road instead of conversation when others were in the car.

Both slipped their personal bags into their packs before stepping out of the way for Fynn and Emilie to put their bags in. Vera left the three to fit everything and climbed behind the steering wheel, pulling up the directions on her phone. Hamish climbed in the passenger side as the siblings quietly sat in the back.

“Speak up if you need me to pull over.”

“Yes, Grand Magus.” Vera looked in the mirror and met their gazes before rolling her eyes.

“Call me Vera when we’re outside the Temple.” She didn’t wait for a response as she pulled out of the parking lot and started towards the main road. Hamish however saw Emilie’s eyes widen and the happy smile cross her face as she nudged her brother excitedly. He quietly hit her in the leg telling her to calm down.

Hamish let out a low chuckle at their antics and saw Vera peering at him curiously out of the corner of her eye. He flicked his eyes back towards the siblings before rolling his eyes and she responded with a small smile.

Fynn quickly fell asleep and Emile waited all of thirty minutes before she couldn’t help it anymore. “Hamish?” It was hesitant, like she was worried about breaking the calmness of the car, but he just turned to look at her. “You and Tundra…how did that happen?” He could tell she thought she may be overstepping, but he understood her asking.

He just wished she had asked another time. He heard the slightest shift in Vera’s breathing thanks to Tundra and knew she was focusing on the conversation. He debated answering the girl, but she looked so desperate for answers.

“Things are a little different with the wolves at Belgrave. They called themselves the Knight’s of Saint Christopher and all five hide lockers were kept in an old house in the woods. We call it the Den.” He watched Vera’s hands tightened on the steering wheel and knew she was blaming herself for their lockers being in the hands of Praxis.

“When a champion, someone a hide chooses to bond with, finds a person they believe will fit what an unbonded hide looks for, they’ll give them the option to join. Of course we can’t exactly say what they’re signing up for, but once they learn to control the wolf they enjoy being a knight.”

“Is that how you became a Knight? A previous champion saw attributes in you that they thought Tundra would accept?” He cringed and knew Vera picked up on it. He’d mentioned Cassie in passing, but Vera really didn’t know who she was or how he became a wolf.

“I’m sorry, it’s not my business.” She said quietly as she looked down at her lap. Hamish let out a sigh before turning to face the back more, trying to block Vera from his site in an attempt to get through his explanation.

“No, it’s fine Emilie. Yes and no. I was involved with a knight, though I didn’t know it at the time. She was pulling back and when I finally confronted her about it, she let it slip that she was a werewolf. I joined to be with her.” Hamish cut off abruptly, both at the feelings and hearing Vera struggling a bit to breathe. He looked over and saw the hint of pain on her face.

He would’ve preferred to have this conversation in private. He wanted to make it clear to Vera that though he had loved Cassie, it wasn’t the same as his love for her. He wasn’t trying to replace her. His love for Cassie was that of a first innocent love and it was agony to move past her death. But Vera, his love for Vera was all consuming.

“Is she back at Belgrave? Which wolf is she?” Vera’s head snapped towards his to meet his pained expression. He saw her hand start to lift from the steering wheel before clutching around it again. Instead she tried to comfort him through her gaze. Emilie witnessed the exchange and knew she’d said something wrong.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Hamish tore his gaze from Vera’s and looked back towards the girl forcing a small smile on his face.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know. Her name was Cassie, and she was Champion to Timber. She…seven years ago a rouge group of practitioners killed her.”

 _“I’m sorry.”_ Hamish didn’t blame Tundra for her death, there was nothing he could’ve done even if he had claimed Cassie. She was ambushed alone, and they didn’t have the skills to save her. But now that Tundra was linked with Hamish, he could feel the pain her death had caused his champion.

Cassie’s death was also why Hamish panicked at the thought of Vera using the ring. _“Trust her strength. Trust that she will fight whatever comes against her. We will protect her from everything else.”_

Hamish didn’t hear Emilie talking, so lost in the possibility of loosing Vera like he had Cassie. He wouldn’t survive it. Not this time. He felt her hand land heavily on his knee just as his vision started to blur. He focused on her hand and tried to regulate his breathing. The gentle squeeze had him bringing his eyes up to meet Vera’s concerned gaze.

Taking one last deep calming breath he sent a grateful smile her way and fought the urge to grab her hand as she slowly pulled it away. Turning back towards Emilie he saw the tears in the girl’s eyes at having caused him pain.

“I’m sorry.” He waved her off and instead started talking about the others.

“Timber’s current Champion is a spitfire. Her name’s Lilith and she’s currently giving the demon realm hell.” It hurt to think of Lilith stuck, but knew there’d be no way she wouldn’t be turning heads there. Emilie looked confused so he continued after casting a quick silencing incantation around the car.

“A while back we had another encounter with a demon. Us Knight’s messed up and the result of our mistake cost the weapons we needed to banish the Emperor demon. Didn’t stop Lilith though, she lived up to her nickname _Killith_ and dragged his ass back to his realm.”

“But she stayed there?”

“Not voluntarily…”

“As soon as we find out how to get her back, we will.” He looked back at Vera and smiled along with Tundra.

“I know.” There wasn’t a doubt in either his or Tundra’s mind that she would help them get Lilith back. He didn’t blame her for Lilith being stuck, though he suspected she blamed herself. It was their choices that led to her getting stuck. And he was positive Lilith felt the same.

“Randall is the second oldest Knight, he bonded with Greybeard four years ago now. He stopped a child abduction and restrained the man until till law enforcement showed up. I knew that was Champion material, so I offered him a spot. He’s got a great heart and is fiercely protective of his friends, but he’s also rash and doesn’t think about the consequences. He also thinks he’s hilarious…”

Vera’s unamused laugh brought his focus back to her and he saw the tight features on her face. He wished they would get along. He turned back to see Emilie looking between the two in confusion.

“They don’t get along…”

“He never listens and tries to make everything a joke!” Vera’s response was immediate and annoyed.

“He’s also a bit of an idiot. A lovable idiot most of the time, but he’s very opinionated. He doesn’t exactly like The Order” He looked towards Vera to see she’d gone quiet again.

“I mentioned the other night that the previous Grand Magus was dead set on killing us, but he still wanted to control a wolf. Randall was kidnapped by one of his disciples, a professor at The University and they experimented on him.” He watched as Vera's hands turned white under her grip on the steering wheel. She obviously didn’t know the full story.

“They were trying to create werewolves by triggering aggression changes. They implanted him with a Saevbacch Sigil to increase his rage hoping to get readings from his transformation. But as we’re not lab experiments, we can stop our wolf from coming out once we get control. They didn’t like that.

“They kept sending rejects in trying to get him to turn, until he realized they needed a catalyst. He sent in his assistant, the one that had lured Randall in. The same one they pretended was also being experimented on. With the betrayal and sigil, he couldn’t stop himself from killing her and then the professor. We got the sigil out of him later, but it still messes with him.”

It didn’t excuse his behavior towards Vera, but she understood it a bit more. It wasn’t just because she wiped his memory and stolen their things. He’d been experimented on and forced to kill multiple people.

“I didn’t know any of that was happening.” It was low and pained and Hamish felt bad for telling her about it now, but he had honestly thought Alyssa would have already told her.

“We know that, even Randall. I think it’s just part of why he has such a hard time accepting The Order. Many on the Council are still against us and he worries about the possibility of one of us being taken and experimented on like he was.”

“That won’t happen.” Her tone left no room for argument and both Emilie and Hamish smiled at her.

“And lastly, the whole reason The Order and the Knights joined, our problem child Jack.” This drew a genuine laugh from Vera and Hamish joined in. Emilie found herself smiling despite not understanding their humor.

“I still can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner.”

“I have to agree with you there, he’s _terrible_ at being in a secret society!”

“Yes, well. He gave a convincing speech.” Hamish’s gaze flickered back to Emilie and saw Fynn was starting to wake from their laughter.

“Randall is Jack’s RA, he’d been considering him for a champion from the moment he met him. We didn’t exactly give him a choice at becoming a Knight, but he was also hunting us and entered the den on his own. Silverback chose him. He refused to say the oath or join us and just left.

“Randall covered for him and kept Lilith and myself from killing him, thankfully. But when we found out he was _in_ The Order; it was a whole different story. The only reason it all worked out was because he had started to discover things about our history and that we can wear down bad magic without having to kill anyone sometimes.

“We were content with the alliance, but he eventually wound up swearing the oath. He became our inside man in The Order. His biological dad was also the previous Grand Magus. When he found out Jack was his son, he still tried to sacrifice him. Vera had already formed an alliance with us by then though and together were able to stop him.”

He watched the confusion on Emilie and Fynn’s faces as they looked at each other. “But why didn’t we hear about you guys joining until over four months after you became Grand Magus?” It was an innocent question, even reasonable, but both Vera and Hamish tensed at it. Knowing Vera was still beating herself up over it, he jumped in before she could.

“Like I said, we’d been enemies for a _long_ time. Well before any of us became Champions. The Council wanted us dead. Vera convinced them to spare us, but the condition was our memories get erased. Our wolves seem to make us grow immune to the powder and eventually we were remembering every few hours.”

“A previous disciple went behind my back and restored their memories and they all acted like they were still lost. They joined the beginning of term and it was only later that I discovered their memories had returned, but we were able to form an agreement.”

Fynn looked between the two and tilted his head. “Are they why Invocare was triggered?” Hamish shivered at the memory of how close he’d come to loosing her that day. Foley, the parasite, a death sentence from Council.

“Mostly yes. But Kepler, the head of the Gnostic Council and I rarely see eye to eye. She had a vendetta after this one took her eye…”

“You said no killing…”

“And I thank you for listening. Still, she was bitter they weren’t sentenced to death immediately and was just waiting for an opportunity to strike. I’m sure your Magus has told you of our recent alliance with the Prometheans. They knew Mr. Morton was a werewolf and suspected he killed one of their members and they planned to seek blood atonement.

“They’re a hive mind, I took advantage of that and drank what they use to connect to show them Praxis was the real threat, not us. Council didn’t like that I risked The Order’s secrets and used that as their justification. I’m trying to change their opinions on the wolves, but it goes back centuries. Still, we’re making progress.”

“What if I can’t learn to control my wolf?”

“You will.” Hamish said it so matter of fact that Emilie found herself beaming at him. Vera who happened to look back caught the expression and looked to Hamish to see he was returning it. Her grip on the wheel unconsciously tightened at the stab of pain in her chest.

“You didn’t mention Midnight. Is he not bonded with anyone?”

“Midnight is actually the least picky of the hides, he does what needs to be done without thought of his champion's life. But because of this he spends a lot of time in his hide locker, and when our lockers were stolen, he actually bonded with the leader of Praxis. We’ll get him back though.”

“Hide locker?” Both siblings asked confused.

“We don’t know how they were created, but they bind the hides to this realm. After a Champion dies, they are forced to return to the locker. So the locker that your wolf came out of needs to be kept hidden. If any of us were to die, our wolves would return to the lockers.”

He watched Vera’s hands tighten at the mention of them dying and knew she was remembering Randall’s comments the other night.

“Do you think I could meet Jack and Randall when we’re done?” Hamish smiled widely but looked towards Vera for confirmation.

“I’m sure they would like that. We were discussing the possibility of you transferring to Belgrave to join the other wolves next year. Only if you’d like to of course. Just something to think about.”

The conversation lulled after that, Emilie and Fynn deep in thought with the information and offer. Hamish was content to sit in silence but could sense Vera was tense and he felt his hand twitching in his desire to comfort her.

“Wait. That’s all five hides. The other night, you said you thought I was a different wolf. What did you mean by that?” Emilie asked suddenly when they were maybe fifteen minutes away.

“Oh, there was actually a sixth wolf that joined the Knights. She’s been missing for about fifty years now. She goes by the name Alpha and we’re pretty sure she’s Amalia’s wolf, or a combination or Amalia and Josepha’s wolf. The hides creation is still an unknown.”

“How do you know I’m not Alpha if she’s been missing for so long?” She didn’t doubt his words, just didn’t know how he knew.

“Your wolf is tan; Alpha is an auburn wolf with white around the eyes and ears.” He watched Emilie’s eyes grow wide and change to silver and turned towards her more to be ready to defend Vera if need be. “Emilie!” She snapped back in control shaking her head.

Vera looked over at Hamish’s growl and saw the silver eyes before they faded back to blue.

“Sorry…I think I know her…or rather my wolf knows her? I think…I feel like we were family?”

Hamish’s eyes opened wide before the car jerked to a stop. His eyes snapped towards Vera to see her eyes shut and hands white around the steering wheel. He put the hazards on and put the car in park before prying her hands off the wheel and turning her towards him.

“Vera, talk to me. What’s going on?” Her hands tightened in his as she released a shaky gasp. She was clearly in pain. He heard Fynn asking what was happening in the back, but all his focus was on her as the almost silent pained plea of _‘no’_ left her mouth. “If you’re doing this to her, stop!” He snarled to the car, ignoring the panicked faces in the back as his eyes shifted and his canines lengthened.

His head whipped back around to Vera when her grip suddenly loosened and was relieved thinking she had fought Amalie off. When he saw her head turned towards the blond, golden eyes glowing brightly he reached up and forced her head towards him.

“Get. Out!” He threatened forcing her golden eyes to remain on him.

“Emilie, no!” He heard Fynn shout from the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cliffhanger is brutal, I know. Sorry! I am hoping to get the next chapter out after work tomorrow.


	47. A Wolf Revealed And Magic Striped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited! They'll finally be in the woods with this one!

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Hamish heard the growling from the back seat and without looking away from Vera he dragged a claw across his palm and sent a sleep incantation at both of them, not bothering to aim it and powerful enough to hit both.

He saw the gold in Vera’s eyes brighten and forced her head closer to him. “Fight dammit!” He saw her expression flicker from fury to confusion as her eyes started to dim slightly. “Fight her Vera, push her out and come back.” He brought her lips to his roughly, hoping the connection would be enough to bring her back. He felt nothing at first and fear swept through him as he applied more pressure.

“Vera, please!” He desperately pleaded between kisses. He was just about to pull back when he felt her slowly start responding to him. He pulled back just enough to see her blue grey eyes staring back at him in confusion.

“Oh thank god.” He muttered capturing her lips in relieved passion. She kissed him back just as fiercely before remembering where they were and shoved him back. He watched her head turn towards the two in the back and let out a sigh seeing they were both asleep.

Hamish guided her head back towards his and rest his forehead against hers, both hands cradling her head as if afraid to let go. “Are you okay?” He felt her nod against him as she clutched his shirt, and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again. “What happened?”

“She caught me off guard. This wasn’t her trying to torture me with her memories, something about Emilie’s wolf set her off. I’m okay now.” She felt his heartrate slow and leaned forward to kiss him softly in an attempt to prove that she was okay. His grip on her was still tight when she pulled away. “Really Hamish, I’m fine. I promise.”

He nodded and forced his hands away and Vera could see the anguish in his eyes as he pulled back. She knew he’d wear this expression again when she died, and she hated herself for it. Trying to push the suffocating thoughts down, she focused on casting her protection enchantment.

When she had finished, she opened her eyes to see his expression had mostly returned to normal. His hands were still shaking slightly from the adrenaline, but neither in the back would pick up on it. She went to wake them when Hamish grabbed her wrist.

“Emilie was losing control. Whatever Amalie was doing to you had some effect on her wolf.”

“Okay, prepare to cast another sleep incantation just at her if she’s not in control.” When he sliced his hand and held it up, she woke them. They both startled awake, but Hamish and Vera were pleased to see Emilie was in control.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t feel her pushing until it was too late.” Emilie was close to tears again, but Vera waved her off.

“What just happened?! Why were your eyes gold? Are you a wolf too?” Fynn shifted closer attempting to shield his sister from Vera. It was at the mention of the gold eyes that Emilie pushed Fynn out of the way and stared at Vera with wide eyes.

“Amalie? Are you bonded with Amalie?”

“No. I’m not a wolf and I’m not bonded with Amalie. She still around somehow and she’s determined to get into my mind for some reason. I wasn’t ready for her to try it while I was awake, but there was something about your wolf that set her off.”

“It’s her sister.” At the stares she got, she continued. “My wolf, she’s Amalie’s sister. She thought you were trying to hurt her.” Emilie said looking between both of them.

“Charlotte? Well, that explains why she was trying so hard to kill me the other night.” Vera heard the irritation in her voice and knew the others could as well but couldn’t bring herself to care. She was getting just a _little_ irritated with getting blamed for everything The Order had done hundreds of years before she was even born.

“She didn’t order the executions back then and she’s trying to save us now, so leave her alone!” Vera looked up at the fierceness in Hamish’s voice and saw the flicker of silver in his eyes.

“She’s trying to learn how to control her!” Fynn barked thinking Hamish’s anger was with his sister. Vera turned towards him and gave a half smile.

“He’s not talking to your sister. He’s talking to Amalie and Charlotte. Despite you pushing down on your wolf Ms. Brandt, she’s still aware of what’s going on. That’s part of why she was able to push against you so rapidly just now.”

“Amalie’s alive? Did she really do everything the journal says she did?”

“We’ve seen her twice, but only for a few seconds. I think she’s been staying close since my arrival but staying out of sight. She didn’t kill her daughters; I know that much. I also know she hates The Order as much as, if not more than your wolf.”

She heard Hamish growl lowly at the threats as she turned back around and turned off the hazard lights, putting the car back in drive. She could feel him watching her and tried to ignore it until it became too much and sent a glare towards him.

Her unspoken order to _knock it off_ was clear and he huffed before turning to look out the side window. Now that he knew the wolf inside Emilie, he was more concerned about training her so close to Vera. He trusted Tundra to keep her safe during their training, but what if she took over when he wasn’t around? Vera knew she couldn’t use magic if she wanted to be successful in claiming the master ring.

 _“We will talk with Emilie tonight, stress to her the importance of never being alone with Vera until she learns to control Charlotte.”_ Hamish nodded in agreement. He knew Emilie liked Vera and didn’t want to risk hurting her. He’d also have to make sure that Fynn kept an eye out while they trained.

He felt the car come to a stop and looked up to see looming trees that were sure to blot out the sun. He could also feel a pull from the woods. He looked over at Vera to see if she felt it, but she just removed the keys from the ignition as if everything were fine.

“Do you feel it too?” Vera’s head snapped up at the girl’s question and she turned to look over at Hamish who was staring at Emilie. She watched as he nodded before looking back at Fynn and Emilie. Fynn seemed just as confused as she was.

“Care to share with the group?” She internally cringed a bit at the irritation lacing the words, but she hated not understanding something.

“I feel drawn to it almost. It’s not strong or concerning, just a pull.” She looked alarmed and saw Fynn shared her concern.

“I’m going to try to enter first, no arguments.” She interrupted as Hamish turned towards her and opened his mouth. He met her hard stare and huffed slightly before agreeing. They each grabbed their packs and Vera tossed the keys in the truck before magically locking the car.

There was thankfully no other cars on the stretch of road she’d pulled off on but as they approached the line of trees they could feel the magic in the air. Vera raised her hand and felt the tingle as her fingers connected with the barrier. Pushing her hand further she met no resistance.

Looking back towards Hamish and the others she tilted her head and raised her brow as she felt no pain and stepped fully into the barrier. The second she was fully encompassed the pain tore through her.

She could feel her bones being crushed and felt like her skin was being ripped from her body as her insides boiled. It stole the breath she had in an agonized scream as she began to collapse from the pressure.

She felt a force slam into her from behind and arms wrap tightly around her waist as they fell. She landed on top of him breathing deeply as he tried to push himself back up to get her out. Vera pulled back and placed a hand on his chest rising herself up enough to look down into Hamish’s concerned silver eyes.

“I’m okay now.” She assured him subtly stroking her thumb over his chest as she pushed herself up to stand. The second she lost connection she felt that same searing pain begin and stumbled forward again. Hamish caught her before she could hit the ground and the pain immediately ceased.

“It seems a werewolf is needed to both enter and to get through the barrier.” Hamish grabbed Vera’s hand, not wanting to risk losing contact with her back as they walked and was pleased that she allowed it as she took out her phone with her free hand,

Vera saw the _no service_ on the front and looked towards him. “Do you have service?” Quickly pulling his phone out he confirmed his was also reading none. “Do you two have service?” She watched both pull out their phones and nod. She turned back to Hamish and indicated they walk back out of the barrier.

She felt his grip tighten in concern over her crossing again, but they walked back out and felt nothing. Vera watched her phone the entire time and the second she was out she saw her phone connect again. She tilted her head towards Hamish, and he brought his phone up for her to see his had connected as well.

She hesitantly dropped his hand, expecting the pain to come back, but when there was nothing, she turned towards the other two. “It looks like the barrier is going to block any signal from getting to our phones while we’re in there. I suggest making any important calls now if you have any. You each have a portable charger in your packs, you can either take them out and leave them as well as your phone in the car or bring them.”

She turned back to Hamish and met his eyes signaling he do the same. He sighed before dialing Jack’s number and smiled as two very tired voices answered.

 _“Hey, we’re both here. I take it the news isn’t good otherwise you wouldn’t be calling so early?”_ He rolled his eyes at Jack’s question,

“The barrier is blocking the connection. I wanted to update you before we fully entered…”

 _“I don’t like this Hamish. You’ve never even been camping; you shouldn’t be going.”_ Randall was just worried, but his words still irritated him, and he gave a huff of displeasure. He saw Vera glance up slightly before returning to her own call with Holger.

“You don’t need to worry about me, the other three are all experienced campers…”

_“Other three? What other three? Who’s there? Surely you can’t be counting Vera in that, there’s no way she’s a roughing it type.”_

_“Dude, shut up.”_

“You’d be surprised Randall. And it’s two members that will be participating in the ceremony. I trust them.” He saw Emilie beaming at him and sent a smile back towards her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Vera turn her back towards both of them and breathe deeply.

_“There still in The Order…”_

_“So is Gabrielle. Just because someone is in The Order doesn’t make them bad people. If Hamish trusts them, then we should trust him.”_

“Thanks Jack.” He saw Vera hang up and knew it was time to say goodbye. “Look, we’re getting ready to head in again, so I have to go. Promise that you’ll listen to the acting Temple Magus and _try_ not to irritate Kepler until we’re back, okay? Anything that needs to get to us, have the Magus call the German Temple and he’ll tell us when we get out. Otherwise I’ll call once we’re out okay?”

_“Be safe, both of you.”_

He heard Randall start to say something, but Jack quickly ended the call anticipating some stupid remark most likely. He looked up and saw Vera tucking her phone back in the side pocket of her pack.

“Are we ready?” He didn’t like that she wasn’t looking at him but stepped up beside her and held out his hand. “Make sure to keep contact until I say otherwise.” She said over her shoulder and allowed her hand to slip into his.

He watched her eyes close briefly at the contact, before they opened and she started towards the barrier again. He felt her grip tighten just as they crossed into it and pulled her a little closer to him. Once they were fully inside the barrier a few steps they turned to signal for the others to follow.

Fynn kept his eyes closed tight as they walked in but opened them with a smile when nothing happened. They began to walk deeper in the woods, and he noticed Emily looking around in confusion.

“Em? What is it?” Vera and Hamish turned to look at the girl and watched her look towards them.

“I feel like I’ve been here before, done this.” She indicated where she was holding her brother’s hand. “But I know for a fact I’ve never been here. But it’s so familiar somehow.”

“Charlotte must have come here at some point and helped someone cross over. Hints of feelings are a common thing to experience with your wolf.” Hamish explained and the girl nodded in understanding.

They continued for another fifteen minutes before Vera stopped suddenly. Hamish was about to ask what was wrong when he stepped up beside her and felt it. It was similar to the energy drain they experienced at Frankenstein castle, but slightly different.

They still had energy, but it was as if they were suddenly numb. He felt Vera start to pull her hand away and tightened his grip looking down at her.

“I think we’re through, we need to test it.” He looked unconvinced but loosened his hold slowly and let her slide her hand out. The pain didn’t return, but she felt hollow. She’d had magic for seventeen years now and suddenly it was gone. She had the slightly concerning thought that there was a possibility she might actually go through withdrawal like the journal had hinted at.

Trying to banish the thought before it took root, she took a few more hesitant steps forward. Still feeling nothing but the numbness she turned to the other two. “It should be safe to let go now.” She noticed that Hamish stayed within grabbing distance and after the excruciating pain she experienced as she walked through; she wasn’t going to argue with him.

“Can you still feel Tundra?” She looked over at him and saw the silver of his eyes and the elongated canines confirming he could feel the wolf and pull him out. She gave a relieved sigh and instructed they each try to perform a small incantation.

Vera felt nothing, not even the slight tingle that was usually present in all her incantations. She looked and saw it was the same for the others.

“Okay, try your rings. If you feel _anything_ off about them, I want you to remove them immediately.” She watched as all three of them removed the chains from their necks and slipped the rings off before sliding them on. She could see the rings adjusting to fit their fingers and focused on Hamish’s face to see if he noticed anything.

He held his hand out and tried the same incantation as earlier and she watched as the stick was thrown. “How do you feel?”

“I can feel the magic again, but it’s not as strong as it usually is.” She saw Fynn and Emilie nodding in agreement.

“Okay, keep them on for now. If you start to feel any ill effects, remove them. Let’s go, we’ve got a few hours before we should find a place to set up for the night.”

Vera led the group and listened as the other three talked about the different Temples, and benefits of being a wolf. She knew she could’ve joined in but had no real desire to. Especially as she started to feel the headache growing the longer they walked.

She turned slightly to see if the others were experiencing any ill effects, but they seemed fine, excited even. It just confirmed her original thought. Having her magic stripped from her so suddenly after so many years was wreaking havoc on her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we finally know who Emilie's wolf is! And Vera got payback on Holger having to deal with Council. Amalie took full control of Vera for a bit there, which is a bit concerning as she doesn't have magic to protect herself anymore...and she's definitely having some issues right now being stripped from her magic.


	48. Withdrawal Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome! And we're officially past 100k words!!

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

She tried to hide it, hoping to make it until they picked a place to camp, but the headache had surpassed migraine level in their third hour. From there the nausea started and pushing the fifth hour her vision began to blur slightly. Still she refused to show weakness or concern the others and tried to ignore the effects despite the pins and needles feeling that was starting to crawl through her.

She felt herself trip over a root and likely would’ve fallen had a hand not shot out and grabbed her arm. Closing her eyes tightly against the wave of nausea the motion drew she felt Hamish grasp her upper arms to steady her.

“Vera? What’s going on?” He had watched as her pace slowed over the last hour and her steps become more and more unstable. It wasn’t enough for the others to notice; they didn’t know her well enough. He had stepped a little closer to her as he continued the conversation with the others and watched as she tripped and started falling.

He had been able to grab her before she could get far enough and turned her towards him to see her eyes tight and her face ghostly white with sweat covering her forehead. He knew it wasn’t Amalie this time, she looked sick. Really sick.

He brought one hand up to the side of her face and neck and could feel the clamminess of her skin coat his palm. He watched her hand reach out shakily to rest on his upper arm before her unfocused eyes opened and he saw the pain in them.

“I’ll be fine.” Her hand tightened on his arm as another wave of nausea swept through her with a violent spasm. She opened her eyes again to see his face was swimming before her. “Shit.” She whispered as darkness started to creep around the edges of her vision.

She tried to force her eyes to clear and focus on his in an effort to calm the panic she could see. “It’s fine, I promise. I just…I need to res…” Was all she could get out before she collapsed against him.

“Vera? Vera!” The other two ran up on either side of him to see their Grand Magus passed out in Hamish’s arms, her face beyond pale and covered in moisture. Fynn looked up at Hamish as he tried to wake Vera and could see the fear in his face.

“Hamish!” He took a step back as the man’s silver eyes snapped towards him and he pulled Vera’s limp form closer to him. Fynn held both his hands up and signaled Emilie to back up. “She seemed to know something was wrong and that she would be fine after she was able to rest. We need to get her warm and set up camp, there’s no point moving any further tonight.”

Hamish’s eyes returned to blue and he nodded but didn’t release his hold on the unconscious woman in his arms. He used his free hand to unclip her pack and slid it off her shoulders before handing it to Fynn so he could start setting up the tent. Once his own pack was off, he looked towards Emilie.

“Open the sleeping bag so we can lay her down while we set up.” She quickly did as he instructed while he lifted Vera fully into his arms. He pulled her closer to him as her shaking increased and dropped his head to whisper to her. “Come on Vera, whatever this is you need to fight it okay?”

Once Emilie stepped away, he saw she had kept the sleeping bag zipped together to offer more padding before she pulled out the bag she was carrying and laid it down on top and opened it.

Hamish thanked her as he carefully set Vera’s shaking form between the covers and zipped them. He reached for his bag and pulled out the pillow before allowing it to inflate and tucking it under her head. He heard Emile jog away and looked up to see she had started to collect wood for a fire.

It took everything he had to leave Vera’s side to start helping, knowing they needed to get her warm. Tundra’s attention was zeroed in on Vera as he worked so he was able to hear her pained whimper and snapped his attention to her.

Fynn was crouched beside her where he was building a small firepit and turned towards her at the noise. He leaned closer when her mouth moved and just barely heard the name whispered. He looked up to call Hamish over, but the man was already dropping down beside her.

He watched as Hamish brushed the damp strands from her forehead before bringing his hands to rest on the sides of her face. The healing incantation was nothing new to Fynn, but he cringed when he heard it.

“It’s not going to work. I think she’s going through withdrawal from her magic being stripped. She’s had it way longer then any of us and can’t retain it through a ring like we can.”

“She showed me a way to link magic while connected, could that work?” He didn’t remove his eyes from Vera’s pain filled face.

“We could try, but I worry it may have an adverse reaction if she tries to get the master ring after. I think this whole thing is some sort of test, maybe this is part of it.” Fynn looked at the tortured face of the man in front of him and realized the bond between the two was deeper than he had first thought. At least on Hamish’s side, he hadn’t really been able to learn much about Vera yet. Still it gave him hope for his sister.

“Then what do we do to help her now?” Hamish wished he knew what Vera had done to link his pain to her. Her shaking grew worse as the wind picked up and a breeze swept through their camp. It wasn’t a cold breeze for him, but she turned her back to it and curled in on herself.

“Get her inside the tent and keep her warm. Hopefully she wakes up in a few hours to eat and drink, if not we’re going to have to try to force her awake. Em and I will finish setting everything up and get the fire going. Keep an eye on her and holler if she gets worse.”

Hamish nodded, grateful for the privacy that would come from being in the tent. He lifted her and both sleeping bags up and carried her towards the small tent, thanking Fynn when he opened it. Once he carefully laid her down on the mat Fynn had set up for her he turned back and grabbed the bags Fynn was holding out.

“It would be a good idea to get her into something less constrictive and a bit warmer…if she has anything and if you’re comfortable with it…” Hamish took in his concerned look as his eyes flicked to Vera. “I’m pre-med but I don’t think she’d be comfortable if she knew I had changed her clothes. She knows you better.”

“I’ll take care of it. Thank you Fynn.” The other man nodded and zipped the tent shut behind him, leaving Hamish alone with Vera. He heard his name again as a silent plea and dropped down beside her again.

“I’m here Vera, I’ve got you.” She seemed to calm slightly, and he pulled her bag closer to look for some pajamas. He found a sweater and yoga pants and pulled them out before carefully sliding the sleeping bag under the one she was in out from under her so he could zip them together and have more room to change her clothes.

Her shivering increased as he stripped her shirt causing him to apologize softly as he supported her from behind before pulling the sweater over her head. Her pants were a little more difficult, but after a bit of struggling he had her changed and back under the covers.

Sliding in beside her he pulled her into his chest and held her tightly till her shaking subsided to tremors every few minutes. Hamish gently pulled the tie from her hair and threaded his fingers through the long damp locks and kissed her forehead.

“Please Vera, you need to fight this. I can’t do this without you.”

_“She’s strong Hamish, she promised she’d be okay. Trust her.”_

_‘She’s also stubborn and self-sacrificing.’_ Tundra shifted as he felt the fear of his champion.

_“She made you a promise Hamish, she won’t break it.”_

_‘I can’t lose her Tundra.’_ His grip tightened further, and he buried his face in her neck as he tried to stop himself from losing control at the thought. He heard her quiet hum as she unconsciously pushed herself further against him and he let out a choked sigh of relief. She knew he was with her at least.

 _“We won’t.”_ Tundra focused on calming his champion while keeping an ear out for any possible threats. He felt Hamish begin to drift off beside Vera and forced himself to remain conscious to protect the two. He heard her quietly calling his champion’s name hours later and prodded at Hamish to wake up.

Hamish felt Tundra prodding at him and was immediately alert. He heard Vera whisper his name and the almost non-existent pressure at his arm that told her she was awake. Pulling back, he looked at her pinched face and knew she was still in pain but was more alert.

“Vera, thank god you’re awake.” He couldn’t stop the quick kiss to her lips but pulled back before he could hurt her. “How are you feeling?” He brought his hand back up to thread through her hair and saw her close her eyes at the contact.

“Mmm, that helps. I’m thirsty.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead before slowly pulling back.

“I’m going to get you something to eat and drink, stay here.” He could feel her try to hold him to her, but her grip was still weak. “I’ll be right back, I promise. Just stay awake.” Squeezing her hand gently he climbed out of the bag and unzipped the tent, shutting it quickly behind him to stop the cool air that had fallen on their camp.

Emily and Fynn were sitting beside the fire and looked up as soon as he walked out. Emily jumped up and approached him in concern.

“Is she okay?” Her eyes looked around him to the tent as she brought both hands in front of her.

“She just woke up. She’s still in rough shape, but her shakes and fever seem to be subsiding. She’s thirsty and I wanted to try to get her to eat something while she’s awake.” Fynn had already started pulling some things together as he started talking.

“Here, make sure she drinks all of this. We also made some soup; it isn’t much but it’s the best we had that would help. We also didn’t want to wander too far to hunt incase the forest tries to separate us.” Hamish hadn’t even thought of that, but it made sense.

“I’m sure she’ll be grateful, thank you.” They sat back beside the fire and he finally noticed they were playing a card game to pass the time. Careful not to spill anything he unzipped the tent and walked in, shutting it behind him.

“Are they okay?” He turned towards her at the question and saw her even more alert but still looking miserable. He tilted his head in confusion as he approached and sat down beside her setting both liquids beside him.

“Vera, they’re fine. They’re not the ones going through withdrawal right now, you are. They are worried about you though. Did you know Fynn is pre-med? He knew exactly what was happening and what to do. Come on, you need to eat.” He watched as she tried to force herself to sit up through another tremor, but her muscles were too weak.

He carefully lifted her and slid under her, so she was sitting in his lap and her back was resting against his chest. Even though he did most of the work her breathing was labored, and he held her still long enough for it to return to normal again and the spasms to lesson.

He brought the water up first and supported it in her shaky grip as she slowly drank it. She tilted her head back against him as she breathed, trying to ease the pain in her head and joints. She smelled the soup as he brought it up and felt her stomach growl despite the nausea she felt. The closer the spoon came the worse she felt causing her to turn her head away from the spoon he was holding.

“Vera, you have to eat.” She felt his huff of frustration when she turned away from it again and grit her teeth.

“I don’t want it.” She could feel the growl before she heard it and sighed. “The smell is making me sick Hamish.” She whispered weakly and dropped her head back against his shoulder again trying to breathe through the nausea.

“Is there an incantation that will change the smell?” She focused on the question and nodded slightly before attempting to perform it. When nothing happened, she remembered why she was feeling so shitty and sighed. She was thankful Hamish had paid attention to her though, because a second later the odor was gone.

“Thank you.” She whispered before allowing him to feed her the first few bites. Removing the smell also removed the taste which was probably for the best with how queasy she was at the moment. After a few more bites she pushed his hand away and turned so she could cuddle into his chest and burrow her face into his neck.

Hamish finished the flavorless soup before casting a cleaning incantation and shifting under the covers again. Careful not to wake her as he tightened his hold on her.

He stayed awake for the next half hour just listening to her deep breathing and holding her through the quakes that coursed through her every few minutes now. Both were much better than when they’d first entered the tent thankfully. His hand never stopped in its soothing motions through her hair, attempting to ease her headache.

He heard when Fynn and Emilie started to cast protection incantations around the campsite and threw one up around his and Vera’s tent. They turned in shortly after that, dousing the fire before they did so by the smell. He was still wary of going to bed though, what if she took a turn for the worse?

 _“Rest Hamish, I’ll wake you if anything happens.”_ With Tundra’s promise Hamish thanked the wolf and allowed Vera’s breathing to pull him under with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, this chapter and the next...so adorable, despite Vera being in danger territory. Hamish taking care of Vera is everything <3 She's definitely not out of the woods yet.


	49. Withdrawal Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for working at a job that has every holiday off! I just love Hamish taking care of sick Vera so...here's another chapter of it.

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Vera woke to her body feeling like she’d been hit by a train. Every muscle ached and her head was pounding. She could feel the dampness of her sweater telling her she was sweating, but she felt like she was in a freezer.

She felt the heat at her back and went to turn towards it in an attempt to warm her frigid skin. Just as she got onto her back, she knew she was about to get sick. Gasping at the pain that came with forcing herself up she felt the acidic burn in the back of her throat just before she started heaving.

She felt Hamish sit up behind her and pull her hair back from her face as she continued gagging through choked pants. His whispered words as he rubbed her back were nonsense to her ears, but they helped to ground her.

When the rolling in her stomach calmed she collapsed back against his chest breathing deeply through her shaking form. She nuzzled deeper into him when his arms wrapped around her bringing the sleeping bag tight around her.

“Shh, you’re going to be okay.” He whispered against her neck as he held her upright. When Tundra woke him and his eyes focused on Vera puking before him he almost called out to Fynn in a panic. It was only thinking about Vera’s unwillingness to appear weak in front of others that had stopped him.

He cleaned the mess once she slumped against him and brought the blanket around her body and just held her upright against him. He’d had enough hangovers to know that sitting upright was best when it came to nausea. Her shaking had gotten worse with the fit and he tightened his grip in fear.

He continued to hold her upright after she fell back to sleep, continuing to whisper that she’d be okay. Tundra heard the others first and drew his attention to their whispering.

“Is she going to be okay?” He could hear the fear in Emilie’s voice and only Tundra reminding him of Vera’s promise was able to keep his panic from growing.

“She’s strong Em, you’ve heard the stories. The fact that she’s getting sick now may mean she’s peaking. If so that’s good news. She’ll be tired and sore for another day or two, but she’ll be able to keep food and liquids down and will be back to normal in no time.”

“But what if she gets worse?” Hamish was listening intently to the conversation now and didn’t feel Vera stirring in his arms.

“Hamish will let us know if it’s really bad, and if so then we put on her ring. I don’t think it’ll come to that though, you heard her. She knew what was happening and promised she’d be okay. From what we know about her, she won’t back down from a promise. She also knows how much we need her Em, she’s going to fight.”

Hamish let out a heavy relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on Vera. Hearing the other man’s confident words helped ease his worry immensely. He felt Vera’s head tilt slightly and pulled back to look down at her.

“Cold.” It was barely a whisper, but Hamish heard it thanks to Tundra. He then felt the dampness of her sweater and realized it was leaching what little warmth she had. Reaching back with one hand he grabbed her bag and felt around for another shirt without any luck.

Giving up he grabbed for his own bag and pulled out one of his sleep shirts. Vera grumbled as he pushed her away from him enough to pull her wet sweater off and remove her bra before he slipped his shirt over her head.

Once she was in a dry shirt he searched for a spare pair of pants in her bag and thankfully was able to find a pair of sweats. He heard her plead for him to ‘ _stop, it’s cold’_ as he stripped her pants and the tremors increased.

Apologizing, he reached around her and guided one leg at a time through her pants before working them all the way up. Once she was resettled in his lap, he tightened the sleeping bag around them again and started to rub her arms to warm them up.

“Thirsty.” Hamish nodded and reached for the still half full bottle of water and carefully brought it up to her mouth so she could take small sips. When she turned into him more, he set the water bottle down and wrapped both arms around her again. “Sorry.”

Hamish froze at the whisper and had to stomp out the angered response. “Don’t. Vera, you have nothing to apologize for. Just worry about getting through this okay?” He felt the subtle nod on his collar bone and pulled her in tighter dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

He stayed awake long after she fell asleep again. Sitting up did seem to help her and staying awake to support her was nothing compared to what she was going through. He listened to the sounds of the forest as he held her, her breathing growing deeper and steadier as the shaking subsided.

She had been tremor free for a half hour when he heard Emilie starting a make a fire. Heard her as she quietly started to cook. He listened as her steps came closer to the tent and he tightened his hold on Vera again.

“Hamish?” She whispered low enough only a wolf would be able to hear. “Can I come in? I have some soup, water and some Tylenol, though I don’t know if it’ll do any good.” He debated what to do. He knew Vera would not want the others to see her like this, especially in his arms. He also knew the girl wouldn’t judge her or say anything, even to her brother.

“Quietly.” Emilie’s concerned face poked through and she quietly made her way into the tent, zipping it behind her. She took in the image before her and Hamish saw no judgement on her face at the site of Vera curled up in his arms.

“How’s she doing?” She whispered setting the items down beside him.

“She’s fighting it. The shaking stopped about a thirty minutes ago. I think her fever’s broken as well finally. She’s going to pull through Emilie, she’s strong.” He added as he saw the concern in the blue eyes. Emilie shook herself out of her trance slightly and smiled at him.

“Let me know if either of you need anything.” He nodded in confirmation and watched as she quietly left the tent to start cooking for the rest of them. He really hoped she chose to come back with them, both her and her brother would be wonderful additions to their Temple.

It was maybe twenty minutes later that he felt Vera start to stir again and he looked down towards her head. He heard her pained moan and brought a hand up to sift through her hair.

“Emilie brought some Tylenol, it might not help but it’s worth a shot if you think you can take it.” He felt her nod slowly and shifted her so he could place the pills in her hand before bringing the bottle to her mouth. She slowly drank the rest of the water much to his relief and when he picked up the bowl of soup, she didn’t shy away from it.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as she slowly fed herself. She was still weak and obviously in pain, but she was definitely doing much better than last night.

“I feel like I was hit by a truck and have a jackhammer going off in my head.” He brought his hands up and rest his thumbs at the base of her skull behind her ears and his fingers on her temples before applying pressure in gentle circles.

A quiet relieved moan broke through her lips as the pain lessened significantly. “That’s better.” Hamish smiled softly and continued to massage her head as he heard Fynn start walking around and talking quietly with Emilie.

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s doing much better then last night. She’s awake now and Hamish said her fever broke about an hour ago.”

“That’s good. Now she just needs to rest from the toll it took on her. We should stay here another night at least. If she’s feeling better by tomorrow, we could take an easy day, she shouldn’t carry her pack if possible.”

He could tell Vera could hear the other two, but not quite able to make out what they’re saying. He leaned forward and relayed the conversation to her.

“That won’t be necessary, I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own stuff.” While he was happy to hear her stubborn independence was back, he could also hear the irritation and weakness in her tone. He knew Emilie likely heard her refusal as well.

“Vera, it’s one day. Let us help until you’re back to full strength.” He could sense she was going to argue with him further, so he tried a different tack.

“You are the one we need to get to the ring. If you push yourself like you did yesterday, trying to act like you’re fine and pass out again we lose more time. They’re counting on us returning, so if you have to take it easy for one day to make it back faster then so be it.”

“Fine, _one_ day. I mean it!”

“Thank you.” He dropped a kiss to her crown and continued his soothing motions. Vera started to shift against him as if she were uncomfortable. He tried to adjust, but she only huffed. “What?”

“I have to go to the bathroom, but…” As her voice faded off he realized she was more concerned with what the two thought if they saw her.

“Vera, they’re not going to care. They’re both just worried about you.”

“I’m _fine.”_ He dropped his forehead to the top of her head and sighed.

“No, Vera, you’re not. You will be, and they both know that. They won’t think you’re weak if you look a little sick, they know what you’re going through right now.” He could feel her tense the second he disagreed with her, but slowly sank against him.

“Can you at least distract them?” Knowing it was a compromise he nodded and asked if she was ready to stand up. Hamish slowly stood with her and made sure her legs were steady enough to hold her on their own before he opened the tent and stepped out.

He was thankful Emilie had heard the conversation and kept Fynn’s attention away from the tent as Vera stepped out and squinted at the dim light. He zipped the tent behind her and double checked she was okay on her own before walking over to the other two.

“Is she always so stubborn?” Emilie asked quietly as Hamish stepped up beside them and took the proffered plate. He laughed slightly before sitting beside them.

“This was nothing. You should see her when she knows she’s right, there’s no backing down then. It’s the main reason we formed an alliance to begin with. She was dead set against restoring the Vade Maecum and even when the previous Grand Magus sent a disciple to kill her, she was able to convince the disciple to turn against him and form an alliance with her enemy.

“Even when her entire Temple and Council members turned against her, she still demanded us wolves not kill anyone that was actively trying to kill us. She walked into the Temple, after having a death order sent for her, and ordered everyone in it to leave without blinking an eye, with three wolves behind her.”

“Em knows _all_ about her taking on the previous Magus, we just didn’t know the part about her allying herself with wolves. It was mentioned, but no one really believed it.”

“Our Magus has known Vera a long time and when she became Grand Magus he told us about her. All she cares about is protecting those under her. She’s strong, but not power hungry. Strict, but does whatever she can to keep people safe. And she does what needs to be done no matter the cost to herself. She’s incredible.” Hamish smiled widely at Emilie’s astonishment.

Everything she said was true, but so many people back home didn’t see it. He suspected it was mostly due to their hatred of the wolves, but also because she went up against them and they couldn’t forget that. He heard the tent unzipping and turned to see Vera slipping back inside.

“I actually wanted to talk to both of you without her hearing. Emilie I know how much you look up to her, but until we can get you and your wolf on the same page, I think it’s best to avoid you being alone with her.” He saw her frown slightly before nodding.

“Fynn, when I’m working with your sister, I need you to protect her. She can’t know that’s what you’re doing, it’ll already be difficult enough. I was thinking you could ask her to tutor you while we train? It’ll give her a reason to stay close.”

“You really think she’ll buy that?” None of them thought she was that oblivious.

“No, but it’ll give her a reason to allow it.” The others nodded before turning back to the small fire.

“Do you think we can actually do this? Banish her?” Emilie asked quietly and they noticed her hands had tightened on her water bottle. Fynn looked towards him and he could see the younger man was looking for certainty as well.

“Vera’s too stubborn to let us fail. We get her to the ring and she’ll get us through the banishment.” He fully believed she would be successful in banishing Ishtar. His concern was what it would cost her to do it. What effect wielding the master ring would have on her.

“I’m going to bring her some more water. Maybe later we can try your first lesson?” He saw the fear on Emilie’s face as she nodded hesitantly. He knew being a new wolf was frightening, especially when it was hellbent on hurting someone they looked up to. “We’ll take it slow, don’t worry.”

Vera was on her back in the sleeping bag with an arm thrown over her face. He could see the tightness in her jaw showing how much pain she was in.

“You don’t need to keep checking on me Hamish, I’ll be fine.” She bit out and he paused briefly in confusion before continuing until he was sitting behind her head.

“I know.” He said lowly to not irritate her headache any further and gently lifted her head until it was resting in his lap. He reached over and grabbed a washcloth from his bag and used some water to wet it. She fought him slightly as he lifted her arm from her face, but the second the cool cloth was draped over her eyes and forehead she gave a soft sigh.

“You should be using this time to work with Emilie, not sitting here with me.” Vera’s whisper brought a surge of irritation through him. He took a deep breath as he started gently massaging her head and neck.

“Later.” He could see the frown on her face but was happy that she didn’t try to push him away again. He applied more cool water each time the cloth started to get warm and continued his soothing motions long after he heard her breathing even out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emilie SO knows now, but she's so adorable. Is that Vera trying (emphasis on trying) to pull away? Noo of course not...


	50. Foil Dinners And Pinochle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to get this out last night, but sort of lost a bit of steam and got distracted. Hopefully this one is filled with enough fluffy moments to make up for it.

CHAPTER FIFTY

Hamish watched as Vera slept for hours in his lap. He would watch as her peaceful face grew tight from pain or dreams and would whisper quietly to her in an attempt to chase them away. He was worried Amalie may try to take over in her weakened state, but there was nothing yet.

Perhaps the barrier stripped her of enough magic that without a ring herself she couldn’t penetrate Vera’s mind? He really hoped so because without her magic, Vera wouldn’t be able to perform the protection enchantment to keep her out.

He could hear the others doing patrols and chatting. They had started out testing how far they could go while maintaining eyesight of the camp but began pushing it. It was Fynn’s idea and it really was cleverly simple.

When he’d read that the woods changed, he had packed two sets of two miles (3.2 kilometers) worth of fishing line. They had checked with Hamish before trying it, but they would need to know how far was safe to travel and this seemed the safest way.

They had tied the line off to their tent and when they couldn’t go any further without seeing the camp they wrapped the line around the tree and Emilie stayed at that point. Fynn continued on with the line until it was close to half gone.

When he hit a large clearing, he walked around the perimeter with the line, anchoring it to each tree. After completing a cycle around the clearing he began walking back along the other line forming a path between.

When he saw Emilie’s relieved face he smiled and together they walked the rest of the way back to camp and anchored the end of the line to the second tent. After getting some water he ran the length of the wire to the clearing, waited ten minutes and came back.

Hamish heard when he made it back and let out a relieved sigh. He didn’t want to risk Charlotte coming out within line of site of Vera, a mile was enough distance to train and hopefully give enough time for Emilie to overcome the wolf. If she couldn’t by herself, he would stop her when she got too close to the camp.

It was as he was listening to the two talk about what they should cook for dinner that Vera began stirring in his lap. He looked down and was happy to see the pain on her face was lessoned greatly as her eyes fluttered open.

“Feeling any better?” He asked as he brushed her hair back. She nodded and sat up slowly taking a deep breath.

“Much. What time is it?” She was too adorable when she first work up and was disorientated. He reached forward and gently started massaging her tight shoulders.

“Fynn and Emilie were just talking about starting dinner. Did you want to join them around the fire?” He felt her tense slightly and rubbed his thumbs over a particularly large knot. “They won’t care, I promise.” It was a few seconds before she finally nodded, and he gave her a small kiss on her shoulder.

“What’d I miss?” She asked as she dug into her bag to pull out a new bra. He helped her remove her shirt when the soreness of her muscles became obvious and pulled it back on when she was done. It still took enough out of her that she was breathing heavily, but she was able to keep herself upright.

“Emilie and Fynn did some perimeter checks to test how far they could go. They kept in eye line of the camp at first and then used a tether, don’t worry.” He added quickly when she looked back at him with accusatory eyes. “Fynn actually brought a bunch of fishing line and set up a mile-long path into a clearing where Emilie and I can train a safe distance away.”

“Did they happen to see any water I could use to clean up in by chance? I feel disgusting.” She had brought baby wipes she could use if she had to, but after the cold sweats she really just wanted to wash it all away.

“We can ask, if not he has another line we can walk with to try to find something and let you know.” She sent a grateful smile at him before pushing herself up. He quickly helped and steadied her before opening the tent, grabbing the dishes at the last second.

He watched as Vera tried to pull herself taller and couldn’t help but frown. He noticed Emilie frowned slightly at it as well before smiling and turning back to her brother as they went through the options they had.

“We could make some foil dinners?” Emilie suggested looking over at Fynn who took in the canned foods and nodded. “Does that sound good?” She asked looking over at both of them. Vera gave a subtle nod while Hamish nodded but looked unsure as he sat next to Vera.

She looked over at him and gave a small humored smile as she caught her breath from the exertion. “It’s a camping meal. You make a sort of envelope with your foil and put in some canned vegetables, rice, potatoes or meats with some broth before putting it in the coals. It’s actually pretty good.” She shrugged and they all saw the grimace of pain the motion brought but pretended they hadn’t.

Once Fynn had duplicated the canned goods so they retained one can of each he began opening them as Emilie ripped off four large pieces of foil and handed each person a piece. Vera watched Hamish holding his foil awkwardly as he tried to mimic what Emilie was doing and couldn't suppress the small laugh.

He sent an adorable glare her way, but she saw the humor in his eyes. “Just watch, the most important parts are the corners and edges, so it doesn’t leak.” She slowly began folding her foil waiting for him to copy her movements and before too long both had little foil dishes in front of them.

She melted at the beaming smile on his face as he proudly inspected the foil creation. Emilie’s laughter shook her from her staring, and she looked over to see her brow raised staring at his creation.

“You look way too proud of something you haven’t leak tested yet.” She teased and he shot a mock glare at her before pouring some broth in and tilting it back and forth. When a slow, but steady leak showed in the one corner, she saw the faint blush on Hamish’s cheeks.

Fynn and Emilie laughed harder and assured him it happened to the best of them before he joined in the laughter. Vera watched and felt her stomach roll gently as the two wolves laughed with each other. She blamed it on all the smells while she was recovering.

It definitely wasn’t because she could picture the two of them happy if she could force herself to back off and let him move on. She didn’t want him wasting his time taking care of her like he had today when the cancer advanced too far.

Emilie didn’t know how to control her wolf yet, but she _was_ a wolf. She could understand what it meant and what he went through better than Vera could.

“Here, you can use mine. I’m not all that hungry anyways.” She forced a smile as she held it up to him and couldn’t quite meet his eyes. Hamish saw the false smile immediately and didn’t understand the reason for it. He looked up to see the other two looking at her with concern and Vera clench her jaw at the attention.

“You need to eat, if it’s the smells we’ll just use the same incantation as last night. And despite what _some_ people say, I think my dish is perfect!” He shot an amused glare at Emilie and noticed Vera cringe slightly before taking her dish back.

“Now, what first?” He asked determined to get her to smile again before dinner was done. She rolled her eyes but set a can in front of him.

“Just don’t overfill it or it’ll leak from the top as well.” He nodded and followed her lead, sending glances towards her face throughout. When they were finished, she showed him how to close it properly and was happy to see only one of the four corners leaked. “Then we just put them in and wait ten to twenty minutes.”

“How do you know when it’s done?”

“You’re just warming it up, we usually take them off then the foil turns black.” Fynn answered and pulled out a small box filled with cards. “Do either of you know how to play pinochle? Or Hand and Foot?” Emilie almost started clapping in her excitement as she looked at the two wearing matching bewildered faces.

“Oh, you _must_ learn! We could do teams!” Hamish nodded and looked at Vera who looked unsure.

“Maybe another time.” Vera watched the girl’s face fall and felt the guilt start to build. She went to apologize but Emilie waved her off with a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it, we can teach you another night when you’re feeling better.” Hamish watched the pain flicker on Vera’s face when she rebuffed Emilie’s attempt and decided to step in.

“Can either be played without teams?” Fynn caught on quickly and nodded pulling out one of the boxes. “Pinochle. It’s actually better to learn singles first anyways. We actually have our rules and meld points here.” He said as he pulled out a warn sheet of notebook paper and passed it to him. He held it in a way Vera could see it if she wanted.

“Things to note, there’s two of every card only and the order of power is; Ace, Ten, King, Queen, Jack, Nine. The only cards that count as trick points in the end are Ace, Ten and King. Whoever wins the kitty, the three cards in the middle that are face down, gets to declare a suit as trump. Trump cards are the cards that beat everything else no matter the card power.

“For example, say Em wins and chooses clubs and you throw an ace of hearts. If she’s out of hearts she has to throw trump, but she can throw a nine and win your ace. Then because she broke trump, meaning was forced to play it, she can now lead with trump. This is really good for getting the other players trump cards out because if someone leads with trump, the other players _must_ try to beat the card laid first and getting last trick is worth a point.

“It’s also important to note that if you have a run in hearts, but trump is something else you cannot then lay your run in your meld. That’s usually when a bidding war happens. Oh, say you have a run in hearts and an extra king or queen, you can’t lay it down and say it’s a marriage since that would be an affair. If you have _both_ spare king and queen, you can lay that down as its own marriage and it counts as four points instead of two because it's a marriage in trump.

“You want to count the points in your hand you’ll get from your meld, then likely tricks you’ll take from Aces, tens and Kings. If you have unprotected tens or kings, meaning neither of the aces in that suit, it’s likely you’ll lose those tricks so don’t count them.

“Bidding starts at twenty, and you can see there’s a lot of meld points you can get so organize your hand and really make sure you check for everything. If you don’t have _any_ points in your hand, you cannot bid. If you bid too high and you don’t make your bid, you then go Up, which actually means negative, what you bid. And if you, or anyone, doesn’t take a single trick in play cycle, they don’t get to count any points they had in their meld.”

Vera couldn’t stop the chuckle as she saw the deep confusion on Hamish’s face as the rules were thrown at him. And _this_ was exactly why she didn’t want to learn, especially while she was still feeling off. She watched as he picked up the hand of fifteen cards and attempted to organize it.

She unconsciously shifted closer to him and started looking at his hand as he started trying to find the meld. She reached up when he was pointing at the sheet on his lap and pulled two cards out of his hand drawing his attention.

“What?” He saw her small smile and dropped his hand closer to her and allowed her to place the two incorrectly sorted cards into their correct places. Fynn noticed and laughed.

“You have no idea how many times a misplaced card gets people. I always recommend keeping each suit split by color, hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades.” Hamish allowed Vera to change the position of the clubs and shifted the paper over more so she could see it.

He wouldn’t bring attention to it, but he couldn’t stop the smile as she pointed out his points. Emilie watched on from the corner of her eye with a small smile that matched Hamish's before she focused on her own hand.

Emilie started bidding with twenty and Hamish seeing a run and aces around knew he could safely go to twenty-five, most likely twenty-nine if he could keep his aces so he continued until it was just him and Emilie. When she said thirty, he paused.

Vera studied the cards again before looking at Emilie’s determined face.

“Thirty-five.” Emilie and Hamish both looked to her in shock and Vera sent him a small smile as she raised her brow at Emilie challenging her to raise her bid. She watched the girl study her cards harder and raise her own brow at Vera.

“You’re blocking, aren’t you? Pass.” She said as she reached forward and flipped the cards over. “Phew, that wouldn’t have helped at all! Now, remember you have to bury three cards into your collection pile before playing. If you have unprotected tens or kings not in trump, this is a perfect time to bury them and guarantee you get a point to keep your meld.”

Vera unconsciously moved closer again until their shoulders were touching and pointed to two tens and the nine in hearts before looking up at him. He smiled and nodded, not really knowing what she was planning but enjoying her having fun.

She gave him a quick grin before taking the cards and flipping them upside down between them. “Do we show what we have?”

“Just your meld, lay out anything that will go as a point and we’ll count it up.” She nodded and together they laid out the aces around, their run, both nines and the extra marriage in trump they got thanks to the queen in the kitty, and pinochle. Making their bid exactly and leaving Hamish with only one card.

Hamish hadn’t even seen pinochle or thought to count the nines. Both Fynn and Emilie nodded impressed before taking their bid and point value down and signaling they could pick up their cards. Vera’s smile grew as she watched Emilie lay out a double marriage in hearts. They had indeed blocked her run with their tens.

When they all had their cards back in their hand Fynn signaled them to go first and Vera pointed to the Ace of diamonds, then spades and finally hearts before pointing to jack of diamonds.

Fynn stole it with an Ace and tossed a nine of spades that Emilie took with an Ace, along with their queen with her. She threw her Ace of hearts, but Fynn laid an Ace of clubs.

“Oh come on, you too?!” Vera and Fynn chuckled as he led with a spade that Emilie tried to trump with a jack but Vera stole with a queen. Once Vera had collected the cards, she looked over the cards once more before laying the rest of Hamish’s hand down.

“Are you sure you’ve never played before?” Emilie asked as she surrendered the rest of her cards.

“Damn, I’d say beginner’s luck, but you played that out like a pro.” Fynn said giving up his cards as well.

Vera looked up at Hamish with a small smile and saw the confusion on his face before smiling slightly. “If we laid the Ace, either one of them would’ve had to throw the ten and that would’ve been all the trump cards not in our hand. We buried the other suits.”

“When we play teams, dibs on Vera!” Emilie declared raising her hand. “Girls vs guys, it’ll be fun.” Hamish watched the twin evil looks cross both their faces and he looked to Fynn before apologizing in advance.

“Just wait until she gets double pinochle. I swear she cheats sometimes.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault the only times you get it are the times you deal me crap and I get to call for a re-deal. Stop dealing me all nines and maybe you’ll get to keep it one of these days. He’s just jealous because he always loses.” She stage whispered to Vera who couldn’t help but chuckle at their antics.

“What are you talking about? No, I don’t! Even without double pinochle I win at _least_ half the time. We’ll beat them Hamish, just watch.” He glared at his sister before grabbing the tongs and pulling their food out.

Emilie shuffled the deck before setting it off to the side and carefully opened the foil in front of her. She glanced towards Vera from the corner of her eye to see her reaction to the food and saw her small smile as she watched Hamish try to carefully open the pouch without ruining it.

It seemed the game helped take her mind off feeling queasy because she began carefully eating without needing the smell and taste removed. She on the other hand had started feeling queasy as she remembered they were going to be working with her wolf this evening.

Maybe that’s what had Vera on edge. She was worried what her wolf might do to Hamish in her attempt to get to her. It’s what she was mostly worried about, that and if she managed to get around Tundra and back to Vera. She felt a sickening shiver shoot through her at the idea of tearing into Vera and seeing Hamish’s devastation.

“Emilie? You okay?” She jerked her head up at the question and saw the others watching her in concern.

“Hmm? I’m fine.” None of them believed her and she sighed. “Just worried about what my wolf might do.” Hamish set his spoon in his foil and turned towards her.

“I promise Tundra and I won’t let you hurt anyone. You won’t make it back to the camp. If you do somehow manage to get around Tundra, he will catch you before anything happens. Trust us.” She gave a weak nod and tried to finish her meal.

Looking up she saw Vera watching Hamish again out of the corner of her eyes, but she wasn’t smiling this time. She looked tortured. Whatever it was it took her appetite away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Brandts are absolutely 100% aware of Vera and Hamish's feelings. Vera, you're just as obvious as Hamish.
> 
> If you've never played pinochle or had foil dinners when camping, I cannot recommend doing so enough. The double pinochle argument? Ongoing argument between my sister and me. I don't know how she does it, but she does cheat somehow!


	51. Maybe If We Find A Spare Hide, You Can Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after a super shitty day of work I checked Instagram only to see that The Order was cancelled. Friday the 13th has struck again :'( So to get us all through, here's a mostly fluffy Vermish filled chapter.

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Together they cleaned up the food and put the cleaned, now shrunken cans in one of the bags.

“Did either of you see any water while you were out by chance?” Hamish asked as they were cleaning. He had noticed Vera get quiet again after Emilie brought up training and figured she was worried about them both.

“I heard running water over there but it was outside of line of sight. Did you want the other roll of line?” He asked holding up the spare roll. Hamish smiled happily and accepted it before turning towards Vera.

“Ready?” He saw the look cross her face and knew she was going to argue about him accompanying her. “Buddy system in magical woods…”

“Ms. Brandt could accompany me.” Emilie looked terrified with the thought and turned fearful eyes to Hamish to see him glaring slightly at Vera.

“Not until she’s comfortable controlling her wolf. I’ll give you privacy, but you’re not going alone.” Vera could see there would be no swaying him and huffed before turning back and grabbing a change of clothes and her shower stuff.

Hamish quickly tied off the line to the tent and stood at the edge of the clearing waiting for Vera. She studiously avoided all of them and said nothing as they walked. When Hamish was sure Emilie couldn’t hear or see them he stepped closer.

“What’s wrong?” He heard her huff just before she turned to glare at him.

“They’re going to suspect something is going on.” His brow raised at the ridiculous remark.

“For insisting someone accompany you in magical woods that are known to play tricks and change? Especially when you don’t have access to magic to defend yourself?”

“Ms. Brandt would’ve been perfectly capable of accompanying me and it would’ve been more appropriate.” She unconsciously stepped back at the irritation that crossed his face as he stepped forward.

“Not only does her wolf, that she has _no_ control over yet want to kill you, but _she_ isn’t comfortable being alone with you yet because _she_ doesn’t think it’s safe. Did you not see her face when you made the suggestion? Vera she was petrified. She worships you and she knows the thing inside her wants to kill you. You can’t ask her to do this.”

The fight immediately left her body and he reached over and took the small toiletry bag from her. They both resumed walking in silence until they could see the stream up ahead.

“Even if they did think anything was happening between us Vera, they won’t care…”

“I care Hamish! The Order _can’t_ know about us!”

“And they won’t! Fynn and Emilie wouldn’t say anything even if they knew. They both respect you way too much.” When she stayed quiet, he turned back towards her and saw her eyes were closed and her hand was gripping a tree to stay upright.

“Dammit Vera…”

“I’m _fine_! I just need a minute.” She took several deep breaths until she no longer felt lightheaded and opened her eyes to see his concerned face. “Really, I’m fine Hamish.” She said softer and indicated they start walking again

When they got to the edge of the water, she was pleased to see it was actually deep enough that she could crouch slightly and be completely covered. She looked over as Hamish removed his boots and raised a brow.

“I’m expecting the others will want to bathe this evening. Especially if Charlotte decides she wants to put up a fight.” He explained as he stripped his pants and shirt, and began walking across the creek to the trees. He walked around a few of the closer ones before walking back across. There was a solid fifteen feet of water within the barricade.

He picked up his pants before looking at her hesitantly. “Do you want help? And I really only mean help.” He added as both of her brows raised.

“I should be fine. Just…stay close?” She knew she was pushing herself again and didn’t want to risk passing out and drowning because she was being stubborn. He set his pants back down before walking back to the water’s edge to sit and rest his feet in the water.

Vera carefully stripped through her dizziness before walking towards the water. She dropped her towel in Hamish’s lap and let out a quick gasp as the cold water licked up her calves. The blissful sigh slipped from her lips as she sank into the brisk water. It was like a balm to her aching muscles and she could already feel the grime from the past day start to fade.

She focused on cleaning her clammy skin and found her energy draining faster than she had thought it would. Hamish seemed to notice as well because as she was trying to will her arm up to start on her hair, she felt him pulling her back against him until she was able to sit in his lap.

He grabbed the shampoo bar from her hand and ran it through her hair a few times before handing it back. She couldn’t stop the blissful sigh as he worked his fingers through her hair. Once he was satisfied, he shifted back into the deeper water and positioned her so her back was resting over his legs and her hair was submerged in the water.

Hamish allowed the soft current to wash the majority of the shampoo out before bringing the hand that wasn’t supporting her neck up to massage the rest out. Once cleaned he shifted her again until she was resting back against him and just let her enjoy the cool water while she regained her strength.

“I’m sorry for snapping.” She whispered with her eyes closed. Hamish trailed his fingers up her arm before gently kneading her shoulder.

“It’s fine Vera. I know being without your magic and having to rely on others is difficult for you but know that we just want to help. We’re not Kepler just waiting for you to do something we can use against you. We’re on your side, whatever happens.” He heard her heavy sigh and dropped his forehead to her opposite shoulder.

“I know. I’m trying, it’s just…it’s new for me.”

“That’s fine, we’re not going anywhere.” He said it as if he was still talking about the three of them, but Vera knew he was referring to Tundra and himself.

“We should probably start heading back, it’s getting dark.” She said to change the subject and she felt his kiss to her shoulder before he pulled her upright and guided her out of the water. She quickly dried herself off and flipped her head upside down before handing him the towel.

“Dry yourself off and give it back.” He was quick to hand it back when he was finished, noticing how her face was growing paler by the second. He had just finished dressing when she started to wobble slightly, and he reached out just as she lost balance.

“Dammit.” She growled and focused on her breathing again as she waited for the spots to clear from her vision. “I’m just tired.” She reassured him as she felt his grip tighten when her eyes still hadn’t opened. She felt him reach down and pull her pajamas up fully before guiding her down onto a large rock.

“I can’t wait for this to be over.” She whispered as she allowed her head to drop into her arms on her lap. She felt him kiss her head before he got her shoes on and mumbled a quiet _thank you_ when he pulled her upright.

“Will you let me carry you back most of the way? I promise I’ll put you down before they can see us.” He added when she tensed slightly. After a second she hesitantly nodded and he handed her her bag before scooping her into his arms.

“Must be nice having werewolf strength.” She mumbled sleepily around a yawn and he let out a small laugh at the jealous undertones he heard.

“It comes in handy sometimes. Maybe if we find a spare hide…” Her quiet laughter ended his proposition.

“Could you imagine Kepler’s face if I were to become a wolf.”

“She wouldn’t need to know…” He felt Vera’s laughter die out and her head lift off his chest to look at him.

“I thought you said you were glad I wasn’t a knight?”

“I am actually. I’m not really sure why I said that.” She looked at his confused face and allowed herself to sink back against his chest.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m actually surprised there’s even a small part of me that isn’t totally against the idea. Even if it is just a tiny part.”

“Yeah?” That was actually surprising to him to. He could imagine The Council’s reaction if Vera suddenly became a wolf. They’d immediately remove her as Grand Magus and their truce would be over.

“It’s the small irrational part that doesn’t like to think about consequences. But I certainly don’t want to wake up naked in the woods covered in blood.” Her words were coming slower as the motions of his steps lulled her into a peaceful haze.

“That is a drawback.” He mumbled chuckling lightly. “Well, if we find Alpha, you’re more than welcome to try if you want.”

“Not Midnight?” It was clear she was joking, but both Tundra and Hamish immediately rebelled at the idea. Hamish’s arms tightened on Vera before dropping his voice lower.

“No.” Vera’s eyes opened at the hardness in his voice and focused on his face. All teasing was gone from it, and in its place was an image that left no room for argument. Her fingers trailed over his collarbone drawing his attention.

“Hey, I was only joking. I have no desire to try to bond with Midnight, or Alpha for that matter. I can’t really become a wolf Hamish. Everything we’ve worked for will be thrown out of the window if Council ever found out.”

“I know, I know. Just…promise that when we rescue Midnight from Salvador to not go near his hide locker, okay?” She saw actual fear on his face and found herself nodding as she rest her head against his chest again, continuing her fingers absent motions along his shirt collar. She could feel the tension slowly begin to ease from his entire body as he walked.

“We call him Cannon Fodder for a reason.” He finally said as they were nearing the camp. She looked up at him and could see the haunted look in his eyes as he slowly set her down.

“I promise to avoid his locker Hamish.” She whispered while trying to stem the whispers in her mind that either with or without Midnight she wouldn’t live long. His relief was immediate, but she could still see the pain that the idea brought.

In an effort to erase it, she stood on her tip toes and tugged lightly on his shirt collar so he would bend down. The kiss was brief but deep and she allowed him to hold her for a minute as the last of the image left his mind.

“Thank you.” He whispered just before pulling away and grabbing her bag again. She rolled her eyes at his insistence, but deep down she was happy he took it. At the rate her energy was dissipating she was slightly concerned she might pass out before she got to the tent.

When they walked back into the camp, they could see Emilie pacing and hear Fynn trying to tell her she would do fine. She turned her eyes on the two when they walked into the clearing and her panic only increased before she turned and started down the path, mostly in an effort to get away from Vera.

“Em, everything is going to be alright!” He promised before turning back to Hamish and Vera. “Please don’t let her hurt anyone.” He pleaded before turning to continue setting up the fire.

Hamish followed Vera into the tent to drop off her items before grabbing a towel. He was getting ready to turn away and leave when he felt Vera’s hand on his shirt. Looking back he saw traces of fear on her face and dropped to his knees to kiss her.

“We’ll both be okay Vera, I promise. Just try to rest okay?” She nodded and forced her hand to release his shirt and waited until she knew he couldn’t hear before whispering a quiet _be safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still so upset Netflix has again decided to cancel one of their best shows. I can at least promise you guys there's still a TON to come for this fic (I'm planning chapter 97 now, and still anticipate like 20 (probably more tbh) after that...)


	52. Tundra vs Charlotte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is mostly Hamish/Tundra and Emilie/Charlotte focused. But there's some cute Vermish moments to help us all cope. Warning....a bit of Tundra and Charlotte beating, mostly Tundra...
> 
> Here's the link for the petition to Renew The Order. It may not do anything, but it definitely doesn't hurt to try! http://chng.it/JZytYcGX5W

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

Hamish easily caught up with Emilie halfway down the path and saw she was close to hyperventilating. His hand landed on her shoulder and turned her towards him so she was forced to look at his face.

“Emilie, you need to calm down, okay? I know you’re scared, but I won’t let you hurt anyone.”

“What if she gets around Tundra? What is she makes it back to Vera before you can catch up? What if I can’t stop her and she _kills_ her?!” He grabbed her shoulders firmly with both hands and bent until he was eye level.

“I promise you Emilie, there is _nothing_ you could do to stop Tundra from protecting Vera. He will not let Charlotte touch her. And you know Fynn will do the same. Stop thinking about what could go wrong and focus on yourself and Charlotte. Allow us to worry about everything else.”

“How can you be so sure by just feelings? How can you trust your wolf so much?” She still looked terrified and Hamish debated for a minute trying to think of the right words to ease her fear.

“When you’ve been bonded for so long, you and your wolf develop an understanding and you can pull them forth whenever you need to if you sense something is wrong. In the beginning your wolf will push to be released, as you’ve felt when magic happens, or something feels wrong to the wolf.

“Once you learn to truly bond with them and learn to control them you shouldn’t feel allied magic effects anymore and they should not be able to force their way out. The only time they will is to protect you.”

“But you still have to command them, right? They will only force their way out to protect their champion?” She watched his eyes close before opening again.

“In most cases yes, in mine, no. My bond with Tundra is much closer than the other champions with their wolves. Him and I can communicate with each other just as you and I are doing right now. If he feels there is a threat to someone I care about, he won’t wait for me to call him out.

“He will do whatever he believes must be done to do to protect that person because he knows I will support it. It’s rare to form such a connection with your wolf, only one other champion I know of has bonded so completely. So when I say Tundra won’t let you harm Vera, I am relaying what Tundra is promising to me. He will _not_ let you get near her.”

As soon as he finished, he allowed Tundra’s eyes to shine through brightly confirming the words. Emilie studied him for a minute before the tension eased from her.

“You better keep her safe Tundra, she’s important to me too.” Hamish let out a chuckle at Tundra’s scoff. “What?” She asked looking over her shoulder as she continued walking.

“He’s offended that you though he didn’t know that already.”

 _‘And that she thinks Charlotte can get around me.’_ He rolled his eyes at the response and followed Emilie into the clearing. He walked her to the center and offered her the towel.

“You’re going to want to remove your clothes first before they’re ripped. Wrap the towel around yourself and let me know when you’re done.” He saw the deep blush on her face before he turned and stripped down to just his boxers.

“Okay.” He turned and could see her face was scarlet as she shifted under the towel.

“You’ll get used to it, trust me.” She took a deep breath and lifted her eyes unconsciously taking note of his muscled torso. “I want you to focus on Charlotte, can you feel her?” When she nodded with her eyes closed, he took a step closer. “Do you feel anything from her?”

“She’s angry.”

“Okay, try to calm her. Don’t try to push her down, just calm her.” He added when he saw the look of determined focus cross her face. He watched as Emilie breathed deeply and moved her mouth as if she was talking to the wolf. “How’s it going?” he asked when her head tilted in confusion.

“She blames you, or rather Tundra.” Hamish took a step back as Emilie looked up with silver eyes. She hadn’t lost full control, but it was clear Charlotte wanted out.

“Focus Emilie. What does she blame Tundra for?” He watched the blondes face distort slightly as Charlotte pushed against her more.

“Ahh, she’s so mad.” She cried out in pain as she bent forward and Hamish felt Tundra shifting under his skin just waiting to burst out.

“Emilie, calm her!” He ordered as she dropped to her knees and clutched at the ground with clawed hands. “Think of those people you want to protect Emilie, show Charlotte the people you care about. Make her understand.”

He watched as Emilie’s head bent forward before a tan face snapped up with a snarl and began charging at him. Tundra caught her and snarled back. Tundra could see Emilie was still fighting for control as Charlotte’s eyes flickered and tried to hold her upright and avoid her angry swipes.

Tundra watched as the silver faded from Charlotte’s eyes and eased his grip slightly believing Emilie was gaining control. Immediately Charlotte took control again and slammed against Tundra sinking her teeth deep into the grey shoulder. Tundra’s howl of pain echoed loudly around the clearing as he threw the tan wolf off of him.

Charlotte spat the flesh and blood from her mouth as she picked herself back up and charged at him again. Tundra’s arm was already slowly healing, but much too slow to be of any real use. Charlotte saw the weak spot and slashed deeply across his unprotected chest, her claw catching a rib on its way.

Hamish felt the agony of the blow both to himself and to Tundra, but still he pleaded for the wolf to give her more time to get control. As Charlotte ripped her claw free and severed the bone in two, Tundra dropped to a knee as an agonized howl ripped from him.

 _‘She can get control, just a little longer Tundra.’_ He assured as the tan wolf reared her paw back and slammed her claws deep into Tundra’s side before pulling back, tearing a large piece of flesh out. Satisfied the wolf wouldn’t be able to stop her, she dropped to all fours and began charging back towards Vera.

She’d barely made it to the edge of the clearing before Tundra’s claws dug deeply into her lower back and threw her back into the clearing behind him with a ferocious snarl. Tundra dropped control long enough for Hamish to come out.

“You can control her Emilie! _SHOW_ her who you want to protect!” He shouted through the agony tearing through him. Tundra took control again as Charlotte charged back for him. His injured side caving beneath the blow and allowing her to land another deep gash in his side.

 _‘This isn’t working’_ Tundra snapped at Hamish as Charlotte sunk her teeth into him again and he loosed a pained growl.

 _‘Hold her off as long as you can. I believe she can stop her without us dominating Charlotte. She needs to learn or Vera will never be safe.”_ Tundra growled at him, but stood back up and shoved Charlotte back. He watched as Charlotte stalked back and forth before him sending deep snarls his way before her eyes concentrated behind him.

He saw the flicker of blue and knew whatever Charlotte was planning Emilie didn’t agree with it and Tundra relinquished control quickly.

“That’s it Emilie, fight her. Don’t let her harm someone you want to prote..” He was unable to finish as Charlotte began charging full speed at him and Tundra took control again. She feinted an attack and at the last second leapt over Tundra’s kneeling form. He was able to connect with her back leg, but only enough to break the skin.

He threw himself into pursuit and could feel the blood pouring from his torn flesh as he pushed his muscles harder. Tundra’s snarls grew as he picked up on Vera’s scent telling him they were nearing the camp.

 _‘Stop her!’_ Hamish yelled when he saw the firelight start to break through the tree line. Tundra howled deeply and pushed himself harder before leaping at the figure before him and raking his claws down her back.

Charlotte’s piercing howl was drowned out by Tundra’s furious snarling as he grabbed her behind the neck and threw her behind him. He stood on both hind legs gnashing his teeth as Charlotte crouched in an attack position before him.

He could see her eyes flickering blue again and held his attack. Charlottes neck stretched to the side as she fought Emilie, but the snarling was subsiding slowly. She made to lunge once more and Tundra crouched to meet her, but Emilie’s bloodied form landed in front of him instead.

She turned her head and let out a whimper of pain, but Tundra saw the smile on her face.

“I did it. I talked her down. She knows, she knows.” She whispered as she lost consciousness. Tundra limped back the last few yards and saw Fynn and Vera standing by her tent. Her frightened eyes roved over him as she took in his wounds before quickly moving towards him.

Just as she got to him his legs gave out and he landed heavily against Vera’s legs. Tundra nuzzled his head against her stomach before Hamish retook control. “I’ll be okay.” He promised as Vera knelt beside him and looked in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have one more chapter of fluffy Vermish moments before Vera is going to become frustrating (for two chapters), than chapter 56 which is one of my favorites!!


	53. Don’t Apologize Emilie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you to those that reviewed last chapter, you guys keep me interested (and make me feel guilty when I don't post timely, which is a good thing lol)
> 
> Another short one unfortunately, but the next two chapters are going to be a bit frustrating (Vera pulling back) and I didn't want to expand that to three chapters.
> 
> I also want to give a bit of a warning, a book I've been waiting for for three years is coming in tomorrow evening (Rhythm of War (460k words) from the Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson - favorite author and book series!) so my writing schedule may be impacted a bit...I'll TRY to pull myself away long enough to write but like...it may be hard because I'm literally bouncing in excitement for it (also why I didn't post yesterday - I backed a kickstarter for a leather bound copy of the first book in the series, The Way of Kings, and with it came a Novella - Dawnshard, that was recently released for my tier of backer level. I had to read it before the new release. I definitely recommend anyone interested check out his work, his world building is incredible (But read in this order; Mistborn Trilogy, Elantirs, Warbreaker, Stormlight Archive - and the novella's in between)!

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

Hamish looked over to Fynn who was looking back the way he came. “She passed out near the edge; I couldn’t carry her. She doesn’t look good, but she’ll be okay in an hour or two.” He watched as Fynn picked up a towel and started walking towards where Emilie was.

“She did really good Fynn, she was able to stop Charlotte on her own in the end.” Fynn gave a quick smile in understanding and continued towards his sister.

“You let her do this to you didn’t you?” Vera whispered as she brought shaky hands up in an attempt to stem the flow of blood on his side. He turned towards her tear-filled eyes and reached up with his uninjured arm to cup her face.

“She needs to learn to calm Charlotte herself/ If Tundra continues to force her into submission Charlotte will just turn more and more bitter and dangerous. She made really good progress tonight though, she should be proud.” He caught the tear that escaped and guided her head closer to him. “Vera, hey come here. I’ll be okay, I promise.” He soothed as he pulled her against him and felt her shallow gasps as she tried to stem the fear at seeing the condition he was in.

“You have blood all over you now, I'm sorry.” She gave a disbelieving chuckle lacking any trace of humor.

“I don’t really care.” She responded as she kissed him quickly before bringing her blood soaked hands back to the worst of his wounds. “Are you able to heal yourself enough that we can get you cleaned up?”

“Vera, you need to rest.” His worried eyes met hers and he saw she wasn’t going to be able to rest until he was better. He brought his hand up to his side first before his shoulder and healed them just enough to stem the flow of blood before repeating the action to the other deep wounds. “There, see. I’ll be perfectly fine. Now will you please go lay down and rest?”

“Buddy system, you said it yourself. We’ll take it slow.” Hamish growled lowly but the glare Vera sent hand him relenting. She went into the tent as he pushed himself off the ground onto unsteady legs. He saw the worry build again on her face as she exited the tent with her bag, towel and a change of clothes for him and forced himself to stay upright as they slowly made their way to the stream.

They both stripped slowly at the edge and waded into the brisk water. Hamish cringed as it lapped over the raw skin before he felt it soothe the wounds. He felt Vera carefully run the soapy washcloth over his back and shoulders. She took extra care working around the raw flesh around his neck and shoulder before kissing between his shoulder blades gently and floating around to his front.

He saw the tiredness in her eyes and gently pried the cloth from her hands as he kissed her. He made quick work to get the rest of the blood and dirt from him as he watched her resting against the bank. He cast a quick cleansing incantation on the cloth before making his way over to her to remove his blood from her.

Her eyes opened at the contact, but she was too tired to help. She was trying to save her energy for the trip back.

“Charlotte blames Tundra for something and she was still dead set on getting to you.” He confessed quietly as he wiped the blood from her cheek. Hey eyes opened again and took a minute to focus before tilting her head in thought.

“Probably because you guys opposed the creation of the Vade Maecum and she thinks that if you hadn’t fought back against it then maybe the previous Grand Magus wouldn’t have hated the wolves so much. We both know that it would’ve happened regardless. He killed his own son for the book. Murdered his daughter in his hatred and hunted his wife. That’s not on Tundra, that’s on him.”

“I think she’s just filled with rage right now and trying to work through it and find someone to lash out at. Emilie is a strong champion though. I could see her fighting her while we fought, and she did stop her before she could take me out to get to you. It’s going to take time to work it out and for them to build trust, but I think she shows a lot of promise.”

“Did you tell Fynn to guard me while you work with her?” She asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence and watched him flinch telling her she had her answer.

“I needed to know you were safe if she was able to get around me. I couldn’t reign Tundra in from attacking her if I was focused on what she would do to you…” She smiled and pulled his face towards hers to stop his reasoning with a deep kiss.

“I’m not upset Hamish. If it allows you and Tundra to focus and keep yourselves safe, it’s fine. I can use the time to teach him some useful incantations. What?” She saw the smile spread across his face as he pressed his lips to hers again.

“That’s what I suggested he should ask of you.” She chuckled at his beaming smile and watched as he reached behind her to grab their clothes before dropping them and the towel into the water. He looked over as she started laughing lowly and he froze at just how beautiful she was. Until he realized she was laughing _at_ him.

“What? I though you’d like some clean clothes.” She sat up and brought her hand to the side of his face kissing him though her laughter.

“You could have just used the cleansing incantation. Now our clothes are soaking wet.” She laughed deeper as his face tinted red and he picked up the sopping clothing with an apology.

“No, it was sweet. You can still use the cleansing incantation and the water _should_ fade as well…at least I think it might, I haven’t actually tried it before.” She said as she turned over onto her stomach and rest her head on her crossed arms just outside the water looking at the clothes he'd tossed back onto the bank.

She turned her head when she felt his lips on her shoulder and smiled up at him. “Not only do neither one of us have the energy, but we really should be getting dressed. The others are probably going to be coming this way shortly and I don’t want them to see us both naked.”

He sighed knowing she was right and dropped another kiss to the back of her neck before pulling himself out of the water. Vera looked him over and noted the majority of his wounds were minor now and let most of the residual tension fade.

“Ah! Good as new!” He turned beaming at her with a dry towel. He reached down and helped her stand before wrapping the towel around her and kissing her. She was happy he’d already turned to start on the next article of clothing and didn’t see the pout the fluttered across her face when he had pulled away so suddenly.

Once they were dressed, they slowly started back towards the camp. Hamish removed his hand from her lower back when he heard the others. A few minutes later Vera heard the two walking their way.

She froze slightly as Emilie came into line of site. She was still wearing the towel so Vera could see her face and front covered in blood. She knew most of it was likely Hamish’s and her breath caught as she took a step back.

Hamish brought his hand up to her lower back and stroked his thumb back and forth to sooth her. They stepped to the side to allow the siblings to pass and Emilie smiled hesitantly at Hamish.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize Emilie, you did _really_ good tonight and it’ll only get easier the more we practice.” She smiled at him and continued walking and that’s when Vera saw the damage he’d done to her back. The wounds were healing already, but her entire back was lined with deep claw marks.

“I promised her and you that she wouldn’t be able to get to you. I wasn't going to break that promise.” He said as an explanation as he encouraged her to continue walking. When they were far enough away that he was sure Emilie wouldn’t hear him, he continued.

“Charlotte is smart and _fast_. She was able to trick us and got around Tundra. He did what he had to do to stop her from breaking the tree line. He won’t fall for her deception in the future. She’ll be fine Vera. We heal fast.”

He watched as she nodded and rubbed his hand up her back as they walked to their tent. They quickly brushed their teeth and settled in. Vera lasted all of thirty seconds before she turned around and wrapped her arm around him as she buried her face in his chest.

“I’m okay Vera.” He soothed as he pulled her in closer and kissed her head as he stroked her back until she drifted off. He waited until he heard the others come back and turn in before he allowed himself to follow after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, a nice cute one to get you through the next extremely frustrating ones. Just remember as you read them and get annoyed with Vera, she is only trying to do what she thinks is best for Hamish's future...even if she's totally wrong. And it will only be two chapters!


	54. Tundra's Claim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews!! Soo...amazon moved back my book delivery to 'by 11 tonight'...good news is here's the next chapter and I was able to plan out to 105(which ends a huge 30+ chapter arc!) and this one at least starts cute...bad news is...well, I'm pretty sure I've already warned you about the next two chapters...

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

Hamish woke to the sound of birds the next morning. Vera was still asleep in his arms and he couldn’t help thinking how tiny she seemed tucked into his chest. He tried to pull back so he could start some of the coffee they had but she grumbled in her sleep and tightened her hold.

“God you’re adorable.” He whispered carefully brushing her hair out of her face. Her nose twitched as a strand fell on it and she burrowed deeper into his chest. Carefully reaching behind him he grabbed his phone to see it was just after seven.

He didn’t hear the others moving around yet and it was supposed to be a light hiking day. He really didn’t want to wake her when there was no need so instead, he pulled her in closer and let her rhythmic breathing pull him into a wakeful slumber.

He was startled awake as he heard a pot drop and a quiet curse from Emilie. He heard Vera’s disgruntled groan and knew she had woken from the noise as well. He pulled back and looked down at her tired face before smiling widely and offering a cheerful _‘good morning’_.

“Why are you wolves so awake in the morning. It’s not right.” He heard Emilie’s quiet laughter outside the tent at Vera's complaint.

“It’s not a wolf thing, I’ve always been an early riser.” He felt her shudder in his arms as she turned.

“Monster.” She retorted before pulling the sleeping bag over her head to block the little bit of light that dared to enter the tent. Hamish laughed and tugged the sleeping bag down earning an annoyed growl from the woman.

“I’ll make coffee.” He promised as he planted a kiss to her temple and pulled the covers back over her head. He just barely heard the happy sigh and the request for _two cups please_ as he pulled himself out of the sleeping bag.

He looked towards a cringing Emilie by the fire as she offered a quick apology for dropping the pot. Waving off her apologies, he walked over and helped her get the fire going and prepare the coffee.

“She’s not a morning person either I take it?” Emilie whispered so they wouldn’t bother the others.

“Definitely not if she can help it.”

“Fynn almost flunked out his first year because he had a morning class and was always arriving late. He fixed his schedule the following semester.” Hamish let out a low laugh at that as he set the pot of water over the stove.

“Randall’s the same way. He’s also pre-med. He can stay up partying all night long and function fine, but god forbid he wakes up on time after _actually_ sleeping.” Emilie’s burst of laughter escaped before she could stop it and she slapped a hand over her mouth to try to dampen the sound, but it only made it worse.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, that’s not even funny.” She muttered trying to muffle the chuckles as they heard Fynn groan.

“Em, shut up! It’s early!” Both Hamish and Emilie looked at each other before they burst out laughing. “Oh good, there’s two of them. Just what I was hoping for on an extended hiking trip.” He complained loudly as the laughter increased.

“Sorry Fynn!” Hamish sent over after he quelled his laughter.

“Coffee is ready though.” Emilie added and they both started chuckling again when Fynn’s sleep rumpled head poked out from between the tent flaps.

“I take back everything I said. Give please.” He held out his hands as he walked over and sat down beside them inhaling deeply before taking a happy sip.

Hamish waited a few minutes before looking back at the tent surprised that Vera hadn’t come out yet. There was no way she’d slept through that and it wasn’t like her to not come for coffee. He picked up a cup and walked back to the tent peaking in to see Vera packing.

“Coffee’s ready.” He was sure she’d heard Emilie announce it, but maybe she hadn’t?

“I heard. I’ll be out shortly, just going to finish this first.” He titled his head before walking in all the way and zipping the tent behind him. She wasn’t looking at him which was never a good sign.

“Vera?” He whispered low enough he hoped Emilie couldn’t hear. She huffed before turning towards him and he frowned at her guarded expression.

“I wanted to get this taken care of first.” She saw he didn’t fully believe her and sat back before sighing. “I’m still tired is all.” She felt guilty for misleading him as he walked closer with concern on his face.

She was tired still and likely wouldn’t be able to hike more than a few hours, but it wasn’t what was bothering her. Listening to the two wolves laughing as she tried to fall back to sleep sent an image of the two of them lounging together like _they_ had been before he’d gotten up.

She wasn’t exactly jealous and she was almost positive Hamish wasn’t even thinking about Emilie like that. It was just the idea that he _could_ be happy with someone else for a long time if he could get over her. Maybe it could be with Emilie, or some other girl he found.

It was just a reminder that _they_ couldn’t have the happy future of waking up together every day that had soured her mood.

“Do you want to stay another day?” He asked sitting beside her and holding the cup out for her. She huffed before accepting the cup and shaking her head.

“No, I’ll be fine.” She looked at his worried face and rolled her eyes before taking a sip. “I promise I’ll speak up when I need to rest.” He still looked worried, but he nodded and reached out his hand to squeeze her shoulder.

She couldn’t stop the flinch that went through her and closed her eyes at the hurt look that swept across his face. He drew his hand back and pushed himself up.

“You’re second cup will be waiting for you when you’re done.” He offered before leaving her alone in the tent again. She stared sadly at the tent door for several seconds before pulling his bag closer and pulling out the picture she had seen when she grabbed his clothes last night.

She stared at the happy laughing faces and traced her fingers over his face as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. _This_ , this is what she wanted for him. She wanted him to find someone to love that would be around for years to come.

She pulled her phone out and took a picture of the image before she carefully tucked it back into his pack. She continued packing her belongings, leaving her sweater and leggings out to ask one of the others to clean before they dirtied her other clothes.

She would try to distance herself over the next few weeks to see if there could be anything between him and Emilie. She knew it was going to crush them both, but if there was even a slight possibility that a lifetime of happiness could come from it for him, she knew she had to try.

Pulling on her best Grand Magus mask, she carried her items out of the tent and set them down by the fire. She noticed the worried looks from Fynn and Emilie, but Hamish wouldn’t look at her. Biting back the apology, she accepted the second mug of coffee with a forced smile.

Fynn and Emilie filled the silence chatting about nothing as they ate their oatmeal. Vera glanced at Hamish again out of the corner of her eyes for what must have been the tenth time in as many minutes and saw his fists were clenched. She just barely stopped herself from reaching out, but he seemed to notice.

“That was lovely. I’m going to start collecting the line so we can head out once we’re done.” Emilie jumped up eager to get away from the uncomfortable tension around the fire.

“I’ll help. I need to get my clothes from last night anyways.” Neither Hamish nor Emilie noticed Vera’s pained grimace as they walked off towards the clearing rolling the fishing line, but Fynn did.

So it wasn’t just Hamish that felt something much deeper. He had suspected Vera felt something when they were playing cards and she kept shifting closer, but this proved it. He didn’t understand why she was pulling away though, it was clear they both had feelings for each other.

He also wasn’t stupid enough to ask questions. He’d rarely sat through such uncomfortable meals before. Both of them were aware she was pulling back, and Hamish was clearly upset about it. It wasn’t his business to intrude between whatever was going on between them. That job was something Emilie usually took on herself.

So instead he let her sit in silence around the fire as he started to break down the camp.

Emilie looked back over her shoulder to see Vera staring into the fire with a broken look on her face before turning back to Hamish. His jaw was tight, but she could see the pain on his face as well. She waited a few more minutes until she was certain they were out of earshot before engaging in conversation.

“Hamish?” He gave a small grunt of acknowledgment, so she continued. “Last night, you said Tundra would do whatever it took to protect someone you care about. At the time I figured you meant anyone, but that’s not it, is it? Otherwise why wouldn’t all of the champions be able to form the level of connection that you and Tundra have?”

Hamish froze immediately and stared at the wheel of fishing line in his hand. He tried to think of something, but even Tundra was coming up empty.

“Your bond, it’s somehow specific to Vera isn’t it?” She watched as his jaw tightened and his hands clenched around the line.

“She can’t know.” He whispered turning towards her with a lost look on his face. Emilie stepped forward and hugged him in an effort to ease the pain before stepping back.

“I won’t say anything, to anyone I promise. I’m here if you need to talk though.” And with that she continued walking, leaving him to decide what to do next. He watched her walking in front of him before he started winding the line again.

When they got to the clearing, he set the line down and sat down, motioning for Emilie to do the same. When she sat in front of him, he had that lost look on his face again and she reached out and squeezed his knee gently.

“Tundra has claimed her. Not in a dominating, she’s my property way. More of a she is _everything_ that matters in the world and he will stop at nothing to protect her type way. Jack is the only one who knows besides you, but he doesn’t really get it.” She tilted her head as she watched him.

“You love her, don’t you? You _and_ Tundra?” He met her eyes before nodding and looking back at his hands. “Then they should be happy for you.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and he chuckled lightly.

“You don’t understand. The Vera you’ve seen? The one that smiles and comforts disciples, the one who joins in on card games and jokes around? That’s not the Vera she shows back home. People don’t look up to her at Belgrave like they do here, so she always has to appear strong and in control. She can’t allow herself to show any weakness because they’ll prey on it. They can’t look past her going against the last grand magus, even though she saved every single one of them _from_ him.”

“Yeah, but those aren’t your friends and fellow knights…”

“Her taking our memories really fucked with them. Randall can’t stand her and although he jokes about us _being hot for each other_ , if he actually knew anything was going on he would probably freak out. I forced her to bring me here with her knowing that Ishtar had something to do with the hides and he accused her of trying to separate us so she could kill me and blame it on the demon.”

He saw the look of horror on her face at the accusation and smiled. She really did think the world of Vera.

“Jack is trying to look past it all because he knows what she means to us, but he’s also worried about me. Vera’s past…it…She’s had a lot of pain in her life and when she rescued him from the Prometheans, she used that pain as a sort of emotional attack. He was linked so he saw everything. I only know bits and pieces, but I know it makes it difficult for her to allow people to get close to her.”

“Is that why she’s pushing you away do you think? And why she can’t know how you feel about her?”

“She’s not ready.” He said simply and she reached out again to grasp his hand.

“She will be, it’s obvious she cares a great deal. Just be patient with her.” Hamish smiled back at her and nodded.

“Tundra says the same every time she pulls back.” She sent a beaming smile tapping her temple.

“Great minds think alike.” She pat his knee gently before pushing herself up and offering a hand. “Come on, if we don’t hurry, we’ll never hear the end of Fynn’s complaining.”

They were just about to pass back into the clearing when Hamish spoke up. “Thank you by the way. For listening.” Emilie smiled widely and looked at him taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“No need to thank me, that’s what friends are for Hamish.” She said in a singsong voice before skipping back into the camp and over to Fynn to start helping him pack up. Hamish looked towards the fire and saw pain on Vera’s face that she quickly tried to mask as she turned away from him and back towards the fire.

He frowned at her before quickly packing his belongings and moving them outside the tent. Vera went to stand to start breaking down the tent, but Fynn and Emilie waved her off.

“I’m going to collect the other line if you guys don’t need me for anything. The siblings shook their heads and he started towards the spool. He looked over at Vera as he started to spool the line. “Do you want to come?”

He grit his teeth as her mask slipped briefly before she pulled it back and started pushing herself up reluctantly. It was clear she _didn’t_ want to come, but thought she had to.

“Don’t worry about it.” He tried to keep the hurt from his voice but was positive she had picked up on it as he quickly started walking, too fast that she’d be able to keep up easily. He heard her sigh deeply as she sank back down and chanced a glance over his shoulder to see her head in her hands.

Looking past her, he met Emilie’s sympathetic look before turning back and focusing on making sure the line didn’t tangle. By the time he’d gotten back to camp it had been completely broken down and he felt less raw about Vera’s swift one-eighty.

“We all ready?” He asked handing the line back to Fynn who shoved it in Emilie’s bag. They nodded and he watched as Vera went to pick up her pack before clearing his throat. She stopped reaching for it and crossed her arms allowing him to take both bags.

“Lead the way.” He gestured with his free hand and the three of them fell in line behind Vera as the slowly trekked through the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had already adored Emilie before this chapter, but absolutely fell in love with her here. Next chapter will be a mini time skip...My book should be in soon (hopefully!), but I will still try to pull myself away to get these out!


	55. Vera Pulls Back And Emilie Schemes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm both upset and okay with my book STILL not getting here (I did get my impulse buy of a mini cotton candy machine though...so definitely trying that after.). But here's the next chapter, and I planned up through Ch. 109 while at work (I really need to catch up on my stuff...woops)

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

They were able to hike about three hours before Hamish noticed Vera’s pace start to slow drastically. Her breathing was starting to turn ragged as they were coming up on their forth hour. He was about to speak up when he saw the clearing up ahead and knew that’s what she was aiming for.

The three of them were relieved when she sat down on a fallen log once they stepped out and the three of them went to work on setting up camp. When her tent was set up, she pushed herself up off the log and grabbed her bag.

“I’m going to lay down for a bit.” She definitely pushed herself that last hour and she was positive they all knew it too. All she wanted to do right now was to lay down and block out the sun to try to dampen the migraine. She heard the zipper once she was settled and barely contained the annoyed groan.

“What?” She snapped from her place under the sleeping bag. She heard Hamish unrolling his sleeping bag beside her before sitting down on top of it.

“The others are setting up the line and looking for water. I thought it’d be a good idea to set up now before you fall asleep.” She was happy he couldn’t see her face as she listened to his sad reserved tone.

“It’d be more appropriate if you stayed in the other tent.” There was a long pause and Vera _almost_ pulled the cover down to see his face.

“Do you want me to sleep in their tent?” She grit her teeth in frustration when the lie refused to pass her lips.

“It would look better if you did.” She heard him shift slightly and held her breath. A second later, he pulled the sleeping bag down so he could see her face.

“That’s not what I asked Vera. Do you want me to stay with Fynn and Emilie?” He didn’t want to leave her alone, but if she told him to, he would. He watched as her eyes tightened further before she turned on her side away from him.

“It doesn’t matter, sleep wherever you want.” She heard the faintest hint of a growl before he dropped the cover back over her head. She listened as he shifted around before she heard the zipper open and close. She let out the shaky breath she was holding and slowly pulled the sleeping bag down before turning her head.

She was surprised when she saw his sleeping bag was still there and felt the relief wash through her. Seeing the two of them when they came back this morning had almost crushed her. She didn’t think she’d be able to handle him sleeping so close to her so soon.

She pulled out her phone and opened the image of them. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered to herself and let a few tears fall before turning the phone off and trying to drift off.

Quiet laughter pulled her from unconsciousness, and she blinked several times before sitting up. She could smell some type of meat cooking which told her Hamish had likely gone out and caught something. She felt her stomach grumble as the smells caused her mouth to water.

“Oh, come _on!_ That’s just not right!” Fynn’s indignant response was met with twin _‘Shhh, she’s sleeping!’_ but they both couldn’t help laughing at his frustration.

“I don’t know how you do it, but I swear you cheat.”

“You dealt me _six_ nines! _You_ dealt it, not me.” Vera smiled realizing the story from last nights’ conversation was apparently playing itself out. Not wanting them to feel the need to dampen their laughter, she reached into her pack and pulled out one of the books she’d brought.

When she walked out, she saw three guilty faces smiling at her, but she just waved them off and sat down across from Hamish and opened her book. She could see him looking at her and knew she had hurt him just now by not sitting in the open spot between him and Emilie.

She tried to pretend she didn’t see it, nor the look he and Emilie shared and instead forced herself to focus on the words before her.

“Do you want to play?” Emilie asked and Vera raised her head with a small forced smile shaking her head.

“Another night.” She could see Hamish watching her as she turned back to her book and it took everything in her not to look up. They continued playing their game and after about fifteen minutes the bickering and teasing started again.

Vera would find herself smiling softly as they argued and laughed, but she could also feel the pain when Hamish’s laugh didn’t hit that baritone level when he was really amused. By the time dinner was done he’d mostly returned to normal, but she could still pick up on him holding back slightly.

She stayed quiet during dinner, blaming it on tiring herself out today. She thanked them when she finished and stood with her book. Quickly making an excuse that she was still feeling drained before she made her way back to the tent. She pulled out her book light and slid back under her covers and tried to focus on reading.

She could hear the others whispering as they continued their meal, seemingly more comfortable now that she’d returned to the tent. The zipper opening several minutes later startled her and she looked up and met his eyes.

“I’m just grabbing my towel for our training session.” She watched as he pulled his towel out and turned to leave.

“Be safe.” She whispered just before he left and he turned towards her and offered a weak smile before leaving the tent. She sat up and hugged her knees trying to listen for the growls and let out a pained gasp as she heard Tundra’s howl of pain.

“Vera?” She immediately released her legs and looked towards the noise.

“Headache, I’ll be fine.”

“So will they.” Fynn assured her and she dropped her head back onto her knees as she listed to the wolves fighting in the distance. They fought for another fifteen minutes before there was silence. She found her breathing unsteady until she heard their laughter.

“I did it Fynn!” Emilie’s excited holler tore through the camp but did little to assuage her fear.

“She did good. Really good. I’m going to go clean up quick then it’s all yours Em.” Vera’s fists clenched at her shins as she heard the nickname slip from his lips. This was what she wanted for him, but it didn’t hurt any less.

She forced her breathing to calm as she listened to Emilie excitedly relaying what happened to Fynn until Hamish came back and the two siblings buddied up leaving her alone with him. She rolled so she was facing his bag but pretended to be asleep as he opened the door and slipped in.

“I know you’re awake Vera.” He said in an irritated voice and she opened her eyes to take in the damage. A pained gasp broke through her lips as she saw him. It wasn’t as bad as last night, but it was still bad. It looked like she had wrapped her arms around him and clawed from his shoulders down along both sides.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly as he threw a shirt on. He huffed before turning towards her.

“I’ll be fine. Get some sleep.” He muttered crawling into his own sleeping bag and turning off the lantern. She wanted to reach out to him, soothe the pain she knew she could, but she remained rooted to the spot.

“Goodnight Hamish.” She whispered and heard his heavy sigh.

“Goodnight Vera. I hope you’re feeling better tomorrow.”

This routine continued for the next _nine_ nights and Hamish was starting to lose it. Vera would remain quiet as they hiked unless absolutely necessary and would always have that damn book for mealtimes as an excuse to avoid their nightly card games or conversation.

Emilie had mostly gotten control over Charlotte after the first week and now their training was mostly sparring. They had gotten much closer and he was sure that if it wasn’t for their nightly sparring and talks, he would’ve snapped at Vera by now, even with Tundra trying to reign him in.

Vera herself was also near breaking point. She had watched as the two wolves continued to get closer and closer over the past nine days. Their training sessions had gotten longer and longer each night and tonight was no different. While she waited for them to come back this evening, she’d actually fallen asleep only to wake to him walking in their tent with a huge happy smile on his face.

He had offered a quick _‘I’m fine’_ to ease her worry before he turned and joined Emilie and Fynn back at the fire. She listened as Fynn said goodnight and the two wolves stayed and continued talking and laughing around the fire.

She’d pulled out her phone and stared at the image of them laughing and tried to block out Emilie’s laughter permeating the tent. Her silent tears continued until she fell asleep, still hearing the sound of the happy wolves.

When she woke and turned to face him, she felt the pain as she saw his empty, perfectly made bed. It only grew worse when she walked out to see them huddled over the morning fire preparing breakfast. She tried to return Emilie’s smile and wave but couldn’t tear her haunted eyes from Hamish’s happy face as he looked up towards her.

Vera had barely eaten breakfast and hadn’t spoken more than a quick _‘morning’_ to the others. She pretended it was just frustration because this was their thirteenth day in the woods, and they were still no closer to finding the elusive alter.

“Vera?” She heard after they hit their sixth hour hiking and turned her head towards Emilie as she stepped up beside her. “I’ve been thinking about your offer to transfer next year and after talking with Hamish about it last night, I’d like to accept…If the offer still stands that is.”

Vera forced herself to continue walking through the agony that was tearing through her. She should’ve seen this coming, especially after last night and this morning, but she hadn’t. She followed Emilie’s smile as she looked over her shoulder and saw Hamish returning it and just barely turned the pained moan into a cough.

“Of course the offer still stands. I wouldn’t want to keep you wolves apart.” She tried to send a teasing smile towards Emilie but knew it came out more like a grimace. What surprised her was the look of shock and understanding cross the girl’s face as she stopped walking and stared at her.

Vera forced herself to continue walking and not turn around, she couldn’t handle seeing the two of them so happy. Not yet, she needed a little bit of time.

“Is It okay if we camp at the next clearing tonight? I’m not feeling too great and I don’t want it to get any worse. Plus, I hear running water nearby.” Vera bit back the growl at the girl’s question. Of course she wanted to celebrate the news.

She gave a jerky nod and roughly ten minutes later they came out to a clearing large enough to set up camp. She set up her tent and bedding in silence, trying to ignore the fact that as soon as they stopped Emilie and Hamish had taken the line to search for the running water together.

“I’m going to lay down for a bit if that’s okay, I’m actually not feeling so hot either.” Fynn said and Vera eyed him curiously. He _looked_ fine, but maybe there was actually something going around. It would make sense the two siblings would get it first since they were sharing a tent. Sending him a nod she continued working on setting up the fire.

She looked up from her book as she heard footsteps and saw the wolves smiling at each other before Emilie put on a very poorly acted sick façade.

“Fynn isn’t feeling well either is he? Well that's not goo. I think I’m going to follow his lead and try to take a nap. The bathing area is all set up if you would like to use it.”

Vera’s brow raised clearly suspecting something was going on, but the girl just flushed slightly before ducking into her tent. Hamish said nothing but moved his stuff into their tent and came back out with her shower bag before coming to stand in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit...I am a cruel person for ending it there...I have the majority of the next chapter written. I just have to fill in a few spots and make a few corrections as some things played out a bit differently than I expected when 56 wrote itself..so hopefully I can get that all worked up, edited and out to you guys tomorrow.


	56. A Magical Waterfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My book FINALLY arrived and it's SOO pretty (seriously, look up the cover a art for Rhythm of War - all the cover art is gorgeous though...)!!! I guess a bit less exciting for you guys though...but I did promise those of you that reviewed that I'd focus on finishing this chapter first, so here you are :)

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

“Yes?” She asked with irritation after he continued to block the light to her book without saying anything. He reached down and gently pulled the book from her hands before walking away from her and down towards the section he and Emilie had just come back from.

“Can I have my book back?” She asked coolly and his steps faltered as he looked over his shoulder to see her still sitting by the fire glaring at him. He frowned at her and signaled silently for her to come with him. “No.” She spat and turned her glare towards the fire.

It may be childish, but she didn’t want to be alone with him so he could officially end whatever it was they were. Not yet. She listed as he walked back over to her and stood between her and the fire again. She clenched her jaw and glared up at him but when she saw the hurt on his face she felt her mask slipping.

“Please Vera.” He asked softly as he held his hand out for her and waited. She kept eye contact for several seconds as the hurt grew on his face before sighing softly and standing. She refused to let him help her up and sped up her pace when she felt him attempt to rest his hand on her lower back.

He took the hint and dropped his hand and the two of them walked in silence as the sounds of running water grew louder. He smiled as he heard her gasp when the line of trees broke, and she was able to take in the view before her.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered as eyes followed the cascading waterfall into the deep pool. She felt him step up beside her and flinched slightly as his hand came to rest on her back.

“You should thank Emilie for asking that we stop and set up camp.” He focused on her face when he said it and her immediate reaction proved Emilie’s theory right. Vera’s wide smile immediately dropped, and pain flashed across her face as abruptly stepped away from him.

“She was right.” He muttered and Vera’s hurt eyes snapped to his before she started walking closer to the waters edge. “Why?” He asked and she turned confused eyes towards him as she sat on the large moss-covered boulder.

“Why what?” She began absently picking at the moss beside her as he walked closer.

“Why are you trying to push us together? Especially when we both know it’s clearly hurting you.” His voice was as broken as she felt, and she quickly reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose to quell the tears that threatened to fall.

“You two seem happy with each other. You should be able to have something meaningful with her without having to worry about the woman you were sleeping with.” She watched as he knelt down in front of her and brought both hands up to the sides of her face before pulling her into him.

Vera felt herself gasp into the kiss before she shoved him back and felt the stinging in her eyes. “Please don’t.” She whispered with her eyes closed. He brought his forehead to hers and breathed deeply.

“Vera, there is _nothing_ between Emilie and me beyond friendship.”

“Hamish, she understands you and she makes you laugh…” He growled fiercely and tightened his grip in her hair to force her to make eye contact.

“Stop! There will _never_ be anything between us. She’s like a little sister to me. Don’t push me away over some twisted idea that there could ever be something between Emilie and me.” He was actually angry with her; she could see that clear as day. She knew she looked lost, but she didn’t know what to say to make this better.

“Sorry.” She let out and she wasn’t exactly sure what she was apologizing for. Pushing him away? Not letting him go completely? Trying to push him towards Emilie? Everything? His fierce face turned anguished at her broken apology.

“I want whatever this is for however long you let me.” He signaled between them before cupping her jaw. “If it never moves forward, fine. If you decide you want to end it, fine.” She could see the pain in his eyes as he said that before they took on a fierce determined look.

“But don’t you _dare_ try to make my choice for me because you think I feel a certain way or am making a mistake. I can make my own decisions and live with whatever the consequences may be.” He watched her eyes water as she studied him.

“You don’t understand Hamish. There’s things you don’t know about me.” She broke off as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She clenched her hands tightly and looked away.

“I _don’t_ care. Whatever it is Vera, it doesn’t matter. I learned seven years ago how short life is and how important it is to cherish the time we’re given.” He watched her fighting for breath before turning her head back towards him.

“Do _you_ want to end things between us?” Her mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out as another tear slipped free. _“Stop._ Stop thinking about me and what you _think_ is best for _me_. What do _you_ want? Do you want to stop whatever it is we have between us? Yes or no Vera?”

“No, but…” He pulled her forward and kissed her hard before pulling back just enough to whisper.

“Then don’t. We’ll deal with the consequences later. Cherish what we have while we have it.” He kept his lips a breath away from hers and waited for her to decide their fate.

It felt like hours that he stayed there kneeling on the hard rocks listening to her ragged breathing as she warred with herself. But when he felt her lean forward and press her lips to his he let out a relieved gasp of his own and pulled her to him.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered over and over again between desperate kisses as they started to undress each other. He wasn’t sure if she was trying to apologize for what she’d put them through the past nine days or what she knew was coming. Either way he pulled back and stared at her.

“Stop apologizing Vera. Just let yourself live in the moment.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he claimed her lips again and finished removing her clothes. He picked her up and slowly walked into the cold water, lips latching onto her neck when she broke the kiss to let out a gasp as the water connected with her feet.

He continued walking deeper and as the water hit her waist she shivered and they both groaned deeply at the friction the action created. His hand fisted in her hair and pulled her lips back to his just as he stepped under the waterfall. Her arms tightened around his neck and pulled herself closer to him as the cold water forced a genuine laugh from her.

He pulled away from her lips so see her laughing face and couldn’t stop himself from joining in with her as she tried to cover both their eyes from the cascading water. “There she is.” He muttered before pulling her back to him. A few steps further and they found themselves behind the falls.

He pulled back once he had her pinned against the rocks edge and stared into her soft eyes as he slowly pushed into her. They were hidden away from the rest of the world and Vera allowed herself to forget everything that was happening outside of this moment in time.

She threaded both hands into his hair and pulled herself flush against him as she poured her love for him into the kiss. She could feel her eyes watering but for once, they weren’t tears charged with anguish. Her kisses grew deeper as she felt herself begin to peak but forced herself to pull back, she needed to see his face.

Her fingers trailed gently down the sides of his face and over his lips before he turned his head and kissed her palm. She wanted to memorize everything about him in this perfect moment.

The way the dim light bounced off the water behind his back and caused sunlight to dance across his skin. The way his hair splayed over his forehead until she brushed it back and he nuzzled into her hand. His eyes so full of love she felt the oxygen leaving her lungs before she experienced pure unadulterated pleasure.

She came back to her senses a few seconds later and felt his arms wrapped around her and a hand cradling her head to protect her from the rock wall as his pace increased. She dropped her lips to his shoulder as she felt another wave of pleasure start to coarse through her.

 _“I love you_ Hamish” She only allowed the last word to have any volume as she fell. The other three remained silent ghosts against the skin of his neck. He followed after her mouthing his own words against her neck and for once she didn’t let herself worry about what they were.

Vera lifted her head from his neck and looked down at him. He was looking at her like she was the most important thing in the entire world, and she felt the soft smile spread across her face before she started kissing him slowly.

He pulled away minutes later and turned so he could lean against the wall before turning her in his arms. He wrapped one arm around her waist and the other over her upper arms and he littered her neck and shoulders with open mouthed kisses.

“It’s beautiful here Hamish, thank you for bringing me.” She said as she brought her hands up to thread her fingers through his. He barely heard her over the sound of the waterfall before them but turned his head to kiss her temple in response. He didn't want to shatter the moment with words.

He tightened his hold on her and she allowed her head to rest against his shoulder as they watched the sun’s rays begin to dim. Vera’s grip on his hands tightened before she removed them and turned in his arms.

“We should probably start heading back before they start worrying about us.” Hamish pulled her against him and kissed her deeply before pulling back and nodding. She started to swim back but his hand shot out and wrapped around her foot as he pulled her back. Of course, he wasn’t expecting for her to go underwater with the pull so when she came up coughing he immediately started apologizing.

“What?” She demanded but the amusement in her eyes that she couldn’t smother took away the bite.

“We should at least clean up while we’re here. I’ll grab the stuff, you wait here.” She nodded and watched him walk out of the water, biting her lip as the water rolled down his naked back. Not wanting to get caught staring, she kicked off the pools floor with her foot and started to float on her back with her eyes closed.

She heard the quiet splash but didn’t bother opening her eyes until she felt his hands grip her hips and pull her into him as he stood from beneath her. “You are a goddess.” He whispered in her ear before turning her and guiding her legs around his waist before he slid into her.

She smiled down at him as she captured his lips in a bruising kiss that matched his pace. She was positive she would have deep marks on her hips from how hard he was gripping them, but it just added to her pleasure and she felt herself gasping his name as he sent her into oblivion. He followed with her name on his lips.

They held each other in the middle of the pool as they caught their breaths before Vera pulled back with an amused expression. “I don’t think _this_ qualifies as cleaning up.” He tried to look apologetic, but his happiness wouldn’t allow it. He slowly walked them backwards towards the soap and shampoo he’d dropped when he saw her floating on her back. Still sheathed inside her, he carefully sat with her still in his lap, water lapping gently just below her bellybutton.

She took the shampoo bar from his hands and trusting him to not drop her, bent backwards until her head touched the water before pulling herself upright again. She saw the lust in his eyes and felt him hardening inside her. Vera raised a brow as she brought the bar to her hair and started massaging her hands through her long locks. Her eyes close as he lifted her and guided her back down slowly, a quiet gasp leaving her lips.

He continued the slow gentle pace as she worked her hair into a lather. “God, you’re _perfect.”_ He whispered as she bent backwards again to rinse her hair. As her back arched he couldn’t stop himself from picking up his pace slightly. He watched as her teeth clamped down on her lower lip and her hands froze and knew he’d hit just the right spot.

He waited until she started moving her hands again and her teeth loosened on her lip before roughly pulling her back against him. _“Fuck Hamish.”_ her throaty moan echoed around the clearing and he was thankfully they were far enough from the camp Emilie wouldn’t hear as his slow pace became frenzied and their pleasured moans bounced around them.

He heard her choked whimper and pulled her from the water as she tightened around him and pulled him over with her. Her arms held her to him as her panting breaths slowed.

“You need to remove any marks you made just so you know.” She said in a sultry voice as she carefully pushed herself off of him and onto shaky legs. She started drying off and flipped her hair upside down before wrapping it in the towel.

When she stood up, she saw him slowly approaching her with eyes absolutely _filled_ with lust. She held out her hand with wide eyes.

“No Hamish, we need to get back!” He nodded but kept approaching. “Is this some sort of wolf stamina?!” She asked as she took several steps back before his chest could make contact with her hand. God, she wanted to rake her nails down his… _no Vera!_

His wet muscled torso connected firmly with her hand just as her back collided with a tree. He stepped closer and planted his hand against the tree above her head staying just a breath away from her lips.

“Do you want me to back up?” He asked in a low growl and she pulled him into her before she’d realized it.

“ _God no_!” She panted just before he crushed her lips with his as he lifted her and slid in pulling a ragged sigh from them both. His pace was brutal, and she could feel the bark biting roughly at her back, but it wasn’t enough. She reached up with one hand to bury her fingers into the unforgiving bark as she dug her nails into his back and begged him to go faster.

Hamish could smell her blood and started to pull back quickly as he realized he was hurting her, but her grip tightened on his back as _‘no, no, no, no!”_ tore from her lips.

He lifted his head to look at her face and her eyes were dark bottomless pools staring back at him. “Harder.” She demanded as she tightened her legs around him. The growl tore from him at her demand and he slammed into her drawing a deep _‘yess’_ from her.

His teeth clamped onto her neck piercing skin as she came with a long drawn out moan, her nails biting deeply into his back pulling him over with her. She dropped her arm across his shoulders as she took deep heaving gulps of air.

“That _was…mmm”_ Hamish jerked slightly as she bit his neck.

“You need to stop right now if we’re ever going to leave here.” His hand tightened in her now towel freed hair as she kissed the mark she’d left.

“I don’t think I can handle another round.” She panted quietly against his neck as he stepped away from the tree. The smell of her blood grew stronger and looking at the tree he could see it was covered with it.

He brought his hand up until he felt her wince and started healing the marks. She kept her hair off to her side until he was finished and waded into the water to remove the blood from her back and neck before walking back out and drying off again.

When Hamish saw how much blood had coated her back, he felt guilt begin to creep up at having lost control again. He cast a cleansing incantation at the tree so Emilie wouldn’t smell it when she came and turned back as Vera started dressing.

“Sorry for loosing control.” Her eyes snapped to his and her head tilted.

“Please don’t ever apologize if _we_ decide to get rough occasionally. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do Hamish. Like I said before, you’ll know if I don’t like something. What we did just now?” She stalked towards him with a wicked smile and pulled him towards her to kiss him deeply. “That was _good_.” She purred and kissed him again before turning to finish dressing.

He had a dopey smile on his face when she turned, and she let out a small burst of laughter. “Are you planning to get dressed? I would rather you didn’t treat the others to a free show.” He smirked at her and gave a deep exaggerated bowed before he began to dress.

“Ready to go check on the _sick_ siblings?” She asked with a chuckle as they started walking back. Hamish’s arm wrapped low around her back and he pulled her closer to him with a hand to on her hip.

“They just wanted you to be happy.” He whispered and despite knowing she should be annoyed that they know, she couldn’t find it in herself to care right now. Who knew how much longer they’d be stuck in here?

“They’re sweet, even if they are absolutely terrible liars. I was thinking we should invite Fynn to transfer as well.” She said looking up at him while wrapping her arm around his back and he stroked his thumb over her hip.

“I think he’d take you up on the offer in a heartbeat.”

* * *

So this Triberg Waterfall and it is actually located in the Black Forest in Germany. Just expand the pool a bit more and this is the setting for this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There! At least if I get too sucked in to my book, you'll have a happy chapter that's not a cliff hanger. (I will try to pull away, but Sanderson has a way of sucking you in.)
> 
> This is personally my favorite chapter out so far because Vera is FINALLY dropping the majority of her barriers and choosing to be happy. She won't pull back for awhile, but I will warn you, there are several VERY heavy chapters to come in the future...some may require a box of tissues...


	57. Don't Leave Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the reviews! Good news is here's the next chapter...bad news is, after getting about 280 pages (out of 1230 pages) into my book, I realized I have to go and reread one of the stand alone books in this universe because it's been two years and I basically forgot everything and now it's being pulled in...so my writing schedule is still gonna be a bit wonky for a bit.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

Hamish heard the two siblings laughing and quietly pulled Vera to a halt with his finger over his lips. He leaned close and whispered in her ear. “Do you want to mess with them a bit?” Pulling back, he saw her wicked grin and bent to pick her up.

She raised her brow and leaned back but he gave her a stern _‘trust me’_ look. Rolling her eyes, she waved her hand telling him to proceed and he lifted her bridal style and continued walking silently towards the camp. Vera could hear the two now bickering and laughing and her smirk grew deeper.

“Wait…shh.” They heard Emilie _attempt_ to whisper as Hamish stepped into the clearing. “Shit, shh, they’re back! Be quiet!” Vera rolled her eyes as they shut off the light and rather noisily tried to pretend as if they were sleeping. Hamish set her down quietly and they approached the tent.

“Hey Em, how’re you feeling?” Hamish asked and they both rolled their eyes at her very poor attempt at a sleepy cough.

“I should probably check on them, I am after all responsible for their wellbeing.” Hamish raised both brows looking at her impressed. She tilted her head with a pleased look and bit her tongue as there was a sudden burst of shuffling inside the tent.

She opened the tent and both Hamish and Vera poked their heads in to find two very awake, not sick at all siblings surrounded by cards looking up with matching faces that screamed at getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

“I feel so much better…?” Emilie smiled guiltily but her statement came out more like a question. Fynn glared at her before punching her in the arm drawing an indignant _‘hey!’_ from the girl as she punched him back.

“I _told_ you she wouldn’t believe you; your acting is _terrible_!”

“Yours isn’t much better Mr. Brandt. I _don’t_ appreciate being lied to.” Vera said sternly with a frown and turned away. She caught Hamish’s eye and sent an amused smirk his way.

“Is she mad at us?” Emilie asked worriedly and tried to peer around him. “I didn’t mean to upset you Vera. I'm so sorry, please don't be mad.” Hamish cringed at the fear on the girl’s face and turned to face Vera who was fighting her laughter at this point.

“ _Her_ acting on the other hand is _very_ good.” Hamish stage whispered to the worried siblings who looked at him before looking back to Vera who was laughing lightly to herself.

“I was the treasurer of my improv troupe in college.” She offered as she built the fire back up before sitting down. “Now, are you two going to continue acting like you’re sick or would you like to join us for dinner?”

Vera watched Fynn glare at the two as he left them hovering by the tent, already done with them and their scheming, and joined her by the fire. She watched as Emilie looked to Hamish who was still smiling softly and she let out a small _‘yay’_ before giving him a tight hug. His eyes remained fixed on Vera’s throughout and she smiled back at him when she didn’t feel that familiar stab of pain.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?” Emilie whispered in his ear and he nodded slightly before she dropped back in the tent and came out with her hands full of cards she was organizing into the box. “Foil dinner’s tonight?” Hamish cringed slightly at the suggestion as he sat next to Vera.

“Don't worry, I’ll help.” Vera pat his knee as she chuckled. In the three night’s they’d had them he had yet to make one leak proof and the siblings teased him relentlessly. Vera had only showed him the first time, but if she was offering, he didn’t really care if it leaked.

“Fine, but if it leaks its on yo…me. It’ll still be on me.” He added as she raised her brow in challenge. Emilie chuckled lightly and handed them pieces of foil. Hamish’s look of concentration was adorable as he followed Vera’s instructions perfectly.

After the first two times, he’d learned to wait to be proud of his creation so without looking up he poured some liquid in and tipped it back and forth. “Ha!”

“So impressive. But _will it last_ ladies and gentlemen?” Fynn mocked with a slow clap and teasing smile. Hamish sent a humored glare at him before preparing his meal. He waited for Vera and watched her close hers off, matching every movement with his own.

He hesitantly picked it up and flipped it and when no liquid leaked out, both Emilie and Fynn stood and started dramatically applauding and bowing. He looked towards Vera who was just barely containing her amusement as she leaned forward and placed her meal on the coals.

“Cards? Emilie asked hesitantly and Vera felt a glint of guilt go through her for being so distant. She looked up to see Hamish looking at her to see what she wanted to do.

“Partners, right?” Emilie _tried_ to dim the wide smile as she nodded excitedly and explained the differences between singles and team play before dealing. By the time their meals were done both Hamish and Fynn were adamant against ever playing against them as a team again.

Emilie took chances and gambles to win the bid, but Vera was able to read her and hand her _exactly_ what she needed almost every single time. And Vera was able to intimidate the other two enough for them to get less confident in their hands and surrender the bid to her. In short, they completely _crushed_ them, and that’s not including their sixty points from double pinochle twice in a row.

Vera leaned heavily against Hamish’s side as they started telling stories. She was trying to stay awake, but after the day of hiking and then the events at the waterfall she was exhausted. Hamish brought his arm behind her unconsciously for support as he continued his story and trailed his fingers up and down her arm.

He felt her head land heavily on his shoulder and stopped talking to look down at her with a small smile. Fynn looked slightly uncomfortable, but Emilie had both hands clasped over her heart as she looked at them like someone would look at puppies.

He finished his story shortly after she fell asleep and gently called her name. Her eyes opened immediately, and she looked up at him tiredly. “Do you want to go to bed?” She yawned and nodded turning away from him.

He watched her freeze and the slight blush tint her cheeks as she saw the other two around the fire. They both smiled and offered her a quick _‘goodnight_ ’ before they resumed talking. He offered her his hand and pulled her up before following her into the tent.

She tiredly stripped her shirt, pants and bra before sitting heavily on the sleeping bag and watched Hamish with tired eyes. He looked over at her and chuckled as she sat with her legs loosely crossed before taking out one of his sleep shirts and turning around.

“Arms up.” He said and she looked at him in confusion before looking down at herself and realized she was still shirtless.

“I’m tired.” She complained as she forced her arms up and into the shirt. He could hear Emilie’s chuckle before the slap that told him she was trying to muffle her laughter, unsuccessful. He was just happy Vera was too tired to notice or remember it.

“I know, we’re going to bed now.” He unzipped his sleeping bag and opened it fully before picking up Vera, who had laid down curled up on top of her bag when he turned away She grumbled at being moved, but almost purred when he got her close enough to his chest that she could snuggle into his warmth.

He set her down on the open bag earning another disgruntled noise from her and went to turn to grab her bag to zip them together. The problem was she had a grip on his shirt. He tried to remove it, but she actually whined which was a first. He was now regretting their promise to not cast the silencing incantation at any point.

“Vera, let go of my shirt.” God she would be so mortified if she remembered this tomorrow. He was going to have to make sure to tell Emilie in the morning to not say a word about _sleepy Vera_.

“No, don’t leave me.” The last three words he was happy were said quietly enough that no one but him would hear or remember them. He leaned closer to her and kissed her lips gently before whispering.

“I’m not going anywhere Vera, I promise. I Just want to make our bed so we can go to sleep, together okay?” Her brow furrowed as she looked at him with sleep glazed eyes and she tugged his shirt closer to her as her breathing deepened and her eyes closed. He sighed before balancing on one knee and stretching his other leg until he could feel the silky fabric.

It took more time and effort than he would ever admit to, but he was able to successfully pull the other sleeping bag over and get it unzipped. Her unrelenting grip on his shirt wouldn’t allow him to zip the bags together, but at least they were both covered.

Once he was settled he pulled her in closer and allowed himself to bask in the feeling of her in his arms again. After spending nine nights sleeping beside her but feeling further from her then ever before he didn’t want to drift off for fear he’d wake to find it was all a dream.

“Gnight Haish.” She mumbled against his neck before falling asleep again. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight Vera. I love you.” The last three works were a whisper on the wind that went unheard by Vera, but she still snuggled closer to him as if somehow sensing his words. With her steady breathing and the sounds of the fire crackling he allowed himself to drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I fangirl over my own story? Because I kind of am right not...but how freaking cute are they?!!
> 
> And because you all are awesome at keeping me interested, I actually did a bunch more planning today before I get fully sucked into the two books, just finished mapping Ch.115...I'm warning you guys, there are several chapters scattered throughout, and a block of 8-10 chapters around where I'm planning now back to back that are just really really sad. Some paragraphs actually wrote themselves when I was bulleting notes, but damn...I teared up a bit, my friend who reads my stuff message me and 'yelled' at me at how I made her feel 'an emotion' and she wasn't okay with it...but also begged me to please keep planning lol


	58. Testing Control Before Losing Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews guys! Mini-break from reading to get this one out...warning...it gets a little (lot) sad.
> 
> Also, yes, time skip - just know they were super adorable and cuddly during the whole time.

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

The next seventeen days passed mostly uneventfully. They would hike for maybe six to eight hours before finding a spot to camp. Nothing signaled they were on the right path or if they were getting closer or further from the rings. it was downright frustrating.

Vera was however a seasoned pinochle champ by now and had even promised to buy a deck and have them all over to play after they transferred next year. She had felt a quick stab of pain remembering her own rapidly approaching mortality but Hamish’s words to cherish the time we have would echo in her mind each time the thought of her looming death sought to crush her.

She was getting better at Hand and Foot, but it often lasted longer than she was able to stay awake for after their long days. Seriously, how can a card game go four to five hours?! Fynn was mostly in her boat with that one though. Neither of them had the pleasure of functioning on such little sleep like the two wolves did.

She did really enjoy Ligretto the two times she had agreed to play, but she found her competitive nature came out a little strong on that one. Hamish seemed to absolutely love it if his reaction when they’d went to bathe after was any sign, but she worried sometimes she might take it too far in her desire to win. He had tried to convince her her competitiveness was good because both siblings were _just_ as competitive as she was, but she wasn't comfortable with the fast paced game.

She still mostly listened and rested when the others would share stories, not comfortable enough to talk about her past. She would answer any questions the others had about The Order and the other temples, but as soon as it turned more personal, she would clam up.

She was thankful Hamish always seemed to know and would steer the conversation away from her and onto himself. She heard a little more about his family and found herself growing to absolutely detest his parents. Hers at least cut her out of their lives when she was fifteen. His it seemed continued to belittle him over every little decision and almost made it their mission it seemed to tear him down. She'd like to have a few choice words with them if she ever got the chance.

Emilie was able to shift between herself and Charlotte seamlessly with Hamish now and was learning how to bring only parts of Charlotte out to fight and protect herself better without necessarily revealing her wolf. They had just finished eating and Hamish and Emilie stood to start getting ready to head out to train when Vera cleared her throat.

Both looked back at her and she steeled herself for the likely confrontation she was going to get. She watched Hamish’s face take on a guarded look as he watched her pull herself up to full height knowing he wasn’t going to like whatever it was she was about to suggest.

“Emilie, I think it’s time to test your control.” She watched as the girl looked at her in confusion until Hamish growled and took several steps towards Vera. Both of Emilie’s hands came up and she took a few steps back as fear crossed her face.

“Not gonna happen.” Vera turned her stare to him, and it was the first time Emilie saw her in full Grand Magus mode.

“Did I ask for your opinion or your permission? Step back or stay here.” She threatened as he went to block her view of Emilie. He froze mid step as he saw the very real threat she was sending him. If he didn’t back down, she _would_ find a way to to test Emilie's control, even if that meant getting her alone to do it.

“Vera…” She saw the fear on his face, but she’d made her decision.

“I need to know that when we get out of here, you’ll be able to control the ring around myself and the other bearers. You are my responsibility but so is protecting them from you if need be. We could find the ring any day now and escape and I can’t risk you loosing control over Charlotte when we attempt to banish Ishtar.”

She could still see the fear on the blonde’s face, but she nodded hesitantly. Vera nodded in support before turning towards Hamish.

“I trust Tundra to step in _only_ if he needs to. If you can’t promise me that then I need you to stay here. She needs to train with this just like she trained with you. She needs to be able to settle Charlotte on her own when confronted with Order members other than another wolf and her brother.” She watched the war raging on his face before his shoulders dropped and he nodded.

“He won’t interfere.”

“Good, shall we.” She said and allowed Emilie to lead the way. She could hear Hamish trying to calm his breathing as they got closer to the clearing and reached out to clasp his hand.

“Trust her and trust Tundra to keep me safe.” She whispered and allowed her hand to stay in his until they arrived in the clearing and Emilie turned around at the other end.

“Whenever you’re ready Emilie. I want you to let Charlotte out and approach if you feel it’s safe. Trust your wolf to know who matters to you.” Emilie nodded and shook her hands nervously as she started to strip behind the towel.

Vera felt Hamish’s hand rest heavily on her lower back as he angled his body towards her but knowing this could potentially end poorly, she allowed it. She watched as Emilie looked towards Hamish for confirmation before Vera saw her eyes turn silver and her face shift into Charlotte.

Charlotte dropped heavily to all fours and began pacing back and forth as she started growling. Vera felt Hamish’s hand tighten on her back as Charlotte pulled several faints at Vera before shaking her head and continuing to pace.

Vera took a step forward and heard Hamish’s low growl but signaled him to be quiet and stay back. She slowly approached until she was about twenty feet between both of them. Charlotte’s angry huffing growing louder as Vera grew closer.

“Charlotte?” She spoke firmly and the tan wolf snapped her head towards her with a snarl. “I know you’ve been watching me with Emilie and Hamish since you met me. You know that I won’t allow anything to happen to either one of them. I won’t allow The Order to hurt you or Emilie, no matter what happens.

“I have spoken with your sister and experienced your niece’s deaths through her eyes. I will _never_ allow that to happen to another wolf. I have no desire for unlimited power, I had the Vade Maecum for months and asked the Knight’s to destroy what I thought was the original book. I am not your brother-in-law. As long as I still draw breath every wolf and child from a champion will be protected.”

She watched as Charlotte cocked her head before approaching her slowly. Vera heard Tundra’s low snarls and knew he was likely suspecting a trap. “Tundra, enough. I trust you Charlotte; I’m not going to hurt you.” She promised again as the tan wolf stepped closer.

She watched as Charlotte stood back on her hind legs and heard Tundra approaching quickly. Vera turned her back on Charlotte and threw both arms out to block her from the grey wolf. “No!” She ordered glaring him down and Tundra’s snarling face skidded to a stop in front of her.

She heard Charlotte land heavily behind her but only turned when she was sure Tundra wouldn’t come any closer. When she looked back the tan wolf was watching her with her head tilted and slowly approached her still outstretched hand and sniffed.

She watched as tan fur melted away to reveal Emilie’s amazed face before Vera was engulfed in a tight hug. She went completely still as the girl started crying into her shoulder and looked back at Hamish for help. He was watching her with awe as he dressed and though she would usually find joy in that, right now she just needed his help.

The only people that actually hugged her like this this since her parents kicked her out were Ally’s godparents and Hamish. And even from him it was sometimes too much. Having Emilie, someone who was so close to the ago Ally’s would be if she had lived breaking down in her arms wasn’t something she could handle. Not now.

Hamish finally caught sight of her stricken face and realized she was about to lose control. He ran towards Emilie’s towel and tapped her on the shoulder before encouraging her to let Vera go.

“Why don’t you go tell Fynn the good news?” He suggested with false excitement and Emilie looked at him with confusion before she looked over at Vera and saw the reason for his panic. She was shaking and her breathing was coming in shallow breaths.

“Of course, thank you!” She tried for cheery before grabbing her clothes and quickly walking back towards camp. She could hear Hamish trying to get Vera to talk to him before she heard the anguished sob break from her mouth.

Emilie froze at the pain of the cry and found herself crying at Vera’s distress. She had gotten used to the more relaxed, happier Vera since that night at the waterfall. She’d forgotten Hamish said she had a lot of pain in her past. And she’d done something to trigger that pain in her joy of what Vera had given her and her wolf.

Fynn jumped up and rushed over when he saw Emilie crying and she collapsed into his arms.

“What happened Em?” He asked as he walked her over to the fire and draped the sleeping bag he’d been using over her.

“She was able to calm Charlotte and I was just so happy that I couldn’t help it, but she…I hurt her Fynn. How can a hug hurt someone so much? She’s going to hate me now.”

“She’s not going to hate you Em, she adores you.” Fynn hated when she broke down, it brought up too many bad memories. Their mom had always been the one to comfort her, she’d always tell their father she was _‘too pure for this world._ ’ And now that he was older, he understood it. All Emilie wanted to do was help people.

He kept his arm around her as her quiet sobs became sniffles until she finally decided to turn in for the night. He stayed awake for another hour before he heard footsteps approaching and looked up.

Hamish’s face had dried tear tracks and he looked agonized as he held a sleeping Vera in his arms. He nodded to Fynn as he carried her past, pausing for a second to look at him.

“Make sure Emilie knows that what happened wasn’t her fault. She didn’t do anything wrong.” He whispered and pulled Vera closer to him as a quiet whimper escaped the sleeping woman.

Fynn could see the death grip Vera had on his shirt and the blotches of red covering her face telling him she had been heavily crying. He nodded to Hamish and moved to open the tent for him before walking back to the fire and extinguishing it.

He entered his tent to see Emilie awake with wide sad eyes. “Is she okay?”

“She’s sleeping, but you heard Hamish. Whatever happened isn’t on you.”

“But she’s still hurting.” He sighed heavily and sank down beside her.

“I know, Hamish is helping her.”

* * *

As soon as Emilie had left the clearing Hamish cradled Vera's face in his hands and tried to force her to look at him. “Talk to me Vera, what’s going on.” He pleaded as he ran a hand through her hair. “Vera, please.” He tried again when she just continued to stare at nothing as her eyes swam.

He engulfed her in a hug and the second his arms were fully around her the dam broke and she released a heart wrenching sob as she clung to him. Her legs collapsed under the weight of her sorrow and he dropped to his knees before her as she broke down.

Her strangled gasps came quicker between her broken sobs as she tried to pull herself closer to him. He felt her pulling herself to him and sat back on his feet and pulled her into his lap, holding her to him as tight as he could while still allowing her to breathe.

“You’re going to be okay Vera. Everything is going to be okay.” He promised as he rocked her gently. He didn’t know exactly what had triggered Vera’s anguish, but knew it had to be related to her daughter in some way.

He continued to rock her log after his legs had gone numb and her sobs turned to hiccups. She clutched his shirt tightly in her hand as a quiet sob escaped.

“It’s her birthday this week and I don’t even have the option to visit her grave and tell her how much I miss her.” He felt his own tears fall at her admission and he tightened his grip on her.

“She knows Vera. I can take you when we get back if you’d like?” He felt her nod against his chest after several minutes as another quiet sob escaped. “Okay, whenever you’re ready, we’ll go.” He continued rocking her until her breathing shallowed and she fell asleep against his chest.

He picked her up carefully, whispering softly as her grip tightened on his shirt. He knew Emilie had heard Vera’s pained sobs and knew she would be blaming herself for causing them so he made sure Fynn would take care of her.

Hamish carefully laid down with Vera and pulled her tight against him under the covers. “I’ve got you Vera, everything will be okay.” He soothed again as he brushed his fingers through her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been warning, they'll be working through traumas so although she's not really pushing back from him anymore, it won't be all happy. But she took a huge step in this chapter in not only taking comfort from Hamish, but making her desire for him to accompany her to visit Ally's grave in the future.


	59. It’s Why We’re Here Hamish!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys with your amazing reviews keep pulling my muse's attention away from my books and I'm not sure how I feel about it (I mean, I obviously love it, but also like...I really want to focus on my books) :P
> 
> ...I apologize in advance for how this one ends...

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Hamish stayed awake most of the night calming Vera when her brow would furrow, or her breathing would start to turn erratic. He knew the memories from the previous evening would likely turn to haunting dreams for her. He rested but stayed mostly conscious thanks to Tundra monitoring for any sign of distress from the woman in his arms.

It was Tundra who roused Hamish when he heard movement coming from the other tent. He could tell it was Emilie from the steps and looked down at Vera who was sleeping peacefully. He leaned down and kissed her forehead gently before carefully extracting himself.

It was only because she didn’t stir at all that he felt okay leaving the tent. Tundra would continue to listen, but he needed to talk to Emilie before Vera woke up. He looked up and saw the blonde, but her eyes were puffy and he knew she’d been crying for a majority of the night.

He sighed sadly as he approached and the smile she sent him was only a hint of what she normally wore. He guided her away from the fire several paces, far enough that Tundra could still just barely hear Vera but that he could talk without risk of them being overheard by Vera or Fynn.

“Em, what happened last night _wasn’t_ your fault. Vera wouldn’t want to see you blaming yourself…”

“But I just reacted and didn’t think about what it could do to her. I hurt her Hamish.” He could see her eyes beginning to water and he enveloped her in a tight hug.

“No, you didn’t. It was just bad timing. It may not seem like it, but you actually helped her.” He now knew to be alert and pay close attention to Vera this week. He knew whatever day Ally's birthday was would be hell for Vera, but at least he _knew_ now that it was coming. He would be ready and help her through it as much as possible.

“There’s no way me causing her to break down like that helped her in any way.”

“It allowed her to open up about her past and let someone comfort her. She’s been alone almost her entire life Em. She barely lets me in when she’s in pain because she doesn’t know how to accept comfort. The pain of her past will always be present, but she’s letting someone in to help her through it.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No buts. You’re wheedling your way into her heart, you and your brother. I’ve never seen her as happy as she’s been these past weeks. Please don’t take that away from her by changing who you are because you’re scared you hurt her. She doesn’t want to be treated any differently, that will only make things worse for her.”

“Is there anything I can do to help her?” He pulled back from the hug and looked into her big eyes before smiling.

“Just be you. Don’t bring up what happened last night and don’t apologize for being who you are. Continue reaching out and showing her you care.” She reached up and wiped her tears away before smiling widely and nodding.

“Well then, I need to start the coffee and breakfast for the late risers.” Hamish chuckled and rubbed her back before retreating back to their tent. He heard Vera’s breathing starting to change and knew she was beginning to wake up.

He walked in and quietly laid down beside her, letting her turn into his arms and breathe deeply. He stroked her back gently as she woke fully and heard her quiet groan.

“About last night…”

“If you’re about to apologize, please don’t.” He whispered into her hair and felt her sigh against him.

“I miss her.” She whispered softly into his chest and he tightened his hold.

“I know you do and so does she.” He soothed and she let out a shaky breath as she gripped him tighter. He continued to hold her tight as she tried to gather her frayed emotions over the next several minutes. He heard Fynn join Emilie at the fire and the two talked quietly.

“Is Emilie okay?” Vera’s head stayed buried in his chest muffling her question. He tugged her closer and dropped another kiss to her hair before nodding.

“She’s fine Vera, she was just worried about you. We talked this morning. She’s making coffee and breakfast like usual.” He felt her sigh of relief as the tension left her body. “Do you want to join them?” He asked minutes later as the other’s quiet laughter started filling the camp.

“In a minute.” She mumbled and he placed another kiss to her crown just holding her till she was ready. He felt her tilt her head back and looked down at her. The sadness buried in her eyes was clear as day to him, but to the others she would look mostly normal. “Thank you Hamish.”

His hand came up to cup the side of her face and his thumb gently stroked her cheek before kissing her softly. She returned the sweet kiss just as deeply before lack of oxygen became an issue and they pulled back. His hand stayed in her hair holding her forehead to his as they breathed.

“You ready?” He whispered and she nodded pulling back slowly. He watched her closely as they approached the others and sent a grateful smile towards the siblings as they pretended like everything was normal. Emilie handed Vera a cup of coffee with a smile as she approached before giving Hamish his.

It wasn’t immediate but throughout breakfast he watched as the tension in Vera slowly started to fade and was happy to note that her smiles at the end were genuine. He could see the relief in Emilie as well as they got back to their normal by the time they were ready to head out.

They made it about four hours before Vera felt Hamish grab her suddenly. She turned her head to look at him and saw both he and Emilie were on full alert. She allowed Hamish to shift her until she was standing next to Fynn before the two wolves started to undress.

“Watch her.” Hamish ordered Fynn with silver eyes just before Tundra took over and him and Charlotte started stalking forward. Fynn and Vera continued after them slowly not wanting to get separated. They watched as Charlotte melted away and Emilie held out a hand to halt their steps as she ran over to Tundra.

Vera started forward thinking Hamish was in trouble, but Fynn gripped her shoulders and pulled her back. He flinched at her glare but didn’t release his hold.

“Em said to wait. We need to listen to her.” Vera’s irritated glare became fury as he tried to pull her back again.

“Let. Go.” She demanded coolly and when Fynn looked at her face both hands quickly fell from her shoulder as he stepped back. Vera turned and briskly made her way towards Tundra.

“She’ll be fine Hamish, you need to trust her!” Emilie whispered frantically as she watched Tundra’s wide eyes flickering between blue and silver as he stared into the clearing.

“What’s wrong?” Vera questioned as she stepped up and Tundra immediately turned, blocking her sight. Vera eyed the two before turning to Emilie for an answer.

“We think...” Tundra snarled at her, but Emilie turned silver eyes to him with her own growl. “It’s why we’re here Hamish!” And Vera suddenly knew _exactly_ what was behind the grey wolf. She reached out and laid her hand on the wolf’s torso waiting for him to look down at her.

“I’ll be okay.” She assured with a smile and watched the wolf’s panicked eyes shift to blue as Hamish took his place. She held out his clothes and gave Emilie’s to her. She could see the fear in his eyes as he pulled on his pants.

Stepping forward she leaned in and pulled him down to her and kissed him gently. She hadn’t allowed them to do more than sit beside each other and rest against him in front of the other two. They knew with absolute certainty they were together, but Vera didn’t want to offer much to visibly confirm it. Besides she was a private person.

His fear though was bordering on a panic attack and she needed to calm him. She felt his arms tighten around her and pulled back from the kiss to rest her forehead against his. “I’ll be okay.” She wanted to promise him she’d make it through the test, but she wouldn’t risk breaking a promise to him.

He let out a ragged breath and forced himself to pull his arms from around her before he walked her over to the small altar in the middle of the clearing. She could already feel the magic radiating from the altar and realized it must have been what the wolves had sensed.

She looked down at the flames and saw the gold ring so similar to the ones the others wore resting in the center of it. She lifted her hand and looked over towards Hamish’s stricken face that matched Emilie’s. She smiled as she saw the girl clutch Hamish’s hand in a death grip both trying to offer comfort as well as take it.

Fynn stepped up beside his sister and grabbed her other hand nodding at Vera. He would take care of them if something happened. Looking back once more to Hamish’s eyes she tried to relay everything she felt for him in that look before her eyes focused on the flames and she reached in.

Vera felt the cry rip from her throat as the flames began to lick up her arm and agony coursed through her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry again for that one...


	60. Odin's Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter...I wish I could say it would be the last but...I have a weakness for them. Thank you those that reviewed last chapter, made my thanksgiving more bearable. It's actually my favorite holiday (only one not focused on giving/getting something) and we usually have 20+ friends & family, but with covid (and a crap immune system) obviously I wasn't about that. So, thank you!!

CHAPTER SIXTY

She could hear Hamish yelling for her but was relying on Emilie to try and hold him back. She gripped the altar tighter with her free hand as her legs threatened to cave beneath the pain.

 _“Are you worthy of my ring?”_ A deep voice boomed in her head and her eyes tightened as her nails dug deeper into the stone altar.

 _‘No. But I need it to protect those I care about from Ishtar.’_ She couldn’t lie to this being, refused to. If there was _any_ way she would pass this test she knew it wouldn’t be through bluffing.

_“You say you do not seek power, but I can sense the magical cancer within you. You performed the Fors Factorum...”_

_‘I did what had to be done to save everyone.’_ Vera interrupted sharply. 

_“And doomed yourself in the process.”_

_‘I will bear the consequences of my actions.’_

_“And if this power kills you?”_

A pained howl tore from her lips as the flames began to spread across her neck and chest. She heard Tundra’s furious snarl and Charlotte’s pained whimper before she felt Hamish catch her as she fell.

 _“And if it kills him?”_ She felt the Odin’s focus switch to Hamish,

 _‘Don’t you dare even_ think _about touching him!’_ She snarled threateningly as she pushed through the agonized haze that was encircling her mind.

_“You do have strength and determination to keep those you care about safe. But do you understand? Your determination may allow you to survive the banishment, but it will accelerate your cancer, even now it grows. You will still die.”_

_‘I know.’_

_“You will lose_ everything _if you use my ring.”_ Odin implored her to understand the sentencing the ring would deliver.

_‘But they’ll survive.’_

_“Are you sure of that?”_ She felt the pain at the words and a broken sob ripped from her at the thought of Hamish dying.

 _‘He has to.’_ She could feel the pressure shifting in her mind as if Odin was pacing. _'Please!'_

With that last desperate plea, the agony was suddenly gone.

It was almost as if someone had deafened her senses. She couldn’t feel Hamish trying to shake her out of her trance, nor his pained pleas for her to fight. She couldn’t see his tear stained face hovering over hers as he wiped the blood that was dripping from her nose and ears.

All she felt was the burning metal in her hand as it slowly cooled. The heavy weight kept her hand pined to the ground as she stared unseeing past Hamish.

 _“For_ them _to survive Vera,_ you _must survive.”_ The voice was the same, but the words were soft, almost desperate and broke her from her trance.

With a loud gasp she shot up from Hamish’s lap and started coughing, flecks of blood splashing across the ground. Her breath was ragged and hoarse as she felt Hamish hug her from behind and drop his head to her shoulder.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” She choked out as she clenched his hand with the one not holding the ring. She turned her head, ignoring the shooting pain of her muscles and saw Emilie’s weak relieved smile as she laid before her bleeding heavily. Fynn was trying to heal her, but it wasn’t doing anything.

“No...no, help her!” She tried to push Hamish away, but his grip tightened.

“Charlotte’s already healing me Vera, I’ll be fine.” But all Vera could see was the girl's blood coating the ground beneath her.

“Hamish, _please_!” She pleaded as she tried to pull out of his grasp. It seemed to be enough to knock him out of his panic because he released his grip and dashed over to Emilie.

“Oh god, Emilie I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, Tundra was trying to get to her. I should’ve known better than to try and stop him.” She patted his hand to show she wasn’t upset with him. She knew about Tundra’s promise. Emilie knew that to Tundra, Vera was all that mattered and she had tried to stop him from getting to her.

When she was fully healed, she pushed herself up and accepted the clothes Fynn was holding for her before looking back towards Vera. She was staring into her open palm and Emilie could see the gold ring resting in the center.

She watched as Vera looked towards Hamish as he quickly dressed and saw the anguish on her face before closing her fingers tightly around the band. She watched as she pulled her mask over the anguish and took on a determined smile by the time Hamish turned around and dropped back down beside her.

“Can I see your chain?” Vera asked and Hamish pulled the metal over his head and draped it around hers. He pulled her hair out from under it as she unclasped the link and slid the ring on. “Now we just need to find our way out of here.” She said with a relieved smile.

Hamish helped her stand slowly, and they all watched the pain flash across her face. There weren’t any burns surprisingly, but whatever she went through obviously did damage. The blood had stopped running from her nose and ears, but the crimson smears were still there.

The second she was fully upright, it felt as if the world suddenly started spinning. She stumbled and landed heavily against Hamish’s torso with a quiet shaky curse. Opening her eyes when she felt the dizziness fade, she was shocked to see they were no longer in the same clearing.

Her shock pulled the others attention and Emilie walked around the new, smaller clearing. She took careful note of Vera’s pale face as she walked back.

“I don’t feel the magic anymore and it looks like every other clearing we’ve stayed at. I think we should stay here tonight and start heading back in the morning,” Vera agreed without putting up any fight. She felt like she had in the early days when she’d been going through withdrawal.

Having a god, or at least the equivalent of a god, mess with your mind really did a number on one's body. She allowed Hamish to carefully set her down as he went to help set up the tents with the others. Odin’s words continued to play on repeat in her mind while they worked.

 _'For_ them _to survive,_ you _must survive.'_ But even if she survived the ritual, they both knew she would die shortly after. He’d even said as much. She watched Emilie swat Hamish’s hand away with a laugh when he went to help her and found herself smiling. He may only see her as a little sister, but she would make sure he survived.

She knew his fellow Knight’s would try to help, but she couldn’t trust them to make sure he took care of himself after she died. They wouldn’t understand what she meant to him, but those two did. Emilie and Fynn wouldn’t let him crumble. They would force him to keep living his life.

She watched as Hamish started digging through her bag before coming over with a couple baby wipes. He sat down behind her so she could lean against him and pulled her hair to the side so he could start cleaning the now dried blood.

“Are you actually okay?” He asked kissing her shoulder as he cleaned the other side. She nodded and allowed herself to lean more heavily against him.

“Odin wanted to make sure I was worthy and knew the risks of using the ring, it was a test.” His arm tightened and pulled her more firmly between his legs. “I fully believe I'm going to survive the banishment Hamish. But I need to know that you’re going to be able to focus and do what needs to be done if something should happen to me.”

He dropped his head to her shoulder and drew in a ragged breath as she pulled the wipe from his hands. She wiped the dried blood from under her nose and turned sideways so she could look at him.

“I can’t have Tundra coming out and attacking people in his attempt to get to me Hamish. I need you to be able to stay in control and play the role of a disciple in front of the rest of The Order members. We can’t lose the progress we’ve made on their views of the wolves. If Tundra comes out and attacks or threatens anyone or they found out that we are involved in any way, everything we’ve accomplished over the last year will be erased.”

“I know.”

“That means that if I collapse or start bleeding at any point during the ritual, you need to stay in your place and continue the banishment. You can’t break and try to come to me like you did just now. I need you to promise me Hamish, this is too important. Ishtar _needs_ to be banished and I won’t be able to wield the ring longer than the nine days it takes, so we can’t screw up.”

Hamish looked into her eyes and saw the desperation swimming there. He let her demand roll to Tundra and felt his pained promise to stay back before opening his eyes again.

“We promise Vera. You don’t have to worry about us, just focus on your part and making it through.” She studied his eyes trying to detect any hint of a lie but found none. Both eyes closed as she leaned up and claimed his lips in a sweet kiss.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she relaxed against his chest and let its steady rise and fall coax her into oblivion. Hamish stayed wrapped around Vera as Emilie and Fynn quietly made the fire in front of him, knowing he wouldn't want to move now that Vera was asleep. His arms didn’t move when Emilie wrapped his sleeping bag around Vera and himself. His haunted eyes just stared into the flames before him as he focused on her breathing to reassure himself and Tundra that she was still alive and with them.

Emilie signaled Fynn to hold back for a bit and sat quietly beside Hamish and laid her head on his shoulder. He felt the weight and finally broke his gaze from the fire to look down at her as she stared straight ahead.

“She’s going to be okay Hamish.” She whispered quietly but with conviction.

“I can’t lose her.”

“You won’t.” Hamish looked back down at her at the certainty in her tone.

“How can you be so sure?” Emilie raised her head and looked at him as if it were obvious.

“Because she knows.” He continued watching her not understanding. “She knows what losing her will do to you. She won’t allow it.”

“Life isn’t that simple Em.”

“I didn’t say it was simple. I’m saying that _she_ will not allow this banishment to take her from you. She will do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen. She knows losing her will crush you and that’s unacceptable to her.”

“How do you…”

“Her face when you aren’t watching. When you were changing, I saw her watching you. It was obvious that the fear on her face wasn’t for her death but for what it would mean for you. I watched her make the decision that she would make it through _for you_. She’s going to fight like hell to see to it and we’re going to be there to help.”

Emilie turned her determined gaze away from Vera and back towards him. She wasn’t allowing him to argue her words. Vera made the decision to make it through, so she would, end of story. As she laid her head back on his shoulder Fynn came and sat down on his other side.

“We won’t let her down Hamish.” He promised and Hamish felt himself believing them. She would make it, she had to.

Hamish stayed where he was as Vera slept in his arms barely stirring. Even when Emilie brought back several rabbits Charlotte had tracked down, she didn't even flinch. Fynn prepared them quietly and meticulously went about making sure they were cooked to perfection.

When they were finished Hamish gently roused Vera from her heavy slumber. Emilie turned her _‘aww’_ into a poorly disguised cough when Vera snuggled further into him with a happy sleepy sigh.

“Vera, dinner’s ready. Come on, you’ve got to wake up.” Hamish tried again as he ran his hand up and down her back.

“M’not hungry.” She mumbled in complaint and shoved her face further into his chest before humming softly. He chuckled but couldn’t hide the cringe knowing she was going to be embarrassed when she finally woke up completely.

“Emilie caught some rabbits and Fynn just finished cooking them. They made you a plate and everything.” He felt her stiffen and by Emilie’s sudden laugh he assumed she just opened one eye to take in her surroundings.

He felt her clear the sleep from her throat as she pushed off of him and caught the faintest hint of a blush on her cheeks as she turned and grabbed the plate Fynn was holding for her. She was about to move to sit beside him, but he pulled her back until her back was resting against his chest.

“Hamish.” It was both a protest and a warning, but he just pulled her a little closer.

“I’m cold and you’ll take the blanket, this way we’re both warm.” He could feel her coiled stomach muscles telling him she was about to move again, and he turned his head so his lips were against her ear. “Please stay, just for tonight at least.” There was a slight possibility Emilie might have heard, but he didn't care. He couldn't let her go just yet. And it seemed neither sibling was paying any attention to either of them, both too busy making up their own plates.

When he felt her muscles relax and she allowed herself to lean heavily against him again he dropped a quick kiss to her shoulder. Fynn turned and handed Hamish a plate and after Vera’s warning that he better not drop anything on her, he started eating. _Very_ carefully.

“This is really good Fynn.” Fynn beamed at Vera’s compliment as he sat down with his own plate and started eating.

“Em and dad always handled breakfast when we were younger, and I always helped mum with dinner. The routine just stuck with us after so many years.” Hamish felt Vera tense thinking she’d just brought down the mood, but when both siblings just continued eating and started happily reminiscing about their past, she let herself relax against him again.

He felt her breathing starting to grow heavier as they continued talking and leaned closer to her ear. “Ready for bed?” She nodded against him and allowed him to help her up, wincing slightly as her sore muscles protested.

Hamish watched as Vera removed her shirt and bra with another wince before he moved forward and encouraged her to lay down on her stomach. She flinched when his hands settled on her bare back and he paused.

“What’s wrong?”

“It's just, I’m sore and tired Hamish and they’re right outside…what?” She glared up at him as he chuckled and bent over to kiss her lightly. When his lips were over her ear, he whispered to her.

“I'm just going to give you a massage, I swear.” When she nodded her acceptance, he gently kneaded the tight muscles drawing little _‘mmms’_ out of her that he was mostly sure Emilie wouldn’t be able to hear. He didn’t stop the gentle pressure until he was positive she was completely asleep.

Carefully pulling the top sleeping bag over them, he turned towards her and watched her face as he gently trailed his fingers over her bare back. He set up one last protective enchantment and felt her shift into him until her nose was pressed into his chest breathing deeply. She gave a happy sigh in her sleep and he wrapped his arm around her as he drifted off beside her.

* * *

How I picture the clearing and altar to look like, just add the flames pictured on top of the altar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Test completed successfully...if she failed, she would not have made it out unless Odin chose to release her. Was that a bit of foreshadowing happening with the banishment...um...don't ask us questions...but they're both so adorable <3


	61. You Won’t Hurt Me, Hamish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks to Chinadoll00 and Simonlovescats (and blue_order_and_k who actually started talking to me on Instagram over a reaction I had to a picture they shared and found out I wrote this and said how much they loved it) for pulling me back and making me feel guilty enough to force myself to sit down and write this one out. I definitely got a bit sidetracked this weekend and had no desire to write or even plan this story (even planning in my head which is a first). 
> 
> Trigger Warning - Read the tags

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

Hamish woke early the next morning to Vera still sleeping deeply in his arms. Usually he’d get up and help Emilie with breakfast, but after the fear of almost losing her yesterday, he had no desire to part from her earlier than he needed to. 

He heard the others wake and go about their typical morning routine, making sure to stay extra quiet. He was surprised when the smells of breakfast didn’t cause Vera to stir at all, her steady breathing remaining constant.

“Hamish?” Emilie whispered long after they’d finished their breakfast and there was still no sign of either one of them.

“She’s still sleeping. I want to let her rest after yesterday.” Dealing with Odin had taken more out of her than any of them realized. She seemed to be mostly okay, but she obviously needed rest.

“Okay, Fynn and I are going to try to find some water. Do you think we should stay here another night?” He looked down at Vera asleep on his chest still and nodded.

“I think it’s probably for the best even if she won’t like it. It’s already getting a bit late to head out anyways.” The other two agreed and went off in search of some water.

It was maybe an hour later that he started to feel Vera waking. He slowly trailed his fingers along her spine as she was pulled into full consciousness.

“Are the others still asleep?” It was uncommon for her to wake up and not hear at least Emilie stirring. She felt Hamish’s soft caress turn to gentle kneading and let out a hum of pleasure.

“They’re out looking for water, we’re going to stay here another night.” He felt her tense beneath his fingers and brought his other hand to her lower back to work the tired muscles.

“We need to start heading back.”

“We will, but you also need to take care of yourself. You clearly needed the rest after yesterday and we all agreed.” He could feel her wanting to resist but as his fingers worked over a large knot, she sank against him with a pleasured moan.

“ _One_ day.” She allowed and an unwilling purr escaped as he hit a sensitive spot in the middle of her back, just to the side of her spine. His fingers froze for a second before returning to the spot and applying more pressure while rotating his fingers.

“Oh god.” It was just a whisper, but Hamish heard it and felt her nails bite into his side. He hummed slightly and brought his other hand up to mirror the spot on the other side of her spine.

“Don’t.” She whispered just before he applied pressure. He lifted his fingers off her back slightly and felt her nails biting into his side harder as a muffled whimper slipped from her lips.

“What’s wrong?” He slid both hands lower and to her sides, thumbs gently stroking her ribs. He felt her shiver against him and take a deep breath.

“They could hear.” His worry shifted back to the growing lust at her response. He hadn’t misinterpreted her response. He’d found another weak point and she was trying to dampen her growing arousal because she thought they would be overhead.

His fingers slowly migrated back up to the points on her back and he felt her tremble against him as he skipped over them. “I could cast a silencing incantation, just on us and have Tundra listen for the others?” He offered applying the slightest hint of pressure to the points and earning another choked whimper from her.

He could now smell how aroused she was in the small tent and it was intoxicating. He felt himself growing impossibly hard under her as she shifted slightly and clamped his hands on her sides holding her still.

“If you don’t want to do this, I need you to stop moving before I can’t stop.” His fingers tightened as she involuntarily jerked slightly at his raspy tone. “ _Vera_!” She froze and pushed herself up enough to see into his dark eyes.

“I need you to tell me right now if you want this.” Her head cocked to the side debating with herself. They had agreed to not use the silencing incantation or be intimate near the other two. But the others technically weren’t here right now and if he listened for them, they could remove the incantation and stop before they got back.

She felt him twitch beneath her as she bit her lip in contemplation and unconsciously shifted until she was directly above him and let out a small mewl in pleasure at the friction. He jerked beneath her and let her name out in a growl as he barely restrained himself from flipping her beneath him.

She allowed herself to lay back on him and brought her lips to his ear. “Cast the incantation, but the _second_ you hear them, we stop.” Her answer given, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it up. Just before she got it over his head she bit down lightly against his earlobe and pulled before releasing it and fully removed his shirt.

She heard him growl and mutter the incantation before he flipped her beneath him and attacked her bare breasts. She threw her head back and arched into him further with a low groan as he bit down gently.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down into her roughly as she dragged her nails down his side drawing a deep groan and thrust from him. He trailed his hands down her arms from her shoulders to her wrists and lifted both hands to the side of her head as he continued his onslaught on her chest and neck.

When Hamish hit a particularly sensitive spot, Vera tried to lift her hand to thread it though his hair and hold him there. He felt her trying to lift her hand and knowing what she wanted, he tightened his grip on her wrists, and applied more pressure to the spot below her breast.

He felt her breathing accelerate as he continued to torture the spot and felt her hands try to lift again as her hips rose off the ground to meet his. He hummed deeply as he increased his grip and roughly thrust against her with a low growl.

 _“No!”_ He immediately stopped and pulled back at her cold desperate tone and saw her eyes were blown wide. Her chest was rising rapidly, but not from lust like he had thought. She hadn’t tried to seek friction; she was trying to get out from under him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He apologized as he released her wrists and moved off of her. The second her wrists were released she brought both hands together and sat up.

When she couldn’t move her wrists or escape from under him it was as if she’d been transported back to that horrible night. She had even tried to throw him off of her with magic, but nothing happened, and she’d felt that same helplessness creep into her.

His grip tightening to painful levels as he thrust against her when she was trying to get away forced the _‘no’_ from her dry mouth. She rubbed at her sore wrists as she tried to separate past from present. She knew Hamish would _never_ force himself on her, he always followed her lead.

Still, when his hand landed on her bare back, she flinched from his touch. He quickly drew it back as if he’d been burnt and apologized again. She took a deep breath and looked down at her red wrists, they would likely bruise.

“Do you want me to go?” His concerned voice brought her fully back to the present and she closed her eyes at the emotions that burst into her. She was angry at herself for allowing such a violent reaction to him pinning her.

He’d done it before and it was fine, even their first time when he’d done it’d been fine, good even. But it was different this time. He’d always pinned her with her hands, and she’d been able to grab him back and hold him to her. She had never felt trapped before.

He was the first one she’d felt comfortable being under and this was the first time since that night anyone had ever pinned her by her wrists. She never wanted to make Hamish doubt himself or let him think he’d hurt her or tried to force himself on her and now based off of her reaction that was likely exactly what was going through his mind.

She was broken from her thoughts when she heard him unzipping the sleeping bag so he could crawl out. Her hand quickly snapped out and grabbed his upper arm halting his retreat.

“Wait, just...wait.” She couldn’t let him leave like this, she needed to try to explain somehow. “I don’t…I didn’t like...” She growled at her inability to articulate what she wanted to say. Closing her eyes to focus she took a deep steadying breath and opened them again to meet his haunted gaze.

“It’s fine, just don’t do that again.” She took another steadying breath and brought both wrists up in front of him to show him exactly what she meant.

“Please heal them.” She could see purple starting to creep into the swollen skin around the bones of her wrists and she closed her eyes at the memories it caused. Memories of staring at the colored marks for weeks as broken snippets of that haunting night flashed through her mind.

Hamish was devastated over what he’d done and uncovered. He couldn’t be positive of course, but her reaction was telling, and a piece of the puzzle clicked in place again. She had been so tense that first time they'd slept together, but only _after_ he had laid her under him.

It could also explain why she had such a hard time believing he actually cared for her in the beginning. Why her reaction to the man in the bakery that day had been so visceral. Why she always had the habit of smelling her drinks before taking a sip. It could also explain at least part of the reason she had such a hard time letting people in, though he suspected most of her past played a role with that one.

His heart broke for her at the realization and couldn’t suppress the hurt that even for a moment she felt trapped by him. Thought he would ever force himself on her. And yet, he hadn’t been reading her right. She _had_ tried to escape, and he’d just trapped her further.

When she held out her wrists to him and asked him to heal them, he looked down and saw the hints of bruises forming. He felt his eyes watering at the knowledge that this time, he had actually hurt her.

He kept his gaze down and pierced his finger before carefully cupping one of her wrists and healing the marks. He cradled the second one and repeated the action, before gently placing a kiss to the center and closing his eyes.

Vera shivered as she felt him kiss her before she felt wetness on her wrist. She carefully pulled her arm back and lifted his head to look at her. She saw the anguish in his eyes and knew he had guessed what had happened and was beating himself up over what he’d unknowingly done.

“Please don’t, you didn’t do anything wrong Hamish.” His look of disbelief hurt her, and she increased her grip as he went to turn away from her.

“Look at me.” She demanded when his eyes closed. He opened his eyes and the hurt in them was drowning her. She pulled him forward and kissed him, but he remained unresponsive. She broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against his.

“It was a long time ago Hamish. You just caught me off guard. I’m fine, I promise.” Her hold increased on his head in her desperation for him to understand he didn’t hurt her. She tilted her head to kiss him again, but he still wouldn’t respond.

She broke the kiss with a broken plea. “Hamish _please!_ It was years ago.” Her fear was starting to rise at his inaction. Maybe he wasn’t just beating himself up over this? Maybe he was realizing just how broken she was and no longer wanted anything to do with her.

At that thought she quickly pulled away from him and turned towards her bag to find a shirt. She could feel tears starting to fill her eyes and she brought a hand up to wipe them before they could fall.

“I hurt you.” He whispered and she froze in her search before turning around to face him.

“No…”

“Yes. You felt trapped and I only made it worse…”

“No, Hamish…”

“Yes Vera, if you didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have stopped.”

“But you _did_ stop!” She grabbed one of his hands in hers and brought the other to the side of his face. “As soon as I said something, you stopped. You wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Vera…”

“No Hamish. You listen to me. There is not a single part of me that thinks _you_ will hurt me. The only thing I learned just now is that my wrists are a trigger and I’m lucky I was with you when I found out. I don’t know if someone else would’ve stopped, but you did. I trust you Hamish. Please don’t let something that happened in my past ruin what we have.”

He searched her eyes and found she was being completely truthful. He hesitantly reached out watching for any sign she was uncomfortable. Her gaze remained steadfast as his hands landed on her waist and he gently pulled her into him.

When she was fully encompassed in his lap, she brought her arms around his shoulders and started placing open mouthed kisses along his neck and shoulder. He slowly allowed himself to wrap his arms around her waist, but his grip remained lose.

“You won’t hurt me.” She whispered as she brought her mouth to his and kissed him deeply. “I trust you Hamish, now trust me. You won’t hurt me.” She held his eyes imploring him to believe her before kissing him again.

She felt his arms tighten as he started kissing her back and she let out a relieved breath before kissing him harder. She could feel him starting to stir under her again and she rocked her hips encouragingly as she brought her nails to rake through his hair down along the backside of his ear that always set him off.

He pulled her into him harder and her head dropped back with a pleasured hum at the friction. His lips began attacking her neck drawing little gasps as her hips rocked against him. She pulled his lips back towards hers and guided him onto his back.

She pushed herself up and pulled his pants and boxers down before removing the rest of her clothing. He was still being too gentle for her, to scared and unwilling to act. She reached forward and grabbed his length and slowly stroked him before starting to lean in to take him into her mouth.

His hand gripped her hair suddenly and held her back. She looked up and was shocked to see confusion in his eyes. She tried to lower herself again, but again he stopped her by pulling her head up with her hair. She huffed before sitting up and looking at him.

“What?” She asked with a slight flush to her cheeks. She’d only gone down on maybe two or three guys in her life and only when they’d insisted. It was her way to shut them up and get them in the mood so she could get what she wanted, a quick fuck. They hadn’t complained about what she’d done, but men were usually easy to please. Maybe she wasn’t doing it right?

“What are you doing?” She stared at him like he was an idiot.

“Um, I thought that was fairly obvious…”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I know what you were doing, but why were you doing it? You’ve never shown any desire in the past, which is fine with me by the way. What I want to know is why now all of a sudden.”

She felt the blush increase on her face as he watched her with knowing eyes. Embarrassed she went to turn away from him, but he sat up and quickly dragged her on top of him.

“Don’t do something you don’t enjoy because you think you should. Besides…” He brought his fingers to the two spots along her spine that had started all this and dug them in deeply causing a panted moan to rip from her as her nails raked down his side. “I would _much_ rather be buried inside of you bringing you pleasure at the same time.”

“Oh god.” She gasped and rocked her hips in an effort to satisfy the ache, it wasn't enough. She pushed herself up just enough so she could line him up before sinking down against him with a low moan. She leaned back in and captured his lips hungrily as she rocked.

She felt him start to roll her over before stopping himself and she pulled back enough to look in his eyes. “You _won’t_ hurt me Hamish.” She promised as she hooked her leg around his and rolled so he was on top of her. “Don’t hold yourself back now that you know. Please.”

He resumed the slow pace, but it was hesitant again, too careful. She growled in frustration and pulled his head away from her to look in his eyes again. “Stop treating me like I’m going to break and fuck me already.” He could see the need swimming in her eyes laced with irritation.

“Are you sure.” She rolled her eyes before glaring up at him.

“I’m about two seconds away from taking care of it myself if you don’t get to it.” His eyes darkened immediately at the image and his hips jerked roughly into her. _‘Yess’_ He brought his lips to her neck and sucked heavily on her pulse point earning that desperate moan he craved.

His pace quickened at her intoxicating sounds of pleasure and he felt her tightening around him. She pulled away from his lips and forced his eyes to watch her as she completely surrendered beneath him. It was enough to pull him over with her and he collapsed on top of her breathing deeply.

When he recovered, he went to shift to her side so he wasn’t crushing her, but her arms tightened and held him to her.

“In a minute.” She purred against his neck before kissing it. He understood what she was doing, and he fell for her even harder. She was making it absolutely clear to him that she didn’t feel trapped beneath him. She was showing him that she _wanted_ to be there.

He pulled his head back and captured her lips in a sweet deep kiss. They kept their caress gentle so when Hamish heard the others talking a while later, they were able to tear themselves away from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew...longer than I was expecting, but I actually really like this chapter...hopefully you all do as well.


	62. Caught In The Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for the reviews! This one had a bit of everything, but mostly humor. 
> 
> Also, exciting, I am starting to plan Ch. 125 (after I finish this chapter). But I actually wrote out a huge chunk of 123 yesterday (why there wasn't an update) because my muse apparently wasn't satisfied with notes...I LOVE the chapter and well, there is a slim possibility (no promises!) that chapter may lead to a spin off of an alternate possibility if things had gone differently...but only after I finish this beast...which based off chapter number planned, and still need to plan with the current word count...somehow I think this will be more than 300K words... O_O

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

Hearing the others approaching, they both quickly dressed, and Vera went to exit the tent. Hamish just barely stopped her in time and pulled her back to him. She looked over at him in confusion, but as soon as she saw his face it was obvious why he’d stopped her from leaving.

One look at his swollen lips, lightly marked neck and mused hair would be enough to tell the others they’d at the very least been making out heavily. She brought her fingers to her own lips and could feel hers were swollen as well. She quickly instructed him how to perform the incantation she’d used in the past and adjusted his hair as he did hers.

He took a deep breath as she turned to exit again, knowing the other two were in the camp by now. Just as her finger landed on the zipper, he stopped her again. She turned slightly irritated eyes to him and raised a brow at the hint of lust she could see.

“I can smell you.” He whispered and she almost chuckled.

“We’ve had this conversation before Hamish.” He flushed slightly and brought her closer to whisper in her ear.

“That’s not what I meant. If we walk out of here right now, Emilie will take one whiff and know _exactly_ what we were doing.”

Vera pulled back abruptly in mortification before dropping down to her bag and pulling out baby wipes. She went to drop her pants to clean herself but saw he was still watching and flushed.

“Turn around!” She whispered with a glare as he started chuckling but raised his hands and turned. Vera had just started removing her pants when Emilie’s voice broke through the tent.

“We were able to find a swimming hole about a mile away if either of you would like to clean up.” Her voice seemed innocent enough, but Vera’s horror filled eyes met Hamish’s guilty ones.

“I _hate_ you.” She growled as she fixed her pants and pulled out her shower bag, leaving the tent without another look. She forced herself to meet Emilie’s eyes that had just widened into saucers and asked her which way. Without bothering to look back and see if Hamish was following, she stalked towards the water clearly irritated.

Emilie’s wide eyes turned to Hamish as he finished zipping the tent back up. As soon as he’d seen Emilie’s eyes widen _after_ Vera exited the tent, he knew she hadn’t known they had just slept together when she’d told them about the water. But it was obvious she knew now after standing close enough to Vera.

“Quiet you, not a word.” He pointed at her with a stern look and glanced towards an oblivious Fynn on the other side of the camp. Emilie’s mouth snapped shut and he watched her struggle to contain the amusement as she held both hands up in a _'Who, me? I would never.'_ gesture. He groaned as he started following after Vera.

Vera was absolutely mortified for getting caught in the act. Sure, she knew the other two suspected they were sleeping together, but to actually have proof. And for the proof to be because of her scent? She shivered in embarrassment as she sped up her pace hearing Hamish’s footfalls.

“Vera?” She growled slightly, but didn’t respond, just crossed her arms in front of her. If she had known ahead of time that they would be found out because of her, she never would have agreed to sleeping together where she couldn’t clean up properly.

And now her disciple knows exactly what she smells like after having sex. Her face turned beat red in embarrassment as she jerked away from his touch.

“Vera, come on. It’s _fine."_ Hamish would have preferred not to have gotten caught, but it didn’t bother him too much. Vera on the other hand, he knew was having problems with it. He knew she was uncomfortable with showing affection towards him in front of the others, but this was a whole other level.

They hadn’t gotten caught during a light make out session, they’d been caught having sex. And though it was _after_ the fact and they were fully clothed by that time, it didn’t change the fact that it was crystal clear they had just slept together by her scent. He had thought it would go away with her incantation, but it didn’t.

At his declaration that it was fine she turned towards him with eyes wide with embarrassment and irritation. She opened her mouth to respond before growling again and turning to continue down the path.

“She won’t say anything, not even to Fynn…”

“Oh, well that makes it all okay.” He watched as her hand came up and wasn’t sure if she tried to perform magic or not, but the movement was in direct contrast to her words.

“I’m sorry, okay? I thought the incantation would erase the smell. It always seemed to in the past.” She froze briefly before she continued walking. He noticed she looked less upset and her pace had slowed. He walked up to her side and saw the blush was still heavy.

“We took too long to cast it.” She whispered and her eyes refused to meet his. Her blush deepened as she cleared her throat. “Marks and make-up, it doesn’t matter how long you wait, but…” She cleared her throat again before continuing with even more discomfort. “Biological _residue_ won’t be removed once it has a chance to dry. It's some safety precaution designed into the spell apparently.”

He wasn’t sure if it was because of how flustered she was, how uncomfortable the conversation was, getting caught or the whole thing but he couldn’t help his burst of hysterical laughter. Her flushed face turned towards him as her eyes widened and she shoved him.

“No! It’s not _funny_ Hamish! She’s not your disciple and she didn’t smell _your_ arousal. This is worse than how I imagine it feels if your parent’s walk in on you.” She watched as he cringed, and her brow raised.

“Trust me on this one, it’s _definitely_ not worse than that. I’m not sure who was more traumatized by that event, me, the girl I was with at the time or my mother. Oh god, and then she told my Aunt, and my cousin happened to overhear, and he of course passed it to the other cousins and my Uncle found out. I think that to this day if I saw any of them, including my Uncle, they would still woof at me.”

Vera’s steps had grown slower as he continued until they were both standing still, and his face started to flush as he realized what he’d said. She looked both horrified and deeply amused.

“Woof?” She couldn’t stop the smile as his flush deepened and he brought a hand behind his head in discomfort.

“Um, she may have walked in on us when we were doggy style.” Vera’s burst of laughter couldn’t be stopped even as she felt a jolt of arousal at the thought. His face flushed deeper and she reached out to rest her hand on his upper arm in an attempt to steady herself from the heavy laughter.

“Laugh all you want, but it still haunts me to this day.” He was definitely embarrassed, he hadn’t meant to tell the whole story, it just kind of came out. But it was worth it to see her laughing so freely.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, that is worse.” She looked at him calculatingly before biting her lip gently. “Is that why we’ve never done it?” His eyes widened and he stepped away from her at the image.

“I _really_ don’t want to risk flashing back to my mother walking in while I’m fucking you from behind. Besides, if you were to ever meet my cousins, I’m sure they wouldn’t just stop at teasing me. Every girl they’ve met they always woofed at her too and it always caused issues between us. The whole ordeal just completely ruined the position for me.”

“How many gir…” She cut her question off quickly and flushed at his raised, slightly amused brow before clearing her throat and stepping forward till she was flush against him. She bit her lip again and tilted her head before leaning up towards his ear to whisper. “I can handle a bit of teasing. If you ever decide you're up for it.”

It took him a second to understand her words before a wave of arousal swept through him. By the time he opened his eyes she was already walking towards the water again chuckling lightly. He quickly caught up to her and pulled her into him roughly before dropping his mouth to her ear.

“The _second_ we’re back in that hotel room I am taking you up on your offer.” He promised as he ground into her backside again. She gave a throaty chuckle around a moan before turning in his arms.

“Noted.” She purred and pulled him forward by his shirt collar to kiss him hard. Hamish dropped his hands to her backside and pulled her tighter against him and she let out a low hum. He started backing her up and skimmed his hands up her sides to palm her breasts drawing another moan from her.

Just as her back hit the tree he heard Emilie’s peel of laughter and tore his mouth from Vera’s earning a growl from the woman. He dropped his head to her shoulder taking deep breaths to calm his arousal.

“I can hear Emilie, which means she’ll hear us.” And there it was. Vera immediately pushed him away from her and straightened her clothes before she walked towards the bag she dropped. He was still leaning against the tree when she started walking further down the path.

“Are you going to stay here by yourself or do you plan on joining me?” She didn’t bother turning around to see if he understood, her sultry tone left no room for misinterpretation.

She heard his growl before she felt his hands land on her waist and turn her around, claiming her lips roughly. He lifted her off the ground and started walking quickly down the path towards the water pausing every now and then to force himself to _not_ pin her against a tree.

Vera slipped her hand down the back of his shirt and clawed up his back as she bit into his lower lip. Her back slammed into the tree and his teeth sank into her shoulder to stifle his moan. He felt her legs tighten around him as she rocked herself against him before releasing a heavy pant.

“Can you still hear them?” Vera’s breathy question was accompanied by her tongue sliding along the shell of his ear before she bit into his neck lightly. His immediate thrust was met with twin gasps before he forced himself to pull away enough to listen.

She continued devouring his neck and rocking her hips into his as he tried to focus. He felt her nails reach behind his ear again and the growl tore from him as he pushed into her roughly.

“I can’t focus when you do that Vera.” He growled before panting heavily as she did it again. " _Vera!”_ He tried to warn as he ground into her and she released a low satisfied moan. He caught her hand in his as she went to do it again and pushed it against the tree.

“They might hear us.” He warned before he realized what he was doing and went to pull his hand away. She immediately threaded her fingers through his and held him there before pulling herself away from his neck.

His hips rocked into hers when he saw the molten pools staring back at him. She leaned forward and captured his lips to muffle her moans and guided the hand trapped in hers to her breast before releasing it and brought her nails up to his ear again.

“Don’t care, need you.” She panted before pulling him in again. He growled around her lips before he set her down just long enough to remove their pants. He pinned her back up against the tree and sank into her drawing out her throaty gasp of pleasure. “Faster.” She ordered encouraging his brutal pace.

Hamish heard her whimper and crushed her lips with his in an effort to muffle their moans as they crested. He chased Vera’s lips when her head fell back as she came and was just barely able to swallow her deep moan.

Her nails piercing his skin between his shoulders as she tightened around him pulled him over with her. He continued kissing her softly between gasps for air as they came down.

“We should hurry and clean up.” Vera whispered as she kissed him again, the small gasp as he pulled out of her was a puff of air on his lips. He quickly bent to grab their pants and handed hers to her to get dressed before they continued towards the water.

He cautiously reached out his hand to grab hers and after a moment of hesitation on her end, where she had started to pull back, she allowed herself to return the grip just as tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am laughing hysterically over here...mostly because Hamish's experience happened to my brother and his ex and the whole family and our cousin absolutely woofed when the ex came over (we didn't do it to any of his other dates. The ex had been my best friend for like 10 years so it was fine.)


	63. Nope! We’re Not Talking About This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome with the reviewing! I'm so happy you guys enjoyed last chapter so much! This one is another light one, well...mostly, before things get a little...tense, shall we say, in the next chapter...

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

On the walk back to the camp Vera had gotten quieter and a bit more physically distant. She had made it very clear that there would be _no_ slip ups in or around the camp again. Unless she was able to completely remove the evidence before being anywhere near Emilie, they would _not_ be sleeping together.

He felt himself deflate a little bit at the idea since it wasn’t likely they’d find running water most nights, but she wouldn’t budge. And her flushed embarrassed face was too adorable to argue with anyways.

He watched as she paused before exiting the woods and took a deep breath. He rolled his eyes with a grin as she pulled herself taller before walking out and into the campsite. As if either of them would really think to tease her, even without her Grand Magus façade in place. Not that he really believed it actually worked on either of the siblings, well at least not Emilie, Fynn seemed a bit more nervous when it came to Vera.

Emilie skipped over the second she saw them, and Vera cleared her throat and took another step away from him to put more distance between them.

“I’m going to go read for a bit.” She unconsciously shot a look towards Hamish as she excused herself but she didn't miss the sly smirk on the girl’s face before she turned fully to Hamish.

“Let’s hunt, shall we?” Emilie said linking her arm through his and dragging him off towards the roped off section. His face flushed and he looked towards Vera for help, but she just smirked before disappearing inside the tent.

“So…?” Emilie asked with a wide smile as she nudged his side when they were far enough away. Hamish flushed deeper but rolled his eyes.

“We’re not talking about this Em, it’s private.”

“Oh, ew! I don’t want details about _that_! Gross Hamish!” Her face took on a disgusted look as she dropped his arm and stepped away from him.

“Good, because it wasn’t going to happen. She’s already embarrassed enough as it is.” Emilie’s face flushed in discomfort.

“Yeah well, maybe _next_ time you should warn her first…”

“I didn’t know…I did try to…you know what, no, we’re not doing this. What do you want?”

“It just seems like things are going really well for you two. I was worried when she stormed off saying she hated you, but then hearing her…” She abruptly cut off when he groaned and brought his hand up to cover his face.

“LAUGH! I heard her laughing! Jesus Hamish!” She heard his muttered curse as he realized he’d let slip they’d had sex after they left and she chuckled slightly at his discomfort. “You know, she _is_ supposed to be resting Hamish…”

“Me?! _She's_ the one that started it…oh my god, she’s going to kill me.” His hand scrubbed down his face before Emilie’s rolling laughter pulled his own uncomfortable laughter out. “Please don’t tease her about it.”

“I would never!” She looked shocked at the insinuation before smirking. _“You_ on the other hand…”

“What do you want?” He asked with a mock glare.

“Just to see you two happy…and to be in the wedding party of course…oh, and I wouldn’t say no to being Auntie to any wolf babies you two kids have…hey, woah, what’s wrong?” She had watched as his smile dropped suddenly before being replaced by sadness.

“Nothing.” He tried to brush off the comment and continue walking but she stepped in front of his path with a hand to his chest.

“Hey. No, don’t do that Hamish. You can talk to me.” Her teasing was completely gone and in its place was deep concern. He sighed before bringing his hand to sift through his hair.

“Not only is she _nowhere_ near being ready for any type of commitment like a wedding, if she even wants to get married one day, but I can guarantee with absolute certainty that there won’t be any children.”

Emilie watched the longing on his face as he said it and looked confused. “But you want them, don’t you? You want kids in the future? Have you told her?”

“It doesn’t matter…”

“No, it _does_ matter. If it matters to you…”

“Drop it Emilie, now.” She took a step back at the ferocity of his words.

“Sorry.” She muttered as she turned around and continued walking. Hamish felt the quilt well up in him at his outburst. She was only concerned about him; she wasn’t trying to pry. He sighed deeply before catching up to walk beside her.

“She can’t have kids and I’d rather have her without kids than kids without her.” He offered quietly and they walked in silence for a few minutes before Emilie looked up.

“Maybe there’s a cure? Magic can fix a lot of things.” She offered and saw him deflate a little further.

“Magic is what did it to her. She said the incantation she used is irreversible.” Emilie’s eyes widened as she turned to him.

“She cast it on herself? Why would she do that?” She bit her lip with closed eyes as soon as the question was out of her mouth and shook her head. “Never mind, it’s really not my business. I am sorry though.” She offered and grabbed his hand to offer him comfort.

“It’s okay, she’s more than enough on her own.” She grinned at him as the happy smile spread across his face again.

“Well, whenever she _is_ ready and says yes to becoming Mrs. Duke, I better be the _first_ person you tell.” He let out a laugh at her serious face and nodded.

“Deal.”

“Good, now let’s get some food so she can _hopefully_ regain some of that energy you seem so intent on draining.” She teased as she started removing her clothes and allowed Charlotte to take control.

“Keep it up and there definitely won't be a wedding because she’s going to kill me and it’ll be your fault, I hope you know that.” He actually heard Charlotte scoff at the idea as she rolled her eyes and started sniffing the ground while he undressed.

Once Vera had felt comfortable enough, she had joined Fynn at the fire and started teaching him some more advanced and highly useful incantations. He was an absolute natural and _actually_ listened when she spoke which was refreshing change.

They had been at it for roughly thirty minutes when they heard the two wolves bickering, well mostly Emilie arguing. She looked at Fynn to see him rolling his eyes and leaning back as if he was settling in for a show.

“ _You_ cheated and scared it off. We could’ve had two and _mine_ would’ve been bigger, you know it!” Hamish’s deep laughter brought a soft smile to Vera’s face.

“You are so competitive! One is _more_ than enough Em and you know it. Now will you help me carry this thing already?”

 _“No!_ You insisted on going after yours, so you carry it. Besides, it’s certainly small enough that you shouldn’t be struggling. _Mine_ on the other hand would've…”

“You are ridiculous, you know that right?”

“Just because I’m right doesn’t mean I’m ridiculous or wrong.” There was complete silence by all parties before the wolves’ laughter ricocheted through the camp.

“I honestly don’t know how Fynn has put up with you for the past nineteen years.”

“Hey!” She shouted and they heard the thud of her fist connecting with his arm just before the two broke through the clearing both dragging a large deer, despite what Emilie had been saying.

“A _lot_ of patience!” Fynn added and both Hamish and him started laughing as her glare turned towards her older brother.

“You both are the worst. Drag it yourself.” She huffed and dropped the leg she was holding before joining Vera by the fire. “How do you put up with _him_?!” She asked jabbing her thumb towards Hamish with a glare as she saw he was still laughing.

“More patience than you can possibly imagine.” Hamish's smile dropped into a glare before he sent a breathtaking smile her way before he started dragging the dear again. She couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across her face.

“I guess it also helps that you want to slee…” She immediately snapped her mouth shut as Vera’s glare turned towards her and she coughed to buy herself time. “slap him?” Her face was pure confusion and mortification.

“Sorry.” She looked up guiltily at Vera after seeing Hamish’s glare. Vera felt her own embarrassment rise but instead of letting the joke get to her, she just leaned closer to Emilie and whispered low enough Hamish wouldn’t be able to hear.

“It certainly doesn’t hurt, well that's not always true...” Vera trailed off teasingly and Emilie’s face snapped up towards hers looking amused until Vera's words sank in and a look of disgust crossed her face.

“ _Nope!_ ” She shook her head to clear the image as she stood. “We’re _not_ talking about this. I’m getting cards and we’re going to play a nice _safe_ game of Hand and Foot…with _cards_ only!” She glared down at Vera’s amused face before moving towards her tent.

Hamish looked at Vera with confusion which only made her chuckle harder. She looked towards Fynn who looked both confused and a little uncomfortable, most likely guessing exactly what his sister had been about to say, but no idea what she'd said in response.

“What did you say to her?” Hamish asked as he sat beside her, leaving the deer in Fynn’s very capable hands. She gave a throaty chuckle as Emilie came back out of the tent and met her eyes.

“Nothing that wasn’t true.”

 _“Gross.”_ She shot the words at Vera, but they both could see the amusement on her face as she joined them and handed half the deck to Vera to shuffle. 

“I think this is one of those situations where it’s best _not_ to ask Hamish.” Fynn suggested as he magically skinned the deer and prepared cuts to cook.

“He’s right, it’s _girl_ stuff.” Emilie said giving a sly grin towards Hamish’s worried face now. Vera chuckled again as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and mouthed a _‘later’_ at him.

They were in the third round when Vera felt her eyes getting heavier and heavier as the minutes ticked by. She noticed Hamish shifting closer to her as they started the fourth and final round and she started leaning against him as she waited for her turn. Last thing she remembered was Fynn cheering when he _finally_ got the required points to lay his cards down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Emilie/Vera/Hamish relationship so much.


	64. A White Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews, they fuel the fire under my muse lol
> 
> Unfortunately, the fun happy times can't last forever...at least, not yet...or for a while yet

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

Vera woke hours later and first thing she noticed was how much darker it had gotten. The second thing she noticed was growling. Quickly waking further, she moved her head off of Hamish’s shoulder and looked around.

Emilie was stalking towards the other side of the fire in a defensive position facing the tree line and Fynn was moving closer to her as Hamish slowly started to stand.

“What is it?” Before Hamish could respond she heard the growling again and knew it wasn’t Emilie or Hamish. She allowed Fynn to help her up as Hamish walked behind her to face the other side of the clearing.

“Are the enchantments up?” Fynn nodded at her quiet question, but she watched as he cast another to strengthen the wards. She was surprised Tundra and Charlotte hadn’t taken control yet until she realized Hamish had chosen to attempt to lure whatever creature it was into thinking they were defenseless.

Her eyes widened as she watched a massive ancient looking white wolf slowly begin to approach the wards. It stood on hind legs, _easily_ two feet taller than Tundra was, and snarled furiously as it’s prowling was stopped by the enchantment. Its golden eyes roved over each of them before zeroing in on Vera, or more specifically, her chest where the ring sat.

It backed away from the wards before dropping to all fours and started charging directly towards her. Hamish stepped more fully in front of her so he was blocking the other wolf’s view of her. The barrier held but they could all see the shimmering echo around the field. She watched as the wolf acknowledge it as well.

It stalked further around the barrier, trying to get Vera in its sight again, but Hamish reached behind him and grabbed both her hips to keep her behind him as he rotated with the wolf's movements. The wolf’s eyes snapped to him and snarled viciously again as it lunged at the wards.

When it was unsuccessful again it stood at the barrier as if it was calculating something before it placed both giant paws against the field and started pushing with a deep growl. They watched as an what looked list mist started to rise beneath the paws as spidering fractures began to grow throughout the field. Even as Fynn tried to reinforce them, the barrier became less and less stable.

A victorious snarl broke from the wolf as they watched the barrier shatter and it started stalking forward again. Emilie had shifted closer and was waiting on Hamish’s signal. As the wolf howled and dropped back to all fours Hamish signaled Emilie and Fynn with a small nod.

Just as the wolf started charging forward, both Charlotte and Tundra took control and stood on hind legs in front of Vera and Fynn viciously snarling at the larger wolf. The larger wolf halted immediately and looked between the two, it’s gaze lingering on Charlotte.

Its eyes flicked back to Vera once more and Tundra stepped forward growling threateningly while Charlotte moved to block Vera from its view. The large wolf huffed once before turning away, disappearing as soon as it hit the tree line.

Tundra dropped down to try to locate its scent while Charlotte defensively circled Vera. They watched as Tundra searched but with a deep growl, he left the trail and moved back beside Vera. He herded her behind him as Charlotte bounded forward and moved to the place the wolf had disappeared sniffing deeply before melting away into Emilie.

“There’s nothing. It’s as if he wasn’t even here.” She said confused as she grabbed the blanket she’d been using and covered herself.

“He?” Vera asked stepping out from behind Tundra ignoring his growl of warning. She had thought it might have been Amalie with the golden eyes and white fur. But the eyes _did_ seem slightly different. Emilie looked back at her and tilted her head.

“I don’t know how I know it, but I do know it was a he.”

“Charlotte probably encountered him when she was here before.” Hamish added as Tundra melted away. “I couldn’t sense him either. The only reason either of us knew he was there was because he growled and alerted us to his presence. He has no scent and can move silently.” They could hear the tension in his voice and Vera allowed herself to step back against him in an effort to calm him.

“He also seemed to recognize Charlotte, or at least he seemed more interested in her then Tundra.” They looked towards Fynn who was already putting up wards again.

“Do you sense anything from Charlotte?” Emilie closed her eyes and focused on her wolf for several minutes before opening her eyes.

“I think…I think he tried to save me. Or her…but not Charlotte, her first champion maybe? They fought over something and she was ambushed by practitioners right after she left the woods. I think...I think he watched her die?” Vera’s eyes shut tightly at the news as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Why couldn’t The Order just leave them alone?!

“We won’t let him get to you.” She promised and Vera watched as her eyes turned silver showing Charlotte’s agreement.

“Can either of you break the enchantments as easily as he did?” Fynn asked and Vera felt Hamish’s hands dig into her hips slightly as he pulled her back against him further.

 _‘Even at my full power I don’t know if I could’ve broken through. And if I could have it definitely would not have been that easy.’_ Hamish could sense the under currents of fear lacing Tundra’s words. _‘He’s both ancient and incredibly powerful.’_

“No. He’s a lot more powerful than either of us.”

“But why now all of a sudden? If he’s been here this whole time, why has he waited over a month to show himself?”

“Because I got the ring yesterday. He only tried to come after me after he saw it.” Hamish pulled her back against him further and growled threateningly at the tree line. “I think it’s okay though, as soon as he saw you both were wolves he left. He didn’t even try to fight.”

“He was still interested in you though. No more training out of line of sight. One of us should be with one of you at all times. He may be fine with us wolves, but if Emilie is right, he’s almost definitely not a fan of human practitioners.”

All nodded in agreement and migrated back to the fire, too wired to attempt to sleep now. Emilie changed while Hamish stood guard before they swapped. It was once they sat again that Vera noticed the cards were still out.

“It’s the furthest we made it in the game and figured it wouldn’t hurt to pause it in the hopes that you’d want to continue when you woke up. We don’t have to of course.” Emilie said as she sat down beside her. Vera could see she was only partly in the conversation, most of her focus was on listening for any sign the wolf was coming back.

When Hamish returned, he took the spot on Vera's other side and draped his sleeping bag around their shoulders. Once she’d taken hold of the side around her, she felt him wrap his arm around her and pull her closer into his side.

Vera looked up and noticed his gaze would shift silver every few seconds as he listened. She allowed herself to turn slightly so she was leaning back against his side before she picked up her cards and encouraged the others to continue.

It took longer than she had hoped to get the two wolves into the game, but eventually they were more focused on it than trying to listen for a silent threat. They were both still tense though and had shifted closer and closer to her with each noise.

“Okay, you both need to stop.” She finally barked as they both snapped their attention towards what sounded like an owl and she was practically squished between the two of them.

“He’s still out there…”

“And he will continue to be out there until we make it out of here. I don’t need either of you smothering me. Back up.” Her tone left no room for argument and Emilie’s gaze dropped slightly as she shifted away from her to a more reasonable level.

“You too.” She glared up at Hamish who met her stare with his own. “I’m not helpless so stop acting like I am.”

“I’m not…” His eyes widened in shock at her words.

“Yes, you are. And for the most part I’ve allowed it. I’ve stuck to the buddy arrangement the entire time, I've agreed to always be in view of one of you two, but this is too much. I will not be coddled every minute of the day until we get out of here because we suddenly know there’s a threat. There’s _always_ a threat to me with my position, it’s nothing new.”

She went to stand and felt his arm tighten subconsciously. She turned her cold eyes to him and he immediately released her. He went to stand and she held out her hand. “Nope, I am just going into the tent. I don’t need an escort. And until you and Tundra have calmed down, I’d prefer if you stayed out _here_ jumping at harmless noises instead of keeping me awake.”

He sank back down and started removing the sleeping bag from his shoulders before she spoke up again.

“Keep it.” To the others it didn’t really mean anything, but to him it was clear. She was basically banishing him to the couch for the night. He sighed heavily and turned his stare to the fire.

He _knew_ she couldn’t stand being coddled and though he tried to argue against it, that was exactly what he and Emilie had been doing. Yes, there was a threat out there, but they didn’t need to be touching her. It just brought more attention to the fact that she actually needed to rely on others and that wasn’t something she knew how to deal with.

“Sorry.” Emilie muttered quietly as she poked the coals in the fire.

“It’s fine, I knew better than to crowd her.” The three of them sat there for another twenty minutes before Fynn headed off. Both of their wolves were still too wired to go to sleep and Hamish knew if he tried and woke Vera up because he heard something that turned out to be nothing, she would likely kick him out of the tent completely.

When Emilie finally turned in Hamish did one final circuit and cast several layers of protective wards over the clearing and repeating the action to their tent before quietly making his way inside. Vera stirred slightly as he zipped the tent behind him, but after a few seconds of silence on his part he heard her breathing even out again.

He looked over at her and noticed she’d even turned the zipper of her bag towards the edge of the tent, making it abundantly clear she wanted to sleep alone. Sighing quietly, he unrolled his sleeping bag and listened to her breathing to pull him under, allowing Tundra to stand guard as he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who else thought the wolf was Amalie? The wolf is definitely a threat and Tundra knows it.
> 
> Vera has made a lot of progress, but relying on others is hard...especially when they are making it so blatant that she IS the weakest one out of them right now.
> 
> Warning, next three chapters are going to be rough...but also I love them and 66 is one of my favorites...


	65. Please Don’t. Not Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I did warn the next 3 chapters were going to be rough...tissues ready? And for the ending you'll also probably want some virtual rotten tomato's to throw at me...sorry?

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

Vera’s temper had steadily been rising all day while they hiked. She could tell that both of the wolves were _trying_ to give her space, but neither one would allow her to enter a new section of the woods until one of them scouted ahead first. She knew it wasn’t a terrible idea, but at the same time, what difference would it really make if they knew a few seconds earlier? She had tried to point out they were also risking being attacked from behind and keeping this method up risked one less wolf being near her if that happened. They had ignored her.

By the time they had set up camp she’d just about had it. As the others sat to start dinner, she slipped into the tent without a word and pulled out her book in an effort to calm herself before she lashed out. She knew her emotions were closer to the surface right now and if she didn’t want to snap at any of them, she needed to separate herself from them. Just for an hour or two.

She wasn’t sure exactly how long she’d been starring off into space with her book open to the same page as when she'd opened it before Hamish walked in. She closed her eyes as she dropped her head at the irritation that rushed up in her.

“I’m just dropping off a plate.” He quickly explained as he saw her tense. Her shoulders dropped at his explanation and she released a deep breath.

“Thank you. I just need some time alone.” She whispered as he set the plate beside her.

“No rush, we’ll be out here when you’re ready.” She offered a small nod but kept her eyes on her book to hide her watery eyes. She waited until he left the tent before wiping at them in an effort to stop the tears before they fell.

Picking up her plate, she started picking at the meal but couldn’t bring herself to eat any of it. Instead she set it beside her and burrowed under the sleeping bag, allowing the tears to fall as she thought about tomorrow. When her eyes were raw and her throat hurt from staying silent as she cried, she finally allowed exhaustion to pull her under.

Hamish kept throwing worried glances towards the tent as one hour turned into another and another and still Vera hadn’t come out. By the time they were ready for bed, he almost threw himself into the tent to check on her but found she was sleeping soundly.

He looked towards his sleeping bag that was kept separated and noticed her plate resting on top of it. She hadn’t eaten anything. He very carefully pulled her sleeping bag down to reveal her face and barely stopped himself from engulfing her in a hug.

Her face was covered in dried tear tracks and she looked so tiny curled up like she was. Knowing she wanted to be alone he left her sleeping bag zipped but brought his right beside hers in case she needed comfort while she slept.

He was surprised when he woke to Vera already dressed and packing her things the next morning. Listening for a minute he realized Emilie wasn’t even up and about yet. He gently reached out for her hand, but she snatched it away and took a shuddering breath.

“Please don’t. Not today.” And it hit him like a ton of bricks. _Today_ was Ally’s birthday, that’s why she had been crying last night.

“Vera….” She abruptly stood and made her way out of the tent before he could continue. He took a deep breath and was about to push himself up to follow her when he heard Emilie’s cheery _‘Good morning! You're up early. Ohh, want to help with breakfast? I’ve been practicing this incantation, we could do pancakes!’_

He muttered a curse and threw himself out of the tent just in time to see Vera’s pain filled wide eyes staring at Emilie before abruptly turning away with an _‘I can’t do this.’_ And hurriedly starting down the path they had marked yesterday.

Vera felt like someone was suffocating her as her vision started to darken. She clutched at her chest as she tried to get away from everyone. She just needed a second, she’d be fine. She hadn’t expected Emilie to come out when she had, asking her to help with breakfast. It was too easy to imagine what could’ve been.

She heard Emilie’s panicked voice calling after her and Hamish yelling to Emilie to stay there with Fynn, but it didn’t register with her. The threat in the woods didn’t matter right now, all she knew was she needed to get away from the suffocating atmosphere.

She felt herself stumble but didn’t feel the pain that falling would bring. Instead of the ground she found herself looking up at the sky as she fought for breath.

“You need to breathe Vera.” She heard the words and recognized the voice but nothing more than that. Her hand tightened further on her numbing chest and she felt herself being set down against a tree before two hands grabbed her face.

“Vera! You _have_ to breathe!” She looked at the face in confusion as she hit her chest when air still wouldn’t fill her lungs. “Dammit, Vera! Breathe!” He leaned in and pushed air into her mouth trying to get her to inhale but she just kept watching him in confusing as she clutched her chest.

“What’s happening?!” Emilie cried out as her and Fynn ran up behind them.

“You need to leave, _now!”_ He barked without turning away from Vera. Her eyes were glossy and unfocused, but she looked up towards Emilie and tears started to fall from her eyes. “Tell her she needs to breathe.” He looked behind him to see the girl’s eyes were wide in fear. “Emilie! Tell her!”

The girl dropped down beside her and grabbed Vera’s hand placing it flat on her own chest as she took a deep breath while encouraging Vera to do the same. He watched as Vera’s eyes focused on her hand and the movement beneath before she finally took a ragged breath and allowed Hamish to pull her into his chest as she started gasping for air.

Hamish let out a relived breath before turning towards the others. “Please leave. I’ll call for you if I need you, but she wouldn’t want you to see her like this. And Em, don’t blame yourself, it’s just a really bad day for her.” He watched Fynn pull Emilie away as she stared at Vera with tears falling down her face at the other woman’s pain.

Hamish held her as she fought for control and her desperate gasps turned to deeper, steadier breaths. Her grip on him eased and she slowly pulled back and let her head fall against the tree with her eyes closed. He watched as her hands came up to press against her eyes as she continued to focus on keeping her breathing calm.

“You know, if I had been a better mom, she’d still be alive. She’d be nineteen today, same age as Emilie.” Hamish felt the words slam into his chest and knock the wind out of him. He reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder, but she quickly shrugged him off.

“Vera, please tell me you don’t believe that.” She let out a humorless laugh before her head dropped to her knees and she hugged her legs to her.

“My baby died _because_ of me Hamish, of _course_ I believe it.”

“You couldn’t have known…”

“If I hadn’t relied on someone else and made my own food, she would be alive right not. Don’t make excuses for me, I killed her…”

“No.” His voice was hard, and she looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. “No, what happened to your daughter was an accident. You love her and if you had known what would’ve happened you would’ve done everything in your power to stop it. We both know that.” There were several moments of silence before she spoke up again.

“I haven’t even been able to bring myself to visit her. What sort of mother can’t bring herself to visit her child’s grave?!”

“We’ll go together just like we agreed, whenever you’re ready. But you don’t have to visit her grave for her to know how much you love and miss her Vera. It was a tragic accident, but it _wasn’t_ your fault. You never wanted to hurt her.”

He watched as she shook her head over her knees and tried to reach out again. She flinched away once again before whispering.

“I’d like to be alone.”

“Vera, it’s not safe…”

“Then some space at least!” He could hear her desperate tone and knew she was fraying. He looked around before spotting a tree several yards away that would allow him to watch the area but give her what he hoped was enough space.

“Okay, I’m going to sit right over there. I’m here Vera, whatever you need.” She let out a shaky breath as he moved away and pulled her legs in tighter. Her butt had long since gone numb by the point she found herself in control enough to look up and face Hamish.

Hamish watched as her eyes widened in terror as she tried to force herself up. She screamed his name just as he heard the booming snarl directly behind him. Tundra had barely started to force his way out when the massive arm struck out against him and sent him flying.

The last thing he saw before his head connected with a boulder and he lost consciousness was Vera’s terrified eyes staring at him from her pinned position beneath the snarling ancient wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to my muse - I want Vera to be happy in this story  
> My muse - So what I'm hearing is you want me to rip your heart out and smash it on the floor...cool, I got this.


	66. Wolf Whisperer vs Wolf Tamer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I hope everyone's ready...

CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX

Vera watched from beneath the heavy paw as Hamish’s head connected roughly with the large rock. She kept waiting for him to stand but he stayed lifeless and unmoving on the ground. She felt the saliva from the wolf above her drip down onto her face, but her terrified eyes remained fixed on Hamish. She was trying desperately to detect some sign that would show he was still alive.

 _‘Why are you here?’_ Her eyes snapped towards the snarling muzzle in front of her face as the words echoed in her mind. _‘Answer me before I rip your heart out.’_ He threatened and she could feel his claws slowly starting to dig into her flesh.

“We came for the ring.”

 _‘Who are you?’_ It snarled oppressively in her mind.

“Vera Stone, Grand Magus of The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose.” The words tore from her as if by magic and she quickly closed her eyes and turned her head as he growled viciously at the title. She let out a pained cry as the claws dug further into her chest before she heard heavy footfalls.

Her eyes snapped open in hope, but instead of Tundra charging towards her it was Charlotte. She leapt at the much larger wolf in an attempt to land on his back, but without turning his head from Vera or moving his claws from where they were buried in Vera’s chest he grabbed Charlotte around the throat and slammed her down beside Vera.

The wolf shifted it's head to snarl down at Charlotte and Vera watched as Emilie became visible. She looked towards Vera with terrified tear filled eyes. She closed her eyes tightly before opening them, but nothing happened other than the slightest flicker of her eye color.

“I’m so sorry.” She choked out as she desperately clawed at the massive fingers gripped around her throat.

“Leave her alone!” The wolfs attention snapped back towards Vera with a growl but she met his hard glare with her own. “I said. _Leave. Her. Alone!”_ She growled up at him as she turned, letting out a pained cry as the claws dug deeper into her chest. Still she fought against his hold. She panted heavily as she wrapped both hands around his wrist and attempted to move it from the now unconscious girl’s throat.

She started to panic as she watched Emilie’s face beginning to turn purple and turned back towards the wolf. This can't be happening, not again, not today. _“Please!_ Let her go, you’re killing her! She can’t breathe!” The wolf cocked its head to the side, but released Emilie and Vera let out a relived sob as she felt her tears falling heavily.

She heard Fynn running towards them and felt the claws digging in deeper as a snarl ripped from him.

 _‘If he doesn’t turn around and leave right now, I will kill him.’_ It warned and Vera let out a pained cry at both the thought of Fynn dying and the claws tearing into her.

“Fynn I need you to go back to the camp and stay there. No matter what you hear, you cannot come back. _Now Fynn!_ ” The claws retracted slightly at her order when the boy turned with tears falling from his eyes and made his way back towards the camp. She watched the struggle with every step he took.

 _‘How is she here? I watched her die.’_ The voice growled in her mind, pulling her attention away from the frightened boy.

“We think Ishtar ended the wolf curse and turned the wolves into eternal hides. The hide chooses a champion to bond with. Charlotte chose Emilie.”

 _‘Lies.’_ It snarled viciously as his claws dug deeper.

“It’s not a lie! You can see it for yourself. She's _right_ there!” She gasped out through the pain.

_‘Why are they with you?’_

“Because we need to stop Ishtar and I trust them.”

_‘But why are they following you? You, who slaughtered hundreds of my kin.’_

“That wasn’t me! I wasn’t even alive back then!” Her pained howl broke from her throat as the claws dug further into her chest with his rage.

_‘It was The Order’s decree! The same Order that you now lead! They warped everything I built. Every sacrifice I made was wasted. And now you dare to enter my domain, my haven for the last of my line and you seek to steal from me?’_

Vera’s hands were wrapped around the wolf’s paw, but her eyes shot open at his words. “Gilgamesh?” Her agonized scream echoed off the trees as his claws cut farther into her and his snarling face pressed dangerously against her neck. Her eyes snapped open as she heard Tundra’s furious growl and watched as the grey wolf dove under the larger one and sending it off balance.

Its claws ripped from her chest as he was thrown, and her scream tore from her as the motion shredded her flesh. Hamish quickly took control and started healing her. She heard the furious snarling and the heavy footfalls just as Tundra stood on all fours above her gnashing his teeth at the larger white wolf.

He dropped into a crouch above her as the other wolf charged at him. Tundra reared up and met the other’s charge in a furious battle before the white wolf’s longer arm was able to grip Tundra around his throat and slam him down on Vera’s other side.

She watched as Gilgamesh snarled down at Tundra who continued fighting against him. His furious snarls increased as he lifted Tundra before slamming him down again. She saw the fur started to melt away but as soon as Hamish’s panicked face started to become visible, Tundra forced his way out again and swiped deeply at Gilgamesh’s face.

 _‘What did you do to him?!’_ It snarled in her head as he slammed the grey wolf down again.

“Nothing!”

 _‘He won’t be tamed like the rest! You did something to him! What have you done?!’_ The pain of the booming growl inside her head began drowning out the pain in her chest from her still unhealed wounds.

“I’ve done nothing to him! He _chooses_ to protect me!”

_‘Why?!’_

“Because his champion asks him to!” She desperately cried trying to drown out his shouts in her mind.

 _‘Unacceptable.’_ He growled before increasing his grip on Tundra’s throat and squeezing. She watched as Tundra melted away and Hamish’s unconscious form lay beside her. Still the wolfs grip didn’t loosen and she could see the blood starting to pool around his neck from the claws slicing into the skin.

“No, no, please. Please don’t kill him. Hamish? Hamish you need to stay with me…” She begged as she painfully dragged herself towards him.

_‘Isn’t that your plan anyways?’_

_“No!”_ She shouted as she dropped onto Hamish and tried to force the paw off of Hamish’s throat. “Please!”

‘ _As soon as you leave the woods, you have no use for him. You will turn on him and kill him just as they killed her! They_ always _kill them!’_

“No! I’m doing this _for_ them! He needs to survive! _Please!_ ” She sobbed as she tried to pry the fingers from his throat.

_‘Why him? What makes him special?’_

“Please let him go! Hamish? Hamish come on, stay with me. I can't lose you, not like this, not today. Please.” She begged as she brought a shaking hand to the side of Hamish's face. “Stop this! He’s one of you! Please let him go! If you need to kill someone, kill me!” She tried desperately as she turned to face the wolf.

It snarled darkly before releasing Hamish and pinning her the same way. He brought his muzzle directly above her face. His furious huffs blowing her hair back.

_‘Why sacrifice yourself for him, he’s a wolf.’_

“I don’t care.”

_‘Why?!’_

“Because I love him!” She choked out through the squeezing force of his grip as Gilgamesh's magic tore the confession from her lips. His grip loosened but didn’t drop and she took deep gulps of air. He leaned in close to her neck and started sniffing deeply at the wounds along her neck and chest.

 _‘You want to save him? Save both of them?’_ It asked and she heard the fury had lessened, but was still hesitant.

“Yes.”

_‘He loves you.”_

“I know.”

 _‘You will betray him.’_ She heard the challenge in his voice and glared up at him.

“Never!”

_‘But you’re dying.’_

“I know.”

_‘That ring will kill you one way or another.’_

“I know.” Vera admitted brokenly, but not tearing her eyes from the wolf's.

_‘Does he know?’_

“He can’t. He won’t be able to do what needs to be done if he knew.”

_‘And what exactly is it that needs to be done? Why are you so desperate?'_

“Ishtar is free again; we _need_ to banish her. If I have to die to save my wolves and the rest of the world, I’m willing to make that sacrifice. But he won’t be able to pay that cost if he knew my death was a guarantee.”

The wolf sniffed her again, pausing to give several huffs along the wounds of her chest.

 _‘And are you sure you know the full cost of your sacrifice?’_ He asked as he shifted his massive paw to rest above her shredded torso.

“She will make sure he survives. That’s all I need to know.” Vera looked to him and saw as his attention shifted between herself and Hamish before his palm pressed heavily against her torso. Vibrant green and gold light spread from his paw and wrapped around her entire abdomen as the wolf’s eyes closed in concentration and Vera felt her wounds slowly start to close.

He pulled his arm back slowly and watched her as she at up and crawled over to Hamish. Her eyes were filled with tears and desperation as she lifted Hamish’s head into her lap and clamped her hands over the wounds to stem the bleeding. He walked over to Emilie and Vera watched the golden light encircle the girl’s throat before he brought her conscious again.

 _‘You_ must _find a way to survive Vera Stone or they will_ both _die.’_ He huffed once before tiredly stalking back into the woods and disappearing.

“Quickly Emilie, heal him.” She held him as Emilie healed the damage to Hamish's throat and head before he shot up and began looking around desperately.

“It’s okay, we’re okay.” He turned abruptly at her voice and dragged her into him with a choked sob before pushing back and bringing his hand to her chest. Seeing no wound, he pulled her back into him tightly as he looked towards Emilie.

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t me. I tried, but he was too strong. He suppressed Charlotte somehow.”

“Most likely because he’s the first wolf, that was Gilgamesh. And he healed me then Emilie. He won’t bother us again.”

“Wow…you really are the wolf whisperer, you even tamed Gilgamesh!” Vera chuckled at the girl’s aww.

“I didn’t _tame_ him; we came to an understanding. He was just trying to protect you both.”

“He has a terrible way of showing it.” Hamish growled as he dropped a shaky kiss her shoulder.

“Tundra threw him for a loop. Apparently, he _should_ be able to tame all of the wolves. Tundra was able to fight him somehow and refused to submit to him. He thought I did something to him.” She felt Hamish freeze briefly and turned towards Emilie who had gotten up to gather Hamish’s clothes.

“For whatever the reason is, I’m glad he couldn’t. Tundra was able to give you the time you needed to find a solution.” She suspected there was something he was hiding, and by Emilie studiously ignoring her as she mended Hamish’s clothes, not caring about her own nudity, she suspected the blond knew what it was.

Maybe he hadn’t meant Hamish and _Emilie_ would die, maybe he meant Hamish and Tundra? Not able to handle where the line of thought was going, she just nodded her head in agreement.

“We should head back if you’re both able. I had to send Fynn away to protect him and I’m sure he’s terrified.” Emilie looked at her with wide eyes before shifting into Charlotte and charging back towards the camp.

“How’d you get him to understand?” Hamish asked after dressing as he wrapped his arms around her lower back and held her close.

“We just talked. He knows firsthand what a threat Ishtar is.” Hamish nodded, but could tell she was hiding something. Instead of focusing on it, he pulled her closer to him and kissed her deeply.

“I was worried he’d kill you.” She sank into the kiss and pulled him closer before resting her forehead against his.

“You’re not the only one.” She whispered as the image of him bloodied and unconscious in Gilgamesh’s grip played in her mind again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In original planning, Gilgamesh was NOT supposed to appear at all other than the brief mention in the journal...I'm so glad he forced his way in though!
> 
> Warning, next chapter is another brutal one...


	67. Mommy Misses You So Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all incredible with reviewing, we've hit 600 and I was just so excited when I saw that that I woke up (way too early for the weekend and being up so late, mind you) to get this one finished and out to you guys as a huge thank you!
> 
> I knew people would enjoy at that little gem last chapter...little happy moment before this chapter...tissues recommended.

CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

They had wordlessly decided as a group to stay where they were after Gilgamesh appeared. It was already pushing one in the evening and everyone was way too drained from the entire ordeal. When Vera and Hamish had re-entered the camp Fynn was crying as he hugged his sister to him.

He looked up with tear filled eyes when they stepped up beside the firepit and he broke his hold of Emilie before advancing on Vera. She took an unconscious step back as he quickly approached but was too late to avoid his arms wrapping around her shoulders tightly.

Hamish and Emilie watched closely while Vera stood motionless as Fynn kept repeating _‘You saved her. You saved my baby sister. Thank you!’_ One of her hands slowly rose to rest on his back as he wept with relief into her shoulder.

“Emilie’s okay Fynn, we all are. Everyone’s safe.” She soothed until he pulled back wiping at his eyes and apologizing. “It's alright Fynn, you’re fine.” She offered with a small smile as her gaze flicked up and met Emilie's. She was looking at them both in confusion tinted with hurt before Vera excused herself to change her torn shirt.

She took several steadying breaths once she was in the tent before kneeling down by her bag and pulling out her sweatshirt. Once dressed, she found herself reaching for her phone and her thumb hovering shakily over the power button.

She didn’t hear the tent zipper opening and closing nor Hamish call her name quietly as she stared at the phone in her shaking hand. His hand landing on her back startled her and she clutched the phone tightly in her hands as she looked over at him.

“Do you need anything?” She was looking at him like a lost child and it crushed him. He watched as her gaze turned back to the phone in her hand without a word and gently rubbed her back offering what little comfort she would allow.

It was minutes later that she had finally worked up the strength to turn the phone on, and minutes after that that she slowly began navigating to her photo albums. He forced himself to not pull her to him as her breathing started speeding up and tears began slowly falling as her thumb shook over an album with a completely black cover picture.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked softly and waited patiently for her response, refusing to look at her phone unless she made it clear it was okay. He guessed what she was trying to force herself to do and he wouldn’t take advantage of her state to make her let him in until she was ready.

The broken sob slipped quietly from her lips and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling her into his chest any longer. He kept his forehead on her shoulder as she quietly cried and felt his own tears fall at her pain.

He shifted his hold on her as she turned into him slightly, her attention still focused on her phone. “Look how tiny she was.” Her words were shaky and thick with tears, and Hamish tightened his arms around her before slowly lifting his head to look at the phone in her hand.

He felt the breath get knocked out of him as he looked at the photo of a photo. A much younger Vera was curled up on her side gazing lovingly at a tiny baby with thick raven hair that was staring up Vera with matching grey blue eyes and a wide toothless smile. Vera’s hand rested lightly on the baby’s belly as her chubby legs kicked in the air excitedly.

“Oh Vera, she’s _beautiful.”_ His grip tightened as her breathing accelerated and her hands clenched tighter around the phone as it shook with her tears. He blinked his own tears away to continue staring at the picture before him. She was so blissfully happy when this was taken, and he could feel the love pouring out from the photo.

“She was perfect. Mommy misses you so much baby girl. She’s so sorry she failed you.” Her words died on a choked sob and she turned into Hamish fully, gripping his shirt tightly as her breathing became erratic. He released a shuddering breath as he pulled her tighter to him and let her cry into his shoulder.

“You didn’t fail her Vera. It was an accident.” He soothed stroking his hand in calming circles across her back as she succumbed to her grief. When she cried herself to exhaustion, he carefully tucked her into his sleeping bag and set her phone beside her hand.

He looked down at her and gently brushed her hair out of her face before quietly unrolling her sleeping bag. He had just finished zipping them together when he heard her stomach growling. She was still sleeping heavily, but after not eating anything last night or today he knew she’d be pulled from her slumber soon.

He debated with himself briefly before quietly getting up to make her something. He didn’t think she’d want to face the others so soon after, especially knowing at least Emilie had likely overheard the majority of their conversation.

When he turned and stood from zipping the tent, he was met by Emilie throwing her arms around him tightly. He looked around the site quickly but realized Fynn must have gone to lay down as well and he returned her hug just as fiercely.

“I’m so sorry I pushed the other day.” Her apology was whispered against his ear and he held her tighter before stepping back and guiding her away from the tent and towards the firepit to start cooking.

“It's okay Em, you didn’t mean anything by it.” He dismissed the words as he pulled out several items from their bag.

“I make it worse for her, don’t I?” He looked up abruptly at her broken tone and turned towards her.

“No, of course not Emilie…”

“She ran off this morning _after_ I talked to her and she broke down the other day _after_ I hugged her, but she was fine with Fynn. Maybe uncomfortable, but the anguish she felt after I hugged her...it wasn't there with him…” Hamish reached for her hands and squeezed them tightly.

“You also helped her this morning, Emilie. I couldn’t get through to her, you did.”

“I don’t know what to do. I keep hurting her.” He watched as her eyes welled up and pulled her into his side.

“No, Em. She’s hurting but you’re not the cause. The world took away the most precious thing she had and most days she bears the weight of that loss along with everything else without blinking, but some days it’s just too much. Everyone has their breaking points and today was hers. It’s not _because_ of you.

“She loves spending time with you and Fynn playing cards and listening to your stories and just seeing your joy for life. She would never want that to diminish because she needed a break from being strong for everyone else. She doesn’t want you to change anything about yourself because of what happened to her, she just needs some time, okay?”

He felt her nod before pulling back and starting the fire. “How’s Fynn doing?” It wasn’t uncommon for both Fynn and Vera to be in bed before them, but it was before dinner time and after the day they’d had he wanted to check in.

“He thought I was dead. He also thought Gilgamesh was going to kill you and Vera. He didn’t want to leave, but Vera made him. He thought leaving was the only way possible that she might survive. They may have come to an agreement, but he...he listened as Gilgamesh hurt her first. He said he heard Tundra trying to help and it gave him hope. But he feels like he failed all of us.”

“She was trying to protect him…”

“I know and so does he. It's just...we’re all we have left since our parents died and seeing me like that with Vera pinned. It messed with him more than he’ll ever admit to. He promised our mom before she died that he’d protect me but now that I’m a wolf I have a giant target on my back.”

“She _won’t_ let them hurt you. Neither will I.” Emilie turned towards him and smiled widely.

“I know you both will do whatever you can, but the threats still there. I'm guessing it’s the main reason they can’t know about you two, The Order isn’t ready to trust us yet. Once we start at Belgrave next semester it’ll probably get better since we’ll be in the same place, but he’s always going to worry about me.”

“He’s a good brother.” Seeing their relationship made him wish he’d had a brother or sister growing up. Emilie smiled widely with a nod.

“The best…but don’t tell him that. That’s reserved for birthdays, holidays and special occasions.” She laughed quietly as they set the dinners in the fire to cook. Hamish heard Vera moving around in the tent and went to excuse himself, but Emilie was already waving him off.

Hamish walked in the tent to see Vera near her bag drinking heavily from her water bottle. She looked completely drained and her eyes were red and puffy, but she offered him a small genuine smile when she met his gaze.

“Dinner should be ready shortly. We can eat wherever you’d prefer.” He watched her eyes flick towards the tent door before swallowing hard.

“Tomorrow.” He nodded and sat down across from her.

“Do you need anything?” She was happy he wasn’t smothering her or treating her differently. She hadn’t planned to show the image to him. She was rarely able to bring herself to look at it, but she’d made a promise to Ally that she would never forget her no matter how much pain it put her through.

It had been nice to finally let someone from her life now see Ally and talk about her a little bit, no matter how difficult it was. She looked up at Hamish and saw the pain in his eyes but was relieved to see there was no pity.

“Just some time.” She said shaking her head slightly. He nodded leaning forward and placing a lingering kiss to her forehead.

“Take however long you need.” He whispered before beginning to pull back. She caught the collar of his shirt quickly and tilted her head up to place a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Thank you.” Her words were barely more than a breath across his lips, but he heard them and pressed another soft kiss to her lips.

“I’ll bring you your plate when it’s finished.” He promised as he brushed her hair behind her ear and forced himself to follow her request and leave.

She was reading when he came in again and placed her meal beside her. She offered a small smile of thanks before turning back to her book and slowly picking at the food.

While he sat beside Emilie staring into the fire, the image of Vera with Alexandra kept flashing through his mind. Each time it slowly changed. Vera would age slightly, and Ally’s hair would lighten just so. By the time he returned to the tent and laid down beside Vera’s slumbering form he wasn’t seeing a young Vera curled around Ally.

The image had changed to show Vera now, wrapped in his arms while their entwined hands rested on the impossible blond baby with matching eyes. When Vera turned into him in her sleep and his arms tightened around her, he allowed a few tears to fall for that future he craved but would never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fine, I'm fine, there's just a branch in my eye over here. This is just feels coming out from everyone this chapter. But we have some major growth on Vera's part, so that's something!


	68. Dammit Vera, You're Sick!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a super short one...but after almost 7k words in the alternate universe one to this story (Missed Opportunity) that I was dead set against writing yet...well, I bitch about my muse enough for you all to know she has a mind of her own...

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

The next two weeks were rough on Vera, not that she would show it to the others. Hamish had left a small batch of flowers beside her pillow that Sunday just a couple days after Ally’s birthday. It took her a few seconds to make the connection, but when she did a few bittersweet tears fell before she composed herself.

It was Mother’s Day and he was acknowledging it without making a big deal out of it. He’d even left her time by herself to process it on her own and just offered a small smile when she’d been able to leave the tent and join them for breakfast.

She’d struggled with Mother’s Day ever since Ally died. Seeing all of the happy moms with their perfect babies hurt too much. She was happy for them all of course, but it was the second hardest holiday for her to get through.

And yet, somehow him acknowledging the day didn’t hurt like she had expected it would. To him she was and always will be Alexandra’s mother, and that was worth celebrating. Emilie had also tried to subtly do a little extra with breakfast that morning.

She hadn’t gotten the spell exactly right and the whip cream was a pale purple while the chocolate chips were a strange blue color, but the pancakes were still perfect to her. The meal was incredibly thoughtful and tasted lovely without feeling too suffocating.

The four of them had grown closer and Fynn had even started joining in on teasing Hamish more, much to Emilie’s delight. He still would flush anytime Emilie dared to poke fun at Vera but would turn absolutely scarlet when the woman teased his sister back.

But as the days wore on, Vera’s worry began to grow. The first few days she had thought the tiredness was just from the emotional and physical stress she’d been through in such a short time, but she knew better now.

She felt the nausea building before she quietly excused herself from dinner to relieve herself. She only allowed herself to stop and empty her stomach when she knew Emilie and Hamish wouldn’t be able to hear her.

Odin’s words were playing through her mind as she heaved. _‘It will accelerate your cancer, even now it grows._ ’ She had hoped that being without magic would help slow the cancer, but now that she had the ring, she could feel its effect on her body already.

It had been harder for her to keep pace with the others and the length of time they hiked had slowly gotten shorter each day. Being so drained, she would often find herself falling asleep earlier in the evening.

Her cancer had been steadily feeding off the ring’s proximity, slowly leaching away at her over the time it rested against her chest despite it not being worn. It really wasn’t incredibly noticeably, but _she_ should have noticed it sooner. She could feel the constant power of the ring as it lay on her chest. If she didn't think it would disappear, she would have removed it days ago.

She needed to get out of this damn forest and cast an enchantment to strengthen her body to slow the cancer down. Put up barriers that it would have to work through. It wouldn’t stop it of course, but it would slow it down significantly and allow her to hopefully be able to make it through the banishment and maybe for a short time after.

She had debated asking Fynn but she didn’t know of anything he could cast on her, they were self-specific incantations. Besides that, she couldn’t risk him asking questions or telling Hamish. None of them could know until _after_ the banishment. And preferably not even then. She didn’t want them to worry over something that couldn’t be fixed.

She knew if any of them found out they wouldn’t be able to go through with it. She could see they all worried about her making it through but believed she would. And because of that belief they were standing by her. If they knew that her death was unavoidable, they would undoubtedly find some way to stop her and she couldn’t allow that.

Once her stomach had emptied and stopped rolling, she wiped her mouth and stood on unsteady legs before turning. A quiet curse left her mouth the second she turned and saw him there. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them to meet his hard gaze.

Hamish had watched Vera’s face turn pale while they talked around the fire and began picking at her food. She excused herself and offered an almost believable smile that he would’ve fallen for if he hadn’t known her so well. He waited a few minutes before silently following behind her. When he saw her on her knees heaving, he’d found himself both worried and upset she was hiding it.

He stayed where he was with his arms crossed as she wiped her mouth and stood. Her quiet curse only irritated him further because he _knew_ she was trying to hide it from them. He continued watching as she opened her eyes and waited for her explanation.

“There was no need to follow me…” She snapped and she saw the hint of anger build in his eyes as he took a step towards her.

“Well clearly I was right to…” His tone was hard, and she immediately went on the defensive.

“Something I ate disagreed with me; I didn’t realize I had to tell you everything.” He paused in his approach before nodding slightly.

“I see, is this the same that’s been making you more tired recently?” He watched her shoulders drop slightly and her eyes closed again when she realized he’d noticed. His anger grew again and he couldn’t stop the harsh tone.

“Dammit Vera, you need to tell us if you’re sick, we can take a day to rest or find some way to help!” With her eyes still closed she shook her head, and he felt his anger fade. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked with worry as he quickly approached her and brushed the hair from her face.

“It’s the ring. Even though I’m not wearing it, it’s magic is still affecting me, making me weaker. We need to get out of the woods so my magic can return and I can put enchantments up to slow its effect on me.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” She allowed him to pull her into his chest tightly and held him to her.

“I didn’t want any of you to worry, especially when there’s nothing any of you could do. I need to be the one to cast the enchantments and I can’t do that until I get my magic back.”

“Still, you didn’t have to go through this alone.” He muttered as he pulled back and went to kiss her. She turned her head at the last minute, so his lips landed on her cheek instead. His hand came up under her chin and guided her eyes back to his questioning ones.

“I just got sick Hamish...” He smiled softly before he leaned in again and held her chin steady so he could kiss her lips.

“I don’t care.” He kissed her lightly again before pulling her back into his chest and rubbing his hand across her back. “You’re not in this alone Vera. We don’t have to tell the others, but I’m here for you. Let me help any way I can.”

She held him tightly as she controlled her breathing before pulling back. “We need to find our way out and fast. Everyday we’re in here, it’s getting worse.” His eyes took on a determined look as he nodded.

“We will, but you can’t push yourself during the day. Tell me when we need to stop. If it’s draining your energy, then you need to rest to preserve it. Promise me.” Vera met his gaze for several seconds before nodding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Vera just can't seem to catch a break!


	69. We're Here, We Made It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize...but I also really like this chapter so I'm only half apologizing...don't hate me...

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE

Four days later they were _still_ in the woods. It had been just under eight weeks since they first entered the woods and Vera and Hamish’s concern had grown each day. She had gotten sick a few more times after pushing herself and every time he gently lectured her that she needed to take it easy.

This time was slightly different. He had noticed when she’d slowed but refused to stop and very quickly shut him up when he tried to suggest it. Then less than an hour later she stopped suddenly with wide eyes, quickly dropped her pack and abruptly excused herself and ran into the woods much to Emilie and Fynn’s surprise.

They grew even more bewildered as Hamish’s face grew dark and he growled out a low curse before following after her. He found her several yards down kneeling behind a tree as she retched. His irritated growl couldn’t be stopped as he knelt down beside her to pull her hair from her face and rub her back.

“Don’t start Hamish.” She bit out between heaves and started coughing as she gagged. His hand on her back tightened slightly and he tried to calm the anger that was building.

“We should have stopped an hour ago Vera, and you know it.” She shot him a glare before leaning forward with the force of another convulsion, both arms wrapped tightly around her torso with the force of the convulsion. “You promised me you were going to take it easy! You _need_ to rest!” He snapped before breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself.

“What I _need_ is to get out of here! That’s the only thing that’s going to stop this.” She gasped out as one hand landed in front of her when another painful heave wracked through her. Her eyes clenched shut and her hand tightened around a rock on the ground as she bent forward again with choked coughs.

Hamish was about to respond when Fynn’s agonized cry broke through their heated argument. Both sets of eyes snapped towards the sound and saw Fynn writhing on the ground.

“Help him!” Vera demanded as she bent forwards again. “Hamish, help him!” Hamish looked completely torn before nodding and leaving Vera to try to help Fynn. He squeezed Emilie’s hand as she stood completely frozen in horror before bending down to check on Fynn.

The second he turned Fynn over his screams of pain stopped. He looked up confused and allowed Hamish to help him up. “Are you okay?” Hamish asked as he helped steady the younger man. Fynn looked confused but nodded hesitantly and released his hand.

The moment Hamish’s grip left his he felt the agony again and his hand reached out for his sister’s arm. He felt the pain stop as soon as his hand wrapped around her and his gaze snapped towards Hamish.

“We’re here, we made it.” He muttered before looking towards Vera who was bent forward and coughing as she clutched her torso tightly with the force of the heaving. “How did she get there without…” He didn’t get a chance to finish the question before Hamish was running towards Vera.

“Are you in pain?” He asked the second he dropped down beside her and saw the tears running down her face. She nodded before bending forward again on a vicious dry heave.

“I think my magic is coming back, my body’s trying to accommodate it.” She gasped out before a pained moan slipped from her lips and she heaved again. “Oh god.” She whimpered and tightened her grip on her torso to try to dim the pain ripping through her.

“Do you want me to carry you out?” His terror was growing as her panting increased. She nodded with a broken sob and he scooped her up before turning towards the others and signaling they follow quickly. Vera’s pained moans grew louder as they pushed further through the barrier.

Her eyes were pinched tight but the tears slipped from them. One hand had unclenched from her abdomen to grab his shirt in a death grip. He heard her choked _‘wait_ ’ and immediately stopped moving as she tried to take deep breaths through the agony.

“Rings, take off your rings.” The last word ended on a pained gasp as she curled further in on herself and buried her face into his chest as a sob tore from her lips. He looked back and saw both siblings had slipped their rings off before stepping closer to him.

Emilie’s tears were steadily falling as she looked down at Vera shaking slightly in his arms as she cried but she carefully set Vera’s pack down and reached out her free arm to support her so he could remove his own ring. Once all their rings were removed, he looked back towards Vera and asked if they should continue.

She nodded weakly and they quickly started out again as he realized she was about to pass out from the pain. He quickened his pace again hoping they would be out soon as Vera’s pained sobs turned to whimpers and began to slur. He felt Vera go limp in his arms and yelled for the others to hurry as he started running faster.

It felt like hours, but he was sure it was only a few minutes before he broke into the parking lot. He was relieved when he saw it was late enough that there weren’t any cars in the lot. He looked down at Vera passed out in his arms and felt his fear mounting before he heard the other two come up behind him.

“She should be fine in a few hours. Her magic returning so suddenly most likely overwhelmed her system. She needs to rest.” Fynn said after checking Vera’s pulse. Hamish’s grip tightened on Vera as they made their way to the car and he found himself praying to a god he didn’t believe in that she would be alright.

“I’ll drive, where are you guys staying?” Fynn asked as he opened the back door for him. Hamish gave the address as he carefully slid into the backseat. He gently shifted Vera so he could safely buckle her before he held her against his chest.

Her breathing was still slightly uneven, and he still felt her tremors every few minutes, but as soon as they’d gotten out of the woods she had almost immediately started to return to normal. She didn’t wake once the entire duration of the two-hour trip. Just turned into him with a quiet moan as he gently threaded his fingers through her hair.

The others opened the doors for him when they arrived and took care of wiping the memories and security tapes before they returned. When they came back with his and Vera’s gear, he had just finished changing her into pajamas and laying her under her covers.

Fynn walked forward and checked her over again before smiling. “She’s already doing much better. She’s going to be fine you guys.” Both Emilie and Hamish nodded absently while staring down at Vera, but by their faces he knew they wouldn’t calm down until she was awake.

“Would she mind if we stayed?” Emilie asked looking towards Hamish with hopeful eyes. He gave her a weak smile before shaking his head and ushering them out of her room so she could sleep. The door remained opened a crack so he would be able to hear her if she needed him.

Hamish dug through his bag and pulled out his phone before turning it on. He immediately put it on silent before the alerts started streaming in. There were a few from Jack asking for any status updates, but most were from Randall.

He took a deep breath before he started reading them, his face growing darker and darker the longer he read. After he read one message, he threw the phone onto the couch and stormed into the bathroom.

Fynn tried to stop Emilie from grabbing the phone, but she had watched as Hamish’s face went from humored, to irritated, to angry to absolute rage. She needed to know who was messing with him and put an end to it.

_‘Really Hamish? Two months! It’s been two months and still your chasing after her like some little lap dog just begging for attention. She’s not worth it! Your killing the knights of Saint Christopher for a nobody. Wake up and start acting like a leader before she gets us all killed!’ – Randall_

Emilie snarled as she read the response and felt Charlotte pushing to be released at her anger. Her eyes snapped towards Hamish as he walked out of the bathroom and his eyes connected with the phone in her hand.

He sighed as he walked closer and took his phone from her before walking towards his room. He heard her following right behind him and didn’t bother shutting the door. Ignoring the seething blond in front of him he dialed Jack’s number.

_‘Hamish? Thank god, we were starting to worry!’_

“Is he there?” He breathed deeply but knew the younger man had heard his growl.

 _‘Uh…yes?’_ Randall’s excited _'Ham-ster!'_ could be heard as he started running towards the phone and it sent Hamish's anger spiraling as his eyes silvered over.

“Call me when he isn’t.” He ordered before disconnecting the call. He looked down as the phone lit up a few seconds later and saw Randall was calling him. He grit his teeth and stretched his neck as he pushed Tundra back before declining the call.

Randall tried two more times after that before Emilie ripped the phone out of his hand on the third attempt and picked up.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you so take the hint and _stop_ calling!” She snapped before disconnecting the call and sitting heavily beside a chuckling Hamish. She glared up at him and crossed her arms. “I hate him.” She growled handing his phone back.

“He’s not always like this. He gets worried and lashes out. I told you already that the two of them don’t get along…”

“I don’t care, I still hate him. And she _is_ worth it. Even if _he_ can’t see how wonderful she is or doesn’t like her, _you_ do. That alone should make her worth it to him.” Hamish watched as her eyes turned silver and reached out to squeeze her hand.

“You guys got off to the wrong start. Once you get to know him, you’ll actually really like him.”

“Until he takes the time to get to know _her_ , I know all I need to know about him.” He was about to respond when his phone lit up again, this time with a text.

_‘Who’s the chick?” – Randall_

_‘A friend. We’ll talk later.’ – Hamish_

_‘A friend, mmhmm, sure. Have fun and don't let Severa find out. Call me when you’re done_ 😉’ _– Randall_

At his growl Emilie leaned over and went to snatch the phone again. Hamish’s reflexes were quicker however, and he held the device out of her reach. She raised her brow threateningly as she signaled the phone.

“I _hate_ him.”

“So do I sometimes. Just promise you’ll give him a chance when you meet him?” Emilie scoffed before crossing her arms indignantly and facing forward.

“Absolutely not.”

“Emilie!”

“ _No_!” She growled darkly and snapped her silvered glare at him. It really should be intimidating, but Hamish just found it adorable and actually started chuckling. She punched him lightly on the arm before turning to stew beside him.

“I _will_ however give Jack a chance…unless he’s also a jerk.”

“Good because Vera actually has a soft spot for him.”

“Then I’m sure _he’s_ a nice person, unlike _some_ people.” She was so adorably protective of him and Vera and he found himself encompassing her in a one-armed hug.

“Thank you. It’s good to know that she’s got someone else in her corner besides me.” She beamed up at him and nodded with a determined look.

“Always.” She promised and looked down as his phone lit up again. When he saw it was Jack, he answered, not bothering to remove his arm from Emilie.

“He gone?”

_‘Nah, I left. He was going on and on about you and some German girl.’_

“I told you, I hate him.” She glared up at Hamish who was clenching his teeth.

_‘There is a girl…okay…but I thought you and Vera…?’_

“We’re _friends_!” Emilie spat before Hamish reached up and covered her mouth with his free hand.

“Hush you.” He glared at her before yanking his hand away in disgust when she started licking it. “You’re absolutely disgusting…”

“Don’t try to cover my mouth next time!” She snapped back and they heard Fynn chuckling softly at the doorway.

 _“Never_ cover Em’s mouth unless you want a hand _full_ of spit.” Hamish reached over and wiped his wet hand on Emilie’s thigh as she smirked wickedly at the two

_‘Ummm…’_

“Sorry Jack, I am apparently dealing with a child right now. Ow! _Really_ Emilie?!” He barked as he glared back at Emilie who had just punched him, hard. “I’m on the phone, do you mind.”

“Not at all.” Emilie retorted before laying back on the bed, clearly intent to listen in and make a determination of Jack.

_‘So…friends? That’s good…’_

“They’re siblings. They were the one’s we’ve been traveling with. We just got back from the woods. You can tell Randall we’ve been trapped _without_ reception for the last two months, like I _said_ we’d be when we last talked.” He heard Emilie’s low rumbling and turned to her with a finger over his mouth telling her to reign Charlotte in.

_‘I tried to tell him. We had a run in with Praxis and just barely managed to make it out alive. He was convinced that if you were here you would’ve seen the trap he missed and avoided it. He was taking out his frustrations with himself on you. It wasn’t right, but he did apologize a few times after.’_

“Is everyone okay?” Hamish and Tundra both grew alert at the danger to the other knights.

 _‘Fine. Gabrielle was able to heal us both. She’s gotten better, although I never know when her and Randall are on or off.’_ He relaxed at the news and allowed himself to sink back on the bed beside Emilie.

_‘Did you find what you needed?’_

“It took a while, but we did. We’ll probably check in with the Temple tomorrow to see if they’ve got everything else. But it’ll be at least another ten days till we’re back.” His voice shook slightly as he thought about the upcoming ritual and felt Emilie inch closer to him until her head was resting on his shoulder.

 _‘What’s wrong?’_ Hamish released a shaky breath as Emilie clutched his free hand in silent support.

“This ritual is dangerous for all of us, but especially Vera. The last person to wield the power that she needs to died right after they completed the banishment. There’s a possibility she might not survive it.” Emilie’s hand tightened in his and it was the only thing that kept him from breaking down.

 _‘This is Vera Stone we’re talking about. Of course she’s going to survive. She’s too stubborn to let Kepler take over.’_ Hamish heard the certainty in his voice and actually laughed at the end as he felt the tightness ease from his chest. They were right, she wouldn’t let this kill her.

“Thanks Jack.”

 _‘Speaking of Vera though, how are things between you two?’_ He could hear the hesitancy in his voice and knew he didn’t really want to know _any_ details.

“Things are really good.” He offered with a happy smile knowing that was enough for the other man.

 _‘Good…so, anything else?’_ Jack never did do well with silent pauses.

“Not right now, I’ll let you know once we have a plan on where to go. Don’t let Kepler or anyone else know we’re back yet. Vera’s trying to recover from the return of her magic after being without it for two months. And make sure Randall keeps quiet too, that includes mentioning our return to Gabrielle.”

_‘Will do. It was good hearing from you. Stay safe.’_

“He’s alright,” Emilie muttered once the line went dead. Hamish smiled and nodded his head before sitting up. “She _is_ going to be okay Hamish.”

“I know. I’m going to go sit with her, you two are welcome to stay. We don't have any food in the fridge so feel free to order something if you want.” He squeezed Emilie’s hand once more and nodded towards Fynn before walking back into Vera’s room and shutting the door quietly behind him.

She barely stirred from her slightly curled up position as he climbed in behind her and pulled her back against his chest. Her breathing was steady, and her pulse had thankfully returned to normal. He brought his hand to hers that was resting low on her abdomen and threaded his fingers threw hers lightly before letting her breathing pull him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they're out of the literal woods, but definitely not the metaphorical one. My muse is quite literally getting ready to chuck all four of them into the metaphorical, possibly literal, fire. Jack and Randall make an appearance! And Emilie absolutely hates Randall, uh oh.
> 
> Also, I think I warned several chapters ago that part of 70&71 are already partially written and they're both tissue chapters...as a heads up


	70. Your Magic Was Gone, Vera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your tissues ready!

CHAPTER SEVENTY

Hamish woke the next morning when he heard the door shutting and the sound of grocery bags. Listening closely, he realized it was Emilie and Fynn coming back likely with items for breakfast. He tilted his head to see Vera was still in the same position, their hands still laced together over her torso.

He carefully nuzzled into her hair and took a deep breath, allowing her scent to ease his worry of what the day would bring. He felt her fingers twitch before she turned in his arms and snuggled into his chest.

“You really need to stop smelling me Hamish.” Her voice was thick with sleep as she nuzzled her face further into his chest and breathed.

“I'll stop if you stop” He chuckled as she let out a tiny mewl of disagreement before breathing deeper.

“No, calming.” She mumbled tiredly taking another deep breath and let out a low hum as he brought his hands up to stroke her back gently.

“How are you feeling?” She didn’t seem like she was in pain anymore, but her agonized cries from yesterday were still haunting him.

“Tired. A little sick. The buzz of my magic is back, it feels like all my nerve endings are firing at once.” She mumbled into his chest before pulling back. “I need to perform the enchantments.” She tiredly pushed herself up swaying slightly before allowing Hamish to sit behind her to support her.

“Can you grab the knife in the drawer?” Once she had it, she began slicing into her hand and speaking too quickly for him to follow. When she would finish one layer, she would heal her hand before cutting a new pattern.

After maybe fifteen minutes she sank against him and paused before performing the mind protection enchantment. She didn’t want to risk Amalie forcing her way in now that she had access again.

Her magic had hurt to use at first, her nerves were raw from the sudden return, but by the end it had felt like she had never lost it. She felt tired but refreshed at the same time as she rested against his chest. She could already feel the enchantments working.

“The things you’re able to do Vera truly are amazing.” She smiled softly at his awe and tilted her head to the side to look at him. He leaned forward and kissed her gently before she pulled away and crinkled her nose.

“I need to brush my teeth…and shower.” Her eyes lit up at the thought causing him to chuckle as he helped her up off the bed. She was just about to walk out of the room when she heard noises from the kitchen. Turning towards Hamish she saw he wasn’t concerned and realized it had to be Emilie and Fynn.

“They were worried, but Emilie is making breakfast.” He offered with a smile and watched her eyes twinkle at the prospect of food. “Go shower, it’ll be done when you finish.” He leaned in and kissed her once more before ushering her out the door and towards the bathroom.

Emilie and Fynn looked up and smiled widely when they saw Vera was looking back to her normal self. She said her good mornings quickly and continued towards the bathroom. Hamish walked around the island to start helping Emilie with her massive breakfast arrangement.

“Went a little overboard don’t you think?” He asked as he looked at the assortment.

“We’ve been eating the same things for the past two months Hamish. We needed some variety! Plus, you two needed some leftovers for during the ritual. There’s a bunch of dinner options in the fridge that Fynn helped pick, but I’ll leave the job of cooking that to you.”

Fynn was watching quietly as his mind replayed the events from yesterday. No matter how many times he replayed it, he couldn’t make sense of what happened. He watched Hamish and Emilie joke around for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.

“Hamish, can I talk to you for a minute?” They both looked up surprised at his tone, but Hamish nodded and followed Fynn to the other side of the apartment to where Emilie wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“What’s wrong?” Hamish asked seeing the confusion on Fynn’s face. He opened his mouth a couple times and flushing slightly. “Fynn?”

“Yesterday, Vera was getting sick.” Hamish nodded and waited for him to continue. “She was getting sick _in_ the barrier.” He trailed off hoping Hamish would make the connection.

“I know, we were all there.” He said confused. Fynn sighed uncomfortably before continuing.

“No we weren't. We weren't there until _after_ she had already entered the barrier and was actively getting sick.”

“Your point?”

“How did she get so far into it without you or Emilie?” He watched as Hamish’s face went from confusion to shock.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” He muttered as he stood before growing completely still as his face grew worried. Fynn was left staring at empty space as Hamish quickly made his way towards the bathroom. He heard Vera’s indignant _‘Hamish! Get out!’_ before there was silence on the other side of the bathroom.

“What was that all about?” Emilie asked when he made his way back to the kitchen.

“He just realized Vera somehow breached the barrier without either you or him.” Her stirring stopped and she turned wide eyes to him.

“But…how?”

“I have a theory, but I don’t really understand it.” Emilie waved the spatula at him aggressively telling him to get on with it. “She was really tired the days leading up to us getting out and was getting sick…could she be pregnant? Maybe a wolf child is enough to get through the barrier even if it isn’t actually a wolf? What?”

He watched as Emilie’s expression dropped at the suggestions. She looked towards the bathroom door and bit her lip before leaning closer.

“Please tell me you didn’t suggest that to either one of them Fynn? She can’t have kids. Hamish said she cast some type of enchantment on herself to prevent it and that there was no way to reverse it.”

“Maybe without her magic it didn’t work anymore?” Emilie’s eyes widened before she frowned deeply.

“But she was still in pain yesterday, I mean we were all there. You heard her cries of pain.”

“If her magic came back, so would the enchantment.” He muttered sadly and he watched as Emilie realized what he was suggesting and stepped back horrified as if the distance would stop his words from being true.

“No, no that’s not possible. You’re wrong Fynn…”

“Her reaction fits Em…vomiting and excruciating pain are both symptoms when you have a miscarriag…”

“I said _NO!”_ She growled and slammed the spatula down on the counter glaring at Fynn with silver eyes. “You’re _wrong_ so drop it and _never_ mention it again.” Fynn stepped back and raised both hands as he apologized.

* * *

Vera jumped and went to cover herself when the bathroom door opened abruptly until she saw it was Hamish and barked at him to get out. There was no way they were going to do this with Emilie and Fynn in the next room.

Her glare softened immediately as concern took over when she saw his frightened eyes. “Hamish? What’s wrong?” His eyes snapped to hers before shifting to her stomach and walking forward. “Hamish, you’re scaring me here…” She shifted uncomfortably as he walked into the shower fully clothed and placed a hand on her flat stomach.

“You didn’t need me to walk into the barrier.” He whispered looking up to meet her concerned eyes.

Vera felt her heart breaking as she saw the terrified longing in his eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking the second he said the words with his hand on her stomach. She brought both hands to the side of his head to pull his forehead to hers before she shook her head.

“It’s _not_ possible Hamish.” She felt his hand shaking from where it was resting on her stomach and closed her eyes against the pain the was coursing through her. He _wanted_ children.

He took a deep breath to steady himself before responding. “Your magic was gone Vera. The enchantment could’ve…” He broke off as her grip tightened and she shook her head again releasing a shuddering breath.

“My _access_ to magic was gone, the enchantments were still there.” He let out a choked breath and she clenched her eyes tighter to stop the tears threatening to fall.

“How do you know?” She felt a small sob escape at the desperation in his voice. He didn’t just want kids; he wanted a child _with_ her.

“Odin and Gilgamesh both felt another enchantment I had cast on myself and questioned me about it. They wouldn’t have been able to feel it if it wasn’t there. And if that one was there then this one had to be there too. They’re both eternal enchantments Hamish. Magic doesn’t get to pick and choose which ones it can shut off.”

She felt his silent cry as he pulled her into him. “I’m so sorry Hamish.” She cried into his shoulder as she held him tightly while he mourned the loss of a child he had desperately hoped was real. She sank onto the shower floor with him as he attempted to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry Vera. I knew but…”

“It’s okay Hamish, really. I can see how you got to the thought. I think it was a combination of having the ring and Gilgamesh’s permission to pass. He made it clear he created the barrier to allow his kin through and hinted that he was somehow linked to Odin's ring. When he healed me he did something else and I think it granted me access to pass. Fynn didn’t interact with him so he still felt it.”

It _did_ make sense. He healed her with his magic and let her live. Why would he bother healing her, but still allow the barrier to attack her? It also made more sense than a baby as werewolves are no longer passed down genetically. If there were a baby, it’d be a human not a werewolf so it wouldn’t do anything to help her pass. It would've been attacked just like Fynn was.

Still his heart was broken as that blond baby was snatched away from him again. How could you love something so much when it never even existed in the first place? How could you mourn the loss of it when it was never real, but the pain was?

Not finding answers, he pulled Vera closer to him and dropped his head to her shoulder as the water flowed over them. Both mourning, but for different reasons.

Hamish because of the loss of his and Vera's nonexistent child. Vera because she found she _wanted_ to give it to him, but there was no way. Even if she had never cast the enchantment, she would still be dead long before a child would be born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to go curl in a ball and cry now...expecting rotten virtual fruit to be flung at me...


	71. They Don't Deserve This, It’s Not Fair!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is still a bit sad, unfortunately...
> 
> I am loving everyone's responses and theories so much! Especially since I hit a bit of writer's block planning ch. 129...which I am still currently stuck in what exactly should happen in it (it's usually some bullets, a hint of dialogue, etc)...so hopefully this helps break through.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE

Emilie couldn’t find the strength to calm both herself and Charlotte down while they waited for Vera and Hamish to finish. The longer he stayed in the bathroom the worse the feeling in her gut grew and she found herself completely without an appetite.

Fynn had tried to apologize, but Emilie could see he still believed his theory even though he didn’t want it to be true. Fynn didn’t know about Vera’s daughter, he hadn’t made the connection to the Mother’s Day breakfast. Why would he? He just assumed she’d been practicing again like she always does.

She felt the crushing weight of the possibility of them realizing she had been pregnant only to lose their baby when her magic returned. She was finding it harder and harder to breathe as she thought about the pain they would be in if it were true.

Fynn washed the dishes and the mess she'd made when she slammed the spatula down as she sat completely still at the island before coming over and sitting beside her. He placed his hand on her shoulder only for her to shake it off violently as she stood. Her eyes were hard as she glared down at him despite the tears that were falling.

“Why did you have to bring it up Fynn? If neither of them knew and you believed she had lost it, why would you tell him?” Rationally she knew he didn't bring it up thinking she had a miscarriage. He didn't know about the enchantment till she told him. He just thought she was pregnant when they left.

But right now all she could think about was the longing on Hamish’s face when he told her Vera couldn’t have kids. The pain in Vera’s voice and her sobs as she talked about her baby to him. The anguish on their faces whenever the topic came up. Her tears were falling freely as she felt their suffering.

And now they were mourning the loss of a baby they hadn’t even known about until after it died. She shoved Fynn off of her as he tried to comfort her once again before quickly leaving the suffocating kitchen. She knew Vera wouldn’t accept her support, but Hamish would. And she knew he was going to need it.

She had been sitting on the spare bed with her legs drawn up and her head resting in her knees as she cried softly for an hour before she heard Hamish’s voice. A choked cry tore from her as she heard the poorly disguised pain in his voice.

He didn’t deserve this. _She_ didn’t deserve this. Wasn’t the loss of one baby enough?! Why did the world have to take another from her? She shoved her head further into her knees and tried to muffle the pain she felt over their suffering.

She heard the door shutting quietly and his steps as he approached the bed before sitting beside her. His hand came up to rest on her back and she let out a choked sob.

“It’s not fair!” Hamish pulled her into him and kissed the top of her head. When he’d finally been able to leave Vera so she could actually shower he saw Fynn sitting alone at the island looking devastated. When he’d heard Emilie’s cry after he started talking, he had pressured Fynn in to telling him what had happened.

His heart ached at the idea of the suggestion, but quickly put the younger man at ease telling him Vera’s theory. Fynn looked so relieved they hadn’t lost their baby, but it did little to ease the hurt in Hamish. After making sure Fynn wouldn’t bring it up to Vera, he made his way towards Emilie.

She loved so deeply and hurt so much when those she cared about were in pain. He couldn’t help but think of her as a little kid when he saw her curled up on the bed crying because of the pain him and Vera were experiencing.

Her exclamation tore through him and he fully agreed with it, but that's the way of the world. It was like a cruel drunk sometimes, never knowing when to stop punching. He tugged her into his side and released a deep sigh.

“There was no baby to lose Em.” She pulled back and looked at him with conflicted eyes.

“Are you sure? Without her magic, the enchantment could’ve…” She trailed off as Hamish shook his head and waited.

“Vera said just her access to her magic was severed, but the enchantments she’d cast were still there. Apparently both Odin and Gilgamesh sensed one of them and questioned her about it. She said if one was present, this one had to be as well. I _should_ be happy there wasn’t a baby because Fynn’s right about what her magic returning would do it. This way there’s no baby to mourn.”

Emilie heard the tremor in his voice and watched his eyes shut tightly before she leaned into him again. “But you’re still grieving it’s loss, aren't you?” Emilie confirmed and felt him nod as his grip tightened. “I’m so sorry Hamish.” She whispered and wrapped her arms around him as he fought for control.

“Is Vera okay?” She asked quietly after his breathing calmed.

“Kids aren’t something she wants to go through again Em. And she knew it wasn’t possible, so she never thought...she never hoped for it.” She sighed sadly against his shoulder before they heard Vera talking with Fynn.

“We’re going to be okay Em. Like I said before, she’s more than enough on her own.” She nodded but stayed quiet. “Come on, we don’t want to worry her, do we?”

“That’s manipulation Mr. Duke and I don’t approve of such uses.” She sent a mock glare his way as she lifted herself off the bed and grabbed his hand to pull him up and march out of the bedroom.

Vera looked up as Emilie stomped out dragging a chuckling Hamish and she paused in her explanation as a soft amused smile made its way onto her face before she got a good look at both their faces. Emilie had been crying.

She frowned and looked towards Hamish who shook his head slightly as he allowed Emilie to drag him the rest of the way to the kitchen. Vera walked up beside him and placed her hand on his back as she leaned into his side in silent comfort as Emilie pulled their plates out from the oven where they had been warming.

He looked down at her at the contact and smiled softly before leaning forward and dropping a quick sweet kiss to her lips. He felt the loss of her hand the second she pulled it away to start eating her breakfast.

“Did you update your wolves?” She asked before bringing a forkful of omelet to her mouth. She looked up with a raised brow at Emilie’s growl. The girl looked, and sounded, angry as she stuffed the eggs into her mouth.

“She doesn’t like Randall.” Hamish explained when Emilie continued to ignore the questioning look Vera was sending towards her. Emilie brought her fork down quickly and glared at him.

“He’s a jerk!” Vera’s wide eyes flicked between the two glaring wolves surprised to see someone other than herself that didn’t get along with the other Knight.

“I’m going to assume based off of this little display going on here that the answer to my question is yes?” She had the sinking suspicion that somehow Emilie’s hatred over Randall had something to do with _her_ strained relationship with Mr. Carpio. Hamish broke his glare with Emilie who quickly took another bite of her eggs.

“I talked with Jack last night when we got back. I let him know we got the item we were looking for and it’d be at _least_ another ten days untill we were back. He was also told to _not_ notify anyone that we’d gotten back so you shouldn’t have any calls from Kepler waiting for you.”

“Good, that means we can meet with Holger and the others before I’m stuck in conference calls all day. Will you two be ready after we eat?” She directed the question at the siblings who nodded.

“I’ll go let him know to expect us.” She excused herself and collected her phone on the way to her room. She was pleasantly surprised there really weren’t many messages waiting for her and felt a tiny twinge of guilt knowing Holger had likely dealt with all the calls.

 _‘Vera?! Oh thank god! We were so worried.’_ Holger greeted as soon as he picked up.

“We got out last night, but my body took some time to get used to the sudden return of my magic. Are there any updates?”

_‘We were able to find and capture eleven praxis members. Two killed themselves before we could bind them but we still have nine. They had joined Ishtar and were trying to build her a militia.’_

“Have there been any attacks on the Temple?” She was relieved when he’d answered. Even according to the Journals Ishtar had been slower to get started, calculating how best to attack, but when she chose to finally make her move it was violent and deadly.

_‘It started out as small skirmishes, like she was testing us. But she’s gotten bolder. We lost two Adepti the other day and she attacked a group of disciples this morning. Yara and Ivan were able to step in and save the one’s she had pinned. She fled, but she knows we have the rings now._

_'The students not in The Order were sent home earlier this week under the guise of a contagion. I moved all the disciples into the original vault with Adrian and the Adepti for their protection while we patrol. We didn't want to risk sending them home, she seems to sense magic. She’s going to be back Vera, and soon. Please tell me you were able to get it?”_

“We did. The other three are still here with me, we’ll head over now. Keep them safe until we get there Holger.” She hung up the phone with a curse before she walked to the bedroom door and opened it.

“Grab your plate if you’re not done, we need to leave. Now.” She ordered before quickly gathering what she needed. The other three sprang into action and in less than five minutes they were climbing in the car and heading towards the Temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh...things are not looking good for them at the moment...But you heard three new people get mentioned that are going to be coming in! Next arc starts now...I apologize in advance for the probably very high number of cliff hanger chapters...and pain...


	72. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block still has me firmly in planning Ch. 129...which is slightly concerning to me...but as long as I can continue to write the earlier chapters out I guess I have some time to break through.
> 
> Also, we get to meet so many new faces this chapter!

CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO

“It is crucial we say nothing about either of your wolves, Amalie, Gilgamesh or what you have witnessed between Hamish and myself. At the temple we must remain professional, I am Grand Magus or Magus, never Vera. You’ve all read the journal, so you know what to expect when you use your rings outside of the forest. I need you to help each other resist the temptations that will come from them. Can you promise me that?”

She turned towards them as she parked the car, and her Grand Magus façade was already firmly in places. The other three nodded but she could see the fear inching its way into their eyes.

“We _can_ defeat her. If we stick together and we focus on the banishment then we’ll succeed okay?” The fear retreated mostly from their eyes at her conviction and they nodded determinedly before opening their doors.

Vera looked up as she heard running and gave a sigh of relief as she saw the man. “Ivan, thank you for coming. Are the others inside?” She asked when he got close enough to hear her.

“There was a localized tremor not five minutes ago, she's on her way. I was instructed to wait for you while Yara, Camille and Holger do a final patrol to be sure we have everyone safe inside the Temple.” Just as he finished speaking another tremor shook the ground.

Ivan’s hands landed on her waist as she stumbled slightly, and she offered her thanks as she steadied herself. She looked down in confusion when she felt his fingers dig into her hips and thumbs stroking slightly. Her eyes zeroed in on the gold band on his middle finger.

“Ivan, get control of yourself!” She scolded as he forcefully pulled her flush against him before he jerked his hands away stepping back and blinked. Vera could feel Hamish’s eyes burning into her and silently ordered him to stand down with her hand behind her back.

“Fuck, sorry Vera. The journal wasn’t joking about the effects of these things. We’ve been trying not to wear them, but the past few days with her attacks we've been forced to. The rush of magic right after you put it on and a short time after is the worst to control. After wearing them for about twenty minutes, it gets a little easier unless something sets off a desire within you.” He apologized as he ushered them inside the Temple.

Hamish felt Tundra pressing against him as the man pulled Vera to him with lust in his eyes. He _knew_ it was the ring, but the desire to attack the man welled up. He felt Emilie’s hand grab his and squeeze it hard to stop him from stepping forward and to draw his attention away from Vera and Ivan to her.

 _"Knock it off. They can’t know!"_ She mouthed with hard eyes and he took a deep breath.

_‘Tundra, I need you to help me get through this. You heard Vera’s demands; we have to follow them. I’m counting on you to hold me back.’_

_“I don’t like it.”_ Tundra snarled in his mind before the man jerked his hands off of Vera and they both saw her silent order. _“I will do what I can. I don’t know how the ring will affect us now that we’re out of the forest.”_

 _‘Anything to help us make it through Tundra.’_ Hamish squeezed Emilie’s hand signaling he was okay before releasing it and following the others inside.

As they quickly walked towards the Original section of the vault, they could hear the frightened voices of the disciples. Hamish watched as Vera tensed with their fear before pulling herself taller and changing her walk from hurried to confident.

A man that looked to be in his mid-sixties met Vera at the barrier and shook her hand with a grin. “I told Holger you’d be back in time. He’s always _such_ a worrier. I don't know how he's managed without me for so long.” He chuckled as Vera handed him the ring she’d borrowed with a smirk. Hamish instantly liked the man when he saw the mutual respect and how comfortable Vera and him were with each other.

“Has he filled you in on our theory about the wards and our plan to try to expand them?” At his nod she smiled and walked further into the vault back to where the disciples were hiding. They immediately hushed when they saw her, and Hamish watched as some of their fear dimmed at her confident demeaner.

“Sorry it took so long, but we finally have everything that we need. We’re going to banish her, and you’ll all be back to your classes with plenty of time to take your year-end finals.” She gave a fake chuckle that only him, Emilie and it seemed the older man caught as several students groaned.

“I’m going to need you all to remain here until one of us says otherwise. The ritual today will take three hours once we begin and under _no_ circumstances are any of you to leave this section. Do I make myself clear?” She looked over the sea of frightened faces and felt her resolve strengthen.

“If you need anything while we’re performing the ritual, one of the Adepti present will assist you. As of right now _none_ of you are to perform magic of any kind for the duration of the ritual.” As she saw a few eyes rolls her mask grew harder.

“ _Anyone_ caught performing magic will be instantly demoted in rank with further punishment to follow. Is that understood?” Immediately everyone started nodding. “Good. Mr. Fischer if you would be so kind to assist me?”

The older man gave a half smile as he stepped up beside Vera and the two of them began casting layer after layer of protective, concealing and silencing enchantments on the students. What was left was a shimmering dome resting over the huddled group.

“Not a single one of you will leave this area. Is that understood? Good, as you were.” She excused herself and the second they stepped out of the barrier the whispering stopped and it looked like an empty room. He realized she was hiding their existence from Ishtar in the hopes to better protect them just in case the demon ward failed.

As they started back to the expansion point, she could heard the others making their way into the vault. She saw Holger first and couldn’t help the smile as he hurried forward and shook her hand while placing a kiss to both cheeks in greeting.

“It’s so good to see you Grand Magus.” She gave a small nod as he stepped beside her and the other two walked in. Once they were all within the original vault and their rings were off, she started speaking.

“I want to thank each of you for coming and spending the past several weeks defending This Chapter. It took longer than we anticipated, but we were able to obtain the final ring. With Ishtar’s attack this morning and her knowledge of the rings we cannot wait. We will begin the ritual shortly before she can launch an all-out attack on us.

“I know that the rings will demand a lot from us and the longer we use them the more difficult it will be, but I ask that you try to resist their pull as much as possible. If you see someone starting to slip up and you’re able to reign them in safely, please do. I also expect that _any_ actions we may take while under our ring’s sway will remain between us.”

She paused as she looked at each member with a hard stare and saw they were all in agreement. She did a quick double take as she watched Camille eyeing Hamish with interest. Did she know he was one of the wolves?

“As for introductions. You all already know Holger and myself. This is Adrian Fischer, previous Temple Magus for the German chapter. Camille Dupont from the French chapter. Ivan Martins and his sister Yara Martins from the Brazilian Chapter.” She signaled to each person before turning towards her little group.

“And the ones that assisted Holger and myself in breaking the enchantments on the ring's box and that have been accompanying me on my search for the master ring. Emilie Brandt and her brother Fynn Brandt from the German Temple.” Emilie smiled widely and offered a quick wave that had Vera fighting back the smile trying to break onto her face.

“And Hamish Duke from the Belgrave Chapter.” He gave a quick nod, but Vera’s attention was drawn towards Camille as the younger woman stepped forward with a smile and held her hand up to Hamish in greeting. She knew the French chapter believed Belgrave had wolves and Vera was concerned Camille knew Hamish was one of them.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Her smile widened as Hamish returned the greeting and Vera felt a twinge of irritation stirring. _Control yourself Vera!_ She scolded and forced herself to break her glare with a slight shake of her head and continued.

“We are going to move into the next section of the vault in an attempt to expand the demon wards. We will be vulnerable but it’s too great an opportunity to pass up. In addition, as we must start with a summoning to banish her and the current wards should prevent that, it must be done. No matter what happens to any of us during the ceremony, I need each one of you to stay in your place. Once we start, the rings will take what they need from us to finish it.”

She watched Hamish flinch and his eyes met hers before he gave a small nod acknowledging the promise he’d already made to her. She turned to Holger and instructed him to bring out the first sacrifice before leading the others to the area they had set up.

She organized based off of chapter, but it was an excuse to ensure she was beside Hamish. She knew he needed to be near her for this for both his and Tundra’s peace of mind. It was a small thing that she _could_ give him.

She grit her teeth slightly as Camille walked up on Hamish’s other side and gave his arm a squeeze with a quick word of encouragement. Or maybe she didn't know about him being a wolf, Vera doubted Camille would be flirting with him if she knew. She forced herself to breathe normally through the irritation and signaled the others to join the circle fully.

Emilie nonchalantly walked up and stood on her other side offering an encouraging smile only she would be able to see. Vera could almost feel the tension fade slightly from Hamish with the knowledge that she was protected on both sides.

When Holger and Adrian returned with the bound and masked sacrifice, they laid him in the middle of the circle directly over the symbol that had been carved into the floor before stepping into the gaps left for them.

Vera looked around once more allowing her eyes to linger on each face starting with Emilie, then Fynn, Holger, Adrian, Ivan, Yara, Camille and finally Hamish. He offered her a reassuring smile and she instructed them to get ready to slip their rings on.

“Three, two, one…” All nine slipped their rings on and felt the magical energy wash over them.

* * *

Adrian Fischer

Camille Dupont

Ivan Martins - Just without the tattoos (though as a tattoo person, I totally love him and all of his tattoos)

Yara Martins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a bit of Hamish AND Vera jealousy going on it this chapter...and I must say, I LOVE it.
> 
> Adrian...well he is just as forceful as Emilie and becomes a much bigger (and lovable) character than I originally intended. He is exactly like the casting image. Camille is also basically exact. Yara and Ivan are a bit different than what I was imaging, but similar enough.


	73. Protect The Brandt's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...you all ready to hate me...you should definitely get ready to hate me...though really it's my muse's fault...
> 
> Also, I FINALLY got out of the writer's block jail with planning Ch. 129 (surprisingly when I finally rage quit and decided to try making homemade bread (with fresh homegrown Rosemary) for the first time. It turned out pretty damn good if I say so myself) ! I'm now into 130.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE

Vera’s ring landed first and the force of the magical power that washed over her had her bending forward slightly. She could feel the power within her increasing as each of the lesser rings found their places and she curled in further upon herself. She could feel the strengthening magic rushing through her veins until it was a full-blown maelstrom of power.

The first two barriers she’d enacted on herself earlier shattered with the power and she released a surprised gasp. The other protective enchantments were still present, but she knew now that they’d likely be broken before today’s ritual was finished.

“Grand Magus?” Hamish’s voice broke through the swirling magic and she pulled herself upright to meet his concerned gaze. She was happy to note that he seemed okay and he wasn’t showing _too_ much concern for her, but she could see it lurking beneath the surface of his blue eyes.

She offered a small smile before looking around at the others. Everyone but Hamish and Emilie seemed to be struggling to get control over the additional magic the rings provided. Their wolves must be helping them somehow. Perhaps sharing the load between two consciousness override the ring’s effects?

Adrian was next to open his eyes and stiffen his posture in preparation for the ritual. She was slightly surprised by how quickly he’d gotten control as he _hadn’t_ been using the ring while they were away. Though they had chosen him because of his knowledge, magical power and iron strong self-control. Holger followed and gave her a tight nod before getting into the same position as Adrian.

Yara’s hands shook slightly, but she gave a confident smile as her stance widened and looked towards her brother with a raised brow. The second Ivan’s eyes opened he looked towards his sister and scowled as she gave a victorious smirk. Vera was struck with the sudden thought that their relationship was very similar to Fynn and Emilie's.

She heard Emilie whispering to Fynn and turned towards the young man to see his eyes and fists were clenched tight. Emilie gripped his arm roughly and his eyes snapped open. With a stretch of his neck, he turned and nodded towards Vera.

Vera turned her gaze towards the last member and couldn’t stop the scowl that crossed her face. Camille’s hand had reached out to Hamish to steady herself and being the perfect gentleman that he was, he had brought his hands up to help her.

She cleared her throat loudly and saw Camille’s hand tighten on his arms and her head shake as she finally opened her eyes. She gave Hamish a small smile and thanked him before pulling her hand away, a little too slowly for Vera’s liking.

When she saw the woman nod towards her, signaling she was ready, Vera tore her gaze from her and brought both her hands up and to the sides. She could feel the magic flush through her as she began speaking and it was absolutely wonderful.

Her eyes closed as her head dropped back slightly in pleasure before roughly shaking her head to clear the euphoria and continued. Again, she felt the rush as the other’s joined in. She knew the second Hamish joined in and not because she heard him speaking beside her.

Her body recognized his magic from their past link. A low moan slipped from her lips that only Hamish and Emilie would be able to hear thankfully. The flush that spread across her chest however was clear to all thanks to the low cut shirt she’d chosen.

She cleared her throat around the arousal that had slammed into her at his magic and blushed slightly knowing Hamish and Emilie could probably smell her. Her eyes closed as another wave of his magic washed over her but she forced herself to continue with the summoning.

She felt the ground beginning to tremble slightly beneath them and her eyes snapped open. She could feel her growing near. She saw Emilie and Hamish tensing beside her and knew they could as well, either because of her reaction or they could actually sense her.

“Get ready.” Vera shouted and the words themselves were thick with magic that washed over the group. She saw the other’s eyes close briefly, some in pleasure, some in concentration before her eyes connected with Ivan’s and felt one of the steady waves flowing through her jump drastically.

Her head tilted while keeping her gaze connected with him. She watched as his stare filled further with lust and felt the magic line pulse deliciously through her again. His eyes traveled down her body before slowly rising back up. She watched his teeth drag over his lower lip between his words as another strong wave of his magic shot through her.

The magic felt absolutely wonderful and she found herself slowly wetting her lips as she stared at him hoping to feel another wave from his line. She did but Ivan’s, along with the seven other threads were suddenly drowned out by _his_ flooding her system. Her eyes closed and another quiet moan tore through her.

She could barely feel the jump in Ivan’s because Hamish’s was drowning it. She opened her eyes and turned her heated gaze towards Hamish and saw the jealously behind his eyes as he glared at Ivan. She didn’t think even she would’ve been able to pick up on the very real threat he was sending the other man if she hadn’t been able to sense his magic.

As she looked around, she felt Hamish’s line start to dim and the other currents began to pulse through her again. A new thread skyrocketed, and she searched the faces trying to place the owner as the pleasure swept through her. Her low quiet growl slipped from her lips as she found Camille hungrily eyeing Hamish.

She was thankful the growl wouldn’t be heard by anyone other than the two wolves. Hamish’s current immediately flared again at her growl however and her eyes slipped closed with a ragged gasp. It stayed at the same steady level continuing to drown out the other ripples and she found herself growing used to the magic.

And then she felt it. The oppressive force swept the bliss from her in a moment as the other’s felt her presence. Their lust faded and their threads became little more than wisps of crippling fear. Only two lines remained coursing through her with any strength and she knew the new one was Emilie’s.

Vera could feel the fear in both their magic, but the dominating force was defensive. She watched their stances change slightly, angling themselves just enough that they were facing her more than the center of the circle. She could feel their magic pulsing dangerously within her as the presence grew stronger.

She looked up with the two beside her and watched as Ishtar sauntered towards them. Every step the demon took was accompanied by a violent quake of the ground beneath them.

Ishtar tilted her head up and to the side slightly, just enough that she could look up through her lashes. Vera watched as a wicked smirk spread across Ishtar’s face before she was encompassed in a green aura and her hair began to billow around her.

“You summoned me; but do you have the power to hold me?” Vera felt Ishtar’s magic slam into her as she met her gaze with the question. She watched as Holger, Ivan, Yara, Fynn and Camille dropped to their knees with the force of the demon’s magic.

Emilie’s legs buckled slightly but Vera heard the almost silent growl from Charlotte before the girl’s legs became stable beneath her. Ishtar’s eyes immediately zeroed in on Emilie at the low sound and her eye’s sparkled with mischief.

Vera sensed the budding magic from the demon before her and knew the target before she finished lifting her hand. By the time the green curse left Ishtar’s hand, Vera was already in front of the girl with hands splayed dissolving the curse with a self-protective sheild.

“Well done _Grand Magus_. You knew a simple shielding charm wouldn’t have worked. I must say, I’m impressed.” The demon taunted as she sauntered closer.

“Yes, I do suppose you must be smart for Odin to release his treasure to you. Tell me though, which one is she?” Ishtar asked pointing a finger towards Emilie without breaking eye contact with Vera who was still standing in front of the girl.

“Now Adrian.” Vera commanded as she continued to shield Emilie who was apologizing lowly for drawing attention to herself. Adrian made quick sweeping motions with his hands and arms as he spoke and immediately nine lines of blood began to flow from the silent writhing victim towards each of the ring bearers.

“Oh, come now, don’t be shy. Had I known about you when I broke free, I would have _loved_ to catch up with you.” Ishtar taunted Emilie while walking around the circle with a sinister grin. Vera watched as Fynn fought through the oppressive magic to stand defensively in front of his sister, knowing Vera couldn’t leave her posting and change the order now that they had started.

“Still alive, are you? Ready for round two?” Her peals of laughter echoed off vault walls as a few artifacts fell from the shelves. She brought her hand up and snapped her eyes towards Vera as both brows raised in an amused challenge.

Vera felt the strength of the magic, she knew Fynn wouldn’t be able to stop it and she felt the fear rush through her. Hamish’s grip on her elbow halted her steps that she hadn’t even realized she’d taken as she shouted Fynn’s name in warning.

She watched in terror as the bolt shot from Ishtar’s hands and headed straight for Fynn’s chest, Charlotte’s growl was drowned out by Emilie’s scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me - Protect Fynn and Emilie please!!  
> You all - Protect Fynn and Emilie please!!  
> My muse - Put them directly in Ishtar's line of sight and in imminent danger? You got it!


	74. You, My Dear, Should Be Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of important stuff is brought up in this chapter...but also...sorry?

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR

Vera sent a strengthening spell towards Fynn in a hope that it would be enough to keep him alive, but the blast never connected with him. Instead Holger was standing on shaky legs with a furious expression on his face as he caught the blast and suffocated it in his hands with his own enchantment.

They watched the irritation flitter across Ishtar’s face before she raised a brow and twirled around with her finger to her lips. Vera’s relief was noticeable to anyone watching and she saw Emilie reaching out to clasp Fynn’s hand. She had been worried Charlotte had taken over, but Emilie had been able to control her.

“My my _Magus,_ you are stronger than you look.” She said giving a once over of Holger before looking over each of them present. Vera felt the dread welling up in her as Ishtar’s eyes connected with Hamish’s hand still on her elbow. Ishtar raised a brow and grinned as she looked towards Vera with a cocked head.

“And _what_ do we have here _Grand Magus_?” Vera felt the demon's magic stirring again but couldn’t place it. She didn’t know what to counter with. And she knew Ishtar knew that from her delighted expression. Vera took a step towards Hamish ready to shield him and absorb the blow like she had with Emilie.

As soon as she stepped out of from in front of Emilie she realized it’d been a trap. She couldn’t place the spell because there wasn’t one. She grit her teeth in frustration as she tried to change direction.

Hamish heard Vera casting the body protection incantation again and because of Tundra he was able to see the demon's feint. Realizing what Ishtar was about to do when Vera stumbled slightly as she quickly tried to change direction, he pushed Vera in front of Emilie and held her steady as she absorbed the green bolt.

Vera looked towards him with a grateful expression and he dropped his hold on her elbow as he prepared for the next attack. Ishtar’s fury slammed into the two of them and Emilie grabbed Vera as she fell against her to keep her upright.

Ishtar's hate filled glare snapped towards Hamish who had dropped to a knee at the sudden outburst of agony. Vera’s eyes were wide, she hadn’t felt _anything_ from the demon. She watched as Camille pulled her knife out and slit her palm before grabbing Hamish’s wrist. She slit his palm and clasped hands connecting their magic before sending an attack spell at Ishtar.

Ishtar flew back several feet which gave Hamish the reprieve he needed to stand. He pulled Camille up beside him and brought his hand to her back as the woman stumbled slightly. When she met his gaze and nodded, he returned it before dropping his hand from her back and turned towards Ishtar.

Vera tore her gaze from Hamish and Camille to see Ishtar pulling herself into a sitting position with fury on her face. Vera watched as the demon's legs crossed and her hands came up on either side of her and Vera’s panic grew. She knew that position.

 _“No!”_ She shouted and began desperately trying to spin protective barriers but she didn’t have enough time to finish before Ishtar’s eyes opened again with a smirk. Both Emilie and Hamish dropped to the ground in convulsions.

She watched as Ishtar’s eyes widened seeing the two on the ground and her smile grew looking up towards Vera. “You have _two?_ Let’s see _which_ two, shall we?” She asked and Vera saw the green aura burst from the demon as her hair whipped around her.

The next thing Vera heard was the agonized screams of Emilie and Hamish as Ishtar tore their Wolves out of hiding. Tundra and Charlotte’s pained growls filled the room, but they both _tried_ and failed to stand through the pain.

“Charlotte _and_ Emerson? This _is_ a shock. How were you able to unite such enemies?” Vera dropped to her knees between the writhing wolves.

“Tundra, you know what to do. Charlotte, I need you to fight to let Emilie surface so I can help.” Vera implored and the tan wolf nodded painfully before closing her eyes. Vera brought a hand to each of the wolves' foreheads while watching Ishtar for the next attack.

The second she felt the fur melt to skin, she caught them both and sapped half of the pain from them. With this ring she was able to absorb focus from both of them, but the agony now being directed towards her was doubled, giving her the full force of the attack and the pained yell ripped from her lips as she focused on keeping the link active.

“Ivan. Yara.” She gasped out. They had chosen the two of them because of their skill to weave protective barriers during active attacks. She forced her eyes to remain open and focused on Ishtar until the pain stopped. She met the older sibling's eyes quickly and nodded in thanks as she saw the blood flowing from their combined hands.

She felt the sudden spike in Camille’s thread and snapped her gaze towards the woman. She roughly growled her name when she saw the woman bringing her hand towards Hamish’s naked back. Camille’s eyes flicked towards her and she immediately pulled her hand away from his skin and tried to shake the ring induced lust from her mind.

As Hamish pushed off the ground Vera felt her own arousal growing as her eyes traveled down his naked front. She was both thankful and furious when she felt Yara and Camille’s thread’s force their way through her and stopped her from giving in to her arousal. She saw both of them were looking at Hamish’s naked front ravenously.

Her irritation came out as a bark to _focus_ as she conjured robes around Emilie and Hamish blocking them both from view. She was beyond grateful that she hadn’t felt any of the men’s strings jolt with Emilie because she didn't think she would’ve been able to stop herself from attacking any of them for eyeing the innocent girl.

Vera looked back towards Ishtar and saw Holger and Adrian had linked their magic and were using the same enchantment Holger had used to snuff out the attack but were focusing it on Ishtar. Vera noticed she wasn’t fighting them though; she was staring at Vera as she lounged back on both her hands.

Vera felt Ishtar's magic build and watched as she pushed herself up against the barrier. It took her a little bit of effort, but Vera felt the depth of the demon's magic and knew she wasn’t trying nearly as hard as she could. Once she was standing fully upright she distractedly flicked her wrist and the barrier surrounding her shattered.

“You were the human I sensed when I broke free. You’ve done this before, but with just one wolf. Was it Emerson?” She asked looking at Hamish briefly before turning back towards Vera with her head tilted.

“What you did just now is impossible. No human can survive the full force of a wolf attack like you just did. And you’re _not_ a wolf otherwise you would’ve succumbed as well.” She twirled again before eyeing Vera up and down calculatingly. “ _You_ my dear should be dead, even _with_ Odin’s precious prize.”

Vera’s eyes widened in shock as she felt Hamish and Emilie step closer to her at the thought that because of her aiding them just now she could have died. _Should_ have died apparently. Ishtar paced back and forth before freezing and looking at Vera with wide furious eyes.

“ _He_ aided you, didn’t he? That abomination is still alive, and you found him somehow, didn’t you?!” She snarled as she charged towards Vera. Tundra and Charlotte’s snarls tore from their champions as Hamish and Emilie stepped closer to Vera getting ready to defend her.

Ishtar’s momentum was stopped abruptly and they saw the shimmer of the field where she connected. Vera looked back and saw that Adrian and Holger along with Ivan and Yara were linked and spinning protective wards around the three of them as Ishtar pushed. Fynn sliced his hand and Holger's arm before linking his magic to Holger and Adrian’s while Camille did the same to Yara and Ivan.

Ishtar pushed harder against the twinned barriers and Vera watched as they started splintering with the demon’s rage. Adrian thankfully saw it as well and instructed Ivan to link with him. Vera felt the burst of magic well up as the other six linked and the barrier glossed over.

Ishtar growled before her aura grew brighter and Vera felt her reaching further into her magical reserve, but still not to it's bottom. Vera took a deep breath before shutting her eyes and focusing on Emilie and Hamish’s threads.

_‘On my signal, I need you to link with the others. She’s going to break through with just them. To keep the barrier enforced, I need you two to add your magic to theirs. She’s after me right now, not you. Don’t argue and don’t hesitate.”_

She watched their gazes snap to hers and felt both threads spike with worry before she felt their submissive agreement. Vera took a steadying breath with closed eyes before signaling them and glaring at Ishtar.

The wards flickered as they left it and Ishtar’s hand was able to break through and land so it was just barely touching Vera’s throat. Hamish growled darkly but Vera’s eyes snapped to his, demanding he do as she ordered.

She felt their magic connect with the other’s as her hair lifted from her shoulders as if a fan had been turned on in front of her. Her eyes began to glow a faint gold and the air around her crackled lowly as the barrier burned brighter.

The effect on Ishtar was immediate. Her eyes flamed in fury as the barrier began searing into her arm. Vera smirked wickedly without stepping back even an inch as the demon fought the pain of the barrier cutting further into her arm.

With a vicious growl she tore her arm free and began to pace around Vera with a hand to her chin. When she completed a full circuit, she brought her other hand to the barrier and started running her finger along it as she looked coyly up at Vera through her lashes.

“I have a proposition for you.” She turned to face the group as she leaned her back against the barrier. “I’ll even offer to return to my realm.” Ishtar looked over her shoulder to meet Vera’s eyes. “Or I can kill _every single one of them_ while they try to keep me from you.” Vera felt the truth in the demon’s words and her eyes grew wide with fear. “Now, are you ready to listen?” Ishtar asked looking at Vera over her shoulder with a dark grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fynn is still alive! For now at least...? Both wolves have been discovered...not so good...Vera had a level up (maybe two?) and should have died from that attack...what is even happening right now?! Also, Ishtar, if you could maybe not threaten everyone, that'd be great...


	75. Seduction For Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I didn't lose you guys last chapter, this arc is a LONG one where a ton of stuff happens and answers to a bunch of questions from throughout the story (including ones that arise throughout this arc) will be given over the course of the entire arc...
> 
> This one got a bit weird, but I have to say I actually really like it...except for the ending...
> 
> Hopefully there aren't a ton of typos, super long day at work today and no sleep last night (or Monday night) but I wanted to get this one out before I try to pass out for a few hours.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE

Vera looked at the eight members before her and saw the same emotions she was experiencing. Suspicion, fear, anger, disbelief and hope that maybe they wouldn't actually have to fight her. She turned back to Ishtar who had closed her eyes and was twirling a lock of long raven hair around her finger.

“I’m listening.” Ishtar grinned seductively as she turned and draped her arm around the barrier as if she were leaning it against Vera’s shoulders.

“Wonderful. It’s simple really, I need you to lure that monster out from wherever he’s hiding. Once he’s no longer protected, I’ll finally be able to take care of him and will be on my way.” Vera’s head tilted as she contemplated the words. She knew Ishtar was talking about Gilgamesh, but she seemed too unconcerned. She was hiding something.

 _“How_ will you take care of him?” Ishtar rolled her eyes in exasperation as she brought her free hand up to inspect her nails.

“I plan to strip his wolf from him. The process will kill him and once that’s done I will _happily_ go back to my realm and stay there.” Vera looked the demon up and down before a sudden familiar weight began pushing against her mental ward. Her eyes turned hard as she recognized the presence and remembered the images that were shared.

Vera wiped imaginary lint from her shirt to appear unbothered as she spoke. “Out of curiosity, how will you strip the wolf from him?” She heard the slight growl from the demon and knew her line of questioning was right.

“That doesn’t concern you…”

“Oh, come now, don’t be like that. Humor me.” Vera purred back in that same sultry tone Ishtar had used previously as she brought a hand up and slowly trailed two fingers along the low cut of her shirt. She felt the spike in Ivan and Hamish’s threads at her tone and actions, but she kept her seductive look aimed at the demon in a hope of luring her into her trap.

Ishtar’s eyes followed Vera’s fingers and she watched as the flames flickered in Ishtar’s eyes. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips before she pushed herself up from the barrier and slowly walked around Vera once more. Vera felt the demon’s eyes roving over every inch of her as she took her time to walk around the barrier. Vera could clearly see the arousal on Ishtar’s face as she walked back to face her before leaning in against the barrier.

“I’ll tell you what, an easier deal first. I stop talking and kill them _now_ or they drop the enchantment on you, and I promise not to harm you in any way while we negotiate.” Vera felt Hamish’s line flare with fear and refusal, but she watched Ishtar’s eyes drop to her lips again.

Vera could feel the truth of Ishtar's words. She could also already feel the link fading as Hamish and Emilie healed. The demon wanted her and she could use that to her advantage.

“Who decides the end of the negotiation?” Vera asked while she bit her lip lightly while dropping her gaze to Ishtar’s lips to lure her in. She watched as irritation, amusement and pure lust crossed Ishtar’s face at her question.

“You _are_ a clever one.” Ishtar’s flames went out in her eyes and Vera saw the dark pools. She knew she was successful in luring her in, now she just had to hold her there.

“Very well. I swear no harm will come to you until _you_ end the negotiation. Whether that be with an answer or you _or_ any of your underlings attempt to attack me. Deal?” Vera looked at the others and could see Hamish’s wide fearful eyes as he shook his head no. Holger was also adamantly shaking his head no.

She looked over the others and saw Ivan’s eyes were black and zeroed in on her hand’s motions along her chest. She was thankful and anguished that Hamish’s fear for her was drowning out Ivan’s lust within her.

It was Adrian, Fynn and Emilie that understood why she was contemplating it. She was buying time for them. Not only to reform the bond, but they knew that any time spent distracting Ishtar was time they wouldn’t have to fight her as the rings worked on the ritual.

She made eye contact with them, lingering on Emilie and received their resolute nods. She looked back to Ishtar and felt Hamish’s fear spike as he realized what she was about to do.

“Deal.” She purred pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she felt the link dissolve. Only Hamish’s protective barrier remained, and she fought to keep the despair over worrying him from her face. Ishtar advanced hungrily and raised an amused brow when she bumped the ward.

“Everyone.” Vera ordered without removing her eyes from the demon. She felt Hamish’s magic flare within her before he severed the barrier and immediately Ishtar advanced on her.

The demon’s lips landed firmly against Vera’s pulling out a surprised moan of pleasure as Vera sank into the kiss. Vera’s hands tunneled through Ishtar’s hair as she pulled her flush against her. All thoughts of a plan were wiped from her mind. All she wanted was the being before her. She couldn’t get enough of her.

And then she felt it. Hamish’s magic washed over her like a bucket of cold water, and she pulled herself from the demon’s lips with a pleasured gasp. She trailed her lips across Ishtar’s jaw to her neck as she pulled her closer to her and looked straight to Hamish to assure him she was okay. She heard the demon’s moan as she brought her lips to her ear.

“We’re supposed to be negotiating, remember?” She whispered in a seductively amused voice and captured her lobe with her teeth before returning to her neck. She could feel Ivan and Hamish’s arousal surging with her actions, but she still felt _his_ fear with it helping to keep her grounded.

 _‘I’m okay Hamish. Just be ready.’_ She promised Hamish and felt his fear lessen. Vera snaked her hand under the back of Ishtar’s shirt and gently scraped her nails down her back earning a panted gasp from Ishtar. Vera felt her back connect with the pillar behind her as Ishtar lowered her lips to her neck.

She immediately found her weak point and Vera’s legs buckled as a throaty moan broke from her. Ishtar caught her with a leg between her thighs and Vera couldn’t stop her hips rocking at the contact. She felt Hamish’s jealous arousal flood through her at the noise and motions allowing her to surface from the ocean of pleasure the demon was inflicting on her to the point she was able to continue questioning her.

“How do you plan to strip Gilgamesh of his wolf?” She asked between pleasured gasps as Ishtar began kissing and sucking lower across Vera’s chest. Ishtar pulled away from her chest and fisted her hand in Vera’s hair to meet her eyes. She leaned in closer to Vera until their lips were a hair’s breadth away.

“By ending the curse I inflicted upon him.” She mumbled before her lips connected. Again Vera was sucked in and a hand to Ishtar's ass to pull her in closer. She felt Ishtar’s hand slide under her shirt collar to cover her breast before she squeezed, swallowing her moan of pleasure while her other worked it’s way around her back. Ishtar's hand slid under her shirt and rolled her fingers firmly across the weak point along Vera's spine.

Vera rocked against Ishtar’s thigh as she broke the kiss with a deep graveled moan, her head falling back to rest against the pillar. The second her lips with free and Hamish’s jealous magic surged through her again, she came to her senses and slowed her hips movements. She lifted her head with heavy breaths and dark eyes to meet Ishtar’s gaze.

“And what of his line? What happens to them?” Ishtar growled at Vera’s question. “We had a deal, didn’t we?” Vera hummed trailing her finger down the center of Ishtar’s chest as she dropped her mouth to her neck again and bit down gently on her pulse point. A moan slipped from Vera’s lips as she Hamish’s arousal flushed through her again.

Ishtar’s fingers dug into her hips and jerked her forwards against her thigh at the moan. “I just want him.”

“Not me? I have to say, I'm disappointed.” Vera pouted while raking her nails down Ishtar's sides before pulling her closer. She felt the demon shiver in her arms before she was pressed back against the pillar, one leg now lifted to rest against Ishtar's hip.

“Isn’t the curse passed down by blood? If you end the curse, wouldn’t all the wolves be removed?” Vera quickly captured her ear again as she brought her hand up the front of Ishtar’s shirt to cup her breast hoping to distract her enough to answer. Ishtar moaned deeply and lifted Vera's other leg as she stepped further against the pillar so one of her hands could trail up the underside of Vera's thigh and rest against her ass.

“I promise to not go after anyone with his blood. I promise they will remain safe. Deal?” Vera felt the desperate pressure at her mental wards again, but she didn’t need Amalie’s warning. She had been able to spot Ishtar’s loophole herself.

“Mmmhmm. Clever, but there’s a problem with that.” She felt Hamish’s magic flaring within her as he made the connection and knew Vera was about to end the charade. He was preparing.

“You see, because of the loophole you used when Empress Amalie reached out to make a deal to protect her children, _none_ of the wolves are passed through blood anymore, are they? Meaning none of them would be protected.” Ishtar yanked herself from Vera’s grip and glared at her with shock and outrage. Vera managed to catch herself before she fell, but stayed leaning against the pillar with a brow raised in challenge.

“How would you know about that deal?! How would you know what that pathetic beast wished for? As soon as their hides took a new host, their memories would be lost of their original lives. I made sure of it. _All_ memories even close to that event were wiped from the mongrels.” Vera felt Hamish and Emilie’s magic flooding within her and pushed herself off of the pillar and stalked towards Ishtar confidently.

“You _didn’t_ get everyone. You want to eradicate _all_ of the wolves once and for all, taking their champions with them, am I right?” Ishtar’s eyes grew hard as the flames burst forth again and she raised her hand to attack Vera who just smirked.

“We had a deal remember? _I_ choose when to end the negotiation, not _you._ And I haven’t given an answer yet nor attacked you.’ Ishtar’s arm faltered as the attack failed before a wicked look crossed her face.

“I do remember our deal, do you? Because I said I wouldn’t harm _you_.” The confident smirk from Vera’s face fell as Ishtar turned and raised her hands towards the other members before looking back at her over her shoulder.

“I said _nothing_ about not harming them. Don’t forget _Grand Magus,_ you chose this.” She spat before two lines of green shot for Hamish and Emilie and six lines of red for the others. Vera froze mid step as she felt the magic flying towards the others. They were _all_ death spells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vera Stone, seducing the sex goddess. Also, I want to clarify, Ishtar doesn't look like the demons we saw on screen, more like how Lilith looked when she came back. And she looks hella gorgeous because again, sex goddess.
> 
> I'll try to get the next chapter out tomorrow since this is definitely a mean cliffhanger, but I'm thinking it probably won't be up till Friday after work.


	76. He’s Corrupted You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't get this one out because after shoveling 3 feet of snow yesterday for 3 hours straight, and the plow blocking me in today I'm just so sore...but I am procrastinating shoveling the 3 feet the plow shoved back at my driveway to do this instead.
> 
> Hope you guys like this epic one better than last chapter (don't worry, that will be the last detailed scene with Vera/Hamish with anyone else.)

CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX

Vera opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out as she felt the magic hit. She couldn’t focus, couldn't breathe through the pain lancing through her. It was all for nothing, she failed. He was gone. So were Emilie and Fynn. She saw nothing but the swirling gold over her eyes and Ishtar’s green aurora.

Her sorrow filled eyes landed fully on Ishtar and without sacrifice or words the demon was sent flying across the room. Ishtar connected roughly with a stone pillar as Vera felt the nausea roll over her in the sections the barriers had already failed.

Still her rage filled gaze remained glued to Ishtar as she fought back a convulsion before she brought her hand up and with a flick of her wrist, she sent the demon hurtling into another pillar. Before Ishtar could get her bearings, Vera began launching a flurry of attacks at the demon.

Firebolts mixed with lightning began shooting towards the demon without regard. Most hit true, but Vera could see it wasn’t going to be enough as she collapsed to her knees with the overwhelming nausea coursing through her.

She raised her hand again before a violent convulsion had her dropping her hand to the ground as she tried to stop the nausea from the level of unchecked, unrestricted free magic she’d just expended. She was pushing herself, _killing_ herself, but it didn’t matter anymore. They were gone. _He_ was gone.

“Vera! You _have_ to stop!” She froze, her hand lifted in midair. She saw Ishtar beginning to stir, but her attention was pulled towards the man across from her. Adrian was standing beside the others behind a shimmering barrier.

Her eyes found Hamish and a quiet relieved sob slipped from her lips. He was watching her with awe and terror, but he was okay. She turned and saw Emilie was wearing the same expression. They had been ready. Adrian, Emilie and Hamish had been able to get the ward up in time. Her eyes turned back to Adrian.

“Stop.” He ordered again, softer this time and Vera knew that he knew it wasn’t just the ring’s magic that had her on the ground. The other’s believed it, but _he_ knew it was the Fors Factorum.

“Stand up, get _back_ in the circle and together we’ll stop her. You’ve done good, but we’re here to help. We will hold her off together. Now get _up!_ ” Vera felt herself nodding shakily and tried to push herself up, but another wave of nausea swept through her and she saw Ishtar beginning to stand up to the side of the group.

Her eyes grew wide as she lifted her hand to attack the demon. She felt the slash across her palm, halting her attack before Hamish gripped her hand with his and pulled her up beside him. She looked towards him and met his hard, concerned gaze.

 _“Stop_ trying to fight her on your own already.” He growled out before she felt Emilie slash her forearm and linking with her as well. She felt their magic flush through her system, immediately quelling the nausea and finally nodded at him. When he saw her nod, he signaled to Emilie and Vera felt as she linked with Fynn before Camille closed the link.

Vera was pure magic as soon as the link fully closed. Her hair gently billowed around her and a pale green aura began to swirl around her. Her eyes began to flicker a deeper gold as she met Ishtar’s furious gaze.

 _“How?!_ What did he _do_ to you!” Ishtar bellowed as she lifted her hands and began casting.

“No.” Vera muttered and waved her finger, immediately extinguishing the spell before it could form.

“He’s corrupted you somehow.” Ishtar growled viciously. Vera felt the demon digging almost to the bottom of her magical reserves but cocked her head as she tried to place the magic Ishtar was forming. She couldn’t and squeezed Hamish’s hand tighter. He was the only one she felt completely, the only one that was keeping her from succumbing to the magic fully.

The aura around Ishtar darkened to emerald and began swirling as if she were creating a tornado. The demon’s eyes remained closed in concentration for several seconds and Vera felt the magical link beginning to dim as Emilie and Hamish’s wounds started to heal.

“No.” She spoke again and both wolves felt their wounds reopen. Hamish gripped her hand tighter and Vera looked up to meet his concerned gaze. She smiled softly at him before her attention was drawn back towards the demon.

Ishtar’s aura froze as her eyes snapped open in disbelief as they connected with Vera before shifting to Hamish. “No. _H_ _e’s_ corrupted you and that abomination assisted.” Hamish’s hold on Vera tightened further as he took a step closer to her while Ishtar’s eyes furiously swept between the two.

“This is unacceptable.” Ishtar growled darkly and Vera felt the magic lacing her words. She could feel the pull as the demon put _all_ her magic behind the twinned death spells meant for them. Vera steadied her stance, squeezed Hamish’s hand, shut her eyes and breathed deeply.

She began siphoning the magic from the others like she _now_ knew the ring was designed to do. The wind around her picked up and she felt both Emilie and Hamish grip her tighter as they stepped closer. She waited until she felt the exact moment and opened her eyes that were now glowing golden orbs.

The second her eyes opened the wind around her stopped. Her hair remained frozen in time and the spells connected with shimmering bright green and gold protective barrier that Vera had placed around herself and Hamish. The spells crackled violently against the shield and the ground beneath them shook with the impact.

Ishtar’s aura became scorching flames at her failure and she brought both arms up beside her, summoning everything she had until black, green and red undulating masses of powerful raw dark magic were held in each hand. Her eyes connected with Vera’s again in a furious challenge.

“Can you shield them all?” Vera pulled deeper on their reserves but knew it wouldn’t be strong enough if she expanded the field around all of them. She met Adrian’s eyes with an apologetic look and watched as realization crossed his face. He nodded in understanding and his eyes flicked to Hamish quickly before his eyes met hers again.

 _‘Please, they need to be kept safe._ ’ She watched as Adrian’s eyes closed in concentration at her plea before she heard his response.

 _‘Then fight and survive.’_ His eyes opened again and signaled for her to look at Hamish. Her head turned and she saw his fear, he knew she was about to do something dangerous. She smiled sadly and squeezed his hand before closing her eyes and began pulling on the full force of the Fors Factorum, causing another barrier to rupture painfully.

She caught Ishtar’s attack on each of them and began to bend the protective enchantment backwards. She felt the resistance when Ishtar realized what she was trying to do.

“That’s _not_ possible.” She heard the demon mutter in shock before fighting harder as the shimmering green and gold barrier began to bend backwards from them while still containing the death spells from Ishtar.

She could feel the ground shaking beneath her as she pushed harder against Ishtar. Cracks were beginning to form beneath hers and Ishtar’s feet at the force of their dueling magic. She felt herself growing dizzy from the force of the magic as she started to bend the ward around Ishtar.

Gritting her teeth harder as she felt another protective barrier she'd cast on herself fail and an agonized gasp broke from her lips as she buckled forward slightly. She had two barriers left, all she needed to do was connect the ward fully and the magic would lesson. After it was fully formed, they _just_ had to focus on keeping it active. She would be able to sever the Fors Factorum’s magic and release the other's magic to allow them to bear the weight. 

“Fight it Vera!” She heard Adrian shout as the darkness started to creep into her mind. She was _so_ close, she just needed to push it a little further. She could hear Ishtar’s screams of outrage as she fought against the barrier.

Vera felt another burst of agony flare through her as Ishtar started to bend the field away from herself and another barrier around her crumbled. A pained cry escaped as she collapsed to her knees still fighting desperately as the ward pushed further away from the demon. She felt Hamish and Emilie drop down beside her, begging her to open her eyes.

She forced herself to open them and looked at them both before focusing on Hamish. He was turned into her, his other arm stretched out behind him to keep the connection with Camille. His eyes matched Emilie’s, both were worried but determined.

“You _have_ to fight.” He whispered in a broken plea and a sob tore from her throat as she bent forward with the pain as Ishtar fought harder, she could feel her last barrier wavering. “Vera, _please._ I need you to fight. I can’t lose you, not like this.” He begged low enough that only her and Emilie would be able to hear. She could barely hear Emilie’s distant words beside her begging for the same.

Her eyes opened again and met his and he watched as the pain in the golden orbs shifted to determination. She nodded jerkily and her grip became vicelike on his hand, but he just squeezed back equally hard as he kept his gaze connected with hers.

Vera took a deep breath and pulled on everything within her, feeling the last protective enchantment she’d placed shatter. The gold in her eyes became radiant, her hair began to whip around her violently and the green aura around her became almost blinding.

With one last burst of pain and screams from both herself and Ishtar, agony and fury respectfully, silence swept through the vault. She felt the magic of the barrier connect and immediately released the power of the Fors Factorum before sagging sideways against Hamish.

“I need everyone to focus on keeping it active.” She choked out as unconsciousness started to claim her. “It’ll last, just don’t...don't sever the connection or it’ll break.” She panted and heard Hamish shouting her instructions to the others. “Thank you.” She whispered as she released the magic back to everyone and let unconsciousness claim her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hamish corrupted Vera? And Gilgamesh helped? What the hell does that mean?
> 
> Ishtar is trapped as long as they don't sever the link, but Vera's also unconscious...and had expended sooo much free magic that it probably isn't looking too great for her at the moment...


	77. They Weren't Designed To Work Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a thank you for all the wonderful reviews (and the theories, I LOVE to hear them!!) I switched up my usual plan a future chapter, then write the current one to get this one out...It's pretty short, but important.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN

Hamish felt Vera slump fully against him, no longer able to remain conscious. The current around her had lessened, her hair blowing gently across her face now. The blinding green aura has returned to the pale, almost translucent shimmering.

Tundra and him had felt the enormous amount of magic pumping through her veins while she fought Ishtar, and it worried them both. His concern had lessened slightly when she released their magic back to them and he felt the drop within her, but even still he knew there was too much magic coursing through her. He didn’t know if her body would be able handle this much magic rushing through her long enough to complete today’s ritual.

“You have to hold on Vera. Another ninety minutes, don’t give in.” He whispered squeezing her hand before turning his attention to Ishtar. He could see the demon seething behind the green and gold barrier Vera had created.

Ishtar was glaring directly at him as she sent bolt after bolt of dark energy at the field. He could feel the impact of each wave of energy as it connected just like the others, but knew as long as they continued to focus, she wouldn’t be able to break free.

Ishtar’s words worried him. He’d been unconscious when Vera and Gilgamesh came to an agreement and Vera hadn’t divulged what they discussed. She had said he healed her and allowed her to walk through the barrier, but if Ishtar was to be believed and based off of her reaction, she wasn’t lying, he had done something else to her.

Obviously he was grateful he helped because whatever it was he had done had not only allowed Vera to survive what would’ve been a deadly attack, but it also gave her the ability to subdue Ishtar somehow. But he was terrified of what Vera may have agreed to. He knew she was self-sacrificing, what if she’d further risked her life for the ability to defeat Ishtar?

And what did Ishtar mean by he had corrupted her. Was it because Tundra had claimed her? He knew the claiming had corrupted Tundra to not allow Gilgamesh control over him, but did it somehow affect Vera?

And what did Gilgamesh do to assist the corruption? Was it the same thing that had allowed Vera to leave the forest without needing him or Emilie? Ishtar’s gaze flicked to Vera again and Hamish tightened his hand on hers at the fury in her dark eyes.

Whatever it was he had apparently done and however Gilgamesh assisted them, he wasn’t going to focus on it right now. He couldn’t allow himself to get distracted and risk Ishtar breaking free. He had to keep Vera safe, which meant keeping the barrier enacted. But he would need to speak with Vera before tomorrow’s ritual.

He had been surprised at first that his wound wasn’t healing but realized whatever it was Vera had done earlier was still forcing it to stay open so the link would remain. He looked over at Emilie who was glaring daggers at Ishtar while trying to shield Vera from the demon’s view as much as possible.

Emilie felt his gaze and turned her attention to him. She offered him a smile before looking down at Vera. “She’s strong enough. She will be able to handle it.” He felt the worry in him fade marginally as she looked back up at him with a confident smile before turning to return her glaring at Ishtar.

One by one the other members collapsed to their knees under the strain of keeping the barrier active. They could see and feel Ishtar continuing to launch energy at the field, none of her attacks losing their strength. Only Adrian remained standing and Hamish could tell he was the one that was guiding the focus on both the barrier and the ritual.

He watched the older man’s eyes snap towards Vera in concern just before he felt the tremors start to seize through her body. His attention focused on her face and he could see the pain in it as her breathing became erratic. Her body was couldn’t hold onto the magic any longer. It was too soon after being without it for so long.

“FIGHT VERA!” Adrian shouted as Hamish felt the strength of Ishtar’s attacks grow and speed up as if knowing Vera’s body was close to severing the connection. Hamish looked towards Emilie and saw her frightened tear filled eyes on Vera’s pale face before she looked at him.

“Fifteen minutes Vera, all we need is fifteen more minutes. Don’t you _dare_ give up!” He ordered quietly as he felt Tundra start to push against him.

 _‘What’s wrong?’_ He asked as Tundra began to fight against him even more.

_‘Let Charlotte and me loose. I think we can siphon some of her magic through us, give her body enough time to…’_

_‘I trust you.’_ Hamish quickly interrupted before looking up to Emilie and started speaking low enough only she would hear.

“We need to let them out, he thinks they can pull enough magic away from her so she can last till the end.” Emilie looked terrified and he understood it. The others knew they were wolves now and that was bad enough. If they were to see what they were truly capable of, it would only increase their fear. They may choose to kill them, but they had no other choice. They had to save her.

“Emilie, I know believe me, I understand, but if we don’t do this, she won’t make it. Please Emilie, I can’t lose her.” Emilie looked back towards Vera and he watched her face harden in determination before looking back up at him and nodding as she waited for his signal.

Hamish looked up towards Adrian and allowed Tundra’s eyes flash. He saw understanding in the man’s face before he nodded in confirmation. Lastly, he looked towards Camille.

“Whatever you do, _don’t_ let go. He won’t hurt you I promise.” He watched as fear crossed the woman’s face before she blinked it away.

“Do what you need to.” He looked back towards Adrian, signaling him to be ready for the current to change slightly. The man shifted his stance readying himself and nodded.

“Now, Em!” With a fierce growl from both of them, Charlotte and Tundra pushed their way out and began leaching the magic from Vera. Her hair fell lip against her face and the shimmering green aura around her went out.

He felt the flush spread through him and heard Charlotte’s snarl accompanying Tundra’s. He could tell they weren’t supposed to be able to do this, he could feel the wrongness of it. The rings weren’t designed like this and Vera’s ring was sending searing heat through his veins with the magic in an effort to take it back.

 _‘We can handle it.’_ Tundra promised as another howl broke through and he curled in on himself. He watched Charlotte do the same but her furious gaze remained fixed on Ishtar.

Hamish knew the only reason this was possible was because of their wolves. Gilgamesh must have done to the ring to allow this. It wasn’t right and the ring was desperately fighting against them, but it _was_ working. Vera had stopped convulsing and the link remained active.

“Seven minutes!” Adrian shouted as Tundra curled further in on himself and Vera. Charlotte had started to cave in on herself as well and he could hear Fynn shouting for her to fight. A howl of pain ripped from Tundra as Adrian announced they only had two minutes remaining.

He felt the magic in Vera increase as Charlotte succumbed to the pain and Emilie passed out beside her. The aura around Vera started to pick up again with her breathing.

He could feel Tundra wavering despite his pleas to fight. It was when Tundra felt Vera’s hand tighten on his that the pain lessened. He looked down and saw Vera’s weak gaze watching him with a pained smile.

 _‘I_ will _protect her!’_ Tundra promised and pulled harder against the magic taking Charlotte’s load away from her. His howl swept through the vault as the molten lava coursed through him. He felt Vera’s grip holding tightly and focused on that as he fought his way through the pain.

The last thing he heard before he succumbed to unconsciousness was Vera’s ear splintering cry of agony and Adrian yelling to sever the connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...at least day one of the ritual is over...right? Well...mostly...
> 
> The beginning of the next chapter is already written (and has been for awhile) and I think it's my absolute favorite imagery wise. I still have a bunch more to write in it, but it should be out tomorrow. I HAVE to plan a couple future chapters now since I'm behind and need to do some research because my muse decided to take a little detour somewhere actually pleasant.


	78. Defending Her Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually surprised I got this one out today. Not only because it's so much longer, but I had to make a bunch of cookies, bread and jam for Christmas gifts and after multiple fiascos, including a jar slipping and falling back into a boiling pot of water sending boiling water back at my face (I'm okay thankfully!)...and an argument with my neighbor...It's just been a really long day (which is probably why I had to stay up late and finish this one)

CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT

Vera felt like she was drifting in a black void where time was meaningless. She felt no pain, no emotion, just nothingness. It was serene and she allowed the current to continue to carry her.

The silence was broken suddenly as if by a distant echo. She didn’t remember the pain of her life, but she felt the overwhelming desire to run from the noise. Fear swept through her as she tried to swim faster through the stream that was carrying her. She couldn’t let whatever was causing the noise catch her!

The echo became more distinct, there were multiple things after her. They were getting closer, she had to get away from them! She forced her way under the river in an attempt to drown out the noises, hide from the forces coming for her as she waited.

The voices reached splintering volumes and she tried to dive deeper to escape them. Her body froze as a deep booming voice filled the water surrounding her.

 _‘For them to survive, you must survive.’_ Is she dying? Who won’t survive if she doesn’t? Should she care? She heard the echoing growing louder as the panic rose in her again and she pushed further into the abyss.

Again, her body froze as another voice growled loudly into the darkness. ‘ _You must find a way to survive Vera Stone or they will both die.’_ Why? Why did it matter what happened to her? _Who_ will die with her and why?!

The echoes became more distinct. There were five, no six voices. Were they fighting? She felt a pull on some distant emotion when she heard a boy crying. Was he pleading with someone? Her head titled, why would that matter? She had no connections to anyone, why was he able to stand out.

She felt a pressure encompassing her mind and let out a scream as she felt her head beginning to cave beneath the weight. She yelled into the darkness as she clutched her head when the pressure continued to build before she felt it shatter.

 _“Fight her power and wake up! It’s happening again, they’re in danger! You need to wake up and save them!”_ The panic in the silken voice wiped the pain from Vera's mind and she desperately searched to locate the woman speaking to her.

She turned and was confronted with gold panicked eyes breaking the never-ending darkness. The eyes came closer and a white muzzle became visible. Vera tried to step back, but whatever this was had frozen her feet beneath her.

_‘She’s trying to drag you under with her. You need to force her from your mind and into Odin’s domain.’_

“Force who from my mind? Who are you? Who’s in danger?” Why couldn’t she remember anything?

_‘Ishtar! If you don’t force her down right now, they will kill them!”_

“Who will? Who is going to be killed?!” Vera felt the crippling fear in her but didn’t understand it. She never felt this fear before the voices started. She wanted to return to that blissful darkness. With that thought in mind, she closed her eyes and allowed to current to start to pull her under again.

 _‘Emilie and Hamish!’_ The creature shouted and the water began to suffocate her as memories slammed into her. The current was no longer welcoming, it was trying to kill her. She knew those names. They were important to her.

She heard the frightened boy again as he pleaded. _Fynn!_ Desperation coursed through Vera as she fought to rise above the whirlpool that was pulling her down.

 _‘You must save them!’_ The voice pleaded once more before she felt the mental connection sever and the eyes disappeared. Vera was encompassed by the darkness again.

 _“NO!_ Come back!” She screamed as water rushed into her mouth. She started to draw on everything she could to force her way out of the dark water. She needed to get out, she needed to save them. Save _him_!

The water began to push away from her, and light began to splinter into the darkness. She heard the voices more clearly. They were scared. They were arguing. A familiar voice was demanding they give her a chance to explain. To trust her.

But others were shouting about a journal, the past repeating itself. A whispered question sliced through the all the noise.

_‘You saw what they just did. They’re loyal now, but so was Amalie. They’re too strong. Wouldn’t it be safer for everyone if we rid them of the wolves now?’_

Vera felt the fury and terror course through her at the frightened question and slammed into consciousness with a blast of magic erupting from her. She watched as six people surrounding her blew back with her snarled _‘no_ ’!

“YOU WILL NOT _TOUCH_ THEM!” She bellowed as she pulled on the magic and a swirling field of green and gold fell around the two unconscious bodies beside her. Vera watched as someone tried to sit up and growled darkly before forcing them down again.

“VERA! THAT'S _ENOUGH!”_ Her rage filled eyes fell on the older man and the rest of her memories fell into place. Vera immediately released the magic pushing down on Yara. She dropped the field around Hamish and Emilie and placed a hand on the back of each of their heads.

“They’re not what you think. They won’t betray us.” She spoke softly but with conviction as she looked at each of the wolves beside her. She watched as Fynn ran up beside Emilie with tears streaming down his face.

“She won’t hurt anyone. Please Magus, you know her. She could _never_ hurt anyone.” He pleaded with Holger who Vera noted looked shocked, but not upset.

“They just risked their lives to save me. To save each one of you and every single person alive. Both the champion and the wolf. They kept me safe when I was without magic searching for Odin’s ring. They passed the test set by the previous bearers. They are loyal and unless we try to attack them again, they will remain loyal.”

“We all read the journals Grand Magus. These two are mentioned in it. The wolves are powerful beings. How can we be sure they won’t turn on us like Amalie did? She attacked The Order, stole the Vade Maecum, summoned Ishtar and even killed her own daughter…”

“No!” Vera snapped harshly severing Yara’s sentence abruptly. “That’s _not_ what happened! Ishtar killed her daughter! The Order allowed her ten-month-old son to be sacrificed, for power. They burned her youngest daughter alive. They wiped her memories and lied to her to blame it on the wolves. They hunted hundreds of her relatives down and executed them. Innocent people! They butchered his wolf’s sister and nephews and left their bodies for him to find.” She glared at every single one of them before looking down at Hamish.

“They were innocent children and The Order slaughtered them and left them lying in the woods for days. Any why? Because they were wolf pups and it furthered their cause!”

“But _they’re_ not pups anymore Vera. They’re not innocent children…”

“Emilie is!” She shouted as her hand moved to rest between the girl’s shoulder blades. “She didn’t choose to bond with Charlotte, but they have bonded and _all_ Emilie wants to do is protect people. Charlotte realizes that and so she follows her champion’s wishes.” Vera’s hand came up to brush her blond curls behind her ear gently before shifting to the back of her head again.

“And what about Emerson? If he’s Tundra, than he’s the leader of the Knight’s of Saint Christopher. We’ve all heard the stories from Belgrave’s chapter. That group has nothing but a long line of bloodshed relating to The Order.” Ivan asked quietly and Vera tensed as her hand wrapped behind Hamish’s neck and she unconsciously put a protective field around him.

“You will _not_ touch him.” She ordered threateningly as the air around her began to pick up again.

“No one is going to harm either one of them Vera. We just need to understand.” Adrian spoke up and it was enough to knock sense back into her and she dropped the barrier around Hamish.

“The Knight's of Saint Christopher were hunted by The Order and left Germany like the journal said. They lost their memories when the hides chose their first champions, but knew they were supposed to keep the Vade Maecum from The Order and protect us from threats, both inside and outside of The Order. Threats like Edward Coventry.”

She knew none of them liked the previous Grand Magus and if she had asked, would’ve likely fallen in line to help stop him.

“That doesn’t explain their long history Vera. He may have been the Grand Magus and previous Temple Magus, but _you_ have been leading your temple for the past ten years. The killing has still been happening under your tenure and we know you’re nothing like Coventry. Not to mention the killing _before_ Edward even took over.”

“You don’t understand.” Vera growled. “A previous Grand Magus sought to recreate the Vade Maecum, he came extremely close to bonding with it and after reading the journal you _know_ that book is nothing but evil. It costs your humanity and if you don’t have humanity, you become a conduit for evil. Together the Knight’s were able to stop him, but again they were hunted.

“ _We_ started the war with them. Again! It’s in our own history that they’re _supposed_ to be in The Order. They’re supposed to police us to protect _everyone_ from members like Edward.”

She looked at all of them and still saw apprehension on the three younger faces. She could tell Adrian was on her side, and believed Holger was as well.

“How long has Hamish been Tundra’s champion?” Ivan asked and again Vera felt the aura picking up around her at the possible threat.

“Why?”

“Vera. How long?” Adrian asked softly and Vera’s pained eyes went to his.

“Nine years.” She whispered and her grip around his neck tightened as she saw the apprehension on Yara and Ivan’s face turn hard and angry.

“He is _not_ innocent Vera. He’s _soaked_ in blood…”

“No.”

“Yes! Just last year you had almost every one of your pledges murdered…”

“That wasn’t them! That was a golem under Margaret Crain!” She snapped. “One of our own Council members killed three innocent children…”

“And she was executed! How many has he killed? He needs to be punished properly…” Yara took a step closer and Vera’s gaze turned dangerous as the field erupted around Hamish again.

“Back _up!_ ” She growled and watched as Yara’s steps faltered. “I don’t know how many people they killed in the past, but I know they were only trying to save innocent people. When I went to them for help last year, they knew I was one of the heads of the organization and instead of killing me, they risked their lives to help me stop Edward.

“They could’ve let Edward kill Maddox and fail at bonding with the book, but then Maddox would’ve been killed for nothing and that’s not acceptable. Maddox was innocent. It was one of the wolves that devised the plan that ultimately stopped Edward. Hamish and another knight rescued Maddox, before all four wolves fought side by side with me to defeat him.

“And instead of thanking them for risking their lives to save us, Council wanted to kill them. The only way I could save them was by stealing their memories. And when they got them back, did they go on a killing spree?”

“No, they just robbed your chapter blind and let Rogwan out!” Yara snapped taking another step forward before freezing as the current around Vera picked up even further.

“Because _I_ robbed _them!_ They didn’t know about Rogwan and when Praxis robbed them, they risked their lives to defeat him! To save everyone in the Belgrave chapter and myself from performing the Excidium, Timber under her champion’s wishes, dragged Rogwan back to the demon realm. Lilith is _still_ trapped there because of her sacrifice. Since then, the Knights have done nothing but protect us.

“ _They_ were the one’s that saved us from Foley’s attack. _They_ are the reason I was able to get into the Black Forest, _they_ are the reason I survived. And _they_ are the reason we were able to trap Ishtar within the first realm just now! They don’t want to hurt us so don’t give them a reason to be threatened.”

She watched as the other’s looked between the two wolves before themselves. Adrian was giving her a soft smile and she felt her lips twitching in an attempt to return it.

“What did Ishtar mean when she said ‘he’ corrupted you?” Camille asked and Vera froze. She didn’t actually know. If it was Gilgamesh, she would have a better guess, but still would only be speculating. She looked up at Camille and realized the others hadn’t made the connection that Ishtar was talking about Hamish.

“I’d only be speculating.” She started and watched as the younger woman indicate she do so. “The day after we found the ring, we encountered another wolf in the woods. Much larger and older than either Tundra or Charlotte. He went to attack us, but when they shifted to protect me, he backed off.

“A few days later he was able to get me alone by subduing both of their wolves. He was going to kill me but stopped when he realized I had no intention of hurting either of them and only wanted to stop Ishtar. He healed the damage he’d inflicted, but instead of just gold light there was green as well. It allowed me to leave the forest without being harmed.”

“It was Gilgamesh wasn’t it? That’s why Ishtar was so furious and willing to make a deal. She wanted to kill him. It wasn’t a bad deal.” Vera’s grip increased on Hamish and Emilie and the protective barrier moved to surround Emilie as well.

“I understand that you were _distracted_ when I was questioning her Ivan, but if you had been paying attention, you would’ve realized why I wasn’t going to accept that deal. Killing Gilgamesh the way she planned would have killed _all_ the wolves and their champions. That is an unacceptable cost. Besides that _minor_ detail, she is a master at loopholes and would’ve found some way to weasel out of her agreement to return to her realm.”

“That was another question I had.” Camille spoke up. “How did you know about Amalie making a deal with her? She seemed furious and confused when you brought it up. It wasn’t in the journal and you yourself said the wolf’s memories were gone. So how did you know?”

Vera forced herself to keep her mask on as she lied through her teeth. “Gilgamesh was unaffected by her curse, he showed me. You heard her yourself, he’s protected from her so she couldn’t take his memories.” She felt both Adrian and Holger staring at her. She looked towards them and saw they both knew she was lying but weren’t going to bring it up now.

Vera watched Camille look at Emilie inquisitively before turning her gaze to Hamish. Vera barely bit back the growl of irritation as the woman’s gaze turned hungry again and lingered on his naked backside. Vera quickly summoned clothes on both of them before looking up at Camille’s embarrassed face.

“I trust you Grand Magus. He had the chance to attack me but didn’t. He also helped me several times throughout the ritual. I saw the way they both defended you and held Ishtar off long enough to trap her in the first realm. You have my full support.” Camille said and walked to stand beside Hamish looking towards the others in challenge.

Vera nodded her thanks before looking at the others. Fynn was still beside Emilie but stood to match Camille’s stance. Holger was already walking to join them and placed his hand on Fynn’s shoulder with a soft smile.

“You and your sister are my responsibility Mr. Brandt. We wouldn’t even know of the threat without you two. Even if you didn’t have the Grand Magus in your corner, you’d have me.” Vera offered a small smile to Holger as he stepped directly in front of the two siblings.

Ivan and Yara met each other’s gaze wearily before looking to Adrian to see what he was going to choose. He chuckled as he sat down with an exaggerated sigh.

“Don’t look at me. I already promised Vera my support _hours_ ago. I’m not really sure why we’re still discussing this to be honest. It’s pretty straight forward. They’re loyal to her and I trust her judgement, as do you otherwise you wouldn’t have come to help.” He sighed casually and rest back on his arms with his eyes closed, stretching his stiff neck.

Vera smirked as he opened his eyes and winked at her. She looked back at both siblings and saw they had been properly chastised by the older man. She did trust them both, it was one of the most important things her and Holger had looked at when selecting them.

“He’s right, sorry Vera.” Ivan nodded towards her and nudged his sister.

“I _do_ trust you Vera and will continue to help, but please forgive me for my reservations with the wolves. I promise not to do anything against them, but I also can’t bring myself to trust them just yet.” Vera looked at the woman for a second before nodding and dropping the barriers around the wolves.

“Understood.” She looked around and for the first time took in all the damage. The vault floor beneath her had caved in slightly and spidering fissures cracked out reaching towards where the sacrifice had been. All that remained in the center was the blood stained clothes.

It had also gotten a lot darker all of a sudden, she thought as she went to dismiss everyone. She heard the slur to her words and realized it hadn’t gotten darker, she was losing consciousness again.

“Vera!” Adrian shouted and snapped her back in to focus. The man was now directly in front of her holding her face steady in his hands with worry. They both knew her use of the Fors Factorum was what was pulling her under this time. She’d expended too much during her fight with Ishtar and again with the attack and protective barriers just now.

 _“Shit.”_ She whispered on a broken gasp and heard him dismissing everyone as she fell against him, no longer able to hold herself upright. She felt him lift her off the ground and let out a small protest as her hand left Hamish. She turned her head to look at Hamish’s unconscious form as Adrian carried her away.

“Nooo.” She protested on a slur in an attempt to get back to him. Adrian tightened his grip on her and dropped his voice low.

“Does he know what's happening to you right now? Do you want him to know?” Vera turned her head jerkily, her vision slowly following before she forced herself to focus on Adrian.

“He can’t know.” She saw him nod before he continued walking.

“Then trust Holger to keep him safe while I try to help you.” Her head dropped back against his arm and she saw Holger and Fynn beginning to lift the wolves out of the way. Holger met her gaze and she saw his promise to keep them both safe.

“They’re going to worry when I’m gone. Make sure Emilie is near him, she may need to fight Tundra. We care about each other too much.” She slurred before darkness claimed her.

Vera was already out by the time the final word left her mouth, so she didn’t see Adrian’s eyes grow wide as his steps froze and he turned to stare at Hamish before returning to the woman in his arms in understanding.

* * *

So I didn't write the beginning of this with this scene in mind, but while rewatching Battlestar Galactica this scene (Gaius Baltar's water torture/questioning) is basically perfect to show the panic/confusion Vera was experiencing and the way the water went from calm to roiling...if anyone is interested, here's the link; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYijPQg31vE&t=294s 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say, I LOVE protective/defensive Vera...even though she's not realizing she's using Fors Factorum to while she's in full protective mode.
> 
> Adrian now knows 100% about Vermish, but it seems like the others didn't pick up on it. I also wanted to show the struggle the other members would have accepting the wolves, especially since all they've ever heard is The Order's side. I also really like how Yara responded.


	79. Fourteen Hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a bit longer than expected. This one and the next chapter will happen sort of simultaneously.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE

Emilie jerked awake and looked to her right before she panicked. Vera wasn’t there, where was she? She swept her terrified gaze around the room and saw Fynn was sleeping in a chair beside the cot. She forced herself to sit up and gasped loudly at the pain that shot through her entire body.

“Emilie?!” Fynn jumped up and rushed towards his sister. “Oh, thank god you’re okay!” His hug drew another pained grunt from her and he immediately pulled back in apology.

“Where’s Vera? And Hamish? Is she alive? Did they hurt him?” Emilie was growing more and more panicked as she remembered what had happened before she lost consciousness.

“Em, you need to breathe. They’re both going to be okay. You passed out before Hamish did, but you guys did it. You were able to pull the magic away from Vera long enough for Ishtar to become trapped in the first realm within Odin’s ring. Hamish is still unconscious…”

“Where is he?! And where’s Vera?”! She asked pushing herself out of bed despite the pain and weakness.

“He’s right here and you’re going to wake him if you keep shouting!” Fynn chastised as he helped her hobble over to Hamish’s cot. Emilie sat on the side of it and carefully picked his hand up and held it in both of hers.

“Is Vera okay?” She asked quietly not taking her eyes off of Hamish’s face.

“Adrian is with her right now. She lost consciousness again…”

“Again?” Emilie looked towards him quickly before returning her gaze to Hamish.

“I think she heard the others when you were all passed out. After Ishtar was trapped, they started fighting about what they should do with both of you. She attacked us as soon as she regained consciousness when Yara asked if we should kill you. She ordered all of us not to touch either one of you.”

Emilie squeezed Hamish’s hand tighter as she waited for Fynn to go on. She knew what Charlotte and Tundra had done would scare them, but if Vera was alive it was worth it. Vera would protect them. She promised.

“You’re both going to be okay Em. She convinced them your not the enemy. Hamish was a bit more difficult because of the things he’s done while bonded, but she refused to let anyone near him or you. She shielded you both and turned everyone on your side. Yara is still nervous, but she won’t try to hurt you. Also, Holger said he’d be in your corner even if Vera wasn’t.”

A relieved sob escaped Emilie as she bent forward and rested her head against Hamish’s chest. She saved them. And not just with fear, she convinced them they wouldn’t hurt anyone. Maybe she wouldn’t be hunted down after all. She kept her head on Hamish but turned to look at Fynn.

“Is she okay though? Why did she lose consciousness again?” He looked pained before bringing his hand up to scrub over his face.

“She was drained before you two helped. And then protecting you guys just took the rest out of her. After fighting Ishtar and the magic for so long, then shielding you. It was just too much, as if she were running on adrenaline alone. The second the others all agreed and the threat was gone, her words started slurring her eyes wouldn’t focus…”

“Where is she?” Fynn froze and Emilie jerked off of Hamish’s chest to look down at his silvered eyes. She helped him sit up when she saw him struggling but kept a firm grip of his hand.

“Adrian is with her. He’s helping her recover. Wait, Hamish, you need to stay here…”

 _“No!”_ Hamish growled as he forced his way off the bed. His legs buckled beneath him, but Emilie caught him and waited until he was stable before they both started walking towards the door.

“It’s Vera’s orders Hamish.” He froze at the words and looked back at Fynn who was sitting on his bed now. “Vera told Adrian to keep Emilie with you while she recovered.”

Emilie felt Hamish fighting with himself before she looked up at him with a smirk. She leaned up closer to his ear and whispered while looking back at Fynn.

“What are you planning Em?!” Fynn started walking closer to them as the smile spread across Hamish’s face and he nodded at her.

“We’re going to see Vera…” Emilie said happily, and they started walking out of the room again.

“But, I just told you…”

“We’re going together, so we’re listening to her.” Fynn groaned at the loophole and followed after the two wolves.

“That’s _not_ what she meant, and you know it. She’s not going to like this.”

“I need to see her Fynn. And if all of us go, it won’t be suspicious. Please.” Fynn heard the desperation in Hamish’s voice and sighed before leading the way.

“Fine, but we have to see Holger first. He wanted me to come get him once you two woke up…”

“How long were we out?” Hamish asked as he slumped a little further on Emilie with the dizziness that swept through him.

“Just over fourteen hours. The others are due to be back an hour before we start, so we have about six hours.” Fynn filled them in and watched as both of them froze and turned to him in shock.

“But...we only took the magic from her for maybe fifteen minutes…” Emilie whispered in disbelief.

“We shouldn’t have been able to do it at all though. I could feel the wrongness of it as it was attacking us.” Hamish felt the hopelessness build up in him and Tundra at the realization that they wouldn’t be able to help much, if at all in future days.

His eyes tightened and fists clenched as the image of her writhing in his arms flashed through his mind again. Her agonized scream before he lost consciousness and lost the grip of the magic. He felt Emilie’s hand tighten over his.

“She’s going to be okay Hamish.” She whispered just as they turned the corner and they both froze. Fynn kept walking, the noise too low for him to hear without a wolf, but Emilie and Hamish’s hands became vices as they turned towards each other with scared eyes.

“No…” His plea was quiet and desperate, but Fynn heard it and turned towards them.

“What’s wrong?” He could see the panic on both their faces, but neither answered. Hamish and Emilie started running as fast as they could following the sounds of her pained scream.

Tundra was weakly pushing against him, but he was still too weak after the attack from the ring. Vera’s pained yell ripped through the corridor again and he heard Emilie’s cry at the noise. They turned the last corner and barely stopped themselves in time from colliding with Holger.

Holger stepped to the side but just before Hamish’s hand landed on the door he spoke. His words left Hamish and Emilie frozen.

“If you go in there or distract him in anyway, she will likely die.” Hamish’s hand remained inches from the door as another pained cry tore from Vera’s throat. He turned to look at the older man as his hand dropped in defeat.

“Come with me, all of you.” Holger held his hand out and waited. He saw the anguish on the younger man’s face and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had been right about the relationship between him and Vera. Holger's look softened as he stepped closer.

“He’s trying to save her. I’ll take you where you can see her, but I must warn you, it will not be pleasant.” Emilie grabbed Hamish’s hand and drew his attention to her before nodding and pulling him from the door. She gripped his hand harder and pulled as tears fell from her eyes when Vera’s scream broke the silence again.

Holger held the door open for them and Hamish was relieved he could no longer hear Vera’s screams. He looked over and saw the translucent wall to the left. His breath caught as he walked to it and placed a hand against the barrier.

He could see Vera laid out on what looked like an operating table. Her clothes had been removed and in their place two small bands of cloth were wrapped around her hips and chest to keep her modest. He heard Emilie’s pained gasp as he watched Vera’s mouth open in agony as her body arched off the table.

There was a pulse that went through her body as if her veins were suddenly glowing. Spidering lines of yellow light spread throughout her vibrantly before extinguishing as she slumped back against the table and tried to catch her breath.

He watched her sweat soaked face turn towards Adrian after several minutes before another pulse went through her. He looked up and saw the back of Adrian’s shirt was completely drenched in sweat as his eyes shut and the vibrant balls of gold energy in his palms shot towards Vera.

Adrian caught himself on the table after this jolt and caught his breath with Vera before pushing himself up and taking a small step to the side before looking down and waiting for her nod to continue. It was then that Hamish noticed Adrian was still wearing his ring.

He watched as Vera’s eyes opened and he could swear there was the slightest hint of gold in them as she nodded. Her eyes clenched and her body convulsed violently as her mouth dropped open in a silent scream.

His eyes roved over her before zeroing in on where the gold lines stopped abruptly and turned to faint lines of green that glowed dimly throughout her bare abdomen. He knew that whatever Gilgamesh had done to protect her was still in place and he found himself letting out a relieved breath.

“What’s he doing to her?” He whispered, unable to pull his eyes away as Adrian took another small stepped and repeated the process.

“He’s building individual barriers between each of her cells. She had done what she could before, but fighting Ishtar took all of the magic she had and it shattered the localized barriers she’d put in place. Once they were down, the magic began attacking her. A human body can only hold so much before the body tries to fight it off.

“It left her weak and if she attempted to link with us this evening, she likely would’ve succumbed to the magic. Adrian has been at it since he brought her here fourteen hours ago. His ring is feeding her magic yes, but he’s been able to build the barriers much faster than the added magic can break them.”

“Will he do this after each ritual?” Emilie asked grabbing Hamish’s hand that wasn’t on the wall.

“No. It’s not something that can be performed again. This isn’t like the enchantments she layered before. Think of it as if he's injecting her with a powerful virus and her magic is her body trying to attack that virus. It won’t prevent her from pulling on it at all, but the more magic she uses and pulls into her, the better chance the magic has of combating the virus.

“Once the magic starts breaking down the barriers, they can’t be rebuilt because the magic has already developed a resistance, or antibodies if we keep with the analogy. So, if he was to try it again, it would have no effect on protecting her cells, but it would increase the level of magic within her thus actually attacking her cells further.”

“And the reason we can’t go in?” Hamish asked watching another violent convulsion travel through her body.

“Three reasons. He is literally injecting her with magic, powerful magic at a specific concentration. If he loses concentration, even in the slightest the magic could shift just enough that the pulse he sends could kill her instantly. We couldn't even risk a silencing incantation because it could effect the magic.

“The second reason is if he doesn’t complete the enchantment and fully close the circuit all the magic he’s injected from that circuit won’t bind to her cells and will just release the onslaught of magic as an attack to her body. Again, that would likely kill her very quickly and very painfully.

“The last reason is more long term. As he cannot perform this again, he is layering multiple circuit barriers around each cell to strengthen her as much as he can. If you interrupt it before he rests, even if he completed another round, it won’t be as strong as it could be. That would mean they would break down faster leaving her vulnerable.”

“What happens when they break? Will the magic attack her at that point?” Hamish was thankful the Fynn had asked the question he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Was this just some way to prolong her life just long enough to get through the banishment but would kill her after? He knew if it came down to it that Vera would likely make that bargain if it meant saving the world from Ishtar.

“No. The magic that would break the bond is actively attacking it, therefore the barrier and the magic creating the barriers would be destroyed. She _will_ feel each barrier break, just like she did yesterday, and it _will_ hurt, but it will not attack her.”

“How much longer?” His hand had fisted on the wall as another gold current swept through her body broken by green above her abdomen. He could see Vera was losing her battle to stay conscious through the pain as Adrian stepped closer to her head.

“Maybe another thirty to fifty minutes. I think he knows that he won’t be able to complete another rotation. His body needs to rest as will hers.” Holger paused as he watched the two wolves staring at Vera before he conjured two beds.

“I promised her I would take care of you both until they were done. At the very least, please rest while you wait.” He watched as Emilie sat on one of the beds and pulled Hamish back so he was sitting beside her, but neither tore their gaze from the woman seizing in pain before them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Vera's PoV...and its going to be a bit painful, but then we'll have a few chapters of nice fluffy/funny bits (with a few slightly painful bits sprinkled throughout, but mostly fluff)


	80. Fighting To Build Barriers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter happens about 4 hours before the last chapter...and it's a bit rough, but as you will discover, very important.
> 
> Next few chapters are more Fluffy/Happy/Funny than painful, but there's still moments scattered throughout.
> 
> Trigger warning - Mentions of a past suicide attempt.

CHAPTER EIGHTY

Vera grit her teeth as another wave of agony ripped through her. Her body was drenched in sweat and her throat was raw from the hours of screaming. She had passed out several times but was constantly pulled back by a new wave of torture.

“I…I can’t…please, no more.” She begged brokenly after the tenth hour, but Adrian’s gaze just turned hard.

“You _can_ and you must Vera. Do you want to survive the banishment? Survive _after_?” She screamed as he sent another pulse through her no longer able to stop the heavy sobs.

“It doesn’t _matter_!” She cried through another wave as her body arched against the unforgiving table. “I just need to last until she’s gone…Adrian, _stop_!” She pleaded again when another convulsion swept through her. “Please! Enough!”

“It does matter Vera!” He growled out as he watched the broken woman convulse again from the current of magic fusing to her cells. He had watched her closely through the years and watched her give _everything_ to The Order. He wasn’t going to let her throw her life away, not when she’d finally let someone get close to her.

“I don’t care, just please stop!” She begged again through heavy sobs.

“What about the wolves Vera? What will happen to them if you die?” He needed to give her a reason to keep fighting. She looked to him with pleading eyes as she fought for breath.

“Keep them safe, you promised. Holger…he will…” Another scream tore through her as she pleaded with him to stop again. Adrian grit his teeth at her pain but took another step and focused another wave through her.

“And Hamish?” He saw her freeze and look up at him with eyes that were focused for the first time in hours. “Holger told me of his suspicions. And he’s received several calls from a woman name Lisa, who was absolutely smitten with your ‘act’.”

“It _was_ just an act. To get the ring your wearing right now.” Vera felt the rippling pain course through her but forced her eyes to remain open in challenge. She watched as his expression went from innocent to knowing disbelief.

“Vera don’t lie to me and stop lying to yourself. You admitted to me how much you both care for each other. This could give you time, you could…”

“ _Don’t_!” She snarled out as another wave of agony tore through her. Her eyes were hard, and her fists clenched. “Don’t do that.” He could see the desperation behind her eyes. She _wanted_ time, but she couldn’t allow herself to hope for it.

“Vera, if you fight through the pain _now,_ we may be able to layer enough that it slows the cancer drastically. You could have _years_.”

“Please Adrian, don’t…don’t give me false hope. We both know there’s no avoiding this curse.” Her hard eyes turned haunted and the next wave sent her body into a spasm, but he could see it didn’t come close to the emotional pain she was suffering.

“Isn’t it worth it to try?”

“And prolong his suffering even more? He’d be better off if I _didn’t_ survive the banishment…”

“That’s _enough_! You hear me?” Vera flinched from the fury in the man’s voice. “I saw him take on the full attack of the ring for you. And I already promised I will try to stop him if it happens again, but do you honestly think he will _ever_ be able to forgive himself if you died and he was stopped from saving you?”

“Emilie will make sure…” She started with conviction only for him to interrupt her again.

“And do you think _she_ will survive this? Vera, they love you, you have…”

“I know that! That’s why I’m doing this Adrian! To protect them!” She snapped before another convulsion swept through her.

“Then actually care enough to _survive!_ Stop trying to take the easy way out. You haven’t told him about your cancer because _you_ can’t handle his suffering…”

“That’s not true!” He didn’t understand what it would do to Hamish to know, but he just ignored her protest.

“What happens when he finds out about it _after_ you die?!” Vera’s eyes turned hard as she glared up at him.

“He _won’t_ find out because you won’t say anything.”

“If you don’t pull yourself together and give a damn about your life, I promise you I will.” Vera’s eyes shook as she read the threat in his eyes. He wasn’t bluffing.

“He won’t be able to go through with the ritual Adrian. You can’t tell him; it will crush him. He’s already lost someone he cares about; he won’t be able to watch me lose…”

“Then _fight_ so he doesn’t _have_ to lose two people. Yes, you will still be dying, there’s no getting around that. But Vera, we’re talking about possibly having _years_ together.”

He watched as her resolve was beginning to crumble but knew it wasn’t enough and closed his eyes sending another pulse through her. He opened them and met her wavering gaze before going in for the kill.

“You know, I knew Emilie’s parents Vera. They met under my tutelage and when I saw her mother in the hospital to try to save her and couldn’t, I promised to watch over her children. I watched Fynn fight every single day as that little girl slowly lost her will to live.”

He watched as Vera’s eyes widened in pain and shook her head, silently pleading with him to stop before another convulsion tore a broken cry from her.

“She was in the car when they were hit. She was so excited about something she’d learned in class and couldn’t wait to tell her parents about it. They were distracted by her story and didn’t see the car barreling towards them…”

“Please stop…” She pleaded as tears started to fall freely from her clenched eyes.

“She blamed herself for their death Vera, she probably still does. Over the course of a year she became nothing more than a shell of herself. She never talked to anyone, never smiled, barely ate, refused to sleep. She just sat quietly and did her schoolwork. Does she remind you of anyone?”

“She’s stronger than I am, she bounced back from it...” He looked at her sadly before sending another pulse through her.

“No Vera, she didn’t. On the anniversary of her parent’s death, I watched Fynn sitting by her hospital bed waiting to see if she was going to pull through an almost successful attempt to end her life. I glamoured into a psychiatrist and saw her for her mandatory sessions after and you want to know what her reasoning for trying to end her life?”

He heard Vera’s pained whimper as she shook her head and brought her hands up to her ears. He pulled her hands down and placed them beside her as he sent another pulse through her.

“It wasn’t that she couldn’t deal with the pain, she believed she _deserved_ to feel it. It was that every time she looked at her brother, she felt the suffocating guilt for taking his parents from him. For causing _him_ pain. For not being able to stop the accident and save them. She didn’t care what happened to her. All she was thinking was that she _never_ wanted to be responsible for someone else’s death ever again.”

“Stop, please!” Vera’s heart was breaking as she imagined the bubbly girl lying broken in a hospital bed. Her wide happy smile, absent from her face, leaving just a haunted visage behind. So much like herself at that age.

“I started telling her about this young, broken down girl from Washington. About how she suffered one of the deepest losses you can possibly imagine. About how she fought her way to survive every day despite blaming herself for the accident. How she uses her life now to save innocent people and tries to make the world a better, safer place. How no matter what life throws at her, she picks herself up and _fights_ to survive another day.”

“Adrian, enough. I get it…” He looked down at her, but saw her eyes were resigned not determined.

“I need you to understand that your _life_ matters to people Vera, not just your sacrifice. If that means breaking my word to you, so be it. If you want to stop the pain right now and just give up and hope you make it through with what layers we’ve got, fine.” He watched her eyes open and look to him in confusion.

“But I promise you that the very first thing I am going to do when I leave this room is wake up both your wolves and tell them that you are actively dying. I will tell them that if you proceed with the ceremony that your death is guaranteed by the end of it. Emilie will revert back to the trauma of losing her parents and will become nothing more than a shell.

“And what happens to Hamish then? Do you believe he will survive without _her_ help? Because I certainly don’t. Not after what I witnessed yesterday. If you die like this, I can almost guarantee that he will be following you soon after.”

“ _No!_ ” She snarled, and he watched as a brief flash of gold slid across her eyes. “He _has_ to survive.”

“Then give him a reason to and _fight_!” He smiled as he saw the fire in her eyes as she nodded and grit her teeth. He gave her a reassuring smile before starting the next rotation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...apparently my muse decided to go after Emilie and I was so totally NOT okay with it! She's innocent and needs to be protected at all costs!
> 
> This one was important because it really drills in a few things. Adrian will absolutely threaten Vera if he has to, Emilie has some heavy trauma in her past, Vera knows how much Hamish AND Emilie care for her and has been basically scolded into actually giving a damn about her life and to fight for it.


	81. Shower. Food. Rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas Eve everyone! This one is for all you wonderful reviews, but especially Simonlovescats who requested (and bribed with virtual treats) my muse to please give FUNNY Vermish moments. She decided to grace us with some happy, funny bits in this chapter AND some in the next.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE

Hamish watched as Adrian smiled at Vera before collapsing against the wall in exhaustion and removing his ring. He was up and out of the room before he realized he had started moving. He heard Emilie scrambling to follow behind him, but his only goal was getting to Vera.

He shoved the door open and his eyes swept over Vera looking for any sign she was still in pain. He watched as she jumped slightly at the door slamming open and flinched at the pain in caused. Emilie brushed past him when she saw Vera and couldn’t stop herself from hugging the woman.

“I’m sorry, I just…I’m so happy you’re okay.” She muttered into Vera’s shoulder. Vera felt herself grow stiff beneath the girl’s embrace but when her eyes met Adrian’s he sent her a knowing look and a silent _‘I told you_!’

Vera felt Emilie’s shaky breath before she started to pull back and hesitantly raised her arms to wrap around the girl. She felt Emilie freeze when she felt her arms but when Vera tightened her grip, she sank into her with a relieved sob and clutched her tightly.

“Shh, Emilie it’s okay.” She soothed as she pulled her in tighter against her chest. She really hoped Adrian was right and the fifteen hours of pain she just endured would give her enough time. She hadn’t thought of what her death would really do to the girl.

But now, seeing her reaction to almost losing her, Vera felt her eyes growing wet as she imaged the girl on a hospital bed wanting to die. She _needed_ to survive long enough to where both Hamish and Emilie would get to the point where they would be able to force themselves to survive for each other.

Hamish watched the two embracing and found himself easily holding back. It was clear how much they both needed this moment. Instead he walked over to Adrian and offered him his hand.

“Thank you.” He muttered as he helped the man into the chair in the corner. Adrian waved off his thanks and just leaned back closing his eyes until Holger came in and helped him to another room to give them privacy.

Hamish shut the door quietly and walked closer to Vera who was still holding a crying Emilie. She looked at him over the girl’s shoulder and offered a weak smile.

“Did Holger explain what Adrian was doing?” Emilie pulled back with red eyes and sniffed before nodding. Vera lifted her hand and brushed some of Emilie’s curls behind her ear and smiled. “I’m okay Emilie, really. I’m sorry for worrying either of you.”

Emilie offered a watery smile and gave Vera one last quick hug before pulling back. “I’m going to make sure the other room is clear. Just give me a couple of minutes!” She promised Hamish and ran out of the room leaving a bewildered Vera staring after her.

She looked towards Hamish and saw his haunted eyes watching her and his hands twitching as he fought to hold himself back. “They both already know about us Hamish, it’s okay…” She didn’t get to finish before his arms were wrapped tight around her. She lifted her arms and buried her face against his shoulder holding him in a crushing hug.

“Are you actually okay?” He felt her nod against his shoulder and pulled back to look in her eyes. He could see the exhaustion and pain still etched in her gaze, but she wasn’t lying. He brought a hand up to cradle the side of her face before capturing her lips.

Vera’s reaction was instantaneous. The sweet reassuring kiss turned heated as she tried to drag him in further. Hamish pulled her closer to the edge of the table, but her gasp of pain had him pulling back.

“You need to rest.” He heard her disapproving groan of ‘ _no’_ as she tried to capture his lips again. He pulled back and held her by her shoulders before looking down at her. “Yes Vera. We have four hours before the others are due back, five before the ritual starts. Do you want to stay here or go back to the hotel?”

He watched as she started to sway slightly as her tongue darted out to lick her lips before shaking her head and looking up at him with clear eyes. She nodded finally and looked down at her slick skin with a crinkled nose.

“Take me home please, I need to shower.” Hamish felt a bubble of pleasure rise up in him at the thought of _home_ but tried to wipe the happy smile from his face as he carefully helped her stand. He looked left and right for her clothes but there was nothing.

He saw her hand raise and a second later he felt fabric instead of skin beneath his hand. Immediately his face turned hard, and he snapped his eyes to her. Her hand was still raised in the air, but her eyes were closed.

“I know.” She muttered dropping her hand and leaning against him.

“ _No_ unnecessary magic Vera.” He growled and she just cringed, knowing he was right. She understood what the journal meant by feeling like you could do anything. She’d just spent fifteen hours in absolute agony in an attempt to extend her life and here she was almost immediately using magic without any real need.

“I know, I didn’t even realize I was doing it until it was already done.” She met his hard stare and sighed. “I didn’t _mean_ to do it Hamish. I didn’t just spend fifteen hours in pain to start attacking the barriers over something as simple as getting dressed.”

She glared at him until his eyes softened and he offered a small apology. “Do you think you’ll be able to walk out on your own?” Adrian and Holger may know, but he’s sure she wanted to keep it under wraps as much as possible. When she nodded, he trailed behind, close enough that he would be able to catch her if she fell.

They met Emilie and Fynn in the hallway and promised they would be back in time for the ritual and to let Holger know they were heading back to the hotel. He was happy they didn’t run into any disciples on the way out to the car because despite Vera saying she could make it; he could see her steps were beginning to drag.

He caught her just before she tripped down the stairs and steadied her with an arm around her waist. She offered a small thanks and allowed him to carefully guide her to the car and place her in the passenger seat.

In the confines of the car, his scent became overwhelming and she found herself split between needing to jump him and needing to pass out from exhaustion. She watched in confusion as his hands tightened on the steering wheel and his jaw clenched.

“Vera.” He warned and she looked to see her hand was resting high on his thigh. She bit her lip as she slid her hand higher and inwards. He growled lowly as he captured her hand and removed it from his lap over to hers and held it there.

“No.” He heard her irritated growl as she sat back heavily against the seat and looked over to see she was actually pouting. “You _need_ to rest.” He watched as she rolled her eyes in frustration but felt her fingers thread tightly through his.

“If you’re feeling up for it _after_ tonight’s ritual then I promise I am _all_ yours and will make the wait worthwhile.” Her hand tightened in his as a low moan slipped through her lips. A second later her scent hit him, and he barely bit back his own moan.

He followed after her as they made their way to their rooms, careful not to give the receptionist any reason to suspect anything so he wouldn't have to powder her. When he turned from locking the door Vera had him shoved up against it. Her lips forcefully landed against his as she started undoing his clothes.

Tearing his mouth from hers was met with a whined protest from her before she dropped her lips to his neck. “Vera, wait. Stop.” He captured her hands before they could remove any more of his clothes and pushed her back gently.

“Shower. Food. Rest.” He listed staring at her with challenging eyes. She growled lowly and went to step closer to him, but he held her back. “ _Shower. Food. Rest.”_ He said again and began pushing her towards the bathroom.

Her smile became seductive as they neared the bathroom and he knew exactly what she was planning to do once they got close enough. Just as they reached the archway, he leaned in and kissed her, pulling back almost immediately.

“Shower. No magic.” He whispered before quite literally _shoving_ her into the bathroom, pulling the door shut and locking it magically from the outside. He heard her irritated growl as she knocked loudly on the door.

“Seriously Hamish? You’re really not going to join me?” He froze as he was walking away. She actually sounded really upset and hurt. He was walking back and opening the door before he realized it. The second he saw her victorious face, he knew it was a trick and just barely managed to get the door shut and locked again before she pulled him in.

“Stop it! You _need_ to rest Vera!” If anyone had ever told him he would be locking Vera in a bathroom and denying her sex he would’ve laughed and thought they’d gone completely mental. And yet, that was _exactly_ what he was doing.

Holger had explained how important it was that she let her body rest as much as possible between Adrian layering the barriers and the ritual this evening. He could also see how exhausted she was, despite the ring amping up her sex drive. He leaned back against the door and listened as she grumbled to herself about _‘fucking werewolves teasing her’_ as she undressed and turned on the shower.

He heard her steps approach the door and grit his teeth waiting for her next trick. Instead he heard her clearing her throat as if she were uncomfortable.

“I know you’re right outside; I can actually feel you with this damn thing on, but umm, thanks.” He smiled and dropped his head into his hands trying to calm his arousal. This was going to be a long four hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the beginning was still a bit rough, but come on, that ending was worth it yeah? And next chapter will be filling in those 4 hours.


	82. The Ring's Sway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to get this one out earlier today, but at least I got it out before Christmas was over (by my time zone - Just barely!)

CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO

Vera spent longer in the shower than she had originally planned, but the hot water on her sore body was just too relaxing to force herself to step out. She was also still a little embarrassed over how she had been throwing herself at Hamish like she had. She knew it was _mostly_ the ring, but still.

When she finished getting dressed and went to open the door, she found it was still locked and flushed at the thought that he _had_ actually needed to lock her in the bathroom to keep her from jumping him. She knocked quietly and felt the magic holding the door shut dissolve. The second she opened door the delicious smells from dinner hit her.

She almost floated into the kitchen area to see Hamish with a dish towel over his shoulder as he finished plating their meals. Her eyes roved over him hungrily and she watched him freeze.

“Vera, no.” Her arousal was almost overwhelming the smells from dinner and his grip tightened on the plates before he quickly walked around the island counter. “Sit.” He ordered setting the plate for her across from him. “Vera, _sit.”_ He growled when she started to follow him while licking her lips.

She gripped the counter and closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. He watched as she forced herself to sit in the chair before drinking heavily from her glass of wine. When her eyes met his again, he saw she was back in control.

“Sorry. The journal was not exaggerating.” She looked up suddenly and tilted her head. “You don’t feel it though, do you? You or Emilie?”

“I think it has to do with the same reason we were able to pull and hold the power from you. Tundra and Charlotte somehow dull the rings side effects.” Vera nodded and cut into the steak before bringing it to her mouth. Her eyes closed and a small moan slipped through her lips at the taste.

“This is amazing.” Her eyes met his and saw him beaming at her with the compliment. She cut off another piece before he continued.

“How did you know we couldn’t feel it’s effect?” He asked as he refilled her glass halfway. He would be sure to only allow her access to _one_ bottle a day while wearing the ring. He watched as Vera flushed slightly before she swallowed heavily.

“When you’re all wearing your rings, I can _feel_ your magic. It’s like these currents and each one is identifiable. Having linked with you before, I knew yours from the beginning. And although I felt your arousal at points, I could tell it wasn’t all consuming in you like it was with the others.”

“Others like Ivan you mean?” She looked up at him calculating before turning her attention back to her plate and starting on the potatoes.

“Among others, yes.” His fingers clenched around his fork as he breathed deeply.

“What does it feel like?” She cringed slightly and bit into another piece of steak in an effort to buy time. He waited quietly while she finished, and her eyes jumped to his quickly before returning to her plate.

“Right. That’s why you were actively trying to turn him on further.” She sighed and set her fork down before scrubbing a hand over her face.

“It’s not like you’re imagining Hamish. Yes, I felt his arousal and yes, I enjoyed it and tried to pull it out further.” She watched as he huffed slightly and almost smiled at the jealousy he was displaying. “It wasn’t that I wanted to increase his attention on me Hamish. It was the flare of his magic that his arousal sent through me that I wanted to feel more of.”

She reached out and grabbed his hand, waiting for him to look at her. “It wasn’t just arousal directed at _me_ that I felt and enjoyed. Although it was easier to squash that enjoyment when I realized it was being directed at…” She cut off abruptly with wide eyes and a flushed face before pulling her hand back to cut another piece of steak.

“Vera?” She looked at him through her lashes and saw he actually didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Anytime anyone wearing a ring feels any emotion strongly enough, their magical current flares within me. I’m able to interpret it somehow. Jealousy and arousal are both extremely enjoyable magic while fear is almost crippling. It doesn’t matter who it’s coming from or who it’s directed at.”

Hamish watched her flushed face as she cut another piece of meat and knew she was hiding something. He leaned back in his chair and watched as she squirmed slightly under his unwavering gaze.

“Mine are stronger than the others, aren’t they? My jealousy and fear pulled you out of your haze with Ivan and Ishtar? Grounded you somehow?” She flushed deeper but nodded. _“Good.”_ He purred and she felt lust shoot through her at his hungry jealous tone.

“Sorry.” He apologized while cringing. She flushed scarlet knowing he was smelling her arousal again and grabbed her plate before quickly walking over to the couch to put distance between them. She had just gotten herself back under control when she saw him turn towards her out of the corner of her eye.

“ _You_ were jealous.” Her mouth dropped open before she shook her head and forced the bite of food into her mouth. “I know it wasn’t Ivan, because his focused was centered on _you_ the entire time.” He growled out with displeasure before walking to sit in the armchair beside the couch with his plate.

“I doubt it was Adrian or Holger and I _know_ it wasn’t Emilie or Fynn. That leaves Yara and Camille.” Vera couldn’t stop the slight growl at the French woman’s name. Realizing what she’d just admitted to unwillingly, she let out a huff and stood before she started walking towards her bedroom.

Hamish immediately felt bad for teasing and reached out quickly to grab her hand before he pulled her into his lap. She refused to meet his gaze but didn’t try to get up.

“Sorry for teasing. You don’t have to worry Vera; I didn’t even notice she was interested…”

“I’m _not_ worried.” She ground out and he pulled her into him further.

“You’re adorable when you jealous, you know that right?” Her unamused glare snapped to his and he froze briefly as he watched the irritation behind her eyes. He pulled her forward and kissed her gently, pulling back before it could turn heated.

“She’s has _nothing_ on you, you have to know that Vera.”

“It’s the damn ring! It’s making me act differently.” She grumbled as she leaned back against him and stole a piece of meat from his plate. She sighed heavily and turned into him so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

“It’s bad Hamish, I feel like I don’t have any control of myself sometimes. If it weren’t for your magic drowning out Ivan’s or pulling me up from Ishtar’s sway, I..I probably would’ve slept with both of them right then and there. Especially Ishtar, which makes me sick to my stomach.”

Hamish’s mood immediately soured at the thought and pulled her tighter to him. It was hell watching as Ishtar triggered each one of Vera’s weak points as if she knew exactly where to touch. When she had Vera pinned against the pillar and _that_ moan slipped from her lips, it had taken everything within him to keep himself from attacking the demon.

“Then I will keep mine steady. If you need more at any point, tell me. We’ll get through this Vera.” He felt her nod against his shoulder as her breathing started to deepen. Not wanting to risk waking her when they only had a few hours left, he tilted his head back against the chair and waited as the minutes ticked by.

His motions on her back and arms never stopping their soothing strokes as she slept. He heard the quiet alarm on his phone signaling they needed to get ready and released a shuddering breath as his arms tightened on her while she slowly woke.

Vera felt his trembling form as she woke and lifted her head to meet his worried gaze. She pulled him down gently and kissed him deeply, his concern for her overwhelming her desire to take things further. Pulling back, she kept her forehead against his and ran her fingers through the short hairs on the back of his neck to calm them both.

“We’re going to be okay.” He whispered and she knew he was mostly trying to convince himself, but she found herself nodding in agreement before kissing him once again.

She needed to be okay. The thought was echoed on repeat in both of their minds as they changed and drove to the temple. When he reached for her hand as they drove, she didn’t pull back.

When he parked, he watched as Ivan and Yara walked into the Temple and his grip tightened on her hand. “Stay between Emilie and me…”

“We have to keep the same order anyways.” He looked at her when he heard the bite in her voice. Her jaw was tense as she glared further down the lot. Following her gaze, he felt himself cringe and squeeze her hand tighter.

“Vera, I’m not...” Hamish’s words were lost to Vera as her gaze remained fixed on the other woman. She was wearing a tight black skirt and white blouse, hair flawlessly pulled off to one shoulder. Her right she noted with irritation, she had purposefully left her neck bare on her left side. The side Hamish would be on.

As if she felt Vera’s gaze on her, the woman turned and sent a small wave before her gaze flicked further over to linger on Hamish. Vera growled deeply and tightened her grip on his hand as the woman’s smile turned from friendly to seductive.

Hamish sent a friendly smile back at Camille with a small wave and waited until she turned and walked into the temple before pulling Vera’s attention back to him. He could feel the lust within him that her response to Camille was inducing, but after she opened up earlier, he knew she didn’t want to be acting like this.

“Vera, look at me.” He snapped and jerked her hand to pull her attention. Her irritated eyes landed on him and before he knew it, she was lunging across the car and had him pinned to the door as she kissed him.

He felt himself grow painfully hard as he pulled her into him tighter before he remembered what was causing her to act like this. He pushed her back and held her at arms-length until she calmed. Her eyes widened in shock as she sank back against her seat and brought her hands up to rest over her face.

“I don’t know if I can do this Hamish.” Resisting him was one thing, and that was hard enough, but dealing with Camille? It sent a primal force rocking through her to claim the man beside her.

“Yes, you can Vera. I have _no_ interest in her, you have to believe me. The second we start, I will drown their magic out. We just have to get there.”

“No Hamish, you don’t understand. I know _you_ don’t, but _she_ does. I noticed it before we started yesterday, and even after finding out that you’re a wolf, she’s making it clear she wants you. This ring? It’s not _letting_ me think rationally. I didn’t even realize what I was doing just now. From the second I saw her to you pushing me back, I wasn’t in control.”

He watched the fear swimming in her eyes and grabbed both of her hands. She was never not in control and it terrified her.

“Listen to me Vera. We _are_ going to get through this. No one will hold you responsible for what happens while you’re under the rings influence. They all struggle with theirs and we all know yours is more powerful. You also don’t get a break from it like we do. They know that. And you _know_ Holger and Adrian would fight for you if it came down to it.”

He watched as she desperately searched his eyes for some answer to a question he didn’t know. “I will be _right_ beside you Vera. If you start to lose control. I will pull you back, I promise. Okay?” She squeezed his hands again and nodded shakily before letting him go and starting towards the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some funny bits, mixed with some serious bits. But a huge part in this chapter is that Vera is opening up about her struggles and fears with the ring's sway without being pressured. HUGE progress!


	83. She's A Bit Territorial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in where I'm at planning-wise for this story...read my responses to comments last chapter as I went a bit more detailed than planned...but it made me super excited to get this one out so, I guess it's a plus! 
> 
> I would definitely like people's opinions on if they'd prefer one massive story (with little one-shots here and there) or two long stories (with the one shots here and there). Both options would fill in the same planned events, just split the story. If split, the comment thread in the last chapter explains where it would be split and what would be covered in the second part.
> 
> And we're on to day 2 of the ritual...uh oh

CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE

Now that Hamish was aware of both Camille’s interest in him and the struggle it was giving Vera, he hoped to be able to find some way to let the woman down easy without revealing too much. He watched as Camille greeted Vera and told her how happy she was that she was doing better today before he spotted Emilie walking in.

He quickly walked over to Emilie and pulled her off to the side before Camille could try to corner him. Emilie smiled as she gave him a quick hug before she noticed how tense he was. She looked around at everyone else before pulling him a few more steps away from the circle.

“What is it?” She whispered looking into his eyes. “Is something wrong with Vera?” She swept her worried gaze towards Vera who was talking with Holger but Emilie noticed she kept taking surreptitious glances towards Camille.

"Yes and no.” Emilie turned back to him and he cringed at the concern on her face. “She’s fine, but her control is starting to slip, especially when it comes to Camille's interest in me.” He watched the sly smile cross the girls face and felt a hint of a blush rising on his cheeks. “No, Emilie, stop it.”

“Oh, come _on_! You have to be enjoying it just a little bit.” His blush deepened again but remembering Vera's terrified face after she'd lost control in the car wiped it away.

“The ring is _forcing_ her to act territorial when she otherwise wouldn’t. She doesn’t even know she’s doing it until after and it doesn’t matter that she knows I’m not interested…” He broke off immediately as he smelled the rich perfume and saw Emilie’s eye signaling him to shut up.

He felt the hand land on his lower back a few seconds later and shut his eyes tightly just _knowing_ Vera was watching right now. He plastered a fake smile on his face and turned, stepping back so she was no longer touching him.

“Camille.” He greeted and he could see Vera glaring dangerously at the woman from her position. He watched as Adrian stepped up to Vera and felt the relief wash through him as he forcefully ushered Vera several steps away before engaging her in conversation.

“I was wondering if we might have a word in private before we begin?” He looked towards Emilie who sent him an apologetic look and squeezed his arm before walking over towards Vera. He hoped she was going to at least _try_ to calm Vera down.

He watched in shock as Camille’s hand came to rest on his chest as she stepped almost flush against him and looked up through her lashes. “I’m staying not too far from here.” She trailed her finger up and hooked it into his collar, tugging him closer slightly before continuing. “Maybe after we finish here, you and I could go back to my…”

“Mr. Duke, a word?” Hamish’s wide flustered gaze snapped towards Vera at the tone and immediately stepped away from Camille. To the others she probably just seemed annoyed, but to those that knew her they knew she was _pissed._ He turned back to Camille with a tight smile.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He could see the slight tremor in Vera’s hands as he approached and closed his eyes briefly knowing he was partly responsible for letting it get so far by not stepping back sooner. The woman's boldness had completely taken him by surprise. He saw the apologetic look on Emilie’s face and the slightly amused looks on Holger and Adrian’s faces as she turned, signaling for him to follow her out of the room.

“I was _going_ to tell her I wasn’t interested Vera.” He whispered in defense the second they were out of earshot. She kept walking stiffly until she stopped and held a door open for him. The second she shut the door she turned him and pinned him against it.

“Silence incantation.” She muttered before she brought her lips to his neck and immediately started marking him. He quickly cast the incantation but tried to push off from the door in an effort to make sure she was actually in control right now.

Vera growled deeply and shoved him back against it harder as she bit deeply into his neck and raked her nails down the front of his torso. He felt her teeth pierce the skin before she abruptly pushed off of him and turned away.

 _“Fuck!”_ She ground out through clenched teeth. Unlike the other times he had heard that word come from her, this time it did nothing but worry him. She brought her hands up to the sides of her head and clutched her hair as she took several deep breaths. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed and pushed himself off of the door before walking around to face her. He could see the battle for control she was fighting and pulled her into his arms. She clutched tightly at his shirt in the back as she breathed deeply, slowly trying to calm the emotions rushing through her.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked as he unconsciously swayed back and forth.

“There’s nothing you can do Hamish. The others still can’t know about us. I _barely_ got them on our side yesterday. If they found out I was so adamant about protecting you because we’re together…They _can’t_ know Hamish.”

His arms tightened at the defeat in her voice and he dropped a kiss to her head. He was about to respond when he heard a gentle knock on the door causing Vera to freeze in his arms.

“It’s just me.” Hamish felt the tension flow out of Vera as she nodded her head signaling that it was okay to let her in. He was both relieved and slightly concerned when Vera didn’t make any effort to pull away from him. Emilie locked the door behind her and turned towards them.

“I have a _wonderful_ idea.” She announced with that same sweet conniving smile Hamish had seen on her face hours earlier.

It was ten minutes _after_ Vera rejoined the group, looking completely flawless, that the door opened again drawing everyone’s attention. She looked to Fynn to see his confused disbelief and cleared her throat quietly to draw his attention. She subtly shook her head to tell him that what he thought he was seeing wasn’t actually real.

Emilie walked out holding Hamish’s hand with what could only be described as ‘sex hair’ and rumbled clothing. Vera knew Emilie's blush was real, but not because of what she was pretending she had been doing, just from all the disbelieving gazes that were being directed towards her.

When she caught sight of Hamish her eyes widened, and she started coughing slightly. His hair was still a mess from _her_ fingers and every mark _she_ had made on his neck went unhealed. The deep bite mark on the right side of his neck was like giant flashing neon sign that would be directed at Camille shouting ‘I’M TAKEN!’.

She could hear Adrian chuckle quietly as he turned and walked away while Holger used the same voice he used on Council while he was trying to keep his humor in check.

“Ms. Brandt, Mr. Duke. In the future I would kindly ask that you to wait until after you _leave_ the temple to participate in such activities.” Vera coughed again and flushed slightly sending a silent _‘sorry’_ his way. He sent a subtle smirk towards her before they started taking their places.

Vera listened as Hamish turned towards Camille after putting his ring on. “Sorry, um, she’s just a _little_ bit territorial, but I am _very_ happy with her.” Vera melted at the confession as she felt Emilie’s magic flow through her before she slipped her hand into hers and gave a gentle squeeze. She looked at the young woman and offered her a small genuine smile as she squeezed her hand in thanks.

“No offense taken.” Camille leaned around him and looked at Emilie for a minute before turning her attention back towards Hamish. “If either of you would like to…” Hamish felt Vera grip his hand tightly and returned the grip as he interrupted Camille before she could get the offer out.

“We’re not interested, but um, thank you.” He heard Emilie scoff at the request and just barely stopped his amused laugh at her act of being offended. Camille looked them both up and down once more and he felt Vera’s hand tighten painfully.

“Pity.” She offered before getting in position. He felt Vera’s hand slacken its grip as the immediate ‘threat’ was removed and saw Ivan snickering slightly as Camille’s rebuff despite the woman not seeming to be too put out over being rejected.

“Are we ready?” Vera asked sharply and he was sure Emilie, Holger and Adrian picked up on her annoyance and knew _why_ she was annoyed as they all smirked slightly and pulled out their rings.

She felt the magic wash through her and breathed deeply at the pleasure. Immediately she started to feel the arousal from Ivan and annoyingly from Camille. Her head whipped towards the woman in irritation and saw her hungrily looking at Hamish still.

Vera felt him squeeze her hand tightly and looked up to meet his gaze before she felt his magic flare to drown the others out. Her eyes shut in bliss as a quiet moan slipped out and waited until she grew accustomed to it. When her eyes opened again, he was watching her with a questioning look to see if she needed more or not.

She gently squeezed his hand and shook her head before looking out at the others. Adrian looked exhausted and she sent him an apologetic look, but he shook it off and steadied his stance waiting for the others to get control of their rings.

One by one they opened their eyes and signaled they were ready. She gave a resolute nod, gripped Hamish and Emilie’s hands tightly and signaled everyone to form the link. Several cell barriers ruptured but the outermost layer was still mostly intact.

All of them were waiting for Ishtar’s appearance, but two hours went by with nothing happening. It was just as she felt Hamish’s level of magic begin to waiver slightly that a slight burning started beneath the ring on her finger. Her hand twitched at the pain and she felt barriers in her finger rupture drawing her and Hamish’s attention.

 _“Shit.”_ She muttered as she saw the spidering lines of black and green beginning to creep up and down the skin of her finger from beneath the ring. She felt Hamish’s grip on her hand tighten and his magic flared back higher than before with worry.

“Vera?” Adrian asked as he saw the fear on both their faces. She looked up at him and opened her mouth before shaking her head.

“I don’t think she’s going to come out…She's...I can feel her shifting realms through the ring, but she’s attacking still.” She could feel Ishtar’s rage and magic attempting to reach her. The barriers Adrian had placed were helping to hold her off, but she could feel them slowly bursting as the demon pushed harder.

“Is there any way we can help?” Holger asked worriedly and she shook her head.

“She’s using the link between myself and the ring. If we sever the link in any way, she’s free.” She could feel Emilie’s fear through her own growing panic and squeezed both wolves' hands. “It’s mild, I’ll be fine. This is better than her openly attacking. I can handle it.”

 _‘Are the barriers holding?’_ Adrian asked and she closed her eyes for a second before answering.

 _‘They’re fighting against her, some from the outer layer have broken, but most are holding. Thank you.’_ She watched as he nodded and turned to assure Emilie first before turning to Hamish.

Their magic stayed powerful for the following hour and although the burning and veins grew slightly, she only felt a handful of barriers rupture. She felt the final wave as the second realm slammed shut behind Ishtar.

The current of agony pulled a pained yell and she dropped to her knees as several barrier cells collapsed throughout her body with the wave of magic. She heard Adrian calling to sever the link and the current of magic abruptly ended as they removed their rings.

Hamish and Emilie had dropped beside her and grabbed her hands again once they removed their rings. As the agony faded and her breaths became easier, she looked up and offered a small smile.

“Two down, seven to go.” She pulled her hand out of Hamish’s grasp and brought it to eye level to inspect it as it shook. She flipped her hand to see the veins had spread out on her palm as well. The dark black and green spidering lines had completely marked her hand and reached almost to her wrist.

She saw Hamish’s hand twitch to reach out for her and quickly brought her hand down to her lap and offered a smile to the group.

“Take the day and rest, we’ll meet back tomorrow at the same time.” She stayed kneeling as the others filed out, keeping her hand hidden until Adrian and Holger walked over and knelt before her.

Adrian held his hand out, raising his brow in challenge when she glared at him. Hamish reached out and pulled her hand up before placing it in Adrian’s. Vera’s glare snapped towards him, but he was glaring right back at her in challenge as Adrian looked it over.

“How much did she break through?” He asked and her eyes closed in defeat with a heavy sigh.

“The entire first layer.” She whispered with her eyes still closed. She heard his surprised gasp as Hamish’s hand came to rest around her back. “She’s not still attacking so there’s nothing to worry about. And even then, there’s really nothing we can do. I’ll be _fine_.”

“You will, but don’t hide the results from us. We can’t help you if we don’t know.” Vera rolled her eyes at Adrian’s words while looking at her lap, but the older man still noticed. “I mean it Vera.” Her eyes snapped up as she heard the unspoken threat in his voice telling her he would inform the others of her condition if she started hiding things.

 _“Fine.”_ She ground out and jerked her hand out of his grasp as she stood. “I’m leaving.” Without waiting for Hamish, she almost stormed out of the temple.

“We’ll both be here throughout the entire ritual, bring her here straight away if anything happens. I don’t think you have to worry though; we were able to build nearly thirty layers. She only lost one.” Hamish nodded at Adrian’s words, before he followed after an exasperated Vera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camille you are 100% in danger territory right now! Emilie is very clever, but will the ruse work...doesn't seem like it..
> 
> At least Ishtar didn't come out of the ring right? But what is she doing to Vera?
> 
> I've said it before and I'll say it again, I LOVE Adrian!
> 
> We have a few more chapters of Vermish coming <3


	84. I Can’t Heal Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you those that reviewed last chapter and especially those that gave an opinion on what to do with this story!!
> 
> I have decided this will be split in two parts, so hopefully sometime within the next week I'll be able to let you all know how many chapters are left in part one (which will likely be over 300k words - hence the split). 
> 
> I won't be taking a break between part 1 & part 2 and will continue planning future chapters and writing current ones just like I currently do, so no need to worry that the overarching story won't be finished.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR

Vera stayed silent on the ride back to the hotel, quietly seething in the passenger seat. She didn’t deal well with being backed into a corner and that was _exactly_ what was happening. Adrian was blackmailing her at every angle _forcing_ her to comply.

She felt Hamish’s hand on her thigh trying to calm her, but Adrian’s threat ran through her mind again and she forcefully brushed it off. His sigh echoed around the car as he brought his hand back to the steering wheel causing her own frustrated sigh to escape.

Hamish quietly started preparing a light meal while Vera paced back and forth in the living room, shaking her hands in an effort to work out the flurry of emotions. He heard her growl in frustration and raised his brow while she stormed towards the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

He heard what sounded like her brush being thrown against the wall with a quiet yell of irritation before the shower came on. He finished plating both meals and hesitated while he focused on listening to Vera’s quiet irritated rambling. It was too quiet to understand, but he knew she was still trying to work through the ring’s effect and would want to be alone.

Hamish left the plates on the counter and grabbed his blanket, draping it over the back of the couch before laying two pillows on one side. He brought both plates over to the table in front of the couch and sat on the couch sideways, leaning back against the pillows.

When he checked his phone, he saw several texts and missed calls and realized they had probably felt Ishtar’s attack as well. Sighing, he dialed Jack’s number to give an update.

 _“Hamish!”_ He cringed as he heard both the worried voices on the other line.

 _“Are you okay?! Where the hell have you been?!”_ Randall barked through the phone.

“I take it you felt Ishtar’s attack yesterday as well?” At their exclamations of _'obviously!'_ he cringed again and continued. “We started the ritual yesterday; she used the attack during it…”

_“Did they threaten you? Is that why you didn’t respond?!”_

“No, it was made clear that we have an alliance, and the other members all seem fine. Ishtar focused an attack on Tundra and me….”

 _“And they just stood back and let it happen?”_ Hamish felt Tundra’s irritation with his own at Randall’s tone knowing that when he said _they_ he meant Vera.

“No Randall, she didn't. Vera fought Ishtar off and protected _all_ of us. It took everything she had, including the ring’s full power to do so though and that took its toll. We were unconscious by the end of it. By the time we were up, it was time for today’s ritual. Ishtar _seems_ bound in the ring, but she’s still able to attack Vera through the ring's link.”

 _“She’ll be fine.”_ Jack offered quickly, talking over whatever Randall was about to say. _“Give us an update after tomorrow. Be safe.”_

Hamish took a deep breath to steady himself after the line went dead. He could hear the shower still going and debated checking on her but stopped himself. With the way the ring was affecting her, he was positive she would’ve gotten him if she wanted him to join her.

Not having much of an appetite with the images of her convulsing yesterday or the lines marring her hand he shifted until he was mostly laying down and just listened to the steady sound of water falling. He had drifted into a light slumber and didn’t hear the bathroom door opening or Vera quietly padding across the room.

She had finally gotten the torrent raging within her calmed to the point she felt she was in control again and was embarrassed over her reaction. She wrapped the plush bathrobe around herself and breathed deeply getting ready to face Hamish, but when she didn’t see him in the Kitchen she froze for a minute.

She quietly walked further thinking he may have decided it would be easier to just leave her to her own devices and go to bed. That thought hurt more than she would have expected it to. The second her gaze landed on him sleeping on the couch almost all residual tension left her and a soft smile spread across her face.

Quietly closing the rest of the distance, she carefully tried to climb in next to him. His eyes opened as the couch dipped and a guilty look crossed her face as she realized she was caught. He just smiled sleepily, turned slightly and pulled her against his chest.

“Sor…”

“You have _nothing_ to apologize for Vera.” He mumbled as his arms tightened further and allowed his eyes to close again. He felt her arms slowly work their way around his torso as she tucked her nose into his neck.

He waited for her body to relax, but she stayed tense against him. He brought his hand up to stroke along her back in an effort to help calm her, but the tension stayed.

“What’s wrong?” Her arms tightening around him and her nose buried deeper against his neck as she shook her head, had him fully awake in a second. “Vera? What is it? What's wrong? Do you need to see Adrian?” He didn’t understand her reaction.

At the man’s name her grip on him became vicelike and it felt like she let out a sob, bit no sound came out. He tried to gently push her away, but she shook her head vigorously and released a quiet _‘no’_ against his neck.

“Vera, please talk to me.” She released a shaky breath after a few minutes, and he felt her grip his shirt tightly.

“I...I tried to heal it…please don’t start Hamish.” She added as she felt him tense and a low growl went through his chest. She waited to continue until his hand resumed its steady pace on her back.

“I didn’t realize I was even trying until I was already doing it. And as soon as I stopped trying, so did her effect but…it made it worse Hamish. I can’t heal myself.” She admitted quietly as she lifted her hand so he could see.

The veins hadn’t spread much further, but they were beginning to wrap up the inside of her wrist now. As he watched her hand shake, he realized she was actually scared. His hand encompassed hers and brought it to his lips to kiss her palm before resting it flat against his chest.

“Do you want me to try?” When he felt her hesitant nod, he pierced his thumb and attempted a healing incantation. He immediately stopped when he felt her grip tighten and her head shake against his neck. He heard the choked gasp and looked down at her hand to see the lines had shifted marginally.

“It’s breaking the barriers and allowing her magic to spread. I can't use or receive magic without risking whatever she is doing to me growing.” She had been hoping it was just her using magic that had done it, but it was any incoming magic too. The barriers were trying to fight it.

“How bad?” He held his breath as he waited for a response. Vera shifted against him slightly and looked up to meet his eyes.

“I’m okay, it just means I need to be more careful going forward.” She could see the fear in his eyes and she brought her hand up to rest against the side of his face. “Really Hamish, I’m okay right now.”

“They’ll last though, right?” Her eyes shook slightly as she met his. She could feel his arms tightening around her with his fear. She already knew Adrian had been right, but seeing Hamish right now drilled it home. She _needed_ to make it through this for him and if that meant asking for help, so be it.

“I can’t promise you that Hamish, you know that.” She watched as his eyes closed tightly and he pulled her tight against him, tucking his face into her neck. Her fingers roved through his hair of her own accord as his racing heart slowed.

“I’d like to think they will. There’s twenty-eight barriers left. If she doesn’t come out and fight again and I stop using or receiving any magic outside or the ceremony, I _should_ be okay.” She could still feel the almost nonexistent tremor going through him as she held him.

“I’ll also let Adrian check me over after each ritual, okay?” His nod against her neck was followed by a gentle kiss to her shoulder. She could feel the ring’s effect beginning to stir, but her desire to soothe him and just enjoy laying in his comforting embrace was overriding it.

“Do we want to finish _The Martian_?” Vera felt his choked laugh as he pulled back and she could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears. She stroked his face gently before leaning forward and kissing him softly, pulling away before the ring could take control.

Hamish rolled onto his back, so she was resting on his chest and grabbed his phone from the table. It was when his hand landed on the plate that he remembered he’d made food.

“Are you hungry?” She just shook her head and shifted slightly so she could see the TV and listen to his heart. When he pulled the movie back up and started it from about twenty minutes before she fell asleep, he reached up and pulled the blanket down over them.

He hummed lowly as she snuggled in further and brought his hands to gently stroke over her lower back. He felt the words bubbling up and opened his mouth before he felt Tundra’s sharp jerk.

She was being more open, but he knew she still wasn’t ready to hear the words yet. Instead, he brought his lips to the top of her head to place a lingering kiss before turning to watch the movie with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how Hamish just kind of ignores Vera in full on meltdown mode and how quick he is to calm her embarrassment over losing control. 
> 
> I'm super worried for Vera right now :( But the next two chapters are going to be most Vermish moments - hint - Hamish DID promise her he would make it worth her while to wait until after the ceremony...


	85. Mine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you those that reviewed last chapter, I'm steadily working on plotting out the ending to Part one (Currently on Ch. 147 and I suspect only 4-7 more to wrap up part one)
> 
> Hopefully this nice long chapter makes up for the wait...and angst and pain we've endured...fingers crossed you all like it.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE

Hamish woke to a cool breeze brushing across his stomach. His immediate thought was to wonder where Vera was. His eyes opened abruptly in concern and he looked down just in time to meet Vera’s aroused mischief filled eyes before he felt the sting of her bite.

The sleepy lust filled groan left him as his hips lifted. He could feel her smirking against the skin of his hip before she nipped again and slowly started moving up his body. All traces of sleep left him as she crawled over him, careful not to touch _anywhere_ other than the path she was tracing with her mouth

He felt his hips raise again as his eyes closed feeling the bruising nip she left along his right rib. His hands went to grip her hips to pull her down, but she pulled back and gripped his hands tightly in her own. Her brow arched as she pushed his hands to the side of his head and leaned forward so her mouth was by his ear.

 _“My turn.”_ She purred biting his lobe before dropping to his neck to mark him. His hips lifted again, desperately seeking friction as she bit down hard enough to pierce skin. At his desperate growl, Vera hummed lowly and allowed herself to sit against him to provide some relief.

Hamish tried to lift his hands again to guide Vera into a rocking motion, but her grip tightened on his hands as she bit down on his neck again before pulling back to meet his gaze. Her eyes were molten, and he couldn’t stop the sudden thrust against her. Her eyes fell closed as she ground down against him with a low moan.

“Don’t move.” She ordered in a sultry voice and let his hands go, slowly dragging her fingers up his arms and shoulders. Pushing herself up to sit up, she raked her nails down his torso, watching as thin lines of red appear. His hands twitched and her eyes flicked back to his. “ _Don’t_ move.”

A lustful growl ripped from him at the order, but he forced his hands to remain where she’d placed them. He watched with heavy eyes as she slowly pulled his pants and boxers down, her teeth digging deeply into her bottom lip.

“Sit up.” He groaned again as she pushed off of him to stand but did as she asked. “Don’t touch.” It was a quiet command that he barely registered as she slowly began to sway in front of him. His brain took several seconds to realize that Vera had changed out of her bathrobe before he woke up and that she was currently doing a strip tease for him.

 _“God Vera.”_ He whispered as her shirt raised and lowered once again. Her hands froze and her brow lifted in challenge as his hands began to raise. He grumbled deeply and forced them down again through heavy breaths. The second they connected with the couch; her movements began again.

It was slow and absolute blissful torture, but her shirt was finally removed, leaving her in a black and emerald bra. Her thumbs hooked into the waistband of her skirt and gently pulled it down as her hips moved in a rolling motion, just enough that he could see the top of the matching bottoms before pulling it up again and turning away from him.

Her hips swayed further as if the music in her head had become more intense. The slow torture continuing until the skirt pooled around her feet. His hands landed heavily on her hips and her movements immediately stopped.

“ _No_ touching.” She challenged over her shoulder. His fingers dug in deeper and he unconsciously pulled her closer. “You promised Hamish.” His eyes closed tightly. He knew if he pulled her down to him, she would cave. But despite the torture, he wanted this.

He broke his hold with a growl and she immediately started swaying again. Her hands buried themselves in her hair, pulling it off her back as she dropped to hover just above his lap. His hands gripped the edge of the couch as he fought himself to not pull her down those last few inches.

One hand trailed down the side of her neck along the front of her chest while the other came up behind her and undid her bra. She could hear his breathing become more erratic as she straightened again, all the while still swaying.

She had never had _any_ desire to do a strip tease or give a lap dance before, but her dream had inspired her to give it a shot. His reaction was exhilarating. She had his complete undivided attention as well as his control. She had never felt more in control and more wanted than she did in that moment.

The jealously of imaging Camille seducing Hamish this way that had woken her was completely swept away the second she turned and saw his blown eyes focused on nothing but her. She knew how much restraint it was taking him to hold himself back and she bit her lip as a wave or arousal swept through her. He was doing it because _she_ had asked him to. He was willingly submitting to her, completely.

She slowly removed her underwear, allowing them to drop to the floor before slowly straddling him. Her hands came to rest on the top of the couch beside his head as her hips rolled over him. She increased her pressure and let her head drop back with a low hum before she felt his hands land on her hips again.

Hamish’s control slipped the second that hum escaped. His hands brought her forcefully into him and although she released a throaty moan of pleasure, all movement stopped on her end. He growled again and dropped his head back against the couch.

 _“Fuck_ Vera.” His fingers tightened on her hips and he unconsciously pulled her against him again before he found the willpower to pull back. She rewarded him with a quick nip to his neck and a rotation of her hips.

Vera was almost buzzing from the pleasure coursing through her. She lifted slightly and lined him up before slowly sinking down, reveling in his graveled moan. She’s not sure what _exactly_ compelled her next actions, but she knew Camille, her dream, her own desire and the ring's sway all played a role in it.

She lifted almost all the way off of him as Camille’s face flashed through her mind and brought her mouth to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “ _Mine_.” She growled and bit down _hard_ as she dropped against him. She felt a small burst of pain as several barriers burst at her unconscious use of magic, but Hamish’s actions swept the thought from her mind before she could realize what she’d done.

Her words set off a primal reaction in him. His hands gripped her hard as he turned and pressed her into the couch. His eyes silvered over for a second as he met her gaze before leaning in and biting hard just below her jaw as he began brutally rocking into her.

He brought his lips to hers in a deep kiss as a hand came up to palm her chest. Her head tilted back with a gasp and he immediately started devouring her neck again. He heard her whimper and sped up his pace while biting down hard against the side of her neck with a broken _‘mine’_.

The pleasure that swept through Vera was unlike anything she’d experienced before. The ring amplified _everything_ and almost slowed it down so she could feel every second of bliss. She felt him follow after her and the ring’s power pushed another wave of pleasure soaring through her.

Hamish collapsed on top of her gasping for breath as he came down. He had completely lost control just now and if it weren’t for her happy humming beneath him, he would be concerned. He _was_ worried for the moment she realized what he’d said.

She had declared it first, but _she_ was wearing the ring. They had already had the discussion yesterday that the ring was causing her to act territorial. He however had nothing to blame for his words or actions, just his own desires. Thinking about the ring’s effect on her also sent the frightening thought that he may have just taken advantage of her.

“What’s wrong?” Vera could feel him growing tense above her and was worrying that he was beating himself up over the brutal pace. Her hand slowly trailed along his back as she placed gentle kisses along his shoulder.

“The ring, you told me you can’t stop yourse…” She abruptly pushed him up so she could look in his eyes with a hard look.

 _“Don’t.”_ She bit out as she cupped his face and brought his lips to hers softly. “I wanted this Hamish, I started it.” She kissed him again before pulling him back down to rest against her.

“The ring may have _encouraged_ a few more…territorial actions on my part, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want any of this, I wanted it all Hamish. Please don’t second guess yourself when it comes to this.” Her hand came up to trace gently over the deepest bite mark she’d left.

She felt Hamish tense the second her finger finished tracing over the mark and watched as he pulled back with wide apologetic eyes. Her head cocked to the side slightly in confusion as his finger came up to trace one of his own marks on her neck.

He watched as her mouth opened before realization settled on her face and her own eyes widened before slamming shut with a groan. Her corrupted hand came up to trace the multitude of marks and the other swollen sections of her neck before she released a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry Vera, I wasn’t even thinking about not being able to heal them after.” He had a tendency to leave marks and it’s never been an issue in the past, but with the seriousness of the ring's effect and Ishtar's corruption, healing them was out of the question.

He looked down at her neck and cringed. The bite marks would be heavily bruised by this evening’s ritual, but the hickeys were already deep purple splashes littered across the pale skin of her neck and chest. He didn’t think he’d ever marked her as thoroughly as he had this time.

It was while he was observing her neck that his attention shifted to her hand that was gently rubbing the tainted skin. It wasn’t insanely noticeable, but Tundra _had_ noticed.

The veins had spread further up her wrist. He quickly sat up and pulled her up beside him before capturing her hand and inspecting the lines.

“You said it wasn’t spreading unless you used or received magic. It’s spread Vera, we need to see Adrian.” He was up and walking away before she could object, but her hand pulling him back gave him pause.

He looked down at her and saw the shocked guilt on her face. Keeping her hand in his grip, he sat down beside her and waited. Her eyes flicked to the marks on his neck and cleared her throat.

“I think...I think I may have used magic on accident. Can you try to heal your neck?” She refused to meet his gaze, instead watching as he brought his hand up. The yellow glow faded and he pulled his hand back before her eyes closed.

 _“Fuck.”_ She growled and he brought his hand up to feel the bite marks were still there. She must’ve done something similar to what she had done when she kept their wounds open during the rituals.

“It’s fine Vera…I uh…I kind of like it.” He flushed slightly, but it was true. Her marks usually faded within an hour max, now they would need to heal naturally. And the thought that she had laid claim on him just before giving him the deepest mark made it even more desirable for him.

“The others _might_ have bought into Emilie’s act yesterday, but if we both show up at the Temple this evening, together, with these necks they’re going to know something is going on.” He watched as she brought her hand up to her neck before her eyes closed and quickly snatched her hand back.

“No, absolutely not.” He growled at her as she glared up at him. “You promised, _no_ unnecessary magic. This counts as unnecessary magic…”

“They’re going to know Hamish, they _can’t_ know!”

“I would rather they know then you risk your _life_ to heal a few marks on your neck. Marks that for all they know could’ve come from some random person you picked up.” His eyes were wide and firm, but she could see the panic lurking just beneath the surface.

“Hamish…”

“No! This isn’t worth the risk Vera.” He pleaded with her as he pulled her into his lap. “Adrian and Holger know and they’re okay with it. If the others do find out, they won’t let anything happen to you or me. They will make sure the others keep it to themselves. Please Vera, don’t risk your life over this.”

His voice shook slightly at the end and Vera’s eyes closed in defeat as she dropped her forehead against his shoulder. “I won’t. I promise.” His relief was audible as he pulled back and kissed her hard.

“Besides, there’s one good thing that would come from it if they found out.” He said with a grin as he met her confused face. “Emilie is one thing, but there is no way Camille would continue chasing after me if she knew I was with you.”

Vera’s eyes immediately darkened at the mention of the other woman and her grip on him increased. He felt the sting of her nails on his back as her teeth began to close on his neck muttering a low rough _‘mine’_.

He twitched against her at the possessiveness before pulling her back to meet her dark eyes. He could tell the ring was amping up her desire right now, making her slight jealousy into a raging fire but his eyes darkened with lust as she gave a slight nod that she wanted it.

He brought his lips to hover before hers as he rocked up against her slightly. _“Yours.”_ He whispered before forcing her head forwards to meet his lips in an intense kiss. He felt her lift before sinking down on him and pulled her head in tighter as she moved.

He avoided her neck in an effort to not mark her further and dropped his head back against the couch. In her haze, she dropped her mouth to his to his jaw and neck as she began nipping and sucking along it, leaving a fresh wave of bruising marks.

When she got near the deepest mark she had made, he felt her pace falter as she bit down hard again, falling into the abyss. The pleasure that swept through him had his fingers digging deeply into her hips as he followed after her. He was sure her hips would be covered in bruises, but he had _no_ intention of letting anyone see those marks.

He held her close as they came down and could feel the ring’s effect flowing out of her as she relaxed against him. After several minutes he felt her tense and pulled her in tighter knowing she was realizing she’d just made his neck even worse.

“Really Vera, I like it. You would know if I didn’t.” He felt her small laugh as he used the words she always told him when he started second guessing himself. She pulled back and he saw the tiredness in her eyes as she took in the damage she’d done.

Her finger came up to trace over the numerous bites and his head dropped back against the couch with a hum of pleasure as his eyes closed. There was a sting of pain with the deeper layered marks, but it was drowned out by bliss in knowing she’d caused them to make it clear to everyone else, specifically Camille, that he was hers.

“Are you able to heal any of them?” She asked hesitantly and he opened his eyes to meet her apologetic look. He didn’t want to try, he wanted to keep all of the marks for the others to see. It would help with keeping Camille away as well as make it clear to Ivan that she wasn’t interested in him.

Still, he knew by her face that she was struggling because she’d enchanted him without control. He raised his hand and watched her face as he attempted to heal the marks. Her face dropped slightly when nothing changed.

“Vera, really, it’s fine…” Her frightened eyes met his and he realized there was something else worrying her besides the marks. He immediately sat up further and lifted his head fully off the couch.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He grabbed her hand again and began inspecting it to see if the lines had shifted, but she just turned it over in his grasp to hold his.

“What if you get hurt and whatever I did makes it so you can’t heal?” He saw the fear in her eyes and looked around quickly before spotting the knife on the table.

He wrapped his arm around her back to keep her from falling and leaned forward to grab it before sitting back. Her eyes widened as he brought the knife to his arm and quickly grabbed his hand to stop it.

“We have to test it Vera.” Her hands tightened before she let go and they watched as he sliced into his arm. He brought his hand up and quickly tried to heal it. He smiled at her sigh of relief when smooth skin was left. He sliced once again, barely scratching the skin and left it unhealed. They both watched as the mark knit itself back together with Tundra’s help.

“I think it’s probably safe to say it’s just marks _you_ choose to make. And let me emphasize it again, I _like_ the effect. Even if it’s just temporary, it’s nice to be the one carrying marks for a change. Make it clear to everyone else I’m off the market so to speak.” She flushed in embarrassment as she tucked her head against his chest.

“I will be more careful about leaving marks on you though. I know tonight is going to be a struggle and I am sorry to make it clear to everyone what you were doing. I know you’re not as comfortable with your private life being on display.”

Vera tensed briefly before shaking her head and relaxing fully against him. “It’s fine Hamish, this is a new situation for both of us. At the very least it should hopefully help deter Ivan. Though I am _positive_ both Holger and Adrian are going to find a way to tease me so I expect you to bear that with me.”

He tugged her hair slightly so she would meet his eyes and smiled happily at her. “That is a burden I will _gladly_ bear.” He smirked as her eyes rolled before a small smile twitched on her lips.

His smile slowly dropped as he continued looking into her happy eyes. His other hand came up to brush a stray hair behind her ear while his eyes remained fixed in a trance. Vera watched as his eyes filled with love and although she desperately wanted to hear what he was about to say, a larger part of her panicked.

“Don’t.” She found her herself muttering with wide terrified eyes as _‘I lo’_ slipped from his lips. Hurt flashed across his face quickly as his mouth snapped shut. “I’m sorry.” She whispered as she dropped her head against his chest.

She felt him shake off her apology, but he was tense beneath her. She kissed his chest gently as her hand curled around the back of his neck. “I just…I need more time Hamish, that’s all.” She pleaded as she pulled back to meet his eyes.

The second Hamish saw her pained panic filled eyes he felt bad. He _knew_ she wasn’t ready yet; it was just the moment that pulled the words from him. He forced a smile on his face before bringing a hand up to cup her jaw.

“Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.” He promised before kissing her softly. She melted against him and returned the kiss, letting her love for him slip into it. He knew how much she cared; she knew he did.

Their kisses grew lazy as exhaustion began to creep up inside of Vera and she found herself yawning into a kiss. She blushed when he pulled away, but his adorable smile made her realize her rebuff of his confession wouldn’t break them. They would be okay, she just needed time.

He pulled her to his chest and shifted until he was laying down before pulling the blanket from the floor and covering them again. His hand continued to stroke gently along her back as her breathing deepened until he was sure she was asleep.

“I love you Vera.” He whispered before kissing the top of her head. She hummed quietly in her sleep as she pushed her nose into his neck. Yes, she knew he loved her, she just needed time before she could actually hear the words. He would give her as much time as she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Territorial/primal Vera/Hamish isn't finished yet! Let me know what you thought


	86. Off The Market

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped to get this out yesterday but that clearly didn't happen so I promised myself today...I'm not thrilled with this one because it was supposed to be longer with some plot at the end but I kind of lost motivation to keep writing and wanted to get this out as a happy new years (barely 11:50pm here) gift to you lovely reviewers that keep my muse happy and engaged.
> 
> Trying to resubmit since AO3 is being weird again 🙄

CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX

Hamish woke to his phone buzzing on the table hours later. He heard Vera’s disgruntled protest as she shifted to his side to bury herself between him and the back of the couch. He gave a quick chuckle as he reached over and brought the phone to eye level.

_‘Is she doing okay?’ – Emilie_

_‘Oh, I also programmed my number in your phone. You’re welcome.’ – Emilie_

His laugh caused Vera to groan again as she shoved her face into his chest. “What?” She grumbled without amusement.

“It’s Emilie…” He felt her shift and pull her head away from him to look at the phone.

“Ask her if she has a fashion scarf.” She draped her arm over his chest while her leg came up to rest on his as she waited.

_‘None that would work for you Hamish.’ – Emilie_

_‘Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re asking for them for weird sex stuff.’ – Emilie_

_‘…Vera’s asking for herself isn’t she…don’t relay the other messages. What color does she want?’ – Emilie_

Hamish couldn’t stop the laughter but quickly raised the phone out of reach when Vera’s head lifted off his chest. She turned her gaze to him to see his flushed face and realized that whatever Emilie had just messaged, she probably didn’t want to know. She knew the girl had a tendency to tease Hamish.

“She wants to know what color.”

_‘Actually, I’ll just bring what I have. I’ll be there in twenty.’ – Emilie_

“And apparently she’s just going to bring everything. Unless you want her walking in on us like this, we may want to get ready. She’ll be here in twenty minutes.” He had expected at least a little bit of fight from her, but at the warning, she almost flew off of him and into the bathroom.

_‘We need to shower and get ready, give us an hour.’ – Hamish_

_‘I really didn’t need to know that, you could’ve just asked for an hour. Now I have to go bleach my brain, thanks for that.’ – Emilie_

_‘You are the worst.’ – Hamish_

_‘Nah, you love it.’ – Emilie_

_‘Better not keep her waiting._ _😉_ _‘ – Emilie_

Hamish laughed as he pushed himself off the couch and towards the bathroom. He tried the handle only to realize she had locked it and knocked.

“No Hamish, we don’t have time and she is _not_ walking in on us. Not again.”

“We have an hour, I told her we still had to get ready.” He heard the silence on the other side of the door before it swung open and she pulled him in. His humored laugh was quickly drowned out by a moan as she shoved him back against the door and started kissing him.

He lifted her up without breaking the kiss and walked towards the shower before turning it on. Vera felt the smile spread across his face and pulled away to see his hungry eyes fixed on the sink counter. He brought his lips back to hers roughly as he walked towards it before carefully setting her on it.

His lips left hers and trailed down her neck, careful to not leave any visible marks. He encouraged her to lay back against the counter as he trailed lower across her chest. Vera groaned deeply as he took the time to leave two bruising bites in the hollows of her hips before he jerked her closer to the edge.

Without pausing, he dropped to his knees and draped her legs over his shoulders as he began hungrily showering her center with his kisses. Her nails dug into his shoulder while her heel pulled him in closer as her hips lifted to ride out her high.

Hamish barely gave her time to come down before her was carefully pulling her off the counter and onto her feet. He dropped his mouth to her ear and gently nipped at her lobe.

“Turn around.” Her eyes closed at his tone as she allowed him to turn her away from him. His hand trailed from her hips up her back until it rested between her shoulder blades. He applied just enough pressure to let her know what he wanted, but not enough to force her.

Vera met his flickering gaze in the mirror and felt a shiver run through her. Her eyes roved over their marked necks and chests as she felt the rush of arousal building again. She felt his nudge on her back again and met his hesitant gaze. She bit her lip and offered a small nod before allowing him to bend her over the counter and apply enough pressure to hold her there.

It was a new position that offered challenges for both of them. To allow him to hold her down and take her like this, she had to give up complete control to him, but she found it easier being able to see him watching her in the mirror before her.

For him it wasn’t just the thought of taking full control from her. He had been hesitant to even attempt to take too much control since he learned about her past. But it was also the closest they’d come to the position that ultimately led to failed relationships on his end.

He felt her hand grab his hip and met her dark gaze in the mirror before she nodded. She was showing him that she trusted him and wasn’t going to let this ruin anything. That she _wanted_ to do this.

He brought his free hand that wasn’t restraining her to her hip and slowly pushed into her. He watched as her eyes closed in bliss at the angle and picked up his pace. Without realizing he was even doing it; he brought his hand up from her hip and smacked her.

Vera’s eyes immediately opened at the sting and she shifted slightly. His eyes met hers in the mirror and he watched her shake her head slightly with a small frown telling him she didn’t like that. He nodded in understanding and smoothed his hand over the red mark on her ass in apology.

When her eyes closed again, he bent over her and started kissing along her spine and shoulders as he moved. She let out a deep moan as he hit just the right spot and he brought both hands to her hips to hold her steady as his pace increased.

He kept his forehead pressed between her shoulder blades as he panted, her pleasured sounds echoing off the bathroom walls until she went completely silent. He tilted his head up so his chin was resting on her back and watched as her face crumbled in ecstasy and a choked scream ripped from her.

His concern that he had done something wrong flew out the window and his eyes glazed silver as he frantically rocked into her. Her hands came up to brace against the wall above her head as his thrusts pushed her further up the counter.

She knew she would have bruises on her upper thighs from the force at which she was being slammed into the edge of the counter, but she didn’t care. She wanted to encourage his pace and went to drop an arm so she could dig her nails into his hip, but he picked up on her wish just as her hand left the wall.

It was only him pulling back on her hips that kept her head from hitting the wall. He dropped his mouth to her back again not slowing at all and bit into the skin of her shoulder blade, sending her over the precipice with another breathless scream.

Vera came back to her senses with shuddering breaths and felt his gentle kisses peppering her back. She tilted her head to look up at him in the mirror and saw the smile on her own face. God, when was the last time she had looked so blissfully happy?

She reached her hand up and around the back of his head before pulling him to her so she could kiss him gently. Hamish lifted her off the counter and turned her to kiss her more fully. Would he ever stop craving this woman?

He pulled back and looked down at her softly. “You’re perfect.” Her blush darkened as she looked down at the compliment, but she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him before pulling back.

“We need to shower; Emilie is going to be here soon.” He nodded and allowed her to pull away. It was then that he took in the added marks and froze. Vera looked over her shoulder when she didn’t feel him following her and saw his face.

She stepped to the side to look in the mirror, cringing at what she saw. She had _always_ bruised easily. Ever since she came in to magic it hadn’t been an issue, but now that she couldn’t use it to heal and the ring was encouraging rougher behavior, it didn’t look great.

There were pale purple marks littering her torso from his nips, which didn’t concern her at all, they were minor. The problems were the deep red and purple marks. Her neck was by far the worst, which didn’t come as any real surprise. There were layers of handprint marks on her hips accompanied by two deep purple inflamed bites in each hollow.

She looked lower and saw that she had indeed already started bruising on her thighs from the counter’s edge. Turning, she swept her hair to the side and saw the broken skin on her shoulder blade and the already bruising skin around it. She could also see five small bruises from where his fingers had dug into her back to hold her down.

None of it bothered her, those past two highs may have been the best she had ever experienced in her entire life. But she could see the effect it was having on Hamish. She walked back over to him and grabbed his hands, pulling him towards the shower.

“Just because I bruise easily, doesn’t mean I like to be treated delicately so I don’t bruise. I told you before, never apologize if _we_ decide to get rough. This wouldn’t even be an issue if I could heal myself right now, so stop worrying.”

He followed her under the hot water, but she felt his hesitation still and pulled him into a kiss. “And just because I usually heal them before we go out, doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep them by the way. I kind of like the thought of letting others know I’m _off the market_.” She repeated his words from earlier with a smirk and she finally felt the tension sliding away from him.

She could feel the ring ramping up again as she kissed him and fought for control. Hamish sensed the struggle and pulled back to look in her eyes. He could see the lust swimming in her eyes, and it ignited his own again, but he held himself back.

“Do you want me to shower after you?” He could see her fighting with the ring and wanted to try to lessen its effect on her if he could. She nodded and he started to walk away only for her to grab his hand and pull him back to her mouth.

He sank into the kiss but pulled back when her hands drifted lower. Both his hands encompassed her own and brought them to his chest. Her conflicted gaze met his and she shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts.

“Go, quick.” She whispered and closed her eyes as he left. The second the bathroom door shut behind him she felt the rings pressure lessen and found herself able to breathe again.

She was quick to clean up and was glad she had sent him away because she couldn’t stop herself from flinching as she ran the washcloth over the bites or particularly deep bruises. It had been a long time since she had to deal with full blown bruises, and it was a bit more unpleasant than she remembered.

Still, as she swept over the bruised bite near her hip she flushed. His passion for her matched her own for him. No one had ever wanted her like he did, and she wasn’t lying. Every time she healed his marks, she had to fight the desire to leave them. To allow everyone to see that she was _his_ and he was hers.

She debated as she showered if she should bother with the scarf. One of the biggest challengers she was facing with the ring’s sway was her need to stake a claim on Hamish when it came to Camille. It was the only time she found she couldn’t control herself or the ring.

If Hamish was right and Camille made the connection, she should hopefully back off. The ring would no longer instill the idea that Camille was a threat to her and Hamish. The more she thought about it, the more logical it sounded, but she wasn’t sure if it was the ring playing with her mind to further lay claim to Hamish in front of Camille.

She knew that Hamish was the most important thing in her life right now, and the ring believed there was a threat of someone trying to take that from her. Rationally she knew better, and just looking at the marks he had made, it was clear that there was no way that could happen. But the influence of the ring saw it differently and the longer she wore it, the greater its influence grew.

In another three hours she will have been linked for Forty-eight. Even the thought of Camille now, after what they just did, sent the ring’s magic flushing through her with a need to find him and mark him. She needed to be able to focus on the banishment.

Her forehead came to rest on the shower wall as she breathed deeply trying to sort out _her_ desires from the _ring’s_ desire. After almost ten minutes, she decided she would wear the scarf this evening, and depending on how Camille reacted she may give in to the rings sway _tonight_ so she could prepare herself better for future ceremonies.

It would be a huge risk to reveal her relationship with Hamish, but if the ring’s effects caused her to lose focus at the wrong time, it could lead to devastation. She had to trust Adrian and Holger to help the others see reason if it came down to it. She was just hoping that Camille would back off now that Emilie and Hamish were pretending to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping you're all still enjoying this and I haven't lost anyone with the slower pace/length of this arc
> 
> Also, yeah, part 1 is officially all mapped out. Now to start mapping part 2.


	87. Emilie's Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely reviews last chapter, them (with some actual much needed sleep on my end now that the fireworks have lessened) have soothed my apparently self-conscious muse who now is feeling a bit better knowing people are still enjoying it.
> 
> Also, side note, I finally worked out a Story title for Part 2, would anyone want a little tease at what part 2 entails (with just the title)?

CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN

Vera threw on her robe and opened the door just in time to hear Emilie’s voice echo around the room.

“Jesus Hamish, heal all of that!” Vera cringed at the humored disgust in Emilie’s tone and wished her hair wasn’t pinned up in a towel right now.

“I can’t Emilie, just leave it.” Hamish caught site of Vera first and cringed at her look of discomfort. Emilie’s eyes followed his and widened as she took in the bruises and bites littering her neck and what was visible on her chest.

“Shower’s free.” Vera mumbled in embarrassment with her eyes closed and began quickly walking towards her bedroom.

“Why are you guys both covered in bruises…hold on, I don’t mean how they got there, so don’t even begin to go there. What I mean is why are they still there?” Emilie whispered as soon as Vera’s door shut.

“She can’t be healed without it eroding the barriers and risking her life. It’s not worth it. For me, we’re not exactly sure, but she unconsciously did something under the ring’s sway to not allow _her_ marks to be healed. I told you the ring was forcing her to be territorial.”

“Okay…a _little_ bit of warning would’ve been nice. I feel like I just walked in on my mom having sex.” Her eyes visibly widened, and her humor dropped as horror crossed her face. “Please tell me she didn’t hear me just now?”

Hamish actually listened closely to be sure, but Vera’s movements remained steady and he smiled and shook his head. Emilie sighed heavily in relief before grabbing the bag of scarves.

“At least now I know why she wanted a scarf. You should shower.” She said while crinkling her nose at him, and he found himself flushing slightly before beginning to walk off.

“Don’t tease her Em. This is already hard enough as it is for her.” Emilie waved her hand at the obvious warning before walking towards Vera’s room. She knocked quietly and waited for Vera’s approval to come in.

Emilie closed the door before turning around and freezing at the image. Vera was standing in front of the desk mirror in just a matching set of red lingerie and was tracing over a heavily bruised bite in the hallow of her hip with a soft happy smile. She looked up and met Emilie’s eyes before her own widened in shock and she reached for the blanket to cover herself.

“I _thought_ you were Hamish.” Her eyes closed tightly in mortification, and she sank against the bed facing away from the alarmed girl. She heard Emilie’s gasp and remembered the deep mark on her back. She cursed lowly and swept her hair off her shoulder behind her back to cover the bite.

Emilie walked around the bed and knelt in front of Vera watching the struggle on the woman’s face. She brought her hand up to Vera's knee and gave a gentle squeeze. When Vera opened her eyes warily, she was surprised to see the teasing look.

“I know you said it hurts sometimes, but _damn_.” She teased, bringing back the words Vera had used to retaliate against the her when Emilie first openly teased her in the forest. Vera found herself laughing lightly as she grabbed her hand and squeezed.

“Language.” She scolded without thought and both women froze briefly before Emilie sat on the bed beside her. Her eyes focused on Vera’s corrupted hand and hesitantly picked it up to inspect it.

“It’s spread.” She said sadly as she traced one of the lines. Adrian’s words about Emilie’s past flashed through her once more and she found herself pulling the girl into her side as she rubbed her arm gently.

“Just a little bit though, and now that we know I can’t receive magic I’m going to be more careful. I promised Hamish I won’t use or receive any magic outside of the rituals unless absolutely necessary. There’s still a few times it happens without thought, but I’m trying to dampen it.”

“You’re going to be okay, right?” Emilie felt Vera freeze for a second and turned into her giving her an almost suffocating hug. “Please tell me you’re going to be okay.” She begged into her neck and Vera tightened her hold on the girl.

“I can’t make that promise Emilie. I told Hamish the same thing. I promise that I am going to fight until my last breath if need be to make it through. Adrian and I worked together to make the chances significantly higher and I do think I’m going to be okay. I’m not going to give up Emilie, but that’s as much as I can promise.”

She felt the girl nod, but her grip didn’t lessen. Vera debated for a few seconds before she closed her eyes. “Emilie?” She called quietly and waited for the girl to pull back and meet her conflicted gaze.

“I need you to promise me something, but I don’t want you to think it’s because I’m giving up or think I’m not going to make it. I just need…” She took a deep breath as the girl’s eyes widened with fear. “Never mind, forget what I said.”

Vera closed her eyes against the pain that went through her at the thought of Hamish if she died from this. She knew her death was inevitable but if she could make it through and barriers remained, she could potentially have years with him. But that was only _if_ she survived the next seven days and _if_ any barriers remained by the end of it.

She felt Emilie grip her hand tightly and opened her eyes to see Emilie’s watery determined gaze staring back at her.

“I won’t let him give up; I promise. But you? You better fight like hell to survive this because we both need you.” Emilie’s words broke off as a small sob slipped from her lips before Vera pulled her into her tightly.

“I promise. Thank you, Emilie.” She felt the tears slip from her eyes as she held the crying girl. She felt Emilie pull back abruptly and wipe her eyes before pulling the bag of scarves onto her lap.

“He’s done.” She muttered and Vera was glad the girl knew she needed to keep on a brave face around Hamish. She offered one last comforting squeeze before they started looking through the scarves.

“What about the marks under your jaw? The scarf won’t cover them.” Vera had chosen a black satin scarf with red highlights to match the red shirt she had pulled out. Vera was in the process of adjusting the scarf when she asked the question and knew she was right.

“I’m hoping my hair covers it.” It was a lousy plan; they both knew it. Emilie thought to offer makeup, but as they weren't just a hickeys, they were bites, she knew it wouldn’t do much other than hurt. She also suspected neither of them really had any idea how to successfully cover one since they’ve relied on magic.

“Am I still pretending I did all that to Hamish?” Vera looked over at her through the mirror and saw the flushed, but willing face and smiled.

“You don’t need to say or do anything, we’re just planning to let them make their own assumptions.” Vera debated for a second and flicked her gaze towards the door. “Can he hear us?” She asked quietly and watched as Emilie tilted her head with her eyes closed before shaking it.

“I know he told you about the ring’s effect on me. The thing is, it’s growing stronger the longer I wear it. As a heads up, if Camille _doesn’t_ back down, there’s a good chance I won't stop myself from making it abundantly clear to her that he’s _not_ available. It’s the only time I’m not able to control the ring and with its pull growing, I worry that it may distract me at a critical moment.”

“I know you’re worried, but I also know he would _absolutely_ be okay with that if you thought you had to. Especially if he heard what you just told me. But also, because it would probably get Ivan to stop staring at you like a piece of meat which I know he's been struggling with since before the ritual started. I will also absolutely support it, you two are _way_ hotter than we are. Probably a lot more believable too to be honest. Fynn couldn't stop laughing last night every time he thought back to it, which I think is a little insulting to be honest.”

Vera flushed slightly as she gave up adjusting the scarf and turned towards Emilie. The blond stepped forward and fluffed the piece of clothing just a little bit before giving her a thumbs up.

“Have you eaten yet?” Vera asked as they walked into the kitchen and she began pulling out items to make caprese paninis. Emilie shook her head and stepped up beside Vera to help slice the tomatoes while she did the mozzarella.

Emilie’s motions froze as she went to place the tomatoes on the bread Vera just slid in front of her. Vera looked up when she saw Emilie’s hand frozen above the sandwich and saw the pain on the girl’s face. She eased the knife out of her hand before the tomato and grabbed both hands in hers.

“Emilie? What’s wrong?” Emilie’s eyes met hers and at the pain she saw, Vera couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. Vera saw Hamish walk out and stop abruptly at the site.

“I’m sorry, it’s stupid.” Emilie whispered in a quiet sob against her shoulder and Vera tightened her grip. She was pretty sure she knew what was happening. It was the same reason _she_ had had such a visceral reaction to Emilie when she hugged her a few days before Ally’s birthday, and again on Ally’s birthday when she wanted to make breakfast together.

Fynn had said it when they had first started camping. Cooking meals was something they both shared with their parents and her mother had always been the one to do dinner. She knew the thought had crossed both their minds that when Vera scolded her use of language, that it was a very motherly thing to do.

“It’s not stupid Emilie, I understand it completely. You’ve been on the receiving end of it, so you know it’s true.” Vera comforted not meeting Hamish’s eyes. She felt Emilie’s hold tighten around her and felt the bruises protesting, but she just pulled her in tighter as she rubbed her back gently.

After Adrian’s confession about what Emilie had gone through after her parent’s deaths, Vera knew the pain was still there. Always lurking beneath the surface despite her constant smile. It hurt to see the girl in so much pain and found her usual discomfort with an emotional situation to be nonexistent. All she cared about at this moment, was helping the girl in her arms.

“Can you finish?” She asked Hamish and he nodded, signaling she should go to the couch. Vera gently guided Emilie to the couch but cleared her throat quickly. Hamish looked up and saw Vera glance from him to the couch with a blush and he quickly performed a cleansing incantation with a deep flush.

“You guys are so gross.” Emilie teased quietly and Vera chuckled lowly as she guided them both down. She brushed the long blond curls away from her face and met her red eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She watched as Emilie’s eyes grew conflicted and could see the self-hatred flit across quickly. Vera knew she was only able to catch it because she’d seen it in her own eyes so many times. Her fingers came up under Emilie's jaw and tilted her face until she was forced to look in her eyes.

“What happened to your parents was _not_ your fault Emilie.” Emilie’s eyes grew wetter as she jerked her face out of Vera’s grip.

“You _really_ have no idea what you’re talking about so stop acting like you do.” Once again Vera knew exactly what the girl was doing with her cold words. She didn’t force Emilie to look at her, but she dropped her voice lower.

“Adrian told me everything, Emilie.” The girl looked up at her with confused eyes but she could see the fear behind the confusion at the thought that her words were true. Vera knew it was fear that she would look at her differently if she knew the truth.

“How would he…I didn’t even know him before we got back…” Vera shook her head slightly as she reached out and brushed Emilie's curls behind her ear again.

“He was there the night it happened and promised your mother he’d look out for you and Fynn. He was also there a year later.” Vera said quietly and watched as Emilie’s face froze before her eyes widened in horror as she slowly backed away from Vera.

“No.”

“Your therapist.” Emilie’s eyes grew wider as she shook her head. “He told you about a broken girl from Washington, right?” The fear in Emilie’s eyes subsided slightly when she didn’t hear the judgement in Vera’s voice and slowly nodded her head.

“It's a pleasure to meet you.” Vera said and held her hand out for Emilie to shake. She watched as comprehension fell into place and Emilie’s confused eyes held a hint of their usual sparkle.

“You saved me.” She whispered before throwing herself at Vera. It suddenly made sense why Emilie had been able to pick up so many similarities between the girl her therapist had told her about and Vera. It was why she had started to look up to the woman when the stories started coming in about the things she did to keep her disciples and students safe.

“No, you did that yourself Emilie. You are _so_ much stronger than I am, and you’ve already helped so may people, including both Hamish and me. I didn’t know your parents, but I _can_ promise you that they would be very proud to see what an incredible young lady you turned out to be.”

“How can you be so sure?” She asked quietly and Vera took a shaky breath to get the words out.

“Because, if my daughter had grown up to be even _half_ as kind and loving as you, I would have been so incredibly proud of her. You care so deeply for people, Emilie and your effect on others is obvious in anyone who’s met you. No one could ever be disappointed or upset with you because you only ever try to help.”

Vera’s words and the emotions behind them were enough that Emilie couldn’t stop the torrent of tears from falling. “I miss them so much.” She admitted brokenly and Vera tightened her grip as the girl broke over the loss of her parents.

She knew that with Emilie still blaming herself, it was unlikely that she had allowed herself to take comfort since her parent’s death three years ago. Just like Vera believing she didn’t deserve to have anyone comfort her, Emilie had bottled up her own pain. It took nineteen years for someone to break through her own self-hatred and show her it was okay to accept comfort.

She looked over at Hamish to see him watching with a mixture of pain, compassion and love as the girl continued to sob against Vera. She offered him a weak smile as she threaded her fingers through the blond curls.

Hamish had watched the exchange and though he didn’t know exactly what had happened, he knew Emilie had her own deep pain surrounding her parents deaths that had been suffocating her. As he watched Vera comforting the girl, he felt the pain of both their suffering and found his own eyes watering as he watched the girl breaking down in Vera’s arms.

After Vera met his gaze and turned back towards the girl, Hamish watched the image before him change suddenly. That same blond baby girl that continued to haunt him took Emilie’s place. She was maybe two or three years old and was crying in Vera’s arms as she rocked her. His eyes closed tight as he gripped the counter and shook his head to clear the image.

When he opened them, he saw Emilie in Vera’s arms again and Vera watching him with concern. He gave a small smile as he carried two plates over and sat on Vera’s vacant side. His hand landed on her thigh and squeezed gently as he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“She’s lucky to have you Vera.” He placed a soft kiss to her cheek before he stood and walked towards the other room, grabbing his plate along the way. Vera watched him walk away and found she somehow knew exactly what he had pictured.

She’s not sure if it would happen for everyone or just him, but the ring allowed her to actually _see_ what he had. She had seen the little girl he pictured crying in her arms. She also felt the desperate longing and devastation when the image cleared.

She felt the tears slip from her eyes as she pulled Emilie tighter to her. She wished she had never seen that image. Knowing he wanted kids she couldn’t give him was hard enough. Actually seeing the perfect baby girl he was imaging was absolute torture knowing she would never exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some were waiting for Emilie's trauma to hit...for those that didn't want it...sorry? But Vera was able to help her through it and I am just so here for that Vera/Emilie mother/daughter bonding!
> 
> Although I feel terrible for Vera getting sucked into Hamish's vision of the little blond baby...how's she going to react to this new turn...


	88. He's Mine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one still has some humor in it, but not as much as I was anticipating.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT

Vera was locked in her thoughts staring straight ahead as her fingers gently tunneled through Emilie’s hair. The girl had fallen asleep almost an hour ago and Vera didn’t have the heart, nor the desire to move her head from her lap.

She knew they would have to leave soon if they were going to make it on time, but she looked down at the sleeping girl and smiled softly. She would let her sleep until they absolutely needed to get up.

Her attention was drawn to Hamish’s room as his door opened quietly and he started towards her. She saw the blond baby in her mind and felt her fingers motions halt briefly. She had been able to feel everything in that second the ring opened his mind to her.

She knew he wasn’t giving up on kids to be with her, he only wanted kids if they were _their_ kids. It helped relieve her guilt slightly knowing she wasn’t keeping him from having that future with someone else. Still, when his eyes softened at the site of her and Emilie, she felt a stab of pain.

He filled a glass of water and set it in front of Emilie for when she woke up before sitting on Vera’s free side. His arm came up to rest behind her and Vera felt herself shift into him comfortably as he absently drew circles over her arm.

“How’s she doing?” He asked quietly and they both looked down as Emilie groaned softy and brought a hand to her head. Her eyes opened and she looked up, flushing slightly as she pushed herself upright.

“ _She_ has a headache but is otherwise fine.” She gratefully accepted the water and downed it greedily before looking back at Vera and Hamish. Vera was leaning back against Hamish’s side as they both watched her worriedly, while clearly taking comfort from each other.

“How can you guys be so _hot_ and yet so insanely cute at the same time.” Vera’s flush was immediate, and she pulled out of Hamish’s hold. She cleared her throat around the embarrassment as she stood, fixing her clothing.

“We should probably head out; the others should already be there.” She saw Hamish’s glare at Emilie and her apologetic look back at him as they both stood to follow her out.

When they arrived, the other two could see Vera’s discomfort had risen. She was looking in the mirror as she played with the scarf until Hamish reached out and captured her hand. She looked towards him with worried eyes.

“It’s going to be fine Vera.” He promised squeezing her hand to reassure her and she nodded stiffly before taking a deep breath. The three of them made their way into the Temple and Vera turned quickly to look at them both.

“I need to inform Adrian and Holger about the development or receiving magic. Try to get the others ready.” They nodded and walked over to start gathering the others. She saw Ivan’s congratulatory smile out of the corner of her eye as the man saw Hamish’s neck.

Before she could flush further, she searched for the two men and grit her teeth as she saw Camille was talking with them. Plastering on a false smile, she made her way over and greeted them.

“I need a word alone with them Camille” She signaled between Adrian and Holger and felt her blush deepen slightly as she watched Adrian’s brows raise. Camille’s eyes focused on the scarf before Vera saw her eyes widen slightly and Vera knew her hair was doing little to hide the bites and bruises under her jaw.

“Of course, Grand Magus.” She was surprised at the respect on the woman’s face, but then again, Camille certainly wasn’t shy when it came to sex. It was why she was struggling so much with the ring.

“Vera?” Adrian’s questioning tone snapped Vera’s attention away from the other woman and it was only then that she realized she had been glaring at her as she walked towards the group. This fucking ring was getting _ridiculous._

“If I do or receive any magic, it spreads. Do you know anything that could slow it?” She asked as she brought her corrupted hand up for inspection. She felt Adrian take it and found her gaze returning to Camille as she slowly started to walk towards Hamish now that Emilie had started talking to Fynn.

“And is that why your neck looks like it does?” Her eyes snapped back to the older man to see he wasn’t teasing her, but actually asking.

“I promised I wouldn’t use or receive unnecessary magic. He said healing it counted as unnecessary.” She said distractedly as her eyes returned to see Camille slowly backing Hamish towards a pillar somewhat tucked away from the rest of the group. She didn’t hear her low growl, but felt Adrian jerk her hand towards him pulling her attention back.

“And why isn’t he healing? Even if he didn’t choose to cast a healing spell, his wolf should’ve healed him by now.” Vera flushed as she bit her lip.

“The ring is possessive of its bearer’s…possessions for lack of a better word. I wasn’t in control when I did _whatever_ it is that I did to him, but he can’t heal…well, he can’t heal _my_ marks…” She squirmed in discomfort as she watched the amused but worried expressions cross both men’s faces.

And then she felt a flash of worry and irritation that she knew wasn’t hers before a blinding surge of jealousy swept through her. She whipped her head around with a deep growl to see Camille standing close and almost whispering in Hamish’s ear as he stared down at her in embarrassed disbelief from his position against the pillar. She didn’t hear Adrian or Holger calling her name, nor feel Adrian trying to hold her in place.

She jerked her hand out of his grip and pulled the scarf off in fury as she watched Hamish’s eyes snap to hers. She raised her arm unconsciously as Camille's hand came out to land flat on Hamish's stomach, just a few inches above his pants. She growled darkly as that hand started to shift lower, and flicked her fingers out straight before twisting, watching as Camille's hand jerked back from the heat Vera had placed under it.

Camille didn't back away however, too stunned by the sudden temperature difference and stared at her hand in confusion from her position against Hamish. Vera's rage grew dangerously at the oblivious woman and she brought her hand up again with a snarl to flick her away.

“Vera, _no_!” She froze and cocked her head to the side, hand still raised as she watched Hamish push Camille away from him and close the short distance between them, grabbing her raised hand. Vera didn’t realize her eyes had been flickering a pale gold as she glared over Hamish’s shoulder and met Camille’s confused gaze.

 _“He's mine!_ ” She growled threateningly pulling him closer and biting into his shoulder, keeping her threatening gaze on Camille. It was clear to Adrian, Holger, Emilie and Hamish that she was completely under the ring’s sway right now.

Vera barely felt Hamish pushing her away, her focus was on Camille. The woman looked between Vera and Hamish, but as soon as her gaze landed on Hamish, Vera let out another growl and they saw her hair begin to lift as the magic began to flow more heavily through her while Camille's knees began to buckle with the force of magic Vera was pushing down on her.

She watched Camille as she held up both hands in surrender and apologized as she realized there would be nothing between her and Hamish. It wasn’t enough to break the sway however, especially now that she could feel the blissful magic. Vera licked her lips and pulled on more magic as she tried to pull Hamish in closer while continuing to glare at the woman.

“Vera! That's _enough!”_ Hamish scolded roughly and met her hard glare as her attention snapped back to him. “Fight it.” He implored not breaking their gaze. He watched as the possessive fury began to melt into confusion as her hair fell limp against her back.

He saw the horror settle on her face and gripped her arms tighter before she could flee. “It’s fine, it’s okay.” He whispered sliding his hand down her arm to bring her hand up to look at it. The ring was hot against his skin, but it barely registered as he saw the lines had spread again.

“I'm sorry.” She apologized quietly before Adrian walked up beside them and took her hand while Holger confronted the group. He felt the ring go from burning to cold the second it left Hamish’s hand.

“Has it gone hot like that before?” He looked between the two and saw confusion on Vera’s face and shock on Hamish’s.

“No, this was the first time.”

“What are you taking about, it wasn’t hot…” She cut off as she remembered it had actually been hot, painfully so, just before the jealousy had flushed through her. And she realized it wasn’t the first time it had changed temperature without reason.

“It wasn’t the first time; I just didn’t use magic last time.” She admitted and closed her eyes as Hamish’s frightened gaze turned to her. “It happened once before, a few hours ago.” Adrian looked between the two and could see Vera’s discomfort.

“Is there a connection between them?” Her eyes flicked to Hamish quickly before looking down. “What is it doing when it heats up? You seemed to know what was happening without looking.” She cringed and took a subtle step away from Hamish.

“So far it’s only been present when others are involved. I get flashes of what he’s feeling which is what happened just now.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Earlier I was able to both feel what he felt and see what he was imaging.” She saw him freeze out of the corner of her eye and lifted her gaze to see his pained face.

“I’m sorry.” He knew exactly what she had seen and all he felt was sorrow knowing he was causing her pain. She offered a weak smile but waved his apology off. It wasn’t his fault she was suddenly able to see his desires.

“Has it reacted to Emilie at all?” Vera shook her head but realized what he was thinking.

“You think it’s from when they pulled its effect to them? Good, then there’s a chance I won’t start seeing what everyone is thinking and feeling while their not wearing their rings. The ring’s desires are bothersome enough on their own.”

“It’ll be fine Vera. We already agreed that any actions taken under the sway of the rings wouldn’t be talked about or held against anyone. They’ve all felt their ring’s effect and struggle with it, they know it’s worse for you. It was also clear to all of us that you were under the sway just now. Your eyes and hair gave it away.”

Vera looked up with wide eyes at the words before looking towards Hamish. “Your eyes were flickering gold and your hair was blowing around like it does when we form the circle.” She brought her shaking hand up towards her eyes in shock and looked to Adrian.

“We need to start, but if you could do a check after, I would appreciate it.” Adrian smiled widely and nodded. She was _finally_ looking after herself more and asking for help. “Good, get the sacrifice and we’ll start.”

She found herself reaching for Hamish’s hand as they walked back to the circle. He looked at her face and saw the action was inspired just as heavily by her own desire as much as from the ring’s. He offered her a reassuring squeeze before they stepped into the circle.

“Um, sorry, Grand Magus.” Camille apologized as she looked around Hamish to meet Vera’s mortified eyes.

“I should be the one apologizing Camille. I lost control back there…”

“Just shows you’re human like the rest of us. But you don’t have to worry, message received loud and clear. He's yours.” Vera flushed as she saw the approval on Camille’s face, but Hamish squeezed her hand again and she just smiled weakly.

Vera looked to Ivan and Yara and saw concern on Yara’s face, but she had expected that. Ivan’s look of envy was also to be expected, but she found herself unconsciously stepping closer to Hamish and tightening her hold as she met Ivan’s gaze.

She watched as understanding drilled into him under her unrelenting stare. His look showed her that he understood she had no desire for anything to happen between them. Ring or no ring, she was taken.

She felt Hamish’s arousal and joy leak through the connection at her stance before she felt Emilie lean in to whisper in her ear.

“Like I said, _hot_!” It was the wake-up call Vera needed to break the ring's pull as her wide eyes swiveled to the chuckling blond and a blush spread across her face.

“I hate you Emilie.” Hamish growled around Vera and the girl just stuck her tongue out before grabbing Vera’s other hand.

“Welcome to my life.” Fynn mumbled before Emilie landed a punch to his arm. “Really?! You’re the worst!” He grumbled punching her back only for her to shove him with a glare.

“Children, please!” Holger snapped with a smile and started laughing as both siblings _and_ Hamish looked towards him with apologetic glances. Vera and the others couldn’t help but join in as they fell perfectly in place with heads down like little kids being scolded by a grade-school teacher.

“Are we ready?” She asked after the sacrifice was placed. She was relieved to see none of them seemed to take _too_ much issue with the revelation of her and Hamish. But also that they didn’t look down on and lose respect for her for sleeping a disciple.

She felt the magic as their rings slipped on and felt the burning in her hand until they linked. She looked down at her raised hand with Hamish and both watched as the growing lines froze with the link. The relief in them both was visible, and they let their hands drop back to their sides.

Hamish flared his magic again to center her and she felt the bruises on her neck and body fading with the magic. Oddly enough, she could still feel the bites. Hamish lifted her hand again when he noticed, but was relieved to see the lines hadn’t spread.

Again, they waited for Ishtar to come out, but there was nothing for the first two hours. And then, just like yesterday as soon as they passed the two-hour mark, she felt the burning begin and tightened her grip on Hamish's hand. He raised her hand and saw the lines slowly inching their way up her arm.

“I’m okay.” She assured both wolves, but none of them loosened their hold. She felt the door to the third realm attempting to shut as a blast of pain swept through her as Ishtar fought to be released.

Hamish listened to the yell tear from her lips as she caved beneath the pain. Between him and Emilie they stopped her from landing heavily on her knees and he watched as the veins grew rapidly up her arm.

He clenched her hand tightly and watched the lines flash before their growth stopped and Vera collapsed against him breathing heavily. She nodded to Adrian and the link was severed. Hamish watched as the lines started to move again and rushed to get his ring off.

The second everyone’s rings were removed, the marks stopped. He traced the length of the veins to where they began curling up around her elbow. Vera grabbed his hand and squeezed.

“We’ll meet back tomorrow. Good job everyone. Adrian?” She dismissed the others and looked to see the older man was already approaching her. “Two.” She answered before he could ask how many barriers she lost and felt Hamish tense against her as the man’s eyes widened.

“That still leaves twenty-six. Let’s see if there’s anything we can do to slow it even further, alright?” Hamish helped her up stand and supported her as they followed after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ring is definitely doing some weird stuff to Vera and Hamish (at least just them so far?). I wonder what it is...Thankfully Hamish was able to pull Vera back in and Camille got the picture! But still, that's already 3 full barriers Vera has lost and the corruption has spread past her elbow already...those lines can't be good...


	89. Can You Reverse It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy times can't last forever, can they? 😭Don't worry, there's still a little bit of humor in this one...probably not enough...
> 
> Anyone that lives in Georgia, I love you! 🌊🍑Anyone that lives in Washington DC, please stay safe!

CHAPTER EIGHTY-NINE

Vera asked Hamish to wait outside while Adrian looked her over and thanked Emilie when she pulled him out before he could argue. Adrian looked her over and carefully began scanning her arm with magic. He checked to make sure it wasn’t causing the lines to grow before continuing.

“Do you want me to do a full scan?” If Vera didn’t have to worry about Hamish and Emilie, she would’ve shrugged it off. Though she also knew that if it weren’t for them, she wouldn’t even be here asking for help in the first place. She looked down and nodded before removing her shirt and skirt and laying down on the table.

She watched as his brow raised slightly in amusement as he took in the bites that went left unhealed from the rush of magic, particularly the two in the hallows of her hips and flushed before closing her eyes. “Do you want me to try to heal the bites? My magic isn't causing the lines to grow, likely because the barriers recognize my magic and therefore aren't trying to attack it.”

He watched as she bit her lip before nodding hesitantly. He nodded and laid a hand over the deepest mark on her neck before watching the lines on her arm closely as he started healing it.

She didn’t feel the barriers rejecting him and let out a sigh as he safely removed the marks. She watched as he stepped lower and went to begin healing the marks near her hips before she grabbed his wrist. She flushed deeply and wouldn’t meet his gaze as she cleared her throat.

“Those...those two can stay. There’s one more on my back that can be healed though.” He couldn’t help the slight grin at her discomfort before he signaled her to roll onto her stomach. Vera listened to his shocked gasp before he cleared his throat.

“If I’m crossing a line here, please tell me. But is this normal for both of you or is the ring causing this…need to mark each other.” Vera groaned in embarrassment and he couldn’t stop the small chuckle. “I know it’s impacting _you,_ but I want to make sure it’s not going both ways and affecting him somehow.”

“The marks are nothing new for him, although this is definitely more than previous times.” He could see the blush blooming across her back. “I don’t think the ring is swaying him so much as _my_ reaction to the ring’s sway is bringing out a more primal response in both of us.”

“Okay, then we shouldn’t have to worry about him. Tell me, have you felt _its_ effect on you since the barriers were made? I know you said you unconsciously used magic on him, I’m assuming that was without cost?”

Vera flinched at the reminder as he encouraged her to sit up. She shook her head slowly as she realized she hadn’t felt the nausea that usually came with the free magic. Adrian's hand landed on her shoulder as he met her gaze with a smile.

“That’s _good_ Vera, it means they’re working.”

“I’ve already lost three, Adrian. There’s still six days left. And any use or receipt of magic, that isn't yours, breaks them down.”

“I'm hoping that will only be when the ring is on and Ishtar is attacking you. But Vera, even if you were to lose two every day going forward, there will still be enough left over for several _years_. Don’t give up.” He saw the doubt swirling in her eyes and brought her corrupted arm up to inspect it once more.

“I’m going to try modifying a cell freezing incantation in an attempt to slow the spread, do you know what to expect?” He wasn’t expecting her to rip her arm out of his grasp and stare at him with pain filled eyes. “What is it?”

“That incantation is irreversible Adrian.” He looked confused for several seconds until his face fell.

“Oh Vera, tell me you didn’t.” He watched her eyes shake slightly before they closed and knew she had. “When?”

“Second year. I never regretted it until recently.” She unconsciously brought her hand up to stroke gently across her flat stomach before letting it rest there, lost in thoughts of that blond baby Hamish had imagined.

“That explains why that’s the only place I don’t sense her corruption, it's everywhere else but right there. It also would explain why the barriers I tried to place there failed to take hold. The cells can't be manipulated. Does Hamish know?” He asked softly as he pulled the chair up to sit before her and watched her nod her head slowly while swallowing heavily.

“It doesn’t stop him from wanting it though. That’s what I saw earlier with the ring.” She paused before removing her hand from her stomach and looking at him. “You said you are going to modify it…I don’t...I don't suppose you know any way to reverse it ?” Her voice shook slightly, and he saw the desperate hope in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Vera.” He reached out to comfort her as her eyes shut and her hands tightened on the table with ragged breaths. She flinched away from him and he watched her fight for control before her eyes opened. Her eyes gave away nothing of the pain he knew she was experiencing.

“It’s not your fault, it was my mistake. Probably for the best anyways. Do what you need to.” She offered her arm but kept her gaze fixed on a point above his head. He took her arm but hesitated.

“This _isn’t_ the same incantation, Vera. This _will_ fade.” He felt her pain as she just nodded numbly. She didn’t even flinch with the pain he knew accompanied the incantation and he knew she was turning in on herself so _he_ wouldn’t have to see her pain.

The second he was finished; she pulled her arm back and started getting dressed silently. The vacant expression never leaving her face. He wished he knew of some way to give her this. It was the first time she had ever asked for something and he knew of no way to grant it.

That incantation was as permanent as the one that was killing her. He had tried twenty years ago to petition the Council to remove it from where the younger students could find it, but they never cared. They didn’t see how it could ever be a problem or care if some young student came across it and decided to cast it on a whim. He realized now, seeing the effect that he should’ve fought harder.

“I am sorry Vera.” He watched as her hand froze before she opened the door. The second the door was open, the silence incantation broke and he could hear the siblings bickering. He watched as Hamish pushed off of the wall and encompassed Vera in a tight hug followed by Emilie.

The smile that spread across Vera’s face at their reactions was genuine and he felt a small amount of relief. She may not be able to have children, but she had formed a relationship with the young girl that would help them both. He had never expected the two to meet, but he sent out a silent thank you as he watched them take comfort in each other.

“Thank you, Adrian.” He smiled as Vera gave him an apologetic smile over her shoulder when the girl pulled away.

“Go rest Vera, tomorrow is another day.” He saw Emilie hesitate at the door and Vera give her an encouraging smile before they continued, leaving the blond alone with him. He smiled kindly as she walked towards him shyly.

“Vera told me what you did for me back then…I just…thank you for saving me.” He sat back in the chair and offered her a warm smile.

“I knew your parents Emilie; they were incredible people and loved you and your brother very much. Would you like to hear about them from when they were your age getting into all sorts of mischief?” Her eyes widened and she nodded excitedly before running to get her brother from the hallway. He gestured for them to both sit and began telling the two students about their parents from his perspective.

Hamish wrapped his arm around Vera as he heard Emilie and Adrian’s words. He smiled down at her as they walked and saw her eyes soften before she leaned up to kiss him. He pulled her closer as he returned the kiss before pulling back with a soft smile.

As they started walking again her arm came up behind his back as she leaned against him. He felt her stiffen and pull her arm away when they walked back into the ritual room and saw Yara leaning up against a pillar with arms crossed as she waited for them.

“It’ll be okay.” He promised allowing his arm to drop as they approached the woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you are, one theory debunked. Gilgamesh did not destroy/remove Vera's incantation as it is active. He could still be doing something with it, but it IS there and active.
> 
> Remember when I said Hamish imagining that little blond baby would hurt more and more each time it comes up...well now Vera knows and actively wants it but can't have it...warning, my muse is leaking back into pain realm, soon to be a little bit of a pain ocean (I think only for like 1-2 chapters though...maybe?)


	90. She Can’t Exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little humor, a lot of pain...what can I say other than that? Sorry, I should probably say sorry

CHAPTER NINETY

“Yara. Is there a problem?” Vera watched the woman’s gaze flick between the two and turned towards Hamish. “Wait for me outside?” He nodded with one last reassuring look before leaving the two women alone.

“This thing between you two, it isn’t new, is it? It’s not just the ring’s effect is it?” Vera pulled herself upright fully before shaking her head. “Does Council know?” Vera knew it wasn’t a threat, but she still bristled at the question.

“My personal life is no one’s business…”

“It becomes our business when our leader may be swayed into a trap by someone who was the leader of a known enemy…” Rationally Vera knew Yara wasn’t coming after her and Hamish, she was only bringing up reasonable concerns Council would have if they got word.

However, the ring’s sway almost had her pinning the woman to the pillar. She breathed deeply and clenched her fists to restrain the ring’s desire before meeting the woman’s eyes.

“I know you don’t trust the wolves Yara, but you said you trusted me. Trust me when I say there is no hidden agenda behind his actions towards me. Even before the rings allowed me to access all of your emotions, I knew that. Both Emilie and Hamish want nothing but to keep people safe.”

Vera watched as Yara debated her words and finally nodded. “Will you tell Council? Both about your relationship with Mr. Duke and the fact that Ms. Brandt is a wolf.” Her smile faltered slightly and knew Yara caught it.

“They aren’t ready Yara, you know that. If I tell them about my connection to Hamish, you know Invocare will be triggered immediately and this time they will make sure I’m replaced before killing me. If they knew there was another wolf, we could be looking at another war over the fear of more hiding in the shadows.

“You know I’m trying to change The Order. We need to start defending those who need it instead of the centuries of greed. You support that change more than anyone, that’s why we picked you. Right now, those kids who were chosen by the wolves are the ones that need to be protected. Just give me time to convince enough of The Order to see they’re not our enemies anymore. We don’t need to be at war with them.”

“I believe you. I’ve watched them with you and see that they are at least bonded to you. I worry that it won’t be as easy as you believe to convince the others, however. You know as well as I do, that there will always be those that stand against them, what will happen to those that resist if push comes to shove?”

“As long as they don’t try to hurt anyone, nothing. They will be welcome to transfer to a chapter without wolves if they wish. I will not force anyone’s hand, but I will also not idly stand by as threats are made against those I vowed to protect. That is anyone in The Order, including the wolves.”

Yara stayed quiet for several minutes before holding out her hand and smiling. Vera raised her brow and met her gaze.

“You have my full support. Both now and if you ever need it in the future. I want to see your vision of what The Order could be, come to pass. And I’ll also make sure Ivan keeps his mouth shut. I think he’s more put out his charm didn’t work on you then the whole situation. _Especially_ when it clicked that _you_ were the one responsible for all the marks he had just got done congratulating Hamish on.”

Vera flushed as her eyes closed but shook the proffered hand with an uncomfortable chuckle. The other woman laughed deeply at Vera’s embarrassment and couldn’t help the next comment.

“He gives as good as he gets though, if we’re to go by the state your _own_ neck was in.” She laughed harder as Vera brought her hand up to cover her face as she tried to compose herself. Yara took note of the lines on her arm and frowned.

“It’s spreading fast, Vera.” Vera pulled her arm down and inspected the lines at the melancholy tone. She looked back up at Yara and gave a weak smile.

“Adrian is doing what he can to slow it. I should be fine Yara, don’t worry.” Maybe if she said it enough times, she might actually believe it herself. She watched as Yara nodded, but the worry was still lurking beneath the surface.

“You should go, get some rest before tomorrow.”

Vera was relieved when she walked out of the Temple and saw Hamish leaning against the railing waiting for her. She sank against his chest with a sigh as his arms wrapped around her.

“How’d it go?” He asked as he steered them towards their car. He could see the exhaustion on her face again and was hoping she would actually be able to sleep when they got back.

“She’s offered her full support and won’t inform Council of us or Emilie. They really are a good group of people, some of the best The Order has to offer.” She surprised him when she didn’t shy away from his hand once they were in the car, just held it as she closed her eyes in exhaustion.

“Was Adrian able to do anything other than heal the marks?” She opened one eye as she felt his hand tighten and saw a mix of emotions on his face.

“He froze the corrupted cells in my arm in an attempt to slow her attack.” She watched his jaw clench slightly and gripped his hand a bit harder. “The barriers were made with his magic, Hamish. They didn’t attack him when he tried to heal me. I didn’t have him heal _all_ of them though, there’s two I’m rather fond of.”

She watched as his gaze flicked towards her and smirked as she traced over one of the marks. She felt his grip tighten and heard the low growl escape, but just grinned and closed her eyes.

“Do you want to take a bath?” Hamish looked over at her and saw her exhaustion had taken over. “Or just call it an early night?” He smiled softly as she nodded and walked towards her bedroom.

When he walked in, she had already removed her clothes and was crawling between the blankets. Once she was settled, she looked up at him and pulled the blankets down on his side making it clear she wanted him to join her.

He had been surprisingly disappointed when she walked out of the room with perfectly unblemished skin. Knowing that Adrian had been able to heal her when he couldn’t, didn’t help. Especially since she was being healed _because_ of him.

But she had picked up on his conflicting thoughts and with just a few words eased his worry. And seeing the bites still present on her hips when she climbed in, just proved to him that she wasn’t lying to make him feel better. She actually did like the marks, just didn’t enjoy everyone staring at them.

He quickly stripped down to his boxers and climbed in beside her, Vera immediately pulling herself closer to him. When she draped her arm across his chest, he could feel the temperature difference in her arm and brought his hand up to trail his fingers along the lines.

“Is it normal for your arm to still be so cold?” He felt her tense against him before her head turned more into his shoulder.

“Normally it would take about a month to return to a normal temperature.” Hamish’s hand faltered at the sad tone and felt her arm tighten on his chest. “He assured me it wouldn’t be a lasting effect this time and would fade, so I’m not sure how long it will take. Probably much sooner.”

Hamish knew now why her tone was sad. This was the same type of incantation as the one she’d cast on herself all those years ago. It was why her eyes had looked so lifeless when she opened the door after Adrian had finished. Not wanting to add to her pain, he just pulled her closer and dropped a kiss to her head.

“I…I saw her Hamish. She’s beautiful.” Vera whispered several minutes later causing Hamish to tense. He had suspected she had seen her when Vera admitted she had seen what he had imagined. He hadn’t been anticipating her actually bringing it up, however.

“She can’t exist.” He felt the tears wanting to spill from his eyes at both the pain rushing through him as well as the pain in her voice.

“I know.” He admitted softly and pulled her closer. He heard her choked cry and clenched his eyes at the anguish he heard.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, Vera. You have _nothing_ to apologize for.” His tears were falling slowly as she cried into his chest. He brought both arms around her and turned so he was facing her.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing, Vera. I know she’s not in our future and I don’t need her to exist to be happy. I also know you don’t want to have kids again, and I’m okay with that. It’s just, seeing you with Emilie this morning brought the image back.” 

“I asked. I asked Adrian if there was any way to reverse it.” His heart broke as she pulled back to meet his gaze. “She was so perfect. I…I did want her, Hamish.” He watched the silent anguish flow across her face before pulling her tightly to him.

“I’m so sorry, Vera.” He let his tears fall freely as he held her. He never wanted to cause her pain like this. He had hoped to be able to move past the little blond girl, he never planned to make Vera aware of her. He never wanted to be the one to present her with something she wanted just to have it snatched away from her.

Both were asleep, so neither noticed when Vera’s ring began to heat up, pulling them into the same happy dream of a future together with a little blond baby girl that would never come to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...next chapter is going to be sweet but really sad but also a happy chapter ending...as long as things go to plan...but definitely get your tissues ready


	91. Impossible Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those that reviewed. I had planned to get this out yesterday, but work was a nightmare and I had to stay three hours past my shift.
> 
> Anyways, that being said, this may be one of my favorite chapters so far, even though it is really sad for a good chunk of it.

CHAPTER NINETY-ONE

Vera woke first but had no desire to move from Hamish’s arms. The dream still too vivid. They were at her house, and she had walked out on to her balcony to see Hamish sitting around the fire humming softly. A little blond head poked itself up past Hamish’s shoulder and she saw her own eyes staring happily back at her.

She felt the smile spread across her face as the girl’s excited screech echoed around her balcony and she made grabby hands towards her. Hamish turned sharply at the noise and upon seeing Vera leaning against the doorframe gave a huge smile before looking down at the little girl in his arms.

“Mommy’s up! It’s so exciting we just have to scream!” The little girl screeched louder with a giggle as Hamish imitated her excitement. All the while she squirmed even harder in an effort to get out of his grip and to her mom.

“Is daddy teasing you princess?” She asked as she pushed off the door and walked forward to reach out and lift the excited girl from Hamish’s arms. Vera pulled the baby into her arms before making a ridiculous face involving puffing her cheeks out with wide eyes. The surge of love she felt as the girl giggled excitedly again and clumsily slapped her hands over her cheeks had her laughing as she pulled her daughter closer to kiss her forehead.

Vera felt Hamish pull her into his lap, careful to not jostle the little girl in her arms. She watched as he leaned forward and tickled the little girl as she squirmed in her arms, her peel of laughter echoing off the trees.

“Don’t worry little one, mommy will protect you from your mean old daddy.” Her humored words floated from her mouth before she turned and captured Hamish’s lips with her own. She felt his hands leave the little girl to trail through her hair and pull her closer.

It was only the little hands pushing their way between their lips that broke the kiss. They both looked down at the girl’s jealous face wearing the six-month-old baby equivalent of Vera’s scowl before meeting each other’s eyes with a smile.

Vera lifted the little girl upright so both of them could each smother her cheeks and tummy with kisses as she giggled. She adjusted the baby, so she was laying across her lap and took the bottle Hamish had been trying to give her. She immediately latched on and started happily eating as she stared up at her parents with wide eyes.

“I was hoping she wouldn’t put up a fuss this time so you could sleep a little longer. I know how tired you’ve been lately. She just doesn’t like to eat if she knows we’re home and can’t see you.” Vera smiled as she watched their daughter eat.

“I don’t mind. These moments with both of you are perfect and worth missing a few minutes of sleep for.” She watched her daughter’s eyes grow heavy and felt her mouth opening to mimic the huge lopsided yawn as she shoved the bottle away with her fist.

It was as Vera was brushing the curls off the sleeping face that she saw the wedding ring on her finger. Hamish’s hand came into view as he trailed a finger over the girl’s chubby cheek, and she saw his finger also held a ring.

“My perfect girls.” Vera turned towards him and captured his lips in a deep kiss before leaning back against him. “I love you all so much.” She felt the smile spread across her face as her eyes closed.

The last thing she felt before falling asleep in the dream was his thumb gently stroking over her slightly swollen bump where their second child was growing.

As the final thought from the dream swept through her mind, Vera found herself shakily lowering the blanket to look at her flat stomach. The tears left her eyes as she took in their hands intertwined and resting delicately over the flat section.

It was that view that had her pulling herself out of the bed carefully. Vera held her breath as she quietly made her way towards the bathroom. Her teeth sank deeply into her lip as she locked the door behind her and turned on the shower.

She didn’t bother removing her bra and underwear before stepping under the spray, too numb and distracted to even notice. She tried to stand, but with an anguished gasp breaking the silence she slid back against the shower wall. Her head falling heavily to her drawn up knees as she tried to quiet the sobs.

She pulled her head up and noticed her hand was resting on her stomach again. The flat expanse taunting her, drilling it in that the dream wasn’t real. That it would _never_ be real.

The water had started to turn cold, but she didn’t feel it. She was already numb as the dream played on repeat in her mind. So real she would have sworn it was memories instead of a dream if she knew for a fact it wasn’t real. She didn’t hear the knocking on the door growing more and more desperate the longer it went unanswered. He would’ve made such a wonderful father.

She was broken from her thoughts when the door burst open and her head snapped towards Hamish’s terrified face. His eyes swept over her, and she saw them zero in on her hand still resting on her stomach and let out a choked sob.

“Oh god Vera, I’m so sorry.” He stumbled over to the shower and dropped to his knees in front of her. “I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t need her to be happy Vera. I promise.” He pulled her unresistant form into him and out from under the cold water.

He felt her shaking in his arms and he wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or pain. He reached up and turned the water on hotter as he felt her hand shifting. Looking down, he saw her eyes had turned back to her stomach as her hand slid over it.

The shuddering breath left him as he captured her shaking hand and pulled it away from its resting place and finally got a reaction from her. Her hand tightened in his grip as she pushed into him with a gut-wrenching cry of agony and a new wave of sobs started.

“I’m so sorry, Vera. I’m so sorry for giving them to you just to have them taken away.” He whispered against her shoulder as she broke. When her sobs subsided, he carefully lifted her out of the shower and dried her off before bringing her back to bed. She rolled onto her side facing away from him and flinched when his hand landed on her side.

“I’m sorry Vera.” He whispered as he pulled his hand away. She had already experienced the loss of one child. Now because of him and this damn ring making it feel _so_ real she was having two more babies yanked away from her and he _knew_ she was blaming herself for it, again.

“Please leave.” It took everything in him to not make an audible noise at her broken plea.

“Vera…” His own plea came out in a ragged breath.

“ _Please_.” She cried softly. He leaned forward and kissed her temple gently before forcing himself out of the room. His vision blurred on the short trip to his room and he collapsed on the bed letting his tears soak into the blanket.

The light was bright when he woke but unlike its usual effect, he just cringed away from it and buried his face further into the blanket. A second later he realized what had woken him as her scent filled his nose.

Her hand came up to gently trail over his back before placing a kiss to his shoulder. He turned away from the sun and saw her in a sweater and yoga pants with her hair pulled into a low messy bun and swollen, but thankfully dry eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered before she crawled in beside him. He heard her relieved sigh when he draped an arm around her and moved closer. She was worried he would be upset with her for shutting him out, he could tell.

“We’re okay Vera. We’re both going to be okay.” Her breaths were shaky, but no tears fell as they held each other. This time when sleep took them, the ring remained cold on her finger.

Most of the day was spent in a sort of haze for the both of them. They weren’t tiptoeing around each other expecting the other to break, they knew they wouldn’t. They had spent time grieving the dream life and were just trying to center themselves for this evening.

Hamish kept his hand on her lower back as they walked into the Temple and Emilie was the first to greet them. At the blond’s bubbly greeting, he felt the tension easing from both himself and Vera.

When he looked down and saw the genuine smile on Vera’s face, he moved his hand to hers and gave her a gentle squeeze that she returned. Yes, they would be okay with time.

The others seemed to pick up on their more subdued presentation and didn’t bother engaging either of them in conversation. He focused on the lines on her arm throughout the entire ceremony.

The freezing incantation seemed to work to prevent the spread between them putting their rings on and linking, but he could still see the growth in the last hour when Ishtar fought against her. Once again it ended with her cry of pain as she dropped to her knees.

He listened as she informed Adrian of one barrier collapsing as he traced the lines curling up her shoulder. Adrian helped her up and walked towards the room to be looked over and reapply the freezing incantation. Emilie came up next to him and grabbed his hand as they waited.

“She’s going to be okay Hamish.” He looked to her and tried to offer a smile, but he knew by her face that it came out like a grimace. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“The ring is pulling her into my dreams, but it’s making them so real Em. Last night we were at her house sitting around a fire with our baby daughter while expecting another. She didn’t know she wanted that future until she saw it and she _knows_ it’s not possible. I know it was a dream, but they _feel_ like memories. She feels like she lost two more babies because of my inability to stop hoping for a future that’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered placing her arm around him. He debated for a few minutes before looking at the girl.

“Join us for movies tonight? Or maybe we can convince her to play a game?” Emilie beamed up at him and nodded. She didn’t need to be invited twice to hang out with them, especially if there was any chance she might be able to help them through this.

“What’s for dinner? Actually, there’s this great pizza place that delivers nearby, let’s do that. And ice cream!” Hamish started laughing softly as her excitement grew and she started listing what the best ice cream flavors were the best and why.

“Philly vanilla is by _far_ the superior flavor.” He looked up and saw Vera’s smiling face as Emilie stuttered to a stop in disgust.

“There are hundreds of flavors out there and you go with _vanilla_?! Not even chocolate, but vanilla?!” Vera scowled down at the girl before unconsciously slipping her hand into Hamish’s.

“I have to say I’m partial to raspberry sorbet…” Both women looked towards him as if he was crazy. “What, I like it.”

“Sorbet isn’t ice cream Hamish; we’re talking _ice cream_ here. You don’t get to pick the non-ice cream option. Vanilla or chocolate.” He looked back and forth and heard Adrian’s chuckle behind Vera.

“Between those choices? I’m going to have to side with Vera and go with Vanilla Em, sorry.” Vera smiled widely and arched a brow at the scowling girl.

“Of course you pick her side. You’re both wrong, but _fine_ we can get your boring vanilla. Just know I’m getting my own and I’m _not_ sharing.” At this remark Vera turned towards Hamish for an explanation.

“Movie night. Pizza and ice cream…unless you want something else?”

“You can’t call it a movie night if you aren’t eating junk food!” Emilie argued and Adrian squeezed Vera’s shoulder as he chuckled before leaving her to deal with the two before her.

“Pizza and ice cream are fine. Will Fynn be joining?” Vera asked as they started walking out of the Temple.

“He’s trying to catch up on what he missed while we were hiking.” She explained, skipping slightly. “So, what are we going to watch?”

“Whatever you pick will be fine…”

“She’s only saying that because she’s not a movie person…”

“I never said that. What I _said_ was that I don’t watch many movies.”

“Yeah…that means you’re not a movie person.” Emilie joined in as if it was obvious and Vera just huffed and dropped Hamish’s hand to cross her arms.

“I’m normally too busy…”

“Excuses.” Emilie disguised between fake coughs before flushing under Vera’s stern gaze.

“Do you want to watch the movie by yourself? It can certainly be arranged.” Vera threatened and Emilie’s steps faltered slightly as she tried to tell if Vera was actually annoyed or not. Hamish chuckled and placed his hand on her lower back.

“Don’t be mean…besides, we both know you won’t say no to her.” She arched a brow and turned towards him as she stepped out of his embrace.

“You’re right, _you_ started it. Emilie and I can visit while you watch your own movie.” He scowled at her before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her tightly into his side.

“I don’t like that plan. Emilie, stop teasing her.”

“What…but you…oh, this is _so_ not fair!” She stuttered as Vera gave her a wicked smirk and brought her arm around Hamish to lean fully against his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Vera and Hamish. This fucking ring just won't give them a break! Well, that's not true, it did stay cold when they fell back to sleep so there's that...
> 
> And yes, Philly vanilla is by FAR the best ice cream flavor, I don't care what anyone else says!


	92. Keeping Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I definitely wasn't expecting the huge ice cream/dessert conversation that happened in the comments of last chapter, but it seriously made my day (and distracted me from writing earlier, but so worth it). And yes, I absolutely went out and got myself some Philly Vanilla. 😂😂🤤

CHAPTER NINETY-TWO

Emilie and Hamish were preparing breakfast the next morning as Vera slept. The movie had ended late and Vera was too tired after being woken up to drive Emilie back and Hamish hadn’t wanted to leave Vera defenseless, so Emilie slept in the spare room.

He was growing a little concerned with how much Vera had been sleeping over the past few days. He knew seeing his dreams had taken a toll on her, so it could just be that. The problem was, he was concerned the ring was draining her and she wasn’t saying anything to him.

She had refused to let him be present or listen in on her conversations with Adrian and as she grew more and more exhausted by the day, his worry continued to mount. He knew she would hide it if there wasn’t anything that could be done, and he suspected that was exactly what she was doing.

“I think the ring is effecting her more than she’s letting on. Thankfully since she made it clear with Camille that I’m unavailable she hasn’t had a flare up of any unconscious magic since, but she’s sleeping most of the time we’re not participating the ritual.”

Emilie looked up from the pan in front of her to see Hamish staring at the bedroom door. She had thought the same thing when Vera hadn’t made it through the movie last night but wasn’t going to bring it up.

“It did say it increased their desire to sleep. Out of all the side effects they listed, that one seems to be the healthiest while wearing it. It gives her a chance to recoup after. Plus, I have a feeling it’s one thing she generally doesn’t allow herself to do back home?”

Hamish nodded in confirmation and she smiled. “Then it’s probably just that and nothing to worry about.” She was pleased with herself for hiding the doubt from her voice.

“Why do you think she doesn’t want either of us with her when Adrian checks her over afterwards?” She cringed at the question. She had expected it sooner to be honest, but she still didn’t really have an answer that would ease his worry.

“She doesn’t like to appear weak, Hamish. From what you’ve told me and what I’ve witnessed, asking for help isn’t something she’s comfortable with. It’s just easier when she only has to deal with one person. If there was anything to worry about, you know she would tell you…”

“Would she? She felt the ring attacking her in the forest but wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t follow her after dinner and catch her getting sick. If there’s nothing that can be done, she won’t say anything. She doesn’t want to worry us.”

“I didn’t know that.” She admitted softly with a frown. She had thought Vera had told him from the beginning and they both kept it a secret from her and Fynn.

“But Hamish, if it helps her get through this, then she deserves to make that choice herself. She may not say anything because she can’t fight the ring and deal with your concern at the same time. I believe that if she thought it was something serious, she would say something. You have to trust her.”

“I do trust her, Em. I just wish she didn’t think she has to go through it alone.” He sighed as they began plating breakfast.

“She’s still leaning on you for support though. I mean she’s even allowing herself to lean on you in front of others. You are helping her Hamish.”

Hamish was about to respond when they both heard Vera walking towards the door. He looked up and saw her eyes laden with sleep and her hair mused. She looked at them but didn’t even smile as she made her way to the bathroom.

“No one would ever suspect her to be so adorable when she’s tired.” Emilie giggled as Hamish poured a cup of coffee for Vera.

“And cranky before she’s had her coffee.” He chuckled as they sat down and waited for her. Vera looked at both of them when she walked out and scowled as they both laughed before downing the cup of coffee and pouring a second.

When they finished, Vera and Emilie migrated to the couch and Emilie pulled up the movie from last night, insisting Vera finish it. She had rolled her eyes but allowed Emilie to drag her into it.

Vera had left enough room for Hamish, but he said he had to check in with the others first. Vera nodded, relieved that Holger was still taking care of Council. She didn’t think she could handle everything that came with the meetings while under the rings influence.

She was still surprised when Emilie’s face grew hard at the mention of the others. Vera knew she didn’t like Randall, but it was a bit extreme for someone she had never met.

“Emilie?” The girl looked up at her name and cocked her head. “Why is it you hate Randall so much? You know his and Hamish’s relationship is close, so why not give him a chance?” Emilie’s happy eyes went cold, and she turned towards the television with crossed arms.

“I don’t agree with the things he says. It bothers Hamish, but he thinks he can’t say anything because he feels responsible for them. I think Randall needs to learn how to be a better friend.”

Vera stayed quiet for several seconds watching the tension in the woman before her. She agreed with her words, but at the same time she also knew the only time Randall and Hamish seemed to be at odds with one another was when she was involved.

“Please don’t hate him because him and I don’t get along. He cares about the wolves and I know he would care about you as well.”

“I don’t _care_ if he likes me or not. I care about you and I care about Hamish. And until Randall can actually care about his friend’s happiness, I really could not care less about getting to know him. Just because your friends with someone doesn’t mean you have to like their friends.”

“Emilie…” Vera started, but Emilie interrupted her forcefully.

“No. It’s not right. It doesn’t matter what is happening between you and Randall, he shouldn’t say the things he’s said to someone he calls a friend. I don’t like seeing either of you in pain, so I’m not going to become friends with someone who’s causing it. Now, are we going to watch the movie or not?”

Vera looked at the blond and saw the stubbornness in her. There would be no swaying her, she was too protective of them. She also understood her reasoning for not wanting to get to know the man. She reached out and squeezed her knee before indicating she start the movie.

It was almost an immediate change in Emilie as the argument dropped. Her face went from a hard cold glare to her typical happy smile. Vera was just hoping that the disagreement between her and Randall would be cleared up before she died. Hamish, and Emilie, would need all the support they could get.

Vera made it just over an hour before she started to feel the tell-tale sign of nausea building in her. She tried to breathe through her nose to quell it, but the lights flickering on the screen just made it worse. Quietly extracting herself from Hamish’s hold and insisting they continue to play the movie, she walked to the bathroom.

The second the door was closed and locked she rushed towards the sink and turned it on full blast before dropping down to the toilet and started retching. She could feel the burning in her shoulder and pulled her collar down to see that although the lines weren’t growing, they were glowing slightly at the edges.

“Shit.” She whispered brokenly to herself and laid her other hand on top of the glowing ends. They were both hot and cold. They were breaking through the freezing incantation Adrian had placed. The burning and glowing stopped and all she felt under her hand was warmth. His freezing incantation was gone.

Fear gripped her as another convulsion rushed through her. She looked in the toilet just before flushing and saw specks of blood. It was a small amount, easily could have been missed had she not felt the bizarre need to actually look. She knew its presence wasn’t a good sign.

Quickly flushing the toilet of the evidence, she wet her face and cleaned her mouth. After checking herself in the mirror to make sure she was presentable, she walked back out as if nothing was wrong and settled back in Hamish’s arms again.

Once the movie was finished, she would tell them she had made an appointment with the others to speak with Council. Until she was knew what was happening, there was no need to worry them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vera, what are you doing?! Lean on them! 🙄
> 
> And what the hell is happening to her right now? 😱


	93. The Barriers Are Holding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you guys hanging with the little cliff hanger last chapter...well...sort of...😬😂

CHAPTER NINETY-THREE

Vera tried to keep the fake smile on her face as the movie finished but she was almost positive Hamish had picked up on it and just wasn’t confronting her on it, yet.

“I made plans with Holger and Adrian yesterday to go over a few things before this evenings ritual. We’ll probably be busy for a few hours if you’d like to stay here…”

“We’ll come.” Hamish cut her off as he stood and ushered her towards their room to get ready. The second the door was shut he leaned back against it with crossed arms.

“What’s going on?” He watched her freeze momentarily before trying to cover it up.

“Nothing’s going on, I _told_ you…”

“Right, you made plans with Holger and Adrian yesterday.” He raised his brow as she nodded, still refusing to look at him as she started pulling clothes out.

“Exactly…”

“Right, okay. And when _exactly_ did we start lying to each other again?” He watched her hand freeze before her head dropped slightly. He waited for her to respond, but she just dropped her hand in defeat.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on Vera, but don’t lie to me…”

“The freezing incantation to slow the spread eroded during the movie, it’s gone.” He heard her weak explanation and bit his tongue hard to stop the verbal reaction. He quickly stepped up behind her and pulled her collar down to see the lines.

When he saw they hadn’t spread a shaky breath slipped from his lips as his head came to rest on her corrupted shoulder. He felt her take a deep breath and start to say something before closing her mouth and taking another deep breath.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” His grip tightened around her as she nodded. “Do you want to tell me?” He hoped she would, it was clear she was struggling.

“Not yet.” Her voice was shaking as she gripped his hands. “I need…Just let me speak with Adrian first, okay? I promise we can talk tonight when we’re alone. Please, I don’t want to worry Emilie.”

She sounded defeated and he pulled her into him further. “Is it serious?” He whispered in her ear on a choked breath.

“It isn’t good, but I don’t think it’s serious, at least not yet.” She felt him turning her in his arms before pulling her into a desperate kiss. She pulled back to rest her forehead against his, both hands still holding his head to her.

“The barriers are still holding Hamish. I should be okay; I just need to find out what’s happening and see if there’s anything else he can try. Now, we need to get ready and walk out of here as if nothing’s wrong. Please, I don’t want to worry her.”

Hamish could tell she was barely holding on to her own emotions. Emilie was right, she couldn’t handle theirs as well. He gave her one last desperate kiss before pulling back with a forced smile.

Emilie thankfully either didn’t pick up on their false smiles or realized they were both teetering on the precipice and remained quiet. When they walked into the Temple and Adrian and Holger did a double take at seeing Vera, she definitely knew the woman had lied about a planned meeting.

Instead of confronting Vera about it, she just grabbed Hamish’s hand and started pulling him away saying they’d be in the vault doing research until she was done with their meeting. They could at least study while they waited, hopefully take their minds off of Vera’s deteriorating condition.

Adrian on the other hand immediately ushered Vera into the medical room as her fear became obvious. He encouraged her to sit on the table and checked the lines before they even started talking. When his hand felt the warm skin, he knew why she was here.

“How long ago?”

“An hour. We were watching a movie when I felt like I was going to get sick. While I was it started burning and the ends glowed. Once the burning stopped, the incantation was gone. No magic was used so they didn’t spread, but it eroded the incantation.”

“I’m going to try…”

“That’s not all.” She interrupted with a wince. “There was blood in the toilet when I was done. It wasn’t a lot, but it _was_ there.” Vera watched the concern cross his face and knew she was right to be worried.

“There’s still _five days_ left Adrian! Why is this happening if I still have barriers up?”

“Did you feel sick at any time before or after this happened?” When she shook her head, he paced in front of her for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’m going to try laying the incantation again, let me know if you feel _anything_ different this time.”

At first, everything felt normal. The pain as the cells were frozen was similar, her arm began to turn cold, but then the nausea flared. She pushed him out of the way as she doubled over and started getting sick as the burning began.

He pulled the collar of her shirt down to see the glowing ends and feel the heated skin. When she stopped retching, he heard her whimper and looked to see her staring at the mess on the floor. When he looked down at it, he saw the blood that was present and cursed.

“I want to try one other thing, but if my theory is right, the reaction will be the same. Do you want to try knowing the risk?” He asked after cleaning the bloody vomit from the floor. She looked at him with watery but determined eyes and nodded.

Adrian took her hand and made a small cut on her palm. “Breathe.” He instructed and once she did, he tried to heal it. The cut stitched itself back together without the lines growing, but her reaction _was_ the same.

“Shit!” He growled as he cleaned the bloody puke again and started pacing. He heard her breathing pick up slightly at his reaction and forced himself to calm down.

“As long as I don’t feed anymore magic into you, you’ll be okay. With the barriers and the past few days of pumping more of _my_ magic in you, your body is rejecting it.” He grabbed both her shoulders as her panicked eyes searched his.

“I’m sorry Vera, I should have realized with the ring enhancing our power that my magic would wind up attacking you. We can try to have Holger do the scans after the sessions, but I do worry the barriers will erode with his magic like they did with Hamish’s.” He watched as she started to pull in on herself and placed a hand under her chin to force her gaze to his.

“No, you stop that right now Vera Stone. Don’t you _dare_ give up. The barriers are holding, all we were doing was slowing the effect to make them last longer, but they _will_ last. You will make it through this, and you _will_ have time with Hamish. You _have_ to believe that Vera, you have to fight!”

“Can you get Hamish?” His shoulders dropped at her weak request but left the room to find the younger man. Hopefully he could help her see reason.

He found Emilie and Hamish staring at books in front of them, but it was clear neither one of them was able to focus. When he walked in both looked up with concern that only grew when they saw his face.

“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Hamish was on his feet and moving towards him before Adrian had taken another step.

“She wants to talk with you.” Hamish’s face went white with fear before he started running back towards the room. He barely heard Adrian telling Emilie that Vera only wanted to talk with Hamish right now and the girl’s concern cry. He couldn’t worry about Emilie right now though; his focus was completely on Vera.

The door swung open and he had her in his arms before she looked up. She went to tell him she was going to be okay, but instead a choked sob broke from her as she buried her face in his chest.

Rationally she knew it was still very likely she would survive. The barriers _were_ holding. The only thing being affected was the incantation slowing the magic, and that eroded before each ritual ended anyways. She also knew her reaction right now was sending Hamish into a panic, but she couldn’t stop it.

No matter what happened, she _would_ die. Whether it was by the end of the banishment, a few months later or even a few years. It would never be enough time. Best case scenario she was going to be taken from him in just a few short years.

Neither of them noticed Holger quietly shutting the door before standing guard outside to ensure they had their privacy. Hamish pulled her in closer trying to extinguish the panic as Tundra shifting withing him, not understanding what was happening to his claimed.

“Vera, please talk to me.” He begged once her breathing regulated and he felt her pull back.

“My body can’t handle anymore magic from Adrian. It immediately rejects it…”

“The barriers?” The fear was thick in his voice as his arms tightened on her.

“They’re holding, but because they’re holding, nothing else can stay.” He nodded, but she could see it was just an automatic reaction.

“That’s what happened earlier, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just eroding the incantation, your body was rejecting it, wasn’t it?” He watched her nod. “What happened, _exactly_?”

“I got sick.” She sighed as he waited for her to continuing, knowing that if that was all it was she wouldn’t have been so worried earlier. “There was blood present. He tried to re-layer the freezing incantation and then tried a healing incantation. Both times it attacked my body and I immediately started getting sick, there was blood both times.”

Vera watched the fear rise in his eyes and finally felt the will to actually fight. She couldn’t give up on him, he couldn’t lose her. Not yet.

“As long as I don’t receive any more magic from him, it shouldn’t happen again…”

“What about during the ritual. You said you felt all of our tethers. Will his magic poison you during the rituals?” Vera focused on the question and found herself just _knowing_ the answer was no. Once the link was formed, she could sense each thread, but it was one source of magic coming in at her, not eight individual threads.

“It shouldn’t, no. I can sense them, but the power source is combined within the ring once the link is formed before it enters my body. As long as the link is formed quickly, I should be okay. We originally put performed the freezing incantation for my unconscious magic. Now that the ring no longer sees Camille as a threat, I haven’t used any. I’ll be okay.”

She found herself regaining control as she tried to reassure him. The barriers were her main protection, and they were mostly fine. The other stuff was just put in place as precautionary measures. She would be okay without them.

“Please tell me if you think something’s wrong Vera. You’re not in this alone, okay? Even if it’s just to talk through something, let me help.” She looked in his eyes and saw he was still concerned but had chosen to believe her that she would be okay.

“I will, I promise.” She kissed him gently before leaning into his chest again. “I need to get out of here. There’s a path nearby I wanted to visit last time I came but never found the time. They call it Philosophers Walk…”

“If you’re feeling up for it, I would love to go with you. Just spend a few hours away from everything. Maybe we can bring lunch?” She pulled away from his chest with a happy smile and kissed him quickly before nodding.

Hamish found the smile that spread across his face genuine as he helped Vera down and held out his hand for her. She didn’t hesitate in slipping her hand into his as they made their way to the door. Both paused when they opened it to find Holger standing guard.

“Thank you, Holger, you didn’t have to stay here.” The man smiled happily when he saw their matching smiles and clasped hands. “We’ll be back in time for the ritual, tell Adrian thank you for me if you see him before I get back.” At the mention of the older man, Hamish remembered Emilie’s terrified cry and pulled out his phone.

_‘She’s okay Em. We’re going to spend a few hours walking, just enjoying the day.’ – Hamish_

_‘Adrian told me. Enjoy your walk and give her a reason to keep fighting. She’s going to be okay.’ – Emilie_

“Emilie?” Vera asked as a small smile crossed Hamish’s face. He looked as he nodded and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her firmly against his side.

“She was there when Adrian got me. I just wanted to make sure she knew everything was okay, but Adrian already explained things to her. And _now_ , you and I are going to spend a few blissful hours away from everything Order related and just enjoy the beautiful day together.”

She rolled her eyes for show, but she relaxed against him further as her arm wound around his back. A few hours with Hamish away from The Order, demons and responsibility was _exactly_ what she needed. She may not get forever, but she was fighting for years. Today however, she just planned to enjoy being with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Adrian's magic won't erode the barriers like everyone else's, but anymore of his magic immediately attacks her body...so she just stops getting checked up or receiving his magic and she'll be fine right...well 😬 hopefully she won't need any healing anytime soon...but her and Hamish are getting a nice little date next chapter so...that's nice right...


	94. Craving Physical Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mostly happy chapter with some pain and angst sprinkled within.☺️😬😭
> 
> And yay!!! Officially over 200k words!!! Thank you so much those that are reviewing and keeping me interested!! 🎉🎉

CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR

An hour into their walk along the picturesque path one could see the tension that had been in both Hamish and Vera had completely melted away. They had quickly grabbed gloves and a scarf for her to not bring attention to her corrupted skin and it seemed without the visual reminder, they were able to let themselves forget for a few hours.

Hamish had spotted the little ice cream cart with a smile and pulled her towards it, insisting since she didn’t eat hers last night, they had to have one now. She rolled her eyes, but gratefully accepted the cone before he grabbed her hand again and they continued walking.

When they came to a beautiful overlook, thankfully unpopulated, he dug out the small picnic blanket and laid it out on the small hill. After they finished eating, Vera leaned back against his chest, just absorbing the calming view. Her earlier fear of not having enough time was gone. His words from the woods to cherish their time together echoing through her mind again.

Her head turned towards him, drawing his attention and he looked down at her with pure love. She smiled softly before leaning up to kiss him deeply. They may not get the future they both desperately wanted or the time, but what they would have would be worth it. She had to believe that.

“Thank you for bringing me here Hamish.” She whispered as she pulled back and settled against him again. He just pulled her closer and dropped a kiss to her shoulder as they turned back to the view. They didn’t need to talk or continue walking; this right here was perfect.

As the sun started to shift however, they both felt their tension beginning to rise again. They knew they had to leave soon and face reality again. Hamish went to remove his arms from her waist, but she stopped him.

“Wait, just a few more minutes.” They had that much. They would have to walk a bit faster on the return trip, but it would be worth it for just a _few_ more minutes of calm in his arms. She felt him nod as he tightened his arms and rested his chin against her shoulder.

Vera took a steadying breath and turned her head again to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. “Okay.” Only he would be able to pick up on the apprehension in her voice. He helped her stand and pulled her into another deep kiss before magicking the mess away.

“You’re going to be okay, Vera.” He whispered with his forehead against hers before she kissed him again and nodded. Hand in hand they walked back to their car and headed to The Temple.

The others were waiting when they walked in The Temple and Emilie barreled into Vera quickly before wrapping her arms tightly around Hamish. She could see they looked much happier and more relaxed than they had this morning, even if the worry was still present. They would pull through this.

Vera pulled herself to full height and signaled them all to get ready. Adrian waited to place his ring last before quickly completing the link. She waited for the nausea, but it hadn’t been given enough time to poison her. Sighing in relief and squeezing Hamish’s hand tightly she began the ritual.

Ishtar fought hard at the barrier of the fifth realm. Vera could feel the door wavering as she collapsed with Hamish and Emilie by her sides. She pulled more of the magic from the others as she shoved harder before she felt herself starting to grow dizzy.

“Fight Vera.” Hamish implored beside her, squeezing her hand hard enough to hurt. It gave her the strength to pull more magic from them as she felt a barrier collapse. Refusing to give up, she crashed against the door with the full force of their magic and after several moments of pushing felt it slam shut as another barrier collapsed within her.

She fell against Hamish as they removed their rings and felt the burning on her neck and chest stop. She hadn’t had to pull on their magic since the first day. Her head was cloudy as she fought to remain conscious.

“Vera!” Adrian’s shout pulled her alert and her head lifted from Hamish’s chest with a shake to meet his concerned gaze. She felt the weak smile spread across her face before nodding slightly.

“Two, but I’m okay. I had to pull on all your reserves but only two collapsed. I’m okay.” She didn’t understand why he was still looking at her with concern. Turning her head, she saw the other worried faces before meeting Hamish’s.

“Why are you all looking at me like that. I told you, I’m _fine_.” She ground out and watched Hamish shakily pull out his pocket square. His hand trembled slightly as it got closer and closer to her face. Her eyes started to widen as it connected under her nose and she felt it slide slickly against the skin.

Her hand came up to her chin and she felt the warm liquid before Hamish’s hand removed hers to clean the blood. He hid his fear well enough from the others, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the terror that was lurking beneath the surface.

Her gaze shifted to the blue cloth as he pulled it away from her face and her eyes widened in alarm. There was so much blood on it, you could hardly tell it used to be blue. She watched as he cleaned it before tucking it in his pocket.

“But…I feel fine…” She did feel fine. She was a little dizzy, but otherwise totally fine. Her eyes returned to Hamish as his hand lifted and began to trace up her neck. She recognized Emilie’s rapid breathing behind her and turned to see Fynn comforting her.

“She fought harder against this barrier, I needed to use more magic at one time, but I _am_ fine now. I’m okay.” She knew she was okay, but if everyone didn’t stop staring at her like she was about to drop dead at any second, she would lose her calm.

Pushing herself off of Hamish and to her feet she pulled herself to her full height and met everyone’s eyes. “I told you, I’m _fine_. Now, everyone go home and rest. We’ll meet back here tomorrow.”

She didn’t bother to stay and wait for anyone to acknowledge her words. She wasn’t going to risk her barriers having Holger attempt a scan. She knew she had twenty-three full barriers still. She would be fine.

Vera felt Hamish jog up beside her and clenched her teeth as a wave of frustration went through her. “Really Hamish, I’m fine. It was just too much magic at one time that caused it.”

“I know, I believe you.” Her steps faltered as she looked at him with skeptical eyes. “You promised me earlier today that you would tell me if you thought something was wrong. If you’re telling me that this isn’t something to worry about, I believe you.”

“I don’t think it is. I honestly feel okay. A little dizzy perhaps, but that’s it. I will tell you if it’s something serious.” She assured allowing him to wrap his arm around her.

“I think a nice, long relaxing bath is in order when we get back, what do you think?” He was still worried, but he was choosing to trust her. She leaned against his side further and hummed happily in agreement at the idea.

Vera was drowsily resting against him in the bath as he slowly traced the lines that had inched their way across her chest. The bathroom was filled with gentle classical music as they relaxed. Her full glass of wine went untouched as she had no desire to do anything other than lounge against him.

Hamish looked at her wine and realized she hadn’t really had any unusual cravings for it. Nor food so much. The only things she seemed to want more often was sleep and physical contact.

“Vera?” When he felt her hum in acknowledgement he continued. “Are you feeling any pull from the ring for anything?” He felt her fingers trail over his arm that was wrapped around her waist as she considered his question.

“You mean like what the journal said?” She dropped her head back against his shoulder as she thought. “Not really, not since Camille backed off. I have no stronger pull towards food or alcohol than before. I guess I like to sleep more.”

“And what about physical contact?” He asked hesitantly and felt her entire body tense at the thought causing a small piece of him to chip away at that it wasn’t completely _her_ that was seeking physical contact.

Vera felt him deflate behind her as she realized the ring was affecting her, just in a different way than she had expected. Turning in his arms so she could see his poorly veiled hurt face, she reached up and pulled him into a deep kiss. He returned it, but she could tell he was hurting. She pulled back and tried to find the right words.

“I think the rings drop our inhibitions, so we go after the things we want, but usually deny ourselves. I never deny myself a drink and I’ve never had a thirst for more power, so I have no desire to go after either of those. I never let myself get enough rest back home even though I desperately want it sometimes, so the ring is encouraging me to do so now.

“Sex has _never_ been an issue between us, but letting others know about us is something I couldn’t let happen. Therefore, when Camille was making it clear _she_ wanted to sleep with you because she thought you were available, the ring influenced my desire to make it clear that we’re together.”

She took a deep breath and picked up his hand before threading her fingers through his. She looked in his eyes as she brought their hands to her lips and placed a soft kiss to the back of his hand.

“And lastly, I know I have trouble showing it, but I enjoy these moments. It’s hard for me to admit it or act on it usually, but I _do_ like physical contact from certain people. I’ve just gone without it for so long, I don’t really know how to accept it readily. But just relaxing with you like this makes it easier to get through the hard days.

“I honestly didn’t even notice until you pointed it out and I wish I could tell you it’ll continue after the ring is gone, but I remember how difficult it was. When we’re alone, it’s easy because it’s just us and I am completely comfortable with you. But when others are around, especially those I don’t trust, I don’t know how to make myself relax and…”

Hamish brought their hands to his lips to kiss hers before pulling her into him. How was it she was able to crush him just to build him up even higher? He knew talking about feelings and showing signs of affection were difficult for her, yet she was doing it. For him.

“Thank you, Vera.” He saw her flush slightly before she laid back against him again. Her grip on his hand never wavering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, Ishtar is starting to fight harder, this can't be good 😬😬 I'm warning you all now, there's still lots of happy stolen moments, but things are definitely going to start to get rougher...😬😬😭😭😭


	95. Barricading Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's way to late to still be up but I wanted to get this one out as a thank you to those that reviewed last chapter. 
> 
> If there's spelling mistakes...well I'm exhausted. Enjoy.

CHAPTER NINETY-FIVE

The entire next day before the ritual was just spent enjoying and taking comfort in each other’s company. They watched a couple movies, and Vera had actually been able to make it through two before she fell asleep against him.

He carried her to bed and watched her sleeping peacefully as the minutes ticked by. Amalie thankfully hadn’t tried to attack her since they got back, but he was worried she might try when Vera was most vulnerable. He was hoping that she knew Vera needed her strength to defeat Ishtar and that Amalie’s hatred of the demon would overcome her hatred of The Order.

“She won’t attack me. She helped me the first day.” Vera whispered quietly and Hamish felt the heat from the ring telling him it had linked his thoughts to her. “Ishtar was trying to pull me into the ring with her and she nearly succeeded. It was complete darkness and I had forgotten everything about my life, all that existed was a calm peacefulness and desire to let it continue to carry me.”

Vera readjusted her head on his shoulder and started drawing absently on his chest. “I heard both Odin and Gilgamesh trying to get me to fight, but I couldn’t remember who I was or why I was fighting. I could hear the others arguing, but all I felt was this overwhelming fear of them catching up to me and a need to get away from them.”

Hamish’s grip tightened as he listened, he had been unconscious during this time, he hadn’t realized he’d come so close to losing her. She felt his worry and lifted her head to kiss his shoulder quickly before laying it back down again.

“I felt her pushing against the wards when I was pretending to make a deal with Ishtar. She didn’t get through, but I did feel her desperation as she tried to warn me of what Ishtar planned. When I was allowing Ishtar to pull me under, Amalie shattered the barrier and came to me in her wolf form. She forced me to remember who I was and what I was fighting for. If it weren’t for her, we would most likely be dead and Ishtar would be free right now.”

Hamish swept his gaze around the room, looking for some trace of her. “If you’re here Amalie, thank you.” He felt what seemed like a caress against his mind, but it was gone so quickly he wasn’t sure if it had been imagined or not.

“What time is it?” She asked after almost thirty minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet of their room. He sighed heavily and she knew it was time to get ready. “I’m going to be okay tonight Hamish.” She said pulling back to look down at his worried face.

“I know.” He pulled her down for a deep kiss and she allowed herself to sink into it for several minutes before breaking it with heavy breaths. She dropped one last quick kiss to his lips before climbing out of bed and pulling him up beside her.

Emilie met them outside the Temple and Vera watched her eyes rove over her. She pulled the girl into a tight hug when they got close enough and promised she was okay. She felt bad for leaving the girl to worry about her all night and day, but she still wasn’t used to other people actually caring about her.

When the others watched her carefully as she walked in, she was less than thrilled and found her irritation spiking at them. She gripped Hamish’s hand in frustration and heard his whispered _‘They’re just worried._ ’

“I’m _fine_ everyone. Now let us proceed, we only have four days left.” Her confident tone seemed to soothe the others and they stepped up to join the circle. Adrian linked last again, but even though he was quick, she felt the rolling in her stomach.

She could tell Hamish picked up on it when his grip tightened, but she just took a deep breath through her nose and shook her head to rid the feeling. It took several minutes, but she was able to prevent herself from getting sick thankfully.

Just like the previous nights, Vera felt the burning begin at the two-hour mark and begin to creep further across her chest and up the side of her face. She felt a sudden wave of fear that wasn’t hers, but as she looked around, she couldn’t place who it had come from.

And then she felt a searing pain in her mind and let out a pained gasp. _“I’m not trying to hurt you, I promise. She’s been trying to gain control and you have_ foolishly _left yourself completely open to her sway. This is all I can do. Do not push me out.”_ Vera knew that voice.

 _‘What are you doing to me?’_ She could see Hamish watching her with concerned eyes but shook her head slightly with a quick squeeze of her hand.

 _“Barricading your mind that you have left vulnerable. If she gets in, you will fail, and she will be free to kill the wolves.”_ Amalie told her with a growl before the pain increased.

 _‘Stop!’_ Vera pleaded when it felt like her brain was on fire.

_“If I stop, she wins. I will force her corruption from your mind…”_

_‘Why don’t you fight her yourself?!’_

_“I can’t. Not yet. Now. Let. Me. In!”_ Amalie snarled and Vera caved beneath her will.

She dropped to the ground, but she felt the burning sensation shift in its path. She could feel the blaze beginning to turn and creep back down along her jaw and across her neck before inching lower to her chest.

Vera could feel the door wavering and one last agonizing roar from Amalie as the burning dipped below her chest. _“NOW! You_ must _fight her back!”_ Amalie screamed in her mind as she released her hold on Vera.

Vera drew the magic from the others and slammed the door to the sixth realm before sagging forward. She felt the magic disconnect, but the nausea was too great, and she started heaving. She wasn’t sure if it was Hamish or Adrian, but before the contents of her stomach could land and show the blood, it was gone.

“I’m sorry Vera, I took too long to sever the connection.” Adrian apologized as he conjured a wet cloth for Hamish to rest against her head as she panted. “The lines, they changed direction once you fell…”

Vera looked up to see Holger had ushered the others away, including an unwilling Emilie. She reached for Hamish’s hand as she tried to catch her breath.

“It was Amalie, wasn’t it?” He asked quietly and Adrian’s eyes swept between the two until Vera nodded carefully.

“You said you sensed Ishtar’s corruption throughout my entire body except the enchanted section. Not just where the lines are. Ishtar has been trying to gain control of me this whole time. If her power lines had been able to connect with my mind, she would have it. Amalie forced her out.”

“Empress Amalie? She’s here? Why is she helping?” Vera looked up from where her head was resting on Hamish’s chest as she caught her breath.

“I told you, _we_ were wrong. _We_ butchered her children, _we_ sided with the corrupt leader. She was just trying to save everyone from the evil that accursed book brings. In the process of trying to save the world, she lost everything she had left, because of Ishtar. She hates her and will do _anything_ to defeat her…”

“She also knows Vera won’t betray her promise to protect us. Emilie’s wolf is her sister, and we believe her daughter’s wolf is Alpha. We have promised to try to find her. She doesn’t want to hurt us.” Hamish spoke up pulling Vera closer to him as her shaking slowly started to subside.

Adrian sat back and ran his hand through his hair before laughing. Hamish tightened his grip in concern before the man looked up. His face was filled with a shocked joy.

“You are incredible Vera. One of The Order’s biggest and most dangerous enemies of the past is still around somehow and instead of fighting her, you were able to convince her we have a common enemy. Because of your promise to her, there’s no doubt in my mind that we will defeat Ishtar. You never cease to amaze me with what you can accomplish.”

“I don’t know if she’ll continue helping. She said she can’t fight her. I think Ishtar must have done something to her to make her unable to confront her directly, but I don’t really know. All I know for sure is that we can’t rely on her to step in again. I will need to barricade my mind before each session…”

“But the barriers…”

“Allowing them to erode slightly is less damning then allowing Ishtar to access my mind. I only lost one barrier this evening. It’s the lesser of two evils.” She felt Hamish nod along with Adrian. “I’d like to leave now. Can you tell Emilie that she’s welcome to join us if she wants?”

A soft smile spread across Adrian’s face as he went to get the young woman. “I don’t want her to worry, but I believe both her and Charlotte deserves to know about Amalie’s assistance. Besides, we still have to finish the other two movies in that series we started before we head back home."

"Adrian was right Vera, you are incredible.” She flushed slightly as he tilted her head towards him to place a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Seriously? We’re in public.” Emilie teased through a tight voice and sank down on Vera’s other side, carefully pulling her from Hamish’s grip and into her own despite his glare. “What? You can share her. _You_ get to sleep with her, I don’t…I did not mean that the way it sounded. No, stop laughing at me!”

Vera and Hamish at first had blushed but as Emilie’s face grew red with her words, their humor overtook their embarrassment. Vera gave her a tight hug, before pushing herself slowly to her feet. She felt them both grab an arm to steady her before she gave them each a smile.

“I believe The Two Towers was next on the list?” Emilie smiled wide and linked her arm through Vera’s with a firm nod.

“Mmmhmm, just wait for the scene where…”

“Hey! Quiet! She _hasn’t_ seen it yet.” Hamish admonished threading his hand through Vera’s.

“You know she’s going to fall asleep before it happens anyway…”

“Excuse _you_ , I resent that…they’re just so long and we start them so late.” She defended as they both looked at her with raised brows.

“All I will say is that you _have_ to stay awake because the battle that happens in the movie is by far one of the best movie battles ever. Though you know the one in the third movie with the… _ya know_ , that one is also incredible…actually, just accept that all three are fantastic and we will be doing annual marathons.”

Vera felt the stab of pain at the girl’s excitement. Annual, meaning yearly, meaning more than one. _No_ , she scolded herself. She _would_ survive and they _would_ be able to have this for at least a few years. She had to believe that

“You do remember she’s not a morning person either, right? I don’t know if we can do all three in one day…”

“We’ll hook a caffeine drip up to her if need be. I’m sure Fynn can figure something out. It’s happening, just accept it.”

“Whatever you say Emilie.” Vera’s tone caused a skeptical look to cross the girl’s face.

“You’re totally just going to sleep against Hamish, aren’t you?”

“If you try to wake me up at some ungodly hour to watch three four-hour movies on my day off? You can be absolutely positive that I’m going to sleep against him.” She gave a huff of displeasure as Hamish leaned over and kissed her cheek softly.

“I’m totally okay with that.” Vera may not have realized what she just admitted to wanting, but he caught it. They were talking about a yearly tradition and she envisioned herself falling asleep on him. Even if she couldn’t hear that he loved her or admit it verbally herself, she just told them that she saw her future with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amalie makes another appearance! And the corruption lines have been explained...or have they? Yes, this one was planned back when I did the LotR marathon so of course I had to throw it in here. Let me know what you thought!


	96. Pulling Threads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...those that haven't seen the Lord of the Rings movies (which really is tragic mind you), you may not understand a few references I'll make, but that's okay.
> 
> Important (long) note at the bottom in regards to Part 2 to this story that I'd like people's input in on 🥰

CHAPTER NINETY-SIX

Emilie made Vera several cups of coffee and she _was_ actually able to stay up for the entire movie and had to admit the battle of Helm’s Deep was pretty good. Especially when they rode out to meet the swarm or reckless hate just as Gandalf came in to save the day.

When Emilie tried to encourage them to watch the third movie however, Vera immediately shut that down. She did promise that they could watch it in the morning, as long as she didn’t try to wake her up at an ungodly hour.

And yet, that’s exactly how she found herself the following morning. Emilie was _just_ a little louder than usual in the kitchen and as Vera turned into Hamish’s chest with a huff, she felt his deep chuckle.

“She’s been waiting for an hour already; I think her excitement is too much to contain.” Vera groaned into his chest before pulling back and pushing off the bed.

“She’s already seen the movies! _Several_ times! I’m keeping my promise, I will be present, but I am _absolutely_ going to be sleeping.” She grumbled before making her way towards the bathroom.

“Good morn…I woke you. I’m sorry!” He heard Emilie’s innocent excited voice drop to apologetic and knew Vera had just sent her one of _those_ glares. He pushed himself out of bed and pulled on sweatpants and a shirt before joining Emilie in the kitchen.

“I didn’t _mean_ to wake her.” Emilie pouted as she pulled open the oven to check breakfast. Hamish smelled the dessert and immediately smiled.

“Trust me, when she sees what you’re making, all will be forgiven.” He assured before pouring Vera a cup of coffee and setting it on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Although, she may still decide to sleep during the movie. No promises there.”

“I wanted everything to be cleaned and finished first, so I was hurrying. But you really think she’ll like them?” He walked back after setting up the spot for Vera and looked at the perfectly cooked cinnamon buns.

“Absolutely, you’ll see her eyes go really wide before they close at the first bite…”

“Okay, you know what. It’s too early to be so mushy.” Hamish gave her a gentle shove before helping her start icing the pastries.

“You love it, admit it.”

“I do. You guys are perfect for each other and I’m _so_ happy for you…That does not mean I want to hear you getting all sappy before I’ve even had breakfast.” She teased before picking a frosted bun up and taking a bite. “There, _now_ you can get all mushy on me.”

He was about to retort when the door to the bathroom opened, and Vera walked out eyeing both of them suspiciously. “What are you two up to?”

“Nothing!” Hamish and Emilie looked at each other before laughing.

“I made cinnamon buns.” Emilie said happily holding up the plate of frosted buns. Hamish was expecting her reaction, but he still felt the soft smile as her eyes widened happily and she slowly walked forward and accepted one.

“Hamish was right.” Vera’s eyes snapped open and she eyed both of them before rolling her eyes and huffily walking towards the couch.

“Well now she’s definitely going to sleep through the movie. Way to go Em.”

“But I…but…it’s not even that early.” Her pout was back as she shuffled over to the couch with the plate of pastries. She saw Vera’s cup was empty and saw a chance to get back in her good graces. Before Hamish could grab it, she swiped the cup and almost skipped to the kitchen to fill it.

She could see Vera struggling to hold her smile back as sat down and presented the cup to her. When Hamish sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, the fight to keep up the charade left her.

“Fine! I will _try_ to stay awake.” She caved and Emilie in her excitement almost gave Vera a happy kiss on the cheek. She stopped herself just before she could, but it was obvious to all of them what she’d been about to do.

“Sorry.” She apologized quietly sitting back stiffly against the couch. Hamish felt the tension in Vera and stroked his thumb over her shoulder in an effort to soothe her.

“No need to apologize Emilie.” Vera tugged lightly on Emilie’s arm until the girl was leaning against her. Vera felt her relax against her just before her ring started to heat up. She quickly looked towards Hamish and saw his eyes closed in concentration before the ring went cold again.

Nothing came through thankfully, but she still knew what he was thinking about. He looked at her with apologetic eyes, but she just shook her head letting him know it was okay. Hamish smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss her gently before pulling up the movie.

Vera startled awake as explosions went off and realized she’d fallen asleep, and not long into the movie. She was laying on her side with her head resting in Hamish’s lap as his fingers trailed through her hair. Looking up she saw his amused smile as he looked down at her.

Emilie was sitting with her legs crossed and a bowl of popcorn in her lap, seemingly completely invested in the movie. She still looked over briefly as Vera sat up and gave the older woman a challenging look.

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. We stopped the movie as soon as you fell asleep. Welcome to Iron Man, which I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you also haven’t seen?” Vera looked at her for a minute without saying _anything_.

Just as Emilie’s look faltered, Vera laid back down on Hamish’s lap and pulled the blanket over her head. Her hand came out a few seconds later and guided his hand under the blanket and back into her hair. She felt him chuckle, but his fingers resumed their soothing pattern and she quickly drifted off again.

Next time she woke it was from Hamish attempting to pull the blanket off of her. She groaned and tried to pull it back to block the light. She heard him give a quiet laugh before putting his head under the blanket. One eye opened to see his smiling face inches from her own.

“Emilie went home. We’ve got about an hour before we should head to the Temple, did you want to shower beforehand?” Vera’s eyes widened in shock before quicky sitting up, the blanket giving her the appearance of a ghost before she pulled it off.

“I wasn’t even tired when I went under the blanket. I can’t wait until this fucking ring is gone.” She growled throwing her ringed hand up in frustration. She placed her hand on the side of his face and kissed him almost as if on autopilot before stomping towards the bathroom.

“Did you want to join me” Vera asked as she leaned against the frame. He groaned and sat back against the couch.

“If we had more time, yes. But we _both_ know that you and me in the shower is not a good combination when we’re running on a tight schedule.” She pouted but didn’t push, knowing he was right. “If you’re up for it tonight however…”

“I’m going to hold you to that!” She shouted through the door before turning on the shower. He really wished he had woken her an hour earlier.

Vera grabbed a cinnamon bun on the way out earning a disapproving look from Hamish. “It’s not my fault someone let me sleep _all_ day…”

“There were sandwiches on the counter…”

“Why have a sandwich when a cinnamon bun is right there?” She threw him a seductive challenging look and he gave up. It was hopeless when pastries were involved apparently.

Once they arrived and got everything ready Vera began her mind protection enchantment and felt the barrier cells rupturing as the corruption lines grew. She felt a sudden rage sweep through her until the enchantment was completed.

Shaking her hands out she met Hamish’s worried face. “I’m okay.” She assured him before slipping her hand into his and addressing the rest of the group. Her nausea grew with Adrian, but like the start of yesterday’s ritual she was able to keep herself from getting sick.

When they neared the two-hour mark, she waited for the pain to come, but as the minutes continued to tick by, nothing happened. They got forty-two minutes past without anything happening and she looked towards Adrian with a questioning brow.

She saw him shrug just before she was hit with a blinding flurry of pain. If it weren’t for Hamish and Emilie’s quick reactions, she is positive the circle would have been broken just now. She didn’t register the agonized scream that tore from her as she collapsed in on herself.

The burning tore through her torso and around her back much faster than previous days. She could see Ishtar’s aura forming around her ring as she fought to be released and pulled on the other’s magic to barricade it before attempting to shove her back into it.

All of her focus was on holding Ishtar in the ring, so she didn’t notice the blood steadily falling from her nose. She couldn’t hear Hamish and Emilie pleading with her to hold on and fight it. All she felt was Ishtar trying to force her way through the door when Hamish’s magic flared higher in fear. She felt the demon’s smirk just before she began pulling herself back into the ring’s depths.

Vera felt the thread Ishtar was pulling along with her and yanked on the full force of the linked magic to sever Ishtar’s connection, but the demon’s grip was too strong. In her desperation she pulled on the power of the Fors Factorum and tried to hold on to his thread while attempting to shove Ishtar down.

* * *

Hamish watched as the current around Vera picked up as Ishtar’s aura seeped further from the ring. He flared his magic, giving her more as he begged her to keep fighting. The metallic scent was overwhelming as her blood began to drip down the length of her shirt onto her skirt. And then, nothing.

He didn’t register her eyes becoming radiant gold or her hair begin to whip violently around her as a cry tore from her and she forced Ishtar’s aura fully back into the ring and collapsed roughly against the ground. Her hand slipping through his as she fell also went unnoticed.

He didn’t hear Adrian yelling for him to remove his ring. It was only Emilie throwing herself at him and pining his hand down against the floor as Camille pulled the ring off that broke him from his trance.

The second the magical connection was gone, he was released. He was somehow being pulled down with Ishtar. He reached for Vera’s hand and felt the ring was still warm as it slowly cooled and knew the demon had somehow used their link to attack him. He looked up towards Adrian with wild eyes as he carefully pulled Vera off of the floor and into his lap.

The bleeding had almost stopped, but she was completely unresponsive in his arms. “I need you to teach me the mental protection she does. Ishtar tried to pull me down with her, like she tried with Vera the first day. Vera sensed it and weakened the hold enough that you two could break it. Emilie, you also need to do it.”

Hamish looked down at Vera and started to panic as she shook in his arms. His vision was slowly darkening but he watched as Emilie reach out and gently pulled Vera from him. When Vera was fully settled in Emilie’s arms, he saw she was lying still. _He_ was the one that was shaking.

Fynn rushed over and sat in front of Hamish and slowly tried to guide him out of his panic attack. He could still smell Vera’s blood. He looked down and saw her blood coating his hands and found himself gagging. He should’ve been prepared. They _knew_ he was linked to Vera somehow through the ring, as was Ishtar. He _knew_ Ishtar had been trying to attack both of them.

And now, Vera was lying unconscious in Emilie’s arms after losing a ton of blood because she was trying to protect him from something that he never should have allowed to happen in the first place. He didn’t realize he was racing out of the Temple until he was in front of one of the bushes getting sick.

Vera’s unconscious bleeding form was all he could see as he numbly stumbled away from where she was lying. He found himself in one of the University bathrooms and collapsed against the stall door staring at his blood-soaked hands. How had he let this happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I did warn that things were going to start to get really rough...still, crushing 😭
> 
> Okay. For Bonded, Part 2 of Claimed there's two ways I can take it and I wanted your opinions. I'm currently planning out chapter 10, but depending on which way I take it will need to start doing a TON of research and I guess I want to make sure it's actually worth it. I could probably wrap everything up in 20-30 chapters max by doing time skips and skipping 'daily life'/in depth solutions to issues (fixing Lilith/Vera's magic/etc) OR I could go into detail like I've done in Claimed and plan multiple arcs.
> 
> I ask because I know I've lost a few major commenter's that got me this far into Claimed by keeping me interested in actually planning/researching and writing so I wasn't sure if it might be because of the slower pace (like the beginning half of this that's not really plot development, just character development), no longer interested in the story or The Order fandom anymore, or the arc is too long so I wanted those readers and commenters that are still interested to let me know what you would prefer and I will navigate it from there since you guys are really the ones who keep writer's interested, especially in 'epic' length fics.


	97. A Verbal Declaration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was a surprise holiday (not really a surprise, I just forgot what day it was until I woke up this morning) so as a massive thank you for everyone's response last chapter, my muse crammed this one out for you. And a special little surprise that hopefully most will like...you know, after the pain...

CHAPTER NINETY-SEVEN

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened during the ritual, Hamish.” Emilie spoke quietly from the stall door.

“This is the _men’s_ room Emilie.” Hamish growled at her as he clutched his hair tighter in his fists. What if she never woke up from this? What if she _died_ protecting him because he hadn’t been prepared?

“I frankly don’t give a shit.” She snapped and he looked to see anger on her face. A face that was streaked with dried tears and blood that he knew to be Vera’s. “You ran off and left her there! It’s been over two _hours_ Hamish! You let her wake up thinking Ishtar succeeded in pulling you down! She thought you were dead Hamish!”

“She’s awake?” He stood shakily and went to rush to her, but Emilie blocked his path and shoved him back with silver eyes. The girl was furious, as was Charlotte.

“No Hamish, she’s not! Because you ran off and she woke up thinking you were dead, she lost it. She thought we were lying to her and hiding your body, so she’d continue the ritual! Holger had to send a ring enhanced sleep spell at her just to keep her from hurting herself with the magic that swept through her.” She shoved him again until he was pinned against the wall.

“We need to be strong _for_ _her_ Hamish! I know you’re scared; I get it. I’m terrified of losing her and I know you and Tundra have a bond with her that I can’t fully comprehend, but your reaction just then? That was unacceptable. She _can’t_ handle that. No matter what happens, we have to stand by her and support her.”

Hamish watched as Emilie’s legs started to give out and he quickly pulled her into his arms as she sobbed. “Why didn’t you come back? She needed you Hamish.”

“I’m sorry Emilie, it won’t happen again. I promise.” Emilie was completely right. He had known Vera had been fighting to keep him alive, and by the time she had passed out he was still partially in Ishtar’s clutches. He had panicked and left her, not thinking about what it would do to her in his need to get away from what he’d caused. He had to do better.

 _“I didn’t understand. I won’t allow it in the future Hamish, I give you my word.”_ He let out a breath of relief and felt Emilie look up from his chest to meet his eyes.

“Tundra won’t let me leave like that again, no matter what’s going through my mind.”

“I’ll hold you to that Tundra. You need to look after your claimed, especially when your champion has his head stuck up his ass.” Hamish allowed a small laugh before pulling back.

“We should go, I don’t want to risk her waking up again and me not being there.” Emilie pulled him to the sink to rinse the blood off his hands, face and hair before starting back towards the Temple.

“She’s in the medical room. Adrian made the table into a bed. I can’t go in with you. She lashed out at us, so until she realizes that we weren’t lying and that you are actually alive, we’re to wait outside.” He felt the guilt build further at her words.

“Was anyone hurt?” He asked as they walked towards her room. Vera wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she hurt one of them.

“No, Adrian threw up a barrier and the others reacted quickly to strengthen it while Holger didn’t hesitate to put her to sleep. They knew the ring had taken over.” He nodded and continued walking in silence until they came to the door. “I’ll make sure the observation room stays empty. Bring her back to us Hamish.”

“I will, I promise.” He felt the magical barrier press on him as he slipped in and realized they had set it up just in case she lost control when she woke up. When he saw her curled up on the bed, he felt a small sob break from him.

“I’m so sorry Vera.” He whispered as he crawled in next to her and pulled her tightly against him. “I won’t leave you again, I promise.”

It was well into the night when he felt Vera beginning to stir. He felt her take a deep breath and sigh before she froze. She shoved against his chest hard as a sob broke from her and he knew she believed this was some kind of a trick.

“Vera, it’s me. I’m alive. You stopped her, I’m okay.” He saw her pained eyes rove over his face and saw that she _wanted_ to believe him but couldn’t bring herself to hope. He grabbed her ring clad hand and pulled it to his lips, tightening his hold as she tried to pull it from his grasp.

“I’m not falling for your tricks, let _go_!” She growled as she tried to pull her hand free again. When she was unsuccessful, he felt her starting to pull on her magic and desperately thought of something that would stop her in her tracks.

“A little blond baby girl that refuses to eat without her mom and dad in site and just can’t help but scream in excitement at the site of her mother and unborn sibling.” Her anguished fury with him shattered immediately, and she threw herself into his arms and wept in relief. Hamish pulled her to him fiercely and apologized over and over again as she cried.

“She had you Hamish. She was going to kill you and I…I couldn’t stop her…”

“You weakened her hold and the others stepped in. Next time we’ll be ready. You’re _not_ in this alone.”

“I thought you were dead.” She whispered brokenly and he burrowed his face into her neck with a shuddering breath.

“I should’ve been there when you woke up. I’m so sorry Vera. I panicked. It won’t happen again, I promise.” He felt her nod against his chest as her hands gripped his shirt tightly. Their breathing calmed, but their hold on each other never lessened.

It was maybe an hour later, long after he thought Vera had fallen asleep that he felt her tense against him. Her head pushed further into his chest, but her muffed words broke the silene of the room.

“Did I hurt anyone?” He pulled back and guided her head up to look into his eyes and smiled softly.

“No one was hurt Vera. Adrian and Holger acted quickly and kept everyone safe. They all know the ring took control. Everyone is safe.” She gave a shuddering sigh in relief before kissing him desperately.

He groaned as she encouraged him to lay back before climbing on top of him. His hands inched their way up the back of her shirt as she slowly rocked against him, letting out a panted breath. He thought to stop her, knowing they were still in The Temple, but he couldn’t. They had almost lost each other a few hours ago.

His hands dragged her shirt over her head and dropped it to the side before freezing. His desperation was gone in an instant and in its place was dread. With wide eyes, he rolled her until she was on her back and without pausing slowly began to remove her skirt.

A pained gasp left him when he saw the lines curled around her hips. Vera pushed herself up at the sound and took in the corruption that had spread across her. Her opposite arm had spidering lines inching their way down her elbow, but her torso was most concerning.

The only place free from the corruption lines were where she had cast the incantation on herself. Adrian had told her he didn’t sense any of Ishtar’s presence there. The odd part was how dark and concentrated the lines were around it.

Ishtar must have sensed that both her mind and this section were impenetrable and had tried to focus on breaking them both down to gain access to her completely. She let out a harsh disbelieving laugh as she realized the mistake that she had made so many years ago might just save her life right now.

“How many barriers were lost?” Hamish asked as his hands hovered over the marks. He was scared to touch them, almost as if he believed Ishtar would sense him and begin attacking again. He watched Vera freeze at the question and met her concerned gaze.

“I’m not…I don’t know. I need you to get Adrian and Holger for me.” His tortured face told her how terrified he was and how much he wanted to stay with her. “I’ll be right here, but I need them to check me over Hamish. I need to know what’s left.”

He took a deep breath before leaning forward and capturing her lips in a breathtaking kiss. His forehead rested against hers for several seconds until he found the willpower to pull away.

“I’ll be right back.” He promised as she pulled the covers over her. The fear was obvious in her eyes and he felt his own concern rising. Without bothering to look for Adrian and Holger in a Temple still mostly unfamiliar to him, Hamish quickly ran towards where he knew Emilie would be.

She met him halfway, most likely hearing him approach. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“She’s awake, but the corruption has spread, and she doesn’t know how many barriers she lost. We need to find Adrian and Holger…”

“You go back and sit with her. I’ll get them and bring them back.” She shoved him back towards Vera before running off to find the two men.

Vera looked up at him with tear filled frightened eyes when the door opened, and he ran over to hold her from behind. Her knees had pulled up slightly in the short time he’d been gone, and he could tell she was thinking the worst-case scenario.

When Adrian and Holger rushed into the room followed by Emilie, he didn’t bother pulling back. Especially as Vera’s hands had tightened over his with the other’s appearance.

“How bad is it?” Adrian asked pulling his chair up to the bed before Vera.

“Bad.” She whispered as she dropped the blanket. Her hand tightened further, and he felt her shuddering breath as the other three all had fear flash across their faces. Hamish tightened his hold on her hand and around her waist as Adrian nodded to Holger to begin a scan.

He felt her tense as the burning started slowly and watched as the lines near her temple and unmarked abdomen darkened in Ishtar’s effort to break through the barriers. The second he finished; Hamish felt relief coarse through him as Holger smiled.

“You still have nineteen in place…” He started and Vera let out the breath she had been holding.

“I only lost three, I’ll be okay.” Hamish heard the relief in her voice and saw Adrian’s face match her tone. He understood the relief, but he sensed there was something more significant in the fact that _this_ time, she’d only lost three.

Vera seemed to pick up on his confusion and turned towards him slightly. “I had to use the full force of my magical reserve to force her back. Even at the full amount, I only lost three barriers. We have two days left with nineteen layers. I’ll be okay.”

All he saw was relief in her eyes, so he didn’t question it further, just pulled her closer to him as he let the last of his fear slip away. For Vera, it was the realization that even though she had used the full force of the ring’s link and the full power of the Fors Factorum, she hadn’t destroyed more barriers. Even if she had to use it again, she _should_ have barriers left afterwards.

Vera looked up to thank the others when she saw Emilie starring at the unmarked skin of her abdomen. She could tell by the anguished look on her face that she knew why it was unmarked. Hamish must have told her about what she had done.

She wasn’t upset with him, if talking with Emilie helped him then she was grateful he opened up to the girl. But it still hurt to see her sadness over the visual proof. She brought her free hand up to block the uncorrupted skin from view as much as possible and looked towards Adrian to signal him to escort the others out.

“Come along Ms. Brandt, you promised your brother you would update him as soon as she woke.” Vera thanked him and waited until the door was shut before sagging against Hamish. She no longer had the energy to even hold herself upright and he seemed to realize that as he gently guided her down beside him.

“Rest, we can talk more tomorrow. I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise.” He soothed when she turned into his chest and took several calming breaths. His fingers continued their gentle motions on her back as he felt her slip further and further into her dreams.

“I love you.” Hamish forced his fingers to continue moving at her slurred words so as to not pull her back into consciousness. He knew she was mostly asleep and wouldn’t remember uttering the words. He also knew she would likely freak out if she realized she had said them.

It would probably still be a while until she was able to both hear and say the words aloud when she was actually conscious but hearing them just now sent him and Tundra soaring to cloud nine. He gently pulled her closer and breathed in her scent to capture everything about this moment.

“I love you too Vera.” He whispered kissing the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She only lost 3 barriers! Though, something to remember (that everyone else in story is forgetting it seems), that was only fifteen minutes of full power...so...hopefully she doesn't need to use it again or if she does, it's not for long...
> 
> AND the gift for all your amazing reviews, Vera's first verbal 'I love you' with out it being ripped from her by magic...true, she won't remember it and isn't ready to say it (or hear Hamish say it) consciously yet, but this is still HUGE!


	98. Tundra's Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews last chapter 😍 they made me so excited to write that I got his one finished and planned out 3 more chapters in Bonded! 🥰

CHAPTER NINETY-EIGHT

Hamish woke several hours later to Vera still curled up against him. Her words from last night echoed in his mind again and a huge smile spread across his face. He burrowed his face back against her neck placing a gentle kiss to the tainted skin before breathing in her scent.

He had no desire to wake her or move from his position. He knew it was late in the day even without seeing the sun. Still, Hamish tucked himself closer against Vera knowing Emilie would get them if they were needed.

He woke again to the smell of meat and blearily opened his eyes. Hamish had expected to see Vera before him, but all he saw was an empty bed and a small tray with a single plate. Concern rushed through him and he snapped up, connecting hard with something.

“Ow Hamish! What the hell?!” Vera growled and he lifted his head to see her clutching her own head where he’d just slammed into it. He also took note of her plate of breakfast, that was now unfortunately strewn across her lap and blanket.

“Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t see you and only saw the one plate…” He gently pushed her hand away from her head and carefully rubbed over where he’d connected. Her irritation melted away at his words and she grabbed his hand to pull it towards her lips.

“I’m okay, I just didn’t want to wake you. It’s not often I’m up first so I knew you must be tired.” She allowed him to pull her forward so he could kiss her gently. He watched as she went to grab a piece of bacon on her plate, only to realize it had spilled and her scowl was back.

“Here, take mine. It’s my fault yours spilled.” He chuckled as he reached towards the chair and brought her the second plate. Once she had it in her hands and was happily munching on the food, he started picking up the spilled breakfast from her lap.

“Emilie should be back soon, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind getting another plate. She keeps making excuses to come back. Last time she _‘forgot’_ to grab both mugs of coffee. Want to place bets on how many more trips it’ll take before she asks if she can stay? Or should I just take pity on her?”

Vera’s sly smile both worried and excited him at the same time. Before he could respond to her however, Emilie quietly opened the door and crept in. Vera saw him start to laugh and quickly covered his mouth as he took note of the single mug of coffee and the single bottle of water.

At the quiet slap, Emilie turned around to see two guilty but _highly_ amused people before her. Hamish lifted his hand to pry Vera’s from his mouth before glaring up at Emilie.

“You see what I did just there? Notice how I _didn’t_ lick her hand…”

“I’m sorry, what?” Vera asked jerking her hand out of his grasp in disgust to make sure he hadn’t actually licked her hand. Emilie’s laughter pulled her attention and she saw the girl’s mischievous smile.

“But now you’ll never try to cover my mouth again, will you? It may be gross, but it works! And I somehow doubt she’d really have a problem if you licked _her_ hand.”

“What are we talking about right now? And I would like to say that yes, _she_ would have a problem if anyone decided to start licking my hand.” Vera said picking up another piece of bacon. Emilie turned towards her with a raised brow.

“Really? You’re telling me that you would have a problem if Hamish decided to lick your hand? You certainly don’t seem to mind him licking other places…or maybe that’s just biting you’re int…”

“Okay, that’s enough out of you for one day!”

“Really Emilie?!”

Both Hamish and Vera interrupted before she could finish. Both of them were flushing deeply and Vera pulled the blanket up further, despite the fact she was wearing her shirt again. She wanted another barrier between the bites near her hips and Emilie’s gaze.

“I’m just saying, the evidence it clear…but at least it goes both ways I guess…”

“I revoke what I said before she came in.” Vera said turning her face into Hamish’s shoulder to hide her flush. Hamish wrapped his arm around her back and nodded, smirking at Emilie who was now looking more unsure about her teasing.

“Um, what’d you say?” She asked hesitantly and Hamish just knew Vera was smirking wickedly again.

“We were going to ask if you wouldn’t mind grabbing another plate of food. You know, so you had an excuse to come back…but now we’re not so sure…”

“I’ll grab one! I’ll also bring the water bottle…that I…forgot…” She gave a cough to cover up her enthusiasm, but she could see Vera watching her with an amused smirk out of the corner of her eyes.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay!” She pouted before turning to start out the door. Both Hamish and Vera immediately stopped teasing her when they saw her distress. Vera had pushed herself to her knees and reached out to grab Emilie’s wrist before she could get too far and pulled her back onto the bed.

“I’m sorry Emilie, I shouldn’t have teased you. I’m okay though, I promise.” Vera soothed while wrapping both arms around the girl. She felt Emilie’s breathing get faster but was relieved when she didn’t start crying.

“There’s nineteen barriers left and there’s only two days remained to get through Emilie. It’s okay.” Vera was unconsciously rocking side to side softly to sooth the girl. She felt Hamish’s hand rubbing gentle circles on her back.

“But the markings…they’ve already traveled _so_ much. And she’s trying to break down the barrier to your mind and the one on your…” She immediately cut off before she could finish, and Vera felt her tense in her arms.

“It’s okay that you know Emilie. Yes, she’s trying to break down both barriers to gain control, but she won’t. Amalie laid something to help strengthen my mental barriers. As long as I continue to cast a protective enchantment before the rituals, I should be okay.

“As for the _other_ enchantment, that isn’t something that can be undone or broken. It’s an eternal enchantment, if there were a way to wear it down, myself or Adrian would know about it by now. That enchantment will actually help protect me because she will never be able to get full control.”

“But Ishtar has been missing for centuries. Maybe _she_ has the power to break through it. The lines around it are so dark…” Vera sighed pulling Emilie closer.

“I wish you hadn’t seen them Emilie. You don’t need to worry over them, okay? And even if she was miraculously somehow able to penetrate the enchantment, it’s not as if it will shatter once she breaks through. It’s one solid incantation, not a field incantation. Hamish and I will monitor it after tonight’s ritual to see if she’s making any progress, okay?”

Vera hadn’t thought about the possibility of Ishtar being able to break through, but it was something to worry about. Ishtar was known as a fertility goddess, perhaps there was a way she could break the enchantment.

She felt a longing course through her at the thought of ridding herself of this accursed enchantment but knew the consequences of Ishtar breaking it would be dire. She knew that if she was able to break through the enchantment on her reproductive system that was completely free from Ishtar’s corruption, then she would surely also break through the short-term mental wards Vera laid.

“Do you want…” Emilie realized what she was about to ask and her eyes shot open wide as she pulled herself out of Vera’s grip. “I’m going to grab you a plate, I’ll be right back.” She refused to meet either of their eyes as she fled the room.

Vera knew what she was going to ask, she had just thought it herself. She sagged against Hamish at the conflicting wishes and felt his arm wrap around her back as one of his hands came to rest directly above her abdomen.

“I know it’s something we may want, but I _don’t_ want it like this. If she breaks through this enchantment, we both know she will break through your mind one as well. That is _not_ an acceptable trade to me, so don’t even think about giving her a chance to try. I can survive without _her_ , not without you.”

Vera’s eyes closed in anguish at his admission. Of course he knew she was giving the idea some thought. He was right though; the risk was way too high. Even if Ishtar broke through the barrier, that baby would never exist because she would immediately use Vera to kill Hamish.

“I know.” She admitted softly and placed her hand above his. “I’m going to fight her Hamish, and I believe we’re going to win and that I’ll be okay. But you need to promise me that if something happens to me, you _will_ survive. Please promise me.” She could feel him stiffen behind her as his breathing accelerated.

“Hamish, please promise me.” She pleaded as her hold tightened. “If not for yourself then for Emilie. She would need you to get through. Promise me that you will survive so you can help her.”

“It’s not going to be an issue because nothing is going to happen to you.” His voice was hard, and she let out a breath at his refusal. Vera forced herself to turn in his arms and pull his head down so she could meet his eyes.

“I believe you Hamish. I really believe that I’m going to be okay, but it’s not a guarantee and you know that. I can’t focus on fighting her if I have to worry about you following after me if I die. You promised me the night before we came here that you wouldn’t sacrifice yourself needlessly…”

“Vera, _enough_!” He growled as his eyes flashed, but her gaze grew hard.

“No, _not_ enough Hamish! If she manages to overpower me or somehow break through all nineteen barriers, then I _need_ to know that you and Emilie will survive. You _need_ to accept that it _is_ a possibility, even if it’s a small one.”

“Vera, _please_!” His face was breaking as his eyes began to water.

“If you don’t promise me, I won’t be able to focus Hamish. And if I can’t focus, I will be vulnerable to her attacks. I _need_ you to promise me that you will survive.”

 _“Promise her Hamish. We’re here to support her. I offer my own promise to ensure your survival if anything happens. I will be sure we honor her last wish if that comes to pass.”_ Hamish felt Tundra’s anguish at the thought of Vera dying, but knew he was speaking true.

It was likely what Midnight had promised Marsh to keep him from following after Azure and Sarene. He closed his eyes as the fight left him and dropped his forehead to hers.

“I promise.” Vera let out a breath of relief as she pulled him fully into her arms.

“And I promise not to give up, I will fight like hell to make it through.”

“You better, otherwise Kepler will take over Belgrave.” He felt her chuckle against him as she tightened her hold.

“We certainly can’t have that, now can we?” She played along with his halfhearted teasing as they continued to hold each other. She felt him bring his lips to her ear before he started whispering.

“She’s coming back, I’m assuming you don’t want to worry her by seeing us like this?” She nodded and repositioned herself, so she was lounging against him. This way they could still take comfort but wouldn’t worry Emilie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute Vera/Hamish/Emilie bonding! 😍 My muse was feeling a bit generous with this one 🤔hopefully she's wasn't supplying a soothing balm for anything painful she's about to drop 😬 definitely not anything where Hamish's promise will be tested so soon 😬🥺😭 I will admit, I'm a little scared for what she's going to do to our precious couple next chapter.


	99. Hamish vs Tundra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little rough 😬😬 and I apologize in advance 😬😭. But lots of important subtle bits in it.

CHAPTER NINETY-NINE

The three of them continued to visit over the next few hours but you could see the tension in each of them building as it got closer and closer to the start of the ritual. Emilie was in the process of telling them an embarrassing story about a drunk Fynn _begging_ for fried chicken at the top of his lungs when Adrian walked in.

Hamish’s hold around Vera tightened and Emilie clutched her hand as the older man told them it was time. He quickly taught both Emilie and Hamish the mental wards and informed Vera that as a precaution all of the other members would be barricading their minds as well.

She let out a relieved sigh before standing and adjusting her clothes. They watched her mask fall into place as she took Hamish’s outstretched hand and made their way to the ritual room. Vera paused when the others looked towards her, but none seemed to be upset with her.

“I want to apologize for…”

“You clearly weren’t in control Vera, there’s really no need to apologize. Controlling our rings for the three hours each day is challenging enough, I can’t imagine wearing it for eight days straight.” Camille spoke up with a reassuring smile and Vera watched as Ivan and Yara nodded in agreement.

“Still…”

“We only have two days left, less talking, more kicking this demon’s ass.” Ivan interrupted with a cocky smirk causing Vera to let out a small chuckle before conceding.

“Everyone have their wards up?” She asked and watched them all nod as they waited for Adrian to place the sacrifice and began weaving her own mental barrier. “Be ready.” She said before signaling they form the link.

Adrian was quicker this time and thankfully she didn’t feel the nausea, although perhaps it was because of the dwindling barriers? Whatever the reason she was happy with the result. She felt the door burst open at the two-hour mark and stumbled back a step at the force, but she’d already barricaded the ring before Ishtar could break through it.

She could feel the searing pain now accompanied by a stabbing sensation at her mental ward along with the slicing pain radiating around her mid-section. She could feel Ishtar’s irritation flood through her when she couldn’t break through the wards immediately and began searching.

Vera warned Hamish of the demon’s shifting focus with a squeeze of her hand and look. His face grew determined as his eyes closed and he tightened his grip on her hand. She felt Ishtar’s focus on Hamish growing as the burning sensation eased.

 _‘You can’t have him!’_ She growled as she started hearing Ishtar’s snarls of frustration at being unable to penetrate the mental ward he had laid. The demon immediately stopped her attempt to latch onto Hamish’s consciousness and focused back on Vera.

 _“Him? Hmm, not_ yet _perhaps, but soon. You are all abominations, and I will destroy all of you.”_ Vera heard the furious confident tone and snapped her gaze to Hamish in concern before she dropped to her knees with a scream as Ishtar redoubled her attempts to break her wards.

It felt as if someone was taking a dull knife and slowly trying to carve into her abdomen in the most painful ways possible. If it weren’t for Emilie and Hamish’s determined grip on her hands, she would’ve broken the circle as she unconsciously pulled her hands towards her stomach in an attempt to staunch the agony.

 _“What is this enchantment?!”_ Ishtar screamed in rage after a full twenty minutes of trying to break the enchantment before shifting her entire focus to Vera’s mind. Her head dropped to her hands as the pain became blinding.

The wards were beginning to fracture, she could feel the cracks slowly beginning to fissure. Vera tried to weave a new barrier through the pain, but Ishtar began laughing almost manically and pushed harder, breaking her focus. She let out a ragged breath and pulled on the full force of her magic and tried again.

Ishtar’s laughter dropped immediately as she felt the attempt, but Vera felt the demon pulling on her own reserves to continue fracturing the barrier. Vera curled further in on herself as she felt the barrier being pushed away before it could reform and let out an almost silent _‘help’_.

Hamish heard her plea and looked around in a panic. Adrian hadn’t heard her cry for help, but his face showed that he still knew what was about to happen. They had all felt their magic drain away from them and Vera’s eyes were gold as her hair whipped around. They knew she had tapped her full reserves but was still struggling.

Looking around, he met Emilie’s eyes and saw Charlotte had peaked through. “Please sister, if you’re here, I _know_ you can help her somehow. Please don’t let her fail.” Her voice was different, deeper and more graveled, and he watched Emilie slump forward unconscious right after but her grip on Vera’s hand remained.

Hamish didn’t have time to focus on what was happening to Emilie at the moment because he felt a sudden pressure on his wards. He focused on pushing her out but heard the broken growl of frustration.

 _“Stop fighting me, you fool! I can’t penetrate her mind or Ishtar will have access as well. You are linked already so I can slip through. Let me in.”_ Tundra recognized the voice and immediately backed down, telling Hamish to do the same. He felt the presence fill his mind and a magic like nothing he’d ever experienced before rushed through him.

Vera’s ring became scalding against his hand as he felt Amalie’s magical presence flood into Vera through their link just before Vera passed out. He could hear Ishtar’s scream of frustration as Vera’s mental barrier became impenetrable.

 _“You’ve left yourself unprotected Emerson!”_ He heard the demon snarl, realizing Ishtar had no idea that it was Amalie that had saved Vera. He kept that bit of information guarded as Ishtar’s focus shifted back to him.

 _“No! How?! The abomination is helping you somehow as well?”_ She growled as she met the same impenetrable barrier surrounding Hamish’s mind. He made the connection that she believed _Gilgamesh_ had laid some protection around him as well as Vera.

 _‘Us wolves stick together. You should know, you created us.’_ He taunted back, hoping to keep her attention on him. And he wasn’t lying, it was because of his connection to Emilie that allowed Charlotte to ally herself with them. And somehow Charlotte had taken control and spoken through Emilie to get her sister’s aide.

 _“Ah, but he has tampered with a human, he broke the rules.”_ She snarled before leaving his mind and returning to Vera. He felt Amalie leave his mind again and looked up to see the other’s wide eyes watching him. Vera’s gold and green swirling aura became a more vibrant blinding aura as Amalie battled with Ishtar.

“How much longer?” Hamish shouted as he saw the flickering colors beginning to subside, Amalie was weakening. He could feel her bleeding back into his mind as she tried to focus on keeping his and Vera’s link active as well as thread through Vera’s mental wards through their link.

He couldn’t even fathom how she had been able to hold on so long just doing that, but to actively guard them both from the demon? She was truly a force to be reckoned with.

“Seven minutes!” Holger shouted back and Hamish relayed the information to Amalie. He felt her weak nod as she tried to continue to hold her barricade against Ishtar. He felt Amalie’s concern jump within him as she focused on Vera just before the metallic smell filled his nose.

He looked down hesitantly and saw the blood starting to drip from her ears and nose. _“If I leave, Ishtar will succeed in taking control. But her body may not be able to handle my presence any longer. What do you wish for me to do?”_

Hamish went to answer, to tell her to back off some, to give Vera a fighting chance, but Tundra forced silenced him and answered.

_“Protect her mind. If Ishtar gains control, the first thing she will do is use Vera to kill my champion. I promised her I would protect him, even if that means her life.”_

_“No!”_ Hamish shouted as he tried to force Tundra from his mind. “You promised me you would protect her!” He pleaded as Vera began to convulse beside him. He didn’t realize he was no longer speaking in his mind but yelling so the others to hear his desperation.

He tried to rip his hand from Camille’s to hold Vera as she seized, but the woman’s grip became a vice around him. He tried to use Tundra’s strength to pull free, but the wolf refused to lend it as he pleaded.

 _“I’m sorry Hamish. I’m so sorry.”_ Tundra apologized as he wept with his champion. He felt the pressure of Amalie leave his mind abruptly before Camille ripped his ring off and let go of his hand. He carefully pulled Vera from the floor as her spasms slowly died down.

She was deathly pale, and the lower half of her face was covered in blood that had spilled both from her nose and ears. His hand shook violently as he brought two fingers to the pulse point under her neck and waited. It was weak, but steady and his breath of relief tore a sob from him as he buried his face against her neck.

“Hamish?” He nodded his head in acknowledgement but didn’t move it from Vera’s neck. “We need to check her over, can you carry her?”

_“She’s not dead Hamish…”_

_‘I will_ never _forgive you for this.’_ He growled back at Tundra and let hatred settle on his face as he carefully lifted Vera.

_“We promised her Hamish…”_

_‘No! We promised to continue to survive if anything should happen to her. We did_ not _promise to risk her life just so we could survive….’_

 _“And what would she have done if Ishtar had taken control and she was forced to watch as her hand, her magic, was used to kill you?! Without her will? Do you think she would survive that? Would_ you _if the roles were reversed?”_

Tundra put an image of Hamish, locked within Tundra as Tundra tore into one of the practitioners he’d killed in the past, only when Hamish looked closer Tundra had shifted the image. It wasn’t some unknown practitioner this time, it was Vera lying dead beneath him.

Hamish caved beneath the image and knew Tundra was right. But seeing Vera torn apart, by _his_ hands had him slipping to his knees. Tundra took over to avoid dropping Vera and huffed gently towards Adrian and Holger who had taken a step back in shock at the sudden appearance.

He gently nosed at Vera’s face, neck and ears letting out a pained whimper as her head moved limply with his nuzzling. He was careful with his claws as he set her down gently on the bed while Adrian hesitantly began to strip her shirt.

Tundra could feel Hamish was still unable to come out and positioned himself behind Vera. When her shirt was removed, he focused his attention on her abdomen and began sniffing at the unmarred flesh. His whimper was audible as he took in the inflamed barrier around the pale skin.

Ishtar’s focus was clear as a full two inches around the entire section was completely black and raised. He could smell the blood that had collected beneath the surface causing bruises that weren’t visible because of the lines.

Tundra watched as Holger began scanning her and whimpered as Vera shifted in pain. He nuzzled closer to her and rubbed his head carefully against her torso. The relieved sigh pulled his attention to the man, but his head remained curled around Vera.

“She’s going to be okay. She lost four barriers tonight, but there’s still fifteen left.” Holger announced and Tundra felt his own relief mixing with Hamish’s.

“We’re going to get ice for her head and abdomen. Will you watch her?” Tundra huffed in irritation at the ridiculous question as he curled further around Vera, head rested lightly against the unmarked skin of her stomach and shut his eyes. “I thought so.” Adrian smiled and left with Holger to collect the items.

By the time they returned, Hamish was in control again. He was under the covers with Vera, but still wrapped defensively around her. His gaze moved towards Adrian as he walked in and he held his hand out for the items that would hopefully ease her suffering.

“Do you know what happened to Ms. Brandt by chance? She’s still unconscious but we can’t find anything wrong with her.”

_"Charlotte fully possessed her body. I thought only Amalie and Gilgamesh were strong enough to do so but I must have been wrong. Emilie must have begged her to do so. She should be fine in a few hours; the process just takes a lot out of someone, especially the first time."_

“Charlotte possessed her to convince Amalie to help. Emilie would’ve asked it of her. She should be awake in a couple hours without any harm done to herself.” Hamish explained as he focused on adjusting the icepack on Vera’s head.

“And did she help? Is that why your eyes were gold soon after she asked for help?” Hamish looked up startled at that and felt Tundra’s surprise as well. But it did make sense, whenever Amalie had occupied Vera’s mind, her eyes had shifted gold.

“She did. Amalie couldn’t risk breaking through Vera’s wards without letting Ishtar in, so she used my link with Vera to fight Ishtar. It was too much magic for Vera’s body to handle. She asked if I wanted her to back off, but told me Ishtar would gain control if she did…”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes at the image of her shaking beside him while she bled from her ears and nose. He felt Adrian’s hand land on his forearm and looked up to see understanding eyes.

“You saved her life tonight Hamish. You made a tough choice, but it was the only choice that gave her a fighting chance…”

“ _Tundra_ made that choice…” Hamish interrupted weakly as he looked back at Vera. He had almost allowed Vera to be taken over.

“Perhaps, but I don’t think he would have made that choice and fought so hard against you if it weren’t for your desire to keep her alive. She’s strong Hamish, she’s going to make it.” Hamish felt his eyes water at the unwavering tone but nodded.

“She has to.” He whispered but could tell the man heard it.

“She said the same about you after the first day. Keep fighting and trust her to do the same.” He heard Adrian leave without waiting for a response.

 _‘Thank you, Tundra. You saved her.’_ He felt Tundra’s acceptance of his apology and pulled the blanket away from her torso so he could gently lay out the icepacks on her inflamed skin.

She was unconscious and in pain, but she was alive. She had fifteen barriers left and only one more day to get through. They would make it through together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry 😭 but...at least she's alive...she's just in really rough shape right now. 😭😭
> 
> And another appearance from Amalie!
> 
> Off topic, anyone looking for a laugh (and who isn't after this chapter? 😂😭😭) should watch this. It's 2020 as told by Lord of the Rings... It's hilarious, even if you haven't watch the movies (but obviously spoilers so...)
> 
> https://youtu.be/xY9qwwBfm9M


	100. This Isn’t What It Looks Like, I Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! We've reached 100 chapters!!! 🍾🥳
> 
> This one has a bit of everything as a thank you for all of you amazing reviewers.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED

Hamish stayed awake for hours watching over Vera. Every time the icepacks would warm, he would use the freezing incantation Adrian had taught him. The inflammation on her abdomen hadn’t lessened at all, it seemed like it _might_ be getting worse, but he wasn’t sure. All he knew for sure was that she would be in pain when she woke.

Emilie had stopped in about an ago. She looked thoroughly exhausted but wanted to check in on Vera before she went home to sleep. She had told him she retreated into the corner of her mind and forced Charlotte’s voice through her own.

When he saw her teetering slightly with teary eyes, clearly not wanting to leave Vera’s side, he carefully shifted back against the wall and pulled Vera with him. There wasn’t a _ton_ of space, but relieved tears fell from Emilie as she crawled in beside Vera.

With minutes the girl was fast asleep, her face pressed up against Vera’s arm. Emilie and Charlotte had saved Vera’s life by getting Amalie to help. He was never more thankful than this moment that they discovered she was a wolf before leaving for the woods because they had the time to bond.

It was hours after Emilie had fallen asleep, that Hamish had drifted off, under the promise from Tundra that he would stay alert and watch over Vera. Adrian had come in silently with three bottles of water and seeing Hamish asleep, cast a freezing incantation on the packs before leaving just as quietly.

Tundra felt the twitch against his champion before a quiet whimper escaped and he prodded Hamish awake. He quickly soothed Hamish’s worry that something was seriously wrong but guided his attention to the woman in pain beside him.

“Vera?” Hamish asked quietly and was surprised Emilie hadn’t moved at all. Allowing Charlotte to possess her must have taken more out of her than he thought. Vera tried to turn in on him for comfort, but the pain caused her to let out another whimper.

“It hurts.” She cried softly turning her head into his shoulder to hide her tears. He lifted the blanket and saw her hand shaking as it hovered over her abdomen. He gently pulled the warm icepacks from her inflamed skin, gritting his teeth at the pained cry the movement brought.

“I’m sorry. I just need to check it okay?” She nodded and clutched the blanket beside her head as he allowed Tundra to come out partly to smell at the inflamed skin. He quickly pulled pack at the scent and knew the damage Ishtar had done was festering beneath the marks.

“Vera, we have to try to heal this. I think she did something to cause the section to fester and attack you when she couldn’t. Do you want me to try or maybe enough of Adrian’s magic has been removed that it may be safe to try again?”

Vera’s eyes clenched as she tried to focus through the agony. She hadn’t felt the nausea this time so it was possible it would be safe for Adrian to heal her. Either way, it was better to have him try then to allow Ishtar to attack her further.

“Get Adrian.” Hamish nodded and froze the packs before gently laying them again in an effort to numb her pain. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before pulling away and brushing her hair from her pained face.

“I’ll be right back. Emilie’s asleep beside you if you need anything while I’m gone.” She gave a nod of acknowledgement and he carefully climbed from the bed, grabbed a robe and raced out to find the older man.

Once he was in the hallway, he allowed Tundra to come out and immediately located the man’s scent and took off after it. He wasn’t thinking in his desperation to help Vera and barged through the door where Adrian’s smell was strongest.

The concussive force that slammed against him _should_ have been expected as they were all on edge, but he found himself blasted against the wall. The man was sitting at his desk with his hand outstretched, but the second he saw Tundra, he was hurrying out of his chair and towards the wolf.

“What happened?” He helped Tundra up, but the wolf just grabbed his wrist and began running back towards Vera. Hamish took control and swung on his robe as soon as he felt the pull from Adrian being unable to keep up with Tundra’s pace.

“Sorry, we’re worried. We need you to try to heal Vera. The inflamed sections have begun to fester from some lingering effect Ishtar put in place. Vera wanted you to try first.”

“She thinks with the added barriers gone, her body won’t reject it. She may be right. How bad is it?”

“Bad, if it weren’t for Tundra though I wouldn’t have been able to tell. It’s beneath the surface.” They rounded the last corner and entered the room to see Vera’s head clutched in Emilie’s lap as the girl tried to ease her pain.

“Please help her.” Emilie cried as another pained cry came from Vera. Vera’s hands were trembling above her stomach again, but not touching. Hamish approached quickly and grasped both of her hands, allowing her to squeeze through the pain while looking at the blackened skin. The dark purple, almost black bruises were beginning to creep out from under Ishtar’s corruption lines.

“Vera, I need you to take a deep breath. The _second_ something feels off let me know, okay?” They watched her pained nod before Adrian focused on healing the deep bruises. The lines didn’t spread, but they hadn’t expected them to. They also weren’t really focused on that, but rather if her body was rejecting his magic.

Hamish’s gaze was flicking between Vera’s face and her abdomen. He saw the raised skin beginning to subside as the obvious pain coursing through her dimmed. Adrian was _almost_ done when Vera’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“No more.” She got out through steadying breaths trying to quell the nausea. Adrian looked at the remaining section with unease, everyone knew it would spread again, and fast, if left unhealed. “Hamish can finish.” She said before looking to Hamish and nodding.

The lines began to shift slowly, but the healing incantation from him was powerful enough to be faster. The second he stopped she let out a relieved sigh. He allowed Tundra to check her midsection to be absolutely sure all the rot had been removed, before trailing his fingers across the smooth, even skin.

“Thank you.” Vera breathed deeply as she laced her fingers through his. “She couldn’t break through the barrier yesterday, so she tried to either break it down with necrotic tissue or kill me in the process. Both would’ve been enough for her.”

“Are you okay now?” Emilie asked with tears still falling and Vera looked up with a small smile before nodding. Her hand that wasn’t holding Hamish’s reached up and held one of Emilie’s.

“I am, I promise. Whatever she left in me is gone now. You can go back to sleep.” She lifted her head off the girl’s lap and gave her hand a tug, making it clear she wanted her to lay down beside her. Emilie nodded and while keeping a tight grip on Vera’s hand she shifted until she was lying beside her again.

Vera flushed slightly when she met Adrian’s eyes and saw him watching the interaction with soft eyes. She just slipped her hand out of Hamish’s grip to pull the blanket back over herself. Hamish grabbed his pants and climbed under the blanket and pulling them on before he removed the robe.

“There’s only a few hours left, so I’ll let you three rest. Do you want me to bring you all something to eat now or…?” He broke off suddenly as Vera’s stomach grumbled loudly at the mention of food. Hamish chuckled and brought his hand over her stomach and looked at Adrian.

“Now is probably best. I’ve learned not to let her go hungry; she gets mean when she’s hung… _ow_!” He looked down shocked at Vera’s flushed, but annoyed face. “Did you really just smack me?” He asked while rubbing the back of his head

“You shouldn’t have teased her; you know how she gets when she’s hungry…hey! What the hell?! I was telling him _not_ to tease you!” Emilie exclaimed as Vera backhanded her lightly in the chest with the hand Emilie was still holding.

“Food would be lovely Adrian, thank you.” Vera said with annoyance as Adrian tried _very_ hard to contain his amusement at the two pouting wolves. He nodded and excused himself, just barely quieting his laughter as Hamish complained again.

“I can’t believe you just hit me.” Hamish said shifting his hand further around Vera’s waist and pulling her into him firmly. She smirked and turned to look at him with a brow raised.

“You knew the consequences of teasing me when I’m hungry.” She grinned and Hamish felt the last of the terror that had gripped him dissolve at the amused glint in her eye. He smiled softly and leaned forward capturing her lips gently in a slow kiss.

“Could you guys not when I’m _right_ here?” Emilie’s voice held disgust and amusement both and Hamish pulled back just slightly and opened one eye. He smirked when his gaze connected with Emilie’s before pulling the blanket over his and Vera’s head.

Vera was smiling in amusement when Hamish gave her a quick peck before she realized what he was about to do. She tried to push him off of her, but his lips landed on the ticklish spot on her neck and the peel of laughter couldn’t be contained as she tried to escape.

Vera felt Emilie’s hand leaves hers and the pressure leave the bed beside her but couldn’t stop laughing as Hamish tortured her with his tongue. With her hand freed, she brought both to his hair and dragged his mouth away from her neck to give him a deep kiss before pulling the blanket back from her head.

“Nice to see you’re awake…and doing well it seems. But really Vera, must you torture my disciple?” Vera’s face turned beat red as her eyes met Holger’s amused gaze. Her hair was without a doubt heavily mused from her attempts to escape Hamish’s torture and his flushing face did _nothing_ to help the situation.

Emilie however didn’t look tortured in the slightest. Instead, she was hunched over as she laughed hysterically at the situation. Vera watched Hamish’s hand lift slowly and begin to attempt to smooth her hair down, but it only seemed to amuse Holger further and she grabbed his hand and pulled it under the covers.

“This isn’t what it looks like, I swear.” She whispered in defense and Emilie’s laughter grew as she slid against the wall. “This is _your_ fault.” Vera grumbled as she glared up at Hamish before covering her head with the blanket again.

“Now _this_ is more similar to how it feels when a parent walks in on you, still not as bad though…” Hamish started awkwardly trying to fill the awkward silence before he felt Vera shove him away from her roughly with an unamused groan.

“I hate you _so_ much right now.” She growled which only seemed to amuse the others further, even Hamish was laughing now. She was happy the blanket was covering her wide smile. Of course, Hamish pulled it away with a grin before planting a quick kiss on her lips.

“No, you don’t.” He whispered quietly as he pulled back and a soft, barely-there smile spread itself across her face. She threaded her fingers with his under the blanket and gave it a gentle squeeze before looking towards Holger.

“Was there something you wanted Holger?” She asked relishing in the feeling of Hamish’s thumb stroking across her hand in support. He did promise to bear their teasing with her.

“I passed Adrian in the hall, he said you were awake. I just wanted to check in. Did the others tell you about the results from the scan yesterday?” She grew tense at the question and felt Hamish’s hand tighten slightly before wrapping around her waist.

“Not yet, I haven’t been awake long, and we were dealing with a latent attack from Ishtar. How bad was it?” She remembered Ishtar had almost succeeded in breaking her mental wards before her finger felt like it was being burned off, but then nothing.

“You lost four barriers, but the others are all still in place.” Hamish said and looked to the others. Vera saw the pain in his eyes as he asked them for a few minutes alone and tightened her grip on his hand. Once they left, she turned to face him.

“We almost lost you yesterday. If Emilie didn’t force Charlotte to speak through her to beg for Amalie’s help, we would have. She entered my mind to use our link through the ring to barricade both our minds and fight Ishtar.”

Vera looked at him inquisitively. His explanation didn’t explain why she saw self-hatred in his eyes. She brought a hand up to the side of his face and stroked her thumb over his cheek.

“What is it?” When he met her gaze, she flinched at the emotions she saw.

“I…Vera, Amalie’s magic was attacking you. You were seizing and had blood coming from your nose and ears. She asked me what I wanted her to do, risk your life with her magic by continuing to protect your mind or pull back and allow Ishtar to gain control…” He broke off at her worried expression and brought his forehead to hers.

“But you didn’t clearly because Ishtar isn’t…”

“ _Tundra_ didn’t.” He admitted in shame and he felt Vera tense in his arms.

“No Hamish, tell me you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t going to have her pull back completely Vera, but I almost asked her to pull back some. Just enough to allow you a fighting chance. Tundra stopped me and told Amalie of our promise but…I almost caused mine, Emilie’s and your death...”

Vera took a deep breath to sort out her conflicting thoughts. She tried to put herself in Hamish’s position and if she was given the same choice, she isn’t sure she’d be able to make the right choice in that situation. She pulled her hand from the side of his face and heard his breath catch, thinking she was pulling away from him.

“Tundra was able to separate himself from the situation enough to do what he knew you would truly want. You didn’t fail me Hamish and I’m not upset with you.” She whispered after wrapping her arm around him and pulling herself flush against him.

Both his arms wrapped tightly around her as he buried his face in her shoulder and tried to calm the emotions rushing through him. Vera knew this whole ordeal was taking a massive toll on him and he was doing well, but there was only so much someone could take before they broke, and she knew he was reaching that point.

“One more day Hamish and then we’re done. We just have to hold on for _one_ more day.” He nodded against her chest before pulling back and looking at her determined face. “We’re going to beat her.” She promised before kissing him.

Their kisses started to grow deeper and they began to forget the others were waiting outside for them. That is, until a loud knock echoed causing Vera pulled back with a flush.

Hamish smiled and smoothed her hair down as he sat up and leaned against the wall. He pulled Vera up and positioned her back against his chest as he grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. Once they were both settled, they announced to the others that they could come in.

His arms tightened around Vera’s waist and placed a kiss to her shoulder as she tensed in his arms slightly at the amused looks coming from the other three. The food on the plates they were carrying however pulled her focus and he felt her stomach rumble despite it not making a noise.

She eagerly accepted the plate filled with Chinese food and began eating immediately. Him and Emilie weren’t far behind her, it had been almost twenty-four hours since they had eaten, and the smells caused both their stomachs to grumble loudly.

Vera’s fork froze on the way to her mouth as she raised an amused brow and looked towards Hamish who grinned cheekily and started eating. Adrian and Holger chuckled as they watched the three on the bed.

They didn’t know anything about Hamish’s past, but they knew about Vera and Emilie’s. The girl always presented a happy façade, but they knew she struggled daily. And Vera, well to be honest, neither of them had ever seen Vera genuinely _laugh_ before, much less actually look happy.

And now, here they were, together. Vera was openly laughing and teasing while accepting comfort and help. Emilie had actually let in not one, but two, other people besides her brother. And they knew Hamish had made it happen. He had broken down Vera’s walls enough to let himself, Emilie and Fynn inside.

They were worried with the last ritual. Adrian knew Ishtar still needed to be called into and banished from their realm and he had spoken at length with Holger about precautionary measures. They didn’t think Vera had come to that conclusion yet, and neither wanted to lay the burden on her when there wasn’t anything she’d be able to actually do to prepare.

She would do what needed to be done when the time came, but they wanted her to enjoy the time she had before the coming fight without caving beneath the worry. And they knew Hamish and Emilie would be able to pick up on her concern if she knew. No, they would prepare with the others and let these three enjoy the few blissful hours left before the final ritual.

Adrian hadn’t told Holger of Vera’s use of the Fors Factorum, but she had fifteen barriers in place still. Even after multiple days of her accessing the full reserves, and Amalie’s magic coursing through her she had enough to make it through today’s banishment and have enough remaining for several years.

He and Holger excused themselves, promising to come back before they were needed. The others nodded and thanked them again for the food and healing and Adrian took one last look at the three before closing the door.

He just prayed he wasn’t wrong in his belief she would have enough barriers remaining. She _needed_ to have barriers remaining, for all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Ishtar is VERY smart and VERY desperate...which isn't good. 😬 And those last 5-6 paragraphs...Vera is going to have to battle Ishtar again, outside of the ring 😬😭 I did warn things were going to get rough...but next chapter is going to be almost completely fluffy...which should hint at the trouble that's coming...😬😬


	101. Everything Worth Fighting For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, busy few days. Huge thank you to those that reviewed last chapter, this one is a nice fluffy balm before shit hits the fan.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND ONE

Vera could feel Hamish’s worry building as the minutes ticked by. He continued to talk with her and Emilie, but Vera could hear the strain growing in his laughter as it got closer and closer to the time that they would need to leave their little world and face reality.

She was almost positive Emilie had started to pick up on his nerves recently as her tone got more excited. It was an effort to try to get through her own worry as well as try to soothe Hamish’s. Vera placed a hand on Emilie’s arm and offered a small smile.

“Do you mind giving us a few minutes? And could you check if the other room is clear and give a knock on our door if so? I’d like to talk with him without anyone else listening in or watching.” Emilie looked relieved she had asked and jumped off the bed to check the other room.

Hamish had been trying to stay calm, but he felt dread building in him. He knew tonight’s ritual was going to be different than the others somehow. Ishtar’s fury with them was growing each day and she knew it was her last chance to escape.

He heard the knock from Emilie and felt Vera turn in his arms, so she was facing him. She brought both hands to the sides of his face and brought his eyes to hers.

“Silence incantation.” She whispered lowly and waited for him to place the spell before pulling his lips to her own. “We’re going to beat her Hamish. You have to believe that. Remember what we’re fighting for.” She implored before kissing him again and guiding him to his back.

Hamish felt his arousal build, but also felt his dread grow. Was she saying goodbye? At that thought he rolled her under him and pulled back to study her eyes. He watched as hers went from content to confused as she brought her hand up to lay flat against his racing heart.

“What’s wrong?” She saw the fear in his gaze as he searched her for some answer to a question she didn’t know. He opened his mouth a couple times before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I don’t know, but it feels like you’re trying to say goodbye.” He opened his eyes again to see hers wide with realization before she shook her head, disputing the words.

“No, no Hamish, this _isn’t_ a goodbye. This is a reminder of why we’re both fighting so hard. Of why we’re going to win tonight. Our lo…” She cut herself off abruptly as her mind caught up with her words and she closed her eyes breathing deeply.

“What we have is worth fighting for Hamish. I’m not giving up and I’m _not_ saying goodbye.” She wished she could say those three little words, but she didn’t want to say them _now._ Not when the situation was influencing them. When she said them to him, she wanted him to know without a shadow of a doubt that they were true. Not because she was worried that she may never get another chance to tell him.

He studied her for several more seconds, but all he saw was determination in her eyes. He felt her hand shift from his chest around his back before she pulled him down to her. Their lips met and he felt the love she was pouring into the kiss before meeting it with his own.

His fingers trailed down her sides catching the hem of her shirt and pulled it off slowly. It physically hurt to see her normally perfect unblemished skin so marked, but he knew it was a sign of her strength as well. Ishtar was trying every day to gain a foothold and Vera had fought her every day.

He removed her bra and took his time slowly mapping every individual line before focusing on the darkest section that had almost cost her, her life earlier today. Vera’s breaths were coming rapidly and bouncing off the walls as she arched into his caresses.

Her fingers were buried in his hair, but she had no desire to control his movements. She knew he was trying to chase away the corruption within her with each kiss he placed. She felt him give a lingering kiss to her abdomen and forced herself to look down at him.

He was watching her as his lips stayed pressed to the unblemished skin that invoked despair for the future that was taken from them, but joy that it gave them hope for any future at the same time. She felt a tear leak from her eye as he softly littered kisses across the pale skin without removing his gaze from hers.

Hamish gently hooked his fingers into Vera’s bottoms and pulled them slowly down her legs, revealing the spidering marks that were still hidden. Her hips began to roll slightly as he continued his slow journey along the new lines before kissing his way up the inside of her thigh.

He waited for her to look down at him and meet his eyes again before kissing her center gently. Her ragged moan tore through the room as her hips lifted and her head dug into the mattress. She needed more but wanted this moment to last.

She could feel herself beginning to peak under his mouth but fought letting go to prolong the moment. Vera felt his hand come up to hers and carefully pulled it from his hair, threading their fingers together before squeezing. She heard his silent plea to let go and fell over the edge with his name echoing around the room.

He didn’t change his tongue’s pace or pressure as she came down from her high, just continued to slowly build her up again. Hamish felt her hand still in his hair drift to the side and scrape gently along the back of his ear and loosed a moan of his own that pulled another throaty gasp from her.

When she repeated the action absently, he quickened his pace and felt her tensing beneath him. He looked to her face as best he could as he sent her other the edge again. God she was gorgeous, even covered by Ishtar’s corruption lines her beauty shown through.

Hamish slowed his pace before slowly starting back up her body, taking detours at each hip to lavish at his marks that were still there. Vera’s hips lurched again as her throaty groan bounced off the walls and her hand tightened in his grasp.

When he met her lips again, their slow kisses turned deeper and more desperate. Neither of them noticed Vera’s ring heating up as he slid into her, too caught up in the moment of absolute bliss. They didn’t realize it in their need for one another, but at this moment they were connected in all ways. Mind, body and soul linked to each other through the ring.

The ring flared to painful levels as they climaxed, but they felt nothing but pleasure. They both heard the silent _‘I love you’_ echoed in their minds, drowning out the audible release of their names as they fell together, and the ring started to cool. When their senses returned from the abyss, the ring lay cool between their fingers.

Hamish collapsed to the bed beside Vera and pulled her into him, planting open mouthed kisses along her neck and shoulder as they recovered. He could feel her almost vibrating next to him from what they had just shared and knew it was the same for him.

“That was…” Vera trailed off as she tried to find the right word. He pulled back with a wide smile and captured her lips in a deep kiss before resting his forehead against his.

“ _Everything_ worth fighting for.” She nodded at his words and traced lazy designs across his chest. She vaguely heard him cast the incantation to remove all evidence and smiled into his side remembering her embarrassment when Emilie caught them in the woods.

Remembering the young woman however caused a frown to cross her features and her arms to tighten around him. His fingers trailed along her spine and sides as he pulled back to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” She looked up at him with her chin still on his chest a sighed sadly.

“I don’t want to leave this room. I just want to stay here with you.” He watched as she lifted her head enough to place a lasting kiss to his shoulder before snuggling back into his side.

“We’re going to beat her Vera…”

“I know. But we still have Praxis to deal with. And changing Council’s opinion. I just…I just want a break from it all sometimes.” She admittedly softly while she began tracing nonsense onto his stomach.

Hamish wished he could take her away from it all. Give her the break she deserved, but the threats were still coming at them from every angle and they _needed_ her to get them through.

“Perhaps once we defeat Praxis, you and I could take a vacation away from it all?” He heard her hum of approval at the idea before her arm twitched.

“There’s _always_ a new threat to deal with. I can’t leave The Order, even for a vacation, unless I step down from my position and I can’t do that until real change is made.” He heard her defeated tone and sighed before Tundra provided him a solution.

“We’ve been gone from Belgrave for over two months now…”

“But we’re at a Chapter Hamish, we’re still _in_ The Order…”

“Right, yes, I know. But maybe we can take a vacation near one of the other chapters once Praxis is taken care of? We can stay within a day’s travel of The Temple so they can summon you if you’re needed?” He didn’t push further as she thought over the idea before he felt a small nod.

“That…that could actually work…”

“Yeah? You know, I’ve always wanted to visit France someday…would you like to join me?” Again, he waited and forced his nerves to remain calm as she pulled herself off of him. The beaming smile was enough to bring his own out.

“I would love to.” She whispered before kissing him again. They had to defeat Ishtar and Praxis first, but it was something bright to look forward to. Something to get them through the difficult trials coming.

“I’m looking forward to it.” He said pulling her closer. When the knock came, they both sighed knowing their calm couldn’t last. Still, they had even more reason to fight tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vermish making plans for the future is everything 🥰😍 Hopefully they can make it to France one day. 😬
> 
> Next chapter starts the last day of the banishment multichapter arc. I can't believe we're finally here, I've been SOO excited for this arc since I first planned it!! 😁😁🤩🤩😍
> 
> This are going to be really rough and intense as things really start to pick up and a ton of questions will be answered finally...well...hopefully? 🤔🤷♀️😂😭


	102. A Plan And A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, we're 2/3 of the way through! 🥳🍾
> 
> And that's about the only positive thing I can say about this chapter...😬😬😭😭

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWO

Vera’s grip didn’t lessen on Hamish’s hand as they walked back towards the ritual room. First thing she noted was eight artifacts in place where each other member would stand and looked towards Adrian in confusion.

“A precaution we set up while you were resting. There’s only one realm left to banish her from.” He said bluntly and watched as she registered his words.

"Any one of us can activate the personal shields, and they don’t require our magic to maintain them. It is a last resort though because once they’re activated, they remain active for an hour. You know what that means?”

Vera nodded slowly as her hand tightened further on Hamish’s. How could she have missed the obviousness of what would happen today. She wasn’t just fighting Ishtar from one realm to another, she had to summon her into this realm, fight her here and then banish her into the pocket dimension.

Her previous assurance that she would survive began to crumble. Ishtar’s smugness from yesterday rang through her mind. She hadn’t meant _soon_ as in once she took control of Vera. She meant soon as in today. She was going to be targeting him for the entire duration.

“Do you have extras?” She asked and the three men focused on her at the worried tone.

“Vera, you nor your magic will be able to penetrate the field…”

“Not for me. She’s going to target Hamish, she promised me as much yesterday.” Hamish slipped his hand from her grip and wrapped his arm around her as her breathing picked up. He had felt Ishtar’s determination to get to him yesterday but hadn’t heard her promise to Vera.

Adrian and Holger looked to each other before Holger grabbed Emilie and Fynn and quickly walked off to the Vault. Adrian placed his hands on Vera’s shoulders and dropped to eye level with a reassuring smile.

“They’re looking now. If they can’t find any, he can have ours…” Vera and Hamish’s disbelieving eyes snapped towards him and shook their heads.

“Don’t argue with me Vera. Other than my promise to you, Holger and I have made promises as Temple Magus. Our duty is to protect our disciples. Hamish may not be from our Temple, but he’s still one of ours. Besides, we can look after ourselves.”

“What about Emilie?” Hamish asked. His main concern was protecting Vera, but after that came Emilie. That was why he promised Vera he would survive. To take care of her. Vera turned towards him and he saw the fear rising again.

“She can have ours. We were chosen for our defensive spells; it’s almost insulting to give us artifacts to do our job for us.” Vera’s wide eyes turned to Yara and saw her smiling widely at Vera.

“This is all well and good, but I feel the need to address something.” Camille said stepping forward with her artifact. The other’s turned to her and watched as she held hers up to Adrian.

“After Vera, you’re the strongest of us. You also know the most about ways to potentially save us if we fail, so _you_ need to be protected just as much as these wolves here.” Adrian looked troubled as he turned to her.

“Camille, no…”

“I’m sorry, did we not all agree to the same thing when Vera and Holger reached out to us? We were told there was a high possibility we may not make it. Now yes, obviously I want to survive, but the most important part is ensuring Ishtar is banished. And to do that, we need to protect the strongest members. She won’t be able to leave the Temple until after the three hours are up either way. If she wins, you are humanities best chance of stopping her later.”

“Sucks being the important one in the room, doesn’t it?” Vera remarked with a sad smile. She knew Adrian saw all of them as his disciples, he had been nominated as Grand Magus years ago, but he couldn’t stand the politics of it all and retired instead.

There were two ways the important person was thrown into a situation. Vera, obviously the most important in this case, was bound to fight Ishtar and put her life on the line. Adrian was bound to survive in case she failed; his life had to be protected.

“We’re going to beat her.” Hamish said with conviction and the others looked towards him. He looked down and met Vera’s eyes with a smile. “You’re _going_ to beat her, and I know you’ll keep everyone safe. It’s just who you are.”

“We found two more!” Emilie shouted sprinting towards them before she took in the rearranged devises. “What’s going on?” She whispered coming to an abrupt stop. “Why are there three in my spot…no, no, I’m not more important than you…”

Both Vera and Adrian froze at the girl’s terrified voice and looked to see her face had gone white as she backed away. She never wanted to be responsible for someone else’s death. Moving two shields to her meant taking them away from two people. That’s two lives.

“Emilie!” Vera shouted after the first several attempts didn’t work. She was standing right in front of her, both hands on her shoulders. Emilie’s frightened eyes snapped to hers before tears began to fall. Vera pulled her into her arms and dropped her lips to her ear.

“To me, you are.” She whispered and she felt Emilie’s head shake. “To Hamish and Fynn, you are. Holger is your Magus, to him you are. And Adrian made a promise to your parents, so to him you are.” She whispered before pulling back.

“Ishtar will be focusing on you, Hamish and myself. In order for me to be able to focus on fighting her, I need you both protected. Without having to worry about what she is trying to do to you, my attention won’t be split. Trust me to protect the others.”

Her eyes were conflicted, and Vera pulled her into her again dropping her lips to her ear. “You promised me you would make sure he survived Emilie. _You_ need to survive to make sure he survives. Please, I can’t do this without you.”

Vera knew it was low, but she had pulled the same manipulative move on Hamish. She needed them both to survive and if she had to guilt them into ensuring they did, then so be it. She couldn’t focus on Ishtar if she was constantly thinking about what the next attack would be.

“Fine, but don’t forget your promise to me.” She whispered back harshly, and Vera nodded.

“I’m going to fight like hell Emilie. That’s a promise I don’t intend to break.” She pulled back and saw the grim but determined face as she held up the two devices for Vera to take before walking to her position.

Vera looked up after starring at the devices for several seconds, trying to determine who to give them to. She smiled as she saw all of the older members pointing to an upset Fynn. He was glaring back with his arms crossed, but he was resigned to the fate.

“If I have to use them, so should you.” Emilie growled, shoving him for scowling at the others. He looked at her and saw the haunted look from after their parent’s died and immediately smiled, accepting the devices.

“You three activate them as soon as the link is formed, okay? Do not hesitate for even a second.” They nodded in understanding and the others took their places waiting for Vera to give them her signal.

She took a deep breath and nodded to the others. She felt the nausea from Adrian’s magic before the link connected and saw the three field’s go up. The nausea didn’t last long as the agony from the corruption lines overwhelmed it within seconds. It felt as if her skin was being ripped off.

She was so consumed with the pain flooding through her that she didn’t feel the concussive force slam out from the ring and into her, knocking her hands free from Hamish and Emilie’s grip as they yelled. She felt her head connect _hard_ with the pillar behind her before she slid limply to the ground.

Her eyes closed as blackness clouded her vision, but she heard Hamish and Emilie screaming for her to get up. She brought her hand under her and started pushing herself up, but her arm caved beneath her weight and her head slammed back against the floor.

“Vera, get _up_!” Hamish shouted again and she moved her head painfully against the floor to see what was happening. It took several seconds for her vision to clear enough to see Ishtar stalking towards her with a smirk in place.

That wasn’t her biggest concern, however. She saw movement behind the demon, more than eight people. Squeezing her eyes tight and blinking several times she tried to focus as blood began to slowly drip from her head wound into her eyes.

“ _No._ No, it can’t be…” She whispered as she zeroed in on the other figures. She _knew_ what the corruption lines were really doing. She knew what the eighth realm was now. It was the Demon realm and Ishtar had been making links for them to join her from the very beginning.

She watched with clouded eyes as Yara, Ivan, Camille, Holger and Adrian battled what must have been close to twenty demons while each shielded member had two demons trying to break through the field. She tried to push herself up again, but her arm wouldn’t move at all as her vision darkened further.

The last thing she saw was Ishtar swaying closer to her with that damn victorious smirk in place. Hamish, Emilie and Fynn begging her to get up was drowned out by the demon’s melodious voice.

“I _did_ promise I would destroy all of you.” She felt the demon wrap her hand around her throat and haul her into the air before everything went black around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! 😭😭😭😭 Ishtar knew from the very beginning what to do and was just biding her time 😭


	103. No. More. Deals!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I should have been in bed like 2 hours ago, especially as I am leading a super important conference call first thing tomorrow morning but...I have literally been SOOO excited to get to this chapter for MONTHS now...I so hope you like it

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THREE

Tundra forced his way out and clawed at the barrier as Vera hung limp in Ishtar’s grip. He could see Charlotte was doing the same, but neither barrier would budge. He saw the demons swarming around them, but noted they seemed to be of lesser rank.

Still dangerous though. That was clear as Camille took a powerful back hand to the face and went flying several feet before slamming into a pillar. He watched her pick herself back up and weave two attack spells at demon’s that were creeping up behind Yara. He watched the flawless, fluid motions and realized why she had been picked.

Ivan and Yara excelled in barrier incantations during combat. Adrian was strong, knowledgeable and disciplined. Holger excelled in defensive charms. But Camille was by far the most skilled in her precision attacks. Every single attack she sent landed at just the right angle to blast a demon back. It was likely why she had been able to land an attack on Ishtar the first day.

He saw her gaze flick towards Vera before slicing deeply into her palms and closing her eyes. He watched her hands move as if they were sculpting a snowball before her eyes snapped open and a jet of blue light launched from her hands and connected roughly with Ishtar’s back.

Camille dropped to her knees with the massive amount of energy that suddenly drained out of her, but she’d been successful. Vera fell from Ishtar’s grasp as the demon let out a howl of pain and focused her attention on her. He watched the irritated smirk slide onto Ishtar’s face before she launched a jet of red light at Camille. He knew that was a kill spell.

Tundra howled as the jet connected and threw Camille back. Yara was beside her in an instant, stopping her from sliding any further away from them and helped her back to her feet. He saw Camille’s nod of thanks and Yara’s enthusiastic smile and realized the woman had placed a localized shield _exactly_ where the spell had connected so it was strong enough to stop it.

They stood side by side, Camille sending attacks and Yara shielding them. Ivan, Adrian and Holger were doing the same. They were incredible together. _This_ is what The Order should be. Working together to save the world. Watching each other’s back. _Trusting_ each other.

“Hello.” Tundra’s attention snapped around to meet Ishtar’s amused face less than a foot from the barrier. He heard Charlotte’s furious snarls and looked towards the other wolf to see her silver eyes were focused lower. He followed her gaze almost hesitantly and heard Ishtar’s amused laugh as his eyes connected with Vera.

Ishtar was holding Vera’s unconscious form up by her neck alone. He saw Vera’s chest rising and falling and knew it wasn’t tight enough to cut off her oxygen flow completely, but it would leave bruises. She was bleeding heavily from her headwound and a large bruise was already forming over her cheekbone. The only positive was that he could see all of Ishtar’s corruption lines were gone.

He growled viciously and pushed harder against the barrier. Ishtar laughed again and pulled Vera up to eyelevel as she inspected her. His fist slammed against the barrier when Ishtar lifted the bottom of Vera’s shirt up and traced her finger along the section she couldn’t penetrate. She turned her head towards Tundra and grinned wickedly.

“Do you _know_ what he has done to her? If you tell me how to break his hold on her, I promise not to kill her. In fact, I’ll also offer the same deal as before, but catered for you. You lead me to him so I can remove the wolf and I promise not to kill her. Yes, you and your champion will die, but your Claimed won’t be attacked.”

 _“No! We promised her.”_ Hamish growled brokenly from within and Tundra shook his head. They watched blinding fury cross the demon’s face as she shifted her grip to the back of Vera’s neck and slammed her against the field around Tundra.

“Then her death is on _you_. Say goodbye to your Claimed, Emerson.” Tundra brought a hand up and placed it flat on the barrier before resting his head against it before submitting to Hamish so his Champion could say goodbye.

“I love you Vera.” He whispered brokenly pulling Tundra close to the surface, unable to bear her death himself. He heard Emilie’s tearful screaming to _‘stop_ ’ and _‘just wait’_ , but spoke lowly, knowing she would hear him. “We promised her Emilie. I know she made you promise the same thing as me.”

“No, no, please, not again, please no! _Please!_ ” Hamish knew Emilie wasn’t listening to him of Fynn trying desperately to get her attention, she was stuck in her own trauma. He watched as Ishtar looked towards her with a cocked head and pulled Vera away to walk towards her.

“What about you? Would dear Charlotte like to make a deal?” Hamish watched the flicker of hope on Emilie’s face and shouted out to her.

“We have to be strong _for her_ Emilie! _You_ told me that!”

“Oh, come now. How is sacrificing her needlessly being strong for her? You’re letting her die so you can survive and you both know it.” Hamish looked around for anyone else to help but realized Ishtar wasn’t just holding Vera like she was to taunt them. She was using her as a shield.

“Charlotte! Don’t you _dare_ let Vera back out of her promise she made to your sister. Remember your niece’s wolf is still out there! If you allow your Champion to make this deal, not only will she be breaking _her_ promise to Vera, but she will be responsible for _all_ of our deaths, including your sister and your niece!”

“ _No. More. Deals!”_ Ishtar froze at the voice before slowly turning towards it with a look of disbelief and outrage.

 _“How?”_ She whispered in shock, shielding herself just before a hail of lightning fell from the ceiling. Hamish stumbled slightly before getting his legs steady beneath him and turning slowly. He took in the other members fearful gazes as the lightning rained down all around them.

The ground fractured throughout the room and bits of the ceiling fell around them, but no lightning connected with any of their members. It was almost as if a shield of lightning had encompassed each of them.

Still Hamish continued to turn. None of their eyes were focused on the lightning, but rather who was causing it.

He’d only seen her twice, and only for a split second each time, but she was more solid then. Now she seemed to shift about, as if she were made of energy itself. Was that how she survived the Excidium? Was it how she had survived so many years?

She, well she was _gorgeous_ , even as she shifted unnaturally. Her golden eyes were shining brightly as her long black hair crackled around her with lightning. Her red clothing whipped around her as she stalked closer to the demon. He looked towards Vera to see her collapsed on the ground now, but saw she was also encased in a lightning shield now.

“You took _everything_ from me!” Amalie snarled and her eyes grew brighter as the force of the lightning increased.

“You made your choice! I took _one_ from you, _they_ took two! And _still_ you protect them?! _Why?!_ ” Ishtar pushed against the barrage of lightning to point at the Order members.

“ _You_ spread hate amongst my kind. _You_ whispered in his ear. _You_ were the one that planted the idea to kill my Amalia. And _now,_ now you wish to kill my sister _and_ my daughter’s wolf?!” Again, the lightning increased as Amalie’s voice grew louder and more menacing.

“But _they_ were the ones that killed both your sister and children, not _me_!” Ishtar tried again, but the lightning began to shift to hails of fire as Amalie’s rage grew.

 _This_ was the force that had been trying to get into Vera’s mind?! She could’ve _easily_ killed them at any time. She had never planned to hurt them. _This_ was the true power of the creator of the Vade Maecum. This was a Werewolf Empress. Without realizing it, he had fallen to his knees in respect.

“ _Why_ bother helping them at all?! Hate us _both_!” He could see panic beginning to form on Ishtar’s face.

“ _She_ is not _him_. _She_ has bonded with one of my kin. Gilgamesh has chosen to protect her, and I must honor his wishes. She has already experienced her loss as well as my own. She will _never_ allow that to happen to someone else’s child...”

He watched Ishtar grin suddenly, before twirling once. “And what about _hers_? You sense her magic; you _know_ she craves it. What’s to stop her from doing the same as your husband?”

Hamish froze at the first sentence as hope blossomed up against him before he remembered it wasn’t possible. He knew Ishtar was trying to manipulate Amalie. He turned his attention to her to tell her, but Amalie’s face told him she already knew.

“She cannot _have_ children any longer. She will never be able to sacrifice her child for that book. Surely, you’ve sensed her enchantment by now. You’ve spent the past few days trying to break it so you could control her.” Ishtar grinned again before cocking her head to the side and looking up innocently through her lashes.

“Is _that_ what I’ve been doing? Are you _sure_ about that?” He watched Amalie freeze in hesitation and felt his hope rising as he looked down at Vera. Was it possible somehow?

He looked back towards Amalie to see her eyes closed in concentration, the fire had shifted back to lightning, but it didn’t weaken. Several demons had returned to their realm under the onslaught, only four of higher rank still remained.

He felt like he was holding his breath as he waited for Amalie to deliver the news. Her eyes closed further in concentration as she sniffed the air deeply as if she were trying to _smell_ the truth. She snapped her golden eyes open as the lightning returned to fire and she advanced towards Ishtar.

 _“Lies.”_ Hamish felt himself deflate. He knew he shouldn’t have let himself hope. He knew Ishtar was a trickster. His eyes were drawn to something on Amalie as she stormed past him. Everything about her shifted, except one section along her side.

There was a solid patch of what looked like torn flesh that remained constant as the sections all around it shifted. It was wrong and he found himself trying to look away from the wrongness of it but couldn’t understand it. He didn’t have long to ponder how bizarre it was or what was causing it because Emilie’s terrified scream snapped him back to reality.

As Amalie angrily advanced on Ishtar, Ishtar gave a wink as she waved and disappeared into Vera. The second the demon entered her; her body started convulsing violently. Amalie looked towards Hamish and Emilie sadly before turning back to Vera.

“I will _try_ not to kill her.” She promised before following after Ishtar and disappearing within Vera. Vera’s seizing became more violent and her head kept slamming against the ground as blood began to slowly fall from her nose and ears.

* * *

This video shows three things (skip to 3:00), first is basically how Vera's eyes become more radiant as she pulls on more power, The constant raining down of lightning forming an impenetrable barrier and basically Hamish/Tundra and Emilie/Charlottes attempts to break through as Ishtar stands there with Vera. I didn't plan it that way, but when I found the video I went _yes_!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHgltzO1I0&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR22BocMVccSx68j20MrPzSuokbVbZH42sFagta4vTzpjhLv0KvEjRQQp4Q

* * *

This is the closest I could find to sort of give an idea of Amalie, she's _more_ formed than Morgana, but basically the same effect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sggJxXrxCrE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, I know. A terrible cliffhanger. 😬 But I'm just too excited to finally be here! Ever since I worked out Amalie and Ishtar's past back in what, like chapter 28 or something? I have been waiting to get to this point of an epic showdown between them...
> 
> Vera is in SERIOUS trouble right now because not only are two ancient powerful beings fighting within her, but all their magic is as well 😬😬😭😭 But the odds of all the others surviving has significantly gone up so there's that...🤷♀️😬😭


	104. A Broken Promise And A Knight's Oath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews last chapter, lots of questions will be answered in this one...well...sort of

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR

The lightning ceased the second Amalie was encased within Vera and the others went back to fighting the remaining four demons. Hamish, Emilie and Fynn could do nothing but watch as Vera started to bleed heavier from her nose and ears as the tremors grew worse.

They watched as she froze before her eyes snapped open and became radiate as a blast of blinding white light burst out of her. Ishtar was pushed from her body by the force and slammed into the far wall along with the remaining demons.

Vera almost glided to her feet with a determined grin. Her hair was whipping around violently, and her eyes were a radiant gold, but there was no aura this time. The link wasn’t formed, and they could all feel their magical reserves within themselves. So how was she doing this?

“Vera?” He called out and her head coked to the side with a frown.

“I’m sorry Hamish, but no.” He met Emilie’s frightened gaze before they both turned back to Vera as she sent a blast of blue and red fire lightning towards Ishtar who howled in rage.

* * *

Vera felt the familiar presence in her mind warring with the agonizing one. She tried to latch onto it and felt Amalie bring her towards the surface of Ishtar’s dominating presence.

 _“Give me complete control to push her out and fight her. She has collected too much power in the centuries she’s been banished and only increased in her time in the eight realms. You don’t have the strength or power to fight her. But if you allow me control of your body and mind, I will have the ability to fight her and protect you from her.”_ Amalie healed her head wound and cheek as she desperately pleaded with Vera to listen to her.

 _‘My body rejected you last time.’_ She heard Amalie’s irritated huff as she pushed harder against Ishtar.

_“And it likely will again. But hopefully not as fast if both our consciousnesses aren’t occupying the same mind. I must warn you of the risks though. In order to fight her, I will need access to my spell.”_

_‘What spell…The Fors Factorum? You created it?’_

_“Yes, for myself to fight my husband. It was how I was able to cast the Excidium without cost to myself…”_

_‘Is there a cure?’_ Vera asked desperately. If so, all she had to do was survive this. She felt Amalie’s irritation focus on her as she held Ishtar back.

_“It’s the price you must pay. You shouldn’t have cast it in greed…”_

_‘I needed the power to fight another demon. Emperor Rogwan broke free and we had no way to fight him. I never wanted its power nor it’s curse. I did what I had to do to protect my people.’_ Vera growled darkly and felt Amalie cock her head as she determined the truth of her words and sadness crept in. Vera had her answer, but still Amalie tried to explain it.

_“It was never supposed to be used again. In its creation, I weaved an unbreakable corruption into it to attack the caster’s body if it were to ever be performed again. The side effect was put in place for if it fell into the hands of my husband or The Order. They must have found it when they captured Amalia, because it’s obviously in the Order’s possession now. There’s no way I know of that can reverse its effect. I’m sorry Vera.”_

Vera deflated at the news, there had still been a small part of her that had been hoping for a cure. But now, the creator of the incantation herself was giving her the damning sentence.

_“Vera, you must choose. There are three consciousness fighting for power within your mind right now. Ishtar only has to overpower you to gain control, but you can surrender it to me, and I can complete the banishment, possibly even her death. I cannot promise you will survive, but I will promise to do what I can and to protect those you love.”_

Vera felt the truth in her words and the bubbling fury from Ishtar as she tried to dominate her mind. She bit her lip before nodding.

_‘Very well, use what you must. They are all good people Amalie, keep them all safe. But, if it comes down to a choice…I…Hamish, Emilie and Fynn must survive, at all costs, do you understand? I need you to give me your word on your children’s graves that you will make sure they survive.’_

_“Done.”_ Amalie promised without hesitation. She felt Vera hesitate and tilted her head as she waited patiently.

 _‘If I don’t survive…can you…please tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him.’_ Amalie smiled sadly as she agreed and asked if Vera was ready. When she nodded, Amalie shoved her from her mind and took full control in one brilliant wave of magic.

* * *

“You should be _dead_!” Ishtar screamed sending a barrage of attacks towards Vera. Amalie, possessing Vera, deflected most back towards the remaining four demons. Her grin was wide when they abandoned their Empress, and she couldn't stop her laugh of victory when Ishtar snarled at her.

“You are correct and yet, here I am.” Amalie spoke through Vera sending another wave of fire and lightning towards Ishtar. The demon easily deflected them towards the others, adding in a few of her own attacks with them. Amalie was faster and snuffed her attacks out while blocking Ishtar’s from connecting with any of the members.

 _“How?!_ How are you alive?! _”_ She growled deciding to focus her attacks on Hamish and Emilie in an attempt to exert Amalie’s power to dangerous levels knowing it would attack Vera. Hamish watched as Amalie looked towards the devices near his feet and actually felt the barriers grow thicker as they strengthened.

He heard the frustration in Ishtar’s voice and turned his attention back towards Vera’s form as Amalie tilted her head in contemplation.

“I’m not entirely sure to be honest. Does it really matter?” She launched another powerful barrage of attacks at Ishtar before stumbling slightly. She immediately looked towards Adrian and shook her head slightly and Hamish watched as the older man’s face showed anguish.

“What?! What is it?” He shouted and Amalie looked back at him wearing Vera’s face.

“I’m not sure there will be enough barriers remaining to contain my essence. She lost two when the three of us fought for control, since she gave it over to me, her body has lost five.” Hamish shook his head in horror, refusing to believe the words. It’d only been a few minutes, how had she lost _seven_ barriers already?! That only left eight and they had the majority of the ritual remaining still.

“ _Just_ contain her! Stop attacking and flooding her body with _that_ magic.” Adrian spat harshly as he instructed the others to form up again. It was the first time Hamish had seen rage on the man’s face.

“Use the damn ring to hold her so _we_ can take the burden. The more you attack her, the more barriers you erode. At the rate you’re going, she won’t last long enough to even complete the banishment.”

Amalie wavered as her eyes focused on Ishtar pulling herself from a pile or ruble. Her children’s dead bodies vividly flashing through her mind as she _finally_ came face to face with the one responsible.

“Please sister. My champion cannot lose her and to be honest, neither can I.” Amalie’s attention snapped towards Emilie who had channeled Charlotte again.

“I can _finally_ kill her Charlotte! I can finally rid the wolves of her vile trickery…”

“I believe you. But in doing so, you will kill Emerson, Hamish, Emilie and myself. You will be responsible for the slaughter of our kind, _again_. _Think_ sister, see past your rage. Amalia and Maria wouldn’t want this, you have to know that. All you’ve done is try to protect _good_ people. Vera _is_ good. She will find Amalia’s wolf and _together_ we can restore her and Maria’s memories. Don’t do this, please.”

“Charlotte, you don’t…” Amalie started to argue, but her hesitancy was clear before Hamish interrupted.

“She _promised_ me she would fight to survive. If she willingly gave up control to you, it meant she thought it was her only way to survive. She _trusted_ you. _I_ trusted you. Are you going to betray us like Ishtar betrayed you? Are you going to take _everything_ from me like she did to you? If you go back on your word, I _promise_ you, I will find Alpha and I will kill her myself.”

Hamish’s voice was dark and low as the others looked towards him. His eyes were gold as an aura began to build around him. It was pouring from his ring that was glowing a vibrant gold. Swirls of green and gold began flooding around him.

“You wouldn’t dare…” Amalie’s voice had lowered, matching his dangerous tone, but Hamish and Tundra could sense the fear radiating from her.

“I give you my oath as the leader of the Knights that I will track Alpha down and find a way to wipe her from existence if you break your promise to us.” Amalie released a snarl from Vera’s mouth and began to advance towards Hamish with the intention of attacking.

“You said you honor Gilgamesh’s choices to _protect_ her Amalie! _LOOK_! Just _look_ at them! He has chosen to protect them _both_! You have to honor that. You _have_ to submit to _his_ will.” Charlotte screamed as Emilie’s fist slammed against the barrier, unable to do anything else. It was enough to halt Amalie in her tracks though and she watched as her sister’s gaze roved over Hamish before Vera’s body.

Both were swirling with the same green and gold aura. She felt the heat of the ring on her finger and looked towards Hamish’s and knew it must be how Gilgamesh is protecting them, using or manipulating the link somehow through her ring. She felt the ring heat up further at the realization and let her shoulders drop in sorrow.

She _had_ good intentions when she asked Vera for control. She hadn’t meant to get caught up in her thirst for revenge. She’d almost cost the lives of her sister and daughter. And she almost became that which she despises.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, you’re right.” Her voice shook as she realized what she had almost done. She quickly made her way between Charlotte and Hamish and dropped the fields around the three of them with a quick wave of her hand so they could reform the link.

Hamish’s eyes didn’t stop glowing as he grabbed her hand. The second he did, it was no longer two separate auras. One solid vibrant green aura began to wrap around them both, the gold extinguished completely at their contact. He heard Amalie’s gasp of _‘That’s impossible!’_ but couldn’t allow himself to look at her. Her thirst for revenge may have cost Vera her life.

“Do you see what I mean _now_?!” Ishtar yelled as her hand indicated the swirling aura. “He _played_ with a human somehow. You know what’s happening right now is not possible. Not unless…”

“Unless they’re both bonded wolves…” Amalie’s disbelieving words _did_ draw his attention with those words.

“But she’s not one. If she were than she would have fallen victim to my attack day one. So, if _she’s_ not one, then where does that leave us? What is the _only_ other way to have a wolf bond? Father and child perhaps?” Amalie froze and Ishtar grinned wickedly as she pushed herself up the rest of the way, so she was standing tall.

“Are you sure you want to continue protecting her now that you know the truth?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No! Is magic forest baby real?! 😱 Is Ishtar telling the truth? 🤔 Will that change Amalie's choice to protect Vera? 😬 What is happening to Hamish right now?! 😱 And nooo, Amalie created the Fors Factotum and is saying there's no cure?! Noooo 😭


	105. Gilgamesh's Corruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE

“She’s not pregnant!”

“Why? Because she cast some enchantment on herself? Enchantments can be weakened or broken…”

“And yet you made _no_ impact on it! For _days_ you tried…” Hamish snarled. He was _done_ allowing Ishtar to try and distract him.

“Silence!” Amalie shouted and closed her eyes tightly as she searched. It was a dark wall of magic to her mind, but she pulled from the reserves and was able to _just_ barely glimpse into the enchanted section enough to know the truth. She pulled back and refused to meet Hamish’s eyes as she felt the hope he was trying to crush.

“There’s no child within, it cannot be broken. He has done something else to her.” She felt Hamish’s anguish at the confirmation and tried to squeeze his hand in comfort, but he snarled out a warning. She may be in Vera’s body, but she _wasn’t_ her.

“What else could he possibly do besides… _no_.” The demon’s eyes widened in shock and Hamish felt Amalie go rigid beside him. “He wouldn’t, would he? After all these centuries? For a random human? I don’t believe it.” Ishtar sat with a smile on her face as her eyes closed in concentration.

“She’s going to attack us, weave a barrier.”

“There’s _nothing_ to protect us from what she’s about to do unless it’s not true.” Her tone was terrified, and Hamish looked to see her face had paled drastically. “What happened when you met with him in the woods? _Quickly_!” She barked when Emilie and Hamish looked at her in shock.

“We were unconscious when they came to an agreement. I don’t know anything other than the fact that he healed her, green accompanied the normal gold and somehow it allowed her to enter the barrier without touching myself or Emilie.” Hamish watched as her eyes closed in dread and felt a wave of fear. “Why is that bad?”

“Healing her isn’t, but the fact that he healed a human _and_ a practitioner at that shows he cared about her survival. The green is most concerning. In an effort to save her, he may have unknowingly damned us all.” Hamish growled in frustration as he jerked her hand back, so she was forced to face him.

“What does that _mean_?!” He ground out, eyes brightening.

“The green aurora with the gold _could_ mean he may have infused her with his essence. If that’s the case it would explain how she would have been able to leave the woods unharmed and allowed a bond to form. But even if there’s only a small amount residing within her, Ishtar may be able to remove the curse…”

“But how, he’s protected. She can’t access _his_ wolf…”

“You don’t understand. A wolf _can’t_ just go around giving pieces of themselves. _If_ he did what we suspect, he is transferring _all_ of his wolf to her…”

“Are you saying she _is_ a wolf then? Gilgamesh chose her as a champion?” Adrian asked in confusion. Hamish had forgotten the others were present, but thankfully as he looked up, they didn’t seem as worried about Vera becoming a wolf as he’d thought they’d be.

“Not _yet_ , the full transference would take twelve to eighteen months for a wolf of magic rank. I believe him and I are the only ones left of that rank. If their _wolf_ cannot perform magic, silver eyes, it would take much longer, most times never completing a transference as it takes a low level of continual concentration to be maintained. It was rare and usually only done in an act of desperation or old age on the wolf’s part.

“But if we’re right, she _was_ becoming one. The problem remains however that if we are right, she won’t ever become one because we will be stripped of our wolves right here, right now. There is nothing I can do to stop it, even if I were to attack her, this ability doesn’t require her magic.”

She felt Hamish questioning why Vera would keep this to herself. Did she negotiate for this? And if so, _why_ not tell him?

“If it’s true, she didn’t know.” He looked up at her with harsh eyes that softened slightly as he nodded.

“Well, let us test that theory, shall we?” Ishtar grinned and raised her hand palm up. Just her pointer finger remained out. Her teeth came to bite her bottom lip in excitement as she twirled her finger. Amalie tightened her grip on both Hamish and Emilie as a thin green thread wrapped around Vera’s torso and connected with Ishtar’s outstretched finger. 

“ _FINALLY_!” Ishtar shouted in glee. Amalie turned towards Hamish abruptly and pulled him closer to her as she brought her lips to his ear.

“She made me promise that if there was no way she could return to tell you how sorry she was and how much she loved you.” She whispered and pulled back to see his broken face.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what he’d done. I never would have had her given me control if I knew. I can’t get her back in time to say goodbye.” She could feel his anguish pouring through the link as his knees started to give out.

Tundra took control, but the gold eyes remained. “I’m so sorry Tundra. For everything.” She apologized before turning to see Emilie staring at her in shocked disbelief as tears streamed down her face.

“She loved you _so_ much Emilie, she…”

“ _Touching_ , but I’ve waited long enough for this moment.” Ishtar interrupted and cocked her head innocently as she twitched her finger several times in amusement before yanking her finger in towards her palm.

Amalie felt the painful tug, but nothing happened to Hamish or Emilie. She heard Ishtar’s outraged cry and watched her finger curl again. She felt the pain again and pulled her hand in Hamish’s grip to Vera’s shirt and pulled it up to see _exactly_ where the thread ended after wrapping around her.

Amalie felt the grin spread across her face as she looked up through her lashes at Ishtar. The demon’s howl of rage was ear splintering as her green eyes focused on the point the thread connected.

“He knew you’d try so he did the only thing he could. Unless you find a way to break this enchantment, you will _never_ succeed in killing the wolves. You know he has a gift with barrier enchantments; it’s how he’s avoided you for so long. He found a way to infuse himself into the only place he would keep his kin safe while keeping her safe. You’ve failed.”

She felt Hamish’s hand squeeze hers again and Emilie’s tighten as Ishtar charged towards them. She didn’t speak or use a hand; she had no need. Instead, she pulled on the full force of the rings and began to shape the barrier around Ishtar just as Vera had done the first day.

She tried to use as little of the Fors Factorum as possible, but Ishtar’s fury and desperation were too great. She met Adrian’s eyes as Ishtar pushed forward and saw him give a solemn nod before she pulled on the cancerous magic.

She felt the barriers rupturing throughout Vera’s body as she battled with Ishtar and pulled harder on the magic to close the field. She squeezed tightly to both hands just as the field closed before commanding them not to let go. They watched as Vera dropped to the floor unconscious as Amalie stood, almost completely translucent now.

“How many are left?” Adrian asked and she looked at him with sadness.

“Two, but the second is significantly weakened. I suspect she will have one left by the end.” She watched Hamish and Emilie give a relieved sigh as they knelt beside Vera. When she swept her gaze around the others to see the same relief, she met Adrian’s gaze. He was the only one who understood.

With the state her body was in, one barrier would last her maybe seven or eight months. It was better than if she’d been left with none though. They knew she’d only have one, maybe two months tops if that were the case.

“Thank you for helping us.” Adrian bowed in respect as Amalie flickered in front of him just before she disappeared again.

Vera’s body began to seize again when they had twenty-six minutes left. Her blood starting to flow from her ears and nose. He looked up towards Emilie, but Charlotte had already taken control and began pulling the burden away. Tundra didn’t need to be told as he drew the rest from her.

Charlotte held on longer this time, but she still caved beneath the agony with a couple minutes left. Tundra gave a pained huff before pulling the rest from her body. His eyes were closed tight against the pain, but he refused to cave.

He heard Adrian shouting to sever the connection and remove her ring. Tundra severed the connection and shakily brought Vera’s hand to Camille to remove her ring. He was too concerned he would sever her finger if he tried removing it in the state he was in.

Tundra watched as the ring disappear the second it was finally removed from her finger, and lifted Vera, forcing his legs to last until they made it to the medical room. He carefully set her down on the bed and immediately passed out. Adrian caught Hamish as he fell and with Holger’s help, got him in his sweatpants and carefully hoisted him onto the bed behind Vera.

He stepped back and let Holger scan Vera and saw the man turn to him with a smile. “Just under half of one remains. It was enough…what is it?” Holger asked as Adrian sank into the chair with his head in his hands.

“We never expected she would go through all of them. I gave her hope and she believed me…”

“Hope for what? She survived Adrian. They did what they were supposed to do.” Holger conjured a chair beside his mentor. Adrian lifted his hand and cast a silence incantation around just them as he met Holger’s eyes.

“She’s dying Holger. The rings don’t allow for free magic, not even hers.” He watched Holger’s eyes go wide as he shook his head and looked towards Vera. “She did it to save the world from Rogwan…”

“Do they know?” He interrupted looking down at the man lying beside Vera.

“No, and we can never tell them. I promised her that if she fought, I wouldn’t tell them. He will blame himself and you know Emilie will as well. She has to tell them on her own.”

“How much time did she think she was getting?” He asked quietly. _Ten years_ he had known her, and she never asked for anything. She never _lived_. Now he knew why she had responded the way she had when he first asked if there was anything between her and Hamish. She loved him but knew she was dying and trying to spare him from the pain her death would bring him.

“I made her believe she would have years with him. I _thought_ she would have years…”

“How long will she have?” He asked the question, but he didn’t want to know. Not after Adrian looked at him with anguished eyes.

“Months. Three, maybe four if she’s lucky. And that’s only if her hand isn’t forced to use free magic again.” He whispered standing and pulling the blanket over both of them.

“Amalie said she was becoming a wolf, the original wolf, could that help her? Could he heal her?” He was grasping at straws, but he was desperate. Not only did Vera deserve to have a future, but she was also his friend.

“Based off of the time it would take to complete the transference and Amalie’s reaction to the remaining barriers, no. I don’t think there’s anything we can do to help her this time.” He admitted brokenly as he ushered the younger man from the room.

He looked back once more and saw Hamish had shifted slightly. His hand was resting on top of the blanket, right over her abdomen with a hint of a smile on his face.

It was like a sucker punch to the gut knowing how much was about to be ripped away from the young man. He would honor Vera’s wishes though. He would protect them, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say please don't hate me but...I hate myself at the moment for this one...and knowing what's starting next chapter (I thought we were still a chapter away from the next arc but...apparently not...)
> 
> But uh...Ishtar is banished...so...there's that right?


	106. Give Her Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me - I'm not trying to hurt you, I swear...but also...I have been soooo excited for this arc and have been hinting at it the last few chapters...
> 
> For anyone that wants some clarification on some things (Gold eyes/magic rank wolves/who does/doesn't have a hide) look at my response to everythingaboutthatship from last chapter.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SIX

Emilie woke abruptly and grunted at the familiar agonizing pain coursing through her. Still, she sent her immediate thanks to Charlotte for what she did in helping Vera. She felt Fynn grab her hand and helped her sit up slowly. The dizziness swept through her before she could shake it off and look towards Hamish’s bed to see it empty.

“He passed out after bringing Vera back. Adrian and Holger thought it would be best if they were together when she wakes up.” Emilie snapped her gaze to him, but her vision was slow to follow. She reached out her hand to steady herself as she tried to make the room stop spinning.

“ _When_ she wakes up? Meaning she hasn’t yet?” She asked and he shook his head sadly. “How long has it been?” She knew they were both alive at least, but Fynn’s grim face did little to relieve her growing panic.

“Emilie, you need to calm down…”

“How long?” She demanded as Charlotte’s eyes flashed.

“You’ve been out for almost thirty-six hours…”

“And she hasn’t woken up yet? What about Hamish?” She was already pushing him out of the way so she could climb out of bed. He would be panicking right now, she had to help him. She felt Fynn steady her as the floor started rising up to meet her by pulling her arm across his shoulders and wrapping his own around her waist.

“Last I heard, he was still out of it. Come on, the others have been monitoring them.” The trip felt like it took an eternity, but as they rounded the last hallway and Emilie saw the door she couldn’t force her legs to work anymore.

“Is she okay?” Fynn tightened his grip around her waist at her frightened tone.

“She’s alive Em, they both are.” That was all he could offer her. He had been able to tell Adrian and Holger were visibly worried that Vera hadn’t woken yet. Hamish and Emilie being out for so long made sense, but they couldn’t find anything wrong with Vera.

Her breathing was steady, her pulse was strong, and all of the corruption Ishtar had spread throughout her body had left. They had done multiple scans every hour and couldn’t find any explanation as to why she was still unconscious.

Emilie pulled her arm from Fynn’s shoulder and hugged herself tightly as she hesitantly followed him into the room. She saw Holger scanning Vera again as Adrian walked towards her with a small smile.

“It’s good to see you awake Ms. Brandt. Hopefully that means Hamish will be waking up soon as well.” Emilie’s full attention was on the two figures on the bed.

“And Vera?” She asked quietly as she moved closer.

“We don’t know.” He wasn’t going to lie to her. He watched as she nodded and fought back tears as she crawled in on Vera’s opposite side and placed her head on her shoulder. She sniffled quietly as her hand grabbed onto one of Vera’s and pulled it towards her chest.

She felt Vera breathe deeply as soon as her hand connected with her chest and pulled away from her shoulder to look down at her. Her brows were furrowed, and her lips were twitching as if she were talking, but she heard nothing.

“She’s been doing that ever since we checked on her an hour after we brought them here. Does she talk in her sleep?” Adrian asked and Emilie shook her head as she laid it back down on Vera’s shoulder.

“Only when she’s mostly asleep. Never when she’s actually asleep.” She muttered around a heavy yawn as she started to feel the heaviness of her eyes.

“We’ll let you rest. Mr. Brandt, we’ll be back in an hour. If anything changes, come and get us at once.”

“Yes Magus.” He responded and tucked himself into the vacant chair to act as sentinel for the three passed out on the bed.

Adrian and Holger returned four times since Emilie had fallen asleep again. They were pushing the fifth hour, forty-one hours since Ishtar had been banished and both Hamish and Vera were still unconscious. Emilie had barely woken, but she _had_ regained consciousness.

Fynn heard the door opening and started looking towards the two men just as he heard a groan. He stood quickly and walked closer to see Hamish’s face was pinched in pain. They had all been hoping Vera would be the one to wake up first.

Hamish turned further in on Vera and buried his nose against her neck taking a deep breath before he froze and snapped his head towards the other figures in the room with a low growl. When he saw they weren’t a threat, Tundra backed down immediately and Hamish looked at them in confusion.

“Um…hello?” Why were they all just standing around watching them sleep? And why did they look so concerned? As he woke further everything flooded back into him and his eyes became sharper.

“How long was I out this time?” He watched Fynn flinch slightly and knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

“Almost forty-one hours.” Hamish’s eyes widened in shock and he looked towards Vera. She must have been so worried. Though, now that he focused on her there were a few questions that began to form in his mind.

She rarely slept on her back, usually she would curl up on her side against him. Her hair was slightly greasy, though she may not have wanted to leave him long enough to shower. The biggest question however, was why she would willingly choose to crawl in beside him _and_ Emilie, in the Temple without her shirt or pants on.

 _‘Calm yourself Hamish.’_ Tundra soothed before Hamish brought his fingers to her pulse point. He let out a sigh, but the relief was still a ways off as he turned to face the others.

“She hasn’t regained consciousness yet, has she?” Adrian shook his head and approached.

“We’ve been scanning her every hour, but there’s _nothing_ wrong with her. She also seems to be actively conversing with someone…” He watched Hamish’s eyes grow wide with fear as he turned his attention back towards Vera.

“No, no, no! Don’t do this Vera. You promised me you wouldn’t give up!” He was on his knees hunched over Vera, her head clutched between his hands as he held his forehead against hers. “ _Please_ come back to me.” He pleaded quietly with his eyes closed.

“What’s going on?” Emilie asked fearing the worst as she hesitantly brought her fingers to the inside of Vera’s wrist on the hand she was holding. When she felt Vera’s steady pulse beneath her fingers, she pulled herself into a sitting position to see over Hamish.

The other three looked completely lost as to why Hamish was losing it right now. She turned her attention back towards him and brought her hand to his back, rubbing gentle circles across it.

“Hamish? What’s happening right now? You said she needs to come back, where is she?”

“I should have realized it sooner. Amalie said she took control of Vera. To do so she had to push Vera from her mind. She also said she couldn’t get her back in time to say goodbye. Vera’s been in the collective unconscious this entire time. Something is holding her there.”

“I thought that was a myth…” Holger exclaimed but Hamish shook his head.

“Jack, Silverback’s champion, has been twice. And Alyssa, the disciple who is working for Praxis now, she entered it to collect a piece of the Vade Maecum…”

“Is it dangerous there?” Holger asked and Hamish hesitated before shaking his head uncertainly.

“I don’t know. It may have just been what Alyssa experienced that made it dangerous or it it’s possible it could be dangerous depending on where you are.” He brushed Vera’s hair from her face as a gentle smile crossed her face before her brows furrowed and she started mumbling.

He brought his ear to her lips, both him and Tundra focusing carefully on her words. He missed most of them but caught enough that it sent a wave of dread through him. _“Not going to leave.”_

“Both of them returned from this place though, right? I heard you talking to Jack on the phone, so he had to return. That means Vera just has to return…” Emilie started, trying to convince herself.

“She has to _choose_ to return, just like Jack did.” Hamish whispered brokenly as the small smile spread across her face again.

“But why wouldn’t she choose to return? She knows her life is here.” He met her confused eyes with his watery ones and gave her a pained smile.

“Because an important part of her life _isn’t_ here anymore…”

“Well she’s not there either!” Emilie growled in desperation as her arms crossed defiantly, denying what was happening right now.

“Yes Emilie, she is. The collective unconscious is where all the dead go. You can see and talk with them…”

“Alexandra was just a baby Hamish…”

“I _know_ that!” He growled snapping his glare to Adrian.

“So, she _can’t_ be talking with her. She was too little.”

“But she could have found her. Someone else may be trying to convince her to leave.” They didn’t understand how much she missed her daughter. Vera wouldn’t stay there for so long, she wouldn’t _want_ to stay there and leave him worrying for anything less than her baby. He _knew_ it.

“I know of no one from her past that she would talk to, do you?” Hamish thought hard at the question but was coming up empty. He heard Emilie’s gasp and looked up to see her looking at him with pain as she pointed at him and that’s when he realized it didn’t have to be someone from _her_ past.

“From her past, no. From mine, absolutely.” He found himself smiling now as he brushed her hair back again. “Give her hell for me, Cassie.”

* * *

Forty-one hours ago

Vera’s eyes opened suddenly to find herself in a forest of some sort. The lighting was off though. It was almost yellow. And it was quiet, much too quiet. Something was wrong here, she had to get out.

She pushed herself off the stone altar and took in more of her surroundings. When she saw the stone ruins her shoulders dropped. She knew where she was now, and she remembered how she had gotten here. She went back to the altar and sat with her legs dangling over the side as she waited.

She _should_ be able to feel when Amalie left her body so she could return. If her body could still support her any longer that is. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed by when she started to feel her skin crawl. Someone or someone’s were watching her.

She knew enemies could be lingering here, just hoping to prey on her. She couldn’t let herself die here. If she did, there would be no returning. She heard the twig snap behind her and waited until she felt the presence to her side.

Her hand darted out and grabbed the attacker around the throat before turning towards them. Her eyes widened and her grip dropped immediately. Vera took several steps back as her head shook. She’d never seen the nineteen year old girl before, but those identical grey-blue eyes, that raven hair, the lips, even the nose.

“Ally? Baby, is that you?” She whispered before she felt her hand being grabbed as she was pulled forward abruptly into two strong arms.

“Hi mom. I’ve missed you so _much_.” Vera’s eyes closed as she fell into the hug with a huge sob at the words. It was her baby girl.

* * *

Alexandra "Ally" Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on Vera being in the collective unconscious. I tried hinting at it with the whole her consciousness not being in her body, so hopefully it isn't too much of a shock (see though, little snippets = big plot devices... Sometimes more important than the big ones...😏)
> 
> So Vera is going to have to make a choice...and seeing as it's already been about 41 hours since Amalie left her and she could return to her body...it's not looking great...sorry....I'm so sorry...


	107. Is She His?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews last chapter, my brain is a little scattered balancing two multichapter fics at the moment (what was I thinking?!) but keeping with my promise to not leave cliffhangers more than 2 days if I can help it, I forced this one out for you all.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN

Vera heard another stick snap behind Ally and pushed the girl behind her to protect her from one of her many enemies. Instead, what she found was what looked to be a four year old girl peeking out from behind the altar. Her blond wavy hair falling past her shoulders.

“She’s with me, she’s my friend.” Ally said making her way around Vera and picking up the little girl who hid against her chest. “Elena, I want you to meet my mom.” The little girl untucked her head just enough to do a once over of Vera before slipping her face back against Ally’s neck.

“Why are you so big now Ally? We can’t play when you’re big.” Vera’s heart melted as her daughter set the child down on the ground and knelt in front of her, the indignant pout on the girl’s face was just too adorable.

“We talked about this, remember? I have to keep my mom safe until she can return to her body. Then _after_ I can be small again and we can play more. I promise!” Ally looked over her shoulder and sent a small smile towards Vera.

“Come on, we can talk more when we’re not out in the open. We have the _best_ hang out, don’t we Elena?” Ally said as she lifted the girl again and waved for Vera to follow her. Vera couldn’t tell how long they walked, but the forest was dense around them now and she could see Ally was struggling to carry the girl but clearly wasn’t going to put her down.

“Do you want me to carry her for a bit?” She offered as Ally’s panting grew heavier and she hefted the girl up her hip again. Ally looked towards her hesitantly before looking at Elena.

“Are you sure? She’s a lot heavier than she looks.” She offered an out, sensing Vera’s hesitancy around children. When Vera nodded, Ally smiled widely and looked back at Elena.

“What do you say, huh? My mom is _so_ comfortable to sleep against. It’s like one big blanket of safety in her arms.” Vera smiled before she remembered what had happened. Ally immediately pulled Elena closer to her as her smile vanished from her face.

“It was an _accident_ mom! I don’t blame you and you really need to stop blaming yourself already.” Vera’s steps faltered at the glare she knew was a mirror of her own. Ally _was_ mad at her, but not because the girl wound up here. She was mad that Vera was still blaming herself.

“I’m working on it Ally. I am trying, really.” She offered a weak smile and watched as her daughter’s wide smile came back.

“So, Ms. Elena, ohhh look at me being all adult like!” Ally laughed and Vera’s grin spread across her face as that bubbly laughter she had missed for so long echoed off the trees.

“Anyways, how would Ms. Elena like to relieve her dear old friend’s tired arms and allow her friend’s much stronger mother carry her for a while?” Vera watched as the blond looked at her again before bringing her hand up to Ally’s ear.

Ally looked excited before a frown spread across her face. “No Elena, she’s still alive. No, I know, but she can’t stay with us.” Vera frowned as Ally’s look grew sadder and sadder before a wide smile spread across her face and she pulled back nodding enthusiastically.

“Elena said she would love to give my tired arms a break, but only on one condition.” Vera chuckled softly as both girls raised a brow in challenge as if to tell her that this was very serious business. A brief thought flashed through her mind at how similar they looked at with the movement. Vera watched as Elena looked at Ally hopefully only to frown when she saw the older girl shake her head slightly.

“My friend usually watches us play to make sure we’re safe, but since you came and I got the option to be an adult, I said I could look after both of us while she checked in on someone, but…”

“I would love to watch over you guys while you play.” Vera said with an honest desire and she watched as Elena smiled an almost familiar crooked smile as she held her arms out for Vera to grab her. The second her arms were free, Ally began shaking them out and jumping excitedly before freezing and snapping her attention to the left, smile wiped from her face.

“Not here, not safe yet. Come, quickly.” She whispered and began leading Vera further into the woods. Vera’s hand rubbed gently across Elena’s back as the girl began to yawn against her. She felt the girl tuck her face against her neck and breathe deeply and for some reason, she was reminded of Hamish.

Was it because over the past few days he has been populating her dreams and desires with the idea of their children? She felt Elena’s hand reach up before landing heavily against the center of Vera’s face.

“Your brain is loud. Trying to sleep.” She grumbled crankily tucking herself closer to Vera as her hand dropped back down and clutched her shirt collar.

“My apologies Ms. Elena, I will try to quiet my brain for you.” She mumbled with amusement and placed an unconscious gentle kiss to the blond locks. She felt the girl’s puffs of warm air across her neck as she gave into her slumber. Vera didn’t realize how much she missed having a child sleeping against her until this moment.

Vera watched as the dense woods cleared and a small cottage became visible. The second they were in the clearing Ally knelt and inspected something Vera couldn’t see with the girl in her arms before her tense posture changed and she became childlike as she twirled around quietly so she didn’t wake Elena.

Vera couldn’t stop smiling as she watched her little girl happily frolicking in the long grass. She watched as she picked a handful of small flowers before skipping back over and kissing her on the cheek.

“Come on, I’ll show you where you can put her down.” Vera followed Ally into the lovely cottage and found a room with two small beds with the names _Alexandra_ and _Elena_ carved above them. She walked over to Elena’s bed and carefully shifted her from her shoulder to the bed.

The girl had a tight grip on her shirt and as she tried to pull back a disgruntled noise came from the blond as she frowned in her sleep. Ally chuckled drawing Vera’s attention as she held up one finger. She grabbed a little stuffed wolf from Elena’s bed and rubbed it gently back and forth over the back of Elena’s fingers.

Vera smiled as Elena slowly shifted her grip to the wolf and released her shirt before she felt herself frowning. She looked towards Ally who was smiling happily up at her and her frown grew. She ushered her daughter out of the room shutting the door quietly behind her before turning Ally so she was facing her.

“That’s what I used to do with you. It was the only way to get you to let go.” Ally’s smile faltered slightly as she nodded. “Who is she?” She watched Ally’s head cock to the side slightly with a barely noticeable flinch.

“Her name is Elena, she’s my friend.”

“Elena _who_? What’s her last name?” Vera’s voice cracked slightly. That crooked smile, that knowing gaze, the nose. They were all _his_.

“She doesn’t have one…” Ally said sadly as Vera studied her before she asked her to elaborate. “She was never born. Her parents didn’t know about her and they weren’t married. She never got a last name.”

“But she had a first? How?” Vera asked as her breathing became more erratic.

“Her dad dreamt it.” She could see Ally shifting uncomfortably and Vera opened her mouth several times trying to force the question out. “Please don’t.” Ally begged just as she found her voice. Vera froze at the anguished face her daughter was making but couldn’t stop the question.

“Is she his?” Ally kept her eyes closed tight and Vera had her answer and released a choked cry. Vera looked around the room anxiously and saw a small frame facing away from her. She quickly made for it as her panic began to climb further. Elena’s eyes, her tired grumpiness, her pout, her sleepy grip…

 _‘No, no. It can’t be true, please no, not again_. _Please, not his baby._ ’ Vera begged over and over in her head as she moved towards the frame. Ally stayed where she was, watching as Vera clutched the frame and turned it to her.

There were three figures in the image. What she assumed was Ally as she normally appeared, Elena and an older woman. She was twenty-four, _maybe_ twenty-five and beautiful.

She had long, almost waist length vibrant red hair that had a slight wave to it and freckles splashed across her nose and cheeks. But the eyes were what allowed her to breathe slightly, they were similar to hers. Similar to the little girl that was sleeping in the other room.

She felt her panic beginning to slide away as she was able to pick up a few other similar features between the woman and the girl. She walked towards Ally with the frame as it shook slightly. She turned it towards her daughter and pointed to the woman.

“Is this Cassie?” She asked and watched as Ally nodded. The relief flushed into her as she sank into a chair with a sob. “Oh, thank god.” She breathed setting the frame on the table.

She didn’t realize she was shaking as a small form climbed into her lap and nuzzled against her neck and chest. Vera looked down at her daughter, no more than five years old now and pulled her into her arms tightly as she dropped her lips to the top of her head.

“I thought I lost another…I thought I lost his baby.” Vera breathed deeply trying to calm her tears as she rocked Ally back and forth. She didn’t notice Ally’s eyes were clenched shut nor the tears that were steadily falling from the girl.

They had originally agreed that they would tell Vera before she left, but Ally couldn’t add to her mother’s pain by telling her the truth. Better to let her continue believing that Elena was Cassie and Hamish’s unborn daughter.

She could barely handle _her_ death after nineteen years. Ally knew she couldn’t handle the loss of another child. Especially not his child.

* * *

Elena ("4 years old") and her Vera challenging brow imitation - While googling I saw that face and went yup, that's Vera right there...

Alexandra "Ally" Stone ("5 years old")

Cassie (24 years old)

Elena ('4 years old") & Alexandra "Ally" ("5 years old") - Basically the exact portrait Vera picks up, just insert Cassie behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...I'm so sorry 😭😭


	108. A Mother's Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am SO sorry for that little (huge) bomb last chapter...but we're getting some mother daughter bonding so that's nice, right?
> 
> Maybe spoiler alert in the next paragraph?
> 
> I stress, look for little completely innocent little things...it could be anything that may reveal a big hidden plot...just saying...(whether they're in last chapter, this chapter, next? Who knows?)
> 
> Hint, there's at LEAST one in last chapter and this chapter. 😏🤫🤫

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT

Vera continued to rock Ally in her arms until she felt the girl fall asleep against her chest. She had calmed now that she knew she hadn’t caused the death of another child. If it weren’t for the damn ring messing with her mind these past several days, she wouldn’t have let herself fall into the belief that it was even possible.

The barrier was still in place, Ishtar had proven that, even Adrian proved it. At the thought of Ishtar, she felt a tremor of fear rise in her at the thought of Hamish, Emilie and Fynn. But then Ally let out a little puff of air and a tiny sound against her neck and all other thoughts were gone.

She never believed she would ever get this again. Her baby girl was sleeping in her arms again and she was even more perfect than she remembered. She slowly stood from the chair, rubbing her hand in gentle motions across Ally’s back as she shifted in her sleep.

Vera swayed back and forth as she made her way through to the living room so she could lay down on the couch with her. She had just closed her eyes after laying down with Ally still sleeping against her chest when she felt it. Her body was calling to her.

Her grip tightened across Ally at the thought of leaving her. She looked down and saw the scrunched nose and a slight twitch of her lips as her baby dreamed and smiled softly. Vera brought her fingers up and gently brushed the raven strands off the girl’s check and behind her ears.

She couldn’t leave her. Not yet at least. She had promised them that she would watch over them as they played. She needed just a little more time with her. He would understand. The problem was, the longer she stayed, the more time she craved.

She heard little footfalls padding into the room a while later and looked up to see Elena breathing heavy as her fists rubbed into her eyes, stuffed wolf bunched under her arm. She felt her heart breaking at seeing the little girl crying. She may not be hers, but she was Hamish’s baby.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Vera asked quietly as she held her hand out for the girl.

“I had a bad dream.” She cried and Vera felt her face fall as Elena pulled one of her fists from her eyes and Vera saw the tear tracks as her lip trembled with pain. She shifted Ally slightly to make room and waved her hand slightly.

“Come here honey, there’s plenty of room.” Her voice was quiet and comforting as the girl watched her before more tears leaked from her eyes and she closed the distance. Vera only had one hand free to help her climb up, but they managed with a series of adorable little grunts from the blond.

Elena snuggled against her and Vera felt her take a deep breath once her nose pressed against her neck and she couldn’t help but smile. She brought her arm around the girl’s back and let her fingers gently trail over her arm. Elena’s hand was already clutching Vera’s shirt tightly again.

“Did your mommy ever tell you that your daddy does the same exact thing to calm himself down?” Vera asked and felt Elena shake her head. Odd, she thought, but maybe Hamish didn’t have that little quirk when he was with Cassie?

“Daddy doesn’t know about me.” Vera felt the pain lance through her at the teary response and dropped her lips to the girl’s locks. She was torn between alleviating some of this girl’s pain and telling Hamish about his unborn daughter when she returned and _never_ bringing it up to him so he wouldn’t have to know the pain of losing her.

“No, he doesn’t sweetheart. But I know that if he did know about you, he would love you _so_ much.”

“Like you love Ally?” She asked and Vera nodded as she looked down at her sleeping daughter.

“ _Just_ like that.” Vera still couldn’t believe this was real. She had her daughter back!

“Do you love daddy?” Elena asked around what sounded like her thumb and Vera’s finger’s faltered slightly before resuming their soothing pace on Elena’s arm.

“Very much so, yes.” She wasn’t sure if Elena would tell Cassie when she returned, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie to Hamish’s child. Cassie would just have to deal with it.

“As much as you love Ally?” This time Vera couldn’t force her fingers to continue their motions. How do you explain this for a child to understand?

“My love for your daddy is a different kind of love than my love for Ally. But yes, I believe I love them both just as deeply.”

“I wish my mommy loved me like that.” Vera was surprised by the fury that swept through her at the sad words. Was Cassie not caring for his daughter the way she should? She tried to respond to the little girl through her anger, but Ally’s strong voice cut her off.

“Your mommy loves you _so_ much more than you could possibly know Elena. She would do _anything_ for you.” Vera looked down and saw both girls had their fingers clasped together on her chest and found herself smiling. She had thought she was going to have to have a very stern talk with Hamish’s ex.

“Mommy, you have to go back now.” Ally said sadly and Vera felt both girls’ grips tighten on her shirt as fear coursed through her. She forced a smile as she met her daughter’s eyes.

“Not yet, honey. I promised to watch over you two when you played. Besides, Cassie isn’t back yet. I’m not going to leave you both here alone.” Vera said as she felt another sharp tug from her body trying to pull her back.

“She’s watching over daddy right now.” Panic rose withing her at Elena’s words.

“Is your daddy here? Did something happen to him? Is he okay?” She felt Ally’s hand land on her cheek and looked down to her calm smiling face.

“He’s not here, he’s just recovering from the ring’s effect right now. He’ll be okay, but she worries about him. We think that’s why I get to be big suddenly, to watch over you and Elena while Cassie watches over him.” Vera sagged back against the couch and pulled both girls closer to her while taking several calming breaths.

“Mommy, you _really_ need to go back…”

“I will Ally, in a bit.” She forced the words out at the agonizing thought of leaving. Not yet, she needed _just_ a little more time. She felt Ally sigh sadly against her but the girl stopped arguing.

“Can we play then?” Elena asked and Vera grinned down at both girls before nodding. Elena squirmed out of her grip and ran to get her shoes on, but Ally stood in front of Vera with a sad smile.

“You _can’t_ stay here mom, you made promises to…”

“I made a promise to watch you two play. That is what I’m doing right now.” Vera said as she brushed Ally’s hair behind her ears. Ally frowned and looked down at her hands.

“It’s only going to get harder for you to leave…”

“Where are your shoes?” Vera said with false cheerfulness as she started searching the immediate area.

“Mom…”

“Please Ally, please don’t ask me to leave you. Not yet. Just give me a little more time. Please.” Vera pleaded with her head bowed. Elena rushed back over with her boots on, but her laces weren’t tied.

Vera watched as she lifted one foot, but the lace was still trapped beneath her other and she started careening towards the floor. Vera rushed forward and just managed to catch her in time and carried her to the couch so she could tie her shoes.

She heard Ally sigh sadly again before she walked to get her own boots on. When she was finished with Elena’s laces, she helped the girl stand and watched her eagerly charge towards the door. Ally, in her nineteen year old body, reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could leave and sent a hard glare down at the girl.

“You know better Elena! Not without checking the perimeter first and _never_ without supervision.” Elena pouted and pointed her toe into the floor, twisting it back and forth as she apologized, her hands nervously squeezing her stuffed wolf. Vera frowned at the harsh scolding, but there was so much she didn’t know about this place that she didn’t feel it was her place to interfere.

“I’m going to check the perimeter; would you like to come? Elena will be safe in the house, no one would ever dare try to come in here.” She added as Vera turned concerned eyes to a sulking Elena. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Vera watched as Ally reached out and grabbed her hand before hauling her through the front door. They walked hand in hand around the clearing, Ally bending down occasionally to move some rocks around before continuing the circuit.

“Why aren’t you concerned with the house, but you are the clearing? What’s the difference?” Vera asked as they almost finished the loop. Ally looked up at her with a sly grin.

“That’s Cassie’s house, it’s protected. That and no one really wants to piss off the former leader of the knights by entering her home.”

“Wouldn’t they piss her off even more if they attacked her child?” Vera saw Ally freeze slightly before she continued walking.

“You can’t claim a section in the woods in this realm, just your home. If you’re caught outside at all, you are fair game to anyone who wishes to do you harm. If you’re killed here, your consciousness dies and you cease to exist, even if your body isn’t still alive.”

“Then shouldn’t you stay inside the house at all times? Is it safe to be out here with me? I have a lot of enemies Ally…” She saw the grin form on her daughter’s face again as she pulled her to a stop.

“Cassie isn’t the only former Knight that patrols the area. Elena is the daughter of the current leader of the Knights, they won’t let anything happen to her.”

“And what about you? Will they protect you?” Vera was happy Hamish’s daughter was protected, but what about hers?

“Cassie basically adopted me in and I’m Elena’s best friend. They won’t let anything happen to me either.” Vera looked at her with confusion and Ally was able to hear her mother’s question before she voiced it.

“Why does Cassie want to protect you? When she passed away, we were still at war, why is she protecting the daughter of her enemy?” Don’t mistake her question for ungratefulness. She was beyond thankful to Cassie for keeping her daughter safe, but she didn’t understand _why_.

“Because of Hamish. She knows that you are important to him, and by extension, I’m important to him so she looks out for me.” She saw the small smile climbing on Vera’s face at the explanation and could hear her mother thanking Hamish for making it possible that she had protection.

“I will have to thank her then.” Vera said and continued walking.

Ally wouldn’t tell her mother of the years she had spent on the run or just trying to scrape by as her consciousness grew until Cassie found her one day. She had known her mother met someone that cracked her walls but didn’t understand Cassie’s connection until the woman explained it.

Hamish was important to her, and because Hamish cared for Vera and wouldn’t want Vera hurt, Cassie had gone out of her way to find her and protect her. She had a home again because of the woman.

Cassie had two knights from her time as a Champion that helped watch her home when she would play. She could tell that despite her assurances to Cassie that she would be fine today that one had actually accompanied from afar when she’d gone to get her mother.

But the others from her time as Champion had refused to protect the offspring of the leader of the organization they had fought against. When Cassie summoned them again and explained Tundra had claimed Vera, one had actually tried to attack Ally right there and then in his fury.

In their opinion, both Hamish _and_ Tundra were traitors and should be ashamed of themselves. Her attempts at talks had died after that. The other four left with the promise that they had no qualms about killing Ally if they ever saw her unprotected. Would actively be waiting for the moment she let her guard down.

Cassie became a helicopter parent after that, never letting her out of her site and rarely sleeping even in the protected walls of their home. It was extremely hard to tell time here unless you monitored the living realm closely.

She believed it was a few months ago that the confrontation happened, but it felt like years sometimes and days others.

It wasn’t until her mom left the forest and got her magic back a few living realm days ago that things had changed drastically. Elena dropping into the collective unconscious when she did, had led to a series of stressful, emotional events that _finally_ allowed Cassie to be able to relax again.

She couldn’t help smiling as she remembered the encounter that happened that day, all because of her baby sister showing up.

* * *

Elena in her jammies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but that encounter will be coming next chapter.
> 
> So Elena dropped into the collective unconscious when Vera left the woods and got her magic back...Fynn was right on the money (back in chapter 70-72 I believe? ) Fuck you Fynn! (But not really, I love you too my sweet silent character that I forget about sometimes 😳)
> 
> I love Elena so much and Ally being the protective big sister who makes sure her baby sister is safe and knows how much her mom loves her. 🥰 I did try to show it here, but in case it wasn't clear, at least Ally can hear Vera's thoughts and likely Elena can too (remember last chapter she told Vera her brain was loud and she was trying to sleep)
> 
> And lastly, I just want to make it super clear as I've read a lot of takes on Cassie (including mine in Lost Memories - not how I usually see her), but knowing how Lilith is (super protective of her friends and innocents and really cares almost to a fault) and that Timber was both their wolves, I went the route of Cassie being almost selfless in that regard. She didn't steal Vera's (and Hamish's) daughters. She really is protecting them because she cares and for that I love her 🥰


	109. Mama Bear Protecting Cub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been waiting for this encounter for forever. Hope you enjoy it!!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND NINE

Cassie zeroed in on it the minute it started happening. She had quickly grabbed Ally from her bed, not bothering to dress her or throw the girl’s shoes on. It took Ally a few seconds to wake up as she jolted up and down in Cassie’s arms as the redhead ran out of the cottage, yelling in a panic for the others to hurry.

Ally didn’t think she’d ever seen Cassie run so fast or look so terrified as they ran towards the altar, the other two right behind her. They were fast, but they still took too long to arrive. They had burst into the clearing and Ally saw tears streaming from Cassie’s eyes as she charged towards the altar.

A fierce looking woman blocked her path to the crying girl with absolute fury on her face as an intimidating man held a sobbing Elena in his arms. Cassie had dropped to her knees and begged them not to hurt her as she cradled Ally to her chest, but they just looked shocked at the accusation before looking towards each other and towards the ground.

Cassie followed their gaze and looked to her side to see two of the previous champions she had spoken with. They had promised to kill Ally the second they had a chance and were currently lying dead on the ground before the adult’s feet.

These strange people had protected the girl. They had killed the two wolves that must have come to kill Elena. She knew they would have killed her too if she hadn’t dropped to her knees and made the plea.

The adults looked over Ally in her arms before looking at Elena and making the connection that they were sisters. The man holding Elena knelt down until he was almost eye level with Cassie and held his free arm across his chest, the woman that had blocked her path doing the same.

“We have been watching her development and are here to protect her from those who wish to harm her. Let us accompany you back to your home where we can talk more once the children are safe.” Cassie pulled Ally closer to her as she eyed the others. There was one other woman standing behind the altar that hadn’t knelt, but she was holding a sleeping girl in her arms.

“Please, we mean you no harm child. Elena and…Alexandra…?”

“She prefers Ally.” Cassie interrupted the man as she looked at the little blond girl in his arms, face shoved into her stuffed wolf as she cried with heaving breaths.

“Elena and Ally need to rest. So could she to be honest.” He smiled softly while tilting his head and jabbing his thumb towards the sleeping girl in the woman’s arms. Cassie stood slowly and pulled Ally closer to her before nodding hesitantly.

“Very well, this way.” Her two allies had fallen in behind her to protect her and Ally just in case the other three decided to attack them from behind. They would give her and Ally a chance to escape. No attack had come, and Cassie had allowed the man and woman holding the two girls to follow her into her house to lay them down.

Cassie hadn’t let Ally listen to the conversation that took place outside the cottage, but she knew they now had three more allies, two of them exceedingly powerful. And one of the two was always near their home to ensure their safety.

* * *

Vera watched her daughter play with a few more stones and finally took a closer look at what she was doing. Ally was leaving a message with the stones saying she was back and had invited company. Vera was happy her daughter was being taken care of, but it hurt to know Cassie was more of a mother to her than she was.

“ _You’re_ my mom. Cassie is like a protective Aunt.” Ally said and Vera cringed again. She had to control her thoughts better. “Good luck with that. You could probably do pretty well at it with anyone you aren’t related to though. You’ve certainly practiced pushing people away enough that your barriers are strong.”

Vera felt the chastisement and almost flushed. Ally raised her brow as if challenging Vera to try to lie to her.

“I _am_ trying Ally.” She thought about Hamish, Emilie and Fynn again and felt a sharp tug from her body. She was doing better, Hamish was almost completely past her barriers, same with Emilie. Fynn wasn’t as determined to break through as the two wolves, but even he had snuck in and settled.

Ally smiled and nodded in agreement before looking around once more and yelled to Elena that it was safe. Vera turned at the peel of screamed laughter as Elena tore from the house and literally _threw_ herself airborne and collided with a five year old Ally.

She heard herself laughing along as the two girls rolled around on the ground before Ally initiated a game of tag. Ally’s screech of joy broke from her as she used Vera as a shield from the blond’s hand.

Elena looked up at her with bright eyes and that perfect crooked smile before slapping her hand on Vera’s hip before uttering _‘tag, you’re it!’_ and charging away from her. Vera turned with a chuckle and went to tag Ally, but the girl was already running away from her with laughter.

Vera slid out of her impractical footwear and began chasing after the two girls for what felt like hours before they both ‘tackled’ her and began tickling her until she begged for mercy. They collapsed on either side of her and the three tried to catch their breath between their subsiding laughs.

Vera felt another tug from her body and frowned as she shook her head and pulled the girls closer. She felt Ally’s head shift on her shoulder and looked down to see her sad eyes watching her.

“Just a little longer.”

“Mom…”

Ally’s response was immediately cut off by Elena’s scream as she jumped up and began charging towards the edge of the clearing. Vera was already shoving herself off the ground to pursue the girl, but Ally had shifted into her adult form and was faster.

Vera watched as a tall, muscular man with an intense look and wavy hair past his shoulders stepped out of the clearing and began making his way towards Elena. She panicked as the man knelt down and tried to throw a firebolt, but nothing happened.

“It’s okay mom! He’s a friend!” Ally shouted as she continued running. Vera looked back and saw the man had lifted Elena and thrown her slightly into the air before catching her. The girl’s laughter was boisterous as she began playing with his hair and chatting excitedly to the man who eyed Vera with a hard look.

Vera froze as another figure exited the woods carrying a little girl with bright red hair. The site of her just sent more excitement flooding through Elena as she squirmed to get down from the man and play. She brought her attention back to the hard man and saw Ally was talking quickly to him with wild hand motions as she kept glancing back towards her.

The ice melted from her veins as the man gave a half smile while slinging his arm around Ally and pulled her to his side before pulling back and ruffling her hair. He ushered her towards the other two girls and Vera watched as she became that excited five year old again.

Vera watched as the man began to approach with the woman who continued to keep a watchful eye on the three children. When he got close enough, he held out his hand for her to shake. She eyed him hesitantly before looking towards the laughing girls.

“We’re not going to hurt you or your daughter, I promise.” The man said and Vera looked back to see his hand still outstretched. She reached forward and shook the hand firmly to which he gave an amused smile.

“Vera, and you are?” She asked while shaking the woman’s hand.

“Marsh, my sister-in-law Anise and my little girl over there is Sarene…”

“Are you some of Cassie’s knights?” Vera interrupted immediately. Her daughter had just mentioned other knight’s watching over her, she needed to make sure these two weren’t a threat.

“We were Knight’s, but we aren’t Cassie’s. She came long after us…”

“But you watch over my daughter, correct? Why?” Cassie, she could understand. Knight’s that knew Cassie as their leader, she understood. Why did two knights that came before Cassie care about her child?

“Yes, we do. Our reason’s for protecting Ally and Elena are our own, however. Perhaps one day you will understand why, but for now just know _both_ Ally and Elena are safe and under our protection. There are few who would threaten two of our age.” Vera bit her lip as she contemplated the response. She didn’t understand the reasoning, but she could sense the truth in his words and nodded in thanks.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you by the way. Ally has told us all about you, although you really shouldn’t be here any longer.” Vera flinched at the reminder and felt another pull from her body.

“I know. I just wanted a little longer with her.” She looked at Ally smiling widely as Sarene and Elena played with their toys, and a soft smile spread across her own face. Her daughter was happy here. She had friends, a whole life here.

“Vera, you can’t stay here any longer. You _need_ to leave.” The man begged and she frowned as she looked back at him. Why did he care so much? She looked back as another peel of laughter tore from the girls.

“I don’t want to leave. Not yet at least.” Elena looked up at her and gave that same crooked grin as she held up the two toys for her to see, her stuffed wolf and Sarene’s, well it looked like a very old baby doll. She began moving towards the girls but felt Marsh grab her arm and pull her back.

“I know _exactly_ what you’re going through Vera. I lost my wife and child in the same day, but I fought to keep living because I promised her I would. Being reunited with them was my reward for keeping that promise. _You_ also made a promise, you _can’t_ stay here…”

“I _won’t_ , I just want a little more time. He’ll understand…”

“There will _never_ be enough time Vera. You will _always_ want more…”

“I’m _not_ leaving her. Not yet.” Vera ground out as she jerked her arm out of the man’s grip and called for Ally to come to her. She watched Ally look behind her towards Marsh before deflating and allowed Vera to pick her up and cradle her to her chest.

“You have to return Vera, he needs you…” Marsh tried once more as Vera started walking away. The woman turned cold eyes to the man.

“ _She_ needs me, and _I_ need her right now. He will wait for me, he’ll understand.” Vera growled as Ally began to cry softly against Vera’s neck. She should’ve known Vera wouldn’t be able to pull herself away from her.

“To be honest with you Anise, I don’t think I would’ve been able to leave either if I was put in her situation. Surviving was one thing and Midnight did that for me. If I was given Azure and Sarene back then, I wouldn’t have looked back. We’re asking her to give up her daughter.” Marsh said sadly after Vera slammed the door of the cottage.

“Hamish and Tundra won’t survive if they lose her like this Marsh, you know that. We have to get her to go back.” Anise said watching the woman rock one of her daughter’s through the cottage window. They knew Ally had been right to keep Elena’s true lineage hidden.

Vera didn’t even know Elena was her daughter as well and she wanted to stay. If she knew, there would be no convincing her to leave. Marsh looked to Anise with a smirk.

“That’s where Cassie comes in. She’s the only one that has a connection with Hamish anywhere close to the one Vera has.” Anise grinned and nodded. Cassie could be _very_ convincing when she needed to be. When they had negotiated, it was their original plan to take both Ally and Elena with them, but somehow, they found themselves conceding to her will.

“We need to tell the girls to ensure Elena’s lineage stays secret.” She added sadly and Marsh nodded as they walked over and sat down in front of them. Elena nodded as they stressed the importance she not let Vera know she was her daughter, but she couldn’t stop herself from sobbing.

“But then she’ll never love me because she’ll never know about me.” Anise pulled the crying girl into her arms and soothed her hand over her back.

“Oh no sweetie, she already loves you so, so much. She senses it, even if she can’t let herself believe it. She promised your daddy that she wouldn’t give up and keeping that promise, leaving both you and your sister is going to be the hardest promise to keep she will ever have to face.”

“She can’t stay with me and Ally because daddy needs her?” She was still so young conscious wise, but she understood so much sometimes.

“Yes honey, your daddy needs your mommy to come back to him. If your mommy knew she had two daughters and that both were here, she would never be able to return to your daddy.”

“And that will make daddy really sad. I don’t want daddy to be sad.” Giant tears were rolling down her face now as her lip trembled.

“We know you don’t Elena. You are so very strong, you know that right?” Marsh added as he mused her hair and she tried to him a weak watery smile, but it came out in a choked sob.

“Elena? Can you come in here please?” Vera called from the doorway with a false smile. Marsh and Anise turned to look at her and when she saw them looking, she sent a cold glare their way before turning her attention back towards Elena with a smile.

“See squirt, she may not let herself know consciously, but subconsciously she knows you’re her baby girl. And she is in full mama bear mode because she thinks we’re the reason you’re crying.” He looked back over his shoulder and saw a _very_ angry Vera storming over towards them when Anise didn’t let go of Elena fast enough for her liking.

“Uh oh, mama bear protecting cub incoming, looks like we’ll have to come back later champ.” Marsh whispered with a grin as he pulled Elena out of Anise’s grip and placed her behind them. Vera immediately scooped her up and cradled her head against her shoulder.

“I’d like you both to leave, immediately.” She growled threateningly while somehow still appearing soft as she swayed gently in an attempt to soothe the crying child in her arms.

“We meant no harm. Tell Cassie we stopped by if you’re still around when she gets back, though I pray you aren’t.” Vera continued to glare at them until they left the clearing before she started back towards the house.

“You’re okay, sweetie, I’ve got you. Do you want to come color with Ally and me?” She asked and felt the girl nod against her neck and smiled. “Good, because we’d like that too.” She gave a quick kiss to the girl’s head and felt her breathe deeply again as her sobs finally started subsiding.

* * *

Marsh - Midnight's Champion

* * *

Azure - Marsh's wife

* * *

Sarene - Marsh and Azure's daughter

* * *

Anise - Azure's sister - Timber's Champion

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Elena. 😭😭😭😭
> 
> Marsh got his happy ending and got to reunite with his wife, daughter and sister in law! 🥰🥰
> 
> No, don't worry, I promise this is NOT the happy ending I have in store for Vermish (the thought did occur to me (just as a little 'wouldn't that be interesting' not a real thought). I promise a family reunion/life in the collective unconscious is NOT the ending I have in store for all of us 😂)


	110. A Devastating Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! Balancing two stories is getting a little bit harder than anticipated. This one is a tissue chapter... 
> 
> Kscythe asked why it was taking Cassie so long to return and it made me realize that I never really explained my thought process on the Collective Unconscious in the story at all but it might be important (not positive yet) so I was scrambling to try and fit it in...I wasn't very successful, so here's my response for those interested.
> 
> Basically I picture there being 4 separate levels of consciousness;
> 
> Living realm - only those that are alive can access it
> 
> Dreams/normal sleep or normal unconsciousness (example: falling and hitting your head) - again, only those alive can access it
> 
> Forced unconscious - (Hamish and Emilie after the ring attacked them/or a magical sleep) - I see this as dead can penetrate because the magic links the realms. But, only if the one in the collective unconscious goes to a certain place in the collective unconscious (in my world, it would be a Temple) that can breach the veil, but it's only possible in there, no where else in the collective unconscious. And the living person doesn't remember them being there with them. It's mostly to protect their mind from something else potentially entering it. So the entire time Hamish was unconscious, Cassie was in the Temple in his mind looking out for him. 
> 
> Collective unconscious - Dead (Like Cassie) / Dying (like Jack was) /consciousness forced from your body from another being (Vera right now and Gabrielle in the show). Those that reside there are basically living actual lives. They can watch over the living realm from anywhere if they choose to focus. They're not all knowing unless they actually focus and It's not always a guarantee they know everything. Some magic may block their ability or maybe no one in the living realm knows what they're looking for. They also don't know everything about the collective unconscious, specifically the other beings 'living' there and their motives. And lastly, they cannot teleport around the collective unconscious unless a living realm person manipulates it (like Jack did)

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TEN

“ _ALEXANDRA_! You forgot to arrange the stones back when your mom left. You _know_ how dangerous that it! Do you know what could’ve happened if someone snuck in? Marsh and the others would have thought they were a friend and then you and your si…”

“CASSIE! You’re home!” Ally shouted over Cassie’s words as she jumped up from where she was coloring and ran to greet the woman. Vera watched her daughter’s enthusiasm with a small smile, but she did _not_ like the tone the other woman was using to address her child.

She looked down to where Elena was sitting in her lap still coloring and frowned slightly. “Don’t you want to see your mom honey?” She asked brushing her curls behind her ear to see her focused face. God she was adorable. Her brows were furrowed, and her tongue was sticking out between her lips as she _tried_ to color in the lines.

Elena nodded and looked up at her with the crooked grin Vera loved so much before returning to her picture. Why was _her_ daughter more excited to see Cassie than the woman’s own daughter? _Elena doesn’t think her mother loves her._ She reminded herself and scowled further.

“You have GOT to be _kidding_ me!” Vera’s attention snapped back at the exclamation and felt her anger rise. She watched as an equally angry redhead turned the corner and glared at her.

“Why the _fuck_ are you still here?!” She growled and Vera’s glare darkened dangerously as she saw Ally behind the woman looking scared. She felt Elena tense in her lap and looked down to see the blond was also frightened. “Ally, Elena, go to you room. _NOW_!” Cassie growled out harshly pulling Vera’s glare back to her own again.

Vera watched as Ally looked between both of them as tears started to fill her eyes. She heard Elena sniffle quietly as she stood from her lap and just barely stopped herself from lashing out in fury. Vera stood quickly and picked Elena up while keeping her fury filled eyes on Cassie.

“How _dare_ you?!” She finally spoke and she felt Elena hide her face against her neck with a small sob.

“How dare _I_?! No, how dare _you_!” Cassie barked back and dropped her hand to the side, stopping Ally from walking towards Vera.

“Get your hands _off_ my daughter!” Elena started to cry harder against her neck which only fueled Vera’s rage until she heard the quiet almost desperate cry from her.

“I want daddy!” Immediately the fight left both women at the broken cry. Vera closed her eyes against the pain and cradled Elena’s head against her, kissing her blond curls as she gently rocked the sobbing child.

“I’m know you do sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Cassie said approaching with tears in her own eyes. Vera watched her cautiously as she approached. Even though Elena was Cassie’s daughter, she was also Hamish’s. If Cassie wasn’t treating her right, she would take both girls from her.

“Can you and Ally please go to your room so I can talk to daddy’s girlfriend?” Vera flinched at the word. They never actually defined _what_ they were and hearing herself being referred to as his girlfriend, especially by his _ex-_ girlfriend somewhat unsettled her.

She watched as Cassie’s gaze jumped to her and turned hard before refocusing on the girl in her arms. Elena pulled back with tears still streaming down her face and looked at Cassie before looking up at Vera with hesitation.

“Only if you want to sweetie.” Vera promised bringing a hand up to sweep her hair off her damp cheek. She nodded slowly and Vera walked past Cassie with a cold glare. “Ally, honey, what about you?” Her fingers repeated the same motion with Ally’s hair as the girl nodded and grabbed Vera’s hand.

Vera tucked both girls into Ally’s bed at their insistence and kissed both their foreheads before turning off the light and shutting the door. She took a deep breath to keep herself from killing the other woman before striding into the living room. Cassie was pacing with her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.

“Is this how your treat my daughter all the time? Is that why your daughter doesn’t think her own mother loves her? They’re _children,_ what the fuck is wrong with you!?” Cassie’s glare filled with anger and disbelief.

“You have got to be joking right now. _Everything_ I do is to keep those girls safe! You obviously have no idea what you’re talking about…”

“She’s my daughter! And in the span of a few minutes, you frightened her, made her cry and blocked her from getting to her mother.” Vera growled taking several steps forward.

“I was _helping_ her! She knows you can’t stay, but she saw you were upset and wanted to comfort you. She can hear your thoughts Vera, _you’re_ the one upsetting her!” Cassie growled taking two steps towards Vera before turning around again and running her hand through her thick locks.

“I _never_ should have agreed to her collecting you. I should have been the one to watch over you instead of making the journey to the Temple to watch over him. We _knew_ this could be an issue. Tell me, how many times has she told you that you needed to leave?” Cassie asked suddenly and Vera flinched as she felt another pull from her body. They had been getting weaker and weaker and Ally looked more upset each time she refused to leave.

“You _can’t_ stay here, Vera…”

“I can’t leave them. Not until I know they’re safe from you…”

“ _From me?!”_ Cassie’s disbelieving laugh was accompanied by her hand scrubbing over her face before she glared back at Vera. “I see them _both_ as if they were my children, I would _never_ harm either one of them!”

“Ally is _my_ child…”

“And she _chose_ to live with me in the afterlife. I don’t keep them prisoner, I protect them and give them a happy life until they can be reunited with their parents when the time comes…”

“And I’m her parent!” Cassie growled as she threw her hands up in frustration. Why did Hamish and Tundra have to claim such a stubborn woman?!

“It’s _not_ your time!” She shouted and Vera saw tears forming in the woman’s eyes as all the fight flowed out of her. “If you choose to stay here, you will kill him.”

“No, he promised me that he’d survive…”

“AND YOU PROMISED HIM YOU WOULDN’T GIVE UP!” She shouted desperately with tears leaking from her eyes. “Staying here _is_ giving up Vera.” She continued softer, almost defeatedly and Vera felt another tug as her terror climbed.

“He won’t know though. He won’t know that I gave up. I can stay and he will just believe…” Cassie lifted her gaze to look at her with a shake of her head.

“He knows you’re here. He suspects you found Ally and he heard you say that you didn’t _want_ to return. Pieces of your conversations have been getting through.” Vera shook her head in denial as she started pacing, her eyes beginning to water at the choices she had.

“But he would understand…If he knows that I found her, that I’m with Ally he would understand if I didn’t return…”

“He would.” Cassie agreed without argument. “It doesn’t mean that it won’t completely destroy him though.” Vera looked down at the young woman who looked like a shell of the woman that had rounded the corner a short time ago.

“All of the dead come here right…?” Cassie’s glare turned hard and angry and immediately Vera felt horrible for that line of desperate thinking.

“I’m sorry, please, you have to know that I don’t want that. I would never want that.” She apologized as she felt the pain at imagining Hamish winding up here because he couldn’t survive without her.

“Even if we were to entertain that _horrid_ thought, it wouldn’t work. Reuniting with loved ones is a _reward_. You earned that right by risking your life to save the world. If he kills himself, either by his own hand or by being purposefully reckless like he was after I died, this world will keep him from his loved ones forever. You would _never_ see him again. Elena would _never_ get to meet her father. Are you going to explain that to her?”

The tears were falling freely from Vera’s eyes as she sank against the wall. Cassie moved to sit next to her but knew enough about Vera to not try and touch her.

“I know it’s hard to leave her Vera, but you have to. You have to keep your promise to him. It’s already been over _four days_ since Ishtar was banished. He hasn’t left your side for anything and he won’t until you wake up.”

“I know.” Vera let out a choked sob as she dropped her head into her knees. She wanted to stay, more than anything she wanted to be selfish and stay with Ally and Elena. But she couldn’t risk him never getting to see her again. Never getting to meet his daughter. And she definitely couldn’t risk Elena never getting to meet her father.

“I do have one small request if you find a chance.” Vera turned her head to see the hesitancy on Cassie’s face. “Will you tell him about Elena and me?” Vera opened and closed her mouth several times before Cassie placed her hand on her arm and gave a gently squeeze.

“Only if the moment seems right. He’ll want to know Vera; he _needs_ to know. Trust me on this one.” Cassie would play along with the charade that Elena was hers if it ensured Vera returned to Hamish, but she wouldn’t let Vera live her life not knowing Elena was hers.

Not only was it not fair to deny Elena feeling the love from her parents, but it wouldn’t be fair to Hamish and Vera. They needed to know about Elena and the possibility of having those kids they both desperately wanted in the future.

“I can’t promise you that. He…recently he thought I was pregnant even though we both knew it was impossible. When he thought I lost the baby…he was devastated…” Vera broke off as that memory flooded through her again.

“Fourteen days ago, when you left the Forest, I know.” Cassie whispered sadly and drew Vera’s attention back to her. She looked down towards her hands and took a deep breath before meeting Vera’s eyes again with a sad smile.

“I know he’s moved on with you and I am honestly _so_ happy and relieved to see that, but I do still care a great deal about him. I look after him, even if I can’t do much other than look after those departed that he would care about.” It was true, it was how she had known to head for the altar when Elena came through.

“I can’t thank you enough for keeping my daughter safe, but if you’re watching over him then you know it would crush him to know that he lost a baby he never knew about.” Cassie flinched and looked towards her lap again. It would crush them both, but they deserved to know. Elena deserved to be able to _feel_ their love like Ally could feel Vera’s. She squeezed her arm comfortingly before pulling it back to rest in her lap.

“You need to trust me on this one Vera. If the opportunity to bring her up ever arises, he will want to know. I promise you this just as I promise to continue looking after both of those perfect girls in the other room until you and Hamish make your way here when your time _actually_ comes.”

“Do I have enough time left to say goodbye to them?” Cassie teared up again at the agony in Vera’s face and voice as she nodded. She watched Vera push herself up with tears pouring down her face as she slowly made her way towards the girls’ room.

Both girls were already sitting on Ally’s bed when she walked in and both were crying heavily. Ally’s arms wrapped tightly around Elena as the younger girl sobbed into her stuff wolf. They both already knew.

“Mommy has to go now, I’m so sorry.” She fell heavily to her knees before the girls and wrapped her arms around both of them as she brought both their heads to her shoulders and sobbed. She felt Ally’s hand in her hair as her daughter tried to calm her, but Vera just cried harder.

“It’s okay mommy, really. You’ll be back one day. And when you come back for me, Elena will be here to. You’ll get to see both of us again one day, I promise.” Ally cried as she wiped Vera’s tears away. “I love you _so_ much mommy.”

“I love you too.” Elena sobbed into her neck and it didn’t seem weird to hear the blond saying those words. She felt as if she’d spent a lifetime with these girls while also feeling like only minutes had passed. She felt Elena pull back slightly and looked down to see her holding her wolf up to her.

“I want you to have him, so you’ll remember me.” Through her tears Vera watched Ally’s eyes widen, but most of her attention was on the crying blond at the moment. She forced a smile on her face and pushed the white wolf back against Elena’s chest before brushing her blond locks behind her ears.

“No sweetie, I want you to keep him to remember me, okay? I will never forget you honey. I love both of you with all my heart and will miss you both so much.” Vera felt the pull again and another sob slipped from her as she leaned in and kissed both their foreheads.

“It’s okay mommy, you can go now.” Ally said through her tears as she pulled Elena into her arms again. Vera felt them slipping through her fingers as she was pulled away from them. When they slipped completely from her, the only sound she heard in the swirling void between the realms was her scream of agony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may have been one of the rougher chapters to write, it's so sad. Next chapter won't be all happy go lucky, but we are on the upward climb now from sadville. And Vera is returning to Hamish, after 4 days (so Hamish would have been awake for just over 2). And Cassie seems to believe she laid the groundwork for Vera to find out Elena was hers, it's just up to Vera telling Hamish about her...which she's not sure about doing.


	111. Back With The Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - talk of attempted suicide/reasoning
> 
> Thank you everyone for the reviews last chapter, I LOVE hearing your thoughts and theories :)
> 
> Side note: WereKitte requested I add titles to chapters to make it easier to go back and find certain things and honestly I've been considering it so I'll slowly be rolling that out...just keep in mind I am AWFUL with coming up with them so they'll probably suck but eh, whatever. And if anyone has any suggestions for past chapters, please throw them at me!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN

Vera’s eyes snapped opened as she heard the agonized scream piercing the silence. It took several seconds to realize it was her, and even longer to force herself to stop. She could hear the commotion in the room telling her there were others around her, but she didn’t care. She pulled herself into a ball on her side, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she sobbed.

She felt her head gently being pushed away from her chest and heard Hamish pleading with her to open her eyes. Hamish, she had come back for him, she wanted to see his loving eyes looking back at her. He would be able to help her through the pain tearing her apart right now.

But the second her eyes landed on him, fury like nothing she’d ever experienced before swept through her like a wildfire. _He_ was the reason she had to leave her baby. _He_ took her away from her. _He_ made her abandon her! _Both_ of them!

“Get _away_ from me!” She growled and shoved him away from her. He landed on his backside in pained confusion.

“Vera? What’s wrong, what happened?” Blind hatred flowed from her at Hamish’s question and without realizing what she was doing in her rage, she lifted her hand and sent a bolt of fire towards him. Adrian blocked it quickly, but her glare stayed fixed on Hamish.

“I _hate_ you!” Her words were dripping with malice that matched her glare. A sick thrill ran through her as his face dropped in agony and his eyes became wet.

 _“Vera!_ That’s _enough!”_ She heard the angry reprimand from coming from behind her but couldn’t pull her hate filled gaze away from Hamish on the ground. She _wanted_ him to feel the pain he put her through. She lost her baby, _again,_ and it was all his fault.

“Get _out_!” She spat and she watched as tears fell from his tired eyes before Adrian and Fynn helped him stand and escorted him from the room. As soon as he was out of sight, the sudden anger washed away from her and she curled in on herself again, lost to her misery.

“Vera?” Emilie asked as she hesitantly placed her hand on Vera’s upper arm. “Do you want me…should I go too?” Vera shook her head as the tears continued to fall. She felt Emilie climb over her before laying down directly in front of her.

Emilie gently brushed Vera’s hair over her shoulder before wiping her tears away, but the gesture just caused her tears to fall harder as she remembered Ally doing the same thing just moments ago. She pulled Vera’s head against her chest as her fingers thread through her freshly washed hair, thanks to Hamish’s insistence on caring for her while she was unconscious.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Emilie asked quietly when Vera’s sobs became sniffles.

“I…I wanted to stay with her, Emilie. I was _so_ happy there. I didn’t want to come back, I wanted to stay!” Vera heard Emilie’s choked cry as she was pulled in tighter to the blonde’s chest.

“You blame him, don’t you? You would have stayed with your baby if it weren’t for him and now you blame him for taking you away from her.” Vera cried into her chest as she nodded. “Oh, Vera…”

“I didn’t know until I saw him. I came back so he wouldn’t kill himself but…I _wanted_ to stay.”

“I know, but Vera, you tried to kill him. You left your daughter and returned to keep him alive and the very first thing you do is attack him and tell him that you hate him? You wouldn’t have left your daughter to save him if that were true. You don’t hate him Vera, you’re grieving and trying to find an outlet to channel that grief.”

“I know.” Vera whispered, she had just wanted to return to Ally and Elena so badly. She still did.

“Will you tell me about her?” Emilie felt Vera tense in her arms before relaxing against her and telling her all about her time with Ally in the collective unconscious. She left out everyone else besides Ally, referring to Elena as a friend she’d made but never mentioning her name or who her parents were. She couldn’t risk Hamish finding out about his daughter or Cassie from anyone other than her.

She talked for hours and had even started to tell her about what Ally was like as a baby and stories that involved her old neighbors, Ally’s godparents. The pain slowly began to ease, and she felt her anger dissipate mostly as Emilie listened. By the time she finished, her throat was raw from crying and talking and her head was pounding, but she felt lighter. Less desperate to find some way to return to the two girls.

They stayed silent for several minutes and Vera felt herself beginning to drift off under the girl’s soothing caress in her hair. She cleared her throat quietly and opened her mouth several times before she could form words through the haze of exhaustion.

“Can you tell Hamish that I’m sorry?” Her words were slurred slightly with fatigue and she couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes.

“Vera, _you_ need to be the one to tell him that.” Emilie rebuffed, displeased with the request.

“I know, I will. I’m just tired.” Her words started coming slower as she tried to force herself to stay awake. “I don’t want him to continue thinking I hate him any longer. I want to…wake up beside…” Emilie waited for the rest of the sentence, but when it never came, she realized Vera had fallen asleep.

She knew the woman was hurting, but she was so happy she was back with them. They had started to lose hope as the fourth day started to come to an end and they had kept catching _‘Not yet’_ from her _._ None of it was as bad as when she’d uttered those two phrases so close together; _‘I can’t leave’_ and _‘He would understand’_.

Hamish had pleaded with her as tears ran down his face, begging her to come back. But his pleas and desperate kisses were left unanswered. As the hours continued to drift by in silence since that last phrase, all of them felt themselves getting dragged down by despair.

Hamish walked in a few minutes after Vera fell asleep and Emilie looked up to see the devastation on his face. “She wanted me to tell you…”

“I heard.” He croaked sadly as he slowly walked closer. He watched Emilie cock her head in confusion. “Adrian removed the barrier in the other room, it’s back up now. He said that I needed to hear and understand so that I would be able help…” He broke off as her anguished admission of blame towards him ran through his mind again and stole his breath.

“Hamish, she’s hurting, she didn’t mean what she said. You heard her say that she doesn’t hate you…” Emilie tried to ease his pain.

“She might not hate me Em, but she does blame me for taking her away from her daughter. And she’s not wrong…” That was the hardest part. She knew that he wouldn’t have survived, possibly would have succumbed to grief and taken his own life or stupidly sacrificed it by being reckless. The only reason she came back was to prevent that. She had to leave her daughter because she knew he couldn’t bear her loss.

“Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I’m _glad_ she knew you couldn’t survive without her. She would have given up, Hamish…”

“She would have stayed with her daughter…”

“Same thing as killing herself in my opinion.” Emilie said harshly, earning a disproving look from Hamish.

“Emilie! It’s _not_ the same thing…”

“It’s the _exact_ same thing!” She growled in challenge. “She _knew_ she could return, knew that she was _supposed_ to return. She _knew_ there were people _here_ waiting for her. _Living_ people! People she _knows_ love her. And _still_ she was going to end her life.

“Yes, she was reunited with her daughter, but that’s _not_ an excuse Hamish! She _wasn’t_ dying and fighting to survive. She was fighting the pull to return from that place. She was _trying_ to kill herself so she could stay! She didn’t want to deal with the pain of living without her daughter anymore, so she was trying to end it!”

Emilie had started crying as her voice rose with her anger and Hamish realized Emilie understood what she was talking about on some level. He took a step forward unconsciously and reached a hand out as if to comfort her, but she shook her head violently and shied away from the touch.

“Emilie…” He wasn’t sure what he had planned to say to soothe the girl’s pain, but they both froze when they heard another voice.

“I’m sorry, Emilie.” Vera whispered quietly and Emilie’s horror filled eyes looked down towards the woman to see tears in her blue-grey eyes.

“I didn’t mean…You weren’t supposed to hear that. I’m so sorry.” Emilie closed her eyes tightly, wishing she could take the words back. She knew her words were harsh, but this hit way too close to home. She had almost succeeded in killing herself because she didn’t grasp the full concept in her depression that people needed her, _loved_ her.

Yes, she had finally made the choice to end her life because she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting anyone else, but there _was_ a selfish nature to it. When the haze of the pills had taken over and she felt the fear building in her, she had _almost_ called out for Fynn to get help.

She stopped herself at the last minute because she felt the pain that sha had been living with for the past year _finally_ beginning to numb. She just wanted to be done feeling their loss so deeply, she wanted to find them in the afterlife.

“No, you’re right Emilie. I didn’t let myself think about what I was actually doing until the end as I desperately argued to stay, but I knew. Every time I felt the pull from my body, I felt it growing weaker. Subconsciously, I knew I was dying by fighting to stay.” She reached up and brushed a tear from the blonde’s face.

“You are wrong about one thing though. I wasn’t trying to end the pain of my life. I was trying to expand the joy I had found. I wasn’t trying to escape my life here in a desperate search to find her. I was actually _with_ her. I had to choose to give her up to return and that _wasn’t_ something I could bring myself to do. Even if it meant giving up on life.”

Vera saw Hamish’s hurt expression, but knew he was wearing it because he hurt _for her_ not because of her. She smiled sadly that she was correct in her assessment. He _would_ have understood but it was also clear that it would have crushed him.

“But you did return, because of Hamish.” Emilie said quickly and she knew that deep down that it was a desperate plea to ensure Vera wasn’t thinking about killing herself again.

“Because someone made me realize that I was still needed here…”

“Cassie?” Hamish asked quietly and Vera met his eyes in surprise. “We couldn’t think of anyone else you would talk with. But Cassie…well, she’s as stubborn as you are and has that same ability you have of making people see things your way.”

He had a fond smile on his face and Vera remembered that it was because of him that Cassie was protecting her daughter. Vera couldn’t bring herself to tell him about Elena, not yet at least, but she needed to tell him about Cassie and Ally at least.

“Emilie, do you mind giving us a few minutes?” She asked quietly and watched the girl nod, giving Hamish’s hand a squeeze as she passed him. Vera watched as he stayed where he was, almost as if he was frightened that she was going to attack him again and she frowned deeply as she pat the bed beside her.

“Are you sure Vera?” She wanted to hate herself for making him doubt himself, but a small part of her was still hurting because of him. It was an almost silent whisper as he looked at her with that knowing gaze, or the hint of a smile he had just been wearing.

Every time she saw them, it sent the image of Elena through her mind and caused a stab of pain at being parted from the blond girl. Why did the loss of another woman’s child hurt _so_ much?

“Please Hamish, come here.” She patted the bed again as she shoved the pain down. He crawled in beside her, but carefully. He made sure he wasn’t touching her at all and stayed completely rigid beside her. Waiting for her to lash out at him.

“I’m sorry Hamish.” She saw him open his mouth but held up her hand so she could try to find the right words. “I _don’t_ hate you.” She paused as she met his sad eyes and Elena’s sad eyes flashed before her causing her breath to catch.

“But you _do_ blame me for having to give her up.” She closed her eyes at the pain lacing his words and gaze before nodding softly. “I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t apologize. I _needed_ to come back. I know that now. I made promises to you and Emilie. And I still have too much to do in The Order, I just forgot…”

“Vera…” He chided gently and she realized she was trying to push the blame down. They both knew doing so wouldn’t allow her to work through it, it would just allow it to fester. She sighed and reached out to grab his hand.

“I know.” She said quietly and she could almost feel him trying to figure out a way they could salvage this thing between them if she blamed him for losing her daughter again. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it with her eyes closed.

“I am also _so_ grateful to you, Hamish.” She whispered and kept her eyes down as she took a deep breath. “You can die _after_ you die, did you know that? I knew that if your body was still alive and you were killed in that realm, that you would die here, but I didn’t know your consciousness could be killed if you already died. If that happens, you cease to exist.”

She looked up and saw his conflicted eyes, but the pain went through her again and she looked back down as her grip tightened on his hand.

“I…I have a lot of enemies Hamish, and I don’t just mean former Knights. I have _no_ allies or friends from my life there because I don’t let people in. There are a lot of people that would be looking to kill my daughter there, but she survived. Do you know why?” She began tracing their fingers with her other hand to give her something to focus on as he shook his head.

“Cassie didn’t come and find me with Ally. Granted, she wasn’t there when I first got there, but she didn’t seek me out and convince me to return. She just came home and found me there.” She peaked up at him and saw confusion on his face.

“Ally lives with her Hamish. Cassie and some of her knights keep her safe so that when it _is_ actually my time, I can reunite with her. If she was killed, she would be gone forever, and I’d never get to see her again. Cassie protects and cares for _my_ daughter because of you. She even convinced some much older Knight’s to help somehow.

“What I’m trying to say is that my daughter is being protected by Knights, people that saw me as an enemy, _because_ of you. That same reason that I forced myself to come back is the reason my daughter is safe and happy. I can never be upset with you over that. She would probably be dead if it weren’t for you, so thank you.”

Hamish was shocked at all the information Vera just told him. He knew Cassie was a selfless and caring person, but to learn she was caring for Vera’s child just so Vera could be reunited with her was incredible to him. And she’d convinced other Knights to help her. He sent a quick thank you to the woman he had loved, not just for sending Vera back to him, but for watching her child for them.

“Did you get to meet any of the other Knight’s by chance? Any I would know?” He asked to steer the conversation away from the pain he knew Vera was still feeling. He understood that it wasn’t going to be easy for Vera to get over the pain of leaving her daughter and there was a very real possibility that they would likely clash a few times because she chose to leave her because of him.

They _would_ be able to weather it though. Together. They both were aware of the likelihood of it causing strife between them and would work through it when and if it happened.

“None of Cassie’s Knights, though I did meet two older ones. They wouldn’t tell me _why_ they were helping, just gave cryptic answers. They may be strong and watch over her, which I am thankful for, but I don’t like them. They made Ally’s friend cry.” He heard her tone grow dark at the memory the words brought.

“I’ll look them up when we get the journal’s back, do you remember their names?” Anyone that had her this angry, he needed to know the history of.

“Marsh and Anise.” She growled out and Hamish felt his blood run cold. She thankfully didn’t notice him growing rigid beside her in her own anger, she was almost shaking by this point.

“What did they do to Ally’s friend?” He asked and was happy his voice stayed relatively even. He understood why they wouldn’t tell her why they were watching her daughter.

They must know he hasn’t informed her of the claiming yet and Marsh would know it wasn’t his place to make her aware of it. But he would absolutely understand his need for Vera to return and his need for Vera’s daughter to be protected.

“I don’t _know_! I was in the house when they were talking to her, but I looked out the window and saw her sobbing. She had just been laughing and playing minutes before with his daughter.” That made Hamish smile slightly before he could mask it. Marsh had been able to reunite with his daughter and sister-in-law at least, hopefully Azure was with him as well.

He didn’t understand why they would want to make the girl cry though. There had to be some reason behind it that Vera had missed. Neither the Marsh or Anise he’d read about would willingly hurt a child in any way. He watched Vera’s head rise so she could meet his eyes and he saw most of the anger had abated.

“I shouldn’t be too angry at them. Cassie and Ally both trust them, and they did give their word they’d protect her. I just…I don’t understand why they would make a four year old girl cry like that! She looked so broken.” She looked sad now and Hamish realized that whoever this child was, Vera felt more connected with than he would have suspected for the short time she’d been there.

“You liked her, didn’t you? Ally’s friend?” He watched her tense with wide eyes that watered slightly before she looked down again. He heard the slight catch in her breathing and knew she more than connected with this girl, she had grown close to her.

“I…yes, very much. Time there…. it’s not like it is here. It felt like I spent minutes there while also spending a lifetime. At the same time somehow. Most of my time was visiting Ally and her friend. It was so easy to fall in love with her. I…I miss them both so much.”

He heard her voice break on the last word and couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He reached forward and pulled her shaking form into his chest as she grieved. When she realized she was fisting his shirt, she remembered Elena doing the same to her as she cried and let out an agonized whimper, tucking her face further into his chest.

Would she ever be able to tell Hamish about her? Would he be able to understand her agony over having to say goodbye to someone else’s child?

She _knew_ Elena was never hers, so why did it feel like she was mourning the loss of two daughters?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was extra long because I couldn't drag out the pain between Vermish any longer. And can I say again, I LOVE Emilie and her relationship with Vermish. I believe we will be jumping right into a new mini arc next chapter that is actually my friend's favorite (I think?)


	112. Her Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for the reviews last chapter! You have no idea how excited my Muse got to get to writing this one! We are entering my friend's (who knows basically everything that I know about Claimed and Bonded) favorite arc...so I'm really hoping you all like it as much as she does.
> 
> I am sooo tired right now but didn't want to wait till tomorrow to get this out, so any spelling/grammatical mistakes are completely on me.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE

After not sleeping at all since he woke two days ago, Hamish couldn’t force himself to stay awake after Vera drifted off in his arms. His dreams were plagued with him tearing her daughter from her, having her hate filled eyes glaring back at him.

Tundra forced himself to stay conscious and tried to funnel senses into Hamish to calm him. The smell of Vera’s hair, the feeling of her breath against his chest, her hand tightening on his shirt. It seemed to help wipe the conflict from Hamish for a short time, but just as quickly a new terror would build within him.

It was long hours after they had fallen asleep that he was in the process of calming Hamish again when he heard Vera’s breathing beginning to grow erratic, her grip tightening and tugging on his champion’s shirt. He kept his sense of smell aimed towards his champion, but all other senses focused on his claimed.

She was struggling with something; it didn’t seem like her typical nightmares though. No, this was more like when she was trying to fight a presence from her mind. Worried, Tundra carefully prodded his champion awake and guided his attention towards Vera just as she relaxed against him.

 _“Check her eyes.”_ Tundra insisted; he couldn’t let go of the feeling that there was something wrong. Hamish hesitated but he had learned to trust Tundra. He carefully pulled back so he could adjust Vera’s head until it was facing his. He could see her eyes moving rapidly under her fluttering lids, but it was the gold that peaked out that worried him.

 _Could it be Gilgamesh’s wolf within her?_ Hamish asked, but he knew it wasn’t possible. His essence was trapped within Vera’s enchantment. It was clever for him to place it there, trapping it so Ishtar couldn’t sever it but still allowing a wolf bond to form between them.

_“No. Vera was fighting with something and then gave control. She’s still here though, she’s not in the collective unconscious, she’s just dreaming. I think Amalie may be sharing a memory with her again.”_

_‘Should I wake her?’_ The past two memories Amalie had forced on Vera had been the traumatizing deaths of her daughters. After what Vera had just gone through with her own daughter, he wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle another one of Amalie’s pain filled memories.

 _“I don’t think she intends to hurt her. She saved all of us and Vera multiple times. I think that if Vera allowed her in, we should honor her wishes. For now, at least.”_ Tundra was torn. He was still upset Amalie had risked Vera’s life in her pursuit of revenge on Ishtar, but he also knew they would have all been killed if she hadn’t helped, numerous times over.

* * *

Vera had been dreaming of Ally and Elena when she felt the familiar pressure on her mind. She tried to push back against her, she didn’t want to leave the two girls, but the presence was fretful, pleading with her to listen.

 _“I need your help, please.”_ Amalie finally said when she had enough of Vera’s attention to converse with her. She felt the resignation in Vera and apologized before she continued.

 _“My history has been lost and warped over the centuries. I need to share what happened, what_ really _happened, to prevent history from repeating itself.”_

_‘Why me?’_

_“You lead the Order, but I know how much you wish to change it. I made terrible mistakes in my grief after I lost my son. I let myself slip and that gave my husband the chance to corrupt my memories and I wound up ordering the extermination of my kin. They will never be remembered if I do not share my side. Please Vera, I owe them this this much.”_

_‘Why not just come and speak with us? Adrian, Holger and I, we’ll listen to you.’_

_“I can’t.”_ Vera growled in irritation, fed up with the damn cryptic responses of the wolves and felt a rise in frustration within Amalie as well. “ _It’s not that I don’t want to, I can’t!_ ”

_‘Because you keep yourself invisible? I’ve seen you twice now, so has Hamish…’_

_“_ You _called me forward twice. I didn’t reveal myself to you. I was only able to reveal myself during the last day of the banishment. You were already unconscious though, so you weren’t able to see how I appeared. I am formless, Vera. Only once or twice per century am I able to exert enough of my gathered magic to create that form. I cannot do it again.”_

 _‘How?’_ Vera knew of no such magic that would allow this. She had felt Amalie’s magic rushing through her, but it was pure energy. She could feel Amalie pause in her mind as she tried to find the answer, but nothing came.

 _“I don’t know. I was hoping from my story that you might be able to help me understand. It won’t hurt you this time, I promise. I will pull you along as an observer only, you won’t experience my pain. Please Vera.”_ Vera could feel the desperation from Amalie rushing through her. The wolf had kept her promise to keep everyone safe, had kept _her_ safe. Vera owed this to her.

_‘How long will it take?’_

_“It will feel like lifetimes while it’s happening, but no more than an hour will pass. All you will be left with is flashes of particular memories. You already know the truth about both of my daughters, but you don’t know what happened_ after _my Amalia was killed. That is where I will start if you accept. I will not force this on you, but I beg you to accept.”_

 _‘Very well. Whenever you’re ready.’_ Vera had barely gotten the thought out before she was pulled into Amalie’s memory. She hovered beside a gorgeous white wolf as it charged through the woods, weaving between trees.

The wolf’s coat was long and sleek, thicker around the chest and legs. Where Gilgamesh had caused the other wolves to submit under his power, Amalie’s wolf demanded you bow before her regal presentation. Even Vera, an observer in this memory, found herself almost dropping to a knee as the trees blurred around her.

It was only after she was able to pull her eyes from the stunning wolf and take in her surroundings that she noticed every time Amalie’s front paws connected with the ground; cracks of lightning would flash in the sky. She turned her attention back to Amalie’s face and could see the conflicted emotions.

There were tears in the vibrant golden eyes showing her anguish, but her muzzle was set in a furious snarl. Vera realized Amalie pulled her in _right_ after Amalia’s death. She traveled as a passenger while Amalie ran without stopping until she neared a seaport.

Vera watched as the golden eyes shifted to green and the white fur melted away, seamlessly transitioning to her human form. The Amalie she had seen in her bedroom and the car stood beside her now. Anguished and furious, but with power that seemed to warp the very air around her.

The woman raised her hand and swiped it from her head down and the image of Amalie from the history books took over. A blond, heavier set woman with a harsh face stood before her now, fully clothed in Victorian style dressing. Nothing that would show she was the Empress, but still showing she had wealth.

She held herself tall as she walked through the seaport, shoving down her fury as onlookers animatedly discussed the recent capture of Amalia. “ _Yes, that’s right! A werewolf and she was here! She was trying to flee! Could you imagine what she could’ve done?! Thank goodness she was executed!”_

“Are you talking about the Emperor’s daughter? She was here?” Amalie asked and even Vera was impressed as Amalie’s face and tone presented the image of a teenage girl ready to hear the latest gossip. How was she able to do this with the pain so fresh?

“Oh yes, she was trying to board a ship for the colonies. Thankfully she was captured first. Imagine the damage she could’ve done to a budding society!”

“What about the ship? Was she on it when she was found? Were there any others with her?” Even Vera cringed as she heard the _too_ excited questions but watched as Amalie calmed herself. “I only ask because I am considering transferring myself but fear more wolves may have been with her…”

“Oh, no need to worry yourself dear. She was completely alone when she was captured outside the seaport. Our Emperor won’t let any of those demons get away. In fact, did you hear? They’ve captured _more_ wolves about an hour south of here just this morning! With the rate these executions are happening, I believe our Holiness will have them all exterminated in no time!”

Vera, remembering the pain of Amalia’s death, felt herself growling at the excitement about the prospect. Of course, she went unnoticed by any around her. She watched as Amalie held herself in check and left the seaport. Once she was in the woods again, she immediately shifted back into her wolf form and ran.

It took weeks of travel and questioning before Vera understood what Amalie was looking for. She was searching for the Vade Maecum. She didn’t know her daughter had successfully sent it to the colonies.

She watched as Amalie tried to save her kin, but time and time again they were slaughtered. She urged them to run south without stopping, to take up residence in the Forest of their ancestor. He would protect them all, but the Order had sent men to capture them every time.

News of her husband’s death reached her ears and Vera watched Amalie slowly make her way to the Black Forrest where she turned in on herself for months.

Not because her husband was dead, and she was mourning him. She was _overjoyed_ at the news of her husband's death. It was because the drive of keeping the book away from him was gone. He would never again get his hands on that accursed book. She could _finally_ give in to her anguish.

Gilgamesh had approached her when she was on the verse of death and she was relieved when he tried to kill her. She didn’t want to survive anymore, she had nothing left to live for. Her children were murdered, her sister was murdered, her closest friends had betrayed her. Instead, Gilgamesh had made her submit to him and they talked for days about what was happening outside the Forest since he'd let centuries before.

He made it clear that there would be no haven for her if she allowed the book she created to fall into the wrong hands or if she continued to let their kin die by the hands of the Order. _She_ created this mess and now _she_ needed to fix it.

He banished her from the woods until she was successful in stopping the slaughter and securing the grimoire. Only then, would she be welcomed back and given the opportunity to reunite with her children.

And so, Vera watched as Amalie scoured all across Germany for three decades trying, and failing, to find the book she had helped create. Her desperate, but failed, attempts in trying to put an end to the wolf trials and save her people as they continued to dwindle until only one other remained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This arc will FINALLY be answering some of those Amalie questions and I am honestly soo excited for it. I believe this arc will be another 1-2 chapters max...hope you liked part 1!


	113. The Kaiserin’s Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much those that reviewed last chapter, I hope this one doesn't disappoint...I'm pretty happy with it...and it's exactly 3k words, which my OCD self loves.
> 
> Trigger warning - Torture

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN

Thirty years after Gilgamesh had banished Amalie from the forest, Vera watched as Amalie tried to save one of the last of her kind. The last magic rank wolf that she knew of was bound by chains her husband had created from his experiments on her. One’s that were specifically designed to suppress a magic rank werewolf.

Amalie had been captured in a glamoured human form while performing magic and was set to be put on trial. They never suspected she was a wolf, and therefore never used the chains on her as they threw her into the holding cell. Without the chains binding her, she was easily able to escape.

She hadn’t wanted to, though. She had wanted to save her kin, but the other wolf demanded she leave when Amalie’s glamour started to flicker the second she touched the chains. To her, Amalie would always be her Empress and it was her duty, as her previous General and one of the last from the magic rank to save her queen.

Amalie waited in the crowd after she escaped wearing a new glamour and tried to save her, but the fields surrounding the execution platform was lined with magic to prevent her from entering. Again, magic _she_ had provided in an effort to calm the Council’s fear of the wolves was used against her.

She kept her gaze linked with her kin as the fire licked up from the woman’s feet. Amalie forced herself to be strong for her General as the other woman refused to scream and give satisfaction to her executioner.

Even as her whole body was engulfed in flames, her smirk remained in place and her gaze remained fixed on her Empress. Vera watched what she knew to be a hide leap from the charred body after the flames were doused.

It collided with whatever barrier they had erupted and fell limply to the ground. Vera could tell Amalie didn’t understand what it was or what had stopped it. Even as a voyeur, Vera could feel the dark magic at play when green flames sprang from a small device before the hide was thrown into it.

Vera knew _exactly_ what had happened when only dust remain from those green flames. Ishtar had given knowledge to someone, likely Amalie’s husband, before she was banished on how to kill an eternal wolf hide. That explained why so few wolves existed today. They weren’t just killing the Champions. They had found a way to kill the hides themselves.

Vera watched the devastation flow through Amalie after that trial as the woman broke further. She had failed to find the Vade Maecum. She had failed to save her kin. She would never again get to be reunited with her children.

She traveled east, for days she wandered before she wound up in the Fichtel Mountains. She took on the appearance of the same woman she had favored in the past, but she was hard to recognize this time. Vera could see the weathered appearance of Amalie’s suffering bleeding through to the woman.

She lived in the valley of the mountains, just on the outskirts of town, for two years. She gave up on using her magic and rarely allowed her wolf to appear. It wasn’t until food became scarce in the village that she gave in and hunted.

She came across a flock of sheep on one of the farmer’s properties and gave in to the easy kill. Vera watched her numbly going through the motions of the day. She wouldn’t talk to anyone, and those that tried to talk with her received only a scowl in response.

She didn’t long for the hunt anymore. When she ran out of food she returned to the farm. This time though, the farmer had been ready, and he shot at her. He missed anything vital, but he had gotten her in the leg. All night she had waited for it to heal, but it wouldn’t.

Vera pleaded on the sidelines for her to heal her leg, but Amalie just didn’t _care_ anymore. Amalie just wrapped the wound with a cloth and went through the same motions as every other day. The farmer literally ran right into her the next day in town.

Instead of apologizing, he had begun to demand answers as to why she was limping all of a sudden. Vera watched as the first emotion in years flashed across Amalie’s face. Anger. She brushed the farmer off saying _‘It wasn’t any of his business’_ and left.

Vera knew to be suspicious of the man, his eyes warned of a threat coming. But Amalie just hobbled back to her shack and climbed into bed, too tired to even prepare dinner for herself. She had woken the next morning bound in chains as she was dragged from her bed.

The authorities told her there was an eyewitness account that placed her as one the women that had escaped the werewolf trial two years ago. She tried to shift to escape, but the chains were the same design that had allowed so many of her kin to be killed.

Vera could see Amalie was almost relieved to get this over with. She may not be able to reunite with her children again, but that was a hope she’d given up on two years back. With her execution, she would finally be freed from the torment of this cursed life.

Except, they had stripped her of her glamour, revealing her true self. They knew her to be the previous Empress who had escaped, and they refused to just kill her. The Council were called in. They wanted information about the wolves and names of any that may have escaped, including those that fled to the colonies. But most importantly, they wanted the book.

For three weeks she was bound in that cell, fed just enough that she wouldn’t die, but not enough to satisfy the hunger or give her any strength. Every day they would question her as they whipped her back to the point where it was raw and bleeding. There was no chance to heal before another day of torture began. Her wolf remaining bound within her and her access to magic stripped from her and her wolf by the chains.

After a particularly _brutal_ beating from the furious soldiers, she had lost consciousness. She woke in the middle of the night filled with fury but noted she was healing, and fast. Too fast. She looked down and inspected the chains to see they had been cracked from the force of the beating.

Vera could see that Amalie’s mind had been completely shattered by this point. Her children’s deaths, her sister’s death, her husband’s betrayal, the Order’s betrayal, her banishment, her failure to find the book, her failure to save her kin, never getting to reunite with her children and now _this?!_

Tortured by the very people she had only ever tried to protect all her life. Beaten so ruthlessly for _weeks_ to the point the metal chains could no longer hold up. All because she’d stolen a sheep. She watched as Amalie fully gave in to her wolf and her eyes grew vibrant gold as she charged out of the cell.

She killed the guards that tried to stop her and any Order members that got in her way, but her focus was on the farmer. Men like him were responsible for countless _innocent_ people and wolves being slaughtered. They were greedy and frightened, and she was _done_ trying to protect them.

She almost succeeded in killing the farmer, but Vera saw the threat approaching. She screamed for Amalie to turn around, but this was a memory and Vera’s voice held no sway.

Vera watched the practitioner sneak up on Amalie and plunge a dagger coated with some type of thick green potion into Amalie’s side. She couldn’t hold her wolf any longer and convulsed on the ground as blood flowed from the torn flesh.

Vera could see the effect of the potion spreading through Amalie, keeping her from moving or shifting as she watched the men grab a beautiful ornate chest the practitioner had brought and stuffed her into it as she writhed in agony.

The memory blackened for a second before Vera found herself beside a barely visible, shifting Amalie watching the scene. It was clear this was Amalie from the past and invisible to the others.

Vera turned back to watch the scene with her. She watched with tears as the men finished wrapping chains around the chest. Vera suspected they were the same chains that prevented the wolf or wolf’s magic from escaping. Without a second to consider what they were doing, both men lifted the chest with the woman inside and threw it into an abandoned well.

A stone slab was rolled onto the well, trapping the ornate chest and the woman within it. The practitioner erected a large stone monument and magically etched words into it and even from the memory Vera felt the power. This was a strong practicioner. Both Vera and past Amalie approached to read what was written.

_‘The Wolfstone_

_Leave she who lies beneath_

_Or face The Kaiserin’s curse’_

Vera looked over to the mostly translucent Amalie and saw confusion and despair on her face. They stayed at her grave for days, just waiting for her soul to leave, but it wouldn’t. Vera broke for the woman. She had lost everything in life and she couldn’t find any relief in death.

She watched as Amalie grew stronger over the centuries as her magic continued to build. She attacked the old castle several times over the years, never allowing the Order or any other person to rebuild and occupy the castle.

Vera knew now that it was due to how much dark magic had festered within the grounds. It was to protect the Order as well as anyone else from falling sway to the concentrated corruption.

She would follow any Grand Magus that came to Germany over the centuries, but she couldn’t leave Germany. Whenever she tried, she was yanked back to her tomb that had become completely overgrown with vegetation over the centuries.

Vera knew Amalie had been continuing to search for her the Vade Maecum, hoping finding it would somehow free her from this cursed half-life. She watched with curiosity as Amalie returned to Amalia’s burial site in 1988.

The candle had gone out and it had drawn her. The most bizarre part was that she had somehow taken the appearance as her wolf. Vera looked out to the unfamiliar sea of faces that were there. She knew from the previous memory shared with her that only Amalie or her Amalia’s spirit would be able to douse the flame. Had Alpha returned? Was she one of the men here?

That was the first and last time Amalie was able to take on her full wolf form since her death, never going past the gold of her eyes. Her magical essence is what remained of her wolf, nothing more.

She watched the interrogation she and Hamish had done, watched Amalie zero in at the knowledge of a living wolf. But not just any wolf, the leader of the one’s who had escaped. And they were _serving_ the current Grand Magus. A Grand Magus that had found the Vade Maecum.

That was why Amalie had followed her, been so insistent on getting into her mind to try and discover where the book was and why a wolf so opposed to the Order was now willingly serving the Grand Magus.

Vera was extremely happy to note that Amalie _hadn’t_ been watching any of the times they’d been intimate. She was there most other times though. Vera wanted to leave as she started to witness Amalie’s perspective of her time, but Amalie dug into her consciousness and refused to let her leave just yet.

She witnessed herself telling Hamish about the enchantment she’d enacted to prevent herself from having kids again. Watched as Hamish and Tundra, thrown from the journal entries tried to kill her. Saw Amalie appear to her. Vera could see the complete shock on Amalie’s face this time when she’d become solid.

She watched Hamish fighting with Tundra after he’d left the room when they’d read about Ishtar and Amalie, realized he had almost lost control and attacked her. Could see the anguish in Hamish’s eyes as he tried to console his companion once he got control back.

She smiled all over again at Hamish’s protective jealously at Holger’s suggestion when they learned about Dipple and Frankenstein’s castle. She watched as Amalie stayed to flip through the journal once they’d left to shower together. Thankfully she hadn’t been an enemy, but Vera really should’ve been more careful than to leave it unprotected and in the open like that.

She was halted at the original vault and realized Amalie, even as she was here, wasn’t able to enter the enchanted section. She listened as they discussed their theory about Emilie, Alpha and Amalia on their way to the castle before the memory darkened again.

The next time she saw through, it was during dinner. More specifically it was the exact point when Vera was looking at the picture Lisa had taken. Vera felt a surge of happiness flood through her as she witnessed Hamish watching her with open love on his face as he approached her and encompassed her in a warm embrace while they stood together on the balcony looking down at the castle.

Vera’s gaze focused on that image, her ringed left hand holding the glass of wine as he kissed her shoulder. She allowed herself to think that just maybe, with the barriers Adrian had placed, that future might be possible now and let a smile break out over her face.

She waited at the vault barrier again until she saw Hamish supporting her, before carrying her when her legs gave out from exhaustion. She saw him tracing her now bare ring finger as she slept, heard him tell her that he loved her.

Her breath was knocked from her lungs at the words. She ached because she desperately wanted to hear them but panicked at the thought at the same time. She couldn’t understand why though.

She knew she loved him, and that he loved her. She had told Gilgamesh, Amalie and Elena just how much she loved him. So why did the idea of telling him, or hearing him say those words terrify her so much?

It hurt when she yanked back the next morning, more now than it had at the time. Amalie had stayed with Hamish when she went to speak with Holger. She felt herself drop to her knees as she watched Hamish almost relapse, _because_ of her.

She had been trying so hard at that time to desperately pull back so it would ease his pain at her coming demise, but she’d almost broken him. She listened as he talked with Jack, and she felt her fear rising within her at his suspicion that there was another reason she was pulling back.

Her smile came back as she watched them snuggling on the couch before falling asleep, but the pain that struck her when Hamish tried to get her to let go of his shirt wiped the smile from her face. Elena flashed through her mind and she felt the longing to hold the girl again.

The pain eased and she had to laugh at both of their reactions to their hiking clothing. They would _definitely_ have to go hiking again. Or just enjoy the clothes in her backyard maybe? It was secluded enough.

She saw Hamish’s terror after Amalie possessed her and felt her heart lurch at the intensity of his love for her. She watched as Amalie tried to enter the woods with them, but she was cast out. She watched the despair at the reminder that she had failed Gilgamesh fall on Amalie’s face before the vision darkened again until Hamish ran out with her passed out in his arms and absolutely terrified.

She witnessed Hamish’s anger as he checked his messages before Emilie’s own fury became visible. She smiled softly as Emilie snapped at Randall, but felt pain knowing she was likely the reason between their strife. She melted a little as Emilie defended her.

When she watched Emilie licking Hamish’s hand and his look of disgust over it, her laughter tore from her. So _that’s_ what they were talking about! Her humor deflated again as she heard their concern on whether or not she’d survive. They loved her so much and she had almost given up on both of them.

She flushed slightly as Amalie watched her and Hamish wake up and banter about smelling each other. But she knew what was coming and pleaded with Amalie to not let her relive this, not so soon after what she’d gone through in the collective unconscious.

But still the wolf refused to let her go and she watched as Fynn pulled Hamish aside. So, it wasn’t just Hamish that had thought she was pregnant. Both siblings had discussed the possibility of her miscarrying.

She watched Hamish and Emilie comfort each other at the loss of a nonexistent baby. The pain was so much worse now that she knew Hamish _had_ lost a child without knowing about it.

She felt tears rolling down her face as Hamish told Emilie that she didn’t want kids and wasn’t hoping for them. He knew now of course how wrong that was, she _had_ hoped for them. She _did_ want them with him. She just didn’t tell him that until a few days later.

She couldn’t possibly bring herself to tell him about Elena. Not after witnessing this again. She sent a silent apology to Cassie and Elena as Amalie continued to show Vera her memories or their time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Amalie is dead...but trapped somehow...can you tell what arc will be coming after this one finishes...I feel so bad for Amalie, her past is soo tragic.
> 
> And why is Amalie is forcing Vera to relive these memories?
> 
> The Wolfstone myth and the Last Wolf of Morbach myth - the candle going out in 1988 and the onlookers seeing a wolf overlooking the area before turning into the woods are actual German Myths if anyone wants to look them up. I just changed them up a tiny bit to fit.


	114. A Promising Theory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews last chapter, if you don't love Amalie yet well...hopefully you will. She's one of my favorites.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN

Vera’s embarrassment crept in as she watched her reaction to Camille, Ivan and Hamish. It grew even stronger as did her disgust when she tried to seduce Ishtar for information. She had gotten what she needed, but she didn’t like that she had lost control and almost fucked a demon against the wall. Especially in front of others.

She watched herself lose control believing that Ishtar had killed everyone. Saw the fear in the others eyes, but the anguish in Adrian’s gaze before he got through to her was the most vivid. She watched Charlotte and Tundra pull the magic away and bear it themselves before she fought to convince the others to not to kill the wolves.

She pleaded with Amalie as she saw Adrian building her barriers, she knew what was coming next. But again, Amalie had her relive it. _Made_ her listen to the reasons she needed to fight to survive.

She flushed again as the ring influenced her desire to sleep with Hamish and his constant attempts to stop her. She could see he wanted so badly to give in, but he knew she needed to rest. And he absolutely refused to take advantage of a situation where she wasn’t in control. God, she loved him.

She watched as she crawled in beside Hamish on the couch and told him about the corruption lines growing and being unable to heal herself before they finished their movie.

Seeing their marked necks sent a new wave of lust through her. She didn’t think she would ever get enough of that man. She felt herself tracing her fingers over the section where the mark used to be on her hip as she watched the scenes play out.

Her tears returned as Emilie struggled with the loss of her parents, and the knowledge that Hamish sent his first image of their baby that he had dreamt up to her at that moment. She so desperately wanted her to be real.

Watching herself lose control in front of the others and almost attack Camille before quite literally laying claim to Hamish was both exhilarating and mortifying. She braced herself as she watched herself wake up the next morning.

She remembered every detail about that perfect impossible dream, but she watched as the vision darkened just as she lifted the blanket to look at her flat stomach and her tears begin to fall. She thanked Amalie for not intruding on their broken moment.

From that point on it was just snippets. Her crawling into Hamish’s bed as they took comfort in the loss of that dream. Arguing over ice cream flavors. Confiding in Hamish about her body’s rejection to Adrian’s magic and him comforting her.

Walking through the park and enjoying a picnic away from everything. Watching movies with Hamish, snuggled close on the couch. Hamish and Emilie bickering over who should get her affection. Hamish and Emilie teasing her. Emilie making cinnamon buns for her. The three of them snuggled together on the couch and making plans for the future.

The rapid flashes slowed suddenly. It was after Ishtar had tried to take Hamish. She had found out that she had only lost three barriers and was wrapped in Hamish’s arms as she drifted off to sleep. Her entire body froze as she heard herself mutter those three words to him. _‘I love you.’_

She saw he knew that she wouldn’t have said them if she were fully conscious, but the smile that split his face as he responded that he loved her too, was breathtakingly beaming. At least he knew, but she hoped she’d be able to find the strength to tell him when she was fully awake.

The flashes began to speed up again. Hamish slamming into her head and spilling her breakfast. Offering his own to her. Them teasing Emilie. Emilie teasing both of them. Tundra carrying her as Hamish almost passed out. Hamish staying awake for hours freezing ice packs to soothe her pain.

Emilie climbing in beside them and snuggling up against Vera. Hamish and Emilie teasing her about letting her go hungry. Hamish tickling her under the covers and them getting caught by an amused Holger as Emilie laughed in the corner. Making plans to take a vacation to France with Hamish.

The flashes slowed again, although Vera could tell that snippets of the conversations were missing. Ishtar was offering a deal to Hamish, but her sentences would just end suddenly and her face would blur making it impossible for Vera to read her lips. Hamish was fighting to convince Charlotte to not let Emilie give in to Ishtar’s deal.

And then the room erupted with lightning as Amalie came forward. She could see the solid section on her side from where the poisoned dagger had torn through her. But the words of the fighting Empresses stole the air from her lungs.

Was she pregnant? Was that why Ishtar had been so consumed with getting through her barrier? Her hand shook as she brought it over her abdomen while they went back and forth over whether or not she was pregnant.

She watched as her body, possessed by Amalie tore through spell after spell without cost and it was at this point that Vera realized she had no idea of what she’d lost while she’d been unconscious. She froze as the ancient wolf informed Adrian of the loss of seven barriers. _Seven?!_

She listened as the others tried to convince Amalie to back down, Hamish threatening to kill Amalie’s daughter. She felt current Amalie’s apology for what she had done, what she had cost her in her thirst for revenge and Vera felt her fear rising at what she would discover next.

Bonded wolves? She wasn’t a wolf! Father and child? But she wasn’t pregnant! Why was Amalie checking again, could she be? No, of course not. Gilgamesh transferred his essence to me?! I’m becoming a wolf?! A year, okay, I have a year to figure something out, that should hopefully be enough time.

The fear was overwhelming as she listened to Amalie explaining to the others that they could all die right then. Again, she felt that bittersweet feeling as the enchantment she’d enacted saved their lives. She felt herself dropping to her knees again as tears flowed from her eyes when Amalie left her body and informed them of two remaining barriers.

Her tears didn’t lessen as Tundra carried her unconscious form to their room and Holger scanned her. A broken sob escaping as he revealed that less than half of one remained. Her agony only grew as Adrian informed Holger that she only had months left.

Amalie continued to show her events from the past four days, but Vera couldn’t focus on them. The future she’d been imagining and hoping for was gone. Stripped from her the second she allowed herself to be happy, just like everything else in her life.

_“I’m so sorry for what I’ve taken from you, Vera. If I hadn’t been so consumed…”_

_‘Don’t apologize, Amalie. I understand.’_ Vera was surprised when all she felt towards the wolf was sympathy. She wasn’t mad at Amalie for what she’d done, sad yes, but she couldn’t be mad. This was a woman who had spent centuries in pain, drifting through a half-life and cursed to suffer alone.

_“But I cost you your future. Both by creating the spell that is killing you and by using it when I had an opportunity for revenge…”_

_‘Yes, but I understand it. You didn’t_ mean _to hurt anyone Amalie, and I am so sorry for what you’ve endured. But you have also given me a gift by forcing me to relive these memories and focusing on the happy moments.’_

_“I am sorry for making you relive some of them, but…”_

_‘It was necessary, I know that. You reminded me of my life with them and showed me what pulling back will do to them. I don’t know if I would have now that I know of my limited time, but you showed me why I can’t. It won’t save them any pain; their love is too strong already. I need to fight until they are able to survive without me. Do you know what will happen to Gilgamesh when I die?’_

_“Because he is of magic rank, if the transference isn’t complete, his essence will return to him upon your death.”_

_‘Good, I don’t want his life wasted on me.’_

_“Do you…do you know what has happened to me? Is there a way to end my curse?”_ Vera heard the defeat in Amalie’s voice, but she felt herself smiling.

_‘I have a theory. Unlike Gilgamesh, you weren’t protected from Ishtar’s curse during the hide creation. All of the hides contain pieces of the souls of the original wolf. Your problem is twofold. First you are of magic rank, your wolf and your magic go hand in hand and should never be separated. They wrapped your hide in the same chains that bound your wolf inside your body as well as forced your magic from your wolf._

_‘The second, more difficult part, is whatever potion the practitioner used on you severed your magic from_ your _body as well. The chains and potions effect prevent your magic and your hide from connecting again which means your soul and magic continue to linger._

_‘I noticed it whenever you became somewhat corporeal, it was the only fully solid section. I believe if we can find your hide, remove it from the well and strip the chains, part of you will transfer back to your hide. But we need to come up with a potion to negate the previous one’s effect so you can fully transfer and move on. I may be able to reverse the potion with my time remaining, if not I will show Hamish what to do.’_

She didn’t bother saying before she died, that was clear to both women. It _would_ take time, but she trusted that Hamish would be able to take over if she died before she finished.

_“But you have to return to your Temple. I cannot leave Germany.”_

_‘I believe that’s because you’re tethered to a trapped hide. There’s some type of magic sealing the well, it’s what makes you spring back to the same location instead of just hitting a wall. If I’m right and part of you will transfer back, you will be stuck within your hide, no longer wandering around Germany. But just until it’s restored with the potion._

_‘I think this will work Amalie. You deserve to be freed and I believe you’ve earned the reward of reuniting with your children. You helped to banish Ishtar and saved the rest of the wolves. Let me right the wrongs my predecessors caused.’_

_“Thank you, Vera, I wish there was some way I could help you.”_

_‘If you get to the collective unconscious before me, find your children first but…could you watch over Ally, Elena and Cassie for me? Just make sure they stay safe until Hamish and I find our way back to them when our times come. That’s all I ask.’_

_“I promise. Now you must wake up, your wolf is worried for you.”_

Vera felt Amalie release her and her eyes opened to meet Hamish’s concerned and loving gaze. She opened her mouth, wanting to say those three words, but something stopped her. Instead, she lifted her head up and kissed him deeply, allowing herself to pour her love to him that way.

“Are you okay?” Hamish asked pulling back with a smile as he brushed her hair behind her ears. She gave a small smile and nodded as she pulled him down and kissed him again. She pulled back and tucked herself against his side, head on his shoulder as she started tracing patterns on his chest.

“We need to rescue Amalie.” She said quietly and tiled her head to meet his confused eyes. “She’s been dead for centuries Hamish…”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Vera, we saw her, felt her, spoke with her. We even fought with her the other day.” She could see concern in his eyes, but she just smiled and nodded.

“I know, she showed me. Everything since Amalia died till I came back. Well, she blurred some more recent moments, but I got the gist.” Hamish had panicked at that but calmed when Vera explained further. Amalie wouldn’t have told Vera about the claiming.

“I watched her die, but she’s been trapped here. She was stabbed with an enchanted blade coated with a green potion…”

“In her side? I saw a section that remained solid when we fought together, I thought it was odd at the time, but couldn’t focus on it with everything else that was going on.” Vera smiled widely as she pushed herself up and kissed him for his observation.

“You’re exactly right. It _is_ odd. And I _think_ I know what potion caused it. We have to recover her hide locker from an enchanted well, remove the werewolf chains from the box and bring her back with us. I hope we can reverse the effect, though it will take time and I will need your help. It also _must_ remain a secret from the others.”

“What about Emilie? Charlotte should know about her sister.”

“I want to sit down with Emilie and tell her and Charlotte everything that Amalie showed me. I also plan to tell Adrian and Holger, but that’s it.” She continued watching him as he nodded before smiling and she kissed him again before he froze beneath her.

“Did she tell you what Gilgamesh did to you?” Vera flinched slightly but pulled back and nodded. “Do we need to worry about Council?”

“No, I won’t tell anyone about it, and neither will the others. It’s likely the transference may not even work because of the enchantment anyways. Until we know for sure, there’s no point in worrying about it.” She kissed him once more and laid back beside him continuing to circle patterns across his chest.

“I want us to rest and inform the others today and leave first thing tomorrow if possible. I suspect it’ll be a bit of a hike to get there, especially since I can’t exactly remember _where_ her tomb is.”

Hamish agreed as he pulled her closer. He wasn’t sure what exactly Amalie had shown her, but it seemed to help Vera with her pain over her time in the collective unconscious. Made her more eager to live in the present.

He owed it to Amalie to try and find her locker and a way to free her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amalie forced Vera to live through this because she knew she needed it to fully pull her back to the living realm' and show her she had a life here with people she loved and who loved her. And conscious Vera is trying to say those 3 little words...it's going to be a struggle for awhile.
> 
> And yay, next big arc is being set up, but I think we have a couple fluff chapters (what? from me and my Muse? 😂...well mostly fluff🥰) first.


	115. The Blame Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't think I would get this one out till tomorrow, but you guys made me (and my Muse) so excited to write this one out! This one starts a little rough, but I swear, most of it is just adorable fluff.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN

Vera stayed awake after Hamish fell back to sleep. She knew he hadn’t let himself rest while she was fighting to stay with Ally and Elena. She felt him tensing beneath her as his breathing sped up and pulled back carefully to look down at his troubled face.

She frowned as she turned slightly so she could pull her hand up to trace over the furrowed lines between his eyes and around his frown. At her delicate touch, his features smoothed, and his breathing slowed. Her fingers gently trailed over his lips before she carefully mapped every feature.

Elena had inherited so much from him, including the way his face twisted in pain as he dreamt. She wasn’t sure how she knew so clearly, but she did know his nightmares were because of her. She had fought against returning to him for days.

And then, when she did finally return, she had attacked him with pure hatred. It still hurt when Ally or Elena would flash in her mind, but Amalie helped her to see that she was happy here too. Hamish and Emilie went out of their way to show her how much they loved her. And she truly loved every second with them both. In her pain she had hurt him, hurt them both, but it was clear he was more troubled than Emilie.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you.” She whispered as his face distorted in pain again. Vera watched his eyes fluttering beneath his lids as she tunneled her fingers through his hair. It seemed to calm him as his face relaxed again.

Vera leaned in closer as she continued her finger’s soothing motions until she was a breath away from his lips. Her eyes swept across his face before she kissed him softly. He responded in his sleep with a muffled hum that pulled a smile from her as she drew back and looked down at him.

“I’m trying to find the courage to tell you when we’re _both_ awake, but I…I love you Hamish, _so_ much more than you can possibly imagine.” Her voice shook as she said it and she felt her throat closing up as her breath accelerated at the emotions the words sent through her.

Vera adjusted slightly so she could cradle his head against her chest as she continued tunneling through his hair. She smiled as he turned into her more at the angle and pushed his face into her neck and breathing deeply. Elena was _just_ like her father. Vera would do whatever it took to ensure Hamish survived her death so him and Elena would get to meet one day.

Adrian snuck in quietly a couple hours later and Vera was still holding Hamish to her, not wanting to stop her motions lest his nightmares return. She offered a small smile to the man, telling him it was okay to come in. She could see the anguish behind his eyes, reminding her of her limited time.

“I already know Adrian, it’s okay.” She said with a weak smile, unconsciously pulling Hamish closer to her as she placed a silencing incantation over him. She needed to speak with Adrian but couldn’t risk Hamish overhearing. She _would_ tell him, but not here. Not like this.

“I’m so sorry Vera, I thought you would…I didn’t expect her to…”

“She showed me what happened and already apologized. I’m going to fight for as long as I can, but...” She felt the stinging behind her eyes and looked down at the man asleep in her arms. “Promise me you’ll keep him safe? Both of them, please.”

Vera felt Adrian’s hand land on the side of her face gently as he brushed away a tear that had escaped with his thumb. She looked up at him to see him smiling down at her almost fatherly.

“We’re not going to let anything happen to them, Vera. I promise. Holger and I spoke with the others and they’re also willing to do whatever it takes to keep them safe.” Vera felt relief wash through her. She trusted Adrian and Holger to keep their word.

“You said she showed you what happened? How _much_ did you see?” Adrian asked as he watched the woman take and give comfort to the man in her arms. Vera looked up at him with a small smile.

“Almost everything. I know about Gilgamesh if that’s what you’re asking about. But as it takes at least a year and it’s only been a little over a month…well, we don’t really have to worry about that, now do we? What he transferred will revert back to him when I die.” She stumbled over the last word and felt her breathing pick up at actually voicing it out loud.

She looked down at Hamish and brushed his hair off his forehead as she tried to calm herself. Amalie showed her their life together from a different perspective and now, more than before, she didn’t want to leave the man in her arms.

“There may still be a cure out there somewhere...” Adrian said but watched as Vera shook her head and looked at him with watery eyes.

“There isn’t. Amalie actually created it, but since it is powerful enough that it can’t be destroyed, she weaved corruption into it for anyone who would cast it after she did. She was being hunted and knew it would fall into the hands of the Order. She couldn’t give her husband or Council that kind of unchecked power. She knows of no way to undo it’s effect.”

Vera felt an apologetic caress against her mind and closed her eyes at Amalie’s apology. “You did what you had to Amalie, as did I.” She whispered and took a steadying breath.

“I need you and Holger to stall the council for a few more days if possible…”

“Already taken care of, we told them you returned three days ago and that we started the banishment immediately. We also said you would be unavailable until the ritual is complete. Why, what are you planning?” Vera sent a grateful smile at him at the news.

They knew she would’ve been pulled back by Council as soon as they heard the banishment was completed. They were giving her time to rest and recuperate before being thrown back into the frying pan, and she was beyond grateful for it.

“Hamish and I will need to travel to the Fichtel mountains. Amalie was murdered when the journal said she was, but they pushed her magic from her body and bound her hide, preventing her from merging with it again. She’s been cursed to hover in Germany for centuries. We owe it to her to try to help and let her move on. Both for helping us now with Ishtar and for what the Order did to her back then. She deserves the chance to move on and reunite with her children.”

Adrian watched as Vera’s voice turned sad and she gazed back down at Hamish. Something about the sorrow on her face and the way her fingers gently mapped over specific features told him she wasn’t just thinking about her reuniting with Ally.

“Vera?” She kept her eyes on Hamish but hummed lowly to let him know she was listening. “Who was Alexandra’s friend?” Vera’s hand immediately froze, and he watched her sad smile turn panicked as she tightened her grip on Hamish.

“Does he know about her?” He asked softly just before she released a pained moan and shook her head.

“Cassie died before either of them knew. I…I can’t tell him, not after what he went through when he thought I was pregnant. Losing me will be hard enough for him but knowing he also lost a child will break him. He _needs_ to survive so he can join us there when his time comes. Please don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I promise Vera, you don’t have to worry. We’ll explain how important it is that he survives after you’re gone. We’ll make sure he’s able to find _both_ of you again. I’ll tell Holger about Amalie and we’ll start making arrangements for you to leave…” He paused for her to give him a time. “Tomorrow morning. Would you like me to inform Emilie?”

“I’ll tell her. Once he wakes up, I’ll explain everything she showed me to you three. No one else can know Adrian. Fixing her hide is going to be time consuming, and I want to make sure she’s not manipulated by someone else before she’s free.”

“Very well, would you like me to send her in? She’s sleeping a few rooms over.” Vera hesitated as she looked down at Hamish again.

“Give us another hour or two. He needs…I want…just give us some time alone first.” Hamish needed her right now. Emilie may want to see her, but she would understand and approve of her need to be here for Hamish. She watched as Adrian smiled before leaving and removed the silence incantation she had surrounded Hamish with.

She kissed the top of his head gently and snuggled closer to him as she breathed in his scent to calm her troubled mind. She felt him starting to stir maybe an hour later and felt herself smile as he nuzzled closer and kissed her neck gently with a sleepy hum.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” She teased and felt him pull away slowly. She couldn’t stop herself from pulling him into a kiss when she saw him. His hair was thoroughly mused and sticking up in several different directions from her fingers, his eyes were still laden with sleep and his smile was filled with love.

He sighed into the kiss and pulled back to lay his head over her chest as he hugged her. “Mmm, I like when you’re up first. I don’t have to worry that you’re going to bite my head off for saying something before you’ve had your coffee.” He teased and felt her pinch his side in mock annoyance.

She felt him chuckle as he turned his head and started planting kisses along her sternum in apology. Her eyes closed and her hands tunneled into his hair before she remembered they could easily have an observer in the other room. Not that she _really_ expected someone would be there, but without knowing for sure, she couldn’t give in to her desire.

“Not here, Hamish.” She whispered and pulled him up. He pouted and she melted at his jutted lip before giving him a quick peck and turning his head towards the other room.

“Do we have time to go home before our meeting?” She flushed in arousal at his whispered words and how he shifted against her under the covers, just enough to let her know how much he wanted her right now. She met his dark eyes and knew hers matched as she fought with herself.

“I’ve already spoken with Adrian, so it should be a relatively quick meeting. I want to get it out of the way first. That way we can enjoy the rest of the day together.” His pout returned and she took on a wicked smirk as she bit her lip. “ _Uninterrupted_.” She purred quietly and closed her eyes as he pressed against her with a small moan at the suggestion.

And then, his weight on top of her was gone in an instant. Her eyes snapped open at the sudden loss of contact before she felt herself quite literally being dragged up and out of the bed.

Her amused laughter bounced off the walls as she felt him pulling a sweater over her sleepshirt. Odd, he must have had Emilie pick up some clothes for her. Her head got stuck in one of the sleeves as he tried to hurriedly pull it on her. She reached out with the arm that was successfully in the sweater and blindly felt for his chest.

“Hamish! What are you _doing_?!” Her laughter was infectious, and she heard him join in as she felt his hands reach up and adjust the head section over her head, bringing it down and static charged hair clinging to her face and neck.

“We have a _very_ important meeting to get to.” He said grinning as he leaned forward and kissed her lightly. “So, let’s hurry up and get this other meeting out of the way.” He smirked and almost pulled away from her completely, but Vera dragged him back into her and claimed his lips in a heated kiss.

“You are _not_ making this easy, Vera.” He growled as he pulled her firmly against him. He kissed her once more before forcing himself to pull back and rest his forehead against hers. “You finish getting ready, I’ll get the others and bring them back here.”

He pulled back, but her finger had hooked into his shirt collar and she tugged him back with an amused smile. “Do you plan on putting pants on first? Or have you been walking around in your boxers the past few days for just anyone to see?” She forced herself not to laugh as he flushed and raised her brow as if she were upset with him.

Of course, Hamish saw right through it and pulled her closer by her hips. “Would that bother you?” She had never really shown a possessive side before the ring, so he was a bit curious if there was more than just teasing in her words.

He watched her tilt her head and furrow her brows as if seriously considering the question and felt himself deflate a bit. He lifted his hands from her hips subconsciously, before he felt himself being pulled forward sharply by his collar.

“Yes. _My_ eyes only.” She purred just before his lips met hers in a passionate kiss. He growled into her mouth but forced himself to pull back before he couldn’t stop himself from pinning her against the door. Vera’s eyes were dark, but she was smirking wickedly at him as her eyes traveled south and hummed in appreciation.

Her amusement died as soon as they heard the knock, and she threw his pants at him. She saw the door opening and tried to choke out an order to wait, but her mouth went dry. Thankfully Hamish was by the door and his hand shot out and held the door from opening further.

“Just a minute.” He snapped before shutting the door firmly and glaring at Vera as Emilie’s protest came through.

“Really you two?! We’re in the Temple for crying out loud! The least you could do is _lock_ the door!” Vera flushed and tried to glare back at Hamish, but he just shook his finger and pointed at her.

“Oh no, _this_ one is all on you.”

“ _You_ started it!” She shot back as she tried to smooth her hair down and make herself look more presentable.

“And _you_ continued it!” He growled as he pulled his pants on, trying to calm his obvious arousal.

“You were going to walk out of here without any pants on Hamish! I _had_ to stop you!” She watched as a dopey grin formed on his face before he quickly walked forward and wrapped both arms low around her waist before tugging her flush against him.

“Right, because this is _just_ for your eyes only.” He teased but she could see he loved knowing she didn’t want others seeing him undressed. She flushed but nodded sharply and gave him a firm peck on the lips before shoving him back.

“See, _I’m_ the innocent here.” She grinned wickedly as she approached the door and pulled it open forcefully. She felt a weight fall into her as she was looking at Hamish before she felt her head connect with the ground and twinned ‘oofs’ escaped the two people now sprawled out on the ground covered in what Vera thought was orange juice.

“Shit, sorry!” Emilie said rolling off of Vera as she cringed at the glare Hamish was sending at her as he healed her head.

“What were you doing Emilie?!” Vera barked harshly through the throbbing of her head as she shook her wet sleeve. She thanked Hamish once she felt the pain dull in her head. Emilie looked down at the scolding and Vera’s voice grew softer as she cleaned the juice from both her and Emilie’s clothing. “Emilie?”

“I was just bringing you guys a drink and then when it was clear what you were doing, I decided to lean against the door to make sure no one else came and interrupted. I didn’t _mean_ to hurt you.” Vera cringed at the hurt tone from the girl and pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you Emilie. And thank you for looking out for us. We were actually on our way to come and get you guys, we just got a little distracted. _His_ fault.” She jabbed her thumb towards Hamish who went from smiling to glaring.

“It was _not_!” Emilie laughed lightly as the two glared at each other, both trying to pin the blame on the other.

“I’m pretty sure you’re _both_ equally guilty, judging from past experience. But no, no, you two go right ahead and continue to bicker. It’s entertaining.” Vera scowled as the girl leant back against the wall and acted as if she were eating popcorn.

“She didn’t want me to leave without any pants on. This…” he gestured confidently to himself as Vera’s face switched to mortified disbelief. “…apparently is strictly for _her_ viewing pleasure only. So be sure to avert your eyes next time we shift.” He scrunched his mouth and nodded at the order as Vera sputtered before finally finding her voice.

 _“Hamish!_ Are you _kidding_ me right now? _”_ Both Emilie and Hamish cringed at the irritation in her voice.

“Sorry…I wouldn’t tease you around anyone other than Emilie, you know that.” He said softly and Vera felt her irritation slipping away. When he leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss a small smile replaced the previous scowl.

“You guys really are just the cutest.” Emilie chuckled as they both rolled their eyes but joined her against the wall. They were still sitting on the floor talking, Hamish’s arm wrapped around Vera as she leaned against him when Adrian and Holger made their way in the room.

“You three do realize that there’s not only a bed, but _three_ chairs right over there that you could be sitting on.” Holger chuckled as Vera flushed, but made no effort to move from Hamish’s embrace.

“Yes, but the floor is so comfortable…”

“Sure, it’s the _floor_ that’s comfortable, mmhmm, sure…shit, um, that was supposed to be said in my head.” Emilie cringed as two glares got directed her way. “Sorry.” She muttered before leaning over and giving Vera a kiss on the cheek that left Vera with a soft smile and small flush.

Hamish huffed slightly at how easily Emilie was able to worm her way back into Vera’s good books. Emilie meanwhile knew _exactly_ how wrapped around her finger Vera was and stuck her tongue out at Hamish. Besides, she thought, it wasn’t as if _he_ couldn’t melt the so called ‘ice queen’ just as easily.

“Well, if you’ll pardon an old man, I think I’ll use the chair.” Adrian said chuckling as he pulled one over for Holger as well. “Now, why don’t you fill us in on what Amalie shared with you.” Vera nodded and grabbed onto Emilie’s hand in an effort to comfort her and Charlotte as she relayed the centuries of information Amalie showed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vera verbally and consciously said 'I love you'! I mean, Hamish was still asleep and it will still be awhile till she can bring herself to say it when he's awake, but that's some serious progress.


	116. Picture Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I be trying to map out Bonded right now? Absolutely. Do I want to? Absolutely. Am I doing it? Nope, not at all (I did make a small amount of progress yesterday, though)...instead, have another, short, fluffy chapter as a thank you for all the lovely reviews last chapter.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN

It was exactly Vera being firmly wrapped around Emilie’s finger, and Hamish being wrapped around Vera’s finger, that led to the three of them back at the hotel curled up on the couch together after the meeting. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy these moments, he did, really. It’s just he had been planning _other_ activities with Vera for this evening.

Emilie had asked if she could join them on the trip to find Amalie’s hide, but both Holger and Vera had firmly put their foot down on this one. She’d already missed two months of school and if she still wanted to transfer next year, without repeating anything, she had a lot of catching up to do.

She had pouted the rest of the meeting and Hamish watched as Vera melted more and more each time she looked at the girl as she slowly pulled into herself. It took Hamish longer than he cared to admit to, to realize that she wasn’t pouting to try to get Vera to cave so she could get her way and be allowed to come with them. There was something bothering her, and Hamish knew Vera had picked up on it as well.

She grabbed Emilie’s wrist when she went to leave with Adrian and Holger and waited until they were out of the room before confronting her. Emilie admitted weakly that she realized that after this trip they would be leaving, and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

Vera had looked at him with wide, desperate eyes, asking for permission and Hamish couldn’t deny her anything. He gave a small smile as he nodded and Vera beamed at him before inviting Emilie over to finish, well really _start_ and finish, The Return of The King.

And that was why he found himself with three endings still left in the movie to go and both women passed out beside him. Vera had fallen asleep just after Denethor killed himself after almost burning Faramir alive and her head was currently resting heavily against his lap after gravity slowly pulled it down.

He wasn’t sure exactly when Emilie had fallen asleep, but her head was heavy against Vera’s side and her bowl of popcorn had spilled all over her, the couch and the floor from her weak grip. He very carefully and slowly pushed Vera up just enough that he could climb out from under her before carefully laying her back down on the couch.

Once he was standing, he looked down at the sleeping women and his heart melted. They were both too adorable right now to not capture the moment. He pulled out his phone to take a few quick photos of them. Vera would never need to know, though he suspected if he presented them in the right way, she would absolutely love it. And he _knew_ Emilie would cherish them.

He quickly ran to the bathroom and got ready for bed before making his way back out towards the couch. Neither woman had stirred so much as an inch. Hamish carefully lifted Emilie off of Vera, mostly to not wake Vera, but the girl was like a limp noodle.

He had thought she would be a light sleeper, but that was clearly not the case. Both her arms flopped to the side, just barely missing slapping Vera on their way down thanks to Hamish’s quick reaction time, and just dangled. Her head dropped back and her mouth opened from the angle as she continued to sleep. If only he had a hand free to take a picture to show Vera, she would love it.

He took a step towards the spare bedroom but turned back to Vera and called her name quietly. He watched as she stirred on the couch with a low groan, trying to find his warmth and frowning when she couldn’t. He called her name once again and watched as her blurry eyes open several times as they adjusted to what she was seeing.

He was right, this was _definitely_ something she wanted to see. Her look of pure love had him smiling as he pointed to his phone on the coffee table with a raised brow. She grinned happily and nodded as she picked it up and moved it towards him to unlock.

Before it got close enough, he absently told her the pin and adjusted Emilie just slightly so her neck wouldn’t bother her. He didn’t see Vera freeze slightly before a soft smile crossed her face as she entered the pin. She took a few pictures, some of Hamish and Emilie and a few of just Emilie.

“I’m going to lay her down in the other room. You _can_ come, if you want to.” He added as he saw the longing on her face. She blushed slightly but nodded and followed him to their spare room.

Hamish watched Vera brush the curls off Emilie’s face once she was tucked in before she leaned in and kissed her forehead. Her cheeks were still faintly tinted pink when she walked towards where he was leaning against the doorframe. She offered him a happy smile as she wrapped both arms around his waist in a tight hug.

“Thank you for giving up our plans tonight.” She mumbled as she tilted her head up towards him, chin resting against his sternum. He smiled softly and pulled her closer as he leaned down to kiss her. Emilie clearly hadn’t been the only one that had needed tonight.

“Come on, we have an early start tomorrow and a long drive ahead of us.” He savored the fact that she kept an arm around him as they walked towards their bedroom. By the time she had come back from the bathroom, the bed had been remade and he was laying under the covers.

He watched as she stripped and crawled in beside him before almost flopping down on top of him with a sleepy hum. Her arms wound around him as she shifted until her head was tucked against his neck.

“I’m going to miss her.” Vera whispered a few minutes later, bringing him fully conscious again. He brought both hands up to massage gently across her back as he turned his head to kiss her crown.

“I know.” He felt her grip tighten slightly as her head tucked further into his neck. “You know, no one said they had to wait until the new school year to move. I could offer my apartment to them if they wanted to come before the dorms were open? Maybe after their extensions end in a few more weeks?” Vera tilted her head back to look at him and he was shocked to see her eyes were wet.

“Are you sure?” When Emilie had brought up saying goodbye it hit Vera a lot harder than she expected. But it wasn’t until Emilie was leaning against her as they watched the movie that she realized she may not get this again. Summer vacation was almost three months. The estimated time she had remaining on the lower end.

Hamish offering to put the siblings up would give her more time with them. She knew Hamish cared about them both, especially Emilie, but she still didn’t want to put him out. His apartment was lovely, but it looked to be at best a two bedroom. Hamish smiled down at her and nodded.

“I’m barely ever there anyways. Honestly, if they’d like to just stay there after school starts, they’re more than welcome to it.” Vera pushed herself up to look down at him, looking for any sign that he was just going out of his way to make her happy, but he was genuine in his offer.

“Thank you.” She whispered with a wide smile as she leaned forward to kiss him softly. He felt her shift until she was more on top of him and brought his hands to rest on her hips. Vera pulled back from the slow kiss to stare into his loving gaze.

“I…” She cleared her throat against the sudden blockage and tried again. “I lo…” Her throat closed up again, silencing the words and she closed her eyes in frustration. Why couldn’t she tell him?! She felt his hand cupping the side of her neck and cheek as his thumb stroked back and forth. When her eyes opened, his understanding gaze met hers.

“There’s no rush Vera, I’m not going anywhere.” Her eyes closed again at the hurt that slammed into her at his words. She knew _he_ wasn’t going anywhere; _she_ was.

She tried to voice the words once more, but when nothing came, she sagged against him and burrowed her face into his chest in defeat. “I’m sorry.” She felt both his arms wrap tightly around her as he kissed the top of her head.

“There’s no need to apologize, Vera. It’s okay that you’re not ready. We’ll _both_ wait to say it until you are, okay?” He was too understanding, but it was one of the main things she loved about him. He never pushed her for more than she was ready to give.

She nodded from her curled-up position on his chest but tightened her arms around him, hoping to at least show him how much she loved him if she couldn’t tell him yet. She felt his hands resume their gentle massage and the soothing movement of his chest and hands lulled her into a deep sleep.

Morning was a bit more rushed than Vera would’ve liked it to be. Thankfully Emilie had insisted on making breakfast while they rushed to pack and shower, rotating for obvious reasons. Emilie had been ecstatic at the offer to move earlier and said she’d talk with Fynn, but she at least would be there in six weeks.

It was a longer wait than Vera wanted, but she understood the girl had schoolwork to finish catching up on and a whole life to pack up here. Plus, she would still be arriving over a month earlier than originally planned.

Without thinking about what she was doing, she had embraced Emilie in a tight hug and kissed her forehead as Hamish started, quite literally, ushering her out the door saying they didn’t have time for long goodbyes because they were already running late.

The drive was indeed long, four hours without traffic but with their late start it was pushing five. And that wasn’t counting rest stops. They made a few stops along the way to stretch their legs or get snacks, but it was like sweet relief when they finally pulled into their lodging for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vera is now actively trying to say those three little words...and Hamish is just so perfect for not pushing her to say them before she's ready!
> 
> I'm really sad so many of you don't get all my Lord of the Rings references...but the reference in this chapter (probably a spoiler for those that haven't seen it) has been written since I planned this so I wasn't removing it...basically, the Return of the King has like 15 'endings' where you keep thinking the movies over...I love them all, but I still forget how long they go on.
> 
> And yay! Next Arc has officially started, this one will feature some of the others, but will be very Vermish heavy...I didn't think anyone would mind that?


	117. Age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First - If your reading this AND Lost Memories...go read Lost Memories' recent chapter before this one...trust me, you'll want this one to come after. (It's why this one was written instead of working on Bonded...😬)
> 
> Second - Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews last chapter, I swear though, the recent fluff was to get us all out of the depressive gaping hole from the last two arcs. MOST of this arc shouldn't be too bad...I hope 😬...but yes, there are still some very painful moments...😬
> 
> Third - I know I've told some of you that when I started this I didn't bother doing ANY math, I just picked a time frame from Ally's birthday and said, yeah, that looks good without bothering to just add 16+19 like a dummy 🤦 (and this is why I NEED to plan)...so...even though I see Vera as 39...in this story she's a bit younger...heyo, writer fuck up, it's cool, it happens...right? 🤷🤦

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN

Hamish grabbed both their packs in one hand before she could grab hers and wrapped his free arm low across her back with his hand on her hip. Vera rolled her eyes but didn’t pull away as they walked towards the door. She sent him a small smile as he held the door open for her and waved her in ahead of him.

The receptionist behind the counter immediately set her on edge and had her hand twitching in its desire to grab Hamish’s hand. She looked to be about twenty-one, had long red hair and bright blue eyes with a megawatt smile. That smile, however, was completely directed at Hamish as they walked up to the desk.

“Good evening, the reservation should be under _Stone_.” He offered with a kind smile that the woman mimicked. Vera peaked up through her lashes at Hamish to see he was completely oblivious to the redhead’s attraction and rolled her eyes in annoyance as the woman sent another flirtatious smile at him.

She watched as the woman finished typing and looked at the screen with a small frown. Vera watched as she looked between both of them calculatingly before looking Vera up and down quickly as a worried look played across her frowning face.

Vera successfully fought the desire to make it absolutely crystal clear to this woman that Hamish was taken, _by her_ , but she couldn’t exactly stop the scowl from working its way onto her face. Hamish leaned forward against the counter slightly where his free hand had been resting as he asked if there was an issue with the reservation. How in the world was he still so oblivious towards other woman’s interest in him?!

“We’re training someone new and I do worry that they may have gotten your reservation wrong. It happens sometimes, but we can definitely fix it if there’s been a mistake. Could you take a look?” Vera’s scowl was full blown as the woman swiveled the screen around for Hamish to look at, not even bothering to address Vera.

“No, that looks right. Vera?” Hamish said looking away from the computer towards Vera to double check she hadn’t made any changes since Adrian showed them the reservation. Instead, what he saw was a _very_ irritated Vera with crossed arms glaring at the receptionist.

Hamish turned his attention back towards the receptionist as she looked between them in confusion and it finally dawned on him. His kind face grew hard and he wrapped his arm around Vera and pulled her into his side firmly.

Vera’s scowl immediately dropped when he pulled her into him and she looked up at him with a soft smile, but his glare remained fixed on the woman that had insulted her. She leaned into him further, enjoying the fluttering feeling his display caused and brought her arm up around his back as they waited for the flustered woman to finish checking them in.

“I’m uh…I’m so sorry about that. Here’s your keys, the elevators are right over there. It may be a bit of a wait as two of them are down for maintenance until tomorrow. Enjoy your stay.” Hamish sent one last glare towards the woman before ushering Vera towards the elevator.

She was honestly surprised by just how upset he was over this and brought her free hand to his chest while turning so she was facing him as they waited for the elevator. It didn’t seem to calm him at all, but his arm tightened around her.

“Hey, it’s fine Hamish, really…” She tried to soothe him, but he just grit his teeth harder.

“It’s _not_ fine, Vera. Not only was that little display of hers _extremely_ unprofessional, but she was also extremely rude to you. And why? Because she was interested in one of her customers? That’s not…”

“It wasn’t _just_ that and you know it, Hamish. I’m a lot older than you…” His face went from anger to confusion as he looked down at her.

“What? No, you’re not. Why would you even say that?” Vera raised her brow and pulled back slightly to look at him better. He seemed genuinely shocked by her words. They had never talked about age; did he think she was younger than she was?

“Um, how young do you think I am?” She asked hesitantly and watched his eyes roll with what looked like very limited patience as he angled towards her more.

“Vera, I know you’re thirty-five, and though I don’t know exactly _when,_ I know your birthday is sometime in the next few months.” He eyed her curiously before pulling her in closer with a smirk. “You have no idea how old I am, do you?”

“Wait, how do you even know how old I am?”

“You keep a dated newspaper clipping of your scholarship award on your wall. It really wasn’t that hard to do the math.” He smiled as she blushed slightly at the obviousness and bent to kiss her. “I’ll be thirty at the end of September by the way.” He whispered before kissing her again.

“July for me, and that’s still a six-year gap.” Why was she trying to argue with him about this? She had no problem with the age difference, in fact she had thought he was younger. Although, sending a quick glance towards the receptionist that was sending odd looks towards them, she realized the way others looked at them apparently bothered her.

“How old do you think the receptionist is out of curiosity?” Vera’s gaze snapped back to him at the question and looked up at him in confusion.

“I don’t know, maybe twenty-one, twenty-two, why? No, Hamish it’s not the same thing…”

“So, it’s acceptable for her to be interested in and show affection for a man that’s eight, almost nine years her senior, no questions asked. But you are supposed to just shut up and deal with her rude assumptions as she questions your reservation? Just because you’re with a man _six_ years your junior?”

“The difference is _exactly_ that, yes. It’s socially acceptable for the man to be older, even significantly older, but an older woman is just considered a cougar.” She cringed at the last word as she heard Randall’s voice calling her that, the very _instant_ that he finds out they slept together.

“I have three things in response to that. First, anyone who plays by those childish, archaic and sexist views needs to adjust their way of thinking. Age doesn’t matter if you’re both consenting adults. Secondly, I _definitely_ don’t have an issue with what we have. I’d like to think that I’ve made that pretty clear to you by now.

“And lastly, but most importantly, you _can’t_ be a cougar. You were already in the dog family long before our trip to the Forest.”

“I’m sorry, _what?!”_ He grinned down at her confused, and _slightly_ insulted, face as he pulled her flush against him to whisper in her ear.

“You will _always_ be a fox to me.” He growled playfully and bit her earlobe gently as she burst out laughing and pushed him away from her.

“God, you are _so_ corny.” She saw the young woman looking at them again but instead of disapproval she saw both longing and hints of something else directed at them. Was that disgust? Jealousy? So distracted with the woman, she missed Hamish coming up behind her until he pulled her back flush against his front.

“ _Wrong word, but close_.” His seductive voice whispering in her ear as he pulled her more firmly into him had her eyes closing and a tiny moan slipping free. She quickly grabbed his hand from around her waist and began pulling him towards the stairs.

She’d made it three steps before the elevator dinged and he pulled her back towards him and into his chest as he guided her into the empty elevator. Both bags were dropped once they were inside, and his hands had her pushed against the back wall of the elevator before the doors even _started_ closing.

“ _Fuck_!” Sha gasped out as he dropped his lips to the weak point on her neck. She had just enough time before the doors closed to make eye contact with the receptionist and offered a territorial smirk as she slid her hand into the back pocket of Hamish’s pants and pulled him in closer.

Hamish heard the doors close and pulled himself away just long enough to press the button for their floor. When he turned back to Vera, instead of devouring her lips like he so desperately wanted to, he leaned his forehead against hers which earned a pout from Vera.

“Believe me Vera, if we weren’t being filmed right now and I didn’t think someone might open the door and get a free show, you would already have your pants off and I’d be on my knees, head buried between your thighs.” Vera growled and pulled him into her at the image, but knew he was right. It was the longest four floor elevator trip of her life.

The second they had their door closed Vera turned to pin him, but Hamish was quicker and had her in the air, legs wrapped around his waist as he began searching for the bedroom. Vera managed to see the bathroom just as they were rounding a corner and her hand shot out to grip the corner of the wall.

“Wait.” She panted and heard his deep growl from where he was lavishing kisses on her neck. “Shower first.”

“After.” He growled and pinned her against the wall she had been holding, one hand threading with hers as he held it against the wall above her head. His mouth was working its way down the low cut of her shirt and the haze of pleasure was making it hard for Vera to focus.

“Hamish, wait. _Shit!_ ” She moaned as he pushed against her roughly. Her response drew a throaty hum from him that vibrated pleasantly across her chest. “It was a long drive; I just want to freshen up a bit first…” His teeth pulled slightly on the skin of her breast before he pulled back to look at her with dark eyes.

“ _After_.” His ordered request was accompanied by a deep inhale as his eyes flashed silver before darkening further. If it were _anyone_ else, she would likely be mortified, but because it was him, her lust just skyrocketed. He didn’t want her to wash off the scent of her arousal until they were finished.

“After.” She agreed and moaned deeply as he jerked away from the wall, pulling her tight against him. There was no gentle laying her down on the bed, or slowly divesting her of her clothes. No, he tossed her to the middle of the bed and was on top of her before she came back down from the bounce.

Her shirt was ripped open, and her pants were yanked down before his mouth descended on her center. Again, his usual slow and sensual motions were absent. It was as if he was a starved animal and she was the first meal he’d gotten in weeks. He had her flying over the edge faster than she’d ever remembered.

Still his mouth continued its frenzied pace over her, one hand leaving her breasts to hold her hips still as he built her up again. _“Fuck Hamish!”_ She panted as pleasure soared through her entire body. She felt him leave her center as the haze slowly cleared and looked down to see him hovering over the hallow in her left hip.

Once she met his eyes, he bit down hard enough to pierce skin and her hips lifted off the bed as she threw her head back in bliss. She felt him hovering over her other hip and tried to lift her head, but he slid two fingers into her just as her head started rising.

Her head remained forced into the mattress, back bowed as her hips rolled against his hand. His tongue gently tracing the hallow in her hip was sending conflicting messages of whether what was happening right now was rough or soft. He curled his fingers and rubbed against just the right spot that had her beginning to crest. She felt the bite and her moan turned into a choked cry from the force of pleasure.

Her body was shaking, screaming at her that she was spent and couldn’t take anymore, while also craving more. He gently rolled her onto her stomach and let his hands caress along her sides as he devoured the plane of her back.

She felt his hands curl along her sides where her thighs met her hips and squeezed quickly as he brought his lips to her ear. “Does your offer still stand?” She heard the hunger in his voice, but the trace of hesitancy there had her clawing her way up from her blissful haze.

What offer was he talking about? She frantically tried to focus her scattered mind but was coming up blank. That is, until he lifted her hips slightly to give her a hint. “God _yes_!” Her pant was drowned out by his hungry growl.

He pulled up on both hips as she pushed herself up on shaky arms until she was balanced on her hands and knees before him. Hamish’s hunger was like a wildfire, but as he positioned himself at Vera’s entrance, he found himself pausing as fear began leaking through.

“We don’t have to do this, Hamish.” Vera said softly when he remained frozen behind her. She desperately wanted to, but if he wasn’t ready for this, she wasn’t going to force it.

“I _want_ to Vera, I just…” She looked over her shoulder to see his eyes swimming with lust as they roved over her, but his hands were hovering over her hips. They were shaking just enough to tell her he was terrified this would ruin things between them.

“Whether or not we do this is up to you, Hamish, but I promise you that no matter what you choose to do right now, _nothing_ is going to change between us.” He met her gaze and saw the promise in her eyes as his fear slowly melted away. She bit her lip gently as his hands landed on her ass and squeezed before slowly pushing into her.

She arched her back as his pace picked up and felt his hand find its way into her hair, pulling just enough to guide her head further back, but not to the point where it would hurt. Her moans grew louder which only encouraged him to speed up.

She felt her arms wanting to give out and tightened her grip in the blankets in an effort to remain upright for him, but she felt his hand slide down to rest between the middle of her shoulders before he pushed down. The breath she didn’t realize she was holding to keep herself up broke from her lips and she allowed him to push her down to the bed.

Once her head was sideways on the mattress, both hands came back up to her hips as his pace became frenzied again. Hamish watched her face tighten as she went silent before a choked scream tore from her. He only lasted several deep thrusts before following after and collapsing on the bed beside her.

That had been one of his favorite positions before it had been ruined. Even his memory of it paled in comparison to what they just did. He knew it was because it was with Vera, but _damn_ if that didn’t wipe away all of his previous hang-ups with the position.

He looked over and saw Vera sprawled out on her stomach from where she’d fallen, unwilling to move at all. She was the definition _fucked boneless_ , but she was watching him with a small smile. He knew she was trying to make sure he was okay.

He grinned as he rolled over to her and matched her position. Both were on their stomachs, sides touching. His arm wrapped around her back as he rested his head on her arm and smiled at her.

“You’re amazing.” He whispered before kissing her. The position they were in wasn’t ideal, but it held an intimacy to it that would be hard to replicate without their connection. When he pulled back and laid his head down again a few inches from her face he saw her flushed face smiling softly.

“You’re pretty amazing yourself, Hamish.” He beamed at her before turning onto his side and pulling her into him. “I want to shower, but I also never want to move again.” She chuckled slightly as he let out a low rumble against her neck.

“I’m okay with you showering tomorrow. You smell incredible right now.” He proved his point by breathing deeply and humming.

“I smell like sweat and sex.”

“I know. Like I said, _incredible_.” His growl was low as he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. He pulled her leg up until it was draped across both of his before bringing her hand up over his heart and holding it there.

Vera knew he was telling her that he loved her while keeping his promise to wait until she was ready. She turned her head into his shoulder and kissed him as she slid her hand out from under his. She felt him tense slightly until she pulled his hand against her own heart and looked up at him with a shy smile.

He relaxed under her when he realized she wasn’t pulling away and pulled her tighter against him. It took a bit of squirming from him, which earned _several_ disgruntled sleepy protests from Vera, but he was finally able to get the folded blanket at the foot of the bed far enough up where he could reach it.

As soon as it was draped over them, Vera’s protests ceased, and she nuzzled further into him with a sleepy contented sigh. He trailed his fingers along her side as her breathing grew deeper and couldn’t stop the happy smile as he heard her slurred confession.

“Lovu Haish.” He kissed the top of her head as his fingers continued along her side.

“I love you too, Vera.” He whispered as he listened to her deep steady breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course they have to go at it the second they are alone in a new hotel 😂...especially with rude receptionist and changing plans last night! Next chapter will have the same feel as this one (yup, probably more smut 🤷♀️) before we really start their journey...so you have at least one more chapter to breathe easy 😏.


	118. Room Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...I may have accidentally lied when I said this one would be all fluff...it gets a bit heavy for a bit in the middle...woops...
> 
> On a positive note, I FINALLY got through planning ch. 14 of Bonded...still sluggishly making my way out of writer's block but at least I'm seeing some progress!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN

Hamish was almost asleep when he remembered the alarm still needed to be set. Not wanting to wake Vera to search for his cell in the discarded pile of clothes, he reached over to the desk phone and dialed down to the front desk.

 _“Front desk, how can I help you?”_ Hamish recognized the voice as the same receptionist from earlier and felt a bubble of irritation rising at her treatment towards Vera earlier. Vera was passed out against him and likely wouldn’t wake for several hours, but they were in a high-end hotel, hadn’t eaten dinner and he knew they wouldn’t be serving too much longer.

“I’d like a wake-up call for room 408 for seven tomorrow. I’d also like to order room service, if possible.” He said quietly and felt Vera stirring against him as he waited for the woman to pull up their reservation. A satisfied smirk worked its way onto his face as he heard her embarrassed cough before she told him to continue.

“Is the kitchen serving steak tonight by chance?” He tried to lower his voice, but Vera still shifted against him and let out a low grumble in her sleep.

Hamish heard another cough on the other end of the line and couldn’t help the smirk growing larger at the girl’s discomfort when she told them the kitchen was serving steak with a side of mashed potatoes and green beans.

“I’ll do two steak dinners, medium and medium well, and a bottle of their most popular red…” He paused before looking down at Vera who was furrowing her brow and scowling slightly in her sleep by this point. Still, the look of irritation and the way she seemed unsettled by the woman’s treatment of their age gap earlier had him wanting _just_ a little revenge for her.

“We’d also like two bowls of strawberries, one sliced and the other whole berries, whip cream and chocolate sauce…” He paused to take a breath, _mostly_ to let the girl shift in discomfort and was just about to add vanilla ice cream when Vera’s sleepy irritated voice came through.

“You can’t tire me out and then not let me sleep, Hamish. That’s just not right _or_ safe…are you on the phone right now? Oh my _god_ , Hamish! You need to warn me!” He watched as her red face dropped back into his side with an embarrassed groan.

“And two bowls of vanilla ice cream please.” He cringed as he heard the girl’s embarrassed voice reviewing the order before telling him it’d be up within the hour. He only wanted to tease her a _little_ , he wasn’t expecting Vera to wake up and start talking with a sleepy sex laden voice.

“We forgot to set an alarm and I didn’t want to wake you…”

“Well, you failed on that one, didn’t you…wait. Why did you ask for ice cream with a wake-up request?” He could hear her irritation slipping into the cute dessert loving Vera as he smiled down at her and told her what he had ordered. She looked up at him with eyes full of excitement but also curiosity.

“If you didn’t want to wake me and were calling for a wake-up call, why did you order room service?” He cringed at that and saw her brow raise further in question.

“I didn’t exactly _plan_ to order room service until I heard the receptionist pick up…I just wanted to make it clear to her…” Vera’s eyes went wide at his awkward explanation and buried her face into his chest.

“Hamish! You already made it _extremely_ clear to her when you pinned me to the elevator wall! Now you’re just torturing the poor girl.” Vera would _not_ admit that she thought it was actually really sweet, and a little hot, that he cared enough to soothe her wounded ego.

“Well, now it’s even _more_ clear. And maybe next time she won’t make such idiotic assumptions. If a man walks in with a goddess, less stunning then you of course, she’ll just let them be happy.”

“You are _such_ a sap.” She kept her face buried in his chest to hide the flush, but her arm tightened around him.

“Ah, yes, but only for you, my dear.” _Shit_ was his immediate thought as she tensed. It was so easy to get sucked in to banter with her and cross that invisible line of what they knew but left unspoken because she wasn’t ready.

“Did they say how long it would be?” She asked and he heard the slight tremor in her voice. He knew she wasn’t upset that he’d called her that, but he could also tell she wasn’t quite able to handle what being called _dear_ meant. Shoving down the small wave of pain, he relayed the estimated time given.

“I’m going to shower. Don’t look at me like that, Hamish.” He chuckled lightly at her response, mostly because her face was still tucked into his side and she couldn’t actually see the pout, but still knew he _was_ wearing it.

“I feel gross now that everything’s dried. Besides, If I shower _now_ that means I can sleep in tomorrow morning.” He could hear the happiness in her voice at the thought and begrudgingly released her. She paused once she was standing and looked back at him.

“I want you to come with me, but _just_ to shower. I don’t think I can handle…will you join me?” She finished with a small fumble. What was it about him that made her into such a clinger?! She didn’t really care whatever the answer was as he stood with a happy smile and kissed her softly.

“I promise not to ravish you unless you specifically ask me to. Well, for tonight at least.” She saw his cheeky smile as he pulled back and started walking out of the bedroom. Vera stared after him for about thirty seconds before deciding _one_ more round couldn’t possibly hurt.

Hurt? No. _Completely_ exhaust her already spent body? Yes. He had carried her back to their bed, wearing a huge grin, after her legs had given out. Hamish was now propped up on his elbow lying beside her as he trailed his fingers over her sides and stomach.

She watched with tired eyes as he mapped her body with his eyes and fingers before he leaned forward and kissed one of the bites near her hip. Her hand came up to gently thread her fingers through his hair, but with how tired she was, it just flopped onto the side of his face.

“Sorry.” She chuckled lightly when he looked up at her with shock thinking she had just slapped him for the action. He smiled when he realized she just wanted her hand in his hair and kissed the mark again as he guided her hand into his hair, before resuming his previous position.

“Were you the one that healed them?” Her question was quiet as she watched his fingers trace the mark gently. Hamish looked towards her eyes and nodded.

“I didn’t want to risk them scaring if you didn’t want them to. And since you weren’t…” His words died off as the fear from the other day flooded through him again. He had almost lost all hope that she was going to return to him when she had muttered that _‘he would understand’_.

She was right, he would have understood. It still didn’t stop him from brokenly pleading with her to please come back to him for hours after he heard the words. It didn’t stop the nightmares of her pulse not thrumming against his fingers when he checked to see if she was still alive.

“Hamish…” Vera started when they heard the knock on the door. He gave her a forced smile and excused himself to get their meals. She tiredly pushed herself up until she was propped against the headrest, knees drawn up and pulled the blanket up to her chest.

Vera’s frown was still on her face when Hamish walked in. His false smile dropped the second he saw her and let out a deep sigh. He left the cart and walked over towards the bed before sitting in front of her.

“I’m sor…”

“No Hamish, _you_ have absolutely _nothing_ to apologize for.” Vera cut off as she reached forward and grabbed his hand. “I’m so sorry for wanting to give up.” She choked out and watched his eyes clench before he moved closer to her.

“It’s fine, Vera. You came back, you didn’t give up…”

“But you thought I did, didn’t you? Cassie told me that you heard me saying I didn’t want to leave.” His face froze slightly before he finally nodded and tightened his grip on her hand.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to return to you, Hamish. I just…I had my baby girl back in my arms and she was, god Hamish. She was so _perfect_. I didn’t want to lose her again.” His pained watery eyes met hers and she reached her free hand forward and cupped the side of his face with a soft smile.

“I could have stayed. I was ready to give up. But the thought of never being able to see you again, even in death? I couldn’t pay that cost, Hamish. I will _never_ be able to pay that cost. I am _so_ sorry I scared you, that was never my intention. Can you forgive me?”

She needed him to understand she hadn’t wanted to leave him. She would never want to leave him if it were possible. Hamish’s face relaxed and she saw he believed her. It wasn’t a magical fix for the trauma they both suffered, but it was an important first step.

“Vera, there’s nothing to forgive. You were given an impossible choice, and no one would fault you for choosing either way. I just wish you didn’t have to choose…”

“Cassie mentioned that she never should have let Ally get me because of the choice I would have to make, but I’m glad she did. Hamish, she has a life there, friends. She’s _happy_. And I got the opportunity to share in her happiness for a short time. It was the hardest choice I have ever had to make to leave her, but I wouldn’t trade the time I was given with her for anything. No matter how much it hurts.”

Vera watched Hamish open his mouth to ask a question before shaking his head slightly as if to rid the thought from his mind. Hoping she was reading him right; she brought her other hand down so both of hers were holding his.

“Cassie is _also_ happy, Hamish. And she’s still looking out for you in whatever way she can.” She offered with a small voice and watched as his eyes teared up slightly while his head nodded.

“She had such a big heart…”

“She still does. She took in my daughter when she didn’t have to. She loves my daughter and treats her like her own while making sure Ally knows that _I’m_ her mother. Ally even has her name engraved above her bed in Cassie’s home. Her home is littered with children’s toys and she even has pictures with Ally and her friend. She made a life there Hamish, she’s happy.”

Vera watched as if a huge weight had been lifted from Hamish and knew the feeling. When she saw Ally had a life, her guilt over failing her lessened. She still missed her terribly and still can’t help but blame herself, but it made it easier knowing how happy she was.

“Thank you, Vera.” He said before leaning in to kiss her softly. He would always love Cassie and feel the agony of her death but knowing this helped to ease that pain. Vera kissed him back, bringing both hands to cup his face and hold him there just a few extra seconds.

“We should eat before it gets cold. I already put the ice cream in the freezer, Vera. Dinner _first_.” He added when her excited eyes moved over the cart before dropping slightly at the absence of the dessert.

“I’m a grown woman, Hamish. I can have dessert first.” He ignored her protest with a crooked smile as he handed her, her dinner and leaned in to peck her lips gently.

“You’ll spoil your appetite like that. It will still be there waiting after you eat…”

“You’re no fun.” She grumbled but took a spoonful of potatoes.

“I’m pretty sure I proved earlier that I can be a _lot_ of fun, no?” He watched her send a glare his way but didn’t miss the subtle flush on her chest at the memory of him literally making her ask him to ravish her so he didn’t break his promise.

When he finally caved to her argument that she’d had enough of her dinner, he presented the ice cream and toppings and watched her wide happy eyes before the hum of pleasure at the dessert. He would have _never_ guessed that she had such a weak spot for dessert if he hadn’t seen their effect on her.

He had just been toying with the receptionist when he ordered the strawberries, whip cream and chocolate sauce, but watching her happily eating it, he thought it may be something to bring up with her at a later point. Vera watched his eyes growing darker with lust as he stared at her bowl and raised her brow in question. He flushed lightly and cleared his throat.

“I was just thinking that in the future maybe we might consider doing this _without_ the ice cream.” Both brows rose before her eyes dropped to his bowl.

“You don’t like whip cream…”

“Yes, but you do. And I do like chocolate sauce.” He interrupted quickly before flushing at how eager he sounded. He watched her turn her spoon upside down before putting the dessert in her mouth and slowly removing the spoon as her eyes roved up and down his torso.

“I would have to say that I would be _very_ interested.” She purred and if he didn’t know without a shadow of a doubt that she was both way too tired and too sore to try it now, he would have already had her on her back.

“ _Perfect_. We’ll need to make sure we’re stocked up when we get home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit heavy, but soo important for both of them. 
> 
> And am I the only one laughing at Hamish trying so hard not to wake Vera, but failing miserably?


	119. Off The Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews last chapter! I did plan to work on Bonded first today and then focus on this chapter...but apparently working on Claimed won out. It is a shorter chapter, though.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND NINETEEN

Vera had barely been able to get ready for bed before passing out again. Hamish heard her growling darkly when the wake-up call that he had forgotten to cancel rang through their room. He had thankfully been able to coax her back to sleep before she got _too_ upset though.

By the time they were on their way to the lobby to check out, she was in a much happier mood. She had a coffee in one hand and the other wrapped tightly in Hamish’s. The brunette woman behind the counter, unlike her coworker last night, greeted them both with a bright smile as she checked them out.

Hamish drove the short distance to the trails so Vera could try to see if anything was familiar, but it had been so long since Amalie had tried to leave Germany that everything looked different. When they got there, she looked over some of the ‘must see’ attractions on each trail and held it in a way she hoped Amalie would be able to see it.

“Anything look familiar to you?” She asked, pretending she was asking Hamish. She felt Amalie’s presence in her mind, but the woman didn’t seem very confident when she picked the longest, most difficult trail. None of the others looked even remotely familiar to her, however.

Due to the difficulty and length of the trail, they both had to check in with the front desk and get special wristbands. As they waited in line Hamish saw the fit man behind the counter look up from the band he was applying to look at the line.

His eyes snapped back to Vera before looking her up and down from their place in line. Hamish is positive the man would use the excuse of deeming whether or not she was fit enough to hike, but Hamish knew better by the way the man’s stance chanced slightly.

He knew it was an excuse to check her out in her hiking clothes. Vera also picked up on it and casually stepped in front of Hamish from their place in line and pulled both his arms around her. One strategically placed across her chest, the other low around her waist.

He knew it was her way of blocking most of her assets from the man’s hungry gaze, while still looking casual to not cause a scene. Still, he loved the jealous look the man sent him. He felt Vera chuckling lightly as she felt his reaction and tilted her head towards him with a raised brow and amused smirk.

“I can’t help it when you do things like this. It’s beyond hot.” He defended lowly and watched her bite her lip in an attempt to stifle her humor. He heard a few older teens a few places back arguing and couldn’t help the chuckle when he heard the girl’s _“why don’t_ you _ever hold me like that in public?!”._

“What?” Vera asked around her own smile. He signaled with his eyes over his shoulder and she leaned sideways in his arms to look back at the young couple, well the young girl, _trying_ to imitate their embrace.

Where her and Hamish looked comfortable and in unison, the young couple looked awkward and uncomfortable. The young man was clearly _not_ about public displays of affection at all but wanted to make his girlfriend happy.

Vera chuckled lightly as she brought herself back up to lean against his chest. She didn’t bother responding, just closed her eyes as she allowed herself to enjoy the calming embrace while they waited.

“Are you two experienced hikers?” The man asked gruffly, and Vera’s eyes opened at the sudden tone shift from the man. She found it amusing how jealous this man was of Hamish. He knew nothing about her other than the way she looked, and yet he thought she would be interested in him. Thought she would be open with her affection to anyone.

“Considering we just finished a two-month backpacking trip through rough terrain, yeah, I’d say we’re experienced hikers. Wouldn’t you say so, hun?” Hamish’s grip tightened and she felt him responding against her backside with her words.

“Absolutely.” Hamish gave her that crooked smirk before looking towards the man behind the counter. “Do you need us to sign something saying we understand the risks?” The man’s attention shifted to Hamish and he handed the release forms to them both to sign.

“Wrists?” He asked and Vera tightened her grip on his hand across her chest before holding out her other one. It was clear she didn’t want him to remove the one blocking the man’s view. “Entrance is to the left of the car park. Enjoy your hike.”

Vera stayed in front of Hamish on the way out, not wanting the man to even get a glimpse of her ass in the spandex leggings. Hamish would never say it, but he was totally okay with her decision. He would rather the view of her ass in those pants be for _his_ viewing pleasure only. Much like his boxer clad self was just for hers.

They grabbed their packs from the car and started off down the twelve-mile path. “Let me know if anything looks familiar at any point.” Vera said while looking up at Hamish to not make any of the other hikers around them suspicious. She felt the confirmation from Amalie and found herself unconsciously linking her hand with Hamish’s.

They made it about five miles in before Vera felt Amalie pulling her off the trail. She could tell the woman wasn’t positive, but she still guided Hamish into a sitting position to ‘rest’ as the two hikers behind them continued on.

Once she was sure no one would see them, Vera took his hand again and started guided him away from the path, following Amalie’s tentative pulls. Perhaps two and a half hours into the extremely difficult terrain, no longer realistically possible to not use both hands to pull themselves up the steep incline, they came to an abrupt stop.

“ _Really_?!” Vera growled as there was an easily ninety-foot sheer rock wall blocking their path and stretched out as far on either side that she could see. She still felt Amalie’s pull and almost a whisper of _‘yes’_.

“There’s no way!” Vera argued with Amalie as she inspected the terrifying path. She could see a number of tiny ledges starting about a foot higher than she’d be able to reach, but no other way to scale it. When she felt Hamish’s hands land on her hips and turn her to see him grinning, she shook her head.

“This is nothing for a wolf. Do you trust us?” He watched Vera’s eyes widen before looking back at the huge wall. “You’ll be totally safe, I promise. And it’ll be _fun_!” He grinned deeper as he felt the slight tremor work its way through her.

“I’m really not a fan of heights, Hamish…” She knew it sounded a bit silly, she could easily slow her fall if they slipped, but she still couldn’t get over it. Hamish dropped his lips to her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Keep your face against Tundra. He’ll make sure you don’t slip and we’ll be at the top in no time. I promise you’ll be safe the entire time.” She stared up the cliff once more before nodding shakily. Vera felt Hamish step back and watched him loosen the straps of his pack completely before signaling her to do the same with her own.

Once both packs were loose, he paused and closed his eyes, listening to make sure no one was nearby or up on the cliff’s edge. Sensing no one, he stripped and shoved his clothes in his pack before allowing Tundra out. Vera couldn’t help the small chuckle as she watched the wolf carefully lift both packs onto his back.

The second he stepped towards her though, her frown was back in place and she unconsciously stepped back. She watched Tundra cock his head before holding out his hand for her to take. Vera looked to Tundra’s eyes and saw his promise to not let anything happen to her.

“Okay…okay.” She whispered to herself, trying to ignore the tremor, before slipping her hand into Tundra’s and letting the wolf pull her into his chest as he hunched down slightly. Once her face was buried against his neck, arms wrapped around his neck and shoulders she felt Tundra purr slightly before he wrapped an arm tight around her waist and stood to his full height.

She felt her feet leave the ground and tightened her grip as she brought her legs around him and buried her face further into his neck. Tundra tightened his hold on her waist and huffed slightly as he nosed her head asking if she was ready.

She nodded hesitantly and felt the jerk as Tundra bent and kicked off the ground sucking the air from her lungs. She could feel herself breathing heavier as the jumping continued, knowing she was getting further and further from the ground. When she felt Tundra’s grip beginning to loosen, panic swept through her and she clung tighter, trying not to fall.

In her panic she couldn’t make the connection that her arms and legs tightened more than they would have been able to if Tundra was still in control. That her face was also no longer pressed against fur, but skin. Hamish felt her heart racing against his chest and brought his hand not holding her to thread through her hair.

“Vera, hey, it’s okay. We’re here and away from the edge. Everything is fine.” He soothed but it still took several minutes for her muscles to relax enough to let go. If he knew she hadn’t been so petrified, he would’ve teased her for the flush on her face as she finally let go. Instead, he just leaned forward and kissed her before beginning to get dressed.

Vera had thankfully mostly relaxed again within another twenty minutes of hiking, but she was much too quiet, even for her, which worried him. He watched her veer off slightly, getting some direction from Amalie he was sure, but when he looked closer, he could see the small cave.

“We should probably rest here for the night.” He gave a nod, though she wasn’t looking to see it, and followed her in. Once they were positive there was nothing in the cave, Vera went about pulling out her sleeping bag before starting to collect wood for a fire.

He knew something was bothering her. He didn’t think it was how scared she had gotten in front of him, she wouldn’t still be worked up over it. There had to be something else. Instead of pushing her, he helped her set up camp and quickly left to hunt something for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup...that 'something else' will come up next chapter...now, back to planning Bonded, which thanks to WereKitte helping through some major plot writer's block in Bonded the other day that I've been stuck at, I should be able to start cruising on that one again...I hope.


	120. Appeasing Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had planned to work on Bonded after posting the last chapter, but all of your lovely comments made me and my Muse so happy and excited, she demanded we get this one out before I go to bed (it's almost 1am here)

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY

They had just finished eating in complete silence when Hamish felt her shift until she was leaning against him and take his hand. He looked over and saw her frowning deeply as she stared at the fire. Hamish moved behind her and leaned back against the cave wall, pulling her back with him as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Do you remember right before we left for the forest that Holger mentioned I can hunt?” She asked quietly after several minutes of silence. He gave a quiet hum, not wanting to startle her out of sharing whatever was bothering her and he felt her tense slightly before taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t _want_ to learn. I hated everything about it.” He wasn’t sure why she was telling him this now, but he knew it was somehow related to why she’d been so silent.

“See, my father wanted a son, but my mom couldn’t have kids after me, so I was all he got. Hunting was a thing _“Stone’s had to learn how to do”._ She spat and he tightened his grip at the pain he heard behind the biting words.

“I wanted to impress him. He was always so disappointed when I didn’t live up to his expectations and knowing he wanted a son, but I was all he would get made it that much harder. His disappointment was so much worse when it came to learning to hunt. I didn’t want to upset him, so I focused, and I got good, _really_ good.” She took a deep breath and tightened her grip on his hand.

“His friends were impressed by how great of a shot I became over the summer, and he was finally _proud_ to have me around him and take me to events and trips. The problem with hunting, as I’m sure you and Tundra know, is that sometimes there just _isn’t_ anything around. I don’t know why he couldn’t understand that.” Hamish already didn’t like the man, but he felt Tundra’s anger rising with his as Vera continued.

“It was maybe four trips back-to-back one season where I didn’t get anything. His friends started making remarks and teasing him saying that he should’ve expected it when he chose to have a girl instead of a boy. They were just joking, but he didn’t handle it well and his disappointment steadily turned to anger…”

“Did he hit you?” Hamish snarled suddenly as his grip tightened further.

“Me? No.” His fury remained, but it was no longer blinding. “Other things? Yes. Now that I’m older and looking back at it though, he probably would have hit me if it kept up. He…he had a horrible temper Hamish.” She knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that if she hadn’t left the house after she’d been kicked out, and tried to go back, her father absolutely would have hit her.

“He made it crystal clear to me that I had to bag a kill on our next trip. My mom _tried_ to pretend I was sick to get me out of the trip, but I didn’t understand at the time that she was trying to protect me. I just didn’t want to disappoint my dad.

“It…it wasn’t going well. His friends all brought their sons and each of them managed to bag something. But not me. There was nothing in my section of the woods. The last night of the trip, my dad didn’t let me eat because I hadn’t contributed at all, so why should I get to partake. Again, fourteen year old me just figured that was a normal thing and it made me even more determined to get something the next day.”

Vera heard Hamish growling quietly behind her as her breathing picked up again. She turned slightly so she could tuck her head under his chin as the scenes from that day played over in her mind.

“There was maybe an hour left before the trip was over and he pulled me aside and threatened that if I didn’t catch anything, there would be severe consequences when we got home. He also told me that I would never be welcome on any trips with him ever again if I kept embarrassing him. In my naïve desperate need to appease him, I ventured into a restricted section hoping there would be more animals where people weren’t hunting.

“I found out _after_ that it was closed off because the cliffs edge wasn’t stable. I was so focused on trying to get the deer that I didn’t notice the ground giving way until after I got the shot off. I did get a kill, but I also fell. I broke my arm and leg and hit my head hard enough to cause a fracture and a severe concussion from the fall. My dad and his friends came running from the shot thankfully, but uh…it took them a long time to actually find me.”

He heard the heavy strain in her voice now and tightened his hold on her as his hand began soothing motions against her back. How long had she been lying broken at the bottom of the cliff?

“My dad was furious when they finally found me, his friend actually had to step in before he could get to me because he was scared of what my dad would do to me. He told my dad to go collect the deer and he’d take me to the hospital and call my mom. How fucked up is that?

“His fourteen-year-old daughter fell off a cliff, has broken bones and visible head trauma, but he’s so upset at her for falling, he wouldn’t even check to see if I was okay?! He didn’t even come to the hospital afterwards while I was recovering because it was _my_ fault. And you know what the worst part was? I _honestly_ thought it was my fault he was so angry with me. If I had just been more careful, I never would’ve embarrassed him by falling…”

“Vera…I…no.” Hamish was beyond furious, to the point he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence for several seconds. “He should have treated you better.” He heard her humorless laugh and dropped his lips to her head.

“There was a good thing that came from that event. I _never_ had to go hunting or join him on any hunting or business trips again. The recovery took me out for the rest of the season and by the time the next year rolled around…well, by that point there was a whole new reason he didn’t want _anything_ to do with me.”

“You didn’t deserve _any_ of that, Vera. You were just a kid…”

“My mom was happy at least that I didn’t have to go on the trips anymore. And it was really nice spending time with her when my father was away. She became a totally different person when he was gone, happier.”

Hamish knew Vera had a better relationship with her mother as a child, but things still ended badly. To him, neither was worth Vera’s time but he heard the longing in her voice.

“Do you miss her?”

“I try not to think about her.” She responded quickly with bite to her words before sighing. “It’s hard though. There was a time when we were inseparable, _unless_ it was related to my father.” He was surprised when he heard her laugh against his chest suddenly.

“When he was gone, we used to get a whole bunch of junk food, watch these ridiculous romcoms and pull out this huge blue binder she kept hidden from my father. In it were all these silly ideas we had put together for my future wedding…” He felt her tense against him as soon as she realized what she had just admitted to.

Hamish meanwhile pulled on all of his self-control to keep his breathing steady. At least when she was younger, she _had_ wanted to get married. She even had a marriage book. That gave him a glimmer of hope for _their_ future.

“I think that’s common with mothers and daughters, no?” He asked nonchalantly, hoping she wasn’t going to close up on him. She stayed tense for several seconds before slowly relaxing.

“I wouldn’t know to be honest. I was the quiet, studious, stay in the library while everyone hung out at lunch type in school. Not many girlfriends to gossip with about it.”

“You know, somehow that doesn’t surprise me at all.” He said while laughing until he realized what it sounded like. “Oh my god, no, wait. I didn’t mean it doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t have friends. I _meant_ it doesn’t surprise me that you were the quiet studious type. It _does_ surprise me that you didn’t have friends.” He dropped his head as he realized _that_ didn’t sound right either.

“Would you like a shovel?” Vera asked chuckling lightly against his chest. He heard her genuine amusement and released a breath of relief.

“No, I think I’m digging myself a hole deep enough on my own without the help of a shovel, thanks.”

“I’m not sure if it was because I was quiet and a little weird or if it was how high up my father was in our town, but no one really wanted to be friends. I was actually okay with it though. It allowed me to focus on my studies and that eventually made it so I got the scholarship to leave.”

“It sounds really lonely.” Vera heard the hesitancy in his voice and knew he wasn’t sure if he should push her or not. She debated for a minute before turning into him further.

“Perhaps, but I didn’t really notice it at the time. I was too busy with schoolwork, or trying to make my father happy, or being forced to go to parti…es.” _Shit_ she thought as she fumbled over the last word. She had been forced to go to a lot of parties as a kid, but there was only one that stood out in her mind.

“I know _all_ about the forced parties! Did you have to learn to ballroom dance as well?” Vera’s relief was noticeable, and Hamish knew there was something there that she didn’t want to discuss.

“Different social class Hamish. Remember, scholarship kid.” He cringed at her tone. He had just assumed her family had been wealthy when she’d said how her father was high up and that she had been cut off when they kicked her out. He forgot that some towns _weren’t_ wealthy areas

“But I would like to hear more about this dancing you were forced to learn.” He could tell it was a two-part request. One to avoid focusing on whatever it was about the parties she’d been forced to attend and two, she was actually interested.

He debated for several seconds before carefully standing with her. She looked at him with a trace of hurt in her eyes and he realized she thought he was leaving the conversation after she had just opened up to him. He held up one finger and pulled out his phone and began typing.

She watched on, completely baffled as he finished typing and signaled her to follow him outside the cave. She raised her brow but did as requested. As soon as he stopped in a small clearing, she realized he was going to do.

“You don’t have to Hamish; I was mostly teasing.” He looked up from his phone and gave her that half smile that she loved so much. She didn’t register what he was doing right away, too focused on him guiding her right hand to hold behind his neck.

“No, Hamish, I don’t know how to dance…” Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t remove her hand from his neck.

“Just follow my lead. No one else is here besides us.” He whispered bringing her closer to him and started the song he had pulled up, Bryan Adams _Everything I do, I do it for you¸_ quickly tucking the phone in his shirt pocket and bringing his right hand to the base of her head.

She felt him sway slightly and bring his left hand to her waist as his right guided her into an arching semi dip before pulling her back up. His hand on her waist guided her to sway slightly before he lifted it and encompassed her hand holding his neck.

He lifted her hand from his neck and while walking to the side, guided her into two fluid spins before releasing her hand and stepping behind her. She felt him grab both her hands and bring them to her front as he swayed slightly.

Without releasing her hands, he performed a number of twisting spins before he released her left hand and guided her right back to his neck, his right hand coming back to her waist and encouraging her to turn with him.

His left hand came up to take her right again before spinning her out, dropping her right hand as he took hold of her left with his right. He stepped closer and behind her, pulling her left arm across her and capturing her right hand in his left before dipping her backwards, never breaking eye contact.

When he brought her back up from the dip, he dropped her right hand and spun her out before spinning her back into him. He directed her left arm across his shoulders before dropping his right to her waist and linking their other hands together before spinning her out again.

He pulled her back in and guided her left arm to his right shoulder as his right arm came up beneath hers to rest on her shoulder blade, their other hands linked again. He smiled down at her before using his left hand to twirl her several times.

He fluidly brought her back to him and guided both her hands behind his head and dropping both of his to her back as he pulled her closer to him for several seconds before linking their hands and twirling her again. His right arm came up beneath hers again to rest on her shoulder blade and linked their other hands as he guided them in wide turns before spinning her.

He gave her a beaming smile that she returned as he spun her out again, but instead of the same steps he’d been doing, he did something different. He guided her left arm fully around his neck as his right arm wrapped around her back and his left hand grabbed under her left knee and lifted her into several twirls before slowly letting her knee drop.

When both legs were back on the ground, he guided her hand from around his neck and pushed until their arms were fully extended between them before doing several more confusing rotations between them. He brought his right arm up under hers again but kept his left extended after guiding her right to his neck.

He used his left hand to twirl her by her right hand again and pulled her back flush against him. Movement ceased for a second as their gazes remained fixed and breathing heavy until he slowly brought her right hand up in his left, his right arm under hers and resting on her shoulder blade.

He guided her into a low dip, maintaining eye contact as he pulled her up and into a spin. He brought her back in and was hummed happily when her hand found its way to the back of his neck just as his had come to rest on hers as he brought their foreheads together before dipping her lowly as the song ended.

He waited to pull her back up until the last note rang out and lifted her back up and straight into a deep kiss. He knew from the lap dance she had given him that she would be able to dance if guided, but he didn’t expect it to be so fluid, especially for the first time. She hadn’t fought him at all.

Vera was flushed from the dance. It was intimate and sensual and _god_ , she wanted to dance with him again. She had at least _one_ thing to thank his parents for if she ever met them.

“That was incredible, Hamish.” She whispered when he pulled back from the kiss. He flushed slightly at the praise, but she pulled him down to kiss him again.

“I can teach you some other dances when we get back. If you’d like?” He did actually enjoy dancing, but only with partners _he_ chose. Not the girls his parents had forced him to dance with. It did at least teach him how to be an excellent leader and teacher. And he’d been forced to dance to this song so many times, he still remembered all the steps which definitely helped make this dance with Vera so fluid.

“Yes please. Wait, you mean at home, right? Not in a studio or with other people around?” She clarified. She wasn’t sure she would be able to let go of control and _feel_ the music with others gawking at them.

“Yes, it’s much more personal that way. Stress and discomfort are the things that will kill a dance. Wherever you are most comfortable would be best. At least until you learn the steps well enough.” He was excited to teach her as many dances as she’d like to learn, but he was going to _try_ to encourage her to learn the tango first. She definitely already had the hip movements down.

“I’m looking forward to it.” She said before kissing him deeply. She broke the kiss with dark eyes and a seductive smile as she began pulling him back towards their bed in the cave.

* * *

This is literally the exact dance Vera and Hamish are doing, just Hamish is guiding Vera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzBLf-8y0GA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vera's dad is such a fucking asshole.😡
> 
> Hamish just strikes me as someone who would've been forced to learn to dance and would have been really good so I wanted to include that here...but as someone who doesn't dance (but wishes I could) I spent way too long searching for the perfect dance video on youtube for them and basically wrote what I saw...hopefully it wasn't too hard to follow...if so...well, I included the video... It's really hard to write dance scenes btw...Next time, I'm just going to say 'yup, they danced' 😂


	121. Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh...I really thought this chapter came much later in the arc...but um...here's that other shoe dropping...sorry 😬😬

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-ONE

Hamish woke to a noise coming from somewhere outside the cave. As he focused harder, he could make out multiple voices. Knowing they weren’t supposed to be here, he gently roused Vera. She immediately made a noise in protest, but his hand covering her mouth had her eyes snapping open to meet his concerned ones.

“I hear people approaching, we need to leave before they find us.” He urged quietly and went to climb out of the sleeping bag. Vera’s hand reached out and pulled him back down with her finger to her lips.

“Don’t move at all or you’ll risk breaking the spell, the quick casting is temperamental.” She ordered before he watched her pull out a knife and slice into her hand. Her hands did a series of intricate motions before she froze, and he felt the pulse of magic leave her hands and surround him.

They both watched as the two hikers that had been following them before Vera pulled them off the path walk in front of the cave. She felt Hamish’s hand on her back clench slightly but otherwise remained perfectly still.

Both of them saw the bowl the female was holding as they stood at the mouth of the cave and looked in. They weren’t ordinary hikers as they suspected. Praxis had followed them. Hamish felt Vera’s shuddering breath as the man stepped into the mouth of the cave but didn’t appear to see them.

“No one’s here, Abby. Are you sure it was her hair that you grabbed?” He asked and Vera tensed further. She had slipped up by not thinking to cover their tracks and allowed herself to lead the enemy straight to their doorstep.

“Unless he lets other women with long black hair lean all over him, yes, it’s her hair.” The girl said with clear annoyance before cocking her head and eyeing the man beside her. “You think he does, don’t you?”

“Sleep with other women behind her back? Absolutely. I mean, she’s _alright_ looking for an older woman, but a guy has needs. There’s no way the rigid stuck up ice queen can keep any man, much less a wolf, satisfied enough to keep them from straying. And we all already _know_ him and that Durov girl were fucking. Probably still are to be honest, she’s hot. Why else would she go from fawning all over him and the Grand Magus to trying to attack her?!”

“True. Maybe it’s her hair, then? Honestly, he should’ve just stayed with _her_ , they were much better matched. Salvador also wouldn’t be so insistent in going after Tundra if he wasn’t trying to work over the head of The Order for some reason. Though, she does seem more concerned with him then any of the other Knights, so maybe she still would?”

Vera knew at least _most_ of what they were saying wasn’t true, but she still felt a stab of pain at the idea of him sleeping with other women, especially Ms. Durov. She felt Hamish’s arm curl further over her back until he had his hand wrapped around her hip and squeezed.

She turned her head slowly and saw his eyes were pure silver and his canines were out. Absolute rage was showing on his face as he glared at the two Praxis members. His whole body was tense and ready to attack. She carefully brought her hand up and placed it over his chest, pulling his attention to her.

“It’s fine.” She mouthed with a small smile and watched as a hint of fear in his silver eyes dim slightly as he hesitantly returned her smile. Vera’s attention snapped back to the two as she heard the spell they were casting.

She thrust her hand out just as her and Hamish became visible and just barely managed to get a protective barrier in place before the attack spell connected. Hamish, no longer worried about being silent, growled darkly as he positioned himself more over Vera.

“Or maybe he really is just as whipped as the other’s said…oh my god, you did find her. Salvador said she’d be a hide! How are you alive?!” The man said and Vera turned her head to see Amalie standing right beside them glaring dangerously with gold eyes and snarling before she disappeared.

“She’s not interested in joining Praxis and we won’t let you get your hands on her.” Vera ground out darkly and pushed herself up, not caring that she was only wearing Hamish’s sleep shirt at the moment. She didn’t plan for either of these two to make it out alive.

Hamish stood beside her in just his boxers as he readied to attack. Both praxis members looked them up and down before smirking as they saw the heavy bruises and bites across Vera’s neck.

“Huh, looks like she isn’t as rigid as we thought. I think Salvador would like to know that we’ve misunderstood the relationship here. Looking at those marks, that are _still_ there, it’s clear it’s reversed. We’ve been going about this whole thing the wrong way. S _he’s_ the one that’s whipped…”

Tundra had his hand buried deep in the man’s chest before he finished speaking. It was so quick, no one, not even Vera, knew what had happened at first.

The woman tried to drop the bowl to attack, but Tundra’s free hand snapped out and latched tightly around her throat as he yanked the man’s heart from his chest. When the man fell at his feet, he jerked the woman off the ground and towards his face snarling deeply.

“Tundra, we need to question her.” Vera said calmly and the woman sent a pleading look towards her. Tundra snarled threateningly before forcing the woman into a kneeling position at Vera’s feet.

“Please, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Just don’t kill me.” She flinched as Tundra stalked around her and stood before Vera with another growl.

“How many other members are here looking for Amalie? Are there any others tracking us?” Vera asked as she unconsciously brought her hand up to rest on Tundra’s back as he lunged to attack when the girl moved too quickly for his liking.

“Twelve more, six other teams of two, in Germany right now. James and I split off from some of the others when you left your hotel near the temple the other day. Three teams stayed behind to watch the girl in the room. I don’t know what the others did. We were hoping you would lead us to the Empress’ hide.” Vera felt panic stirring in her. The girl in the room. Emilie was still in the hotel when they had left.

“Kill her if she so much as twitches.” She ordered, dropping to their bags and began searching for his phone before remembering he had put it in his shirt when they had danced. She turned and started digging through their clothes with shaking hands.

She had to close out of his phone twice before finally pulling up Emilie’s contact information. Her fear grew when it went to voicemail and she could sense Tundra’s panic as well when she hung up and called her again.

Tears had begun slipping from her eyes when the fourth call went straight to voicemail. She turned furious pained eyes on the feared woman.

“Did they kill her?” She choked out and heard Tundra’s quiet whimper at both her pain and the idea that Emilie was murdered. The woman opened and closed her mouth several times looking between the two.

“I don’t…I wasn’t there, I don’t know! I didn’t do it!” Vera felt Amalie’s presence grow within her mind.

 _“I’m going to check.”_ She was just as worried, but Vera’s pained fury was taking over. She had learned everything she needed to know. She stood on shaky legs and advanced angrily towards the woman.

Tundra blocked her path before she could kill her. Vera tried to force her way around the grey wolf, but Tundra wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest as she began sobbing. He crouched just far enough that he was able to swipe his claws across the kneeling woman’s neck.

When Tundra heard the woman’s heart stop beating, he released control to Hamish. Hamish’s tears were as thick as hers and Vera collapsed on the cave floor, his phone clutched in her hands.

“They killed her, I can’t…I can’t do this again. Not again, _please_ not again…”

“We don’t know that Vera. Call Holger, see if she’s at the temple.” Vera remained staring with unseeing eyes at his phone and Hamish knew she was shutting down. He reached for her bag and pulled out her phone before picking her up and carrying her out of the cave where the two bodies were.

She didn’t fight him when he sat down with her or when he pulled her finger away from his phone and held it over her scanner. When he released it, her finger dropped back to his phone and he watched as she dialed Emilie’s number again.

A pained sob tore from her as he heard Emilie’s cheery voicemail answer again. He pulled her forward into his chest as she sobbed while he searched for Holger’s information. It rang three times before the man picked up. His greeting ended abruptly as he heard Vera’s anguished cries.

_“Vera? What is it, what’s wrong?”_

“It’s Hamish. Is Emilie at The Temple? Have you seen her since we left?”

_“No, but I wouldn’t expect her to be here since it’s the weekend. Have you called her?”_

“She’s not answering. Praxis attacked us, we’re okay, but only two of the fourteen followed us. They said six stayed to watch the girl in our hotel. Emilie was still there when we left. We think she’s…” He couldn’t get the words out as his throat closed up with the suffocating pain.

 _“Don’t hang up. Adrian!”_ Hamish pulled the phone from his ear and put it on speaker as he pulled Vera in closer to him and dropped his head into her shoulder as they waited.

 _“I need you to call Fynn, immediately.”_ They both heard Holger’s rushed words and listened as they heard the ringing of Fynn’s phone, telling them Adrian had put his on speaker as well.

 _“Magus? Is everything okay?”_ Fynn’s voice came through thick with sleep.

“Fynn, it’s Hamish. Have you heard from Emilie since we left?” There was silence on the other end of the line and Hamish felt Vera’s nails digging deep into his back as her terror rose.

_“She messaged me two days ago saying she was going to be studying at your place for the next few days. She usually shuts herself up in the library for quiet, so I didn’t think it was weird…why, what’s going on? Why is Vera crying? Is Emilie okay?”_

They heard as his fear grew before they heard a loud crash and a curse from him in what they knew was an effort to get up. They heard his keys and a door slam as his panicked breaths and repeated _‘please no, please not her, please be okay Em’_ came through the line.

 _“We’ll meet you there, Fynn.”_ Adrian and Holger said quickly. Hamish was relieved they would be there for him if Emilie was… _no!_ He couldn’t finish that thought. He _had_ to believe she was still alive.

He set the phone beside him and brought both arms around Vera as they waited. They knew it was only a five minute drive, but it felt like hours as they heard nothing but the breathing from the men on the other end of the line.

“She’s going to be okay, Vera. Charlotte is strong and so is Emilie.” Hamish whispered as his hand stroked along Vera’s back. He felt her nod against his shoulder, but her grip just tightened telling him she didn’t believe him. It was at _least_ six to one, possibly twelve to one, and they would have surprised her.

 _“We’re here.”_ Holger announced and they listened as Adrian unlocked the door and started calling Emilie’s name.

 _“Emilie!”_ Fynn’s voice pierced through the line and both their grips tightened at the terror in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be the first to say how much I hate myself and my Muse...and yeah, I'm going to go cry now. 😭😭😭
> 
> Side note though, praxis knows Hamish and Selena fucked and now Vera knows? Uh oh...😬😬


	122. Please Wake Up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry 😭
> 
> I actually signed out of my work server real quick and spent my whole lunch break finishing this one to get it out for all the amazing reviews...now I need to find something to eat in less than 2 minutes...

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO

Fynn didn’t even think to use magic as he tore through the apartment. The living room was spotless other than her schoolbooks scattered on the table. He shouted her name again as he ran towards the bedroom she’d been using only to find it was empty as well.

He ran out of the room with wide terrified eyes and saw Adrian coming out of Vera’s bedroom with a shake of his head. He felt a presence on his mind that directed him towards the bathroom, and he ran as fast as he could towards it before slamming the door open.

“Emilie!” He cried out as he saw her laying in the bathtub, head tilted down and away from him. She didn’t even flinch as he shouted her name again and his panic grew to suffocating levels. He heard Adrian and Holger coming in behind him as he rushed over. His hands landed heavily on her shoulders as he shook her.

Emilie’s head left the back of the tub and lulled forward and backwards with Fynn’s shaking until her eyes snapped open. Both siblings stared at each other for a minute, Emilie in dazed confusion, Fynn in overwhelming relief.

“What the _hell_ Fynn! Get _out_ of here!” Emilie shouted while shoving him away from her and reaching over the edge to pull her towel in the water to cover herself. She saw Fynn’s mouth moving but couldn’t hear anything. He frowned angrily at her and she watched him reach forward and pull out the earplugs she’d forgotten she’d put in.

“Are you _seriously_ kidding me right now?! How many times did mom tell you _not_ to take a bath when you’re tired?! You _always_ fall asleep and you don’t wake up. You could _drown_ Emilie!”

“I wasn’t tired when I got in Fynn! I just needed a break from studying!” She defended and only seemed to just now notice the other two standing in the doorway. She saw Holger was holding a phone and focused in on it as she heard Vera crying.

“What’s wrong?” Emilie climbed out of the bath, only stumbling slightly, as she tried to keep herself covered with the soaking towel. “Is Hamish okay?” She asked before she felt Fynn punch her arm gently.

“The _problem_ is you weren’t answering your phone!” Emilie’s eyes widened and she rushed out of the room to the couch where her phone was. Five missed calls, all from Hamish. She saw as it lit up again and quickly picked up the call.

“I’m so sorry.” She sank onto the couch as Vera’s crying increased, but she heard the woman continuing to mutter, _you’re alive. You’re okay._

She looked up with teary eyes when she felt a blanket being thrown over her and saw Fynn’s hands shaking. Holger and Adrian had hung up the phone and she could tell they were in the process of layering protective wards around the apartment.

“I just put earplugs in to try to drown out the noise and fell asleep. I didn’t mean to scare any of you.” Emilie apologized as Fynn’s arm came around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

 _“We were attacked by two praxis members.”_ Hamish started as Vera shook in his arms with relief. _“They followed us when we left, but twelve stayed behind, six intent on watching you. We thought…and when you weren’t answering…”_

“I’m okay, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you calling. Are you both okay?” She listened as Vera’s breathing started to return to normal now that she knew she wasn’t dead. She wished she could give her a hug and assure that she really was okay.

 _“We’re fine, they’re both dead.”_ She heard the growl in his voice and surmised Tundra was the one who had taken them out. _“We know the twelve remaining members are six teams of two. Three teams were interested in watching you and the hotel, but they didn’t know about the other three teams. We’re keeping our guard up, but_ please _be careful Emilie.”_

“I will, Adrian and Holger are setting up protective wards now. And I think Fynn is going to be staying with me here till you guys get back.” She looked up at her brother who gave a firm nod and tightened his arm around her.

“Can you tell Amalie thank you when she gets back. I think she directed me towards Emilie, who should _not_ be taking baths anymore!” He grumbled glaring at his sister.

 _“I’ll teach you an enchantment when I get back.”_ Vera said and though her voice was still thick from crying, she heard humor coming through. _“It will let you take a bath safely, even with how heavy you sleep.”_

“I’m not a heavy sleeper.” She defended and heard three snorts in disbelief. Only Fynn could see her, so she focused her glare on him. “How would _you_ even know? I’m always awake before you.”

“Because you still take naps, Emilie. Do you think you just sleepwalk to your bed every time you pass out on the couch?” Fynn chuckled as she stuck out her tongue.

_“That’s what happened with us. You sleep so heavy; your whole body becomes like a limp noodle or something. When I picked you up to move you, you almost slapped Vera.”_

_“Did she really?”_

_“Yup, you would have been slapped_ right _across the face if it hadn’t been for my fast reaction time.”_

 _“My_ hero _.”_ Emilie couldn’t tell whether to be amused at their antics or offended that they were so casually teasing her. She just sent a huff of displeasure towards them and pushed herself further into the couch.

_“No, it was actually really adorable, Emilie. I’ll have Hamish send the pictures he took when we hang up.”_

“You took pictures of me sleeping?!”

_“Not just of you, I also took some of Vera…”_

_“Excuse me? You did what?!”_

_“Um…you actually weren’t supposed to know that yet…you two were just so sweet curled up together on the couch sleeping.”_

“ _That_ picture I definitely want.” Emilie chimed in before she heard what sounded like kissing. “Okay, is there anything else we need to discuss or are you planning on making me listen to you two get weird?” She heard a shove and a grunt before Vera clear her throat.

 _“We’re not getting_ weird _Emilie! Amalie seems a bit more confident of her surroundings so hopefully in the next day or so we’ll find the chest. Has the loom arrived yet?”_

“Um…Magus?” Emilie asked drawing Holger’s attention. “She wants to know if the loom has arrived yet.”

“Adrian is picking it up this evening using the portal both ways. We didn’t want to risk anything happening to it over a flight.”

“Did you hear him?” Emilie asked and heard Hamish relaying the response to her.

 _“Good. I’ll send the exact location to Adrian once we locate her tomb.”_ Emilie listened as Vera took a deep breath and waited for her to continue. _“Please stay safe Emilie, I don’t want…I_ can’t _lose you.”_ Emilie knew this already, but she still felt her heart beat a little faster and her eyes tear up slightly.

“I’ll be safe. You’re _not_ going to lose me. I promise.” She said quietly and could just barely make out Hamish reassuring Vera that she was okay.

 _“Amalie’s back so we’re going to start heading out. Call me if you need anything, okay? Night or day, it doesn’t matter.”_ Emilie’s heart melted a bit at the worry in Vera’s voice. She would never try to replace her mom, just like she knew Vera would never replace her daughter. But they both knew they had fallen into a mother daughter relationship.

“I will! Be safe…I love you.” She whispered the last three words quickly and hung up before Vera could respond. She looked up at her brother and saw him smiling softly at her. “Don’t be weird about it.”

“I’m just really happy for you Em. Both of you.” She felt her phone vibrate a couple times and opened it to see the photos from Hamish. The one of her and Vera immediately became her background photo.

She had just gotten done smiling at and saving all the photos before she went to put her phone down when she felt another vibration. It was an unknown number and she frowned as she opened the text.

_‘Love you too. Vera’ - Vera_

Emilie felt the smile spreading across her face as she saved Vera’s information. She looked over to see Fynn was beaming at her. She couldn’t stop the flush as she gave him Vera and Hamish’s info and told him to message them both so they wouldn’t have to go through the others if they ever needed to reach her again.

* * *

Vera froze after Emilie hung up before looking up to Hamish’s smiling face with wide eyes. “You should probably have her number in your phone if you want her to call you.” He knew Vera loved Emilie, just like he knew she loved him.

But her actually admitting that right now was unlikely. He knew Emilie probably knew that as well which is why she had hung up so quickly afterwards. He handed her phone to her and watched as her fingers slowly typed in the contact information for her before handing his phone back.

He frowned slightly when she just shut her phone off instead of messaging Emilie so the girl would have her number but decided not to comment. He pulled up the photos and showed her the one’s he’d taken of them asleep on the couch before sending them to Emilie.

“Can you send them to me as well?” Hamish smiled and nodded before sending the photos to her. He watched her open them and the small smile spread across her face told him he was right to take them.

When she chuckled, he peaked at the phone and saw she had chosen one of the close-up images of Emilie’s sleeping face to be the image when she called. Hamish watched as Vera’s hands shook slightly as she typed a few words into her phone before she hit the power button and stood up.

“Come on, we have to clean them up and start heading out if we’re going to make any progress today.” Hamish stood and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him.

“You just made her whole month probably.” He smiled down at her and Vera bit her lip as she looked up at him hesitantly.

“You’re not mad?” He pulled back slightly to look down at her better as he tried to understand why she would possibly think he would be upset with her. When her hand came up to rest over his heart, he understood, and the reassuring smile was back on his face.

“Absolutely not. Just because you’re not ready yet for _us_ to say it, doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t say it to Emilie if you want to. I’m so happy you two have each other.” He promised as his hand came up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“You really are amazing Hamish. And I _am_ getting there, I promise. It’s just…” Hamish leaned in and kissed her, cutting off her words.

“There’s no rush, Vera. You don’t have to worry about upsetting me. Whenever _you’re_ ready will be the perfect time.” She looked into his eyes, expecting to find some trace of irritation with her because she was able to tell Emilie before him, but all she saw was love.

“Thank you.” She whispered and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I keep saying, NEVER trust my Muse with anything she says. Everythingaboutthatship was right, there wasn't a real reason for Praxis to kill her...yet, at least. 😬 And my Muse doesn't do anything without a reason...so something is still about to happen...😬😣😭


	123. Staff Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've FINALLY gotten to the chapter that inspired the 'Missed Opportunities' one shot and the 'staff meeting' that was mentioned in that one! And now you'll see where the two stories overlapped and diverged.
> 
> I'm also super tired, so if there's any spelling/grammar mistakes I apologize.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE

After packing their stuff, Hamish had suggested they bury the bodies, but Vera waved him off. Once they stepped out of the cave Vera laid another concealing enchantment and sent the exact location to Adrian and Holger. They would take care of the bodies and the mess once the loom arrived.

Vera kept her hand in Hamish’s as they continued walking, half listening to him telling stories of dance lessons and the many balls he’d been forced to go to. She couldn’t help laughing at the idea of a seven year old him learning to dance with his strict older dance instructor.

She was a bit quiet though, and she was sure Hamish picked up on it from his occasional side glances at her while he talked. She _felt_ fine, but she did have a bit of a reminder this morning when she’d cast the protective enchantment without cost. She hadn’t felt the nausea, but she _had_ felt a few barrier cells rupture.

She had to be more careful! She could have cast the shield, then the concealment enchantment and easily paid the cost for both. Instead, she had sapped a little bit more of her precious time with him by not planning ahead.

“You know I’m not, right?” Hamish’s hesitant low words hours into the hike pulled her attention and she looked towards him distractedly. She hadn’t been paying any attention to him for the last few minutes.

“Sure.” She responded less than confident and watched his frown grow deeper. She sighed heavily as she realized that was _not_ the answer he’d been hoping for. “Sorry, I was distracted by something. What were you saying?”

“I’m not trying to work you over and I’m not going behind your back and sleeping with other women like they suggested.” Vera came to an abrupt halt and pulled him to look at her. Her hesitant response was _definitely_ not the right answer.

“Of _course_ I know that, Hamish.” He looked down at their hands and ran his thumb along her own while taking a shaky breath. Vera felt herself bracing subconsciously for whatever he was about to say.

“We almost did.” He said quietly as he looked up at her with worry. He saw the confusion on her face and took another deep breath. He didn’t want this coming back to haunt them, especially in a moment where he wouldn’t be able to explain everything.

“Not long before we got our memories back, Selena and I…one thing led to another and I was back at her place…” He felt Vera’s grip go slack in his hand and looked to see pain poorly veiled in her eyes.

“We _didn’t_ sleep together, Vera. And _nothing_ serious happened after that night.” He felt her trying to pull her hand back, but his grip tightened, and he stepped closer.

“Vera, _wait_! It’s not what you’re thinking. Let me explain, okay?” She stopped trying to pull her hand back, but it remained limp in his hand. “Let me start by saying I have absolutely _no_ interest in Selena now that I have my memories back.”

He looked up and tightened his grip on her hand when he saw her emotionless mask had completely fallen back into place for the first time in months. He stepped closer and brought his free hand up to cradle her face, but she blocked its path and took a step back with a cold glare and it fell back to his side.

“Do you remember the staff meeting before term started?” Vera unconsciously took a shuddering breath at those words. Even after all this time, that was still a memory that bothered her. It was one memory she actively tried to _avoid_ thinking about. 

* * *

Vera had arrived in the meeting room early to have everything ready and a few minutes of peace and quiet before her staff arrived. She was bent over behind the podium with one hand resting on it as she tried to get the projector to read her flash drive, but the damn thing wasn’t registering _or_ displaying anything. She had growled at the stupid machine and was about to quit and get tech support to take care of it when she heard him.

She had been so focused on the technical stupidity of these new devices, that she missed him coming up behind her until she hit the device in her frustration, and he let out a deep laugh directly behind her. She froze and looked over her shoulder from her bent position to see his eyes were dark and focused on her. Well, mostly focused on her ass.

“Hitting it won’t make it work, you know. It needs a _gentle_ touch.” He purred with a smirk as he bent over her, careful not to touch anywhere except the faintest caress of his hand on her hip. Her mouth went dry and her eyes remained rooted to his face directly beside hers as he reached out with his free hand and pulled the flash drive out.

He met her gaze from the corner of his eyes and without breaking eye contact, he blew into the device and inserted it again. She heard him press one of the buttons, all without letting his gaze leave hers, before the familiar ping echoed in the silence telling her the device was finally registering. He offered her a breathtaking smirk as he stood up straight beside her.

“See, sometimes a gentle approach gets the best results.” She felt his fingers slide quickly along her hip again as his other hand came up to rest _right_ beside her hand on the podium as the breath was sucked from her lungs. His eyes were hungry as he looked her up and down before he took a step closer to her.

“A friend and I are going for drinks after this at the Blade and Chalice, if you’re interested? Perhaps you could come later?” Was he seriously asking her for drinks? Wait, was he asking her _out_ right now? Looking at his face she saw the second question he had asked _wasn’t_ an offer of drinks, but more of a promise if she was interested.

“This is _highly_ inappropriate, Mr. Duke.” She was proud of the even cold tone of her voice, because realistically, _all_ she wanted to do in that moment was push him down on the desk and have her way with him. How did he appear so confidently cocky while somehow still sounding and acting almost respectful?

“Perhaps. I suppose you could choose to see it that way. However, the offer stands. I’ll be there till eight with my friend.” His hand landed gently on her hip, as the fingers of his other hand gently traced over her hand that was now clenching the podium.

He took another small step forward, still careful to not touch her anywhere else, and leaned in slightly as he dropped his voice lower to whisper in her ear. “I’ll be back at nine for an hour and I’ll be alone. _If_ you’re interested.”

Her hip and hand remained blazing as he sauntered off to take his seat. She felt his unwavering gaze on her as she readied for the meeting, which mostly consisted of her shuffling papers back and forth because she couldn’t focus under his heated gaze. For five minutes he watched her with a hungry gaze until others started arriving. And even then, it remained fixed on her until she saw Ms. Durov enter.

When she didn’t feel the burning intensity of his gaze on her any longer, she had peaked up through her lashes and saw Selena had her hand on his arm and was chatting animatedly to him. She did see the girl was giving him a curious look because he wasn’t giving Selena his full attention. He kept watching _her_ from the corner of his eye as she spoke.

Vera sent a look towards Selena when she met her eyes and raised a brow at the hand resting on Hamish’s arm, as if asking Selena if she was compromised. She watched the girl flush deeply and drop her hand from Hamish’s arm just before Vera felt Hamish’s gaze return to her full force.

She met his hungry gaze unwillingly and felt herself wet her lips unconsciously as she took a ragged breath. He seemed both amused, _very_ interested in something she couldn’t place and aroused before she watched him place his arm around the back of Selena’s chair casually.

Throughout the entire meeting she found her gaze unwillingly returning to the two TA’s and felt more and more conflicted by what she saw. Hamish continued to stare at _her_ with his intense gaze, several times hungrily looking her up and down once their eyes connected and sending a promising grin her way.

His looks were occasionally accompanied by him wetting his lips, and she was positive she mimicked him subconsciously as her mouth went dry _every damn time_ he did it. She was honestly surprised she hadn’t lost control of the meeting multiple times. She was also relieved Selena, as well as most of her staff apparently, weren’t as observant as she would have expected them to be.

The cause for the conflicting feelings, however, were due to the mixed signals he was sending her. He seemed to actively be flirting with _her_ , but his arm remained fixed around Selena’s chair and his hand remained buried in the girl’s hair as he twirled it around his fingers almost absently. She couldn’t wrap her head around whatever game he was playing at.

Against her better judgement, she _had_ gone to the bar, arriving five minutes before nine that evening. She had justified going by needing to ensure Selena wasn’t compromised and to be sure the powder was still working because his behavior today was odd.

Of course, to play into that excuse, it had required she shower and fix her hair and make-up after a full day of work. The matching set of lingerie she had pulled out was _just_ because she had showered, and the set was right there and was one of her favorites.

The shorter, tighter dress she had slipped into was just more comfortable and bar appropriate than the pencil skirt and high collared blouse she had worn. She _absolutely_ hadn’t chosen it because it dipped low into her cleavage and hugged her hips and ass tightly, accentuated her assets flawlessly, while still presenting an appearance of mostly professional.

And the higher heels just matched the dress perfectly. It wasn’t because of the way they perfected her form. She was _just_ planning to check things out, for the good of The Order of course. She _definitely_ wasn’t planning on bringing her fantasy from early to fruition.

When she hadn’t seen him in the surprisingly crowded bar that was usually filled with collage kids, she’d gotten herself a bourbon and sat in a recently vacated corner booth to wait. Her bare legs and heeled feet resting stretched out on the bench presented what she knew was a delicious view.

She’d given him more than thirty minutes, more than generous on her part, and rejected no less than five men as she waited, before her annoyance won out. She finished her third bourbon and stalked towards the handsome guy that had just sent her a drink that was more suited for the collage aged girls that would be arriving shortly.

The drink was left untouched on the table as she approached the now grinning man. She sent a seductive smirk and crooked her finger at him to follow before walking out of the bar. The man wasn’t _terrible_ , but she also hadn’t really been seeing the random man beneath her when she came.

Instead, she’d been imaging herself, back in the meeting room with _him_ beneath her on the table. She’d left as soon as she’d finished, despite him trying to convince her to stay and join him in the shower. As soon as she was alone, she used the incantation to clean herself and still immediately showered the second she’d gotten home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hamish is saying they didn't sleep together...but something still happened.
> 
> The entire bar scene in 'Missed Opportunities' did still happen, it's just clear what happened AFTER Vera left the bar with the guy is what went a little differently. So if you haven't already read that one, definitely go check that it out for at least the bar scene because Vera = badass.


	124. Imitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the only part from Missed Opportunity that happens in Claimed is the bar scene, everything after Vera leaves does NOT happen in Claimed. Instead, this is what happened...

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR

“I recall being stood up that evening.” She snapped and watched his face fall slightly at her tone before his eyes widened in shock and snapped back to hers.

“Wait, what? You _came_?” In her irritation over the unpleasant memory, she smirked darkly and raised a brow.

“I _did_. No thanks to you though.” She watched as he realized what she meant, and his glare turned hard as his eyes flashed silver briefly before darkening as a deep growl left him. She couldn’t tell if it was him or Tundra, which surprised her a bit.

“I assume that by you bringing this memory up after talking about sleeping with Ms. Durov, that you were preoccupied with her, am I right? Can’t say I hadn’t considered the possibility at the time. I seem to remember you were _quite_ fascinated with her hair during the meeting…”

“I _didn’t_ sleep with her, Vera! And I wasn’t fascinated with _her_ hair…” He growled darkly as he glared down at her.

“Oh please! Your hand was buried in _her_ hair for the _entire_ meeting, Hamish! Or were we in two completely different meetings?!” Vera argued as she yanked her hand free and crossed both arms over her chest.

“I’m actually starting to wonder about that myself because I seem to recall that I asked _you_ out and that I couldn’t take my eyes off of _you_ for the entire meeting. My hand may have been in her hair, but it was obviously _yours_ I was imaging.”

He was mad, so was she. And it was clear they both knew it. He wasn’t _too_ upset with Vera, though. Especially after Tundra forced him to step back and see the situation from her point of view. He had come onto her _strong and_ right before a work meeting. Proceeded to ask her out, basically undressed her with his eyes for the entire meeting she was conducting while his hand _was_ buried in another woman’s hair.

And the whole thing had ended with her going to the bar to meet him and him standing her up. She had probably assumed the whole entire thing was some big joke at the time. And based off of her reaction right now, she still did, at least to a point.

No, he was furious with Selena because if it weren’t for her, he would’ve realized his feelings for Vera months earlier. So many things would have been different. He halted at that thought. He _liked_ where they were now. Would they still have gotten to this point if they _had_ met up that night?

He probably wouldn’t have allowed the Knight’s to steal from The Order, which had huge drawbacks like almost causing the end of the world and losing Lilith. But it was also what it had taken for Vera to realize they had their memories back and allow them to keep them _and_ be in the Order still. Would she have erased his memory of the event if they had met that night?

Would they still be pretending to not know about themselves? Would he still have to keep up appearance that he was interested in Selena? It wasn’t something he wanted to entertain. Instead, he tried to calm down and explain what had happened that night.

“ _You_ may not have noticed my attention _never_ shifted from you for the entire meeting, but Selena certainly did. She showed up late for drinks in a _very_ similar outfit to the one you were wearing and asked if I wanted to join her back at her place. I thought she was joking with me and actually laughed when I told her we were friends and that I wasn’t interested in being _anything_ more with her.”

Vera was still standing before him with her arms crossed, but he saw her irritation was slowly starting to shift to concern. He could tell she already sensed where this was going.

“She played it off as if she only asked because she _knew_ I had the ‘hots for the Chancellor’ and asked if I’d finally made a move. As the friend I _thought_ she was, I confided in her and told her that I had extended an offer for drinks and was hoping you were going to meet me there around nine.”

He watched Vera’s hands tighten on her arms as her eyes grew more worried and he cautiously stepped forward again, happy to note that she didn’t step back with his advance. “She insisted on helping me get ready because ‘the Chancellor is way out of my league, and I needed all the help I could get.’ I don’t disagree with her words there, by the way.” He said with a half smirk and watched her roll her eyes.

“The whole time though, I kept drinking to calm my nerves because her damn subtle remarks just kept putting you further and further out of my league and I was so _sure_ you wouldn’t show. Still, by the time nine rolled around I _was_ almost back to the bar, but I was more than a little drunk.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what she was hoping for. She said good night and wished me luck a few yards from the door. Then, a few seconds later, _you_ called my name and I turned around and saw you leaning against the wall wearing that same outfit from the meeting.”

“No…I went home and changed first...I was already in the bar…” He met her eyes and saw a different kind of pain and regret in her depths.

“Like I said, I’d already had _several_ drinks. I didn’t make the connection that Selena should have still been visible and that the outfit wasn’t exactly right, and the heels weren’t as high as yours. Really her whole stance and presentation were totally off. She was lacking that natural elegance and confidence that you possess.

“Sober me looks back and sees a nervous, but still sexy hooker Vera and I just _can’t_ imagine _you_ ever making me think ‘hooker’ when I see you. But drunk, horny me _also_ saw a sexy hooker Vera and _he_ wasn’t thinking of anything past your breasts on display from her mostly open shirt. I now know that she used a glamour to look like you and was _trying_ to act like you.”

Vera felt violated on a whole new level from Selena pretending to be her just to sleep with someone, especially Hamish. She watched as he took a deep breath and tightened her grip on her arms, bracing for the next part.

“She took me back to her apartment. Again, another clue that _should_ have tipped me off but didn't. The problem was she kept me preoccupied by kissing me as we undressed, well _she_ undressed us both. Once I saw what I _thought_ was you dropping down to your knees in front of me in nothing but lingerie I was just a _little_ too distracted to register anything else.

“All I knew was you were kneeling before me with my hand buried in your hair as you worked and all rational thoughts were gone. I growled out _your_ name to warn you I was about to finish so you could pull back but…” He looked back towards her face to see the irritation had shifted to annoyed fury and her fingers were digging deeply into her arms as he described, unnecessarily more vivid than needed he now realized, what had happened and cleared his throat.

“Sorry. But when she tensed, it was the final piece that made me realize something wasn’t right. Even without knowing about magic, I somehow _knew_ it wasn’t actually you even though it was your eyes staring guiltily back up at me. I pulled her off of me immediately and yanked her up to _really_ focus on her.

“Her mannerisms were all wrong and she didn’t smell _anything_ like you did when I asked you out. As I’ve said before, you have a _very_ unique scent to me, _especially_ when you’re aroused. I picked up neither of your scents and knew there was something wrong. I completely lost it trying to figure out what the hell was going on and Tundra was finally able to push through the powder’s effect on him because of my anger.

“Next thing I knew, I was waking up without any clothes on in her bed with her naked and draped over me, convinced that we’d slept together and were in a committed relationship. I _know_ we didn’t though. Tundra would have known, and I would have had the memory from Lilith’s potion. But at the time, I honestly thought we were a couple.”

“Oh god. Please know I didn’t authorize _any_ of that. That was a gross misuse of magic on so many different levels. They were under strict orders _not_ to abuse the powder like that and multiple times I’ve disciplined and demoted disciples for misusing glamours. She _knew_ better.” Hamish had known that from the beginning, but he was even more sure of it now that he knew about her past. She would _never_ stand for someone basically magic roofying someone into bed.

“That was never in question, Vera. I don’t blame you for anything that Selena chose to do. Nothing happened after that night other than a couple uncomfortable kisses and heavy petting on her end. Even convinced that we were together, kissing her still felt wrong. She quickly gave up on trying to keep the established couple act up and went back to flirting.” He suddenly smiled hungrily down at Vera and wrapped both arms low across her back and tugged her into him.

“Especially with my reaction every time I saw you on campus, which I’m pretty sure was anytime you weren’t in your office or the temple. I severed all contact or interest in what she was saying or doing immediately and started following after you as memories of that meeting and the one at the den kept flashing through my mind. There was a _lot_ of powder in the three weeks before we got our memories back.”

“She made it seem like you _weren’t_ reacting the way the others were. The other three said it was every few hours, but she just said it was hard keeping up with you. _Drinking_ wise I mean.” Vera looked up at him and he was happy to see her mask had completely faded again.

“Well, it does take a _very_ special kind of woman to keep up with me, in more than just drinking.” He grinned down at her flushing face. “Honestly though, I’m not sure who was powdered more, Jack or me. He kept getting flashes of Alyssa, but she knew to avoid him on campus. _You_ on the other hand, you just kept popping up _constantly_.”

“It wasn’t intentional. The beginning of the year requires me being all over the campus checking on things for the school _and_ the Order…”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, Vera. I enjoyed it _very_ much. Not only did it get me out of whatever I was doing with her, but watching you confidently walking around like you ran the whole world…” He ended the sentence suggestively as he pulled her further into him with his hand on her ass to let her feel _exactly_ what it did to him.

“It’s actually one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place. Seeing how confidently you held yourself around campus over the years, then seeing you as if you didn’t have a care in the world while standing in a den _full_ of werewolves. And watching you fight with stubborn technology as if you could just _will_ it into submission before confidently leading a meeting full of professors _several_ years your senior.

“You know, it took all of my self-control to walk away and not try and have my way with you on the desk _before_ the meeting. By the end of it I’m pretty sure the only thing that stopped me from trying was _you_ leaving the room with several professors before I could even stand up.” She smirked up at him and brought her arms up to loop around his neck.

“That’s funny, I was having the _exact_ same thoughts before the meeting.” She purred and pulled herself up to kiss him deeply. When she pulled back, he saw the subtle flush she was wearing while she bit her lip as if she were debating something.

“It was also what I was picturing later that night. So, I may have lied just a _little_ bit when I said I came with no thanks to you. It was after all, picturing _you_ beneath me on the desk that got me off, not really anything he was doing beneath me…”

“Or we could _not_ talk about that. I’m already irritated enough as it is that I unknowingly stood you up. I really _don’t_ want to hear about the guy you chose to take to your home in my place.” Vera flinched slightly at his irritation and nodded with a quiet, _‘sorry’_.

She had been trying to make him feel better and explain that even though he’d unwillingly stood her up and she’d found someone else, she had still been thinking only about him. But she could see how it was a bit like pouring salt in the wounds. There was one thing she could offer him though.

“You know, I _like_ my scholarship news article and my improv troupe poster hanging up on my wall. I like my books and my knitting supplies and current craft projects _neatly_ strewn across my living room. They are all things that I enjoy doing and looking at when I’m home. But I don’t want _other_ people to see those things. They’re private to me.”

She gently guided his forehead down to rest against hers and looked up into his eyes. “I _don’t_ bring people to my home, Hamish. I never have. Not even to just casually visit. You are the first person that I’ve ever invited over. The only others to receive an invite have been Emilie and Fynn.” He heard the slightest waver in her voice at the revelation and pulled her in tighter, letting his thumbs stroke over her lower back as he tilted his head and kissed her.

“You know, as much as I thoroughly enjoy the untouchable, confident, _sexy,_ badass Chancellor Stone, she’s not my favorite.” Vera pulled back with a raised brow.

“No?” She gave a false pout as her fingers played with the hairs on the back of his neck and he shook his head smiling widely.

“No, although she is the _perfect_ complement to my favorite. I absolutely cannot get enough of the soft and open, adorably sleepy and snuggly, dessert loving Vera.” Her face was almost scarlet as he gazed down at her.

“But I’m only sexy when I’m in badass mode?” She teased and he yanked her fully into him with a playful growl as his head burrowed into her neck and he started kissing the corded muscles.

“No, you are _always_ incredibly sexy, no matter what you’re doing. Even when you’re grumpy in the morning, you’re sexy to me.” He hummed against her neck and she dropped her head back with a laugh that turned into a moan as she tunneled her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. She felt his grip tighten against her hips as his playful human growl shifted to a threatening animalistic snarl.

She felt his canines sliding against the skin of her neck as they elongated and froze. “What is it?” She whispered trying to find the reason Tundra was forcing his way out. Instead of responding verbally, one of Hamish’s hands slid up to cradle the back of her head. She felt her feet being kicked out from under her as Hamish forced her to the ground beneath him, trying to cushion her fall as much as possible with his arms.

Vera felt the intense wave of magical energy just before she saw the red blast fly inches over where they now lay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, see, they worked it out...but uh...things don't look to good for them at the moment


	125. Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely reviews last chapter. As a heads up, FadingStar asked and received permission from me to write a one-shot spin off for last chapter on a possible way Vera could handle what Selena did, it's called 'Working the Problem'. I definitely suggest checking it out!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE

“You have got to be fucking _kidding_ me!” Vera growled and went to perform a shield charm. She stopped herself just before casting and forced Tundra into a roll, leading them towards the small patch of bushes. She felt the wave of energy and tried to throw herself into the bushes faster, but still the blast connected with her shoulder.

Tundra’s furious snarl tore through the clearing as he saw the burn on Vera’s shoulder. He crouched over her growling deeply in all directions as saliva dripped from his canines. Once she dug into her boot and grabbed the knife, she quickly sliced into her palm and muttered under her breath.

Barrier set, she brought her hand up and quickly healed enough of the damage that her arm was now useable again. Vera carefully pushed herself up, accepting Tundra’s help and allowing him to pull her closer to him as he searched for the threat. When his head snapped towards one direction with a growl, she focused in on it and healed her hand before making another slice and waited.

She saw the red blast coming towards her and without flinching directed a bolt of lightning back towards the originating point. She heard the howl of pain as it connected and saw Tundra start making his way towards where the attacker would be. Vera quickly stopped him and pulled him back with a finger raised.

She knew she had been right that the partner was here the second Tundra went from watching her to hunching and snarling as he spun towards the other direction. Knife in hand, Vera made a new slash as she turned. Tundra shoved her out of the way of the attack, catching her before she fell from his sudden shove, but took a deep singe to his arm in the process.

The second spell she saw coming and deflected the attack back towards the enemy. She could see that one connected with the surprised man and knew he was dead before his body hit the ground.

“Do you sense the other one?” She asked while healing her hand and watched as Tundra’s head lifted and he started sniffing the air and circling her.

 _“Three more on each of your current sides, they’re hiding their scents from him. Block, HURRY!”_ Amalie warned and Vera made a deep slash in both palms before erecting barriers on either side just as three green spells slammed into each of the two erected shield walls.

After fighting with Ishtar, Vera _knew_ that those green spells were specific for a wolf and she released a furious growl of her own. They were aiming for Hamish and Tundra! They were trying to kill _him!_ She saw Tundra make the same connection, and knew Hamish was better suited to defend right now.

Vera watched Tundra melt back into Hamish just as Amalie warned of another attack, three from the original direction, two more from the direction she’d already felled an attacked. They were surrounding them from all sides.

“Block the other sides, _now!”_ Hamish didn’t hesitate in erecting the two barriers, completing a protective box around them just before eleven green bolts blasted against them. Vera staggered slightly with the force of the blow, but Hamish stepped closer until they were standing back to back so he could help her hold against the force.

They both stood with their backs together and palms dripping blood as they waited for the attackers to reveal themselves. Hamish heard Vera attack right before he did just after the fields they were holding shimmered as another volley of eleven wolf spells hit. Both of them hit their targets based off the pained cries, but they weren’t sure if they were dead or just injured like the first attacker.

He felt her stumble into him with a grunt of exertion and brought one arm behind him to keep her standing upright just as he heard Vera’s phone beginning to go off. The next barrage of attacks only consisted of ten green lights, indicating Vera had likely killed a second.

He knew Vera’s following attack had hit, just like his, but the furious screaming that continued to fill the air around them told them both she’d just wounded him and made him more upset. By the time her phone stopped ringing, another attack still hadn’t come. They seemed to realize they were using their attacks to target them and attack back.

“Where _are_ they?!” Vera ground out and Hamish knew she was mostly asking Amalie. He felt Vera tense against him before both their phones started ringing. Hamish listened as Vera started muttering several words he’d never heard before as the metallic scent of her blood became overwhelming.

He looked back to see her drop her knife and both of her forearms and palms were coated with her blood from two long slices from inner elbow to middle of her palm. She swayed slightly but continued muttering rapidly with closed eyes.

His eyes widened in panic at the sight of her gushing arms before she finished muttering the incantation and her eyes snapped open flickering a pale gold and began to crackle with lines of blue lightning that shifted down into her hands before vibrant lights flashed all around him. He looked around, hand shielding his eyes when he saw ten massive pillars of blue and white lightning slamming into the ground at different points around them.

It only took seconds, but it was a magnificent to witness. Although Vera dropping heavily against him immediately drew his attention. He caught her as she fell and eased her down onto the ground before he began to heal her.

“You could have warned me about that _before_ I did it!” Vera slurred with irritation as she glared up at a point above him. “Yeah, well next time don’t tell _me_ to do a spell only magic rank _wolves_ should do!” She argued sluggishly as Hamish took her other arm and started healing the deep gash. “Well, I’m not one _yet_ , now am I?!”

“Amalie?” He asked and watched as her glare snapped to him before softening and smiling up at him.

“She thought it would be a _great_ idea to show me exactly where they were and how to do a spell to get all of them at once. She _neglected_ to mention that the spell she wanted me to do is one only magic rank wolves, which I’m _not_ , should try because everyone else that tries passes out after, and often died because of blood loss...

“I don’t _care_ that it didn’t hurt me and that he was here to heal me! There were a _number_ of other spells I could’ve used…Are you _serious_ right now?!” She growled and glared back up, at a different spot this time he noted. Hamish bit down on his amused smirk as he realized that she had absolutely _no_ idea where Amalie was.

“We need to work on your definition of exciting.” Vera spat before turning her incredulous eyes to Hamish. “She thought I would find this exciting. Oh yes, it’s just _so_ exciting being drained so suddenly of all of your magic that you collapse. So _exciting_!”

“You’re going to be okay though, right?” He asked as he reached into her bag and began rummaging for baby wipes to clean the blood. Her eyes softened again, and she nodded.

“Yeah, I just need to rest for a bit. She’s going to scope out the surrounding area to see if she can’t find the path.” She watched him as he cleaned her arms and noticed he was fighting a smile. “What?”

“Well, it _was_ pretty exciting to see that. And you’re still conscious, which is pretty amazing if you think about the fact that even non magic rank wolf practitioners like myself would likely have passed out from it. She knew you could handle it, even with the small amount of magic wolf in you.” She offered him a small, slightly dopey, smile before glaring behind him with a flush.

“Shut up and go scout.” Vera’s flush grew heavier when she met Hamish’s eyes again. Amalie apparently decided she liked teasing her. Specifically, when it came to her softer side with Hamish. She wasn’t actually annoyed with the woman, though. After the pain she’d suffered it was good to hear her finding excitement and humor in little things.

She watched as Hamish opened his mouth before her phone rang again and she quickly grabbed it. Emilie’s picture was flashing, and she cringed before picking it up.

“We’re both okay.” She said immediately and heard the relieved cry from Emilie.

_“Yelling at me to answer my phone, when you both are just as bad!”_

“We weren’t sleeping in the bath Em; we were being attacked. Would you have preferred we picked up instead of focusing on protecting ourselves from the attacks?”

 _“No.”_ Vera chuckled slightly as she heard Emilie pouting on the other end of the call.

“We got them Em, we’re both okay. How’d you know to call?”

_“Holger couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Neither him, Adrian or Charlotte sensed any threats around the area. He pulled the surveillance from the hotel and identified eight members, two of which Adrian confirmed were the ones that attacked you earlier. From there he sent the photos to the lodge and the man at the counter confirmed they all arrived in groups of two or three yesterday. Whoever you questioned earlier today was lying.”_

“I’m not surprised.” Vera cringed as she heard the slur on the last word. The attack had left her feeling drunk and unbalanced. She hoped Emilie missed it, but as she heard the pause on the other side of the phone, she knew that was wishful thinking.

 _“Why do you sound like you’re about to pass out?”_ Vera growled slightly with annoyance as Hamish chuckled and held out his hand for the phone.

“Amalie taught Vera a new _bad ass_ spell.” He added emphasis on the _bad ass_ with a suggestive smirk to let her know just how hot he had found it before turning his attention back to Emilie.

“Amalie just neglected to tell her until _after_ she had cast it, that only full magic rank wolves can safely do it without passing out...”

_“Is she okay?!”_

“ _She_ is fine…” Vera slurred again and rolled her eyes at Hamish’s raised brow. “Fine, I feel drunk without any of the fun parts.” She admitted and almost flopped back against a laughing Hamish. It was true, the longer she remained conscious, the more she saw the world starting to spin.

“Actually, I think she’s going to pass out now. Is fine. I’m fine.” Vera slurred as she lifted her arm and pat Hamish’s chest before her hand dropped onto her own face.

She looked up at Hamish with what he saw as an adorable pout. He smiled down at her, her face still slightly covered by her hand and she offered him that dopey smile again before losing consciousness.

“And she’s out.” Hamish said chuckling as he repositioned Vera into a more comfortable position. “There’s obviously not enough wolf in her yet…”

 _“There’s a joke in there…_ ”

“And you’re lucky she’s already passed out and didn’t hear you just now.” He couldn’t stop his laughter though as he brushed Vera’s hair out of her face.

_“Seriously though, she’s okay?”_

“Yeah, she was arguing with Amalie, who I think has a sense of humor, just before you called. You should have seen her Em, it was incredible. Her hands and eyes had lightning coming from them before she pulled down _ten_ massive pillars of lightning…”

 _“Like in Ragnarök when Thor gets his level up and attacks Hela?”_ Hamish paused as he thought about it.

“Actually yeah, just like that except it didn’t spread around her whole body.”

_“So, you know how the original Grand Magus got fire? What if the wolves got lightning? Wait, hear me out, okay? Amalie used lightning or fire to destroy the castle and any attack basically, right? Well, she was the wife of the Grand Magus, of course she gets fire._

_“But now we find out about this Thor level epic magic and that it’s only safe for magic rank wolves. Well, we know Odin is real, and according to mythology he’s the sky god and the sky is basically air, yeah? And we know Odin has some weird relationship with Gilgamesh, who we also know was the second Grand Magus from the journals. And we know Odin must trust him somewhat because both of them can manipulate the ring and the ring stays in Gilgamesh’s Forest._

_“What if Air_ is _Odin, and he came to Gilgamesh and he gifted us lightning from the sky? He was Grand Magus, so he would’ve taught it to his disciples, but it’s easier for us werewolves because it was actually gifted_ to _us?”_

“It’s possible, I can ask Amalie when she gets back. If she doesn’t know, maybe if and when Gilgamesh finishes the transference, Vera might be able to find out through his memories.”

 _“I hope it takes, that would be so cool! We’ll be one big weird wolfy family. Well, with one human because Fynn has made it_ very _clear that he wants to remain human…can you say boring?! Oh, also, I want to know if there’s a way we can become magic rank wolves. How awesome would that be?!”_

“We already are a weird wolfy family Em. She doesn’t need to be a _wolf_ to be in it…”

 _“I know, but I kind of want her to be…she’ll be safer and stronger.”_ Hamish looked down at Vera and frowned as he gently brushed her hair off her pale face.

“She’ll also be hunted more thoroughly though and probably removed from her position as Grand Magus. The Order still isn’t rea…”

_“Ready, yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s been what, a month and change since he initiated the transference? That means she’s got a little less than eleven months left before the transfer would be complete. That’s plenty of time to change The Order’s opinion. Especially with the others here actively wanting to help.”_

“I’ll mention your theory about lightning and the possibility of us becoming magic rank wolves to Vera when she wakes up. Amalie seems to be able to talk with her, probably from their previous link...”

_“OHHH, I had another idea…”_

“Emilie, you’re _supposed_ to be studying. We can talk more when we get back. For now, get your schoolwork done so you can transfer sooner.”

 _“Yes dad!”_ She growled with irritation and Hamish felt a stab of pain at the title. She seemed to realize what she said and to who and immediately started apologizing. _“Shit, I’m so sorry Hamish, I didn’t mean…”_

“It’s fine Em, really.” There was silence for a few seconds before Hamish heard Emilie start talking only to stop a couple times. “What is it?”

 _“I don’t know if I should tell you.”_ He heard the doubt in her voice and wasn’t sure he actually _wanted_ to hear what she was thinking, especially since it seemed to be sparked from her calling him dad. The problem was he could tell it was bothering Emilie and that she would likely sit and obsess over it.

“You can tell me.”

_“There’s another reason I want the transference to go through. When Amalie was telling Ishtar how Gilgamesh outsmarted her, she made a comment about how he was skilled with barriers. I was kind of hoping that if they bonded, that maybe he could somehow erode the enchantment she cast?”_

Hamish’s heartrate picked up slightly at the words. Was it actually possible? He knew he couldn’t bring the idea up to Vera, not unless the transference was successful. He couldn’t give her the possibility of children just to snatch it away from her again.

“I hope you’re right Emilie, but please, whatever you do, _don’t_ mention it to her. I don’t want to give her hope if the barrier prevents the transference from being completed.”

_“I won’t say anything, promise.”_

“Good. Now get your work done. The faster you finish, the sooner you get to transfer!”

_“Will do. Can you have her message me when she’s awake?”_

“I’m sure she was already planning to, but I’ll relay the request. Bye Em.”

Hamish gently shifted Vera from his lap and laid her down on the ground before moving towards his torn clothing and mending both them and his pack’s straps. He looked around for a bit before he felt a subtle pull on his mind.

“Back, are you? Are you able to talk with me?” When he just felt another subtle pull, he sighed. “She passed out from your spell, Amalie. We need to rest tonight. Did you see any caves or good places to camp nearby by chance?”

With another, more insistent pull this time, he nodded and loaded Vera’s pack on top of his own before he carefully lifted the unconscious woman in his arms and followed Amalie’s pulls. Almost thirty minutes later, he saw the tiny cave entrance and thanked Amalie before inspecting it to make sure it was safe.

“Watch her, get me if you see _anything_.” He said once he’d changed her into _his_ sleep shirt, he knew she preferred it to her own pajamas, and had her tucked in. He felt the caress of acknowledgment and quickly went off in search of wood for the fire.

When he laid down beside her, he felt himself hesitating as he went to pull up the covers. He pulled the sleeping bag down further and draped it against her upper thighs. His hand shook slightly before he gently grabbed the hem of his shift and pulled it up to her ribs.

Her flat, toned abdomen was unblemished, save for two bites low on either side. His dream flashed through his mind again, giving him an image of a lightly pregnant Vera as his fingers gently traced over her. Maybe that future wasn’t as completely impossible as he’d originally thought.

He smiled before carefully leaning forward and placing a lingering kiss just below her belly button and fixing the shirt. He pulled the sleeping bag up before pulling her back against him. His hand was carefully placed under the shirt she wore. Just low enough that his pinky could rest over where a swell _would_ be but high enough that if she woke, she wouldn’t think anything of it.

“I love you.” He whispered against the back of her neck with a kiss before allowing himself to drift off. Trusting Amalie and Tundra to stand guard. His hand slowly shifted lower and lower as the night wore on until it was fully resting right below her belly button.

Tundra, understanding the pain the placement of Hamish’s hand could cause to Vera, would make sure his Champion woke and removed his hand before his Claimed woke.

But for now, he let his _own_ hope flow into his Champion at the possibility of Emilie’s theory coming true.

* * *

_"The sun rose on the first dawn._

_Magic rose with it, and cleaved itself in four, creating the elements;_

_water, earth, air, and fire._

_Fire appeared before the first human._

_She said, "Behold, I am that which can sustain you. Worship me, and I will share my magic."_

_The first human said, "Yes."_

_His name was Magus."_

_-Spring Outbreak, Part 2_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I mentioned to those in our discord chat when the topic of Kepler's speech in Spring Outbreak, Part 2 came up that I had a theory about magic cleaving herself in four...this is me sharing part of that theory...more of this will come from at least one other element.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!


	126. She Can Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mostly fluff chapter...with several subtle hints about coming angst...
> 
> My eyes are beyond tired and going a bit cross eyed (maybe I should sleep...) so if you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes feel free to point them out or just chalk them up to me being tired.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIX

Hamish woke early from Tundra’s prodding. He felt Vera beginning to stir and nuzzled further into the back of her neck with a kiss before Tundra barked at him to move his hand immediately. Realizing where it was placed, he quickly slid his hand from Vera’s abdomen up and around her rib and pulled her tighter against him.

Vera let out a low sleepy hum before turning around to face him. Her face pressed into his chest as her knee slid between his legs. He felt her hand come up and rest on his chest as she let out a tired sigh and relaxed fully against him.

“Mmm, nooo.” She grumbled into his chest as her head shook slightly. “I’m tired.” She complained again as she pulled herself closer to Hamish. He brought his hand up to trace along her spine, unsure of why she was arguing with him as he wasn’t trying to wake her up.

“Nooo, I’m comfy.” She whined and burrowed further into his chest before breathing deeply and letting out a happy sigh. Hamish felt the insistent, almost irritated, pull and knew it had been Amalie that Vera was arguing with.

“It’s your own fault for having her do the spell yesterday. She’s not a morning person to begin with…” He was cut off by a forceful annoyed shove before he heard Vera growl darkly against him.

“I hate you.” Vera grumbled before he felt her freeze in his arms. She quickly tilted her head up so her wide tired eyes met his. “Not you. I was talking to Amalie. I _like_ you.” She offered with a smile before leaning up and kissing him.

“Do. You. _Mind_?!” She growled breaking the kiss and shooting a glare over her shoulder. He watched as she listened for several minutes before sighing and dropping back against him.

“She found the tomb, but it’s still a ways away. She thinks if we leave now and hike fast, we can make it by nightfall. She also thinks we may need Emilie, Adrian and Holger to break the enchantment safely. Apparently with her and Gilgamesh it’s a risk for me to try.”

Amalie hadn’t just found her tomb. She had inspected it and lingered to sense the magic around it. There was no wildlife around and the village surrounding it had been abandoned at least a century ago. It was _strong_ dark magic and especially dangerous to Vera.

She warned Vera that trying to break through the fortified enchantment will likely erode her last barrier completely as the best-case scenario. She could tell it was designed to block magic wolves, which Vera wasn’t _yet_ , but she did have an active link with Amalie’s magic and retained some of Gilgamesh’s essence.

“Okay, then we’ll get ready and head out. Breakfast first though.” Hamish offered a small glare above their heads and watched Vera smirk. Neither one of them had even the slightest idea of where the female wolf was. He worked on starting the fire quickly to get the coffee going and glanced back to see Vera watching him with a soft tired smile from her curled-up position in their sleeping bag, one arm bent under her head.

“Will you shut up already?!” Her irritated words drew his attention to her flushing face as she pushed herself into a sitting position. “You heard him, breakfast first…I was _not_ …No, I wasn’t, I was just…” She continued until he watched her wake a bit more and realized she was arguing out loud before looking at him and flushing deeper.

“She thinks I was getting distracted watching you, even though she should know by now that I’m basically useless before coffee and breakfast.” She grumbled glaring up at a new point.

“Just a few more minutes for coffee at least. Oh, Em wanted you to message her when you woke up.” Hamish smiled as Vera’s glare softened immediately as she pulled out her phone and typed out a quick message.

“She has a few theories I promised to bring up when you woke up…”

“ _Nope_. Coffee first.” Vera interrupted not even looking up from her phone as a message came through. She let out a small chuckle at the response before switching her phone off and moving into a kneeling position behind Hamish.

He unconsciously purred slightly as he felt her knees come beside either side of his hips and her arms wrapped around him from behind. His huge smile couldn’t be tempered as she placed several chaste kisses between his shoulder blades before resting her cheek against his bare back.

“I don’t care. Until coffee and breakfast are done, it’s _our_ time. You can wait a few minutes.” Her tone left no room for argument and he felt her burrow her face further against his back as her grip tightened around him. He brought his hand that wasn’t stirring the coffee to lace with hers.

The coffee finished just as he felt her grip slacking around him and her breathing begin to even out. She must still be really exhausted if she was falling asleep like this. He trailed his thumb over her fingers softly and called her name gently to rouse her.

“I’m awake.” Her immediate defensive tone pulled a chuckle from him until she realized it was him, and not Amalie this time that was waking her. “Mmm, thank you.” He felt her lift her head from his back as she accepted the cup with one hand. Her other arm remained loose around his waist.

“I know she wants to leave as soon as possible, but are you okay to leave? We can stay a few more hours if you think you need it.” Her thumb on the hand that was resting around him stroked soothing against his stomach as she gave another soft kiss to his shoulder.

“I’ll be fine once I actually wake up. I’m just a little out of it from the effects of the spell yesterday. It feels kind of like a hangover mixed with the drowsiness that comes from sleeping medicine. Coffee and food should definitely help.”

“Is your magic back to normal?” She hadn’t experienced any of the withdrawal symptoms, so he didn’t think it was actually gone, it was just expended too suddenly. He was still worried though.

“I think so. I don’t feel unbalanced and dizzy like I did yesterday. I just have a headache and I’m a little tired. I’m fine Hamish, really. She wouldn’t have had me use it if there were any lasting side effects.” Amalie had assured her of that much at least before she’d cast it. It just required all of her magic to be concentrated into a single second blast.

 _“He worries so much for you. You will tell him of your condition, right?”_ Vera’s hand tightened over Hamish’s waist as her head came to rest on his back. Hamish felt her tense immediately and focused on her breathing which had sped up.

“Are there lasting effects?” At his concerned tone, Vera’s grip loosened, and she shook her head against his back.

“No, I just remembered something rather unpleasant from the memories is all.” She soothed pulling herself even closer to him. All true, at Amalie’s concerned questioned, Vera flashed to the memory of Adrian telling Holger of the short time she had left.

 _“I’m sorry, I ruined your morning. I don’t…It’s been so long since I was able to connect with anyone, I sometimes forget there’s a time and place to bring such topics up.”_ Vera understood, she’d shut people out for nineteen years and it was still hard to get a read on certain situations. Amalie had gone centuries.

_‘It’s okay. And I will tell him, but not yet. We need to rescue you and deal with Praxis first. I don’t want to risk anything happening to him because he’s distracted. He also only has a couple weeks left for his degree and I just…he couldn’t bring himself to finish his last one after Cassie. I just want him to be able to focus and have a few more weeks of happiness before it spreads too far.’_

_“And you? You shouldn’t have to go through this alone, Vera.”_ Amalie’s worry for her flooded through her causing Vera to smile slightly.

_‘Adrian and Holger know if I need anything. And I’m not alone. He may not know that I’m sick, but just being around him makes it easier. I’ll be okay Amalie, really. Let’s just focus on freeing you so you can finally see your children again.’_

_“Even if this doesn’t work Vera, I cannot thank you enough. You saved my sister, have promised to find my daughter and saved my kin. But most importantly, you’ve brought back the humanity I had lost and allowed me to share my burdens with you. I…thank you.”_

_‘Will you…I honestly believe that this will work, but if it doesn’t…can I ask that you watch over them for me when I’m gone?’_ She knew Adrian and Holger, along with the others, would keep an eye on them but knowing Amalie would be around to warn them of threats would give her peace.

_“I promise Vera. They are mine to protect just as much as they are yours.”_

“Vera?” Hamish’s voice broke through her conversation and she lifted her head to see the bowl he was holding for her. She accepted it and allowed her arm to drop as he turned to face her with his own bowl.

“Everything okay?” His eyes showed the concern he was trying to mask. Vera offered a smile as she shifted until she could lean against his side, bare legs tucked to the side.

“We were just talking about her sticking around you and the others if my plan doesn’t work. I think it will though.” She forced the oatmeal down, knowing Hamish picked up on her distaste for it. Early on in their camping trip it became obvious to all of them how much she despised the stuff.

She didn’t complain or refuse to eat it though. It was one of the few non-perishable breakfasts that would actually provide enough lasting sustenance. And she knew that was exactly why he had made it this morning. After yesterday’s expenditure and the long day of hiking planned, it was the only feasible option.

She still had to cover a few gags every now and then. No matter how the stuff was flavored she couldn’t get past the texture. When she finished the meal and quickly emptied her water bottle to rid herself of the taste, she saw Hamish reach into his bag and pull something out.

“Here, I know how much you hated that.” He said and offered a small candy bar. She beamed up at him and leaned forward to kiss him before gratefully accepting the chocolate. Vera broke off two pieces and handed him one before popping hers into her mouth with a hum.

“You’ve never thought to bring a breakfast dessert when you camp, have you?” He saw her freeze slightly before breaking off another piece and looking at it curiously before shaking her head no and biting into it.

“Force of habit, my father _never_ would’ve allowed it. My mom loved to bake and created some of the most amazing and delicious desserts you could possibly imagine, but my father wouldn’t allow any desserts in the house. He couldn’t _‘risk his wife or daughter losing their figures’_ and apparently dessert was too much of a temptation, so he removed it. We would _always_ sneak them when he was away though.”

Hamish frowned at her explanation, even with her mischievous smirk. He knew that her parents abandoning her hurt her, but the more he learned about her father, the more he believed the man removing himself from her life was the kindest thing he could’ve done for her.

Even still, she had spent over fifteen years with the man chipping away at her confidence. He knew she struggled with letting people in, but he couldn’t believe she was able to be so confident after being raised by her father.

He suspected her mother supported her a lot more than he had originally believed and it hurt him to know that she had lost that relationship. He was starting to suspect that her mother wasn’t the uncaring woman he had believed her to be, but instead found herself trapped.

If her father hadn’t kicked her out, would Vera have turned out subdued like he suspected her mother was? Looking at her and her happy smile as she munched on the chocolate, he found he still couldn’t forgive the woman.

From Vera’s own recollection, her mother was a wonderful mom, but _only_ if her father wasn’t involved. And that’s where he took issue. Her mother knew her father was dangerous, suspected he may hurt Vera on those hunting trips. And though she had tried to get Vera out of one of them, she hadn’t tried hard enough in his opinion.

Because her mother didn’t protect her from her abusive and manipulative father, Vera had wound up broken at the bottom of a cliff. And even after that event, where she easily could have died, he knew she had sat back and let her husband kick out her fifteen year old pregnant daughter. Not once bothering to reach out to her. Not even after Vera’s daughter had died.

He saw her smile starting to drop as she watched him frowning and forced himself to smile. She was in a good mood this morning, and he didn’t want to bring her down by making her focus on a past that couldn’t be changed.

“Like I said yesterday, dessert loving Vera is one of my favorites. If you want something, don’t hold back on my account.” He said and watched her smile happily before he thought to add something. “So long as you still eat at least _some_ actual dinner of course.”

“Mmm, we’ll see.” She teased as she leaned forward and kissed him. His arms came up behind her back and pulled her into his lap before sliding his hands up her back. He heard her small moan as she rolled her hips against him and just barely managed to pull himself back.

“I thought we were on a schedule?”

“And I thought you _just_ told me not to hold back if I want something?” She countered with a raised brow before leaning back in and capturing his lips. “I want you. She can wait.”

Hamish certainly didn’t need to be told twice. He had his shirt off of her before she finished leaning in for another kiss. He went to lay her beneath him, but she pulled back with a shake of her head and gently guided him to his back.

He was expecting her to be quick, but she seemed intent on taking her time as she slowly started exploring his bare chest. His low growl echoed off the cave walls when he met her gaze as she paused near his hip before leaving a matching bite in the skin.

His hips rose unconsciously as she slowly nipped her way to his other hip before biting hard enough to pierce his skin. He watched as she hesitated briefly after his hips rose, before she slid her fingers into his boxers and pulled them down.

His eyes closed with a moan as her hand encompassed him and slowly began to move. A growl tore from him and his hips jerked upwards as his eyes snapped open to look down at her. He had his hand in her hair attempting to pull her back before he lost himself to the pleasure she was eliciting.

“Vera, wait. _Fuck_.” He panted as she fought his pull and twirled her tongue around his tip. She felt him guide her head down slightly before pulling on her hair again to pull her off. She could tell he definitely wanted it but was fighting it because he knew she wasn’t a fan.

She allowed him to guide her off of him and released him with a small _pop_ that had his hips rising and him releasing another small growl. Vera patiently waited for him to attempt to regain control, but her hand continued its slow movement.

When he met her eyes, she could see how conflicted he was and immediately released him and crawled towards his mouth. She leaned in and gave him a deep kiss but kept the rest of herself from touching him. When she pulled back to meet his eyes, she had a small smile on her face.

“I _want_ to do this for you.” He saw the slight embarrassment on her face, but her eyes were honest. He had thought it might have been inspired by him telling her about Selena, but there was nothing but love in her eyes right now. His hand tightened in her hair as he pulled her back in for a toe-curling kiss.

“You can stop at any time you want, okay?” He asked once she pulled back and gave him a small nod before beginning her slow descent again. She made two small detours to kiss the already healing bites she’d left before slowly taking him back into her mouth.

She became a bit more confident as his reactions to what she was doing grew. He gathered her hair so he could see her completely and when she looked up and saw his eyes silver, she let out a hum of pleasure at seeing the effect she was having on him.

She hadn’t been anticipating his hips to jerk violently under her and found herself fighting back the gag as she took him in further than she’d expected. She immediately angled her head down slightly so he wouldn’t see her blinking her eyes rapidly as they watered.

Her gag reflex was the main reason she disliked doing this. She also had never found any excitement from past partners, but Hamish’s pleasured responses were enjoyable. At least at first.

She felt another gag coming on again as he guided her lower on him by her hair but didn’t pull back. Instead, she decided to allow him to guide her movements until he was finished. In an effort to stop her bodies reaction, she clenched her eyes tight to stop the obnoxious tears from the reflex and tightened her grip on the sleeping bag.

Vera was so focused on bracing for the inevitable unpleasantness that it took her several seconds to realize all motion had stopped on his end. She kept her eyes closed and went to lower herself, but his hand tightened in her hair and he gently pulled up.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized with closed eyes as soon as he pulled her off of him. She was irritated with herself because she _had_ been enjoying it. And she _knew_ he had been enjoying it as well before her reaction spoiled everything.

“Look at me.” Hamish requested softly as he brought his free hand to the side of her face. “Vera, please look at me.” He tried again when her eyes remained closed. He gave a small tug on her hair and was pleased when she finally met his eyes.

“Stop me when you don’t like something. I won’t be offended or upset or think anything less of you. I don’t want either one of us to ever not enjoy ourselves, especially when it comes to sex…”

“I was…” She protested weakly and sighed when she saw his raised brow. “At first.” She amended in a quiet voice and watched him smile as he tunneled his fingers into her hair.

“So was I. Now we both know the point where you don’t enjoy it and we can avoid it getting that far in the future. Don’t force yourself to continue something just for my sake. Besides, I would’ve stopped you before I finished anyways. I would much rather finish _with_ you while buried inside you.”

“I…” Vera was at a loss for words. He would never cease to amaze and surprise her. How could he go from completely lost in the throes of passion to registering the second she was uncomfortable? And to _stop_ his pleasure immediately to ensure _she_ was also enjoying herself.

Unable to properly voice what she was feeling at the moment, she gave him a grateful smile filled with love as she crawled over him and kissed him. He was still hard beneath her but made no movement to rush her.

“You’re perfect.” She whispered against his lips before pulling back and positioning herself over him, sinking down with a low moan. His hands came up to her hips and she felt his thumbs gently trace over the marks he’d left. She had been contemplating allowing them to scar over and each time she saw his reaction to them, she moved a step closer to that decision.

She wasn’t really sure _why_ they both had an obsession when it came to those two marks, but she absolutely loved them. Perhaps she would allow them to scar just lightly enough that you would only notice them if you were looking for them.

She looked down at him at that thought and saw his gaze had returned to one of the marks. She smiled and lowered herself down to capture his lips before encouraging him to roll until he was on top. He picked up his pace and began kissing along her neck.

When she felt herself beginning to crest, she pulled him from her chest to meet his eyes. Her last conscious thought before oblivion took her was, yes, she _did_ want to allow one of his marks to lightly mar her skin permanently.

She didn’t have long left, but she had no intention of ever letting someone else touch her body again. She wanted the mark to show she chose to be his for the rest of her life, no matter how short it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Vermish and Amalie/Vera's relationship.
> 
> Vera getting caught watching Hamish/snuggling against his back/telling Amalie that it's their time and that she could wait...probably my favorite parts.
> 
> And yeah...her dad is SERIOUSLY such an asshole!


End file.
